Persistent Repetition of Food
"This is getting out of hand." Subaru put down her now-empty curry container and looked around the room. By her count, Subaru had used Uber Eats for 10 meals this week, a number that was far too high for her liking. A number that was also wrong as it didn't include the trash in her bedroom. She had been so busy during all of March and so far April was going the same way. Between streaming, vocal lessons and recording lines for the anime, she simply never had time to ever cook for herself. Or clean for herself.
Or take care of myself. she thought bitterly as she squeezed a tiny amount of loose skin on her waist. She wasn't even close to pinching an inch but it was more than enough to trigger flashbacks of high school. She had only been a bit chubby back then but she had vowed that it would never happen again. Subaru clenched her fist in determination, she was going to take care of this! Well she was going to call someone else to take care of it but that was the same thing, right? A few short web searches later and Subaru found herself a combination cooking and cleaning housekeeping service offering a robust option of diet plans. She called and got set up with a woman who would be coming once a week starting tomorrow, Saturday. Safe in the knowledge that all her problems would be over in the morning, Subaru settled in for an early night.
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Subaru's alarm left her just enough time to shower and have a quick lunch before she heard a knock at the door. She gave herself a quick once over in the mirror, just because this woman was here to clean didn't mean that Subaru needed to be a mess herself. Subaru opened the door and was face to face with a somewhat elderly looking woman. Subaru guessed she was in her fifties or maybe a little older. Her hair was wrapped in a tight bun on the back of her head and starting to gray in a few places but it suited her. Wrinkles had started to form on her forehead and her cheeks had that sort of puffy look like they would be so soft to touch. A pair of deep brown eyes sat behind her purple, under-rimmed glasses. Subaru couldn't tell for sure due to the woman wearing a purple sweater and loose fitting tan pants but she guessed the woman to be slightly overweight. Overall she was the perfect vision of a soon-to-be grandmother.
"Hello, dear. You must be.... Subaru, correct?" the woman asked. The woman had barely said anything at all and already Subaru could feel the kind and caring aura exuding from her.
"Yes, that's me!" Subaru responded, extending her hand in greeting. The woman accepted her handshake with her right hand and used her left hand to gently pat the back of Subaru's. Her palms were very soft.
"You can call me Haruko. Lovely to meet you, dear." the woman introduced herself with a warm smile. Despite the kind smile and gentle motion of her hands, Subaru detected an odd look in Haruko's eyes. Almost a sort of... longing?
"Please come in." Subaru said, stepping aside from the door and gesturing inside with her arm. Haruko walked at a slow pace with a slight slump in her back. Subaru could easily imagine her being the type to spend the afternoon feeding ducks at the pond. Haruko stood at the entrance to the living room and took in her surroundings.
"What a... lovely home you have." she said. Subaru looked around at the discarded food containers and laughed nervously.
"Yeah work's been really rough lately and I just really haven't had the time to clean up." Subaru chuckled nervously again, scratching the back of her head.
"Oh, I'm sure you work very very hard, dear." Haruko replied, turning to give Subaru both a reassuring smile and hand on her arm. Subaru was a bit taken aback to be touched so readily by a woman she had just met but something was just so comforting about her that Subaru didn't complain.
"Now where is your bedroom again, Sayuri, dear?" Haruko asked.
"Uhh.. Subaru. My name is Subaru." Haruko looked confused for a moment.
"Oh yes, sorry about that, dear. You..." Haruko trailed off, she was making eye contact still but it was almost like she couldn't see Subaru at all. "Please show me around."
"My bedroom is right this way." Subaru said, directing Haruko down the hallway.
One house tour and quite a bit of getting-to-know-each-other conversation later, Subaru and Haruko stood in the kitchen.
"So what sort of food would you want for dinner?" Haruko asked.
"Oh I like all kinds of things." Subaru replied, "Hamburg steak, egg rolls, omurice, vegetable soup, fried chicken, the list goes on."
"Quite the tall order. I'll get started right away. You go get yourself settled on the couch and I'll come get you when dinner is ready." Subaru felt sort of guilty having this woman do everything for her but Subaru always did have a weakness for pampering. Subaru laid down on the couch and eagerly awaited a home cooked meal.
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"Wake up, dear, dinner is ready." Subaru is awoken by a whisper and a gentle shake from Haruko. Subaru could see the night sky through the windows.
"How long was I out for?" Subaru asked in a groggy voice.
"Oh, you've been asleep for quite a while but you were snoring so cutely that I just couldn't bear the thought of waking you." Haruko spoke softly, gently squeezing Subaru's cheek. She took both of Subaru's hands.
"Up we go, dear." Haruko helped Subaru to her feet.
Subaru entered the kitchen and was amazed at what she saw. A veritable feast was laid out before her. There was hardly any empty surface left in the entire kitchen, the table and every countertop completely covered in delectable delights.
"Oh my god!" Subaru exclaimed. "This is so much!"
"I made everything you asked for, dear." Haruko replied, pulling out a chair for Subaru.
"Oh, when you asked what I wanted I thought you meant for the whole week." Subaru said as she took her seat. Haruko chuckled.
"Simple misunderstanding, dear. Well that's alright. You just eat what you can and I'll pack all the leftovers in the fridge for future meals." Haruko gently squeezed Subaru's shoulder and started to leave the room.
"Aren't you eating anything?" Subaru asked, feeling guilty again.
"Oh no, dear, it's all for you. I know you always have such a big appetite." Haruko chuckled again as she left to start cleaning the rest of the house.
Always?! Subaru couldn't believe she would say something so rude having only known her for just one day. But she is so kind. I must have just misheard her. Subaru thought to herself as she dug in.
The food was fantastic. Every bite was an explosion of bliss in her mouth. Haruko really did make everything Subaru had listed and Subaru was making sure to sample them all. Subaru had hardly made a dent in the grand feast before she was already feeling full. After a few more greedy bites she pushed her chair back, sighing in complete satisfaction. Haruko entered the kitchen a few moments later.
"Did you get enough to eat, dear?" Haruko asked, looking at the still mostly full table with concern.
"Yes, plenty." Subaru replied with a pat to her stomach. "The food was fantastic!"
"Glad to hear it, dear." Haruko flashed her warm smile as she gently squeezed Subaru's shoulder. "Now you go make yourself comfortable and I'll get everything prepared for the week."
"Okay. Thank you for dinner." Subaru replied sleepily as she got up to make her exit. Somehow she didn't feel guilty letting Haruko get to work this time but what Subaru did feel was full, almost uncomfortably so, and sleepy.
"That nap must have really screwed me up." Subaru thought to herself as she looked around the living room. The place was spotless, everything was so perfectly and orderly Subaru almost didn't want to walk in any farther for fear of disturbing the room. It was the same story for the rest of the house. The hallway, her bedroom, even the inside of the medicine cabinet in the bathroom was perfectly clean. Subaru was amazed, Haruko worked deceptively fast despite her age. Subaru returned to the living room, more than content with her inspection.
"You did an amazing job!" Subaru called out to Haruko.
"What was that, dear?" Forgoing the rudeness of yelling any further, Subaru went to the kitchen to repeat herself.
"I said you did a grea..." Subaru failed to finish her sentence as she looked around the kitchen in surprise. She had hardly been gone any time at all and yet Haruko had already packed away almost the entirety of the food into nice, pre-portioned meals. Generously portioned.
"Oh, you must still be hungry dear, here." Haruko handed her a fried chicken breast.
"Thanks, mo- Miss Haruko." Subaru had almost called Haruko 'mom.' How embarrassing that would have been! Despite her fullness from dinner, Subaru felt strangely compelled to eat the chicken anyway. She took a few bites before speaking again.
"These are some pretty big meals. This is really a diet plan?"
"Yes, of course. Each plate has everything a growing girl needs." Haruko smiled.
"Growing? I'm twenty two." Subaru was slightly embarrassed to admit her age. Needing help like this at her age? The familiar guilt returned.
"Of course, dear." Haruko finished putting away the last of the food. "Everything should be just right to last you until I come back next Saturday, okay?"
"Alright. Thanks again, Miss Haruko." Subaru said as she walked Haruko to the door.
"Please, no need to be so formal. Just Haruko is fine. Good night, dear."
"Good night!"
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Subaru ended her stream and rubbed her hands together in delight. Finally it was time for lunch! Even though the food was four days old now it still tasted just as good as the first night. Subaru couldn't believe the meals could be so big and yet still be part of a healthy diet plan. Haruko was amazing! As Subaru watched the plate spinning around and around in the microwave she was already dreaming of what she would ask Haruko to make for next week. Subaru felt a twinge of guilt as she looked at the dishes piling up in the sink. She didn't plan on it getting so out of hand but eating one of Haruko's giant meals always made her so sleepy afterwards. She almost drifted off during her vocal lessons yesterday. Haruko won't mind having a few extra dishes to clean, right? Subaru was paying her to clean after all.
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Saturday was here again and Subaru was in a rush. She slept through her alarm and woke up very late as a result. She had eaten the last of Haruko's meals as fast as she could, what a waste!, and took a quick shower but hit a snag when she returned to her bedroom. Her signature tight short shorts wouldn't button. "I knew I should have just let Haruko handle the laundry too." Subaru groaned and laid down flat on her bed, pulling as hard as she could. She didn't have time for this, Haruko was set to be here any minute! Subaru gave up and tossed the shorts on the floor, opting for a longer, loose fitting drawstring pair from her closet. Pulling the shorts over her soft charm point, she just pulled the string tight when she heard Haruko knocking on the door and rushed out to the living room to greet her.
"Good afternoon, Miss Haruko."
"Oh my goodness, dear, what's happened? Are you alright?" Haruko looked shocked and concerned as she put a hand on Subaru's shoulder.
"What? Nothing happened, Miss Haruko, I'm fine." What was she talking about? Subaru was about to question further when she caught sight of her shadow being cast on the porch. Her hair was a mess! She was in such a rush that she didn't even look in the mirror before opening the door.
"Are you sure? Your face is all red." Haruko put the back of her hand to Subaru's forehead.
She must think I have a fever. This is so embarrassing! How could I have been so foolish? Subaru thought to herself, internally cringing.
"Oh, no, I'm okay. I think I screwed up some of my laundry and I couldn't get a pair of shorts to button." Subaru almost couldn't believe she admitted it so easily. There was just something so comforting about Haruko caring for her.
"Well that's no good, dear. A hardworking girl like you always needs to look her best. Bring me the pants and I'll have them fixed in a jiffy." Haruko said confidently as she came inside.
"You can fix shrunken clothes too? That's amazing! I'll go get them." Subaru quickly retrieved the pants from her bedroom floor and returned to see Haruko had already pulled a sewing kit out of her bag. Was there anything Haruko couldn't do?
"It's always best to be prepared. Now let me see here." Haruko said, taking the pants from Subaru and examining them closely. "Yes, I can fix this no problem at all, you just leave it to me. Tell me about your week, dear."
Haruko got to work letting out the back seam of the shorts while Subaru told her all about her week. Subaru gushed about Haruko's food and told her about some funny comments she saw her fans make on twitter. Haruko didn't know what a 'streamer' was so Subaru had to spend a while explaining it. It was so relaxing talking to Haruko while watching her well-practiced hands work.
"That should do it." Haruko said, holding up the shorts. "Try them on, dear."
