If you want to get someone to stop bullying, using the 5 step approach in this lesson can be very effective.

The 5 steps are:
1. Ask
2. Tell them why
3. Give options
4. Confirm action
5. Act

ASK:If you want someone to do something it is always better to ask them rather than tell them. So, if a bully is always picking on you ask them to stop! Example, "I'd really appreciate it if you stop calling me names".

TELL THEM WHY: They need to know WHAT'S IN IT FOR THEM. You need to give them an important reason for them to stop bullying them. Example "you would not want people calling you names so why do you call me names?".

GIVE OPTIONS: There are always positive and negative options. Always start with the positive options first. Don't threaten, use your mushin and pay attention to the tone and pitch of YOUR voice. Your goal here is to convince them to stop! Example: "Can we just stay away from each other so you can quit calling me names?"

CONFIRM ACTIONS: At this point, you are trying to get some final actions. You must ask this directly..."is there anything I can say or do to get you to stop calling me names? I'd like to think so."

ACT: By now you have exhausted all your verbal techniques for de-escalating the situation, so you need to take action. We will discuss action at length in the next module.

Giving options is important. You always want to start with a positive option rather than threatening them. *
Can we not hang around each other so you don't say hurtful things to me? Is this a good or bad thing to say to the bully? *
What can I do to make this stop? Write what you would say to a bully. *
Your answer
I do not want to fight. I don't think you do ether... *
Do we go our separate ways or how do we work it out? How would you approach this with the bully? *
Your answer
Name *
Your answer
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