The 4th Replacement Search

<b>The Operator seeks a replacement:</b>
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I was chosen for this arrangement, as was the person before me and before them, by an organisation not listed in any record. Unfortunately, decades ago, all communications from them ceased. And much to my concern and relief, I've recently decided to retire. Therefore, after satisfying the arrangement through far too many world and civil wars, changes in borders, flags and great moments of human ingenuity, I am forced to find my own replacement.

While I cannot tell you the specifics of this arrangement, I can say my daily tasks are vital to everything. And by everything I mean exactly what the word implies. Without the simple and reoccurring tasks I complete, what you know now will no longer be.

Unlike the papers I received, I am using a contemporary method, a contact form, to start my search. The questions it contains are updated versions of those I was asked before being chosen. I realize this list of questions will seem absurdly long and strange. I felt the same when answering, but they are all necessary. I've attempted to occasionally insert humor, but do not confused that with a lack of grave sincerity.

Age, race, gender, education, nationality are not important, as only your responses to the questions will be considered. Additionally, answers in other languages will be translated, but my own limitations mean this form is in English.

Only those whose answers most closely resemble mine will be contacted. Please note that unless I cannot find a replacement, what you know as everything is in no immediate danger.

thank you, Sebastian
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    Finding the closest and most complete arboretum as quickly as possible.
    Submerging yourself in a nearby creek until the sun sets.
    Under threat of violence or by bribery gather at least a hundred people into a circle in a sporting field and start jumping.
    Press the button.
    Take pictures, then take pictures of the pictures and then pictures of those pictures, continuously.
    Crash the nearest cement truck into a newly opened home-wares store.
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    Jar of smooth river rocks and change from foreign lands.
    Capless pen from 4-star hotel.
    Keys to box containing legal documents for adopting your cousin's two youngest children.
    Dimes and only dimes.
    Book that prominently features dragons, but not on the cover.
    The nail clippings of angels on vacation.
    Shoes with soles worn thin by escalators.
    Paste in a plastic container.
    Interruptions in consistent and continuous colour.
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    The eating of felines.
    The manipulation of time, lives and magnetic fields via remote mechanisms.
    Anonymous sexual encounters.
    Mathematical prayers via sign language.
    Erasing of life including religious figures and the societal memory of religious icons.
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    Honest Swedish Banker
    Chemist for Coca-Cola
    Thick Necked Bruiser
    Pet Funeral Director
    Drunken Salesperson
    Mister Four Hats
    Lincoln's Great-Grand Daughter
    The Overly Cautious
    Serial Killer of the Bad
    Those too Rich for Kindness
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    Optional Questions.

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