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Dean's 'What Next?' Spring Survey 2013
Hey Folks, Thanks in advance for taking the time to fill out this 'What Next?' survey. The results will be extremely helpful in my determining what's on your mind and what the $@#* I should do next. There are no wrong answers to this survey, so just have fun and let me know what you really think. Or you could also just make stuff up and leave me completely befuddled as to which way to go. That's fine too.
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1. Do you even have time to take another stupid survey or are you really just avoiding doing whatever it is you're supposed to be doing at this very moment?
Yes, I'm unemployed and have all the time in the world to waste on Dean's frivolous survey.
No, I'm a very busy person and every second I spend on this useless activity could be better spent doing something productive and beneficial to the human race.
Not exactly sure. But, seriously, Dean, do you really care how I answer this question, or is this just a sly way of lulling me into a false sense of relaxation while you plant subliminal suggestions in the guise of curious questions?
Clear selection
2. Which of Dean's albums do you currently own?
[Note: if your Dean albums were lost in a flood, fire or when you split with your ex and they took everything including your beloved pet turtle and your entire Dean Friedman collection, do not check an album as 'currently owned'.
Dean Friedman [The First Album]
"Well, Well," Said the Rocking Chair'
Rumpled Romeo
Songs for Grownups
The Treehouse Journals
Squirrels in the Attic
Submarine Races
Live! At The Duke of York
Dean Friedman In Concert – Sheperds Bush Empire
Music From 'Boon' TV Soundtrack
Kids Songs
A Million Matzoh Balls
3. How many of Dean's gigs have you been to?
None
1
2
3
4
5 to 10
11 or more than I care to admit.
Clear selection
4. Which of the following musical instruments did Dean not invent?
Honkblatt
Laser Harp
Booble
Tone Stones
Boing-D-Boing
Jingle-Lingle-Lilies
Floogle
Clear selection
5. Dean is considering a number of upcoming projects, including a new album, a concert DVD, an instrumental jazz fusion album, song books, a UK/Ireland tour with a band, a US tour with a band and a UK tour of "Smelly Feet" - a children's musical that really stinks! Which of these projects would you be inclined to help fund via a Kickstarter or IndieGoGo crowd-funding scenario?
Choose as many as you like.
New Dean Friedman Album
Instrumental Jazz Album: The South Street Fusion Project
Live Concert DVD / Documentary
Dean Friedman Song Books
UK/Ireland Tour - Dean Friedman w/ Band
US Tour - Dean Friedman w/ Band
UK Tour of "Smelly Feet" - a children's musical that really stinks!
Construction of the 'Worlds Largest Toothpick' to serve as a tourist attraction and anchor to the Museum of Toothpicks, complete with dioramas and an animated video depicting the history of toothpicks along with displays of actual toothpicks used by people throughout the ages. The museum will house a gift shop selling many different varieties of toothpicks.
None of the above. What am I, made of money?
5. Of these various projects, which one would you most likely help fund?
Only choose one.
New Dean Friedman Album
Instrumental Jazz Album: The South Street Fusion Project
Live Concert DVD / Documentary
Dean Friedman Song Books
UK/Ireland Tour - Dean Friedman w/ Band
US Tour - Dean Friedman w/ Band
UK Tour of "Smelly Feet" - a children's musical that really stinks!
Construction of the 'Worlds Largest Toothpick' to serve as a tourist attraction and anchor to the Museum of Toothpicks, complete with dioramas and an animated video depicting the history of toothpicks along with displays of actual toothpicks used by people throughout the ages. The museum will house a gift shop selling many different varieties of toothpicks.
None of the above. Toothpicks? Really, Dean?
Clear selection
6. On a scale of 0 to 10, just how annoyed are you getting, right about now, while taking this ludicrous survey?
0
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
Clear selection
7. Approximately how much money would you be happy contributing to your favorite Dean Friedman project?
Happy is the operative word here; if you were to be disgruntled while writing out the check that wouldn't count.
Not a single copper penny!
£5 to £10 ( about $7 to $15)
£10 to £25 ( about $15 to $37)
£25 to £50 ( about $37 to $75)
£50 to £100 ( about $75 to $150)
£100 to £250 ( about $150 to $375)
£250 to £1,000 ( about $375 to $1,500)
£1,000 to £10,000 ( about $1,500 to $15,000)
More than £10,000 ( more than $15,500)
Clear selection
8. What is your favorite Dean Friedman song lyric?
Your answer
9. Would you pay good money to buy a T-Shirt with that song lyric on it?
Yes
No
Clear selection
10. Do you know why 'The Dolphins Were Dancing'?
because Flipper finally got his long-awaited invitation to Dancing With the Stars.
because their Miami-based football team finally won their league division by a 34 to 0 shutout.
because the 'Whales Were Wiggling'.
because man had finally become extinct.
because they'd been invited by their octopus neighbors to the an under-the-sea 'rave' where a hip, eight-tentacled DJ was spinning '90's electronica and passing out electric eels, otherwise known as Ee's.
Clear selection
11. Are you having any regrets about having started this survey in the first place?
Definitely!
I'm beginning to.
Naah! I could do this all day!
Clear selection
12. Which of the following items would you be most likely to purchase at a Dean Friedman gig?
Light Cap
Killer Attack Spider (mechanical device to scare away woodpeckers and other annoying animals.)
Touch-Sensitive Pet Doormat (a doorbell for pets that plays a variety of tunes when your cat or dog (or pet duck) stands on it.)
Cannabis Seeds (Note: only applicable in territories where distributing cannabis seeds is perfectly legal)
Vinyl LP reissue of "Well, Well," Said the Rocking Chair'
None of the above. C'mon, Dean, I've got stuff to do!
Clear selection
13. O.K., O.K., almost done with the survey. Here's another important question though: If you happen to live with an animal, what kind of animals do you live with and what are their names?
Your answer
14. Alright, one last question: Who stole the pickle from the pickle jar?
You stole the pickle from the pickle jar!
Who me? Couldn't be!
Then who?
Clear selection
15. Finally (this is not a question), if you have any pertinent (or impertinent) comments you'd like to make, go right ahead and make 'em here. Your thoughts, feedback and suggestions are always welcome!:
Your answer
EMAIL ADDRESS (Optional):
Your answer
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