"Thank you, Miss Haruko. I'll go put them on right now." Subaru bowed her head quickly before turning to head to her bedroom.
"It's alright, dear, you can change here, it's nothing I haven't seen before. And I told you, all these formalities simply won't do." Subaru was taken aback by Haruko's forwardness but her warm smile felt so reassuring. Still Subaru could feel her cheeks blushing as she undid the drawstring on her shorts. Sensing Subaru's nervousness, Haruko gave her the courtesy of putting her sewing kit away and pretending to look for something else in her bag while Subaru quickly changed.
"They fit perfectly! You are amazing Mi- Haruko!"
"It's nothing any woman my age worth her salt wouldn't know how to do. How about I handle your laundry from now on and we will avoid any accidents like this. Sound good?"
"That would be great, thank you." Subaru was starting to feel a bit helpless needing Haruko to do all these things for her. What was next? Needing Haruko to wash her in the shower too? Haruko interrupted her guilt ridden inner-monologue.
"Now, what would you like for your dinners this week?"
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Subaru felt Haruko's hand on her cheek as she opened her eyes. Had she really fallen asleep waiting for dinner again? Haruko held out her hands for Subaru to take but this time she refused. She may be paying Haruko to cook and clean for her but needing help to get off the couch was too much for her pride to bear. Getting off the couch under her own power, Subaru rubbed the sleep from her eyes as she entered the kitchen. There was no misunderstanding this time and Haruko had already started pre-plating the excess food for the week. There was also another plate on the table in front of her chair but this plate she didn't recognize, it was a fair bit larger than the matching plate sets she had bought.
"Ah, isn't this plate lovely? You used to love the dinosaurs on it when you were little." When she was little? Had they talked about that? Subaru couldn't remember mentioning her childhood but Haruko had already moved on to talking about the various recipes she had used this week before Subaru had the chance to question it.
"Well go on, dear, have a bite. Tell me what you think." Haruko was looking at Subaru rather expectantly, not that Subaru needed any excuse to eat more of Haruko's amazing food.
"Mmmm." To avoid talking with her mouth full, Subaru made an 'okay' symbol with her hand to show her approval.
"Since you were still a bit hungry after I made dinner last time, I made sure to have more food for you this time."
"That's alright, Haruko. This is more than enough." Subaru said in between bites.
"Oh, don't be silly, dear. You deserve some good food after all your hard work this week. I should start bringing ingredients for making desserts as well." Despite Haruko's meals regularly leaving Subaru full to the brim, she had to admit she was interested in the prospect of dessert.
"But we will worry about that later, right now I have some more cleaning to do. Make sure you clean your plate, dear." Haruko stopped to pat Subaru's shoulder as she made her way out of the kitchen.
"Okay, mama." Subaru replied. It only took a moment to realize her mistake. "S-sorry I-"
"It's alright, dear," Haruko chuckled, "you can call me mom if you like. I'm glad you feel so comfortable." Haruko's smile always made Subaru feel so warm inside. Subaru tucked back into her food to hide her embarrassed face and Haruko went about cleaning.
The food was absolutely fantastic, somehow even better than last week's, but despite the amazing flavor, Subaru was flagging. She wanted to finish everything but she was just too full. Subaru was pushing her chair back to stand up just as Haruko reentered the kitchen.
"Oh, almost done? Did you like everything?" Haruko asked, glancing from the plate back to Subaru.
"Yes, everything was wonderful. I'm just full." Subaru answered, patting her stomach for emphasis.
"Nonsense, dear. Good girls clean their plates." Good girls?! What was Haruko saying? Subaru wouldn't get the chance to ask as her opening mouth was immediately filled.
"There we go, just a few more bites." Haruko had taken Subaru's fork and was now using it to feed Subaru personally. Subaru swallowed the mouthful in shock and opened her mouth to protest only to find it filled again. Subaru's instinct was to push Haruko away but Haruko was old, Subaru couldn't just fight an old woman. And besides, Haruko had said some things that made Subaru think that maybe Haruko wasn't exactly 'all there.' Left with seemingly no better option, Subaru surrendered to being fed.
"See? Not so full after all, right?" Haruko asked as she fed Subaru the last little bit from the plate. No, Subaru was definitely full but she would be lying if she said she didn't enjoy these extra bites when given this excuse.
"There we go, dear." Haruko said, taking the plate away, "A growing girl can't be going to bed without a nice full stomach." Subaru was still at a loss for words from what just happened. How could Haruko think it was okay to just do that to someone she hardly knows? And worse, why had she just let it happen?
"I laid some pajamas out for you on your bed so you can get to sleep and I'll finish cleaning the dishes and lock up behind me. Okay, dear?"
"O-okay, Haruko. Uhh, thank you..." Subaru walked to her bedroom as if in a dream. Had that really even just happened? Despite all these emotions, Subaru still found herself putting on her pajamas just as Haruko told her to. As she laid in bed Subaru thought that maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. Maybe I should call tomorrow and cancel the service. Subaru weighed her options, Haruko is such a nice old woman though. I would hate to see her lose her job over this. Subaru was truly at a loss, and to make matters worse she couldn't even ask for advice. She would simply die of embarrassment if she told any of the other girls about this. Subaru somehow managed to find sleep in this emotional storm.
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"What the hell?" Subaru stood naked with her hair dripping in front of her closet. The reason for her bewilderment was the contents of said closet, or rather the lack thereof. Subaru's closet was empty. With the exception of four outfits, every single item of clothing Subaru owned was gone. Haruko! Of course, Subaru had told Haruko to take care of her laundry too.
Guess I won't be canceling this week. Subaru grumbled. What was she supposed to do with just four outfits? That wasn't even enough for the whole week. Subaru's stomach growled. Well, nothing to be done about it now I guess. Subaru got dressed and resigned herself to a week of having to be extra careful not to spill anything. Maybe chat won't notice if I wear the same shirt twice?
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It was bright and early Wednesday morning and Subaru was streaming.
'Same shirt'
'Seems familiar'
'Prerecorded? wwww'
Chat had certainly noticed Subaru was wearing the same outfit. Subaru decided to take the laundry issue in stride and frame it as a funny story for her stream. She was right in the middle of telling it when she heard a knock on the door.
"Just a minute, sorry about this." Subaru muted her mic and went to go see who was at the door. Much to her surprise, she opened the door to find Haruko standing on her porch with several bags.
"Haruko..? It isn't Saturday."
"Of course not, dear. I brought your laundry." Haruko replied, gesturing to the bags.
"Oh thank you. Umm, listen we should talk but I'm right in the middle of a stream so if you could..."
"No problem, dear, you won't even notice I'm here." Haruko said as she walked straight past Subaru and into the house. So much for trying to hint. Haruko put the bags on the floor in the living room and proceeded to pull out each article of clothing and fold them one at a time on the couch. Subaru didn't have time to protest and returned to her bedroom.
"Sorry about that. It was just Haruko coming over with my laundry." Subaru explained to chat.
'Duck mom?'
'Haruko debut?'
'Is she single?'
Chat was immediately flooded with messages about Haruko.
"Ooooommmaaaaeeee! Don't try to flirt with my diet coach!" Subaru refused to indulge them any further and moved on with her stream. Some minutes later, viewers heard Subaru's door open just before she quickly muted and leaned off screen. Subaru reappeared a few seconds later holding a plate. Subaru unmuted her mic.
"Haruko brought me cake." Subaru said, showing the large piece of cake to chat.
'Cake for breakfast?'
'Diet coach? www'
'Shuba...'
Whereas Subaru was previously frustrated with Haruko, she was quickly changing her mind as she took her first bite. It was the best cake she had ever tasted! Subaru savored each bite for as long as she could as she continued her stream.
As the stream, and more regrettably her cake, came to an end, Subaru clicked to end her stream and went to the living room to talk to Haruko.
"Haruko?" Subaru found a few stacks of her freshly folded laundry but Haruko was nowhere to be seen. Subaru walked into the kitchen. Haruko wasn't in here either but what was here was the rest of the cake as well as a note in front of it. 'For all your hard work. See you on Saturday.' the note read. That was so sweet of her! Subaru couldn't be mad at Haruko after this, everything was just a misunderstanding. Between her breakfast and the large piece of cake she had just eaten she should be full but Subaru could feel her tummy rumbling all the same. Well... Just one more piece wouldn't hurt right? She had been sticking to her diet perfectly for the last week and a half. And she worked so hard after all, just like Haruko said. Subaru cut herself another piece of cake and started eating it as she walked back into the living room. She should have just enough time to put her clothes away before she had to leave for her singing lessons. She put away all her clothes and was just about to close the closet door when she noticed something peculiar. There was a small scratch on the left side of the back wall. When did that get there? Come to think of it, Subaru couldn't even recall what the wall looked like before at all. Didn't her closet used to have more clothes in it?
I must be really tired today. Subaru thought to herself. Maybe I should reschedule my lessons and get some sleep instead.
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Saturday had come again and so had Haruko. Subaru was sitting with her in the living room and telling her about her week.
"And this diet is going great! All my clothes even feel loose now." Subaru was very proud of herself. It was her duty to be the emblem of physical fitness for Hololive and in just two weeks Subaru was already back in peak condition. Losing weight was easy, or at least that is what she had tried to tell Okayu. Okayu was looking a bit... pudgy when Subaru saw her the other day and Subaru was only trying to help! She didn't mean to make Okayu upset. Subaru suspected that Okayu had probably already been in a bad mood anyway because she stopped making sense near the end of their short conversation.
"'You should really try looking in a mirror yourself before you go around being mean to other people.' What did she even mean by that?"
"Oh, dear. Weight can be a very sensitive topic for some girls. You really have to be careful and caring when talking about something like that. You probably really hurt her feelings."
"I didn't mean to hurt her feelings, honestly. I really just wanted to help her." Subaru said, looking dejected. Haruko took Subaru's hand in hers.
"Don't beat yourself up over it, dear. No amount of worrying can change the past. You will just have to apologize and hope she accepts it." Haruko said in a gentle tone while patting the back of Subaru's hand.
"I guess you're right..."
"I think I have something that will cheer you right up." Haruko said with her signature smile.
"Oh? What is it?"
"Why don't we go in the kitchen and find out, dear." Subaru sprang to her feet, she didn't even bother to wait for Haruko before going into the kitchen.
"You made me cupcakes? They even have little ducks on them, that's so cute!" Subaru exclaimed, hugging Haruko when she finally made it to the kitchen. The hug was already over before Subaru really even processed what she had done. Hugging Haruko just felt so natural at that moment.
"I'm glad you like them, dear..." Haruko replied. She seemed like she had more to say but decided against it. She looked sad.
"What's wrong?" Subaru asked, her happiness immediately replaced with concern for Haruko.
"...Oh it's.. It's nothing, dear, don't worry yourself about it." Haruko flashed her smile but that familiar warmth wasn't in it. It seemed so hollow. It almost made Subaru want to cry.
"Are you sure? You can tell me, you know." Subaru tried to coax her.
"Yes, I'm perfectly alright. Well," Haruko sighed as she put her hand on Subaru's shoulder, "I suppose this is goodbye then."
"What? Aren't you going to be cooking?" Subaru looked around the kitchen, confused.
"Well no, dear. You wanted your diet back on track and now it is. You don't need me anymore."
