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The Power of Focus
How to Exceed Your Own Expectations in Life, Love, Health, Career, Spirituality,
Finances, Recovery, Attitude and More
David Essel, M.S.
Author, National XM Satellite Radio Host, Master Life and Business Coach
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Smashwords Edition
Copyright 2012 David Essel
License Notes: This ebook is free and is for your personal enjoyment.
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“David Essel's destiny is to help you become more alive in every area of your life.”
~ Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
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Table of Contents
Introduction
Chapter 1: Why This Book and Why Now
Chapter 2: What Does it Mean to be Fully Focused in Life?
Chapter 3: The One Thing TheoryTM, the Only High-Focused Goal-Achievement System
You Will Ever Need
Chapter 4: Focus plus Accountability equals Exceeding Our Own Expectations in Life
Chapter 5: How to Manifest Your Goals in a Focused Way
Chapter 6: Karma: Enhance it With Daily Focus
Chapter 7: The Eight Key Tips to Help You Stay Focused in Life
Chapter 8: Why Do We Shoot for Less Than We Deserve in Life, and What to Do About
It
Chapter 9: A Few of the Many People Who Have Helped Me to Stay Focused in Life so
that I Can Exceed My Own Expectations
Chapter 10: Final Thoughts on The Power of Focus
Appendix 1 Where do we go from here? Your next step to create the life you desire.
Appendix 2: Resources to Help You Stay Focused in Life and Exceed Your Own
Expectations
Contest Information
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The Power of Focus
"David is the radiant soul of radio. He is brilliant, insightful and easy to listen to. David
makes a real difference in his listeners' lives." ~Mark Victor Hansen, Chicken Soup for
the Soul
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Introduction
I have come to realize that we get out of life what we focus our thoughts on, and just as
importantly, what we focus our actions on, on a daily basis. Over the years many people
have put the emphasis for our success on the power of thought, from books to DVDs and
movies. So much that you see today in regards to goal achievement and goal setting is
about focusing our thoughts. While this is incredibly important, what you are going to
find out in this book, and what I think separates this book from so many other of the
products on personal growth and motivation, is that we are going to look not just at what
our mind is doing, but what our actions are doing, or not doing, on a daily basis as well.
When I look at my life twenty years ago, I can tell you that I fell victim as well to all of
the hype and hoopla around the teaching that says if we just focus our mind in a certain
way, life will dramatically change. For years, I even taught this theory about “focusing
our mind, focusing our mind, focusing our mind,” but what happened in my life, and
what has happened to millions and millions of other people, is that this concept can only
get us so far. Eventually the mind is either going to retreat into old behaviors and old
belief systems, because it actually does not believe it when we say that, “I own seven
homes around the world today,” when in actuality, we are renting a mobile home. There
is nothing wrong with renting a mobile home, but I think you get the picture. This book is
going to offer a different look at focus. The mind is important, but there is much, much
more that we are going to cover in regards to this and the overall goal of achieving more
in life.
The other thing that is going to separate this book from many other concepts regarding
success is that we are going to focus on a simple formula, an extremely unique goal
achievement system, that if followed, you will be finally able to exceed your own
expectations in every area of life. I am so excited to introduce this system via this book to
the world. We have been working with this success concept since 1996, and now, after
years of changing thousands of people’s lives from all over the world through our 1-on-1
sessions and private class settings, we are sharing this success secret now, so that the
power of this system can help millions of more people to focus and exceed their own
expectations in life.
If you apply the principles in this book, you will become an amazing positive force in
your life. You will see your life change, and then as importantly, you will start to see the
lives of those around you shift as well. The world will change when you apply these
principles. Now some people, they might say, “Wow! This guy is an egomaniac. He is
telling me that if I follow the program in this book, that I myself can change the world.”
And the answer is, absolutely yes. You see, we have condensed some of the most
powerful teachings since the beginning of time into this book to help you focus. There is
no need to recreate wheels. There is no need to go out and continue to search and look,
because in our searching and in our looking we often overlook one major tenet to success,
and that is the focus of our daily actions. We are going to deeply explore the significance
of our daily actions in this book. At the end of this book, I only want one thing for you: I
want you to see that you hold the power in your own life, and that by applying certain
techniques in a specific way, you will be able to exceed your own expectations. I have
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realize that this approach might actually be hurting us in life. At some point, we have got
to get focused. I know that if you really apply the principles as we are setting them out in
this book, that your dreams about achieving specific levels of success in life no longer
have to be just dreams, they can become your reality. You will see that you will be able
to exceed your own expectations, but it will take, and I say this to you with an open heart
and an open mind, it will take you doing things differently. It will take you surrendering
to a new way of thinking and acting.
When I was struggling financially, I had to surrender to a financial coach, and have her
take me by the hand down her path to success. When I have wanted to radically change
my body, I have had to surrender to someone else’s way of thinking. As a matter of fact,
going back fifteen years ago now, I surrendered to a guy named Bill Phillips, who wrote
the book,” Body For Life.” Even though I did not agree initially with the system that he
wrote about in his book, when I wanted to radically change my body, and become part of
a body sculpting contest, I had to throw out my old belief systems, and follow someone
else’s to get the success that I had wanted. That is called focus. When I have wanted to
get sober in life, which I will tell you about at the end of the book, I had to throw out my
beliefs of what it meant to get sober and follow someone else’s program. In other words,
focus right now. If we can get this into our mindset, focus means that if you are not
getting what you want out of a certain area of life, with your mind, your body, your
relationships, your career, your finances, and you truly want to see a radical shift in that
one area of life, you are going to have to surrender and focus to someone else’s program
that has what you desire. It is that simple.
