CAREGIVER TESTIMONIALS

Welcome!

This project is modeled on work done by the University of Wisconsin's system-wide Caregiving Task Force. Their original testimonials page can be viewed at: https://consortium.gws.wisc.edu/caregiving-testimonials/

Context

The current world situation creates additional responsibilities for University of Minnesota community members who are in the role of caregiver, broadly defined. This might be because caregiving roles have changed due to the schedules of daycares and K-12 schools, issues with adult care and nursing homes, a return of adult children to the family home, changes in shared living spaces, caring for a friend or family member who is physically ill, being a support person for a friend or family member who is experiencing emotional suffering or mental illness, changes in self-care, or anything else. The testimonials recorded here are collected to document our stories and build awareness of our individual and collective experiences.

Want to share your own testimonials?

Access the form to submit your stories here. Although many of the questions focus on the experiences of caregivers who work in the academic environment, we welcome testimonials from any caregivers in the University of Minnesota community who want to participate.

Testimonials

The form opened for submissions on August 26; last updated September 28.

Q1: Given your situation, what variables do you need to consider to make your work/caregiving plans? What are the variables that make managing your roles easier or harder?

Two different school districts (one our children are in and one my spouse is teaching in) and the university that I teach at.

My partner/spouse's schedule: as the main breadwinner for our household we need to prioritize the responsibilities for that person's job. My kid's school schedule: the kid is not old enough to do school independently so that means everything -- all day long -- is managed by an adult of the household (both of whom have full time teaching positions).

I am an hourly employee with a young child in kindergarten. I need to be available to support my child in distance learning 3 days per week from 9AM to 3PM. This is easier for me because I have a long tenure with the institution and in my current position; I have ample vacation time and have built up a long record of work reliability. I feel like all of that history has built up to this time of need and I will be cashing it all in, so to speak.

There are innumerable variables and uncertainties to consider! I work both in the academic and a clinic/hospital setting and so I must consider that I may put others at risk due to clinical work (if we seek care outside of the home). Also, we have to consider the environment in which our children will be cared for in terms of mitigating risk. Will our children be coming in to contact with many caregivers and other children? What risk is acceptable to us as a family? Multiple variable and competing schedules are also an extremely challenging aspect of care. With two parents working (more than) fulltime, how can we meet the needs of our children? We have received some information on our kids’ distance learning schedules for fall and much of it is synchronous learning. How can we be present to assist with synchronous distance learning for 4-6 hours a day (for multiple children) while still being present for our own synchronous demands (students, class time, meetings)? This doesn’t even account for meal-times and the ongoing normal kid needs throughout the day. If we choose to have our kids being cared for outside the home, how will caregivers provide support for the hours of synchronous learning? We also need to consider support in case one or both of us need to start physically going to work before the kids are back in school in person.

All of them. The K-12 situation is chaotic right now so it's impossible to plan on that end. My district has changed their return to school plan twice since the end of July and not in insignificant ways. And this is just the plan, I am seriously worried about what is going to happen once the school year starts.

I am trying to manage/coordinate my own work schedule full of meetings, my spouse's/co-home-schooling-parent's full-time schedule of work meetings, and our 2 children's daily schedules. We were just notified the week before their Fall began, which 2 days they'll be attending in person, and which 3 days/week they'll be home. We've also been told the kids will have a structured schedule with sychronous meetings, so we'll have to be by their side for those. (While messaging from the elementary school is that kids should be able to manage their home-learning nearly independently, that has not been our experience. They need someone by their side all day, helping them with the technology, keeping them focused/on task, as well as preparing and cleaning up from all meals, supervising outdoor/"recess" time, etc)

5 person household- 2 working remotely with occasional on site meetings; one working on site part time; 3 schooling online full time. We need to prioritize and coordinate access to the internet (not enough bandwidth for all 5 to be connected at once.) We need to coordinate location of remote work for all 5 within the house. This is difficult with a small home where children share bedrooms and there is no office space. We need to coordinate meal prep including shopping, cooking, clean up 3 times per day for all 5 (previously only 2 meals were arranged centrally for 4 people). We need to prioritize and coordinate car use at odd intervals due to erratic schedules and not wanting to use public transit. I also have to be able to shift from my work to assisting with school work when the need arises. Honestly- reduced shopping hours also makes all this harder. I can't just buy food and necessities at midnight anymore.

schooling three kids at home, having a toddler, being a single mom, struggling with family who are sick/lost their jobs/are most vulnerable for COVID. All the above-mentioned make home and work life really complicated and stressful. The added value of being at home is saving commute time and other expenses related to driving/parking on campus. I'd support for all of us that can, not to worry about those issues anymore.

I need to be aware of everyone's schedules and time commitments. I am blessed that all my kids are in school (College, HS, Elementary and Preschool) most days and many activities have resumed. But, the schedules are modified and changed frequently and it is hard to keep up with work and home. We all need more support right now so everything just takes a lot longer than it used to. My husband and I both work from home and need quiet spaces, it would be so much easier if I could just go to my office and work. I find it harder to concentrate on work at home and am on edge every time the school calls for anything.