"No!" Subaru's yell even surprised herself. "I mean, no, of course this isn't goodbye! I love having you around!" Love? Not romantically, of course, but in the way that a child loves her mother. Did she really mean to say that? Was that really what she felt? Sure Haruko's cooking and cleaning were great but…
"Oh, no, I would hate to impose."
"No it's not imposing at all! I wouldn't have it any other way!"
"Alright, alright, calm down, dear." There was that warm smile Subaru wanted. "What would you like for dinner?"
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"That's so rude! How could you say that to her?!" Korone angrily growled at Subaru.
"And what gives you the right to try to police other people anyway?" Botan demanded.
"So what if Okayu is a little on the heavier side, that doesn't make you better than her!" Marine yelled, shoving the tip of her finger into Subaru's chest.
The four of them and a few of the other girls all had vocal practice on the same day and Subaru found herself pinned against the wall in the hallway outside of the sound room by the three angry girls. Subaru's 'helpful' comments had really hurt Okayu's feelings and now Subaru was going to pay the price for it.
"I didn't mean to hurt her feelings, I was just trying to-" Subaru barely had any time to speak at all with the three of them yelling at her.
"It doesn't matter what you were trying to do! What you did do was make Okayu call me while she was nearly in tears, you jerk!" Korone looked like she was ready to start swinging. Subaru saw Mio coming down the hall and called out to her.
"Mio-sha, help me!" Mio came over to break up the fight and asked what was going on. Korone quickly, and angrily, explained the situation.
"That's very rude, Subaru. You should really know better than that." Mio scolded her with an authoritative tone. "Especially since you've... well..." Mio lowered her voice to a whisper, "You've been getting a little heavy." Mio said, putting her hand on Subaru's stomach.
"What? No I haven't, I'm on a di..." Subaru couldn't finish her sentence as she looked down at Mio's hand on her belly. HER BELLY?! Subaru grabbed a whole handful of fat on her gut and shook it in disbelief.
"No.. no this can't be happening. I'm thin! I haven't been fat since highschool! I'm thin!" Subaru was almost screaming in sheer terror.
"What are you talking about? We're at school right now." Mio said.
"What..?"
"I can't believe you have the nerve to try to bully Okayu when you can barely fit in the desks." Marine yelled, pointing back at one of the desks behind her.
"And you are getting chalk all over your uniform. You know they had to have that custom tailored for your size." Botan sneered. Subaru had been so scared of Korone that she had backed all the way against the chalkboard.
"Chalkboard? But I'm not in..." Subaru could feel all the fat weighing down her body. Feel the soreness between her thighs where they had been rubbing together all day. Feel the harsh agitation on her belly where the too tight waistband of her skirt dug in when she sat down. Feel the cool air where her skirt failed to contain all of her giant ass. Subaru was so confused and getting very scared. What was happening?! Looking around for any sign of sense or means of escape, Subaru caught sight of Haruko. Haruko?
"M-Mama help!" Subaru cried. Haruko whipped her head around to stare right into Subaru's eyes. Her mouth started to move but Subaru couldn't hear what she was saying.
"..ak..p"
"Wa.....ru"
"Wake up"
"I said wake up, dear. Dinner's ready."
"I'm thin!" Subaru yelled as she bolted straight up on the couch, waking up in panic. Her breathing was heavy as her eyes darted around the room.
"What? Were you having a bad dream?" Haruko was bent down right next to Subaru, the concern on her face just barely visible in the dim light of the night sky through the windows.
"Just a bad..." Subaru sighed in relief. Thank god! "Yes, I was just having a nightmare."
"Oh, dear. Well I'm sure an extra cupcake with dinner will cheer you right up." Haruko said, standing back up and holding her hands out. Subaru eagerly accepted them.
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Tuesday morning found Subaru at her kitchen table sitting in front of both her empty breakfast plate and the now empty tray of cupcakes. She hadn't meant to eat them all so soon but they were just so good. She deserved them for all her hard work anyway. She streamed for a whole extra hour yesterday, that's a long time! And she had to spend the whole first part of the stream dealing with trolls trying to convince her that her face "looked puffy." What does that even mean? Subaru saw her face in the mirror every single morning and she looked exactly the same. Ridiculous. It's no wonder she would want to seek comfort in some cupcakes. Reward. She wanted a reward in the cupcakes. She didn't need comfort because what the trolls said wasn't true. But her cupcakes were gone, now what was she going to do? Subaru was startled by a knock at the door. She hadn't showered yet so she quickly tried to straighten her hair with her fingers on her way to the door. She opened it and was surprised to see Haruko with her laundry.
"H-haruko? It isn't Wednesday." Subaru said in confusion.
"Oh yes, I know, dear but I thought I should bring your laundry back early." She replied, walking past Subaru and heading to the living room. She put the laundry bags down on the couch and went into the kitchen followed by Subaru.
"Ah, just as I thought. I had a suspicion that those cupcakes would be gone sooner rather than later." Haruko said. There was a sort of pride in her smile. Unfortunately for Subaru, her own nervous smile only contained embarrassment.
"Oh, yeah... They were really good so..." Subaru trailed off as she scratched the back of her head.
"Well don't worry, dear. I can whip up a new batch faster than a dog with a bone."
"I have to stream in just a few minutes so if you coul-"
"Don't worry, you won't even know I'm here." Haruko said resolutely. It seemed Subaru had no chance of getting her to take 'no' for an answer so Subaru wasted no time trying to argue any further. She had a shower to take.
As Subaru scrubbed her body in the shower she was lost in thought. Okayu hadn't said anything back to her apology message and that nightmare from the other day was really sticking with her. It was horrible! Thank god I'm not actually that fat. She thought to herself as she lathered up her belly. Sure she could pinch two or three inches but that just meant her hard work was paying off. She was much bigger than this when she started, right? Subaru couldn't really remember but her clothes were looser now so it must be working. Subaru's pride and joy in her continued success quickly changed to terror as the bathroom door opened.
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" Subaru screamed, covering herself with her arms. Sure you couldn't really see much through the shower curtain but it was still translucent. Just translucent enough for Subaru to make out that her bathroom invader was Haruko.
"Sorry to startle you, dear. Just bringing in some towels."
"That couldn't wait?!"
"It's alright, you don't have anything I haven't seen before." Haruko laughed as she left again.
With her shower done, Subaru wrapped herself in a towel and took a quick look in her bedroom just to make sure Haruko wasn't in there before entering. She closed her bedroom door and let her towel drop to the floor as she went to her closet to retrieve today's outfit. She was going to wear her classic gray button down crop top and jean shorts. Jean shorts? That didn't sound right. They were with her white belt and suspenders so they must be the right shorts. Speaking of her suspenders, Subaru noticed they felt tight when pulled over her breasts. Maybe a little bit of this extra weight isn't so bad. Subaru said to herself as she experimentally cupped and lifted. Let's see them complain about my face now.
Subaru started her stream and after her greetings she gave chat a warning. If she had to deal with trolls again then she would have to put the chat in members only mode.
'Don't listen to them, Subaru!'
'You're still beautiful this way!'
'I love debu duck!'
Chat was filled with messages of... encouragement? Subaru couldn't tell. They still sounded like bullying. Subaru was so distracted with chat's strange messages that she didn't even notice Haruko entered the room until she started talking.
"I made you breakfast, dear." Haruko said sweetly, handing Subaru a large plate of eggs and sausages. Subaru was so caught off guard she forgot to mute her mic.
"Oh, thank you but I already ate." Subaru tried to pass the plate back but Haruko wouldn't have it.
"You can never have too much breakfast. It's the most important meal of the day, you know." The food did smell really good and Haruko made it just for her... It would be fine, Haruko was a diet coach, she would know best.
"Thank you, Mama" Subaru said, putting the plate down in front of her as Haruko left the room.
'Mama? wwww'
'Mommy?'
'Sausage Legend is supposed to just be a video game wwww'
'I want to touch Haruko's hands!'
Chat was moving so fast that Subaru couldn't read the messages whether they were from trolls or not. Not that she was really looking at chat with her head tucked down to eat her second plate of breakfast.
=====================================================================
The next morning was Wednesday but since Haruko had just come over yesterday, Subaru had nothing to do before her stream. Subaru felt like it would be a good idea to go for a run, she hadn't gone in quite a while now and while her diet was going great, some exercise would help speed up the process.
"I've still got a ways to go." Subaru said to herself as she stood naked in front of her bedroom mirror. Her belly was looking more than a little poochy, forming a roll over her waist below her belly button even without pants on. Her normally moderately sized, perky breasts were swollen and starting to sag, flattening out a little on the bottom where they hung down onto her belly. Her thighs were touching at the top, her inner thighs pocked with weird markings. Was that cellulite?! Subaru panicked as she spun around. Subaru was mortified to find even more cellulite on the back of her thighs as well. And her ass! Her butt was soft before but now it was positively plump. How had she even been managing to pack this thing in her shorts? It was huge! She couldn't cover one cheek even if she used both hands! She must have looked like an absolute whale before! Why didn't anybody tell her?!
This is awful, I have to go running right now! Subaru threw open her closet to get her gym uniform. She couldn't find it. What the hell? She always had it hanging right here at the end of the rack. She looked around on the floor and sifted through her outfits but couldn't find it anywhere. She went out to the living room to see if maybe it got left out there by mistake. She was rummaging around the room when she heard a knock on the door.
"Just a minute!" Subaru yelled and quickly went back to her room to grab clothes. She returned and opened the door.
"Good morning, dear. Are you alright?" Haruko asked, her signature warm smile on full display.
"Yes, I'm fine I was just... What are you doing here? You already brought my laundry yesterday."
"That's true but today is Wednesday so I'm here as scheduled."
"But you are only scheduled for Saturday...?"
"Oh, don't you remember, dear? Just the other day you scheduled me for two days a week. Are you sure you're alright?" Haruko put the back of her hand against Subaru's forehead. To be honest, Subaru didn't remember that at all but Haruko was here so it must be true. I really need to get more sleep. Subaru thought to herself.
"Oh right, I must have forgotten. Come on in." Haruko made her way into the living room and sat down on the couch, patting the cushion next to her.
"Come sit down and tell 'mama' all about your week." Haruko chuckled as she called herself 'mama,' seeming quite pleased with Subaru's slip-up turning into a term of endearment.
"Well actually I was just about to go for a run so could that wait for a while? Speaking of that, I can't find my gym uniform anywhere. It's a white top with red bottoms, like a school P.E. uniform? You must have seen them when you washed all my clothes the other week."
"A run? You girls are so crazy these days. When I was your age I hardly ever left the kitchen. All my brothers and my dad would be scrounging around for food all day long. They would have starved without me and momma. You know how hungry your uncle Isamu gets." Haruko slapped her thigh and laughed as she seemed temporarily lost in her memories. Of course, Subaru didn't know anyone named Isamu at all let alone an uncle but these strange false memories Haruko had of Subaru seemed to make her happy so Subaru wouldn't interfere. It wasn't doing any harm.
"Have I ever told you about the time your grandad took me and Isamu out on the boat with him? Oh you should have seen his face when he got told how to bait a line." Haruko was already laughing heartily again. I guess my run can wait til after stream. Subaru thought to herself.
"No you haven't. Go ahead, Haruko." Subaru replied, sitting down with her.