So, why is now the time that this message about focus is so needed in our world today?
First, we have to agree that we are highly distracted in life. Life is moving so fast.
Between all of the different technology that is available, the five thousand channels on
television, the high expectations we have for our children, to not just be in soccer and do
well in school, but to be in soccer, and theatre, and political clubs, and volunteer on
weekends. All of a sudden, if you look around, we see harried parents driving their
children to a myriad of events, and losing themselves in the process. In other words, our
desire for success has gotten so out of control, that we have lost the concept of focus. We
cannot even sit down at lunch with a friend without having our iPhone go off with texts
and calls, and who knows what else. This time in our lives, more than ever, we need to
slow down and focus. Focus on what we desire. Focus on what is meaningful in life.
Our desire for instant gratification destroys our focus, as well. We want the big hit. We
want to lose the thirty pounds today. We want to make the hundred-thousand dollars now.
We want to buy the homes and flip them, and become a millionaire in two years. Do you
see what I am saying? We are so distracted with technology; we are so distracted with
instant gratification, we have lost the concept of the power of focus. Until now. Through
this book, we will bring back the power of focus, and finally get what we desire in life.
We need to slow down. We need to sit back. We need to focus, or our life is going to pass
us by, and we are going to say, “Was that all it was about?” Here is the good news: You
can change all of this today by getting focused and following the system in this book.
Then watch yourself month by month exceed your own expectations.
Chapter Review
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Take a moment right now, without going any further, to slow down and focus on what
was in important in the previous chapter. These writing exercises are the absolute gems
of this work, which when done will help you to get the most out of your time and this
book. Remember, do not trust your brain to be able to recall this life changing
information. The act of writing allows you to delve deeper into your mind, and to focus
on what was important to you in the previous pages that is relevant to your growth at this
time in your life. As simple as these exercises are, I think the act of filling in the
questions here could be one of the most powerful steps that you can take, right now, to
create the life you desire. These questions are so powerful, that they are the same ones
that I have used since 1991 in my work with clients as a Master Life Coach. Slow down,
focus, write, then act to become who you truly want to be in life.
1) What was covered in detail, in this chapter?
2) What was of most interest to you and why?
3) What would be 1 or 2 actions steps, relevant to the information in this chapter, that you
could take right now to help you to focus more in life? Be specific, and also put the exact
day and time that you will take these steps.
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because there are going to be plenty of things in this book for both the left-brained and
the right-brained person to attach to that will be easy, that will be joyful, and that they
will connect with effortlessly. And do that. Connect. Get focused. Enjoy it. However, as I
have seen in my life, and in the thousands of clients that I have worked with over the
years, it’s when we delve into the uncomfortable, when we hold ourselves accountable to
certain daily practices that aren’t natural, we see the greatest success. Keep that in mind
as we go through the book. When something doesn’t feel right, when we are talking
about doing a daily practice, and you say, “Oh, that is not for me,” just remember, that
it’s exactly for you. If you follow through with this system, you will absolutely exceed
your own expectations in life.
As you read this book, you can probably see that most of us live in a highly unfocused
existence, and that is the reason why we don’t have what we want in life. Let me give you
an example of what this looks like. First of all, if you want to know the classic way to
defeat yourself in life, look at the practice of our New Year’s resolutions. On New Year’s
Eve, people make these resolutions for the year; that “I am going to lose weight, quit
smoking, save more money, find the love of my life, save my marriage,” and they go on,
and on, and on, right? It is probably one of the biggest reasons why we never exceed our
own expectations in life, because we are not focused. The New Year’s Eve resolution
system is the most unfocused form of goal setting known to man. And how do we know
this? Because twelve months later, for ninety-five percent of people who still set their
New Year’s resolutions, most of those resolutions are repeated. So, we know it doesn’t
work.
Another example of how we know that most of us live an unfocused life is the starting
and the stopping of projects. And this is classic. How many times have we started to lose
weight, and then we stopped? How many times have we gotten excited about going back
to church, or temple, or synagogue, and then we stopped? How many times have we
made a decision that, this is it; “I am finally going to go back to school, I am finally
going to take care of myself, I am finally going to...,” fill in the blank. And we started,
and we stopped. This unfocused approach to life destroys our own confidence. Going
back to confidence and integrity, this is exactly what we are talking about. In the
unfocused life, we are not walking our talk. That destroys our internal confidence.
If we really want to see another example of how unfocused many of us are, we just have
to look in our closets. Our closets are so cluttered. There was a client that I recently
worked with who had twenty-two pairs of jeans, eighteen pairs of flip-flops, thirty
jackets, and fifty purses. Now, this might seem extreme, right? But, I would like you right
now to put the book down and go into your closet and count how many pairs of shoes and
jeans and dresses that you have that you really don’t need. See that cluttering? It might be
a guy with ten fishing poles. It might be a woman with fifteen extra blankets or thirty
towels in the closet, just in case company comes. I remember once working with a
woman who on average would have fifteen bottles of shampoo and thirty rolls of toilet
paper in her house, when it was just her and her daughter who lived there. Unnecessary.
Totally unnecessary. This cluttering of our physical space continues to knock us off of
our focused path. Most of us live a very unconscious existence, and this book is saying,
“Let’s reel it in.” Here is the task to do in your home: go through your closets. Anything
that you haven’t worn for twelve months, box it up, take it out, clear it up. Do you really
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to feel joy? As I looked at this list of all of these things that I eventually had to attack, I
knew I could only do one at a time. This was the birthplace of The One Thing TheoryTM.
