Dimension 20 LIVE
Fantasy High: Sophomore Year
Starring: Brennan Lee Mulligan as Dungeon Master
Emily Axford as Fig Faeth; Zac Oyama as Gorgug Thistlespring;
Siobhan Thompson as Adaine Abernant; Lou Wilson as Fabian Seacaster;
Ally Beardsley as Kristen Applebees; and Brian “Murph” Murphy as Riz Gukgak
Episode 20: Spring Break! I Believe In You!
(Part 2)
< [Previous Episode]
(upbeat rock music)
I just wanna be rich and get money and
burn this town to the ground
so listen up cuz I’m gonna start a riot and I
Don’t care if you see my underwear
front kick to the face
not a lady no grace and I
I like to think that I am the fucking best
so let’s go and make a mess
tear it up tear it down
Cause I wanna see fire rise to the sky
so pour the gasoline out
cause I wanna swim in gold and rival the stars
so get a match and throw it out
stand by me
paint the town with me
repeat after me
burn towns (burn towns)
burn towns get money
stand by me
paint the town with me
repeat after me
burn towns (burn towns)
burn towns get money
You don’t have to be rich to wreck shop
Just get a couple of friends
Who’ll stay with you ‘til the end
and head out to the
Wide world just your squad and your bass
carve it onto its face
That the sig figs were here
You know you best
and you’re better than the rest
fuck what other people say
tear it up tear it down
Cause I wanna see fire rise to the sky
so pour the gasoline out
cause I wanna swim in gold and rival the stars
so get a match and throw it out
stand by me
paint the town with me
repeat after me
burn towns (burn towns)
burn towns get money
stand by me
paint the town with me
repeat after me
burn towns (burn towns)
burn towns get money
Sometimes I miss the safety that towns bring
But then I remember I’m fucking rich, and I don’t need to live in a town
3, 4!
stand by me
paint the town with me
repeat after me
burn towns (burn towns)
burn towns get money
stand by me
paint the town with me
repeat after me
burn towns (burn towns)
burn towns get money
(light guitar music)
I'm feeling really bad and my van is a boat
I'm feeling really sad and my boat is a van
These feelings that I have like a frog in my throat
So I take Boggy by the hand and... Hey, are you my dad?!
Night Yorb is coming for us!
Night Yorb is coming for us!
Night Yorb is coming for us!
Zelda's feeling bad and my van is a boat
Zelda's feeling sad and my boat is a van
My girlfriend's really mad and she's also a goat
I'm fawning for a faun, I don't know what's going on
Night Yorb is coming for us!
Night Yorb is coming for us!
Night Yorb is coming for us!
Bad Kids, Bad Kids, sometimes we're the Sad Kids
I'm bad kid, I'm baa'd kid, I'm sorry for what I did
Bad Kids, Bad Kids, sometimes we're the Sad Kids
I'm bad kid, I'm baa'd kid, I'm sorry for what I did
Night Yorb is coming for us!
Night Yorb is coming for us!
Night Yorb is coming for us!
...and my van is a boat
I've been so many people,
More than you'll ever meet,
I've worn so many faces around
They now all go skin deep
I've made myself an expert
At letting myself fade away
Sometimes I can't help but fear
That I got lost in the haze
Light the pyre, baby
'Cause I'm not slowing down
I'm an actor, a liar
Spinning you around
I'm on fire, baby
Burning like a star
I'm an actor, a liar
And I've made it this far
I can't keep myself together
Everything goes wrong
Changing who I think I am
With each new tragic song
It's happening again
I see I've been here before
I know you so well, but as for myself
These days I'm still unsure
Light the pyre, baby
'Cause I'm not slowing down
I'm an actor, a liar
Spinning you around
I'm on fire, baby
Burning like a star
I'm an actor, a liar
I've made it this far
Can't tell the truth, can't let it slip
Here's what I want, here's how I get it
Can't tell the truth, can't stop the lies
It's fine, it's all part of my disguise
Can't feel a thing, can't be myself
I'm numb if I'm not someone else
Can't feel a thing, can't let it hurt
Those pretend feelings and empty flirts
So
Light the pyre, baby
'Cause I'm not slowing down
I'm an actor, a liar
Spinning you around
I'm on fire, baby
Burning like a star
I'm an actor, a liar
And I've made it this far
Yeah I'm an actor, a liar
Hope I don't go too far
(light guitar music)
the darkness closes in
and i am not myself tonight
surrounded i’m caged in
but i can’t help but feel delight
under night sky
in the moonlight
i’m seeing clearly
what’s a telescope but a spyglass pointed at the stars
it may bring them closer to our vision but not to our hearts
can you hear their song will you let it’s fire live inside of you
until your eyes burn bright
the phoenix comes alive tonight
i’m invisible but you see me
and for the first time i’m not thinking bout where else i’d rather be
and though you scare me
like i scare you
i’ve got a feeling it’d be scarier to run away
and truth
was never my strong suit
but i want you to know me
and i wanna know me too
i’ll go dancing in the flames
if it means i dance with you
and i’ll leave early from the party
if it means i leave with you
i’ll sign my pride away
if that’s what you want me to do
i can’t promise i won’t change
but i wanna change with you
what’s a telescope but a spyglass pointed at the stars
it may bring them closer to our vision but not to our hearts
can you hear their song will you let it’s fire live inside of you
until your eyes burn bright
the phoenix comes alive tonight
Brennan: Hello one and all, welcome back from our break in this mondo remote finale of Fantasy High Sophomore Year. This is Dimension 20 LIVE or as close to it as we could get. I'm your humble dungeon master Brennan Lee Mulligan. With me as always are our intrepid heroes. Say hi, intrepid heroes.