=====================================================================
"So then he says to her, he says 'Baby, if that's a cat then I'm a lawnmower.' Can you believe that?!" Haruko was roaring with laughter. Subaru laughed out of politeness, she didn't really get the point of the story. Honestly she was finding it hard to concentrate but there was just something so relaxing about listening to Haruko talk, it was like ASMR. Haruko had been babbling on and on for hours and Subaru was getting hungry. She hadn't eaten lunch yet and her stream was set to start soon. Rather embarrassingly for Subaru, Haruko was also now aware of just how hungry she was as her stomach audibly growled.
"Oh my, sounds like you've worked up quite an appetite. I'll heat up a little something for you quickly to hold you over while I make lunch."
"Okay, I'm going to go get set up for my stream." Subaru set off for her bedroom immediately, she definitely didn't want to get caught in another hour long story.
Subaru had put her stream outfit on and just finished getting everything in order when Haruko came in with food. It turned out 'a little something' was one of her entire pre-made meals. Subaru didn't have time to protest as stream was just about to start and she figured it probably wouldn't get her anywhere even if she did. Subaru took the plate and waited for Haruko to exit before starting stream.
"I hope you don't mind if I eat during stream today. I haven't had lunch yet." Subaru told her chat as she took the first bite.
'Today? www'
'Subaru's eating sounds...'
'God I wish that was me'
"You guys are always so weird lately." Subaru burst out laughing at some of the more outlandish comments. Subaru continued her stream just talking as she ate her lunch.
"So, guys, I wanted to ask," Subaru paused to take the last bite of her meal, "what is an "ARR-CHI-TEKTO? I always see the overseas fans saying this. ARR-KEY-TEK te nani?"
'SHE SAID IT!'
'OH NO!'
'English joke'
'Yeah, me'
All these comments and more raced up the screen as her chat practically exploded in a sea of english comments. Subaru started to get a little worried, normally the overseas viewers only acted like this when she said something really bad. Subaru could already picture it, her clip was going to have a million views just like when Miko…
It was like a wave of calm washed over her as soon as Haruko opened the door. Something about seeing the old woman with a plate of food in her hand was just so soothing.
"Here's your lunch, dear." Subaru reached up and accepted the plate eagerly. That last plate just didn't quite fill her up.
'Mama!'
'Lunch? What was before?'
'I don't think they understand second breakfast'
'Soft arms...'
"I know I'm supposed to be *mmm* playing more Yakuza today but *mmph* I'm just so hungry."
=====================================================================
Stream was over and Subaru was well and truly stuffed. Having eaten two entire lunches, she could hardly get up from her chair. Subaru held her overfull belly and groaned in pain. Why had she eaten so much?
"This can't *hah* possibly be good *urrp* for my diet..." Her desk creaked as she used it to support essentially her entire weight to get up. Subaru took her plate and started a slow walk out to the kitchen. She rounded the corner and entered the kitchen to find Haruko hard at work cooking dinner.
"Sorry, dear. Dinner isn't ready just yet. Do you need a snack?" Haruko took Subaru's plate and started to walk to the refrigerator.
"Oh, no, Haruko I," Subaru paused to stifle a burp, "I couldn't eat another bite."
"You couldn't? But I already have dinner started. It's going to be ready in just a few minutes." Haruko said, looking disappointed.
"Thank you, I really appreciate it but *hah* I'll eat it later." Subaru was still holding her belly, it really hurt. That wasn't the only thing in the room that was hurt, however. Subaru had never seen Haruko frown before.
"Now I hope that was a joke, young lady." Haruko said sternly.
"No, really, Mama, I'm full." Subaru hoped calling her 'mama' would make her smile again. It did not.
"You come over here this instant, Sayuri." Haruko demanded. Her voice was cold as she pointed to the floor in front of her. Another one of her weird flashbacks, Subaru thought to herself, Might as well get this over with. Subaru walked over and stood in front of Haruko as instructed.
"Put your hands right here." Haruko said, patting the counter top. Subaru did as she was told, the distance forcing her to bend over the counter a bit. Subaru could hear rustling in a drawer behind her before Haruko returned to stand right behind her.
"I hope you know this hurts me too." Haruko's voice sounded sad as Subaru felt herself get spanked by a wooden spoon. The surprise of both the suddenness and the force of the hit caused Subaru to jump and let out another burp.
"You know I hate doing this to you, Sayuri, but it's the only way you'll learn." Haruko said as she spanked Subaru with the spoon again.
"H-haruko what are you doing?!" Subaru yelled.
"Don't you ever call your mother by her name." The anger returned to Haruko's voice as she gave Subaru a third and forth spank. Subaru didn't know what to do. This was all so sudden and confusing. She tried to placate Haruko's delusions.
"I'm sorry, Mama! I'll eat!" Subaru braced for another spank, Haruko was capable of a surprising amount of force given her age.
"That's better. Now you go sit down there at the table and I better not hear another peep."
"Yes, Mama." Subaru sat down and stared at the place mat. What was going on here? She couldn't believe it. She hadn't gotten spanked since she was a child and even then hardly ever. What could she do? Call the service and tell them Haruko spanked her with a spoon like a six year old? They would never believe it. Maybe it's best to just ride this out. Wait until Haruko goes back to normal and then try to have a talk with her. Haruko put a large bowl of soup in front of Subaru.
"And that bowl better be empty when I come back." Haruko said forcefully as she left the kitchen.
"At least it's vegetables..." Subaru thought as she slowly began to eat. The soup was delicious on her tongue but every swallow brought only pain. The soup was quickly pouring into her stuffed gut, taking up every last bit of space and making the pain worse. Subaru felt like she would keel over whenever she took a particularly hardy spoonful.
It seemed like it had been ages but Subaru's enforced stuffing was over. She couldn't move, she could only sit back in her chair and only her painfully gorged gut and moan. "Why *oooo* why did I *urp* do this?" Subaru closed her eyes. She was woozy and nauseous, every shallow breath was a fight to stay awake. She felt a hand on her back and opened her eyes to see Haruko's smiling face looking down at her.
"There we go, good job, dear. I knew you wanted to grow up strong!" Haruko said warmly. Haruko pat Subaru's back forcing her to burp again.
"Sounds like you are full up. Well come on, let's get you to bed." The sun was only just setting but Subaru wasn't going to complain. She would do anything if it meant she didn't have to eat anymore. Haruko took Subaru's hands and helped her to her feet but this time she didn't let go. Haruko held Subaru's hand all the way into the bedroom and helped Subaru into bed.
"Good night, Sayuri." Haruko said softly, caressing Subaru's cheek before walking out and closing the door behind her. Subaru layed in bed, holding her aching gut as the last of the sunlight faded away. She was too sleepy and in too much pain to really comprehend everything that had just happened but one thing was for certain. This is getting out of hand.
=====================================================================
For the fourth time that morning, Subaru's thumb typed in the number of the housekeeping service and hovered over the call button. Should I really call? Despite everything that had happened last night Subaru still wasn't sure. Haruko was clearly in some sort of delusional state, it wasn't her fault. They would fire her for sure. Judging by the way Haruko talked, Subaru had to assume that she didn't have any family that were still alive, just haunting memories she projected onto other people. How could she take care of herself if she lost her job? Subaru would be consumed with guilt for the rest of her life if she got Haruko fired and then something bad happened to her. Haruko was so nice and caring most of the time, when she was normal, having these little episodes wasn't so bad, was it? It's not like Subaru was actually hurt at all aside from her stomach but that was over now. Subaru locked her phone screen, she just couldn't do this.
The Haruko situation wasn't the only thing that was bothering Subaru. Her stomach was so packed when she went to bed last night she still wasn't hungry for breakfast even now so she had just been laying around looking at her phone and what she looked at was... confusing. Subaru looked up that english word 'architect,' she had to know if she should tell management about what happened on stream. It turned out that 'architect' wasn't a bad word at all, architects were just people who built houses and other structures. What did construction have to do with her streams? She didn't understand this at all so she kept digging and eventually came across a bunch of images of an American actor, Pierce Brosnan, calling him 'The Architect.' Subaru knew him, that's Jamesu Bondo! For a moment she was filled with pride, maybe her chat was saying she was a cool action hero as well!
Unfortunately this pride would crumble as she looked a little deeper. Subaru was hesitant to click at first. She had heard about this '4chan' website from the English girls. Apparently it was some overseas site that had a board all about vtubers! What could be so bad about a fan site? Kiara had been quick to dispel Subaru's optimism. This wasn't a fan site at all, not like you would expect. It was filled with 'sick weirdos' and 'bad people,' Kiara had told her. Kiara told her to avoid that site at all costs but there was a google result for a thread there. A whole thread about this 'architecture.' Against her better judgment she clicked anyway, she just had to know. She was greeted with fan art of Lui serving dinner to Laplus, with Laplus drawn as a toddler. This is so cute! Subaru thought. Until she scrolled down. All the comments were in english so she couldn't understand most of the posts on the page but what she could understand were the images. The whole thread was a collection of fanart. Marine, Noel, Polka, Moona and more, many of the girls were represented here. Represented here as being fat. Horribly fat. Each and every picture was one of Subaru's close friends drawn as being disgustingly obese! They even had pictures of her! It was horrifying, how could anybody wish something like that on her and her friends? Subaru was cringing even just remembering it. Thank god I'm already on a diet. I should go on that run.
For the first time that morning, Subaru finally got out of bed. Her whole body was sore. She had spent the night tossing and turning from the pain in her stomach and now all of her joints felt stiff. She started her standard stretching routine. She put her elbows out to the sides and twisted, left, left, left, right, right, right. She put her left hand on her right wrist and raised her arms over her head, bending to the left and then switching arms and bending to the right. Then she put her feet together and bent down to touch her toes. Well she tried to touch her toes. In reality, her hands only reached to about her knees before her progress stopped completely. Subaru brought one hand up to the pile of fat currently preventing her from bending. Her belly. She was disgusted at how far her hand sunk into the soft mound. Subaru tried to keep those architect images out of her mind as she stood up straight again. She linked her hands behind her head and bent forward to do a bodyweight squat but only halfway down, both of her knees made very loud cracking sounds. Subaru fell backwards in a panic, quick to take any weight off her legs. Her knees hurt. No no no this can't be happening. Subaru couldn't afford to be injured, not when she had a concert coming up! Her next concert wasn't actually for many months but that fact didn't prevent her from freaking out. Hesitantly, Subaru stretched her legs slowly. Her knees were sore but there was no extra pain. She hadn't injured anything but this was more than enough to scare her.
Maybe going for a run wouldn't be a good idea... Subaru thought as she rubbed her knees.
She rolled on to her back and tried to bend forward to stand up but she couldn't do it. She had to throw her arms forward to cheat. She looked down at her belly folding into two rolls and she sat up on the floor. How had the other girls let her get so out of shape without saying anything? Now she felt even worse about Okayu. Subaru had criticized her for gaining a few pounds while Okayu never said a single bad thing about her as she grew to the size of a whale. She took her phone out of her pocket and sent another Line message to Okayu apologizing again. She couldn't believe she had been such a hypocritical jerk. Okayu was well within her rights to never speak to her again. All these thoughts flowed through her mind as she walked out of her room and made her way to the kitchen. It wasn't until she opened the fridge that she actually realized what she was doing. She wasn't hungry at all, why was she getting food? Well... Breakfast is the most important meal of the day…
Giving in to tempta... logic, Subaru grabbed a plate, unwrapped it and put it in the microwave. As she turned to get silverware she noticed something. On her kitchen table was another tray of cupcakes with a note. 'I'm sorry for scolding you last night,' the note read. This time the cupcakes had vanilla frosting with little flowers. Subaru was touched. And here she was thinking of firing her. Her nightmare was right, she really was a jerk. Her hand was halfway to the tray before she stopped herself. No. No, I can't eat these. My diet is already going slow enough as it is and I can't make it worse. Subaru picked up the tray and walked over to her trash can. But Haruko made them just for me... No. I have to do this. Haruko... Haruko won't have to know. Subaru took a deep breath and let it out before dumping the cupcakes into the trash. Subaru felt guilty for throwing away Haruko's kindness like this but she also felt a bit of pride. With that temptation gone I can get this diet back on track. Subaru was feeling pumped up when the microwave dinged. And I'm gonna start with this breakfast.
