Teacher Guide

MY PARENTS’

MARRIAGE

A Novel

NANA EKUA

BREW-HAMMOND

CONTENTS

3                                           INTRODUCTION & OVERVIEW OF THE TEXT

5                                                            KEY THEMES & CRITICAL CONTEXT

19                                                                                  CHARACTER ANALYSIS

25                                                                              LITERARY DEVICES

30                                                                    GLOSSARY OF KEY TERMS

33                                               RELATED READING: COMPARATIVE TEXTS

35                                                                             AUTHOR INTERVIEW

38                                                                                   ABOUT THE AUTHOR

41                                                                                     SAMPLE LESSONS

53                                                  ADDITIONAL DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

56                                                           ADDITIONAL ESSAY QUESTIONS

58                                      ADDITIONAL CREATIVE WRITING ASSIGNMENTS

INTRODUCTION & OVERVIEW OF THE TEXT

in charge is Colonel Ignatius Acheampong backed by his “girlfriend administration,” so nicknamed for their reputation for spending the nation’s purse on extra marital relationships with young Ghanaian women.

At 22, Kokui Nuga is prime age for such a relationship, or marriage—but both prospects force her to face her complicated feelings about coupling. Born to a wealthy paper manufacturer who has betrayed her mother and his other wives, she longs for a relationship with a man that is not centered on transaction and does not accept infidelity as its price. She believes the only way to avoid this future is to leave Ghana and marry a different kind of man than her father.

She seizes an escape route when she meets fellow Ghanaian Boris Van der Puye, an ambitious hotel attendant headed to community college in New York who seems nothing like her monied, dictatorial dad. But once in the United States, Kokui’s shallow reasons for entering into the union are quickly tested.

The class differences between her and her husband, and their accompanying expectations become an instant and recurring source of tension as the couple move into the one-bedroom Brooklyn apartment of Boris’s cousin Sammy, his wife Frema, and their young daughter Jane. Unable to look away from the cheating and violence that strains Sammy and Frema’s marriage—even as Boris attempts to control her life choices—Kokui begins to realize she’s pushing against much more than her parents' turbulent union: she's battling a web of traditions, systems, and attitudes that conspire to empower the men in her life at the expense and dignity of the women. 

Just as her own marriage starts to go into freefall, Kokui is summoned to Ghana at the news of her father's sudden passing. But the shock of his death is only the beginning. Upon returning to her motherland, she discovers Ghana’s matrix of marriage laws have surprising and humiliating implications for the women and children her father has left behind. Ensnared by her parents’ tumultuous union in a new way, Kokui must confront the specters of her parents’ marital choices once and for all, and perhaps find peace, and clarification, for her own.

KEY THEMES & CRITICAL CONTEXT

MARRIAGE

The characters’ positions on marriage—legally, culturally, and emotionally—are the heart of the narrative.

Legally

Under Ghanaian law, there are three types of marriage:

1. Customary, which involves the man's presentation of a dowry to the woman's family, and entitles the man to take multiple wives;
2. Mohammedan, a union between Islamic partners, entitles the man to take multiple wives; and
3. Ordinance, nicknamed “white wedding,” which requires the filing and issuance of required paperwork to the satisfaction of a licensed marriage officer, and is strictly monogamous.

Right from the novel’s opening pages, the author introduces us to two of the three types of legal Ghanaian marriage (Customary and Ordinance) and opens a window into attendant cultural norms. Via “A Record of Nuga Marriages,” we learn that Kokui’s father Mawuli Nuga has married five ladies over the course of twenty-three years; some under Customary law, some under Ordinance law, some under both. As the story builds to a surprising conclusion, the rights associated with marriage in general, and with each specific nuptial style, come into sharp relief along with the inheritance implications.

In Chapter 4, we learn a few details about Ghanaian marriage in general:

• Men, hold the legal upper hand in a marital union insofar as they have autonomy to take on multiple wives, and
• Children, not wives, are the primary beneficiaries of a man’s estate in Ghana.

When Kokui asks her mother Micheline—who is in a Customary marriage to her father—why she doesn’t divorce him and remarry, Micheline dismisses the thought, telling her daughter she wants to secure her children’s right to her husband’s estate:

“Re marry?” She sliced the word into two, seemingly considering the question for the first time in her life. “Marry who again?” She shook her head. “No.”

“Why?” Kokui emptied her chest of breath, overcome with sadness for her mother. “Because you love Daddy?”

“Should I let him give another woman what I’ve earned?”

“What have you earned, Ma?”

“As long as I am around, what he has is yours. The others have divorced him. Their kids have left the country.”

“They’re still his children, Ma. And he is married to Auntie Hemaa, too.”

“Hemaa has no children.”

“Have you spoken with Daddy about this?” Who knew how Mawuli would decide to divide his estate in his will, Kokui thought, or if there wasn’t some other wife somewhere with children who could also stake a claim? “He can leave his things to whoever he wants to.”

Kokui and Micheline’s conversation also raises the compounded complexities involved when:

• The man has more than one wife
• The man has more than one wife with children
• One or more of the wives with children has divorced the man,
• The man’s children are not resident in Ghana

Micheline distinguishes herself from her husband’s other current wife by pointing out that Hemaa has no children, but there is another difference between her and Hemaa. As the Nuga marriage record emphasizes, Hemaa is married to Mawuli Nuga under Customary and Ordinance law—a distinction with legal implications that are revealed after Mawuli dies.

In Chapter 26, Kokui is aghast at the news that her stepmother has kicked her sister Nami out of their deceased father’s house.

“She’s filed a claim seeking Letters of Administration over Daddy’s estate,” Nami said.

“A claim? On what grounds?”

“That she is the only legal Mrs. Nuga.”

“Ah!” Kokui looked from her sister to her mother.  “But?”

“He did Part Three with her,” Micheline said.

        Kokui closed her eyes. Her father had wed her mother, and each of his wives, in the customary way, first Knocking for them, then taking the second step of presenting their families the items listed on the dowry along with the bottles of liquor to seal the nuptial agreement. Those who had divorced him had also done so according to tradition—the women’s families returned the drinks. It was only with Auntie Abui and Auntie Hemaa, however, that he had taken a third step to celebrate in the Evangelical Presbyterian Church courtyard and submit a license to the Marriage Registrar. Auntie Abui had divorced him. His union with Auntie Hemaa was his only marriage, on paper.

“But we are his children. By law, we are his heirs, not her.” Micheline had always made sure to emphasize this to her and Nami. “Have we contacted Daddy’s lawyer?”

“Lawyer Denu is the one who told me. Under the Ordinance, as the ‘Mrs.’, she’s entitled to two-ninths of his estate,” Nami said. “Ma can contest if she can prove she was his wife, too.”

“I’ve filed.” Micheline tilted her chin up. “You all are my proof.”

“The rest of the estate is for the Nuvis and us to share,” Nami went on, “but since Daddy had children with different women, our rights differ—which dilutes our individual positions, and makes hers stronger. For now.”

By the end of the book, Kokui—who is herself married under Ghana’s Customary and Ordinance laws, and is now living in the U.S.—concludes:

“Our marriage laws just humiliate women.,” she said. “I mean, if you do customary wedding, the law says the man can add as many wives as he likes. If you do white wedding, they tell you, the marriage is invalid if the man has entered, or enters, another customary marriage, even if you don’t know. Protect the man’s prerogative at all costs! I don’t know why we even bother marrying.”  

Culturally 

Ghanaian culture is a reflection of a complex weave of generations’ old traditions and British mores adopted during a century-plus of colonial rule. This marriage of sorts is felt throughout the society in diverse ways, from governance to marital unions.

Customary marriage, as the name implies, is rooted in centuries of custom familiar to societies across Africa and the Middle East. A man betroths a woman by first going with the usually male representative of his family to “knock” at her father’s house and declare his interest in word and gifts. If his proposal is accepted, after a background check, the woman’s father presents the man and his family a list of items to procure for his future bride and her family. The items on the dowry are intended to compensate the family fir the loss of income the woman could have earned for her family were she with them. The prescribed gifts are also meant to help set the woman up for her new life with items including a suitcase, cloth, a sewing machine, and seed money for a business. In a Customary marriage, the man has the prerogative to take more than one wife.

Mohammedan marriage is a religious union founded on Islamic law and faith. This union allows the man to take up to four wives, provided he can take care of each spouse in an equal manner.

Ordinance marriage was instituted in Ghana in 1884 under British colonial governance. This marriage style requires the couple register the union at the Marriage Registrar. Though an Ordinance union is also known as a civil union and can happen via a licensed church officiant or a court registrar, it is colloquially understood as a union between Christians. Under Ordinance law, the couple must be strictly monogamous; any additional marriage by either party is not only a crime (bigamy) but invalid.

The coexistence of these separate but equal marriage types has evolved and muddled nuptial practice in Ghana over time. Couples who can afford to, often have two ceremonies: A Customary wedding, now deemed “Engagement;” and an Ordinance union nicknamed “white wedding” perhaps in a nod to the white wedding dress, the “white” British tradition, or both. Many men of means who formerly broadcast their status with multiple wives, now do so with a “Mrs.” they marry under Ordinance law, wives they engage under Customary law, and extramarital girlfriends.

Because, culturally, men have the ultimate power to choose the style of marriage they are in, you’d be hard pressed to find officers of the law enforcing punishment for bigamy. The complications persist after death—it is not uncommon for wives to sue each other for their rights to their deceased husband’s estate.      

The novel’s characters mull this exact tension in Chapter 30:

“Come and sit.” Micheline called her daughters in. “We are discussing the funeral arrangements.”

She passed them a sample of the funeral program flyer. Next to wife, only Micheline’s name was listed.

“We’ve already left the body too long. I know you all are Accra people,” Efo Cletus said as Kokui and Nami flanked their mother, “but our tradition calls for us to do the burial, then the funeral, then the kɔnuwɔwɔwo, then—”

        Micheline inhaled. “Efo Cletus, what you are describing is all going to be money. Since I am fronting the costs, let’s keep things simple as I had suggested. Burial on Friday. Funeral on Saturday. Thanksgiving service on Sunday. Finish.”

        Efo Cletus’s nostrils doubled in diameter. “My brother was not a simple man,” he said. “Aside that, you know we will get donations to cover all the costs and even leave us with profit.”

        “Let’s focus on ensuring a profit,” Antony said.

        “You know your brother was an E.P. Church man,” Micheline said. “He didn’t agree with libations, except to drink them himself.”