The meetings are making my life so difficult. People seem to want to meet more often and we are being asked to reflect and share our experiences with others in these meetings. I can not for the life of me hear anyone else's story. It is hard enough to process my feelings about my life changes, let alone now having to be supportive of others.

Time, energy, and uncertainty.

Spouse working full time out of the home. Preschooler attending daycare (until some point that we determine it is too much of a risk with COVID exposure). Second grader in a hybrid school district, attending class 2 days a week and distance learning from home 2 days a week.

As the manager of an essential unit on campus and a single mother I am acutely aware of juggling my caregiving roles at this moment in time. My son's father passed away (brain cancer) two years ago and our family support system is about an hour and a half away in southern MN. In the spring, working remotely and having my son (8) distance learning I could have my retired stepfather help coach him during the day so we packed up and moved south. Now schools are hybrid and my son is in school two days a week (thank goodness as he has ADHD and needs the social structure and routine). However, I quickly became the caregiver for my elderly parents living there (cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, etc) in the spring and summer. When I moved back to the cities my mother was hospitalized with liver failure and now is in need of a transplant and home health and rehab facilities are waitlisted miles long. Now I have to choose as an only child to help my mom or what's best for my son (being in school) while working full time in my essential duties.

I need to consider where my elementary-aged children are in their day - will I need to schedule meetings or other activities at times when I can't be as easily interrupted, for example. Additionally, my kids "fizzle out" and need someone to either ensure they're gettin fed, fresh air, or emotional support, which means I can't be as present at work. What makes my work easier is that I can flex it out, by either starting earlier in the day or working after bedtime.

Q2: Given your situation, what support do you anticipate needing to make managing work and caregiving feasible?

That is a great question. We have yet to be informed on the entirety of our synchronous teaching or classroom expectations from any of the educational institutions that which we are a part and we start school in two weeks. How does one plan for support when it is unclear of when we will need it?

Much more flexibility in terms of meetings, making most meetings optional, flipped meetings or at least allow for questions to be submitted ahead of time and offer recording, more flexible deadlines, leaders that are very clear in ongoing support of faculty who have caregiving responsibilities, encouraging staff and faculty to be succinct and judicious with email (limiting emails sent to only necessary – no reply all!), financial support for having additional help in the home for childcare, paid time off if anyone gets sick.

I love the optimism of the use of "feasible" here. To truly make things feasible, we need more folks who don't have caregiving responsibilities to think before they do things that require workers to do things at a specific time -- scheduling meetings is a classic example. It is a rare meeting whose goals cannot be met asynchronously but most managers don't know how to do that, and many others are unwilling to even try. (And for those who are already doing this, we love you!) So maybe someone in HR could give a webinar or class (or even a list of tips) for managers on how they can accomplish things without calling a synchronous meeting.

I am a caregiver and also faculty supervisor of other faculty in teaching courses that offer multiple sections, so my story is a bit different. I am concerned about the cost to the University as we lose caregivers to leaves and resigning. This is a big money issue (we lose all the years we have invested in these faculty, and we lose time for other priorities as other faculty have to step in to cover). For example in my unit a graduate instructor just announced a leave (it’s a week before classes begin) and there is the cost of the hours spent finding their replacement, done at the expense of other tasks, plus the cost of hours of orientation for the person who will step in or need to be hired, plus ongoing support for the new person that will need to happen throughout the semester. And that’s just to replace a grad student who has two years’ experience…the cost is much higher for losing our more experienced faculty, temporarily or permanently. There are no simple answers and there are some difficult cases where we will never be able to make a big enough difference to keep someone functioning in their position, but in the majority of cases we might be able to come up with plans to lessen the cost if we have some strategies articulated. We had no time to intervene or help in the case of this graduate student, but as this situation continues, can we come up with a plan to do what we can for others? I think we have a fiscal imperative to try.

Work has actually been the easier part. I was able to front load a lot of content creation, my department has been really helpful with my schedule. On the work side I really feel okay.

This is such a challenging question to answer, because at the end of the day, I do not want to need support to make things easier. I appreciate the flexible hours/responsibilities at work (my unit and supervisor have been really great about this and understand that those of us with kids at home just have less to give), but what I really wish I had was a nanny who I could trust to take the pandemic and social distancing as seriously as we do, who could then watch my child when we prefer to keep him home so I could continue to work as I usually do.

Anyone expecting us working parents to "flex" our work schedule is asking a herculean task. Forgive me, but I need to sleep. And I need to prepare, eat, and clean up from dinner. And if I have any hope of surviving this pandemic with my own, my kids', and my spouse's mental health and resilience intact, we all still need some "down-time," and some active/exercise time, and family dinners together. So please don't expect me to work 5-7am then 9-11pm--I cannot do that without cracking. This is a marathon, not a sprint. I must think about how to preserve energy for the long-haul, not work myself at all hours to keep up with my usual productivity/output.