=====================================================================
Saturday morning came and Subaru was feeling proud. She had eaten nothing but three square Haruko meals a day and drank nothing but water, she was a rock! And soon she would have abs like rock too, her belly was already looking smaller. It wasn't hanging nearly as far over her waistband as it had been before. If she sucked in she could even see the button! Subaru remembered that humiliating day weeks ago when she couldn't fit into her short shorts. But look at her now, her pants perfectly covered her ass. In fact, all of her clothes had been fitting better since Haruko brought her laundry back this week. The days of fat Subaru were soon to be over. Subaru was feeling pretty smug as she got set up for stream. She had been holding off streaming on Saturdays since those were the days Haruko would come over but Haruko seemed to understand to keep quiet and out of sight when her stream was on so Subaru figured it would be okay. She hoped Haruko would understand when she told her that she didn't have time to talk. Besides, Subaru was feeling restless. She had started streaming more often now, forgoing other activities to give her legs time to heal. Sure they weren't actually 'injured' but there was no reason to take needless risks. Subaru was meant to be the icon of good health after all. Subaru heard the familiar melodious knock on the door and quickly answered it.
"Good morning, Haruko!" Subaru exclaimed.
"My, you are certainly full of energy this morning, dear." Haruko replied as she made her way into the living room.
Subaru eagerly explained how perfectly she was sticking to her diet and only drinking water. She even gave a quick spin to show how good her shorts were fitting now. She also told Haruko how today was going to be different since she was going to be streaming.
"That all sounds wonderful, dear." Haruko smiled. "You get to streaming and I'll make you something to eat. I know how you like to eat during stream."
"That would be great!" Subaru hadn't really thought about it but she guessed she did tend to eat on stream recently. She had originally thought it was a little embarrassing to do but her viewers seemed fine with it. Some of them even told her that they would get food and eat with her. Her viewers were so cute when the trolls weren't ruining everything. She hoped they would leave her alone today. She knew better than to engage with them but they were really starting to bother her. On the other hand, she had been gaining quite a few English viewers. She tried her best to read what they said but chat was always moving so quickly that she normally didn't get the chance. At least she got this chance to make so many people around the world happy and that made her proud.
She started her stream and got to talking. It was pretty embarrassing to talk about her weight on stream but she was just so excited that she just couldn't help telling everyone how great it was going.
'You're on a diet?
'Aren't diets supposed to make your weight go down? www'
'I don't think you should be taking diet tips from Polka...'
Subaru ignored the mean comments from her japanese viewers and tried again in english. "I amu... I am diet... Good! Subaru is... very diet and doing good job! Subaru will be... Skinny Subaru!"
'Proud of you!'
'Keep it up!'
'Architect bros can't stop losing!'
From what she could read, the English viewers seemed very supportive. That made her happy. Her happiness only increased when Haruko opened the door to hand over her lunch. The English viewers typed so fast! She was very grateful for her English viewers, they all typed so much that the mean comments got lost as well. Subaru had discovered a game called 'Super Auto Pets' and it was perfect. The game basically played itself leaving Subaru plenty of time to eat. She started up the game and got to eating. It was only a few minutes later when Haruko opened her door again. She gestured for Subaru to step away from the computer. Subaru muted her mic and asked what was up.
"You told me you had only been drinking water and that's just dreadful. Water is good for you but it's so bland, isn't it? So instead I made you this smoothie." Subaru took the smoothie and had a quick sip.
"This is delicious!" Subaru exclaimed, she couldn't believe a diet drink could taste so good.
"Perfect. I'll be sure to make a whole bunch of them for you to have throughout the week." Haruko said and left, closing the door behind her. Subaru came back to her stream and showed chat her smoothie.
'It looks good!'
'God I wish that straw was me'
'Subaru's double chin...'
Subaru ended her stream with a satisfied grin on her face. She had a great meal, got to have this amazing new smoothie, everybody was proud of her weight loss, everything was perfect. Subaru brought her dirty dishes out to the kitchen and found the familiar sight of Haruko hard at work. Only this time it wasn't with dinner. Subaru's entire kitchen counter was covered in glasses of smoothie.
"Hello, dear. There isn't really any extra room in the refrigerator when I pack all of your meals in there so instead I'm just going to make enough meals to last until wednesday so the rest of the space can be used for your drinks for the week and then I will cook again when I come back."
"Alright, Haruko." Subaru replied. Her mouth was salivating at the sight of all these delicious drinks. Haruko could sense her need.
"Here, have another. I made plenty to last the week." Haruko said, handing her another glass. "You can go on out to the couch, I know you love to nap before dinner."
It was true. While the napping had started as an accident, she would be lying if she said she didn't sort of look forward to it now. Maybe I should start napping on other days too. Subaru thought to herself as she got settled on the couch. She could just barely see the very tips of her toes peeking out over her belly. Subaru closed her eyes, smug in the knowledge that soon she would be able to see her whole feet again.
=====================================================================
This is terrible! How could they be gone already? It was only Tuesday afternoon and Subaru was already out of smoothies. She hadn't meant to drink them all so quickly but they were just so good. Subaru could feel that same hot shame she felt when she looked in the mirror. They were supposed to last the entire week and Subaru had drunk them all in three days. Well they are diet smoothies... Yeah, it probably wasn't that bad. And next week she would limit herself properly no problem. At least Mama would be happy to know her smoothies were good. Haruko. Haruko would be happy. Speaking of Haruko, Subaru would have to have her look at these shorts she was wearing today. They were feeling pretty tight around the waist and the leg holes too, something must have gone wrong. She hoped Haruko could do whatever that seam thing was again. Her shirt was feeling a little tight around the chest as well. Shirts had seams too, right? Probably the same thing.
=====================================================================
"Oh, dear, you drank them all already? Well I will just have to make more then." Subaru was a little embarrassed to admit it but Haruko didn't seem to mind.
"Also do you remember how you fixed my shorts a few weeks ago? I put on a pair of shorts yesterday and they were pretty tight. Actually these shorts I have on now are feeling tight as well. My shirts aren't fitting quite right either." Subaru showed how she couldn't even get her finger between the waistband and her body. A look of shock crossed Haruko's face for only a moment before returning to normal.
"I must have messed up your laundry accidentally. I'm sorry, dear. All this crazy technology these days is so hard to use sometimes..." Haruko looked so disappointed with herself.
"Oh, no, it's okay, Mama! You can fix it anyway, right?" Calling Haruko 'Mama' always made her smile again.
"Of course, dear. I'll pack up all your laundry with me tonight and bring them back as soon as I'm done with the sewing."
"That would be great. Thanks, Mama!" Subaru was relieved. Subaru had enough to deal with right now without having to worry about uncomfortable clothes. Some of the girls had dance lessons next week, including Subaru, and she was nervous. Her dance instructor could be a real hardass. She would just have to tell her that she was already on a diet and hope that was good enough. Subaru shared her insecurities with Haruko.
"Oh don't be silly, dear. You look wonderful. I'm sure you will be dancing better than ever." Haruko told her, patting her knee gently.
"You really think so?" Subaru let out a sigh of relief.
"Yes indeed I do." It was so good having Haruko here.
=====================================================================
It was Friday morning and Subaru was sweating. No matter how hard she tried she just could not get her pants buttoned. Haruko hadn't brought her laundry back yet so she was still stuck with a few of her screwed up outfits. Come on, I have to leave for vocals soon! Subaru's bed was creaking loudly as she rolled back and forth, desperately trying to get her pants closed. Eventually she had to give up. Kiara left her pants unbuttoned all the time, that was trendy right? Subaru cringed as she looked in the mirror. Her belly fat was spilling out between the open flaps, she couldn't even pull her shirt down to cover it as it just rolled right back up. It will just have to do. Subaru thought as she checked the clock, she had to hurry or she was gonna miss her train!
On the way to the studio, Subaru had the great idea to use a safety pin to get her shorts closed or find a long dress to throw on to cover everything up, so as soon as she arrived she made a beeline to wardrobe hoping to avoid being seen by anyone before vocals started. Her stealth mission was almost a success but just a few seconds away she was foiled. As she rounded the last corner she saw Nene and Lamy in the hallway. What were they doing all the way over here?! Fortunately, Subaru was able to hop right back around the corner without being seen. She would just have to wait it out and hope the girls went the other way. She could hear them in the middle of a conversation.
"...ubaru's stream yesterday?" Nene asked.
"Yeah I watched some of it, why?" Lamy replied.
"Don't you think Subaru is getting kind of... big?"
"Nene, that's rude!"
"No, I just mean... like shouldn't we say something? I would want somebody to say something to me if I was... If I looked like that."
"No we shouldn't say something! That would really hurt her feelings. You say that but if somebody actually came up to you and said 'hey you looked really fat yesterday' you would cry!"
"So you do think Subaru is fat!"
"Keep your voice down!" Lamy hissed.
"I'm just worried about her. You remember what happened with Polka. We could have prevented that."
"We aren't saying anything to Subaru and that's final. Now let's go, we are gonna be late."
Subaru was fighting back tears. So the girls did know. They all knew. How could they not when she was the size of an elephant? If she was still this big now she couldn't even imagine what she must have looked like last month. Letting herself be seen with her shorts open would be humiliating enough but if anybody saw her crying she would die. She had to leave, she couldn't do vocals today, not like this. Subaru mustered up all the will power she had to not cry as she left the building as fast as her fat legs could take her.
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Haruko came over right away. With the girls all thinking she was a hideous beast, Subaru had no one else to turn to. Spilling her emotions like this made her feel weak but she didn't have a choice anymore, everything was just getting to be too much.
"I just don't know what to do." Subaru was sitting on the couch and looking down at her knees. It was bad enough that she was sniffling and complaining to Haruko like this, she couldn't bear to look her in the eyes. "Everybody thinks I'm fat and ugly."
"Well that's not true at all, dear." Haruko was sitting right next to Subaru on the couch, gently rubbing her back to comfort her. "You said yourself how supportive your viewers were of your diet efforts. They wouldn't be sticking around to watch you and talk to you if they thought any less of you. And I think you look quite fetching."
"I guess that's true..." Despite the storm of emotions raging inside her, Subaru didn't miss the glimmer of warmth she felt from Haruko's compliment. She sniffled and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. "I'm sorry I called you over here just to act like a big baby."
"Oh, no, don't be silly, dear. I would do anything for my sweet little Sayuri." Haruko had been calling Subaru by that name more and more often recently. At first she thought it was weird but now it was starting to become endearing.
"Thank you, Mama." Subaru tried her best to smile. She was still upset but it felt good to vent.