Players: Hi, intrepid heroes.
Brennan: Oh, we love it. Well, you guys know what's just been happening. Our Bad Kids are reunited in the heart of the Forest of the Nightmare King atop one of these islands of stone in a sea of mist with the forest growing out of the top. In the Celestial Gallery in this island, this insane, knotted, gnarled dark forest where we see celestials hung up and trapped like flies in a spider's web. Fig, Riz, and Gilear rush towards Ayda Aguefort.
Emily: I thought it was Fig, Gorgug, and Gilear.
Zac: It's Gorgug.
Brennan: Oh, sorry. I am incorrect, it is Fig, Gorgug, and Gilear. So the Cig Figs and their assistant rush (laughing) into the forest together.
Emily mimics the bass notes of the backing track.
Zac: We're on tour.
Brennan: On tour, baby.
Emily: We're on tour, baby. We should get a tour griffin instead of a tour van.
Brennan: (laughs) Are you guys flying on Baxter or no?
Zac: Yeah.
Emily: I thought we were but...
Brennan: Yes, cool, you guys take off on Baxter. Baxter doesn't even break the canopy. Baxter just stays within the trees zigging and zagging and flying through them as fast as possible. Obviously Baxter's still at 3 hit points, but—
Zac: I thought he got healed for 20 from—
Lou: 23.
Brennan: Ooh.
Siobhan: Oh yes.
Brennan: News to me, that's great. Okay, got healed for 20.
Emily: May I also, I've started going through, since we have an aerial view I'd also just like to keep an eye out for Sandra Lynn.
Brennan: Cool, give me a perception check.
Emily: Okay.
Zac: Can I look too?
Brennan: Yeah, go for it.
Emily: Ooh, 23.
Brennan: 23.
Zac: 16.
Brennan: 16. Fig, there is a moment as Baxter gets closer to the canopy where you just have a sudden feeling of dread. Like the last thing you'd wanna do would be to break the canopy right now. You continue flying through the woods. Gorgug, with that 16, as you guys approach, and again, Adaine and Fabian are rushing off towards Aelwyn. Riz and Kristen and going to go look for Tracker. You have this moment of dread like showing your face above the canopy right now would be dangerous, you also feel a change in pressure. The Infaethable Bass is attuned to energy damage, and you see that it kind of crackles with electricity for a moment in a very subtle way. Not like a big, flashy spell being cast but just a momentary bit of static almost. It's like a barometer as if the temperature is changing. Maybe the wind is moving in a different way. The air feels like it's hanging low with moisture and menace and darkness.
Emily: Is this from my Sandra Lynn perception? Is this related to that or is this just as we approach the sanctum?
Brennan: As you approach the sanctum you think.
Emily: Okay.
Brennan: You begin to move through and as you do so you get towards the Celestial Gallery. Your Perception is good, you have the feather so go ahead actually and roll Perception with advantage. And Gorgug, I'll tell you what you get on that 16 as well.
Emily: I got a 17 for Perception.
Brennan: Baxter continues to fly through and as Baxter does so you see that there, her arms up above her, mouth covered, her eyes still burning bright. Ayda is up in these bonds. Gorgug, on that 16 you look at see Zaphriel the Planetar nearby like off in the gallery. Baxter lands, Gilear jumps off. Ayda is up, bound, holding on to your earring, Fig. Her eyes look up at you and just streaks of flame come down her eyes. What does Fig do in this moment?
Emily: I'm beelining it, and I'm just gonna untie her. I don't care if that's reckless.
Fig: Hold me back, Gorgug, try.
Zac: I hold Fig back for a second and make an Insight check.
Gorgug: Let's just, I don't know, hang on, the Hangvan's here. That's what the Hangvan looks like.
Zac: Can I make an Insight check?
Brennan: Make an Insight check for me.
Zac: 19.