And as for caregiving, which for me means supervising 2 elementary school kids' home-learning, I could really use some advice/guidance about what that means, and we've not received it from our school, district, or society. It's as if we're supposed to intuitively understand that role and those skills. But daily I face a million questions such as "am I supposed to explain that to her? or have her go online and research it? or have her email her teacher and ask? which is the right strategy--what does her teacher want?" And "she's about to cry from frustration, and I'm about to cry from frustration, 'cause the online submission page isn't working...do we keep trying? or call tech support and wait 30 mins on hold? or give up and assume the teacher will email tomorrow telling us the page wasn't working?" I need instruction on how to fulfill this role.

Flexibility, more time off during the day to manage school-age child's day while distance-learning

I need support to be inventive and flexible with my work, and my colleagues do, too. Understanding leadership with clear support for value of my role in the workplace AND my role in my family. Flexibility and communication channels. The leadership and clear support from President Gabel has been so helpful and I am lucky that my departmental and direct leaders echo her message in word and deed. I am concerned for my colleagues who do not have that direct support to follow that lead or flexibility in their work. I also need colleagues and partners to be flexible and mindful about meetings and projects that may not be urgent-- and I need leadership to speak up for that. Now is not the time to make unnecessary systems changes, for example. Another example is really thinking through if a meeting is necessary or who needs to be in meetings. Would be great to have guidance to help through that. I value my face time with colleagues, but now is a time to be discerning to support each other.

I would love to have better internet AND have it paid for by my workplace. It would be wonderful to have unplanned access to my office when the need arises. I need to be able to shift my work hours around to assist children with school work.

If I could dream for a moment: food support, laundry services, tutoring, a home office/space and office supplies without ridiculous justifications or hoops....leadership thinking about how to support us and doing it rather than asking us what we need and dismissing our request after we wasted hours in pointless communication with them about the possibilities and what is feasible. I need my department offering something that is well-thought and ready to go, they need to figure out what is feasible not us, and then they can offer something more concrete. For instance internet services. Most parents have more demand on our internet service and need to upgrade to business plans, the university is not covering for that or in the case of my department is asking for paperwork and justifications that take more time to figure out.

We are getting buried here. We need support right away for mental health, and we need all people scheduling meetings, all managers, all unit heads, all chairs, and all deans to immediately stop and think about what is happening: a significant portion of our work force has two full time jobs: their regular job, and caregiving/teaching grade school/or day care . Think about it, then DO SOMETHING TO HELP by having honest conversations about doing less stuff (so we can do the stuff we do better). Otherwise, we are sunk as an institution and our students will be the ones who pay the biggest price as great faculty leave our institutions.

Recognition that caregiving includes not only child care & homeschooling. It also encompasses care for adults and older adults in our families--- who are vulnerable to getting very sick if exposed to COVID 19. To provide care to my elders-- I need support for a flexible schedule and care to not increase my workload during the pandemic.

Flexibility in when I do my work (more nights and weekends to "catch up" from doing double duty as caregiver during the days. Trust from my manager and colleagues that I am conscientious and will get the work done as best as I can. Grace from my manager and colleagues, to remind me if I'm forgetting something but also to acknowledge that I am still good at my job under incredibly challenging circumstances.

Taking a pay-cut/furlough and working more hours being essential has been a burden. I know the U has said parents should take the time needed....but let's be real. I deal with technology, it doesn't take a break and the students, faculty and staff need my team as much as my family needs me. It's a no win situation. I need schools or free/cheap childcare and someone else to do distance learning with my son - someone with experience dealing with ADHD children and their specific needs.

I am thankful to be in a department that completely supports the juggling act I am currently performing and acknowledging that I can't be present at every meeting or may need extended deadlines on my work should something come up with my children. Additionally, as part of the sandwich generation, both HR and my team have supported me and offered to take on my work so that I can support my father, who has Alzheimer's and is going through several transitions at this time. Having go-to people to support me and the work I do has made all of this feasible.

That is a great question. We have yet to be informed on the entirety of our synchronous teaching or classroom expectations from any of the educational institutions that we are a part of and we start school in two weeks. How does one plan for support when it is unclear of when we will need it?

Q3: Given your situation, how are your caregiving responsibilities or tasks affecting your decisions and productivity regarding teaching, research, and/or service? And/or are there parts of your normal work that you are having to reassess, opt out of, or find yourself being left out of?

My research and teaching are affected most significantly in that I do not have as much time to read Relevant research, develop my scholarship, and submit publications as I had in the past. Cutting development funds to teaching faculty also meant that virtual national conference fees are not supported-so even if I can attend online, I will be expected to pay for the conference that the university will get credit for.

I am having to either opt out of more meetings or ignore my children.