The very first thing I had to attack was my binge cocaine addiction. Now, I had this
addiction since college, and even though I was working with addicts and helping people
to get clean, every several months I would hide away with a several-day blast, a binge of
my addictive process with cocaine. I would be gone from society for several days. In that
process, I would be up all night. I would be trying to reach that level of “connection” that
people experience with a cocaine addiction, or any addiction for that matter, that we
believe can only be reached with an outside substance. I needed an awakening. And it
came on a Tuesday, in 1996, after the interview with Maharishi, after the connection with
this woman who was one of his colleagues. A Tuesday afternoon at 2:30 p.m.; I
remember it like it was yesterday. I had only been to sleep for about four hours, and I
awoke in so much pain from my latest binge from the several days before, and I knew
that I could not carry on like this anymore. My joy was absolutely ripped out of my life.
She was right, and Maharishi was right. On that very day, I screamed out to God for the
one thousandth time to take this addiction away. I have no idea how it happened, other
than my intense prayer, on my knees, screaming for salvation, screaming for recovery.
Something clicked at that time, an awakening and awareness. I do praise God from that
day forward, because my first “one thing” was healed.
When I realized that the awareness of the addiction was a pathway to freedom, joy and
success, I literally changed my life on that day. I also started working on changing my
philosophy with coaching my 1-on-1 clients, throwing out the pie charts and the quadrant
theory, and working on The One Thing TheoryTM. It was also in that year, 1996, that my
life coach certification program was created, where I started to certify people to become
life coaches. Out of that, “Life Coach UniverseTM” would be born, an official
organization that trains people to become coaches. In that process, just like in this book,
the anchor, the one thing that we train our coaches on to go and help others with, that
separates our life coach training certification from all other certifications in the world, is
the process of The One Thing TheoryTM. (We go into intense detail with this program in
our certification programs. Our online program, “The One Thing That Will Radically
Change Your Life Forever!TM,” which consists of three videos and a twenty-one page
manual, will take you deeper into The One Thing TheoryTM process, is available at our
website: www.davidessel.com.) When this breakthrough occurred in 1996, I knew that I
had to share this with the world, which we have been doing since then. Everything
changed in that year; everything about the way I worked 1-on-1 with my clients and the
way that I lived with my own life. As I go through my existence, I continue to knock off
my one-things, the things I have denied, delayed, or procrastinated working on in my
own life, like my various addictions. There was one time I had to really focus on
finances. There was another time that I had to really focus on my health. There was
another time that I had to focus on my codependency with others, my craving to be
accepted by everyone I met. Every time I do this, I see my life go to a whole new level,
just like it has been happening since 1996 with all of my clients. This system is so
powerful. This system will blow away your beliefs in regards to what you are capable of
achieving. I know, since it has worked for thousands upon thousands of people since we
started it, that it will work for you as well.
So, what is your one thing? We have created a list of six areas of life for you to choose
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she got to the core beliefs about worthiness of losing the weight and how to create that
pathway to success that she could sustain. Many people who don’t figure out the concept
of self-sabotage and goal setting will lose the weight and gain it back. Tracy has still kept
the eighty pounds off, and her life has radically changed.
I worked with a couple once who were trying to recover from an affair. When they came
in, of course, the one thing that they originally thought was going to be the core of their
work was who was “really” to blame. “He did this to me,” “she did that to me.” But, their
real one thing is going to be shocking to many people. When they focused on, “What was
my role in this affair?” “How did my lack of communication lead to this affair?, ”What
was it that I did that pushed my husband out of my house to have an affair with someone
else?” and, “What was I not communicating to my wife, that I held resentments about,
that led me to have the affair?” Their one thing, is called self-responsibility. When they
both found their one thing, and they both became responsible for their actions that led to
the affair, their marriage healed. Now, this is a couple I worked with four years ago, and
their marriage and their love is more solid and deeper than they had ever had in the
eighteen years of marriage prior to finding their one thing. So the one thing with this
couple, which is very difficult to admit and honestly deal with when there has been an
affair, was simple, powerful, and difficult: “What was my role in this affair, and how do I
admit it and release it?” That is what each of those people had to do in order to create the
deepest love they have ever experienced. Now, for most people, after an affair, whoever
cheated, whoever went out and had the physical contact with someone else, is who we
blame. The victim is the person who is pointing the finger. The person who actually had
sex with someone else is the one who we want to hang. It is just the bottom line, it is the
way life works, even though it doesn’t “really” work that way. In actuality, what this
couple did was very brave, strong and powerful. I have worked with many, many couples
over the past twenty-plus years that have had to come to this conclusion, that if I don’t
take my responsibility, look at, and release it, for how this relationship crumbled, I am
going to repeat the pattern, hold the resentment, and repeat it in the future. They attacked
their one thing and, obviously, the result is amazing.