        “Faaa!” Efo Cletus sprang from his chair, the legs scraping the floor with his movement. “You, the traditional wife, are fighting his Christian wife for your children’s rights, but you want to go around the custom? Decide for yourself what it is you want to do and tell me, since you are the one ‘fronting the costs’.”  

Micheline sucked her teeth. “Which custom? Was I there when you all were creating your customs and traditions so you could bed as many women as you like whether in church or in the village? In fact, you wear your customs like costumes—when you don’t like one, you switch to the other, mixing and matching to suit yourselves.

“Me, the custom I fell into when I married my husband was love,” Micheline said. “I loved the man, not knowing he had pledged himself to many others, and when I learned the truth, I bound myself only for my children. I will get for them what I stayed for.”

Emotionally

At the heart of the narrative is Kokui’s emotional reaction to her father’s philandering and its impact on their family. In fact, she takes it personally:

As a daughter whose mother had left without fully leaving, Kokui felt the betrayal of, and in, her sex. Her father had shared himself with yet another woman who had not known about the others, and he had devastated another mother. He had created yet another child who would have to negotiate the throbbing pain and disrespect of the woman who had labored to deliver them with the indifference of a father who afforded every security except the emotional stability of a peaceful home.  

She remembers the twelve years of familial ignorance she shared with her parents and sister as a “one mother-one father fantasy” (See Chapter 28) and now on the other side of the rupture, Kokui laments that her family is not “uncomplicated.”

Every year, Kokui, her sister Nami, and their dad leave his new wife to spend Christmas with his other wife, their mother who lives in the neighboring country Togo. In Chapter 4, we see the family of four together, eating, drinking, and laughing “like this was their norm.”

Kokui felt her shame of her father, and for her mother, again yielding to the fantasy of an uncomplicated family. All four of them seemed to be under the spell of this delusion. Micheline cracked jokes at the cacophonous production Mawuli made of breaking and sucking the marrow from each bone in his koli. Kokui aped her dad’s guttural gobbles. Nami tried to ape Kokui.  

Every year, this pilgrimage made Kokui wonder what might have been if her parents had chosen a different way. If Micheline had not left her and Nami at the house in Achimota, when she found out it existed along with, then, three other wives and eight other children. If she had opted to take Kokui and Nami to Togo with her, or kept them in the house at Ridge, the only house they had then known. If Mawuli Nuga was a different kind of man.

.

Kokui’s musing goes beyond wondering what might have been, but has crystalized into a palpable fear that she is doomed to have an unhappy marriage herself. Her mother and sister are tormented by their own feelings about the betrayal by their husband and father, and their instinct to protect him:

They lay in their respective lakes of sadness, their throats taut not only from the weeping but the whispering. God forbid, Kokui thought bitterly, Mawuli hear and accept that the knife he had plunged in the hearts of his wives had cut his children, too. It was so confusing to her, this impulse they all shared to protect Mawuli from the pain he had caused them.

Each character impacted by Mawuli’s betrayal manages their emotional response differently. The wives alternately vie for his affection in diverse ways and take their frustrations out on his children, while the children flex their respective positions in a hierarchy undergirded by birth order and wife order. In their youth, the first wife’s second son Antony wields his spot in the pecking order like a sword and a shield, seizing favor and doling out protection from sibling bullies as needed. In the wake of their father’s death, in Chapter 28 Kokui recognizes Antony’s hurt underneath his callousness:

“Bro Antony.”  The siblings pushed into each other, tentative, lightly patting, keeping their distance even in the closeness they had initiated.

“So the old goat is dead,” he said.

Kokui could hear the ire threaded with wistfulness in Antony’s voice. She reached out to squeeze his arm because she felt the same way. She, too, was aggrieved that Mawuli had died before she could resolve the hurt and resentment that sat curled like a cat between her love and admiration for him.

Her brother stepped back from the reach of her tenderness.

PATRIARCHY

In spite of Mawuli’s betrayals, his wives and daughters rarely confront him. Instead, they mostly choose to internalize their distress, perhaps in part because they grudgingly accept that his unfaithfulness cannot be meaningfully challenged in a direct expression of disappointment or anger. “Mawuli Nuga was rich, handsome, and magnetic,” Kokui muses bitterly in Chapter 2 when a woman surprises their household with the baby she bore for Mawuli. “Men with that trinity of power could do whatever they wanted to whomever.” With respect to this sentiment, Kokui believes “It was up to the women to leave”—an indication of the onus she, and the culture, places on women to receive dignified treatment.

In the same chapter, Auntie Hemaa, one of Mawuli’s two current wives, wears an impervious expression as she invites his daughter to meet their “father’s Christmas miracle.” Her stoic response leaves Kokui feeling perplexed, but she and her sister Nami don’t tell their father how they feel about the child either. it’s clear that any other response than their silent acceptance would disrupt the power structure in the house—something, again, the women are not willing to do even though doing so might yield a benefit for them.  

The women’s compliance to Mawuli’s infidelities becomes a performance. In Chapter 3, perhaps hinting that she knew he did more than cross the border on his drives to his other wife in Togo, Auntie Hemaa gently, and patronizingly, warns her husband to avoid “arguments with any of the boys at the border.” When he does cross the border to Togo in Chapter 4, Mawuli’s other wife Micheline plays a game he is all too willing to play, in which she makes him sleep on the floor the first night before inviting him into her bed the rest of the stay.

“Ma, why do you always make him sleep out there the first night?”

“Only to boot us onto the floor the rest of the week, and let him in,” Nami added.

“The first night is to punish him,” Micheline said, “but a whole week would punish me.”

Kokui laments her participation in this game, yet does not see any other hand to play. She sees her personal power as dependent on her proximity to a man, specifically a powerful and wealthy man—or getting over on a man.  

In Chapter 5, we find Kokui on a quasi-date with one of her father’s associates, both revolted by her company and defiant:  

Colonel, Lawyer Denu, and every bloated belly “big man” in Ghana, disgusted Kokui. They had the money so they saw everything and everyone as a transaction. The last time she and Nami had been at the Ambassador, they had run into Colonel and he had pulled rank on the lieutenants they were sitting with and bought their drinks for the rest of the night. It being the eve of the New Year, Kokui simply wanted him to do it again. She would take as much as he would give, drain him dry as she could, but she would give him nothing because she owed him nothing—and because she didn’t have to. In moments like this, she thanked God she wasn’t poor. The circle of irony it was being Mawuli Nuga’s daughter was dizzying.

It was a hypocritical game she was playing with the colonel. She knew this. Colonel was a married man. But she was not his wife, she rationalized. She had not entered into any binding arrangement with this man. She would take his drink and dinner money—likely pilfered from Ghana’s coffers, anyway—but she would do nothing to make his kids siblings to other children they would struggle to love for fear of hurting their own mothers.  

THE TENSION BETWEEN TRADITION, RELIGION, COLONIALISM, & MODERNITY

My Parents’ Marriage sits at the intersection of Ghanaian custom, religion, and the legacy of a century of official colonialism—as well as the modernization brought on by exposure to different norms via travel and the lifestyle adjustments necessitated by intra-country and international migration. Together, these factors have had a complex effect on Ghanaians and Ghanaian culture.

Tradition vs. Modernity

“Auntie Hemaa was a Prempeh, from the royal line. If she had wanted to share a husband, she could have chosen to. Polygamy was legal for royals and Muslims in Ghana—and informally enjoyed by anyone who had no claim to a title other than “man”.”

– from Chapter 3

The colonial interests saw Africa in terms of its resources, ignoring the multitude of ethnic groups living in the different kingdoms across the continent. The nation now known as Ghana was dubbed the Gold Coast, and borders drawn around it both separated families and made one nation of formerly distinct or warring groups. By 1972, the year My Parents’ Marriage opens, Ghana has experienced the interrupted but consequential leadership of Kwame Nkrumah, the nation’s first president who helped wrestle Independence from British rule. Nkrumah was a staunch pan-Africanist^[3] who made it his business to build a united Ghanaian and African identity. His cabinet was a melting pot of Ghanaian ethnicities, his wife was Egyptian; and he encouraged inter-ethnic marriages among Ghanaians.

A man of his time, Kokui’s father Mawuli has taken wives and lovers without discriminating. He is Ewe, but his partners run the gamut from Ewe to Akan to Ga to Fante to German. This is important to note because the different ethnic groups prioritize men and women differently and have very specific norms that accord distinct rights and responsibilities based on gender.

Auntie Hemaa is from the Akan people, who operate as a matrilineal society. This means lineage and inheritance pass through mothers. In the royal family, which Auntie Hemaa also comes from, it is believed the god of the Asante stool—the seat of Asante power—communicates only with the Queen Mother^[4]. As such, the Queen Mother selects the King who will rule over the people, and she has the power to depose the King. Akan women command wealth and much authority in their society, but much of that power is connected to their fertility. The King is expected to take multiple wives who can bear him multiple children.

Much like Kokui, Auntie Hemaa decided that she didn’t want her parents’ marriage.  She chose to marry Mawuli, an Ewe man. Moreover, she chose not to have children, defying the notion that children are additive to her worth. She is a progressive figure, yet she is trapped in a patriarchal paradigm in which her husband still has the prerogative to marry more than one woman even though he is not royalty. Perhaps further complicating her situation: the Ewes are a patrilineal people.

Tradition vs. Colonialism

Traditionally, Ghanaian marriage allows the man to take more than one wife. Also according to tradition: A man’s children, not his spouse(s), are his next of kin. The tradition was challenged in 1884 when the British colonial rulers introduced the Marriage Ordinance that asserted monogamous marriage as another viable option. For many women of Ghana (then the Gold Coast), monogamy in marriage was particularly attractive because it removed the (direct) competition for their husband’s affection and made their children’s inheritance rights less complicated. It also gave wives a protected inheritance stake in their husband’s estate in the event of death, a right women in traditional marriages did not enjoy.

The conflict between Customary Marriage and Ordinance Marriage comes into harsh relief when Auntie Hemaa shuts Kokui and her siblings out of their father’s estate in the wake of his death:

“She’s filed a claim seeking Letters of Administration over Daddy’s estate,” Nami said.

“A claim? On what grounds?”

“That she is the only legal Mrs. Nuga.”

“Ah!” Kokui looked from her sister to her mother.  “But?”

“He did Part Three with her,” Micheline said.

