Friends of Nice Guy
Please answer these questions about the friend that referred you as best as you can, in regards to their romantic life, and their relationship with you, and their life in general.
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He has rigid view of relationships and uncompromising rules (which you must comply with).
Has difficulty talking about what’s going on between you.
Makes you feel uncomfortable for asking where the relationship is headed.
When you have a misunderstanding, is not too busy proving s/he is right to solve the problem.
Pretends to be unavailable or busy.
If you come home tired and don’t want to talk, interprets it as “You don’t love me anymore."
Flexible view of relationships.
Tries to see whether you still have feelings for your ex.
Doesn't express his/her needs but eventually acts upset about an accumulation of hurts.
Makes plans that take your preferences into account. Doesn’t assume s/he knows best.
Expresses insecurities—worries about rejection.
Makes sweeping statements like "All women/men want such' and-such" or “After you get married or move in together, they change on you.“
Is sure that dates are out to “hitch" him/her into marriage.
Makes plans in advance and follows through. If can’t make it. Gives advance notice, apologizes, and specifies an alternative plan.
Acts distant and uninterested if you don’t call as much as he does.
Is certain its best to live in separate houses or not to get married.
Can reach compromise during arguments.
Communicates relationship issues well.
“You know what, forget it, I don’t want to talk about it.”
Has a hard time not making things about himself/herself in the relationship.
Reliable and consistent.
During a disagreement, needs to get away or “explodes.”
Doesn't like talking on the phone even if this is your main way to connect.
Phones when s/he says s/hell phone.
Unhappy when not in a relationship.
Certain topics are off-limits.
Expects you to pick up from subtle cues that s/he is upset. (If this doesn’t work, acts out.)
Gets up and walks out in fury.
Makes you feel comfortable for asking about where the relationship stands or how s/he sees your future together (even if the answer isn’t to your liking).
Makes decisions with you (not unilaterally).
Threatens to leave during an argument (but later changes his/ her mind).
Plays games to keep your attention/interest.
You can sense that he or she is desperate to find someone even if he/she doesn't say so.
Doesn’t go back on promises. If s/he can’t keep promise—explains!
Has a strong preference for a certain "type" of partner: very good-looking or very thin or blond, for example.
Discusses plans, doesn’t like to decide without hearing your opinion first.
Likes a great deal of physical contact (holding hands, caressing, kissing) with his partner.
Isn’t looking for a particular type of partner;, e.g.. a certain age or appearance.
Tells you if something is bothering him or her; doesn’t act out or expect you to guess.
Does his/her best to understand what is really bothering you and to address that issue.
Mistrustful—fears being taken advantage of by partner.
Doesn’t make sweeping statements like “All women/men want such-and-such” or “After you get married or move in together, they change on you."
Acts out—instead of trying to resolve the problem between you.
Has difficulty explaining what's bothering him/her. Expects you to guess.
Wants a lot of closeness in the relationship with his partner.
Doesn't make his/her intentions clear—leaves you guessing as to his/her feelings.
Tries hard to please you.
Fears partner will take financial advantage of him or her.
You call, s/he calls; you say you have feelings, s/he says s/he has feelings for you (at least at first). Doesn't want to take chances.
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