Brennan: Uh, 19. You look at Ayda. It is, you can categorically rule out that Ayda is related to you in any way. You give her a once-over real quick and you know for sure, not your dad, not your mom, not even really a cousin probably. So on a 19 that's what you get. Insight-wise though, you said 19?
Zac: Yes, 19.
(Lou laughs)
Brennan: The structure of the branches and everything here, there are a lot of branches that come out at strange angles almost like the trees had attempted to grow into unnatural angles. Like, trees don't want to have sharp 45-degree turns. They don't wanna do things like that. It's almost like the trees here were trying to look like the structures of rafters and roofs and a house.
Emily: Ah.
Zac: Are we in the sanctum?
Brennan: You may well be.
Emily: Oh.
Zac: I...
Emily: Let's maybe try to fly out and just if it, like real quick dip up then dip back down just to see what our mobility is.
Zac: Didn't you have the feeling that it would kill us?
Emily: Okay, then from here then why don't I from here 60ft away cast Shatter on Ayda's shackles.
Brennan: You boom, hit the outside of the shackles. The shackles come undone. You hit that chord on your bass. And as you do so you feel (mimics reverberations) magic reverberate around. Of anything actually that has happened thus far that appears to weaken the feeling that you're having in this moment. You see that Ayda snaps one arm out, snaps the other, grabs the thing, pulls out of the bonds, and as soon as she gets a hand free she Misty Steps. She appears in front of you.
Emily: Yeah!
Brennan: And she picks you up in her arms, twirls into the air, and kisses you right on the mouth.
Fig: Got there before I did, girl.
(group laughing)
Brennan: She looks at you—
Fig: Are you okay? Do you need heals or anything like that? I don't know what you've been through. I mean, I saw it a little bit. I scryed on you, not on purpose, not in an invasive way, really just to try to save you.
Brennan: You see, first of all she takes your earring and you see, clips it into her own ear. She goes,
Ayda: [heavy breathing] For safekeeping. I am okay.
Brennan: Give me an Insight check.
Emily: Okay. 18.
Brennan: Ayda is not possessed. She, a different thing happened to her than happened to your other allies. Her celestial heritage trapped her in this gallery of celestials, you think you, Gorgug, and Gilear and probably okay because as you're looking around at the captured entities you see they are all angelic. It very clearly is like, the servants of divine entities in the upper planes are what got captured here. You see, with a 19 insight also, you see that Ayda is, her legs are shaking and she is lying to you. She's saying she is okay 'cause she doesn't want you to be scared, but you can see many levels of exhaustion. She's a very powerful wizard so you don't think she's like, out for the count so to speak, but it is very clear that she has been straining herself against these bonds unyieldingly for days.
Fig: Okay, Ayda please, just sit on Baxter with me for a little bit just even for my sake.
Zac: Do you have a tincture?
Emily: Me? I don't.
Zac: I have one, I'm wondering if it makes sense 'cause they're like technically, I don't know if it's—
Emily: Yeah, let's give her a Greater Restoration 'cause she has exhaustion.
Zac: I'm not sure, is it the same thing as a Greater Restoration for sure? I wasn't—
Siobhan: No.
Brennan: When Kristen does it, it removes Kalina from it as well. But you see, Ayda goes to sit on Baxter. She looks up, she's crying so hard. She looks up and says,
Ayda: (sighs) I told you that if you ever spoke my name while holding my feather I would come, I heard it every time. I'm sorry, to— A wizard should come when their name is said and to a gift they'd given, I'm very, very, sorry.
Fig: Yeah, but a wizard is also allowed to be a person and you were in extreme situations and there's no part of me that felt betrayed by any means.
Ayda: [wipes her eyes and sniffs] I missed you so much, I'm very--
Fig: I missed you, too. I wanna talk to you, but Gorgug's here so. (chuckles)
Gorgug: Should I walk further away?
Fig: (laughs) No, I don't understand if we have time or not. Are there people down there that we need to go save still?
Brennan: You see Ayda says,
Ayda: I think we are very close to the end. I think that something very bad is in the works.
Brennan: You see Gilear says,
Gilear: I believe it would be wise for us to return and join the others as soon as we can.
Gorgug: Ayda, I'm just curious if you have a gauge on this. What would happen if I cut some of these trees down?
Brennan: Ayda looks around, she's gonna make an Arcana check.
Ayda: I believe that could be very wise.
Gorgug: Okay.
Ayda: You are truly the greatest wizard of this age.
Gorgug: And I came right when everyone called me.
(group laughing)
Fig: Okay Gorgug, shh. No, no, no, no.
Gorgug: I don't mean that as a dig.
Brennan: Ayda starts rubbing her head like—
Gorgug: Hey, no, no, no, I'm sorry, that came off wrong.
Zac: And I'm just gonna start wailing on these trees.
Brennan: You walk over to Zaphriel.
Zac: Yeah.