Kokui closed her eyes. Her father had wed her mother, and each of his wives, in the customary way, first Knocking for them, then taking the second step of presenting their families the items listed on the dowry along with the bottles of liquor to seal the nuptial agreement. Those who had divorced him had also done so according to tradition—the women’s families returned the drinks. It was only with Auntie Abui and Auntie Hemaa, however, that he had taken a third step to celebrate in the Evangelical Presbyterian Church courtyard and submit a license to the Marriage Registrar. Auntie Abui had divorced him. His union with Auntie Hemaa was his only marriage, on paper.

“But we are his children. By law, we are his heirs, not her.” Micheline had always made sure to emphasize this to her and Nami. “Have we contacted Daddy’s lawyer?”

“Lawyer Denu is the one who told me. Under the Ordinance, as the ‘Mrs.’, she’s entitled to two-ninths of his estate,” Nami said. “Ma can contest if she can prove she was his wife, too.”

“I’ve filed.” Micheline tilted her chin up. “You all are my proof.”

“The rest of the estate is for the Nuvis and us to share,” Nami went on, “but since Daddy had children with different women, our rights differ—which dilutes our individual positions, and makes hers stronger. For now.”

        -from Chapter 26

Colonialism x Religion x Modermity                                                

“One of their mother’s massive old woodblocks sat between the single chairs,

holding up a black leatherbound Bible topped with a dish of four cowrie shells.”

-from Chapter 4

African Christians have been around since 1 AD^[5], with Ethiopia home to one of the oldest churches in the world and the traveler Ibn Battuta writing of Nubian Christians in the 14th Century^[6]. However, European colonialism in Africa spread and institutionalized Christianity through laws, churches, schools, and related missions that made an indelible mark across the continent.

Colonizers were not primarily interested in the progress of the countries they occupied. They mostly developed the neighborhoods they lived in as well as the means of extraction and transportation that made it easy to get raw materials to Europe for production. They also built and supported institutions that reinforced or was friendly with the colonial power structure. Ironically, with most colonial rule in Africa beginning at the turn of the 20th Century and continuing through the 1950s, ‘60s, ‘70s, ‘80s and ‘90s in respective countries, it influenced and presided over a shift from traditional communal values and methods to contemporary attitudes and approaches—a shift that was most evident among the upper classes.

When My Parents’ Marriage opens, our protagonist Kokui is newly returned to Ghana from a monthslong time in London, and she and her sister Nami, wearing “fake flowing ponytails” attached to their natural hair, are enjoying a pre-Christmas celebration at the Ambassador Hotel.  We learn as the story unfolds that their ability to afford fake hair and enjoy chauffeured drives to hotel parties is accorded by their father who has built an empire printing and publishing Christian literature for churches and schools as well as government paperwork.

As a family, the Nugas embody the intersection of religion and modernity in post-colonial Ghana. The nation’s traditional, religious and colonially-instituted marriage styles—and the marital choices Mawuli, his wives, and Kokui make—exemplify the friction between colonialism, religion and modernity.

In Chapter 4, we learn that Micheline has a dish of four cowrie shells on top of a Bible. The quartet of cowries would be used to seek and read answers from the spiritual realm. In the same chapter and in chapter 16, we also learn that Micheline seeks help from the priest in the marché to protect her daughters from Auntie Hemaa’s “powerful [Asante] juju”—and that Mawuli is opposed to this.

The quiet hum of their grief hung in the air for many minutes before Micheline spoke again. “I’ll go to marché and see what they tell me to do.”

“I will come with you, Ma.” Kokui wanted to ask the priest what to do about the shame of rootlessness she had felt long before her father’s latest woman had uttered her pronouncement.

“And have your father chop my head and say I am turning you all into witches? No,”

Micheline said.

-from Chapter 4

INDEPENDENCE

She and Boris had agreed on a new, accelerated timeline: they would be gone next month, not coincidentally on the 6th of March, Independence Day.

– from Chapter 12

All of the characters strive to make their own way in the world and shake off actual and perceived fetters to their pursuit of fulfillment.

Kokui longs for independence from her parents’ expectations and the freedom to make her own decisions about her future. One reason Boris is so appealing to her is because he’s headed to America, a terrain that is completely foreign to her, a blank slate she can write a new story on.  

Boris yearns to escape his eldest brother’s hold on their mother’s estate  as well as the disappointments of life in post-Independence Ghana.  This yen leads him to seek his cousin’s help in getting to America.

Mawuli, as a young man, is determined to free his mother and himself from poverty. In adulthood, he is driven to prove wrong every negative stereotype about his capabilities and worth as a Black man. These goals have propelled him to not only build a successful business, but purchase machinery with the aspiration to revolutionize the Ghanaian and West African printing industry.  

Micheline flees her marital home for her native Togo, and leaves her daughters in their father’s custody when she discovers her husband’s lies and infidelities.  In Togo, she lives her life on her own terms, doing her art and maintaining herself without help.

Hemaa, a royal daughter who grew up in a polygamous home, marries outside of her people, chooses not to have children, and helps at least one of her stepdaughters avoid unwanted pregnancy by introducing her to abortifacient “teas.” Committed to living her life as she chooses, she runs the successful business she has inherited, independent of her husband. She turns a blind eye to her husband’s dalliances, but when he dies abruptly, she asserts her right to be free of his betrayals and the ties he tried to bind her with.

CHARACTER ANALYSIS

KOKUI NUGA VAN DER PUYE

Kokui—the firstborn child of textile print artist Micheline Miadogo Nuga, and the tenth born of paper mill mogul Mawuli Nuga—strives to have a very different marriage from her parents’ turbulent polygamous union. At twelve years old, she learned by accident that her father had three other wives, in addition to her mother, and eight other children. This revelation leaves her fundamentally changed.

Hours after the shock, her mother moves her and her little sister out of the home they shared and leaves them in her father’s other house which is full of wives desperately jockeying for their husband’s affections and unleashing their frustration and rage on the children. The experience leaves Kokui feeling, among other things, acutely perplexed by marriage and womanhood.

She pities her mother and stepmothers. She feels trapped by her mother’s decision to stay married to her father. And she questions what the future holds for her if she stays in Ghana given that most of the men she knows are philanderers like her father. Her determination to marry and live differently than her parents becomes an obsession that drives her to pursue Boris Van der Puye, a fellow Ghanaian working as an attendant at the Ambassador Hotel on his way to community college in the U.S., and rush into marriage.

simply because they are different from your father was never a wise strategy—and that she may have been shortsighted in judging her mother for staying married to her father.

Her father’s sudden death, and the legal battle it precipitates, forces her to grow to the deeper understanding that she has always been her own woman and her future has always been hers alone to make what it will be.

Descriptors: Determined, Dreamer, Empathetic, Entitled, Expressive, Fun-Loving, Heart-Centered

Hopeful, Impetuous, Judgmental, Naïve, Observant, Passionate, Rebellious, Seeker, Sensitive

MAWULI NUGA

From birth, Mawuli’s mother instilled in him a drive to live bigger than anyone in their family had ever imagined, and she was successful. His main motivations in life are:

1) to improve his economic circumstances,

2) to blow past every limit placed on him,

3) to squeeze every drop of pleasure he wants out of life,

4) to set up his generations to do the same.

He is as insatiable as he is intelligent and industrious, working hard and plotting as necessary to achieve these ambitions.

The combined effect of Mawuli’s drive and his sensitive, intuitive nature, is a powder keg of charisma which he leverages to phenomenal success in business, and detonates in his romantic relationships. His vision sets up his family financially, but he doesn’t see how his infidelities in love and marriage undermine his family and his goals.

Descriptors: Ambitious, Authoritative, Brilliant, Charming, Commanding, Cunning, Didactic, Gifted,

Generous, Industrious, Insatiable, Intuitive, Self-Absorbed, Shrewd, Sensitive, Visionary, Weak

^[8]

MICHELINE MIADOGO

Micheline is committed to living life on her own terms. Born into privilege in Togo, she has been able to choose a life that reflects her artistic gifts and passions. She believes her children will be able to do the same when she marries charismatic paper mill mogul Mawuli Nuga and makes her life in the Gold Coast / Ghana. But twelve years into their marriage, she discovers Mawuli has another three wives and eight children living not far from their daughters’ school. The betrayal almost undoes her, leaving her heartbroken, resigned, and embittered. She decides to leave her children with their father and return to Togo to live the life she hadn’t envisioned, but still on her own terms.

Descriptors: Creative, Decisive, Gifted, Hard-Shell-Soft-Center,

Resolute, Strong-Willed, Stubborn, Vehement, Unconventional

HEMAA PREMPEH-NUGA

Hemaa refuses to let anyone determine or diminish her inherent worth. An heiress in the Asante Royal Family, she has not only decided to marry outside of her people, but she has chosen not to have children, eschewing the societal and legal rewards that come with motherhood. She initially believes these choices have insulated her from patriarchal diminishment, but her husband’s culturally protected philandering breaks her heart and forces her to bend. She raises his children, using her influence to shape their attitudes on children and family. She uses her money to indebt her husband. And when he dies, she exerts her power as the only wife he remained married to under Customary and Ordinance Law to take the spoils he worked for and undermine his legacy.

Descriptors: Calculating, Pragmatic, Progressive, Shrewd, Stylish,

Unruffled-on-the-Outside-Crying-on-the-Inside

BORIS VAN DER PUYE

The only thing keeping him going is the spot at Erie Community College his cousin Sammy helped him secure, which he has deferred for one year to raise funds for his ticket to New York.

He is singularly focused on meeting the deadline when he meets Kokui Nuga. His pragmatic side tells him not to be distracted into pursuing a relationship he would have to end when he leaves Ghana, let alone with a rich girl. But his ambitious side indulges the flirtation, and eventually, marriage.

Too proud to allow his wife and father-in-law’s money to keep him, he only grudgingly agrees to the funding of their airfare; and once in New York, living with his cousin Sammy and his family, he obliges Kokui to join him in submitting to a grueling work schedule and deferred dream plan to power their life as international students.

While he firmly resists Kokui holding her money over him, he is weak with his cousin Sammy. He feels indebted to Sammy for putting him on to the opportunity to attend university in America, for housing him and Kokui, and for helping him and Kokui secure work. He jeopardizes his and Kokui’s hard-earned financial security as well as their marriage when he gets caught up in one of Sammy’s schemes, but when her father abruptly dies, Boris’s pride and insecurity lose their foil. His dutiful, reliable character and his love for his wife lead him to be sensitive to her hopes and dreams and honor the life they are building together.  