I am a card-carrying member of the ‘sandwich generation,’ with a 4-year-old at home and a single parent over 70 living in another state who needs increased support due to the pandemic (i.e. my time and patience). I am an associate professor with a large research component. I am concerned about the research opportunities I am currently passing up and opting ‘out’ of due to my caregiving responsibilities. For example, over the summer while the daycare was closed, I could not pull my weight in weekly meetings to develop a $2.5 million research grant with international collaborators, so ‘opted out’. This particular grant has an 8% funding rate and an annual submission cycle, so might take a few years (if ever!) to be awarded. If awarded, this grant would provide 3-5 years of research support, with final scholarly output likely emerging a year after the grant ends. So, by passing up this grant opportunity, not only will my productivity this year reflect one less grant submitted, but there are potential downstream consequences that could manifest even up to 8 years from now. These are the years in my career trajectory when decisions will be made about my promotion to full professor and awards. I feel that current policies are adequately addressing any potential decreases in productivity ‘this year,’ but I have concerns about equity for those of us caregivers who will be feeling the hidden and longer-term effects in the years to come.

Less energy while juggling a household full of people trying to work form home. More stress in finding places to work without interruption.

I have been rethinking everything about how I deliver coursework and the workload for our students, many of whom are parents themselves and have to physically go to work. I have been very intentional in trying to lighten student workload, have shorter Zoom class time, and scale back on group projects. I am hopeful that this will help lighten teaching workload during the upcoming fall semester, but the work up front has been substantial requiring long planning hours after bedtime (on top of spring and summer teaching workload). I have definitely needed to move into a putting out fires and triage mode in order to keep up with meetings, email, and teaching workload. Due to these demands, research and writing have been placed on the back-burner many many times. Fortunately, some projects are still able to move forward, but the amount of time that I have left each day/week is minimal compared to what I would normally have. Work creep has definitely occurred and I am working many evenings and weekends (putting more stress on myself and family). I have needed to defer writing grant proposals and submitting abstracts to present at conferences simply because I do not have the time nor energy to write and submit them (not for lack of research). I definitely have fear that these setbacks could affect future research, collaborations, and funding. In terms of service, I am woefully behind in responding to email and responsibilities. I feeling like I am barely keeping my head above water.

I have already heard the phrase, "Well, let's not ask [name] to serve on this committee or be a part of this project or help out with this, because [they/she/he] have kids at home." And yes, this was said unironically! And by people who feel they are being kind or nice! Folks, leaving out people from these things may be what you personally feel is nice, but leaving people out of things derails their careers, and should be the decision of the individual in question! Let them decide to say yes or no. And make the work asynchronous as possible so if they do opt in, it's more manageable.

I have cancer and I am so afraid that my child's memories of me will be peppered with all the times she says, "will you draw a picture with me?" or "will you play a game with me?" and I have said, "I'm working." She is not old enough to understand working hours or that usually she would be in school while parents work, so it feels terrible. I am a non-tenured faculty and our medical insurance is through my job so I choose to opt in to everything and do even more than I ever have done...so that if teaching positions are eliminated I will have a strong profile and not be one of the people let go and we will lost our health insurance. The toll this situation takes I don't even know how to put into words.

I have a 100% teaching appointment but I normally do research too in order to stay current. Not much but enough to be up to date in my field. That has completely gone away.

I love my job, I take it seriously, and I want to grow professionally and do my fair share for my unit. But, sometimes I just can't volunteer or get involved with certain initiatives because I have enough on my plate. And my unit/supervisor have been VERY understanding of this and have made it clear that no one will experience repercussions for this, so we are encouraged to take whatever time we need for our families. But, that doesn't mean that I am not envious of my colleagues who do not have kids and do get to become further involved with projects at work. I have not necessarily being left out of anything, but I can be less available for the students I serve, I volunteer for projects/tasks less often, and I am sometimes slower to respond to emails or task requests. And while most of my work does get done during regular hours, I also have to work in early morning hours before my child wakes up, or sometimes later at night after he goes to bed. There have been a few times where I have to ask my partner to parent solo for an evening because I am too damn tired to wait to get my work done after my child goes to bed.

Daily I wish I could either quit my job, or quit homeschooling. But I can't do either. So I feel defeated. I'm used to being selective about the roles I take on in life, and only accepting those responsibilities that I can do well. (I know I've had a lot of privilege, in having choice--choice about wanting to work full-time, and choice about wanting to be a parent) I'm used to doing those things that I do, well. But since the pandemic everything I do, I do poorly. I homeschool poorly, and my work is not it's usual quality--I'm simply trying to do to much, at the same time. As for work, I took partial leave over the summer (to parent), so I only worked 2 days a week. I was able to make very little progress on work projects. This Fall I have no more leave available, so I'll be multitasking, but likely again making very little progress on projects. I hope I'm able to stay employed. I feel disconnected from all colleagues, as I can't attend half my meetings, so feel "left out" of most discussions, decisions, and planning. They're kind and ask me direct questions about which projects I can help with, but I'm struggling to say "yes." I know I'm lucky, "big picture" at having a job and a spouse/co-parent and kids. But life is way overwhelming right now.

If anything, I'm working more; due to the constraints of hiring I am doing the job of two-three people, all while trying to manage a child at home all day. I would love to have the LUXURY of reassessing. The University preaches "taking breaks, be good to yourself, etc." however, in practice, this is not obtainable. We are all doing more with less, which by fact, does not allow for time for "self-care."