Another great example of someone who went after the one thing was Angela. In ninety
days, Angela doubled her income, even though she did not have a college education. In
her case, her one thing was money, because she was making so little that it was a stressor
in every area of her life. Her one thing was increasing her income. So, we went through
all of her belief systems around money, worked through them, and then we created a plan
of attack. Her one thing was to double her income. Now, she has said to me, and I have
repeated this thousands of times to audiences I have spoken to, that she was not
convinced it was possible. Just like a lot of people I work with who don’t think that
sobriety is going to be possible because they have been drinking for so long, or don’t
think that forgiveness is going to be possible because they’ve held resentments for so
long, or who, like Angela, don’t think they are going to actually be able to double their
income. So, we worked on Angela’s beliefs, and then we got into the plan. In ninety days,
she doubled it, but it even gets better. It was ninety days, to the day, when she got the
offer that doubled her income, and wouldn’t you know it, three days later she called me
back and said, “David, I am so stressed. You are not going to believe what happened. I
got another offer at more than double my income.” Then a couple days later, well you
guessed it, she got another offer that was even higher than that. Her income continues to
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personal growth, through the various programs we offer, and have once again exceeded
their own expectations. While I love to talk about the Donald Trumps, and the Harv
Ekers, and the Michael Jordans, the Walt Disneys, and the Suze Ormans of the world, I
also want to share within this book people that are achieving exceptional levels of success
that you may never hear of, but nonetheless, they are inspirational to me today, and I
hope to you as well.
In the world of spirituality, I met a client named Lynne, who came in looking for
assistance with her marriage. When she first walked in the door, and she would admit this
to this day, her real purpose was to see if I would agree with her that, in her mind, her
husband had dropped the ball in their relationship, and it might be time for her to leave.
We worked for multiple weeks on this very topic, and by doing intense exercises that I
had given her after every session, she came to the realization that maybe it wasn’t her
husband’s fault entirely for the breakdown of their relationship, for the disintegration of
their marriage. She also found out that, if she were to apply principles that we were
talking about in the sessions in her marriage, that she might be able to resurrect it. Lynne
exceeded her own expectations by doing the most incredibly challenging work that
anyone in relationships will do, and that is to look at her role in the dysfunction. She not
only looked at her role, but she took an accountability approach to it, changed her role,
and ultimately, not only saved, but created a love and a marriage she never knew
possible.
When we worked through that, we came up to her next “one thing.” Lynne’s desire was
to become one with the divine, to become one with God, and to experience God on a
daily basis. An awesome goal; one that you can imagine offers incredible benefits in any
and every area of an individual’s life. As we went through and decided upon what
Lynne’s daily rituals would be and the practices to open her heart and to become closer to
God, we came to this “block” regarding time. Finding the time to do this was a real
challenge for her. She not only was working very deeply on her marriage, and
successfully so, but she had several children and a business she was running. She could
not find the time in her day in order to create this space to deepen her spiritual path.
Through our work together and holding her accountable, one of the exercises I gave her
was to go and block out her days, and to come back with one hour per day that she knew
she would be able to devote to her practice of spirituality. Seven days later, she comes
walking in, smiling and shaking her head, and saying, “The only time, David, that is even
possible is 5 a.m., and I don’t even know if I can do that.” As her accountability coach,
there was only one thing for me to say to her, “Let’s go.” Her eyes got really big as she
realized it was the only step she needed to take in order to bring this goal to her own
realization and to exceed her expectations. Well, we are talking five or six years later
now, and Lynne continues to get up earlier than the birds every morning, and her spiritual
path has become her foundation for her own personal success in life. And yes, her
relationship with God has deepened so greatly that she has now used this as an
opportunity as a professional master life coach to powerfully affect the lives of thousands
of people in this world today.
Lynne would be the first one to share with you right now that without an accountability
partner, whether it was me or someone else, the odds of accomplishing this goal would
not have been possible.
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The Power of Focus
Chapter 5:
How to Manifest Your Goals in a Focused Way
“You are worthy of every goal you desire.”
Now, where do we go from here? You might be thinking, right now, “What do I do to
stay focused? What type of a system can I follow? Once I find that one area of life that I
have denied, delayed, or procrastinated, once I’ve found my accountability partner, what
do I do next?” Going back once again to 1996, when I started to do all of my life
coaching in a radically different way in order to help my clients exceed their own
expectations, we created something called the 3 Keys to Manifestation. In other words,
the three keys to creating the life that you want. I am going to go through these each right
now.
The very first key, number one, is intention. Intention is a statement of affirmation. It is a
statement that says, “This is what I desire to accomplish.” Now, we do
affirmations/intentions, I use those words interchangeably, very differently. We don’t
believe in pie-in-the-sky affirmations or intentions. We don’t believe in saying, “I earn
one hundred thousand dollars a year,” if we are currently earning twenty thousand dollars
a year. The subconscious does not buy into it. It says, “You’ve got to be kidding me.
Who are you to repeat every morning that you are earning one hundred thousand dollars a
year, when you are earning twenty thousand dollars a year, and you are not doing
anything different to create this added income?” That is the way the subconscious takes
these ridiculous affirmations that we have all bought into over the years, written by some
amazing authors and well-meaning teachers, that just don’t work. So, let’s instead create
an intention, an affirmation that is exciting, that is passion-driven, and that will be
accomplished in ninety days. In other words, the subconscious can wrap its head around
that. Let’s say that we are a size twenty dress, and we want to be a size ten, and so we say
to ourselves, “On or before ninety days from today, I am now wearing a size sixteen dress
by doing the exercises necessary on a daily basis and eating a very clean diet.” Now, if
you go from a size twenty to a size sixteen, you are going to feel pretty darn good about
yourself, and that is what we want your intentions or affirmations to be based on.