Descriptors: Ambitious, Dependable, Diligent, Disciplined, Dutiful, Focused, Frugal, Goal-Oriented

Hardworking, Head-First, Insecure, Practical, Proud, Resentful, Resourceful, Studious

NAMI NUGA

Nami blossoms under pressure. Having grown up in the shadow of her more outgoing elder sister Kokui, Nami initially seeks attention and affirmation by trying to be more like her, but she begins to grow into her own when her father’s death reveals the asset her more pragmatic, disciplined personality is to her fortunes and her family’s.    

Descriptors: Ambitious, Determined, Diligent, Disciplined, Dutiful,

Gifted, Head-First, Insecure, Practical, Sensitive, Studious, Underestimated

^[10]

SAMMY QUARTEY

Sammy takes the hard hand he’s been dealt and does his best to win with it anyway. Born to a working poor family in the Gold Coast, Sammy’s ambitious, resourceful, hardworking nature earned the respect of his aunt who put him through school. He always wanted to return the favor in some way. Upon learning of a U.S. policy to welcome international students, he applied to Erie Community College and got in and managed to bring his wife to the States, too. His infectious, industrious personality helped the couple build a network that mentored them and helped them secure steady work and take care of their young daughter. Years, later, he did the same for his cousin Boris, the son of the aunt who paid his school fees. Though Sammy has submitted to the hustle of immigrant life in New York, he seeks outlets for the pressures of the relentless work schedule and the distance it has caused with his wife.          

Descriptors: Ambitious, Charming, Cunning, Determined, Fun-Loving, Generous,

Industrious, Loyal, Resourceful, Self-Indulgent, Supportive

FREMA QUARTEY

Frema has long lost her idealism even as she holds tightly to a hope of better times. Ten years after moving to the States to join her husband, the realities of a crushing hustle to balance work and school ambitions, as well as a surprise pregnancy and resulting extended health challenges, have sapped her joy. She feels trapped, and her husband Sammy’s infidelities have driven the nail deeper. The only thing keeping her going is her daughter Jane, and that she will be able to finally return to school at the end of the summer. When Sammy invites his cousin and wife to stay in their one-bedroom apartment for the summer without asking her, Frema is reaching her boiling point. She lashes out from time to time, but decides it makes most sense for her to just get on with it and endure her suffering. Frema stays in the marriage to maintain consistency for Jane who is a Daddy’s girl. She can’t even begin to entertain the idea that her and Sammy’s marital troubles might be adversely impacting Jane.

Descriptors: Ambitious, Deeply Resentful, Determined, Disappointed,

Frustrated, Industrious, Martyr, Perceptive, Pragmatic, Resigned

SISTER EYRAM

Sister Eyram refuses to bite the hand that feeds her. Her cousin Mawuli has used his wealth to support her and her brother, nieces, and nephews. In exchange, she has raised his children and been a stabilizing force in their home amidst the depression, frustration and rage of his wives. She does not question what her life might have been if she had chosen to devote her energies differently.    

Descriptors: Decisive, Devoted, Fiercely Loyal, Meek, Opinionated, Realist, Responsible, Sharp-eyed

ANTONY

Antony is blistering with unresolved rage at his father for disrespecting his mother. He is the only child who has dared to confront Mawuli about his betrayal of his children’s mothers, but even years later that venting of his anger, and his decision to eschew his father’s support for a life in London, have offered him no peace. He has not been able to find his footing professionally or emotionally. His father’s sudden death leaves him even more resentful because he will never be able to resolve his deep anger—but it also opens up the opportunity for him to get on steady ground. As his father’s second born son, in the absence of his eldest brother, he is determined to get what he believes is the only thing his birthright is worth: his father’s money. The only problem is, he doesn’t have the funds to mount a legal challenge against his father’s current wife.

Descriptors: Adventurous, Brave, Cocky, Entitled, Loves a Good Laugh, Loyal,

Resentful, Sensitive, Short-Tempered, Stubborn

^[11]

LITERARY DEVICES

SETTING

My Parents' Marriage: A Novel moves between Ghana, Togo, and the United States from 1972 to 1978.

Ghana

The novel is primarily set in Ghana’s capital, Accra. That the story opens at the end of 1972 is significant because it places us in a Ghana that is past the glory of its revolutionary Independence movement. In 1972, Kwame Nkrumah, the leader who helped wrestle Ghana’s Independence from Britain and was later ousted by a coup d’état, died in Bucharest, Romania seeking medical treatment for prostate cancer. 1972 is also the year Colonel Ignatius Acheampong^[12] staged the third successful coup in Ghana in six years. Acheampong’s administration was known for gross corruption which, among other things, involved the soldiers spending the nation’s cash on gifts for their wives and girlfriends. The setting becomes a metaphor for fading promise and the patriarchal-strongman-Sugar-Daddy culture that Kokui Nuga comes of age in. Like many women in Ghana at this time, Kokui faces the choice to find a wealthy husband or Sugar Daddy, or make her own way.

Togo

Kokui annually visits Togo, the country directly west of Ghana, to see her mother. Micheline left Ghana and returned to her native Togo after discovering her husband had three other wives and eight other children he had never told her about. In the novel, Togo represents the complex border that has divided this family—a nod to the political history between^[13] Ghana and Togo^[14]. Before Ghana and Togo gained Independence from their colonial occupiers (Ghana, in 1957 and Togo, in 1960), families lived on the coastal territory that had been contested for by the Germans, British, and French.  The national boundary that was internationally recognized when Ghana ultimately won what had been German Togoland and British Togoland didn’t sever the actual and felt familial ties, but they did change some of the ways the families could connect. Togo is where Micheline asserts her independence from her husband, but it is at the cost of her regular presence in her children’s lives.

United States

Like Ghana, the United States is a former British colony, and for Kokui, it represents her personal independence. In America, she is beyond the reach of her father and his influence—it’s where she believes she can be free to enjoy a marriage totally unlike her parents’ and build a future unfettered by the expectations her parents are pressuring her to conform to. But far from the familiarity and protections she enjoys in Ghana, Kokui realizes that her new marriage and life pose their own unique challenges. The U.S. becomes a symbol of the realities of what it can mean to chart a completely new course, including the unforeseen challenges, disappointed hopes, and many culture shocks.  

STYLE

The novel begins with “A Record of Nuga Marriages” written in the style of a family genealogy in the bible. Instead of “Mawuli begat” so-and-so, it is “Mawuli and so-and-so marry,” with a note about the type of marriage it is.  Everything that happens from this record to “The Last Will and Testament of Festus Mawulawoe Nuga” helps the reader understand the push and pull between the affairs of the heart and their legal ramifications.

POINT OF VIEW

Though the title of the novel is in first-person (my parents’ marriage), the novel is written in third-person limited, which means the narrator is able to tell us what one character—in this case, the protagonist Kokui—is thinking, feeling, and doing. The disparity between the POV of the title and the POV of the story underscores the personal nature of the narrative. The narrator bares Kokui’s motivations with a vulnerability and candor that is not always flattering. As a result, she is not a classic heroine with mostly admirable qualities. She is revealed as naïve, impulsive, judgmental, obsessive, not academically strong, and a bit spoiled by her privilege even as her heart and her determination shine through.  

ALLUSIONS

“I can’t compete with Cinyras o.”

Kokui had no idea what he was talking about, but she was clear that this server was flirting with her. She respected his ambition. “Cinyras?”

“The hero in Greek mythology. He slept with his daughter.”

– from Chapter 5

As Boris explains to Kokui, Cinyras is a mythical Greek king of Cyprus who had an incestuous relationship with his daughter Myrrha who sleeps with him to get back at her mother. It evokes the complicated feelings of admiration and revulsion Kokui has for her father, and her similarly conflicting feelings of respect for and resentment / jealousy of her mother’s physical independence from her father, as well as her feelings of pity and responsibility associated with her mother’s decision to stay married to her father to secure Kokui and her sister’s inheritance.

“Eh-heh. And what does paper do?” He didn’t wait for her to answer. “We communicate with it. We pass information with it. It’s how we teach. How we’ve recorded life for thousands of years, from Egypt to China to Rome. Birth. Death. Business. Marriage. Paper outlives it—and us—all, Kokui. It tells the generations we will never meet how we lived, and that we lived. It’s not just paper. It’s proof of life!”

– from Chapter 6

In a lecture to his daughter, paper mill mogul Mawuli Nuga is deliberate about the reminder that paper and written expression were happening in Africa before making their way to Europe. In doing so, he is challenging stereotypes of savage, illiterate Africans in need of education and enlightenment from European benefactors, and he is situating his own story in a wider historical context. Though he made his fortune after a German paper mill magnate gave him the seed money for his business, Mawuli is making clear that his success is independent of this investment.      

They waited for her car to leave before trooping down the stairs. On the veranda in front of the house, Sister Eyram paced back and forth, balancing baby Kofi on her back with a tightly wrapped cloth. “Ameka fa dzedze vi, lo?” She sang the lullaby’s question and crooned the answer. “Isn’t it my Kofi who is perfect? Isn’t it my Kofi who is worthy?”

– from Chapter 8

Sister Eyram is singing the traditional Ewe lullaby from Togo “Toboli (Dzedzevi),” which you can listen to here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oK0O97BFp44. The lyrics are:

 Ameka fa dzedze vi, lo?

(Whose perfect child is this?)

Toboli

(My chubby baby)

Ne ‘gagblẽ gɔ̃ hã, nye dzi

(Even if he is spoiled, he’s mine)

Toboli

(My chubby baby)

Ne ‘ganyo gɔ̃ hã, nye dzi

(When he is good, he’s mine)

Toboli

(My chubby baby)

Mègafa avi le zã me nam o

(Don’t cry in the night for me)

Toboli

(My chubby baby)

Nane la’xo gbe le asi wó nam lo

(Something might take your voice away from me)

Toboli

(My chubby baby)

Devinye lo

(Oh, my child)

Toboli

(My chubby baby)

“Their mother had properties all over Accra. Ei, Auntie Christie! They used to call her ‘Auntie Shika’ because of her wealth and generosity. She gave loans to plenty people, and she gave plenty time for them to repay, but there were some jealous ones.

– from Chapter 8

“Shika” is the Ga word for money or gold, but the word is universally understood in Ghana since “sika” translates to the same in Akan and Ewe.

“Boris, we are going to America! New York! Alice Annum will greet us at the airport. Marvin Gaye will drive us to your cousin’s place. We’ll have lunch with Diana Ross.”

