Section 1 of 1
One-Belief-at-a-Time Worksheet
The Work—A Written Meditation
On the line below, write down a stressful concept about someone (alive or dead) whom you haven't forgiven 100 percent. (For example, “He doesn’t care about me” or “I did it wrong.”) Then question the concept in writing, using the following questions and turnarounds. (Use additional paper as needed.) When answering the questions, close your eyes, be still, and witness what appears to you. Inquiry stops working the moment you stop answering the questions.
On the line below, write down a stressful concept about someone (alive or dead) whom you haven't forgiven 100 percent. (For example, “He doesn’t care about me” or “I did it wrong.”) Then question the concept in writing, using the following questions and turnarounds. (Use additional paper as needed.) When answering the questions, close your eyes, be still, and witness what appears to you. Inquiry stops working the moment you stop answering the questions.
Belief:
Belief:
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Example: I'm angry because Paul doesn’t listen to me about his health.
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1. Is it true?
1. Is it true?
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(Yes or no. If no, move to 3.)
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No
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2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
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(Yes or no.)
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3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
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A. HOW DO YOU TREAT HIM? For example: I give him the look. I interrupt him. I punish him by not paying attention to him. B. HOW DO YOU TREAT YOURSELF? C. WHERE DO YOU FEEL IT? D. WHAT IS THE SELF TALK IN YOUR HEAD?
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4. Who would you be without the thought?
4. Who would you be without the thought?
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Close your eyes and wait. Imagine yourself, just for a moment, without the thought. Imagine you DON'T HAVE the ability to think the thought. Imagine you didn't have the thought he even SHOULD listen. (The end result you are looking for!) How would you treat that person differently? Does that feel kinder?
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Turn the thought around
Turn the thought around
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Then find AT LEAST THREE specific, genuine examples of how each turnaround is true for you in this situation. Example of a statement: He hurt me.
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Remember: For each turnaround, go back and start with the original statement
Remember: For each turnaround, go back and start with the original statement
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Do not turn around a statement that has already been turned around. For example, “He shouldn’t waste his time” may be turned around to “I shouldn’t waste my time,” “I shouldn’t waste his time,” and “He should waste his time.” Note that “I should waste my time” and “I should waste his time” are not valid turnarounds; they are turnarounds of turnarounds rather than turnarounds of the original statement.
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1. To the self
1. To the self
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(I hurt me. OR My thinking about me should ... to ...)
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2. To the other
2. To the other
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(I hurt him. OR My thinking about others should ... to ...)
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3. To the opposite
3. To the opposite
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a) (He didn’t hurt me. OR My thinking about me shouldn't ... to ...)
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