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Men's Sexual Performance
This survey is intended to gather more insight on how messaging around "checking the boxes" to be a man or being "enough" may affect sexual performance, intimacy and enjoyment. This is for straight men with penises who have sex with women with vaginas and have had or are currently having sexual performance concerns. As a Sex & Intimacy Coach and Intimacy Surrogate, I see a lot of men who come to me to work on sexual performance and I wish to gain as much perspective as possible. I am based in the United States with a mostly Western Culture background. Your voice is greatly appreciated. I will not share your identity or personal info. Please feel free to be as real as you can to help gain better understanding of men's unspoken needs.
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Major City Location *
Birthdate *
Do you have children *
What is your current relationship style? *
What concerns you in your sexual performance? (Check all that apply) *
Do you have performance issues when getting off on your own? *
How much foreplay do you usually engage in before penetrative sex? *
If you engage in foreplay, is it equally given and received? *
Do you feel you're able to relax into your own pleasure and follow what feels good or is there more preoccupation with doing it right for your Partner? Please share your thoughts. *
When do you start getting anxious about penetrative sex? (Check all that apply) *
When you have a sexual performance issue during an encounter, what thoughts go through your mind about your body not responding the way you want it to? Please share. *
How comfortable do you feel talking about your emotional and sexual needs with a Partner "outside the bedroom"? Please share and why. *
How do you feel your sexual performance is related to your identity as a man or being enough? Please share your thoughts if you feel this is related. *
Do you feel like you have to "reign in" your sexuality or it will be "too much"? If so, please share your thoughts.
What are the thoughts in your mind as you are escalating towards penetrative sex? *
Do you feel that you need to check masculinity trait boxes to be considered attractive? Please share your thoughts. *
How do you feel that what is expected of you as a man affects how you are able to express emotional needs in your relationship to a Partner? Please share your thoughts if you feel this related. *
How do you feel that what is expected of you as a man affects the dynamics in dating? Please share your thoughts if you feel this is related. *
Do you hesitate asking what your Partner wants if you think they're not enjoying it? If so, please describe why you hesitate. *
How do you feel about the messaging that as a man, you  should know how to lead woman through flirting, seduction and sex and know how to do it right without asking her? Please share your thoughts on what comes up for you hearing this messaging. *
Do you feel like you can talk about emotional and sexual intimacy concerns you're experiencing with a Partner with your male friends and have it be a supportive environment? *
How do you receive consent from a Partner? *
How do you give consent to a Partner? *
What do you seek in sex emotionally? *
How do you navigate emotionally challenging situations and topics when you feel triggered? *
What enables you to feel safe in developing emotional intimacy? *
When did you start having sexual performance issues? Please describe an event or situation that you associate with this. *
How do you want to be viewed by a Partner? (Such as knight in shining armor? Capable? Strong? Provider, Desired...etc) *
Anything else you want to share.
Thank you. Your voice means a great deal and you're helping bring more awareness to men's unspoken needs. If you have any feedback such as any other questions to ask, rephrasing or assumptions I may be making, I would love to receive it to enhance the help I am able to provide for you all.
Ashley Randall
Irreverent Love & Sex Coach for Men
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