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Still My Child No Matter What
This is a place to share your experience of being the parent of an individual who has caused sexual harm and/or been accused of a sexual offense.  As I discovered when I started on that journey, there's very little guidance or support or community or even acknowledgment of our predicament, our grief, our struggles, our trauma.  I created this survey as a place to collect the stories of others who have been there, in the hopes of sharing them in some way for the benefit of others.  Maybe it will be as simple as posting a link to the raw responses that other parents can read and know they're not alone, not crazy.   Maybe it will turn into a website, maybe spark scholarly writing, who knows maybe even a book although that seems unlikely.  Life is unpredictable, as we have all learned.  I just wanted to start somewhere to give us a voice.

If your child's offenses include sexual harm of a brother or sister, I have another survey covering that specific situation at https://docs.google.com/forms/d/170v19PiIU7B0qzwuqsXKsFhH1nAPTnYfsna7x6hvu8M/edit

This is a long survey--answer as much or as little as you'd like, feel free to come back later and add more. Or just skip to the end and write out your story in your own words.  If anyone wants to connect more around this effort, ask questions, or share actual contact information, please e-mail me at brknhrt2018@gmail.com 
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What name would you want to use to be associated with your response (recommend not related to your real name)?
Are you willing to have your words here shared online or in print, identified by the name above? *
Which of the following describe your situation?
How long has it been since you found out what your child did?
Was your child criminally convicted?
Clear selection
What name would you like associated with your story if it appears online or in print? (Not your real name, please.)
How did you find out about your child's offense?  Tell as much or as little of your story as you'd like.
Share what you would like of your feelings and reactions when you first found out.
What critical decisions did you have to make?  How did you make them?  
Please share what your contact and experience with the criminal justice system was like, if any.
Did you have any sources of support in the months that followed?  If so, what were they and how did they help?  (This could be personal, professional, family, faith, online, anything)
What kinds of social opposition or isolation did you encounter? Share whatever you wish.
Please describe any physical, mental, emotional symptoms you recall experiencing in the months or years following your discovery of your child's behavior.
What were the most helpful steps you took to cope/recover?
What kind of support and/or information do you wish you had?
On a scale of 1-10, 1 being the least stressful and 10 being the most, how stressful would you rate this experience?  If you have had other significant life stresses, please share how you would rate them to help make meaningful comparisons.
To what extent have you been able to believe/accept your child's offense?  How have you come to that point?
To your knowledge, was your child also a victim of any kind of sexual assault or abuse? Share whatever you would like pertaining to this.
If you could go back in time, what advice would you give yourself after you found out your child's offense?
Please describe your relationship with your child before the discovery and as you and he and the family reacted to the discovery.
Please describe your relationship with the offending child now, in as much or little detail as you would like.  What has the journey been like?
How has this experience changed you as a person?  
Please share anything else you would like, for the benefit of other parents facing the same thing.
Please share anything else you would like, for the benefit of professionals working with families in this situation.
You are invited to share your racial/ethnic identity
If it's easier to just write your story all at once, please do so here.
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