In the first 40 days of your postpartum period, it is essential to have healthy caloric intake and plenty of hydration to assist in building a lactation supply, as well as to keep you fueled and nourished while your baby grows bigger, stronger, and smarter everyday!

The following questions are meant to get you thinking about ways this can be accomplished with your current lifestyle and community support. Think about people who can help provide food, meal services in your area, allergies within your household, and who you trust to be involved in those early days.

Pro Tip: Leave a cooler on your front step for meal drop offs if you aren't wanting to see people right away! Boundaries are beautiful!

Recommended Reading: The first Forty Days: the Essential Art of Nourishing the New Mother

You might already be aware of the old saying "sleep when the baby sleeps" but you might not know that its easier said than done! Will your baby sleep for 20 min every 2 hours or for 2 hours with 20 min wake periods? Did you know "sleeping through the night" is relative (usually around 5 hours in duration) and a healthy baby sleeping through the night doesn't usually happen until 6-9 months?

So, as you prepare for your postpartum period, I encourage your and your partner to think about how much sleep you were getting prior to being pregnant, and find ways to now reach that amount within a 24 period rather than in one nightly stretch. Think about who will be in charge of baby's nightly waking and where the baby will be during those first few weeks.

Pro Tip: Babywearing is a great way to get skin-to-skin, boost milk supply, and be able to do things around the house while baby is encouraged to get a little extra shut eye... SLEEP BEGETS SLEEP! Aka, the more opportunities for baby to sleep will bring more opportunities for you to sleep.

Recommended Reading: Cribsheet by Emily Oster

Birthers are more likely to rest if their home needs are met, and often that means that their environment is calm and clean. This can be difficult for single parents, for parents with high home standards, or for partners that are expected to pick up the slack to mom's expectations while she is healing.

With this in mind, here are some ideas for getting your body healed and well rested, as well as some questions to think about for how healing can be achieved while also having the home looked after.

Pro Tips:
- Plan for at least 2 baths/showers per day - SITZ baths for enhanced healing. This keeps your vagina/bottom (tissues, muscles, stitches, hemorrhoids, etc) clean and soft and will promote faster healing of the area. Call provider with any signs of infections.
- Rest using the 5-5-5 Rule; 5 days IN the bed getting up only for bathing or using the toilet, 5 days ON the bed with easy activities, and 5 days NEAR the bed venturing down the the living room or kitchen but still avoiding any heavy lifting. This will help your body to get the rest it deserves after childbirth and 15 days is a lot more manageable than the common 6 week rule of minimal activity that usually gets ignored anyways.
- Postpartum yoga, pelvic floor therapy, and easy walks are great ways to reintroduce your body to the world at around 4-6 weeks with your providers guidance.

Recommended Reading: The Fourth Trimester: A Postpartum Guide to Healing Your Body, Balancing Your Emotions, and Restoring Your Vitality by Kimberly Ann Johnson

One of the things parents struggle with most (outside of getting enough sleep) is lactation! Part of this comes from lack of education, high expectations, and fear of failure. And the best way to avoid all of these things is to take a lactation/breastfeeding class to familiarize yourself with what that journey actually entails. Because it IS a journey that changes constantly -- monthly, weekly, daily, hourly, even by the minute!  Our bodies are incredible and the milk we make is made of different compositions depending on our health, our mood, our sleep, our nutrition, and our physiological connection with our babies, meaning that it changes based on babies needs too! Its filled with antibodies, vitamins, calories that help babies grow in size but also in neurological development. I could GUSH about the benefits of breastfeeding for days, but its MORE important to understand that its not always easy. However, with the right education and support it is absolutely possible.

Pro Tip: It takes TIME, PATIENCE, and PRACTICE for breastfeeding to work. My biggest and best suggestion is to have that baby at the breast as much as humanly possible, whether they are feeding or snuggling or anything else, because skin-to-skin is the way your baby communicates to your body to make and move milk. Supplements and pumping are often used too soon, even though they are great solutions for a baby in need.

Recommended Reading: The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding by La Leche League International

Here are just some basic tips for normal postpartum recovery needs, they do not supersede your providers guidance:  

Perineal Care
- Most hospitals provide a peri bottle to help keep your perineum clean as well as to rinse while urinating to avoid stinging sensations from sore, swollen tissue and/or stitches. If you birth at home or in a birth center, it might be nice to buy one or two to have at home after birth. Otherwise, keep the area clean and dry aside from bathing.

Bleeding
- Bleeding should decrease with time as your body heals the space where your placenta detached. Some people stop bleeding within 1-2 weeks while others continually decrease for as long as 8 weeks. On average bleeding stops within 4-6 weeks (the more you rest, the quicker you'll heal). If you experience blood clots bigger than an egg, a phone call to your provider is a good idea. If you experience an increase in bleeding after being more active than normal, it is a good sign that you need more rest and shouldn't exert yourself too much yet.

Incision Care
- Most providers use stitches these days rather than staples and they will dissolve naturally at home. Providers will give you instructions on how to change the dressing/bandages and clean the area as well as provide warning signs of infection.

Booty Care
- Birth takes a toll on us, but not all of us expect it to go beyond our beautiful lady bits. The truth is that our butts will need extra care too in the days/weeks following birth. This means you could expect gassiness and bloating as your hormones and diet change, as well as hemorrhoids and constipation. Remember these things will go away, but some helpful tools are: Stool softeners, healthy dieting, increased water intake, tucks pads, witch hazel, sitz bath, cushions/pillows, padsicles, etc.