These affirmations or intentions will be stated at least two times every day; in the
morning, the first thing when you wake up, and in the evening, right before you go to
bed. The key is to repeat these affirmations or intentions with emotion and see that end
result in your mind. So, if we look at sobriety, we would begin it with something like, “I
am a sober, happy, healthy person, attending events free of the need of alcohol, on or
before...,” and we would state the date. If it is a loving relationship, “I am in the process
of forgiving my husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend for events that have occurred in the
past. I am holding them in love, moving forward in our relationship every day between
now and...,” and say the date. In other words, whatever your “one thing” is, whatever
your one goal is, if it is financial, if it is forgiveness, if it is sobriety, if it is walking your
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focus our attention. Exercise is key on a daily basis in regards to focus in life.
Number Five: Energy work. Energy work can be amazing in helping people to get
highly focused in life, whether we are talking about reiki, or acupuncture, massage
therapy, or any type of BodyTalk therapy. All of these happen to be techniques that help
the mind and body to focus.
Number Six: Prayer. As many of the priests and monks and nuns have said during my
interviews with them, that the goal should be throughout the day to pray without ceasing,
to give gratitude for everything that you have throughout the day, and to pray for those in
need throughout the day. Prayer helps us become and stay focused as well.
Number Seven: Diet. This might come as a surprise to some people. What we consume
can either help us to become focused or stay scattered. First, remove all sugar sources.
That means convenient foods that are loaded with sugar. It means, of course, the
traditional sugar foods; the snacks, the cookies, the cakes, the candy bars. All of that, yes,
remove it. Sugar adds to the hyperactivity in the brain. It also can interfere with our sleep
cycles. White flour, remove. White flour is digested by the body just like sugar is. It gives
that incredible surge of energy, and then leaves us exhausted. We are trying to move
away from all substances that bring us that incredible high and then leave us flat.
Obviously, that is the exact opposite of what we are looking for. Remove all alcohol.
Even in the smallest amounts, alcohol clouds the brain. For many people, the next day,
even after having something as simple as two glasses of wine, they’re not as clear and
they’re not as focused. Many are allergic to gluten. So, you can find now gluten-free
breads and cereals in your grocery stores. Some people are allergic to soy and to milk.
Gluten, soy, and milk can actually create “brain fog,” just like sugar can, to an individual
who is trying to get highly focused in life. It is almost like we are shooting ourselves in
the foot if we don’t change our diet. We are doing all of this great energy work, this great
focus and writing work, we are getting really clear, and then throughout the day we are
consuming foods that are working in the exact opposite direction. Next, caffeine. For
many people, caffeine is one of those double-edged swords. It offers that instant hit of
focus, which is really great; but if caffeine is taken by itself, without any food, we are
going to experience the “caffeine crash,” similar to what happens after we eat sugar.
Now, what foods can we add to help us get focused in life? First, to keep our blood sugar
levels normal, eat every three to five hours. What do we eat during those periods of time?
The foods that are best to consume are those that are digested slowly, adding energy to
the body over a period of time, versus the rush that comes with simple carbohydrates,
white flour, and sugar. That would be nuts, or lean protein sources, as a main component
of our daily intake of food. Fruits and vegetables are awesome. We could look for dairy- free foods, for those people who are affected by dairy. Wheat-free foods, for those people
who are affected by wheat. Make it simple, “Go back to nature. Eat the simplest, non- processed foods.” Another important ingredient, for people who want to stay focused in
life, is to consume large amounts of water. For some people, it might be up to ten, fifteen,
or even twenty eight-ounce glasses of water a day to help them stay focused. A wonderful
book called “Your Body’s Many Cries for Water” explains what happens when we are
consuming less water on a daily basis than what we need. It takes away our focus. It
increases our fatigue.
Page 51 of 66
components in this program of focus.
1. We need to choose one goal at a time, and only one goal at a time.
2. We need to get ready to walk through any resistance or excuses that come up along the
way of accomplishing this one goal that will exceed our own expectations.
3. We need to write a daily system to stay focused on, actions steps five days per week.
4. We need to ask to be held accountable by an accountability professional or a partner on
a daily basis.
5. We need to clear our mind every morning and see with passion what you want out of
life.
6. We need to get or stay involved with courses and books in order to increase our focus
on a daily basis. At the end of this book, I will give you a list of a few resources that will
help you do just that.
Chapter Review
Take a moment right now, without going any further, to slow down and focus on what
was in important in the previous chapter. These writing exercises are the absolute gems
of this work, which when done will help you to get the most out of your time and this
book. Remember, do not trust your brain to be able to recall this life changing
information.
The act of writing allows you to delve deeper into your mind, and to focus on what was
important to you in the previous pages that is relevant to your growth at this time in your
life. As simple as these exercises are, I think the act of filling in the questions here could
be one of the most powerful steps that you can take, right now, to create the life you
desire. These questions are so powerful, that they are the same ones that I have used since
1991 in my work with clients as a Master Life Coach.
Slow down, focus, write, then act upon your answers to become who you truly want to be
in life.
1) What was covered in detail, in this chapter?
2) What was of most interest to you and why?
3) What would be 1 or 2 actions steps, relevant to the information in this chapter, that you
could take right now to help you to focus more in life? Be specific, and also put the exact
day and time that you will take these steps.
Copyright © 2012 David Essel
Page 53 of 66
on God. My family has surrounded me with the absolute love of themselves to me, and
also the absolute love of God, as we know God to be. So, I know that my focus and my
faith in life have come from my family roots, which are so amazing and so incredible.