I have not had to opt out of anything yet, but I see that need coming as school starts. I am nervous about this. I would like to keep contributing and growing, I hope for future increases in responsibility and fear this time will halt that progress. I am trying to lean in extra to my work when I can, in some ways I am probably working more hours to compensate for the change in my schedule and routine. That is not a sustainable approach, but I feel the need to show I am here to work and contribute. I want to be valued and maintain my position over time.

I am doing my best to attend to the highest priority work. There are work groups that I have not joined because I am unsure that I can maintain the schedule and additional workload needed. I also find it difficult to cultivate new partnerships and relationships with some communities due to the reduced face to face meeting time.

I'm sacrificing hours of sleep and self-care to keep up with family and work responsibilities. So far, I have completed everything consistently and without delays. The price is high though. I'm struggling physically and emotionally. It is unsustainable. I need the work to get done, if I don't do it I need someone qualified who can donate hours and help me do it without getting my salary compromise, that'd be ideal.

My capacity is just a lot less at this time. My writing has declined considerably as well as my service activities. My teaching is taking much more time with the additional needs of students and time it takes to prepare for online learning and classroom virtual activities.

I find that I am saying no to a lot of things I would normally say yes to. I work in a school that has a large number of older faculty with either no kids or grown kids. It's hard to keep explaining that I can't take on more roles when I have 3 kids at home in 3 different levels of school doing online work at home. This probably won't impact me too much this year, but my absence will likely impact me in the future.

My mother in law just died from COVID 19 complications. And my day to day responsibilities includes caring for my aging parents, one of which has moderate dementia. To do this, I connect with my parents daily via zoom (my father mastered zoom use after several hours of tutoring from my brother), for 60 to 90 minutes at the same time same place--- as that is best practice for a person with dementia-- it reduces confusion, etc. I also help coordinate my parents' care and problem-solve in the face of illness, changes, new needs etc. All of this eldercare takes a lot of energy and time. There are wonderful/joyful aspects to it --such as spending so much quality time with them and learning from the strengths they use to deal with this pandemic. There are other aspects of this caregiving that make me so sad and at times fearful--that make it hard for me to fully engage with my work. I do my best to cover my work responsibilities by extending my hours --I put in more hours in the evenings and weekends. I receive no appreciation, recognition, or accommodation for my COVID 19 situation--- from people at work. However, I do have a lot of support from my family and friends--and I am so grateful for that.

I am less likely to say yes to new assignments or opportunities. I am not able to take advantage of learning and professional development opportunities. I am less responsive to my colleagues than I would like to be. Almost anything on my "nice to do but not necessary" list is being postponed.

I am definitely shorter with people, my tolerance is low for those who are even more unkind these days. This is awful because I pride myself on my customer service and am often lauded for it in our dept. I find myself logging on a lot more often to keep up at all hours because my work station is right in the center of my house....I think I'm actually working way more than 8 hours a day when in reverse my caregiving responsibilities should be having the opposite effect.

I find that any "extras" that I would usually engage in as a natural learner just cannot happen as I'm left exhausted by 2:30 p.m. each day. I feel like I am doing the baseline of my work. Where I would normally try and be all things to all people, I just can't do that, though the positive to that is that I am learning my limits and asking for help and/or delegating more effectively, when needed.

Q4: Given your situation, what things have been helpful, supportive, and/or positive so far (for example, collegiality, certain policies or resources, actions taken by your department, groups, unit, or individuals, etc.)?

My course coordinators have been supportive of a schedule conducive to providing childcare at home. Additionally my department chair did encourage online classes due to COVID, but no outreach has been made concerning childcare of young children.

I am very grateful that I have flexibility in the mode of teaching delivery this fall (remote and synchronous/asynchronous). Even if my 4-year old can be in preschool, the moment she comes down with a cough associated with a cold (even if with a negative COVID-19 test), she will be (righly!) excluded for 10 days for preschool. With a 4-year-old ‘only' child, this means that she will be needing my attention. I am grateful for the flexibility in teaching modes, as in theory I could prerecord my lectures for my synchronous remote class.

My friends. And Joan Gabel's reassuring emails.

Our amazing upper-level leadership (President, Provost, Vice Provost, Deans).

Close friends who are faculty and in a similar position. Department leader who has made many meetings optional and reached out individually to offer support. President Gabel’s messages have been a big boost for me, personally.

Scheduling has been good. In general, my chair has been focusing on the student facing side of our mission this year for everyone and I think it has helped.

My department has been supportive and flexible.

Our unit has not made any formal actions with policy regarding our response to the pandemic, however leadership has been very vocal (in meetings and in writing over email) about the amount of flexibility they are encouraging us to use as we see fit. It helps that there are many parents in my unit - folks seem to understand how exhausting it can be with children at home, especially young children who cannot keep themselves occupied or are too little to not be supervised constantly.

My supervisor being sympathetic, contradicting me when I say I'm a loser and a slacker, supporting my requests for time away, and not asking me about progress on projects, nor in any way suggesting I should be doing more. My colleagues (even the non-parents) expressing sympathy and not expecting me to do more than I am. The U's available covid leave policy. Pres Gabel's ongoing statements that she knows we're all doing the best we can, and naming working parents as those facing burdens. My units (I serve multiple units) not giving me any grief for missing so many meetings.