– from Chapter 10

Kokui makes mention of three stars of the time: global singing superstars Marvin Gaye and Diana Ross, and international sports star Alice Annum. Annum is a Ghanaian sprinter nicknamed “Baby Jet” who was active in the ‘60s and ‘70s. She participated in the Olympics in Tokyo in 1964, in Mexico in 1968, and Germany in 1972 where she placed in the top 10. She earned gold, silver and bronze medals in the All-Africa and British Commonwealth Games during the period between 1965 and 1974. Kokui notes Alice Annum in particular in direct reference to her earlier thought in Chapter 6: “Only top athletes and musicians seemed able to make their way to America from Ghana. “   

As Mawuli told it, his mother read the Bible and the other literature that arrived at Uncle Festus’s shop like they were storybooks. She mooned over the Scripture’s romances, in particular, Abram and Sarai’s, and the triangle they had forced their young maid Hagar into, most capturing her imagination. In their story, God bestowed them each with new names pregnant with the promise of a future divorced from their past. Eleanor Kekeli wondered what might be possible for her if she had a new name.

– from Chapter 26

For modern readers and contemporary Western readers, polygamy might seem an alien concept only practiced in African and Middle Eastern societies. This Bible reference to Abram, Sarai, and Hagar’s fraught triangle reminds that the Bible, the teachings of which many Western societies are built, features a host of faith heroes who had multiple wives and concubines. Moreover, the turn of phrase “pregnant with the promise of a future” refers to the promise God gives Abram and Sarai that, though barren, they will bear children from their bodies.

When Auntie Abui, or FirstandLast, as Sister Eyram and the kids called her behind her back, learned that Mawuli had married another woman, she gave up.

    – from Chapter 28

Refers to one of the Biblical names of God: “Thus saith the Lord the King of Israel, and his redeemer the Lord of hosts; I am the first, and I am the last; and beside me there is no God.” (Isaiah 44:6-8) and “I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end, the first and the last.” (Revelation 22:13). The nickname is Sister Eyram and the kids’ snide way of saying Auntie Abui acted like she was God because she was the first wife and the mother of Mawuli’s firstborn son. 

“Mawu li nam nu ga lo. Mawu li nam nu ga kpi. Mawu li nam nu ga lo. Mawu li nam nu ga vivi. Indeed, God has done great and mighty things for you and for me”

– from Chapter 32

This song Sister Eyram sings at Mawuli’s burial plays on his name. “Mawuli” means “There is God” or “God is,” and she is expressing thanks to God for the gift that her cousin was to the family. It also echoes a quip Micheline makes about Mawuli’s family in Chapter 4:

Micheline released her daughters. “I only just sent Afi to her house. She was here to cook and serve you. What kept you people?”

“The Nuvis wouldn’t let us leave,” Kokui said. She did not want to spend this week managing her mother’s reaction to her father’s latest indiscretion.

“Of course not,” Micheline said. “It was the annual visitation of their god. Mawu li nam nu ga lo.”

GLOSSARY OF KEY WORDS & EXPRESSIONS

• Abolo (pronounced ah-BOW-LOW) - a sweet, steamed patty made with a combination of rice and corn flours.
• Adɔdi (pronounced ah-Daw-DEE) – the Ewe word for clams
• Afyehyiapa (pronounced ahh-FIH-SHA-PA) – a greeting in the Akan language spoken during the Christmas season wishing the hearer a good New Year.
• Afyenkɔbɛtuyɛn (pronounced ahh-FIN-KAW-beh-TOO-YEN) – the usual response to “Afyehyiapa”; this Akan phrase means “May the New Year meet us.”
• Boubou (pronounced bu-BOO) – the Wolof (spoken in Senegal) word for the loose-fitting, flowing, ankle-length dress often embellished with embroidery worn in many African countries
• Bronya (pronounced BRO-NYAH) – the Akan word for Christmas
• Chichinga (pronounced chih-CHEEN-GAH) – This word for skewered kebab meat is likely derived from the Hausa language spoken across West Africa.
• Duku (pronounced doo-koo) – the Akan word for head scarf
• Fufu (pronounced foo-FOO) – a staple of many West African diets made by pounding boiled yam, cassava and/or plantains into a smooth, sticky ball
• Grasscutter – a West African cane rat popularly enjoyed as a bushmeat delicacy in Ghana
• Groundnut – another word for peanut
• Efo (pronounced AY-foe)– the Ewe word for “brother;” a respectful term to address a male family member.
• Enyonam (pronounced Ain-YO-nahm) – An Ewe name or expression that means “It’s enough for me.”
• Ewò (pronounced AY-woe) – in Ewe, a firm way to say “you.”
• Ɛyɛ sɛ (pronounced eh-YEH sehh) - an imperative statement in the Akan language meaning “it’s a must”
• Eyram (pronounced AY-yi-RAM) – An Ewe name or expression that means “He blessed me.”
• Homowo (pronounced haw-MAW- wor) – a festival celebrated by the Ga people of Ghana that literally means “to hoot or jeer at hunger” in commemoration of a time when their ancestors overcame a famine.
• Juju (pronounced JOO-Joo)  – a supernatural act or spell, usually associated with a mysterious evil occurrence, that may derive from the Hausa or French languages.
• Kaba (pronounced kah-BAH)  – the top of a two-piece West African outfit usually made of matching fabric and worn with a “slit” or form-fitting skirt (that usually has a slit for easier movement
• Kalayeyɔlei (pronounced KAH lah YAY yaw LEH) – the call, in the Ga language, of a seller hawking steaming balls of kenkey in Accra
• Kelewele (pronounced KAY-lay WAY-lay) – a spicy snack of cubed and fried ripe plantains
• Kenkey (pronounced ken-KAY) – a popular Ghanaian food made of fermented cornmeal balls steamed in corn husks or banana leaves
• Kente (pronounced ken-THAY or ken-TAY) – a Ghanaian textile traditionally hand-loomed using silk threads; it is most commonly believed to have been created by the Asante (Akan) people, but the Ewe people also assert origin noting that the Ewe word for thread “eka te” sounds like kente.     
• Knocking Ceremony – a customary marriage ritual practiced in many African societies that involves the groom’s family “knocking” at the bride’s family home to announce the groom’s desire to marry the bride  
• Kokui (pronounced kaw-KWEE) - A name given to the firstborn girl in some Ewe clans; it sounds like the Ewe expressions “nukoko” and “ɖi kokoe” which mean “laughter” and “makes me laugh,” respectively, a nod to Kokui’s whimsical, childlike nature
• Kwashiorkor (pronounced KAW-she-or-KOR) – native to the Ga language, it is the term to describe the extreme malnutrition of babies and small children
• Mami Wata (pronounced MAH-me Wor-THAH) – a transliteration of “Mama Water,” the deity worshiped in many African societies as a goddess of the waters; the African counterpart to the mermaid of marine societies around the world, Mami Wata is usually depicted as a woman with a fish tail and can be associated with good fortune, fertility, and seduction.
• Marché – French for “market,” in Togo, the markets not only sell consumer goods and foodstuffs, but offer items used for spiritual practices associated with the Vodun religion.
• Mawuli (pronounced Mah-WOO-LEE) – A name or expression that means “There is a God.” or “God is.”
• M’on di Bronya, wai. (pronounced MOON DEE BRO-NYAH, WHY.) – “You all eat well this Christmas.” Or “You all enjoy Christmas.”
• Nu ga (pronounced Noo-GAH) – “a big thing”
• Nu vi (pronounced Noo-VEE seh) – “a small thing”

• One Week Service – a ceremony honoring the life of a deceased person seven days after their death.

RELATED READING: COMPARATIVE TEXTS

My Parents’ Marriage: A Novel is in conversation with historical and contemporary fiction that explores polygamy, womanhood, colonialism, and the experiences of immigrants.

AUTHOR INTERVIEW

Provocative title. Why “My Parents' Marriage”?

When I first started dating my now husband, a lot of the disappointment and pain I had experienced in past relationships, or witnessed in different marriages around me as a kid, started to come up. I felt acutely anxious and fearful of repeating past mistakes. In that head space, I started hearing things differently when my friends and I would discuss our dating highs and lows. So much of what we were thinking about, and so many of the choices we were making, tracked back to the unions we had grown up around or those formative first loves. I wanted this book to create community for readers who wanted to acknowledge the impact of foundational relationships on their present life and relationship choices.  

What is My Parents' Marriage about? 

My Parents' Marriage is about Kokui Nuga, a young Ghanaian woman eager to forge a fresh path of freedom for herself. Traumatized by her father's flagrant philandering, and by her mother and stepmother's jockeying for his divided heart, Kokui is desperate to escape the shadow of her parents' marriage. She believes she has achieved this when she quickly falls for and marries Boris van der Puye, a man headed for university in the States who seems nothing like her wealthy, domineering dad, but not long after the couple moves to the U.S. to start their supposed grand new life of university studies,  Kokui realizes she is pushing against much more than her parents' turbulent union: She's battling a web of traditions, systems, and attitudes that conspire to empower the men in her life at the expense and dignity of the women. 

What do you mean by “a web of traditions, systems, and attitudes”?

Let’s start with traditions.

Kokui has grown up in a society where a man having multiple women is the norm. Her father has women all over the place, and polygyny is all around her, enshrined in the law.

Under Ghanaian law, there are three types of marriage:

1) Customary Marriage, which involves the man's presentation of a dowry to the woman's family, and entitles him to take multiple wives;

2) Mohammedan Marriage, which, according to Islamic law, also permits the man to take multiple wives;

and 3) Ordinance, instituted in 1884 under colonial rule. Nicknamed "white wedding", an ordinance marriage involves the filing and issuance of required paperwork to the satisfaction of a licensed marriage officer and is strictly monogamous.

A man is not legally allowed to marry another woman if he already has an Ordinance marriage on the books, but in practice, many men--including Kokui's father--exploit the Customary and Ordinance marital traditions to maintain different women and families, to the ultimate displeasure of the women.

You might conclude that it was the colonialist imposition of monogamous marriage that created this displeasure in women, but Akan proverbs like “If you have a thousand wives, you have a thousand problems” and “If you have ten wives, you have ten tongues” are just a few that acknowledge the upheaval and division of polygynous homes.

Kokui’s father’s exploiting of the Customary and Ordinance marital traditions has cleaved Kokui’s family in pieces, and shaken her own feelings of worthiness as a woman. She believes if she can find a man who loves only her and will be faithful to her, she will find her worth in that fidelity, but, of course, it’s not that simple.

Now, let’s talk systems.