Through all of my ups, my family has been there, and through all of my incredible
challenges, my family has been there. They have helped me to stay focused, on my path
to help others.
Maharishi Mahesh Yogi was huge in my life; from the interview that I mentioned in 1996
to today, in helping me to get focused in attacking life, just one major goal at a time.
Joe Cirulli has been a great friend of mine and a mentor since 1986. Joe has helped me
focus immensely in so many different arenas, from radically changing my body, as he
introduced me to something called the Super Slowdown Training Method, to the concept
of being able to do what you love and earn great money at the same time. During one of
my greatest trials in life, when I went through a very difficult divorce, he helped me
focus. While I was in great pain, Joe helped me focus on the beauty that I brought to this
world. He has been immense in my life in regards to focus.
Renee Bledsoe has been a friend of mine for over thirty years, a confidant, and an
accountability partner. Renee has helped me focus in so many ways. A number of years
ago, after she came and watched me do a sermon at a church, she grabbed my hand, and
said, “Sweetie, it’s time for you to have your own church.” It was one of the most
amazing experiences I have ever had in my life. As an all-faith minister, opening our
church together, could have never happened without Renee’s focus and seeing in me
something that I had never seen in myself. I had never really imagined myself being the
pastor of an all-faith church, being a minister that would freely go around and help people
to the greatest of my ability, regardless of what religious path they came from. Renee’s
belief in me, as she herself is an all-faith minister, has led me to this incredible
experience of co-founding a church to make a difference in our community. To this day,
it is one of the greatest things that I have experienced. Renee’s ability to help me focus on
my spiritual gifts led to that, which I will forever be grateful for.
John Biffar, a world acclaimed international film director, has been a friend of mine for
over thirty years. John was the producer of my first exercise video, “The Beach
Workout.” He is an individual who has helped me focus on delivery skills, both on
television and on radio. To this very day, John brings an ability to help me focus on my
gifts and my talents through his experience in front of the camera. His advice helps me
reach people at a deeper level through delivery as well as content. He is a blessing.
Harv Eker, Adam Markel, and Marleen Payne have brought to me, in their own ways, an
amazing ability to focus on money. I say that from a very proud perspective, that they
have helped me to elevate my awareness and understanding of the way money works, of
making money, of saving money, and of spending money as well, in order to have belief
systems around money that are extremely grounded and healthy. The focus I have gotten
from all three of these people has been incredible.
Caroline Ravelo. Here is a woman who believed in me so deeply that when she opened
her publishing company, she came to me and said, “I want your book, ‘Heaven On
Earth,’ to be the first book my company publishes.” Caroline, for years now, has been an
amazing source of spiritual strength and entrepreneurial strength in my life, and has
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helped me to stay focused on being able to do both, to be both spiritual and successful as
an entrepreneur.
Father Ron at the Hanley Center for addiction recovery is someone who I met when I was
in the center to recover from alcoholism. Father Ron came up to me on day three and
said, “David, if you surrender to God, if you focus solely on your walk with God, you
will never, ever, for the rest of your existence, ever have a craving for alcohol or cocaine
again.” Father Ron’s words were so prophetic that, that evening, I had an immense
spiritual awakening, and from that moment forward, regardless of how difficult life has
been, his words have rung true. If I surrender, minute by minute, day by day, my life and
will to God, I will forever be sober and happy. It is unbelievable, the effect that he had on
my life.
Ardith Bissinger has been another person with a huge spiritual effect on my life. I call her
one of my spiritual coaches. Without a doubt, she is so grounded in the love of God, that
during one of my most difficult experiences, which happened to also be during my
divorce, she helped me focus on forgiving myself and my former wife in the middle of
my deepest, darkest pain. Without Ardith, during that experience, I would have never
understood that you can go into forgiveness at the same moment that you are in deep
pain. An incredible experience.
Peggy Solomon, with Westwood One Radio. Peggy helped me when the rest of
Westwood One didn’t believe that a focused show on health and personal growth could
make it in the early nineties on nationally syndicated radio. Peggy was so focused on
what I was able to bring to the network and to bring to America’s radio airwaves, that she
helped build my faith in myself, even when other executives at the network didn’t think it
would work. Peggy was focused on my gifts and talents to the world, which made our
show a huge hit with Westwood One.
Gary Loughlin, my cousin, who has been a real estate mentor, a broker, and an agent for
thirty-plus years, in 2000 opened the doorway for me to get into business coaching in the
world of real estate by simply giving me a call and saying, “I have a client for you to
work with, a new real estate agent. I believe you can help him as he starts his career.”
When I called back and talked to Gary, I said, “I have worked with people from all
different walks of business, but never real estate. Do you think I can actually do it?” His
answer was, “Of course you can!” From 2000 to this day, I have worked with hundreds
upon hundreds of real estate agents from around the world, helping them to maximize
their potential in business. My focus in the world of real estate at one time had me
working with seventy agents a week as clients, and it all started with Gary’s belief in me
and the focus that I could make a difference in that industry.
Richard Gerson was an amazing mentor of mine, who asked me one day in 1984 what I
wanted to achieve out of life. When I told him I wanted to be recognized as one of the top
health, fitness, and personal growth experts in the world, he looked at me and said, “Then
go back to school and get your master’s degree.” It was those words, and his help to get
my master’s degree, that opened the doorway for me to be able to create the work and the
reputation that I would have never been able to do without furthering my education.