Allowing us to remain working from home.

My departmental leadership and my direct supervisor has been incredibly supportive and vocal about being creative and flexible with our hours and work. This has been a huge help, just knowing that I CAN think outside the box helps me make that effort. It also helps me stand up for myself with other colleagues. It has been very helpful to have venues to communicate my schedule and needs for help, and to also hear the adaptations of others on my team. It is creating a new culture of consideration and helping each other in our work. It has been helpful when colleagues share their hours in their email signature, for example. I am glad to adapt for them and that communication eliminates some need for extra explanation and back and forth conversation just to find a time to meet.

Many colleagues are working through the same issues. We are mentally and emotionally supportive of each other. The virtual nature of our work and teaching has allowed broader work groups than before. Instead of only working within the NW region, I have joined teams with people from all regions.

My colleagues, especially moms, have been super supportive. I'm lucky to have a few neighbors that help out too. The University Emergency Paid Leave for COVID-19 or Families First Coronavirus Response Act are not helpful at all for me. If I take that time, the money to cover my FTE will continue to come from the grants funding my position. So we would be spending grant dollars and the work would not get done.

The Center for Teaching and Innovation has been such a great resource.

My department chair has been very supportive. I feel comforted by the messages from the President and her flexibility with our schedules.

Many letters, notes, and meetings include self-care reminders and encouragement. I do appreciate those. However, the requests and expectations at work have expanded. So those invitations/ reminders about self-care seem meaningless at times. I have, on my own time (unpaid), delved into UMN resources to help me redesign the delivery of my courses from in-person to online. These resources have been invaluable.

Reassurance from dept administrator and dept chair that we support one another, we can be flexible about getting our work done, and we will not have to come to the office if we don't feel safe. Checking in and asking if there's anything they (dept colleagues) can do to help. Simple understanding and giving me the benefit of the doubt if I haven't responded to something as quickly as possible. Weekly team lunches via Zoom that are informal, simply meant to catch up on one another's lives - not about work.

At one point, I finally had to ask my team to step up. They were used to me doing everything for them - scheduling them, creating and coordinating projects and they would just go "do" them, now we've been so busy and since we can't hire we actually have had to make them take on some of their own admin responsibilities as well. Our daily zoom morning meeting check-ins with them on campus and me at home have been really helpful and keep them more in tune with feeling like they can call, email or chat with me when needed throughout the day....that I still have the pulse of what is going on and can assist even remotely. I have been able to train them over zoom, 'face to face' and sharing our screens on the admin stuff which is great. Before our supervisors were absolutely against remote work for everyone because we have essential workers on staff....but this has kind of proved the work can be done otherwise. Not to say on site staff don't have some resentments....

Would add the University's COVID leave, which I took advantage of last spring/summer. FMLA has also been utilized. My department has been non-judgmental and supportive in all aspects of my work, to include assuming some of my responsibilities so that I can help my children with school or be there for my dad.

Q5: Given your situation, are you or have you considered a change in your appointment or status (for example, dropping from full time to part time, taking FMLA, or even leaving your position)? If so, do you have any ideas for what the University, or your unit/department/college, could do to address the barriers you face that contribute to these decisions?

No, I am not considering a change in FT status or leaving my position as our insurance is through my employment. Increasing effective administrative support would be helpful but more importantly addressing workload issues/decreasing teaching workload and hiring more faculty would be helpful.

I am considering a drop to a lower % appointment. I don't think I would qualify for FMLA. Every day I consider resigning but we need the health insurance. By all objective measures I am really good at my job and in many ways it is my dream job, the only reason I want to resign is because of the toll this situation is taking on my family.

No. I am concerned that I would not be rehired if I left.

I struggle with this a lot. On the one hand, I am a Professional & Academic (P&A) position. How many hours a week I work, and when they take place, is meant to be fluid. Because of this fluidity, I have not felt the need at this time to reduce my appointment. But, once we are back on campus, I would love to have the option to work from home more frequently. I need to be on campus - it breaks my heart to not be there to see my students and colleagues. But, I am also able to do so much more for my family while working from home - and still meet my work responsibilities. Once my child is school aged, I would seriously consider either requesting to work from home 25% of the time or request a reduced load down to 75% so that I could come home in the afternoons before my child gets out of school. Then I can be caregiver, prepare meals, etc. The pandemic has made me realize how much I want this in the future.

Every day I'd like to quit parenting or working. But neither is an option. We know 2 families from our personal lives who have had 1 parent quit working to be able to homeschool their kids, but I do not want to do that for my own sense of contributing to society professionally, nor for the lost income and benefits. The covid leave policy allowed me to keep my kids safe at home for the summer. But now I'm out of leave time, so it's back to multitasking every day, faking like I'm working full-time and simultaneously faking like I'm providing high-quality home-learning.