"How about I spend the night here? I would be coming back tomorrow anyway and this way if you are feeling upset again later I'll already be right here for you."
"Thank you for offering but I wouldn't want to waste your whole day, it's only the middle of the afternoon." Subaru was trying to be polite and selfless but the offer was tempting. There was comfort in the idea of Haruko being here for her.
"No, no, think nothing of it, dear. How about you take the rest of the day off and I make you a late lunch. Sound good?" Subaru couldn't say no to that smile.
After lunch and a smoothie, Subaru spent the rest of the afternoon with Haruko talking about all sorts of things. Subaru telling Haruko about all her favorite shows and movies and games she had been playing recently, and Haruko telling Subaru stories from her life.
"I'm sure you would know the place if you saw it. I think I have a picture of it here..." Haruko dug around in her bag and produced a small photo album. On the cover was a picture of Haruko next to a tall, handsome looking man with his arm around her. Subaru assumed it must be her husband though she had never mentioned one. The idea that he could be dead made her sad. Haruko positioned the book so Subaru could see it clearly and began to flip through the pages, telling Subaru all the memories attached to the many pictures.
"And here you are! You must have been... maybe six years old here. So adorable!" Haruko was pointing to a picture of herself with a small child on her knee. It wasn't Subaru, obviously, but she had to admit the child did bear a striking resemblance to her.
"And you grew up to stay just as cute." Subaru smiled at the compliment but internally she was feeling pretty depressed. This poor woman had lived her whole life with all these wonderful experiences and people and now they were all gone. Haruko was all alone now, her deteriorating mind clinging to false projections of Subaru as her daughter. Subaru made her mind up at that moment. She was willing to do anything to try to make what was left of Haruko's life happy. After all, Haruko was doing so much for her already, it was the least she could do.
"Har.. Mama, how would you feel about coming over a few more days a week?" Subaru asked.
"I would love that, dear." It was the brightest smile Subaru had ever seen. "What would you like for dinner?"
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Saturday afternoon's stream consisted of Subaru eating lunch while telling chat about her day yesterday, relaying a funny story Haruko had told her and talking about how Haruko would probably be popping up in more streams from now on. She conveniently left out the traumatizing incident at the studio.
'Meido?'
'Royal duck www'
'Can I be your servant too?'
The English viewers were commenting quite a bit as well. Subaru didn't know the word ‘enabler’ but she was seeing it a lot. There were a lot of exclamation marks though so she assumed they must be happy for her. That made her feel good, at least they didn't make her a social pariah. Haruko brought Subaru another smoothie.
"I know how much you like to have two smoothies with your meals now. I'll start dinner when you are done streaming." Haruko took her empty lunch plate and the other empty glass and left. Subaru sat back and enjoyed her smoothie while watching her pets autobattle. Chat was going way too fast to ever read. Maybe I could end stream a little early. Subaru thought to herself.
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Sunday morning's alarm was accompanied by something Subaru had never had before. Breakfast in bed. Subaru had gone to bed early after dinner and it seems Haruko took it upon herself to stay the night again. They hadn't actually discussed what extra days Haruko should come over on but this was fine. Subaru would enjoy the extra time in bed, she had been feeling so sluggish lately. Subaru took out her phone and took a picture of her breakfast for twitter. It only took a few seconds for the replies to start rolling in.
'Looks delicious!'
'Lazy duck'
'Is that her stomach sticking out from under the tray?'
'THICC!'
'I'd rather eat those thighs.'
'Shuba...'
'Miko liked this tweet www'
Subaru didn't have time to read anymore, she was already lost in ecstasy of Haruko's food.
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Subaru canceled Monday's stream. She was just feeling too tired. Haruko was here again and Subaru spent the day relaxing with her. Having three meals made fresh for her the day before was fantastic and she was happy to be having it again. In fact, she did little more than lay on the couch being fed by Haruko all day long. It was fine, she would need her energy for dance practice tomorrow just like Haruko said. She had spent the whole of last week staying off her feet as much as possible so her legs would be in peak condition to start dancing and exercising again. Starting tomorrow of course. Right now she was enjoying another one of the delicious brownies Haruko made.
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Subaru was just finishing up her second plate of breakfast. She felt pretty stuffed but she couldn't argue with Haruko's logic, more food meant more energy for the day. Subaru put her dishes in the sink and went into the bathroom to shower. Her showers had been getting uncomfortable lately. Her legs started to hurt whenever she stood in there for too long and she was always rubbing against the shower curtain whenever she turned around. Subaru was thinking about how much it would cost to expand the shower into a traditional sit-down space when Haruko came in with a fresh towel.
"Do you need help with your back, dear?" Subaru was shocked for a moment. Sure she had to shower with some of the girls after shows before but she had never let any of them touch her before. The thought of letting Haruko see her naked body was embarrassing but Subaru did have to admit that she was having trouble reaching some spots.
"O..Okay, Mama." Subaru agreed hesitantly. She turned around and slid over to the far side of the bathtub and Haruko opened the shower curtain. Haruko took the bar of soap, lathered her hands and began to soap up Subaru's back. It was almost more of a massage than anything else. Subaru was still embarrassed but it felt pretty good. Lost in the feeling for a moment, Subaru didn't really notice that Haruko's hands had moved to her sides until she felt Haruko squeeze a roll of fat on her belly.
"WAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Subaru's whole body jerked away from Haruko's hand.
"Sorry, dear, didn't mean to startle you." Haruko laughed, "You just look so cute, all nice and pudgy. It's a shame it will all be gone soon." Haruko gave the soap back to Subaru and left the bathroom. While Subaru thought her fat body was disgusting, it did feel nice to have someone compliment her appearance. She could only hope her dance instructor was as forgiving. The feeling of dread returned as she got out of the shower. Her clothes had been feeling loose again which was a great sign but looking in the mirror she didn't think her instructor was going to be too happy with her progress.
Subaru tried holding her head at various angles but nothing she did would hide her double chin and it only looked bigger when she tilted her head down to observe the rest of body. To be fully honest with herself, her boobs were looking pretty great. They were so big and round, completely devoid of blemishes or veins despite their size. "Even Noel would be jealous of these." Subaru thought as she put her hands underneath to cup and push them up, turning to the side to truly take in their size. Unfortunately her happiness towards her side view quickly faded as she looked a little farther down. Her waist was a mess. She couldn't even call it a ‘waist’ anymore, what she had was a certifiable gut. Was there a word for bigger than a gut? The flabby lard sack folded at the middle even when she was standing straight up. She cringed at how far she could press her finger into her bellybutton, it was almost down to the second knuckle. That wasn't the only dimension of her belly that disgusted her however. It hung down so far down it obscured her pubic mound, a mound that would be quite fat as well judging by the fold of puffy skin starting just inward from her hip. Her belly wasn't the only thing protecting the duck's maidenhood either. Her wobbling thunder thighs were touching even if she spread her feet all the way out to her shoulders, and pressed together they touched halfway down to her knees. Subaru turned around to get a back view and it wasn't any better. She folded her arms up to press on the fat collecting under her shoulder blades. She had never noticed how big her upper arms looked until she moved them just now. Long gone were her toned muscles, replaced with two hanging lumps of lard squishing against her armpits. Her back already looked wide enough but it looked skinny next to her enormous ass. How her pants felt loose to her at all was a mystery, she didn't know they made clothes for cows. Her two massive, cellulite covered cheeks looked lumpy, wobbling with even the tiniest movement of her legs. She couldn't even see the top of her thighs from the giant overhang of her ass down onto her legs. She wished she couldn't see the rest of her thighs either as they looked even worse from the back. Subaru couldn't bear to look at herself any longer, she was already nervous enough as it is. She couldn't find her dance outfit in her closet so she just grabbed the loosest looking clothes she had and headed out for the studio.
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"Oozora, where's your uniform?" Instructor Yamato demanded.
"I.. I couldn't find it." Subaru meekly replied. The instructor's cold tone was already making her feel intimidated.
"Yeah, I'm sure that's why you don't have it." Yamato turned her nose up at Subaru and looked at the rest of the girls. "Alright, start with your stretches."
Fubuki, Miko, Suisei, Polka, Ayame and Subaru all formed ranks against the wall and lifted their right legs up to put them on the wall-mounted bar and began stretching. All of the girls except Subaru. She tried to do the stretch routine but even having her leg up like this for just thirty seconds was enough to make her thigh start burning. Subaru took her leg off the bar and bent over to massage the inside of her thigh.
"Oozora! Get on with the stretches. I won't tolerate anyone holding up my class." Yamato barked.
"I'm trying, Miss Yamato, it just hurts." Yamato walked to the center of the room.
"Get over here!" She yelled, pointing at the floor in front of her. Subaru felt herself blushing as she was made the center of attention. Yamato grabbed Subaru by the arm and spun her around to face the rest of the girls.
"I want all of you to look at this." Subaru yelped as Instructor Yamato pulled up Subaru's shirt and yanked the waistband of her pants down, fully exposing Subaru's belly to the class. Yamato grabbed a handful of Subaru's belly fat and shook it harshly.
"This is what happens when you let yourself overeat." She turned Subaru to the side and lifted the roll of fat hanging over her pants. "This is what happens when you let yourself be a lazy slob. You turn into an out of shape fatass like Subaru here."
Subaru was so humiliated and ashamed as the other girls looked at her with shock and pity. She felt tears welling up in her eyes as she broke free of Yamato's grasp and ran out of the room. She only made it a little way down the hall before she broke down, putting herself against the wall and sliding down to the floor. Her disgusting stomach was so big she couldn't even bring her knees all the way to her face. She hugged her arms around them and buried her face in her arms instead.
"Subaru?" Subaru didn't look up when she heard Polka's voice and felt her hand on her shoulder. Polka got down on the floor next to Subaru and hugged her.
"I'm sorry Yamato is such a bully. She's been a bitch to me too." Polka had seen Subaru's figure just like all the other girls had and if she was honest, Instructor Yamato wasn't wrong. Subaru had really gotten fat.
"All of you must... think I'm so... disgusting." Subaru's sentence was repeatedly broken up by sobbing. She had never been this upset in her whole life.
"No, that isn't true at all. You still look good!" Polka tried her best to console Subaru. Subaru had never said even one bad word to Polka even when she was having her own weight problems and Polka wasn't going to betray that kindness. Subaru was too upset to answer so Polka just sat next to her in the hallway for a while.
"You..*sniff* You should probably go back before you get in trouble." Subaru finally said.
"Yamato can rot for all I care. Do you need a ride home?"
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Back home it was Haruko's turn to comfort the upset duck. Haruko was stomping mad when Subaru told her what happened and had many surprisingly harsh things to say about Instructor Yamoto. The drastic shift in attitude would have made Subaru laugh at any other time. Haruko's greatest help, Subaru found, was giving her comfort in the form of food. Subaru's afternoon was a constant stream of smoothies, desserts, anything and everything Subaru could ever ask for. No amount of comfort food was too much. She received many messages throughout the day from several of the girls, expressing sympathy or shared anger at Yamato. She even received a message from Okayu saying that she heard what happened and how awful it is, saying she was sorry that Subaru had to experience something so cruel. Subaru tweeted that she was sorry for having to cancel stream again due to "unforeseen circumstances." Subaru spent the rest of the afternoon and early evening laying on the couch and eating whatever Haruko brought her. Once Subaru was finally feeling relatively calm again, and incredibly full, she retired to her bedroom for an early night. Wednesday followed much the same pattern as she once again canceled stream, she just couldn't bring herself to be in front of other people yet.