My Parents' Marriage opens at the end of 1972, a year into the military-backed regime of Colonel Ignatius Acheampong. His government was known for creating a culture of gross graft and corruption called kalebule which, among other things, involved  using the nation’s purse to buy lavish presents to their wives and extra-marital girlfriends. Being a woman at this time, the message was clear: find a rich and powerful man and you’re set—setting up a system where wealthy, powerful, usually older married men, took and paraded young women as girlfriends on the side as symbol of their largesse and manliness.

Finally, let’s talk attitudes.

Patriarchy is a global phenomenon, additionally, the men in Kokui’s life are domineering and authoritative grew up under the same traditions and systems as she did. Kokui’s father controls and betrays women with his commanding personality and his money so when she connects with Boris, who doesn’t have money or an authoritarian demeanor, she thinks “I’ve found my unicorn!” But once she and Boris are in the States, Kokui finds that he, and his cousin Sammy who they go and live with, are also trying to dominate the women in their lives.  Boris wants to commandeer Kokui’s life choices, from the type of employment she should seek to the course of study she should pursue, while Boris’s cousin Sammy  takes a more brazen and violent approach on his wife Frema.

You’re touching upon Ghanaian history and philosophy to tell a universal tale of trying to find a lasting love partner. How did you approach researching this book?  

I read Ghanaian proverbs about marriage and love.  I read Ghanaian marriage law cases.

I read old papers from foreign advocacy groups trying to determine whether they had a right to advocate for Ghanaian women caught up in lawsuits because their husbands had died with Ordinance and Customary wives leaving a morass of inheritance issues because they didn’t want to impose Eurocentric cultural ideals on Africans.

You mentioned that  colonialism didn’t necessarily cause this angst with respect to marriages, but it sounds like it did.

The British came in to exploit for their own benefit. In some cases, they propped up traditional royal systems, in others they imposed change. It’s incredibly messy because you have a society and a people trying to reconcile traditional customs and beliefs alongside European influence and British colonial rule. In a way, it’s own kind of “marriage”—one that wasn’t entered into on equal, or willing, footing and required a violent separation that ultimately left a complex legacy, to say the least.

That said, I don’t think we can take away agency from the particular actors in particular situations. The men in the book choose patriarchy. They pick and choose the traditions they want to adhere to and the European ideas they want to adopt. And it’s not just linked to the customs or marriage, but it’s in every area of life. Again, patriarchy is not unique to Ghanaian traditions or society. It’s a global phenomenon.

What was the hardest thing about writing this book?

The hardest thing about writing My Parents’ Marriage was finding the line where the personal becomes universal. This book is not about me or my parents, but it is personal to me.

It was also hard to wrestle with these ideas of colonial impact on Ghanaian and, for the purposes of this book, Togolese society. Kokui comes from the Ewe people who straddle Ghana and Togo and Benin and while in Ghana at least 70% of the citizens are Christian, in Togo, where Kokui’s mother is from, traditional African religions thrive. That is also a tension in Kokui’s parents’ marriage. Her father is Christian and has raised the kids in the church, but her mother goes to the marché to see the fetish priest when she needs answers. Her father does not want his kids going to the fetish priest. But there’s a scene in the book when Kokui goes to look for a priest to give her something she can take to guarantee her marriage will be successful. What she encounters is the priest’s sister who has taken over for him in the wake of his death. When Kokui explains what she has come to the priestess for, she expects the woman to prescribe a sacrifice of some sort. Maybe bring a chicken and we’ll take it from there. Instead, the woman speaks to her of Christ’s blood sacrifice. It leaves Kokui bewildered, and disappointed. She laments that things have changed, but truth is so much is changing around her and she must decide which changes she wants to adopt for herself.  

What do you want readers to take away after reading your novel?

What I most want readers to take away from My Parents’ Marriage is that we can have what we don’t see. We all confront a legacy of baggage we didn’t pack when we are born into this world, and into our families, but we don’t have to continue a cycle that’s harmful to us because that’s all we’ve seen around us. We have the right to want more, and we have the right to advocate for ourselves to get it.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

punished for her inability to handwash her clothes and bedding, and is targeted for her foreign accent and provisions. The truth is she feels inherently better than Ghana and her Ghanaian schoolmates.

Where does this cultural and national superiority complex come from? As the narrative transports the reader from the U.K. to Ghana to the U.S., where her father lives with his new wife and their children, Lila grapples with this question in addition to her unresolved feelings about her parents’ transcontinental split. Loosely based on Brew-Hammond’s experience leaving Queens, New York at twelve years old for boarding school in Saltpond, Ghana, Publishers Weekly called Powder Necklace “a winning debut.”

Twelve years after the release of Powder Necklace came Brew-Hammond’s first children’s picture book for color lovers ages 4-8 and up: Blue: A History of the Color as Deep as the Sea and as Wide as the Sky (Knopf BFYR). Illustrated by Caldecott Honor Artist Daniel Minter, Blue charts the fascinating history of the human quest to recreate the color of the sky and the sea, from Afghanistan (where the lapis lazuli stone is believed to have been first mined) to the shores of the Mediterranean (where a sea snail was harvested for the blue drops it produced) to India, Nigeria and the U.S. (where indigo was integral to the economy) to Germany (where scientist Adolf von Baeyer developed a synthetic formula for indigo that won him the Nobel Prize in 1905).

Blue was honored with the 2023 NCTE Orbis Pictus Award® recognizing excellence in the writing of non-fiction for children, and named to the 2023-2024 Texas Bluebonnet Master List and the American Library Association’s 2023 Notable Children’s Book Award list. It was included among the best books of 2022 by The Center for the Study of Multicultural Literature, Bank Street College of Education, New York Public Library, NPR, Chicago Public Library, Kirkus Reviews, and more. It also earned nominations for an NAACP Image Award, a Georgia Children’s Book Award, and a New Jersey Library Association Garden State Children’s Book Award.  

^[22]

Brew-Hammond followed Blue with Relations: An Anthology of African and Diaspora Voices (HarperVia). The collection, well-suited for advanced high school readers, university students, and up, features original stories, essays, and poems written by thirty-two writers hailing from, based in, or moving between Botswana, Canada, Chad, Côte d’Ivoire, Democratic Republic of the Congo, Egypt, Equatorial Guinea, Gambia, Ghana, Jamaica, Kenya, Libya, Mauritius, Namibia, Nigeria, São Tomé and Principe, Senegal, South Africa, Sudan, Togo, Uganda, the U.K., the U.S., Western Sahara, Zambia, and Zimbabwe. Covering urgent and timeless topics from sexual tourism to brain drain, femicide to government corruption, infidelity to the complicated relationship between Africans and Diasporans, the book earned a starred review from Kirkus, which described it as “a smart, generous collection.”  

Her latest book, also for advanced high school readers, university students and up, is My Parents’ Marriage: A Novel (Amistad). The story tackles polygyny, colonialism and womanhood through the lens of Ghana’s marriage laws. Featured in New York Times’ “Also Out Now” column, BrittlePaper.com and The Boston Globe named it among the most notable books of 2024.

Brew-Hammond’s short fiction for adult readers is included in the anthologies Accra Noir^[23] (Akashic), Africa39^[24] (Bloomsbury), New Daughters of Africa^[25] (Myriad Editions), Everyday People^[26] (Atria), and Woman’s Work.  

Also a poet, Brew-Hammond was commissioned by the curators of Brooklyn Museum’s “Africa Fashion” exhibit to pen and perform an original poem for the museum’s companion short film of the same name.

Every month, Brew-Hammond co-leads a writing fellowship whose mission is to write light into the darkness. Learn more at nanabrewhammond.com.

SAMPLE LESSONS

LESSON 1: KEY IDEAS AND DETAILS; COMPREHENSION AND COLLABORATION; PRESENTATION OF KNOWLEDGE AND IDEAS

Objective: In conversation, scholars will analyze a claim in the text, and express their responses to the claim respectfully, clearly, and persuasively using text evidence.

Materials: “Student friendly” copies of passages from My Parents’ Marriage: A Novel

Warm Up Question: What makes a person powerful?

Claim: “Mawuli Nuga was rich, handsome, and magnetic. Men with that trinity of power could do whatever they wanted to whomever.”

Text Evidence:

-In Chapter 2, Mawuli’s wife keeps silent when a woman drops off a baby at their home and declares the baby is his.

-In Chapter 3, when ordered out of his car by officers of the law, Mawuli refuses, threatens them, and throws a bribe at them before driving off.

-In Chapter 5, Mawuli’s army officer friends express fear of him catching them with his daughters; Kokui muses that just like her father those army officers disrespect people flagrantly because they have money.

-In Chapter 11, Kokui muses that her extended family disrespected her mother because “Mawuli financed their lives. It was his house they lived in. His money that had paid for the bus and driver that had brought them to Accra and the one that would take them back home.”

-In Chapter 12, Mawuli cuts off his foreman while he I speaking and threatens to fire him if he doesn’t comply with suggestions that are outside the scope of his job.

-In Chapter 26, the hospital where Mawuli’s body is being prepared for burial makes an exception and allow Kokui and her sister are allowed to privately view his body because of his philanthropy.

 -In Chapter 33, it’s revealed that Mawuli specifically requested that his wives be told they are disinvited from listening to the reading of his will.

Question: How does Mawuli use his power for good? How does Mawuli abuse his power?

Closing: What are some ways power can be checked and/or incentivized to do good?

LESSON 2: KEY IDEAS AND DETAILS; COMPREHENSION AND COLLABORATION; INTEGRATION OF KNOWLEDGE AND IDEAS

Objective: In conversation, scholars will integrate and evaluate content presented in diverse media and formats.

Materials: “Student friendly” copies of passages from My Parents’ Marriage: A Novel and What is the Declaration of Independence? by Michael C. Harris

Warm Up Question: What challenges and choices come with living under someone else’s authority?

Class Activity: Whole class will read Chapter 2 of What is the Declaration of Independence? by Michael C. Harris.

Besides taxing colonists, King George did other things that made the situation in America grow even more tense. In 1761 he ordered a renewal of the Writs of Assistance, which were a kind of search warrant. British customs officers and soldiers were allowed to search shops, warehouses, and even people’s homes. This was to make sure colonists were only buying things made in Great Britain or by the British. If goods from other countries were found, the shopkeeper or homeowner had to pay a fine to the king.

The colonists were furious. It was one thing to search a warehouse or even a shop, but searching people’s homes was an outrage! James Otis, a lawyer from Massachusetts, went to court. He tried to get the searches stopped. He is often credited with one of the most important lines in American history: “Taxation without representation is tyranny.” This idea—that it’s completely wrong to tax people without letting them have a voice in the matter—would become a rallying cry for the American colonists.