Belly Care
- You just had a baby, its ok to give your body a break. In fact, if you jump into exercising too soon, it could do more damage than good. After the 5-5-5 Rule and providers guidance, the next best thing may be gentle prenatal or postpartum yoga to help with core work. This is usually around 4-6 weeks postpartum. Core work may be followed by pelvic floor physical therapy; a great way to re-strengthen those ligaments and tissues as to avoid incontinence.

Hormonal Care
- This could mean ANYTHING hormonal. It could relate to your mental/emotional wellbeing, stress, profuse sweating, hair loss, among others. Just remember you are not alone. Having a partner or friend to check in with is so helpful. Baby blues are normal emotional highs and lows following birth, but postpartum depression or anxiety is more heightened and prolonged and should be discussed with a health care professional. Birth is wild and can really change our biological/chemical composition; hormonal supplements or certain medications may be helpful in the transition. Stress can also trigger incontinence, constipation, or milk supply issues, so finding ways to relax will be especially important. Massage or talk therapy is great place to start.

Here are some basic tips and reminders for newborn care (but I always recommend taking a Newborn Basics Class prior to birth).

Bathing
- Your baby is born covered in vernix, an ooey gooey moisturizing and nutritious waxy substance that helps protect them in their new environment after birth. Within 24 hours it soaks into their skin so that it is no longer visible, but it is still providing a protectant coating filled with nutrients for the next several days if left alone. Some people will prefer to have their baby bathed at the hospital as a learning experience where the nurse shows them how to bath an infant. Others prefer to decline the hospital bath and wait several days to bathe the baby at home. After their first bath, once per week is normally often enough as bathing too often can cause dry skin.

Cord Care
- Simple. Keep it clean and dry until it falls off. No need to use soaps or alcohol. Call your provider if signs of infection occur.

Circumcision
- Some choose to circumcise or not due to family, religion, tradition, culture, or medical reasons. It is important to note that currently circumcision rates are closer to 50% than ever before, so your child will not be the only one with or without in the locker room. Studies have also shown that it may cause delay in milk supply if baby is unable to get the skin-to-skin they need in those early hours/days due to stress, time away from the birthing parent, and possible anesthesia. Providers in hospitals may offer to circumcise within 48 hours of birth, while pediatricians schedule it within 10 days of birth. Ask your doula, midwife, or doctor for more information if you're having trouble with this decision.

The 5 S's of calming a baby
- Swaddle; keeps the baby secure and avoids the startle reflex
- Side/Stomach position; not for safe sleeping, but definitely for soothing a fussy babe
- Shushing; babies love that white noise, its like being in the womb again
- Swing; again, mimicking those movements from in the womb can help a baby feel calm and comfortable
- Sucking; whether breastfeeding or using a pacifier or finger or anything else they can safely suck on can help to calm them too

Feeding Positions
- Cradle; great for babies that can find a good latch on their own
- Cross Cradle; great for beginners finding their rhythm
- Football Hold; great for those with larger breasts or for getting baby to open their mouth wider for a better latch
- Side Lying; great for co-sleepers (with safety measures), great for relaxing with baby
- Laid Back; great if you have an over supply or fast let down so baby doesn't choke/gag on a mouthful of milk, and great for tummy time!

Hunger Cues
- REM sleep; baby's eyes beginning to flutter, all is calm
- Rooting; baby sucking, sticking out tongue, turning head
- Quiet Alert Stage; opening mouth, bringing hands to mouth
- Fussing/Crying;  if baby doesn't latch right away, try soothing first
- Frantic; harder to latch, best to try to calm baby and reattempt after being calmed

Tummy Time
- Skin to skin
- Breastfeeding
- Play mats
- Babywearing

Bonding
- Skin to skin
- Feeding
- Babywearing
- Talking, singing, reading
- Going for walks

*** If you ever feel overwhelmed or as though you may hurt your baby, set your baby down in a safe place, preferably with another trusted adult if able, and go into another room for space. ***

If this isn't your first, you may be wondering how things will change and what that transition will look like. You may be worried you could never love a new baby like you love your older child or that your older child will feel left out. So lets think of some ways for them to feel included and cared for once the new baby comes.

Pro Tip: Talk about how wonderful it will be to have a new member of the family and all the positives it will bring, rather than how having a new baby will be "different" or "hard". Sometimes that creates a sense of "blame" on the new baby causing undue rivalry before baby even arrives.

Recommended Reading/videos: https://twincitiesmidwifery.com/resources-for-preparing-siblings-for-birth/

Sexuality in the postpartum period is strongly influenced by a birther’s culture, experience before pregnancy, physiology, and their emotional and psychological well-being. Changes in sexual feelings, desire, and sense of attractiveness are NORMAL. Factors: episiotomy, cesarean birth, lactation, fatigue/sleep deprivation, libido, bleeding or discharge, dyspareunia (painful intercourse), fears of not hearing baby, fear of injury or pain, decreased sense of attractiveness, etc. There is usually a gradual return to pre-pregnancy levels of sexual desire, enjoyment, and frequency of sexual intercourse within a year; this is normal. Physical contact and communication with your partner everyday is crucial! Hold hands, hug, and kiss if you are up for it. Encourage birther to connect with provider with concerns of extended discomfort.

The people who make up your village play a huge role in your recovery and sense of belonging as your identity grows from who you were into who you will be. A new saying that comes to mind is that "when women birth their babies, they also birth themselves". And it is such a beautiful thought! But along side that beauty can sometimes be some uncertainty and fear. So having a village to rely on is so useful in navigating physical and emotional changes, as well as just the logistics of having a new little baby to care for.  Use the list below to start thinking of everyone in your village. When you get this form emailed, print it off and fill it out and stick it right on your fridge for easy access to your support team!