My spouse and I split the week's homeschooling responsibilities evenly, so we're each essentially only working part-time. I hate feeling like I'm lying--I'm faking working full-time. Some way that I could honestly be open about the fact that I can only work half the week, as I'm homeschooling the other half, would be really lovely. But my covid leave is done. As a salaried person, I'd just love for someone to say that it's ok during this pandemic, with lil kids at home, it is ok for me to only be working half the time.

Yes, if it were allowable I would drop to part time. However, I don't see this being allowed in my department.

I do not plan to reduce hours. I need the income and the benefits. I plan on working longer hours some days to to enable me to support my child during school hours. I will also use vacation time and leave to make that child time possible. The unknown length of time adds to the challenge of making this work. I want to be engaged and productive in my work, but I need to be available to my young child.

I cannot sustain remote office space in my home indefinitely. Especially without significant additional compensation. It makes me nervous that the UMN does not have a return to work date yet.

I really wish I could. I do not make much so I thought I could leave for a year. However, I realized that I would end up paying so much for my family health insurance if I leave.

Every day I think about quitting, changing jobs, dropping to part-time, taking FMLA, every day. I can't do any of those..maybe change jobs but there is so much energy to put into that I can't afford it either. I think that if the department would come up with consistent communication and concrete solutions rather than asking us and then dismissing, that would be a great start. For instance, they could make it easier by reviewing all unnecessary meetings and cutting those out (or send email updates, whatever the case), AND encourage people to do it (some divisions need to hear it and feel they have the permission to do so). Maybe the departments can put together what resources they have (monetary or not) and creating a menu of things people can have access to. Maybe they can do like other organizations and public offices have done by creating a consistent policy to support workers/caregivers (e.g. DHS established back in April that every person with a child at home younger than 12 years old can work 6 hours a day (not 8hrs) without financial repercussions). That is real help.

No, it is not an option due to our not receiving our merit increase and pay decrease/furlough.

I have not considered a change but have wished that I was independently wealthy so that I would not be so overwhelmed, stressed and run down. I think academic units need to consider workload. It can't be business as normal.

I have briefly considered FMLA and also leaving my position.

Depending on how the start of the school year goes, I may need to consider dropping to a lower % appointment... though I'm unsure if that would be supported and how it might hurt my longer-term career trajectory. The biggest barrier for me would be dropping below the level where I'm eligible for medical benefits for me and my family.

If I could afford to, I would to take care of my family but I am the sole breadwinner so that is not an option. I've done FMLA before (on maternity leave) and the fees (insurance) and unpaid days were unexpected and way too much and give me the hives even to consider doing it again.

I have not as I feel supported, though I did drop adjuncting a course knowing that I simply wouldn't have the bandwidth to do extra work in the evenings and weekends - it would have equally been a disservice to me, my students, and my family.

I will not change from full time to part time Because we not only need the income, but the insurance for our kids. If the university would arrange for a child care intern program, helping to pair early education students with parent who need a few hours a week child care and distance learning support, it might really help support not only the university, but also working families.

Q6: ...any other comments, stories, advice, bright spots, and/or problems you've faced that you'd like to share?

I appreciated the concerns emailed by administrators, like President Gabel, for working parents, but desire more actionable support, like targeted outreach to help fix dependent day care spending changes (E.g. change in status outreach and follow up rather than “that is the way it is” and lost email responses from HR with the fiscal loss falling on working families for money left in flexible spending accounts), pairing early childhood or education students with working parents, incentivizing deans and department chairs to problematize and make actionable plans to support parents (tenure and tenure track faculty, teaching and instructional faculty, students, administrative staff).

I see this impacting my female colleagues so much greater than my male co-workers. It feels like women are doing the brunt of the caregiving on top of our full time jobs. When our leadership/bosses/chair people are men (as mine are) there does not seem to be the understanding empathy or leeway needed.

This time has been extremely challenging for everyone, but I have found colleagues that do not have current caregiving responsibilities very challenging in their wanting to meet more often and for longer, outright refusing to work via email or asynchronously, and for not creating clear expectations/agenda for meetings. There are often dynamics of academic hierarchy and power at play here as well, which makes the situation even more frustrating and demoralizing. It is difficult to express how demanding the current un-balancing act of constant caregiving and academic career is and I often forgo trying to explain it to colleagues for fear they think I am complaining or whining. I tried to give a truthful answer to one of my colleagues recently and they replied "Oh yeah, I remember how it was when my kids were young" effectively cutting me off.

It would be great if people who are in charge of committees, units, working groups, etc. got some kind of support in understanding how to effectively work with the new reality of caregiving. Even the small committees led by rank and file employees and us “plain” faculty members who happen to be in charge of organizing groups. This caregiver situation is not going to last forever (we hope), but we need to change the mindset to be open to different ways of doing things so that we don’t lose people — resignations of good people are so costly to the university. So one issue it would be helpful to tackle is how work group members who make suggestions for changes to working group protocol are listened to and respected. In a unit I work with, there’s a large cross departmental committee and in times before covid, a person who made a concrete suggestion to streamline the working model was characterized as “not collaborative” and “not supportive of the group.” This was never addressed openly and now things are even worse, as no one is brave enough to suggest changes to how the group operates (100% synchronous on Zoom). Because of what can happen when people suggest things: they are marginalized as “not good team players.” Maybe some reading this will understand that this is not anything new…especially if you’re a racial minority and/or a woman, this kind of boundary setting to reclaim productive work time usually gets you that label. We’re used to it and we work with it but maybe now is an opportunity to improve the situation. Or maybe if we could encourage those in charge of any of these group to START the conversation: "what works for everyone in this group now? Our reality has changed, how can we make sure everyone who wants to participate, can?" That way we don’t have to put the burden on the caregivers to bring it up, and take that risk. Thank you.