But King George III didn’t seem to care what the colonists thought. He needed more and more money, so Great Britain’s Parliament passed more and more taxes on the colonies. The Sugar Act of 1764 hit the colonists hard. It was a tax on all sugar, molasses, wine, rum, and even some lumber and iron. Every home in the colonies used sugar every single day.

The sugar tax hurt the economy of the colonies. Rum was big business in the colonies, as it was used to trade for African slaves. Lumber and iron were important businesses, too—and they were heavily taxed now. But Great Britain couldn’t care less—it wanted as much money as it could get out of colonists. Later the same year, Parliament passed the Currency Act. Before this, the American colonies printed their own money. It was used to buy everyday goods. The Currency Act forced Americans to use British money.

This angered the colonists because their colonial money was now worthless. People in the colonies took to the streets to protest against the king and Parliament. But this was only the beginning—can you believe it gets worse?

The Stamp Act of 1765 was like an explosion in the American colonies.

Up until the Stamp Act, Americans mostly paid taxes to Great Britain on items sold to other countries. For example, if a merchant in Pennsylvania sold lumber to a Spanish company, the Pennsylvania company had to pay Great Britain a tax on that sale. But any lumber that the Pennsylvania merchant sold to other colonial customers was not taxed.

But with the Stamp Act, colonist paid a tax on items sold in America.

For instance, anything printed on paper—newspapers, contracts, wills, even playing cards—had to have a British stamp. And there was a price for the stamp. If a newspaper cost one pence before the Stamp Act, afterward it cost two pence. The Stamp Act affected every colonist. And all of them hated it.

Riots broke out across the colonies. In Boston, a man named Samuel Adams urged colonists to fight back. First they stormed the office of the British tax commissioner. (The tax commissioner collected all taxes for Great Britain.) Then protesters went to his home. He was so frightened by the crowd that he quit his job the very next day. In New York, two thousand angry colonists ransacked the house of British major Thomas James. Why? He boasted that he would ram the Stamp Tax down colonists’ throats at the point of a sword.

It was only after colonists stopped buying British goods that Parliament ended the Stamp Act. The plan had backfired.

Did that end the trouble? No!

King George and Parliament came up with a new tax scheme. It was called the Townshend Acts. These 1767 acts taxed all colonial paint, oil, and glass. And one other thing: tea.

Again, people in the colonies rebelled. They protested in the streets and they boycotted—meaning they refused to buy—British goods.

This was hard on many households. Only the British sold certain things that most colonial families depended on. It was not easy to give these things up. What colonists minded the most was doing without tea.

Tea was a favorite drink the colonies. Even though it was expensive, most colonists were regular tea drinkers. Boiling water was a common way to purify water. So in every cup of tea, colonists were drinking both clean water and a delicious-tasting beverage.  

Most tea came to America on British ships that had first picked it up in other parts of the world. Now colonists found ways to get tea illegally. Some tea was shipped in from other countries without British authorities ever finding out. Some tea was grown in America, including teas made of mint or chicory.

The colonists agree to tough it out and continue the boycott. It was important to make the king and Parliament understand how fed up they were over these taxes.

Eventually, the boycott was a success. Or mostly a success. Once again Great Britain was losing too much money. So Parliament did away with the taxes on glass, paper, and sugar in 1770. In fact, they got rid of almost everything in the Townshend Acts. Only one tax was left in place: the tax on tea. Surely the colonists would see how reasonable the king and the British government were being.

Discussion: The United States was once a collection of thirteen colonies ruled by Britain.

Based on the text, what challenges did the people living in the colonies face living under the authority of the king and Parliament? What choices did they make based on their situation?

Class Activity: Whole class will read excerpt of My Parents’ Marriage: A Novel.

Achimota was one of Accra’s oldest communities, carved out of the Achimota Forest that grew on the edge of the city. The dense woodland gave the neighborhood its name, but the area would go on to become synonymous with The Achimota School that cleared a large portion of it. Opened in 1927 as the Prince of Wales School at Achimota, the school’s erection reflected a new generation of Gold Coasters who had only known colonial government.

They saw the British section off wide swaths of land to live four or five people in one family, in homes sized like compound houses traditionally fit for four or five families. They watched them send their children to mission schools that prepared them for a world of opportunity dominated by the sunset-defying British Empire. And they decided these minority tyrants could only be beaten by joining them. The resident colonial government stood to benefit, too. Linking arms with an amenable class of Gold Coasters eager to seize the spoils of their own country, and that of the crown that had colonized their tastes, would postpone the organizing push for Independence a little bit longer.

Mawuli Nuga, a businessman and his wife Abui, a cloth trader, were members of this ascendant class. Shortly after Mawuli returned from Germany with the seed money to open Nuga & Heirs, he and Abui were part of the small wave who bought plots and built homes in Achimota, and sent their kids to the school started by an education activist from the Gold Coast, an Anglican vicar from Britain, and the then-Governor seeking to “do something useful both for the Empire and for the natives of Africa”.

Within a year of the Achimota move, Mawuli moved in a pregnant Rebecca Laryea, the caterer who held the contract to run the canteen that served all of the government ministries. A year later, he brought home Hannah Koomson, an assistant to the chief aide to the new acting Gold Coast governor, and their baby girl Connie. More children began to fill the house, quickly outgrowing their mothers’ suites to occupy the pair of dormitory-style rooms on the other side of the second floor from Mawuli’s bedroom. Mawuli sent for his cousin Eyram to live with him as the children’s caretaker. A compound family, in a house designed for an Ordinance union.

Before Kokui had known any of this, before she knew her father kept a second home in Achimota with his eight other children and three other wives, Kokui would sit in her mother’s car on the drive to Achimota Primary, watching the whitewashed bungalows and two-story colonials of the predominantly British-settled enclave she lived in with her parents and sister give way to the cultural blur more prominently pronounced in the wider city architecture.

There was the bougainvillea-pink apartment building with the leaf green shutters. There was the sprawling three-story storehouse on a raised foundation buttressed by slim columns resemblant of masquerade stilts. And there was the sky blue chalet with the thatch-reminiscent corrugated iron sheet roof advertising office space to let, among others. It all culminated with her mother slowing the car in front of the Achimota School’s three-story administration building, a beacon of British colonial design with its shutter-trimmed windows, porticos, and clock tower steeple—standing on ground that had once given the earliest known Achimotans refuge from slavery.

When Kokui went to live in Achimota, she heard the legends of the area’s first settlers, people chased into hiding from Upper Volta and Cote d’Ivoire, escaping slave catchers. More than five generations later, Mawuli hid there, too, with three wives—for more than twelve years before Micheline discovered the truth—chased by what or who, Kokui never knew. In some ways, everyone in the Achimota house was hiding from something. Each wife, from the truth there was nothing they could do to make Mawuli love only them. The children, from the pain, shame and rage their stepmothers unleashed on them instead of Mawuli.

Discussion: Ghana, formerly known as the Gold Coast, was once a British colony ruled by a Governor who represented The King, and then the Queen, of England. Based on the text, what challenges did the people living in the Gold Coast face living under British authority? What choices did they make based on their situation?

Closing: How are the people in authority changed by the choices of the people they rule over?

LESSON 3: INTEGRATION OF KNOWLEDGE AND IDEAS 

Objective: Scholars will integrate and evaluate content presented in diverse media and formats, then present a response to the content supported by text evidence and related information.

Materials: Video clip, “Student friendly” copies of passages from My Parents’ Marriage: A Novel

Warm Up Activity: Teacher will ask questions about marriage laws to elicit class

discussion.

-Why do you think governments make laws that define marriage?  

-What do you think informs the laws a government makes about marriage in its society?

-Do you think it’s important that the government defines marriage? Why (not)?

-What are the advantages of having a legally recognized union?

-Why do you think some governments offer specific advantages to married couples?

Direct Instruction:

Under Ghanaian law, there are three types of marriage:

1. Customary, which involves the man's presentation of a dowry to the woman's family, and entitles the man to take multiple wives;
2. Mohammedan, a union between Islamic partners, entitles the man to take multiple wives; and
3. Ordinance, nicknamed “white wedding,” which requires the filing and issuance of required paperwork to the satisfaction of a licensed marriage officer, and is strictly monogamous.

Class Activity:

Whole class will watch the clip “Are you legally married? // How to legally stop your spouse from marrying another. // #ghana https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VrEtOgjiN7Y 

Whole class will read the prologue “A Record of Nuga Marriages” as an audio clip of the passage plays.

Question:

-Based on Lawyer Tina’s explainer, who is the lawful wife of Mawuli Nuga?

Whole class will read short passage from Chapter 4 )pasted below), as an audio clip of the passage plays:

“Ma, why don’t you leave Daddy and remarry?”

“Re marry?” She sliced the word into two, seemingly considering the question for the first time in her life. “Marry who again?” She shook her head. “No.”

“Why?” Kokui emptied her chest of breath, overcome with sadness for her mother. “Because you love Daddy?”

“Should I let him give another woman what I’ve earned?”

“What have you earned, Ma?”

“As long as I am around, what he has is yours. The others have divorced him. Their kids have left the country.”

“They’re still his children, Ma. And he is married to Auntie Hemaa, too.”

“Hemaa has no children.”

“Have you spoken with Daddy about this?” Who knew how Mawuli would decide to divide his estate in his will, Kokui thought, or if there wasn’t some other wife somewhere with children who could also stake a claim? “He can leave his things to whoever he wants to.”

“Don’t worry about what my husband and I speak about.”

Assessment: Based on the video and  the readings, what are the differences between the rights of husbands and wives in Ghanaian marriages? Why do you think the laws are set up in this way?

Closing: Do you think marriage laws are shaped by a society’s attitudes and beliefs—or do laws influence how people in a society view marriage? Do you think the laws should change if the society’s views evolve?

LESSON 4: CRAFT AND STRUCTURE 

Objective: Scholars will interpret words and phrases as they are used in the text, including determining technical, connotative, and figurative meanings, and analyze how specific word choices shape meaning or tone.

Materials: “Student friendly” copies of passage from My Parents’ Marriage: A Novel

Warm Up Activity: Teacher will ask questions about marriage laws to elicit class

discussion.

Direct Instruction:

Under Ghanaian law, there are three types of marriage:

1. Customary, which involves the man's presentation of a dowry to the woman's family, and entitles the man to take multiple wives;
2. Mohammedan, a union between Islamic partners, entitles the man to take multiple wives; and
3. Ordinance, nicknamed “white wedding,” which requires the filing and issuance of required paperwork to the satisfaction of a licensed marriage officer, and is strictly monogamous.