Trevor Oliver, with Premier Radio Network and XM Satellite Radio, had so much faith in
me from my work with Westwood One, that he encouraged me to join him at Premier
Page 55 of 66
Radio Network and XM Satellite Radio. He wanted me to bring my unique message to
the national audience that is deeply needed today: Our need to focus on exceeding
expectations, overcoming challenges, and creating the life that everyone desires. This
message, backed with Trevor’s excitement about my program, brought us back to
national syndication. We are making a difference in the media landscape, which is often
based on sensationalism and negativity, through our positive talk radio show.
Steve Block, one of my earlier mentors, had so much faith in me in business, that he hired
me as a spokesperson for his exercise equipment company, SPRI Products. Our focus
was based on helping aerobics instructors and personal trainers to maximize their
potential in fitness. Steve’s faith in me was so great that it opened up doorways to success
that I still benefit from today.
Carolyn will always hold a special part in my heart because of her ability to help me
focus on my sobriety. A number of years ago, during a conversation we had together, she
opened up about her life. At that time we had been dating for several months, and there
was something that she needed to talk to me about that was very scary for her to share. It
had to do with her sobriety. As she went through the story and told me everything about
her life and her work on getting sober, she said she was afraid that when she told me this
that it might end our relationship. In other words, I might not want to be with someone
who was in recovery. At that time, I was a full-blown alcoholic, a functioning alcoholic,
but an alcoholic nonetheless. My evenings consisted, from 8 p.m. on, drinking wine as I
completed my work, until I completed enough of the wine itself, where I would fall
asleep, better known as passing-out. It was during this incredibly heart wrenching
conversation with Carolyn, when my mind was triggered, and my focus finally turned to
my sobriety. At the end of this evening, when she had shared such vulnerability and such
honesty, without ever asking me to get sober, I went to bed thinking, “This is the time,
and this is the message.” The next day, waking up, the same thought was in my head: I
need to focus on my own recovery, as alcohol was interfering with every area of my life.
The very next day, I called and did the intake paperwork over the phone with the Hanley
Center for recovery in West Palm Beach, Florida. Without Carolyn’s vulnerable, open,
and loving communication about her life, I may have never taken the step to save my
own. The focus on my recovery has been rewarding ever since, and I owe that to Carolyn.
These are just a few of the many, many people who have helped me to stay focused in the
past, in the present, and who will continue to do so in the future. I share these stories with
you because, I know that, like the saying goes, “no man is an island,” and that if you want
to exceed your expectations, you are going to have to surround yourself with people who
are doing what you want to do, who are better than you, smarter than you, more inspired
than you, and most importantly, who believe in you. Take a moment right now, and as an
exercise, write down who has inspired you, who has helped you focus in the past and in
the present. Use the lines below just to write down a few of these people.
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
Page 57 of 66
The Power of Focus
Chapter 10:
Final Thoughts on The Power of Focus
”You are worthy of every goal you desire.”
I want to end this book with just a couple of thoughts to prepare ourselves for what is
ahead. If we are not prepared, it will be very easy to once again fall off the path of focus
and accomplishment, joy, success, and happiness, and back into our old way of living. As
we try this new attempt at living a highly focused life, there will be fears that will rise
into our mindset. There will be resistance. The resistance will say things like, “This may
be good for other people, this concept of focusing on one goal, but I am wonderful as a
multitasker. I am going to keep doing what I am doing.” Even though it is not giving you
the end result you want. These excuses will rise up daily. “I don’t have the time or the
money to really focus on making money,” “to really focus on finding a relationship for
my love life,” “focus on recovery,” or, “to focus on losing weight.” The excuses will go
on and on and on, and that’s why I’m bringing it up right now. I want you to understand
that all of this is normal. Saying that I don’t have the support system that someone has, or
I don’t have the education that someone has, are just excuses we use to stay safe and
comfortable, even though our safe and comfortable life is not giving us what we want.
Remember back when we talked about canceling negative thoughts? Right now, I want
you to revisit that principle, that when doubt comes up, insecurity, jealousy, resentment,
anger, rage, or excuses come up, immediately cancel those thoughts. Go back to your
focused approach to accomplishing the one major goal in your life that needs your
attention right now. As you do this, you will consistently exceed your own expectations.
There is another trap that comes into play that can also sabotage our success. We might
say, “Yeah, I’m struggling financially, but now that I’ve read this book, and there are
other books I can pick up, I’m going to figure this out on my own.” Or, “I know that
alcohol is not a healthy thing in my life, and it actually might be holding me back in my
career or my love life, but I think I’m just going to moderately drink on my own,” or,
“I’ll get sober by myself.” The list goes on and on and on. I am going to tell you to stop
the thoughts right now. We need our accountability professionals or partners to help us
make these major changes. It’s easy to fall into the trap of denial by thinking we can
make these changes, and accomplish these goals by ourselves. This is an important
statement: You have the money you have right now because you’ve done the best you
can by yourself. If you want more money, you need more help. You have the body that
you have right now by doing the best you can. If you want a better body, you need more
help. You have a relationship with God, or your higher power, that you have right now,
by doing the best you can by yourself. If you want a deeper relationship with God or your
higher power, you need someone else to help you along the way. I think you get the
picture. We need to be held accountable.
I also want you to focus on this book. It is a short book. It is a small book. Reread it every
Page 58 of 66
week. Make a decision that for the next thirty days you will read this book once a week. I
say this to you openly and honestly, not just because it’s my book that I want you to
reread, but this principle of rereading the same book for thirty straight days, once a week,
has helped me when I’m trying to integrate new changes, philosophies, and education
from other authors. Reading it once through is not going to do it. Reading it once a week
for four weeks, I promise you, will help you on your path to exceed all of your
expectations.