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Thursday morning Subaru actually got out of bed unprompted. She was finally starting to feel normal again, normal enough to stream at least. She went to her closet to get a change of clothes. Was Haruko doing all of her laundry again? Where was everything? She had more than enough outfits for a week but Subaru could have sworn she had more clothes than this. She pulled out a pair of shorts and held them up. They looked huge stretched out in her hands like this. What size were these? Had Haruko brought her someone else's laundry by mistake? Subaru looked inside for the tag but it had been cut, just two little barely visible white lines on the waistband. She didn't remember cutting the tags off her clothes. Out of curiosity she tried them on. They had the same loose feel that the rest of her shorts had now that she was dieting for real so they must belong to her. I really am going crazy. She thought to herself. A stream would help get her out of this rut, she just needed to get back to her normal schedule. Subaru walked out of her bedroom and went to the kitchen.
"Good morning, dear." Haruko was putting food onto a plate. "I was just about to bring you breakfast."
"Thanks, Mama. Hey, did you cut the tag out of these pants?" Subaru asked as she sat down to eat.
"No, didn't you? That's how they were when you gave them to me. None of your clothes have tags in them." Haruko responded as she turned back to the counter to pour a smoothie.
"Oh... I guess I must have." Subaru took the smoothie and had a few big gulps. "I'm finally going to stream again today after breakfast so don't run the vacuum or anything, okay?"
"Of course, dear." Haruko bent over and kissed Subaru on the forehead before she left the kitchen. Subaru paused her eating for a moment. She knew she should be shocked but it just felt so... natural? As if Haruko had always done that. Subaru didn't think much about it as she returned to her food. Instead, her thoughts were consumed by her stream. She had been off for several days and she wanted to make this stream special. What should she do?
Subaru finished her breakfast and returned to her room to sit down at her desk. Marine had told her before that if she ever had to take a break she could always rely on fanservice. "The boys will forget anything if you make them horny." Marine had told her. Well... Subaru was a girl too, after all. It wasn't the season yet, it was only May, but Subaru knew how much people liked HoloSummer. She dug through her files and found a picture of her at the beach, playing in the water in her bikini. She used it to throw together a good thumbnail and posted a waiting room, going live in ten minutes, enough time to use the restroom and grab another smoothie to drink.
Subaru started her intro music and grooved to the drums as she watched people come flooding in. Marine was right, she had been gone for how many days and all it took was a suggestive thumbnail and she was right back at the same viewer numbers. Maybe she was still attractive after all. Subaru was filled with hope as she cut off her intro and switched to her camera.
"CHIIWAAASSSU~" Subaru did her typical greeting and threw up the game screen. Subaru knew how much people had been looking forward to her playing Pokemon like she said she would and this stream wasn't going to disappoint. She responded to chat comments while she gave people a little more time to tune in. She told people she had to cancel the previous streams because she hurt her leg. Chat filled up with well wishes and sympathy. She felt bad about lying to her viewers but there was no way she could tell them what had actually been happening. On the other hand, it felt good to see so many people were concerned about her. She was about to start the game when she saw another comment.
'Where's the cute girl in the thumbnail?'
"She's right here!" Subaru laughed. "I'm her."
'Are you sure?'
'You don't look like her'
Subaru knew people liked to tease the other girls like this whenever they used lewd thumbnails. She scooted her chair back and stood up, striking the same pose as her thumbnail. "See?"
'What happened?'
'No thanks.'
'The ugly duckling is supposed to become beautiful, not the other way around.'
'Why are all the Holotori members so fat?'
Subaru was speechless. This wasn't just a few trolls, there wasn't a single positive comment in sight. Every message she saw was a comment about her weight. Subaru felt both shame and tears begin covering her cheeks as she cut the stream off. She got a message on discord a few seconds later. She saw it was from Polka but she didn't read what it said. It wasn't until she got out of her chair and crawled into bed that the sobbing really began.
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The next day Subaru deleted her stream schedule and sent a message to her manager saying she was going on break for a few weeks. There was no way she could show her face on stream after what happened yesterday. She felt like she never wanted to stream again at all. She didn't want to stream, she didn't want to go to the studio, she didn't want to do anything. She wanted to lay in her bed and never leave it again. No one could hurt her here. Haruko would never hurt her. She hadn't gotten out of bed save for using the restroom even once since ending stream yesterday. All she did was lay in bed and cry or eat whenever Haruko brought her food. All she could think about was Yamato humiliating her, Lamy and Nene talking about her and her chat bullying her. How she was a big fat failure. Haruko would try to talk to her whenever she brought food but she wasn't listening. Subaru's existence was only food and sorrow.
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It took a week before Subaru started getting out of bed again and another two before she felt like she could finally try to get back to normal. She had thought about streaming a few times but every time she looked at her camera it just made her scared. What if they bullied her again? She didn't know if she could handle another round of abusive comments. It wasn't until she mustered up the courage to go on twitter again that she found the solution. In the sporadic sea of nonsense that was Aqua's life she had apparently become a "PNGtuber." Subaru had never heard this term before but apparently Aqua no longer used her camera at all, instead replacing it with just a still image of herself while she played Apex Legends for 20 hours a day. It was the perfect plan! She would always be "the cute girl from the thumbnail" now!
She got out of bed to get dressed, another thing she hadn't done in a while. In her depression she had taken to just staying in her underwear, not bothering to change her clothes or even shower most days. She wasn't going to waste this sudden burst of energy she had been given. She grabbed some shorts out of her closet. She got them about halfway up her thighs before they got too tight to continue. She shimmied her hips back and forth trying to force the shorts up, cringing as her whole body wobbled with the movement. No matter how hard she pulled she just couldn't get them up. Her floor creaked loudly as she began jumping up and down but it was hopeless. Oh nooo... she internally groaned. She knew she had relapsed on her diet a little over the last few weeks but she didn't think it was this bad. She instinctively looked over to the wall to check the damage in the mirror before she remembered she didn't have a mirror in here anymore. She had gotten rid of her mirrors, her scale, anything that could remind her of her weight problem. It was Haruko's idea, "You don't need anything in the house that is just going to make your depression worse." The only mirror she still had was in the bathroom but it was too high up and too small to be able to see anything below her shoulders. Subaru tried a few other pairs of shorts and, meeting the same resistance, eventually gave up. It was fine, chat wouldn't be able to see her anyway.
She left her bedroom to find Haruko and tell her of her plans for the day. Haruko had been here waiting on her hand and foot every day for weeks now and Subaru needed to make sure she wouldn't interrupt the stream. She came out to the kitchen and found Haruko mixing some sort of powder into a smoothie for her.
"What's that?" Subaru asked. Haruko jumped.
"Oh, dear, you startled me. What are you doing out of bed, are you alright?" Haruko rushed over and put her hand on Subaru's chin, opening Subaru's mouth and tilting her head back to look in her throat and putting her hand on Subaru's forehead.
"I'm okay, Mama. I just wanted to tell you that I'm going to stream today so you shouldn't come into my room."
"Stream?!" Haruko seemed shocked at the mere mention of the idea. "But they are the ones who hurt you in the first place, dear." Subaru cringed as she remembered their comments again.
"I'll be fine. I have a plan to make sure everything goes okay." Subaru had made her mind up and that was that.
"Well okay but the second anything goes wrong you turn it off, okay? We don't need to ruin your progress." Haruko said sternly.
"I will." Subaru took her smoothie from Haruko and went back to her room. She briefly considered going to shower but decided she would do it later, it's not like chat would know. She found a nice picture of herself on her computer and made a transparent cut-out to use and quickly rigged it to bounce up and down whenever she talked. She tweeted that she was streaming, took a deep breath to calm herself and went live.
Viewers were slow to arrive as she had been gone for so long and hadn't announced her stream beforehand which led to a very awkward several minutes. The first thing on everybody's mind when they entered the chat was asking where Subaru had been and she didn't have an answer prepared at all. When she first started her break she hadn't given a reason and she never bothered to think of one. Trying to think quickly there was only one thing she could come up with, mute her mic and pretend she didn't notice. It was a lame cop out but it was the only thing she had. She waited until more people showed up before unmuting and giving the whole 'I had no idea' routine. She deftly dodged any more questions about her break by answering questions about her PNG instead. This was easy enough, she simply told them that she had seen Aqua doing it and thought it was the new trendy thing to do.
'Cute picture.'
'I love that it bounces'
'I know the real reason why. www'
She saw a few mean comments but it seemed like mostly everybody was satisfied with her answer. She quickly started up a game to avoid thinking about the trolls. Chat changed to hype for her Sinnoh adventure and started filling with name ideas and arguments about which starter was the best one. They eventually decided on picking Piplup and naming it Kaela and the rest of the stream went off without a hitch. Subaru was pleased, going back to normal wasn't going to be so hard after all.
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The next day Subaru's manager contacted her about scheduling make-up vocal and dance lessons but Subaru declined. She told her manager that she refused to go back to the studio after what happened and that she wouldn't be doing any lessons at all until she was given a budget to pay for her own private tutors. Her manager initially refused but Subaru wouldn't budge. This was another one of Haruko's ideas, "You will never be able to diet in peace if you keep getting harassed by your instructors." Her manager ended the conversation by saying she would have to discuss it with the higher-ups. With chat unable to see her, no scale or mirrors to show the slowness of her progress, and no trips to the studio to potentially be harrassed, Subaru could finally relax. She didn't have to worry about anything making her sad anymore, she could just be herself. She decided to shower before stream today so she went to ask Haruko to warm a towel for her.
"Of course, dear. You should take this too." Haruko bent under the kitchen table and pulled out a short, wide, wooden stool. "I know you complained about your legs the last few times I helped you in the shower so I got you this to sit on instead."
"Thank you, Mama! My knees have been extra sore lately, this should really help." Subaru smiled. Another win for her, things were really looking up.
"You go get started and I'll be in in just a few minutes."
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Her days went on like this. She would get up, have Haruko make her breakfast and help her in the shower, stream without having to worry about trolls, have Haruko make her lunch, then spend the rest of the afternoon laying around her room, playing on her phone or PC while being waited on by Haruko. For once life didn't feel like it was out of hand. For once she could be happy. Her happiness continued as the days turned to weeks. It wasn't until mid July that something finally snapped her back to reality, a message from Mio. Mio was currently on break for a couple weeks but when she returned she really wanted to do a lot of collabs and SMOK was a fan favorite. Subaru was hesitant. She looked from her phone down to her body. She could still see her belly sticking far out past her breasts, even when she pushed them together with her hands so they weren't hanging down to the sides. In fact, her stomach was just about the only thing she could see at all, it bulged out so largely that she couldn't even see her hips from how far her love handles hung over, let alone anything below the waist at all. She had been on her diet for a quite a while now though. How long has it been? And Mio was still on break for a couple weeks, surely that would be enough time to finish slimming down. Subaru agreed to a collab date for the second week in August.