Leadership across the University need to get aligned with one another when it comes to everything that the pandemic has impacted: hours worked, services reduced or ramped up, and (most importantly) whether or not units need to have a "presence" on campus and request employees to come to the office. From the day President Gabel announced students should not return to campus from spring break and all courses would be remote, there has been so much variability with how supervisors and other campus leaders have handled things within their own units, and it's astonishing and infuriating. What baffles me further is that President Gabel's messaging around employees staying home has been CRYSTAL CLEAR, and yet we still have leadership asking units if there is anyone willing to work on campus. It's offensive, it disregards our safety, and it is a clear sign to me of toxic cultures and workplace practices where we have leadership who, in an emergency, ask the question "How can I ensure my employees do not take advantage of this work-from-home situation?" instead of "How can I best support my employees through this horrible event?" Our wellbeing should be more valuable than projected revenue losses.

I know there are millions of other people facing hardship during this pandemic. I am lucky to have full-time employment, be able to work remotely, be healthy thus far, and have a co-parent sharing the homeschooling. Thanks for also acknowledging those caring for elders or other types of dependents, and those battling health conditions. For single working parents, please do anything possible for them.

I cannot stress enough how powerful the support for flexibility and balance has been from President Gabel on down through my departmental and direct leadership. That clear guidance has been empowering and has given me the permission to think creatively about how to make parenting and my career work at this time.

I am very concerned about colleagues who do not have that same full support from their more direct supervisors and leadership. I have spoken with colleagues whose supervisors have turned down requests for adjusting hours. I have witnessed microaggressions like eye rolls and deep sighs when a child pops onto a Zoom call for a moment. These actions do not help create a supportive work environment for anyone; they add stress in this time of great need for grace and adaptation. We are lucky to have technology, skills, and, for many, positions that can function outside of the 9 to 5 framework. Now is the time to take advantage of that privilege.

I feel like I am inviting everyone from my work into my home and personal space. My home is generally my safe space away from work and prevailing cultural dynamics. I no longer have that separation. It can feel like my safe space is gone. I have had to alter my home's decoration (which shows in the background of my zoom meetings) to avoid comments and microaggressions from both colleagues and clients.

I work at a male dominant department. A few female colleges either don't have children or their kids are much older. I really feel stuck and have no one to talk to.

Thanks for asking these questions, I hope you can elevate our voices and needs.

One of the things that I am finding particularly challenging is the increased burden of mentorship and student support that we are facing as faculty. I think the mentor burden (especially for emotional concerns) tends to fall on female faculty members more than males in the best of times. COVID seems to be magnifying the distress that students are feeling and they turn to me for support and guidance. It is hard to have this additional burden when I am trying to manage my own issues, my partner's issues and my kids' issues. I don't want to turn students away, but I feel like we need to be compensated for all the psychosocial support services we as faculty are being asked to provide to students. I've spent countless hours with students providing reassurance and referrals to mental health specialists. Time and time again I hear that they prefer to talk to me. It's really hard and the stress of this is starting to really get to me.

I'm really disappointed that the football season is going forward because it feels like a choice against us as caregivers. We have chosen entertainment and the revenue it generates (both provided by the unpaid work of mostly Black students who make up NCAA Div I football). We will never get COVID levels back to a point where K-12 schools can open and we can have in-person campus classes if we don't make choices to prioritize health. I read somewhere "we can have bars, or we can have schools open, but we can't have both." Now it's, "we can have football, or we can have schools open, but we can't have both." We have football. So disappointing.

I realize that we have successfully adjusted and transformed our interactions for COVID 19 at home and at UMN --- for more than 6 months. Our new world, with precautions and new ways to connect, is getting to be more routine. I am confident we can continue these new ways for another 8 to 12 months. I also believe some of the changes both at home and UMN are improvements ----changes we will carry forward post COVID and continue to improve in the future.

I appreciate the tone Pres. Gabel has set from the beginning, that we understand these are unprecedented times and acknowledging the unique challenges working parents are facing.

If distance learning in K-12 was steller and could accommodate a child with ADHD, this would actually be a good solution to my issues at the moment so I could also care for my mother during this time. However, being in a hybrid situation I now put her at risk every time I go down to help because there is no one else to do so.

I know this isn't equal across the University, but I am 100% totally supported by my department and have not once felt guilty for doing what I need to do for my family and the current situation in which we find ourselves. I also encourage others who feel guilty about taking COVID or pandemic leave to do it, even if incremental. It does wonders for one's ability to cope emotionally through all of this!