Next, we need to share the message of hope and success with others daily. There is a way
to exceed our own expectations in life. Use this book as an opportunity to practice new
karma by sharing it with everyone you know. Take the link and send it to your friends;
send it to your classmates, your old schoolmates, your co-workers. Send it to people that
you don’t like. Send it to people that don’t like you. In other words, get the message out.
Be the bearer of good news. Let people know through your actions that you want them to
succeed. Go back and read the chapter on karma. By helping other people, we help
ourselves, even if that isn’t our sole intention. You can help change the world by
spreading this message with every person you can think of. We are blessed to live in the
age of the Internet, where you don’t have to print this off and put it in an envelope and
mail it. A quick, simple click could send it to everyone in your database. Spread the love,
the hope, the freedom, the joy and success that comes from a system that has years of
experience behind it, validating its effectiveness.
Lastly, if you follow everything that we have written about, you will find in a short
period of time that you are totally worth this new existence, that you yourself are worthy
of exceeding your own expectations. That you yourself are worthy of a life with a
beautiful body, free of addictions, and more money than you need, money that you can
share, to give away, to help others with. You can feel worthy of experiencing deep love
with a partner, of forgiving those people in the past who have wronged you, as well as
forgiving yourself for anything you have done harmful to yourself or anyone else. In
other words, the purpose of this book is the purpose of your life. To find your life’s
purpose can be done by exceeding our own expectations. As you follow the principles
given here, I only have one wish for you: That you will experience life at such a high
level, a free level, a level where you are falling deeper in love with yourself every day.
You awake every morning and go to sleep every night knowing that the next day brings
you one more chance to make a difference in your life, as well as a difference in others’
lives. I pray that you will take the seriousness of this message into your heart and soul,
and experience what I and thousands of other people have experienced: You are worthy
of all you desire.
If I can help you in any way whatsoever, contact me via our websites,
www.davidessel.com, www.talkdavid.com, or www.lifecoachuniverse.com. I want what
you want for your life, and even more. Have an amazing day.
Chapter Review
Take a moment right now, without going any further, to slow down and focus on what
was in important in the previous chapter. These writing exercises are the absolute gems
of this work, which when done will help you to get the most out of your time and this
book. Remember, do not trust your brain to be able to recall this life changing
Page 59 of 66
information.
The act of writing allows you to delve deeper into your mind, and to focus on what was
important to you in the previous pages that is relevant to your growth at this time in your
life. As simple as these exercises are, I think the act of filling in the questions here could
be one of the most powerful steps that you can take, right now, to create the life you
desire. These questions are so powerful, that they are the same ones that I have used since
1991 in my work with clients as a Master Life Coach.
Slow down, focus, write, then act upon your answers to become who you truly want to be
in life.
1) What was covered in detail, in this chapter?
2) What was of most interest to you and why?
3) What would be 1 or 2 actions steps, relevant to the information in this chapter, that you
could take right now to help you to focus more in life? Be specific, and also put the exact
day and time that you will take these steps.
Copyright © 2012 David Essel
Page 60 of 66
The Power of Focus
"In just one month of working with David, my life has changed in ways that I never
imagined it would. My career path is clearer and my body and my health have started
improving considerably. But even more importantly, an indescribable joy has settled on
my spirit. I now have the tools to obtain true peace of mind. If you are lacking insight
and inspiration in your life, coaching with David is your answer. I have grown in
strength and quiet power, I have learned to trust in giving, to live in a state of beautiful
peace. I could rave on and on, but to put it quite simply and sincerely, calling on David
to be my life coach was the best decision I have ever made in my life."—Ailie Holland
Appendix 1:
Where do we go from here?
Focus. Now is the time to really focus on what you will do next in life. Today is the day
to take the action steps necessary to create the life you desire and deserve. Your next
move, to truly get the most out of life, will include any or all of the following:
1. Sign up today for our online course, “The One Thing TheoryTM: Find the One
Thing That Will Radically Change Your Life Forever!”
This course will help you find Find the ONE THING, that is blocking you from the
success you desire, and help you create a specific action plan to finally achieve what you
deserve in life!
Includes: (A) 2.5 hours of video instruction; (B) a 21-page manual, plus at the end of this
online course, you will also (C) work with David 1-on-1 for a 30-minute Life Coach
session. Full course only $197 at www.davidessel.com or www.theonethingtheory.com
2. Or, Sign up for our online course, “Life Mastery: How to Unlock the Secrets to Life
Long Success"
This course offers a detailed look at the master success secrets in life and how to use
them right now!
You will receive a detailed understanding of why we do what we do in life, even if it is
not working. You will delve into the basics of human behavior, the psychology of
change, and receive a road map that will show you how to let go of the past, to leap into
success, in every area of life.
Includes: (A) David’s top-selling book, “Slow Down: The Fastest Way to Get Everything
You Want” (Hay House); (B) the 3-Hour CD Series, “Slow Down”; (C) a 40-page
manual, plus (D) 6 hours of audio instruction, taking you step by step through the process
of “Life Mastery,” as well as (E) work with David 1-on-1 for two 30-minute Life Coach
sessions! Full course only $497 at www.davidessel.com.
3. Or, Get our “The Power of Focus 1-On-1 Life Coaching Package”
includes ALL OF THE ABOVE + Four (4) 1-On-1 private phone coaching sessions with