Subaru called for Haruko and headed for the bathroom. She didn't bother going to get her stool anymore, it had grown far too uncomfortable to sit on. Haruko said that the moisture was probably warping the wood. Now she didn't shower at all, prefering to simply lay back in a bath and let Haruko wash her. It had been embarrassing to ask but it had simply gotten too uncomfortable to sit on the stool and too hard to bend down to wash her legs when she was standing up. Her breasts put too much strain on her back, or at least that's what Haruko suspected. So she eventually had to ask Haruko to wash her legs for her and Haruko suggested that since was already doing this that Subaru should just let Haruko bathe her instead. The first bath was awkward and uncomfortable for Subaru but she got used to it. She even kind of liked it now, just getting to lie back in the tub and receive essentially a full body massage. Haruko seemed to enjoy it too, triggering more flashbacks of 'Sayuri.'
Subaru got in the tub and called for Haruko again, what was taking her so long? It took another few minutes for Subaru to remember. Haruko had told her that today was a shopping day so she would be gone for several hours. Subaru was already in the bathtub though so she figured she would just make the best of it. With the tub completely filled, her belly still stuck out of the water like a small island so she washed that first. It felt so heavy to lift whenever she stood in the shower but lying in the bath it was weightless. That was Subaru's favorite part about the baths, her body felt so light, like she was already skinny again. She closed her eyes and imagined Mio congratulating her when she showed off her washboard abs next month. Unfortunately she had to open her eyes again to wash her breasts. While she had enjoyed their size for a while, they were honestly pretty unwieldy and it was a little difficult to be sure she had soaped each one completely. She knew better than to try and bend forward to wash her legs so she was already prepared. Haruko had bought her a loofah on a long stick some time ago and it was a real life saver. She scrubbed down her legs but met some difficulty scrubbing between her thighs. She simply didn't have enough room to spread her legs far enough for her thighs to stop pressing together. To make matters worse she also couldn't see them over her belly. She eventually forced the loofah between her legs and, operating on feeling alone, hoped she did a good enough job.
Sufficiently soaped and cleaned it was time to get out of the bath. Subaru had second thoughts however. It was just so uncomfortable to try to dry off her whole body without Haruko's help so she had a better idea. She scooched back to be partially sitting up in the tub and flicked the stopper out of the drain with her foot. The tub drained and Subaru reclined in the tub to air dry. She laid back with her eyes closed, imagining how impressed all the girls were going to be with how great she looked and how all her fans would be cheering for her at the next concert. Eventually she got bored of laying in the tub, and more importantly her back was starting to hurt, so she put her hands on the sides to push herself up. She didn't move an inch. She grunted and strained her arms again. Nothing. Between her belly, hips and thighs Subaru was completely wedged in the tub.
It was at this moment that her world shattered. It was like opening her eyes and seeing light after being asleep for years. And the light was painful. Tears were already spilling down her fat cheeks as she tried to force her way out again. Even now with reality slapping her across the face her brain still desperately tried to deny the truth. Subaru was morbidly obese. She had never been on a diet. She had never been getting smaller. Her clothes had never been getting looser. The girls hadn't said anything before because she wasn't a blimp before, she was a blimp now. Subaru covered her face with her hands as she sobbed. She was finally starting to feel happy again and it was all ripped away from her. How could I have been so stupid? She thought over and over again in agony. Her distraught sobbing was so loud she didn't even hear the bathroom door open.
"Oh my goodness, what's wrong, dear? Why are you crying?" It was like the world stood still. Like her heart stopped beating. It was her. It was Haruko. Subaru hadn't done this to herself. Haruko was supposed to have her on a diet but all she did was give her more and more food every day. How had she never realized?
"You did this to me." Anger was rising in Subaru alongside her sorrow.
"What? I was out shopping, dear." Haruko replied. "Here, let me help you up." She said, bending over slightly and reaching her hands out.
"No. I'm not *sniffle* I'm not stupid anymore. You... You made me like this!" Subaru's yelling was interrupted by sniffles but it was yelling all the same.
"Sayuri, dear, I really don't know what you are talking about. Let's just get you out of the bathtub and-"
"ENOUGH! I'm not stupid! You were supposed to help me diet but all you did is make me hideous on purpose!" Subaru pounded her fist down on the side of the tub so hard it hurt her hand. Haruko didn't reply. Haruko didn't make a sound, she didn't even blink. She just stared, a blank gaze right into Subaru's eyes.
"And I'm not your stupid daughter either! MY NAME. IS. SUBA-" Subaru was cut off with a hard slap to her face. Subaru put her hand up to where Haruko had hit her, she couldn't believe it.
"Fine. You want to act like a disobedient little brat then I'll treat you like one. You can just stay in the tub then. Starve to death in here for all I care." Haruko slammed the bathroom door behind her as she left.
It was only at this moment that Subaru realized the true weight of the situation. Haruko was literally the only way she could get out of the bathtub. Despite Haruko being the direct cause of all her rage and sorrow she was also completely dependent on Haruko as well. No matter how fucked up this was or how abusive she was, Subaru couldn't live without Haruko. Not as she was now. Subaru had built her own coffin and drove the last nail herself. This realization made her all the more depressed as her rage dissipated into even more tears. There's nothing I can do. The last remaining bit of Subaru's pride crumbled away there in the bathtub.
"I.. I'm sorry, Mama." Subaru cried out. "I need help..."
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Subaru spent the next week being 'punished.' Haruko vowed to show her just how much she needed her mother. The first day was the worst. Subaru waddled out of her bedroom to an unfamiliar sight. Haruko wasn't in the kitchen. Instead Haruko was sitting on the couch in the living room reading a magazine.
"I'm not making you breakfast. Get it yourself." Haruko said coldly, not even looking up at Subaru. Subaru went into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. It was empty. No pre-made meals, no smoothies, no anything.
"But there's no food in the fridge." Subaru said meekly.
"Aww, well that's too bad. You'll just have to go to the store. Should be easy for you, you don't need your 'Mama' after all." Haruko replied, turning to another page.
"I.. I don't have any clothes to wear."
"Sure you do, you have a whole closet full of them." Haruko said, waving her hand dismissively towards Subaru's bedroom.
"Those don't... Those don't fit."
"Oh? And why not?" Haruko asked, finally turning her head to look at her. Subaru clenched her eyes shut as she realized what was happening.
"I-I.. I'm too..." Subaru's voice was quiet and weak.
"Speak up."
"I'm too fat..." Subaru started to cry again like she had so many times the night before.
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After her break down in the living room, Haruko had spent the rest of the day making Subaru 'appreciate her' and appreciation meant eating her food. A lot of it. All of it. All day long. The food equivalent of punishing someone for smoking but instead of making them smoke the whole pack they had to smoke the whole carton. By the end of the night Subaru could barely breathe and was begging Haruko to stop. She promised to never complain again, she would promise anything as long as she could stop eating. It wasn't until this begging that Haruko showed her any affection at all. Haruko told Subaru that she was making her “nice and plump” so she could “never leave her again.” The next few days were the same, an endless nightmare of food finally ended with a hug or a kiss on the forehead. In Subaru's weak and defeated state it didn't take long for conditioning to set in. A full belly became synonymous with affection for Subaru and in her depression, affection was all she ever wanted. The previous months were nothing compared to the sheer flood of food Subaru consumed over the next three weeks. A non stop torrent of calories pumping the poor duck until she was fat enough to feed a village. She was already too fat for her clothes but at a certain point she couldn't even put her underwear on anymore. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered to her but food.
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Subaru was lazing around naked on her chair in her bedroom. Her two chairs to be precise. Stating that her desk chair was too uncomfortable, Haruko had brought in two chairs from the kitchen and pushed them together for her. She didn't have them facing her desk anymore either. Since they couldn't swivel and the desk was likely to press harshly on her regularly bloated belly, Subaru opted to have the chairs next to the desk and facing the door instead giving her the best of both worlds. It was here that she currently sat, leaning back and rubbing her achingly full belly. Haruko had made her donuts on which she happily gorged until she was nearly sick. The donuts weren't done yet but unfortunately for the stuffed duck, the third plate was just too far out of reach. She struggled to lean forward and her fingertips just barely touched the plate before the strain forced her to give up. She was too fat and full to bend forward and it was just too hard to get up without Haruko's assistance these days.
Subaru was snapped out of her near food comatose state by an alien sound. Voices. Haruko was talking to people in the living room. But who could...
"Oh, lovely to meet you. I think Subaru has mentioned you before. She's in her room, right this way." Subaru could hear Haruko talking to Mio, Korone and Okayu as they came down the hallway.
THE COLLAB! Subaru was in an immediate panic. She desperately tried to rock forward to get up, pushing her hand down on the desk as hard as she could but getting nowhere. One try was all she had time for before her bedroom door opened.
"Oh my god!" Mio yelped, spinning around as fast as she could to avoid viewing Subaru's naked body.
"What... What the hell happened to her?" Korone demanded, turning to Haruko.
"What do you mean, dear?" Haruko asked as she was already walking back towards the living room.
"You know what I mean, she's..." Korone took off after the old woman and Mio followed as well. Okayu, however, had other plans. She stepped into Subaru's bedroom and closed the door.
"O-okayu..!" Subaru tried her best to cover her breasts with her arms, not making much progress as they were spilling everywhere. Okayu had a smug smile on her face as she walked over to stand in front of Subaru.
"Hmm, what was it again?" Okayu put her finger to her chin in a mocking gesture. "You should try going to the gym? Is that what you said? It doesn't look like the gym is going very well for you." Subaru could feel hot shame rising to her cheeks as Okayu mockingly pressed her finger harshly into Subaru's belly flab.
"Okayu, I'm... I'm so..." Subaru tried to stutter an apology but she was still reeling from shock and embarrassment.
"Fat is the word you are looking for." Okayu harshly pinched the hanging fat on Subaru's upper arm. "Your arms are starting to look a little soft, Subaru. You told me that's how it starts, isn't that right?" Tears began to well in Subaru's eyes as Okayu turned everything she had said back on her.
"Oh, donuts? Are these for us?" Okayu asked, looking at the plate on the desk. "I couldn't possibly, I have to watch my figure after all. It would be a shame to let them go to waste though." Okayu said, picking one up. Even amid this emotional turmoil, Subaru still felt her mouth water.
"Oh, you want it? Well here you go, someone so fit and athletic as you are can eat whatever she wants." Okayu held out the donut. Subaru's arm reached out on instinct, her body needing food above anything else. Okayu waited until Subaru was just about to touch it before pulling it back just out of her reach.
"Oops, not quite. Come on, it's right here." Okayu said, teasingly waving it back and forth.
"P-please just..." Subaru strained to reach for it again.
"That's it, beg for it." Subaru shuddered as she felt the tip of Okayu's tail enter her belly button. Tears began to fall down her cheeks.
"I'm so sorry, Okayu. Please. Please give it to me." Subaru begged. Okayu stepped forward and shoved the donut into Subaru's face. Only some of it made it into Subaru's mouth and Okayu rubbed the rest of it all over Subaru's face.
"Pathetic." Okayu said coldly, flicking her tail across the surface of Subaru's belly a few more times. Both Okayu and Subaru heard the front door slam followed by Mio trying to apologize for Korone's outburst. Subaru watched a wicked smile spread across Okayu's face. Okayu opened the bedroom door and stepped out into the hall.
"Excuse me, Miss Haruko, was it? Subaru looks like she needs a lot of help and I imagine it's a lot of strain for you to help her stand up and walk around. Would you mind if I took care of Subaru? She just means so much to me." Subaru could hear the fake sweetness dripping from Okayu's lips but what she heard next made her blood run cold.
"Of course, dear. I would love to have some help around the house. Would you like some lunch?"