Class Activity:

Whole class will read passage of My Parents’ Marriage: A Novel from Chapter 30:

At the Nuvis’, Efo Cletus, Sister Eyram and Antony sat enthroned on a panel of chairs in the sitting room, Micheline on the three-seater opposite them reviewing the funeral poster. Kokui couldn’t tell if the pained look on her mother’s face was from mourning or frustration.  

“Come and sit.” Micheline called her daughters in. “We are discussing the funeral arrangements.”

She passed them a sample of the funeral program flyer. Next to wife, only Micheline’s name was listed.

“We’ve already left the body too long. I know you all are Accra people,” Efo Cletus said as Kokui and Nami flanked their mother, “but our tradition calls for us to do the burial, then the funeral, then the kɔnuwɔwɔwo, then—”

        Micheline inhaled. “Efo Cletus, what you are describing is all going to be money. Since I am fronting the costs, let’s keep things simple as I had suggested. Burial on Friday. Funeral on Saturday. Thanksgiving service on Sunday. Finish.”

        Efo Cletus’s nostrils doubled in diameter. “My brother was not a simple man,” he said. “Aside that, you know we will get donations to cover all the costs and even leave us with profit.”

        “Let’s focus on ensuring a profit,” Antony said.

        “You know your brother was an E.P. Church man,” Micheline said. “He didn’t agree with libations, except to drink them himself.”

        “Faaa!” Efo Cletus sprang from his chair, the legs scraping the floor with his movement. “You, the traditional wife, are fighting his Christian wife for your children’s rights, but you want to go around the custom? Decide for yourself what it is you want to do and tell me, since you are the one ‘fronting the costs’.”  

Micheline sucked her teeth. “Which custom? Was I there when you all were creating your customs and traditions so you could bed as many women as you like whether in church or in the village? In fact, you wear your customs like costumes—when you don’t like one, you switch to the other, mixing and matching to suit yourselves.

“Me, the custom I fell into when I married my husband was love,” Micheline said. “I loved the man, not knowing he had pledged himself to many others, and when I learned the truth, I bound myself only for my children. I will get for them what I stayed for.”

“We all have to get something out of this,” Antony said.

         Sister Eyram jabbed the air between her and Mawuli’s second born son. “Ewò Antony, you have gotten plenty.” Sister Eyram turned to Micheline. “Sister, you have to play your part wisely, else that witch will take everything from us.”

Questions:

-What is happening in this scene?

-What are some key words and phrases that stand out to you? Why?

-Why do you think the narrator tells us “Efo Cletus, Sister Eyram and Antony sat enthroned on a panel of chairs” while Micheline sits “on the three-seater opposite them”? What does this seating arrangement mean?

-Why do you think Efo Cletus is offended by Micheline’s statement that she is “fronting the costs?”

-What does “tradition” mean to Efo Cletus? Why?

-What does “tradition” mean to Micheline? Why?

-What does “love” mean to Micheline?

-Why do you think the Micheline uses the words “customs” and “costumes” in the way she does?

-Why do you think Sister Eyram uses the words “sister” and “witch” in the way she does?

Assessment: Citing text evidence, write an essay explaining how class and gender intersect with tradition to empower and disempower each of the parties in the room.

ADDITIONAL DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

1. Why do you think Ghanaian law allows for three different types of marriage? Are any of the marriage styles familiar to you? How so?

2. What are the benefits and disadvantages of the different types of marriages, for the partners, the extended families, and the country?

3. Why does Baby Kofi’s mother curse Mawuli’s daughters and not him?

4. Why do the women in the novel rarely confront Mawuli to his face?

5. Why does Mawuli honor his mother and empower his daughters with education and financial resources, but disrespect his wives?

6. Why does Kokui’s mother Micheline react so adversely to Boris?

7. Why does Boris agree to marry Kokui in spite of his initial reservations?

8. Why does Mr. Koranteng support his wife’s business given that he calls it “woman’s matter”?

9. What role does money play in Kokui and Boris’ relationship before and after they marry?

10. How does immigration—Mawuli’s to Germany, Micheline’s to Ghana, Boris and Kokui’s to the U.S.—shape the lives of the characters?

11. Why is Kokui immediately disappointed by America / New York when she and Boris arrive?

12. Why do Sammy and Boris both feel indebted to each other?

13. Why are Amos and Boris puzzled by Kokui’s refusal to participate in the meat donation scam?

14. Why does Boris become impatient with Kokui when she tries to discuss Sammy and Frema’s marital troubles?

15. How does the abuse in Frema and Sammy’s marriage impact their daughter, Kokui, and Boris?

16. Why is it important to Kokui to call Sammy out when he flirts with another woman in front of her and Boris?

17. How does Kokui and Frema’s eventual friendship impact the women’s lives?

18. Based on the novel, what are the advantages and disadvantages of marriage?

19. Based on the novel, what are the advantages and disadvantages of being a wife?

20. Based on the novel, what are the advantages and disadvantages of being a mother?

21. Based on the novel, what are the advantages and disadvantages of being a single woman?

22. Based on the novel, what are the advantages and disadvantages of being a woman without children?

23. Based on the novel, what are the advantages and disadvantages of being a husband?

24. Based on the novel, what are the advantages and disadvantages of being a father?

25. Based on the novel, what are the advantages and disadvantages of being a single man?

26. Based on the novel, what are the advantages and disadvantages of being a man without children?

27. What role does gender play in the novel?

28. What roles do culture, ethnicity, and nationality play in the novel?

29. What role does law play in the novel?

30. How do gender, class, religion, culture and law intersect in the novel?

31. What are some ways Frema changes / grows by the end of the novel?

32. What are some ways Nami changes / grows by the end of the novel?

33. What are some ways Hemaa changes / grows by the end of the novel?

34. What are some ways Micheline changes / grows by the end of the novel?

35. What are some ways Boris changes / grows by the end of the novel?

36. What are some ways Kokui changes / grows by the end of the novel?

ADDITIONAL ESSAY QUESTIONS

1. The central question of the novel asks how troubles in a marriage impact the children.  Based on the novel, and your supporting research, how do you think a couple’s marital discord does or doesn’t affect children? Be sure to include conflicting viewpoints as well as your own.

2. My Parents’ Marriage: A Novel is set between 1972 and 1978. Write an essay explaining the historical context in which the narrative takes place. What is happening in Ghana, Togo, and the United States that contributes to who and how the characters are?

3. Mawuli has built his fortune on paper, a direct result of the global printing industry’s expansion and evolution to support religious and educational literature demands, and influenced by the increased use of paper in law and governance during and after colonialism. What role does paper play in the novel, both actually and symbolically?

4. Money is power in the novel, but not in the same ways. Based on the text, describe how gender, marital status, and other factors impact the power dynamics in the book.

5. Each of Mawuli’s wives are financially self-sustaining when they meet him and do not need him for economic reasons. What factors (cultural, legal, religious, etc) do you think influence many of them to stay with him through infidelity and betrayal? What factors do you think influence some of them to divorce him?

6. Christianity, traditional African religion, juju, witches, and curses have great influence on many of the characters. What role do religion and spirituality play in the narrative? How do different characters navigate the tensions found at the collision of these different spiritual worldviews?

7. From Mawuli’s time in Germany to Micheline’s move to Ghana to Boris and Kokui’s emigration to the U.S., immigration shapes the lives of the characters in profound ways. Choose one of the immigration stories and give us historical insight. What was going on in the character’s native country both economically, politically, and socially that prompted them to leave? What was the news of the day in the country the character moved to? How do race and ethnicity factor into the immigrant experience of the character(s)?  

8. The novel shows us a Ghanaian culture caught between tradition and modernity. What role does progress play in the novel? How does it help and hurt the characters?

9. Early in the story, Kokui wonders to herself “What did it mean to be a daughter when fathers betrayed mothers, and other men’s daughters?” And indeed the novel follows her as she seeks out the answer, but it’s clear her brother Antony is also hurting from his father’s infidelities. Based on the novel, what are the shared and differing ways female and male children are impacted by a culture that indulges men’s sexual pursuits?

10. Polygamy and infidelity are not the same thing, however, the novel reveals the blurred line between the two in the Nuga family. Based on the novel, and your supporting research, what are the differences in definition and practice?

11. Children offer social status in Ghanaian culture, yet Hemaa, Kokui, and Frema actively prevent themselves from getting pregnant, and both Micheline and Baby Kofi’s mother choose to live apart from their kids. Meanwhile, Sister Eyram has given her life to raising Mawuli’s children. Based on the novel, and your supporting research, what are the benefits and challenges of having children in contemporary Ghanaian society?  

12. Do you consider Mawuli to be an abusive spouse? Why / why not? Do you consider his wives and children to be victims? What are the differences between Mawuli’s marriages and that of Sammy and Frema’s?

13. What would Mawuli be without the women in his life? How, if at all, might he be different?

14. How might Mawuli’s wives’ lives be different if they had never met or married him?

ADDITIONAL CREATIVE WRITING ASSIGNMENTS

1. Do you think Kokui and Boris should stay married? Write a persuasive argument for or against, using evidence from the text.

2. What if Mawuli had not died when he did? Write a different ending for Chapter 25 detailing how you imagine the story would be different.

3. Domestic violence and infidelity have made Sammy and Frema’s marriage unstable and left their daughter feeling unsettled. Research the resources that were available to women  in abusive relationships in New York City in the 1970s and write a 1-2 page letter to Frema letting her know her options. Cite incidents from the novel in your note.

4. Rewrite Chapter 2 from Auntie Hemaa’s perspective.

5. You’re invited to the Nuga Family Reunion in 2025. Tell us who you are, why it’s happening, where It is, who’s there, who didn’t show up, how people are acting, what different family members are up to personally and professionally, what’s on the menu, what people are wearing, who’s dancing, who’s mean-mugging, etc, and how the gathering is making you feel.

6. Nelson, Evans and Sister Eyram have witnessed the Nuga family’s triumphs and traumas over the years. Choose one character and rewrite a chapter from their perspective.

7. Imagine Kokui’s daughter is writing a novel about her parents’ marriage. Write a one-page synopsis of the book.

8. Write a story imagining what happens to Baby Kofi in the wake of Mawuli’s death.

9. Have you ever experienced or witnessed infidelity or domestic abuse? Write a journal entry about how the experience made you feel and what you learned from it.

10. Write a journal entry detailing how your parents’ relationship and/or the relationships of other people in your life have influenced your views on romantic relationships, marriage, faithfulness, and commitment.