Brennan: The gravity axe hums. (mimics humming) This tree is hewn in one fell swoop. Zaphriel stands up, he goes,
Zaphriel: Bro, that is my dude, my guy, yes! What's up, man?
Gorgug: This is what you look like?
Zaphriel: I'm like a huge, blue guy with a bald head. I got these wings.
Gorgug: That's awesome. That's awesome.
Zaphriel: Hell yeah, dude!
Gorgug: When we get outta here, you don't have to be in my van anymore if you don't want, but you know, the job's open if you want it.
Zaphriel: Dude honestly, here's the deal, dude. I was kicked out of paradise. I'm like semi-fallen, so I have like a bunch of cool-ass stuff in that gem. I have, like a private beach, I have, like some coconuts. I have a little hammock, so [gives double peace signs] we're living that chill life dude.
Gorgug: Insane.
Brennan: He looks at you guys and says. As you did that. Actually I'm gonna say, Fig, give me a, Fig and Gorgug actually, both give me Insight checks with advantage if you'd be so kind.
Zac: 15.
Emily: 15.
Brennan: You guys both notice, Fig, you just get a weird kind of premonition, you feel almost like vibrations through your bass guitar and Gorgug, you are, I feel like almost looking through your crystal like as you mocked it up, by the way, you are getting signal here on your crystal.
Zac: Oh, shit, do we wanna call anybody? I'm just gonna text, I'll text Zelda and be like,
Gorgug: Hey we're in the forest. Things are maybe not great, but I think we're on a upswing right now.
Brennan: (laughs) You get a text immediately back. You see Zelda text back and it says,
Zelda: Hanging with the other maidens. Thanks for checking in, I hope everything's okay. Feel free to shoot pictures. Let us know if you are gonna take pictures or video of anything 'cause we'll try to stream it.
Zac: Amazing, well, I'll just stream the sanctum.
Brennan: You stream the sanctum. You see a chat opens up with the other Seven Maidens who start doing bits in the chat in the side of the stream.
Gorgug: Hey guys.
Brennan: Like ‘ooh, creepy, hate that.’ The feeling you got on that 15 guys was, it wasn't chopping down the tree, but when Zaphriel got freed you felt some the magic of this place dissipate.
Zac: So it's absorbing the magic from the angels maybe?
Brennan: It looks--
Emily: Is there anyone else in here?
Brennan: Tons all throughout.
Emily: Let's just free them willy-nilly.
Zac: I'm just gonna, [mimes chopping trees] yeah.
Brennan: You see Zaphriel, yeah, you're bam, bam, bam.
Emily: Shatter, shatter, shatter, shatter, shatter.
Brennan: Zaphriel looks around at people. Zaphriel looks at you, Gorgug and Fig and says,
Zaphriel: If you guys are trying to beat feet and get outta here you can leave the homie here, I'm strong as hell and I got tons of magic. I can get all these buds out.
Gorgug: Amazing.
Fig: Yeah.
Gorgug: Hey, Zaphriel, good luck, dude, the van's waiting for you.
Zaphriel: Gorgug, sincerely, one love, brother. I'll see you after.
Gorgug: Absolutely.
Zac: Okay.
Brennan: And you see that Zaphriel just starts freeing everybody. Ayda looks around and again seems to say like,
Ayda: The curses, all of the trans-substantiations took physical objects and often changed them either into other physical objects or in some cases ephemeral, hard to understand concepts like a curse, but it seems that there is, at least by attacking some of the elements of this curse we can, it feels like this energy is going somewhere.
Brennan: And Ayda goes,
Ayda: Curious, very curious.
Brennan: And you guys jump on Baxter. Ayda is flying right next to Baxter as well, and you guys take off. We're gonna cut over to Fabian and Adaine. You guys rush back to the clearing. You see Aelwyn is still there on the ground. Your father's body is still there on the ground. What do you guys do as you rush into the clearing?
Siobhan: Pick her up.
Lou: Yeah, grab her.
Siobhan: Between the two of us.
Lou: Yeah, do a little fireman's carry action.
Siobhan: Yeah, I could even have, if you'll allow it, have cast Unseen Servant as we get there so that we have the little Unseen Servant.
Lou: All three—
Brennan: Fabian and Adaine, you rush into the clearing together. As you do so you see the body of Angwyn and Aelwyn's body as well, what do you do?
Siobhan: Can we say that I have created an Unseen Servant as we're running over here?
Brennan: Yes, absolutely.
Siobhan: So we can have an Unseen Servant pick her up?
Brennan: Yes, Unseen Servant picks her up, begins to carry her behind you, both of you make a Perception check for me.
Zac: Oh no, ooh.
Siobhan: 17.
Lou: Only 12.
Brennan: You hear something coming through the forest towards you.
Siobhan: Is there like a place that we can hide like a bush or something?
Brennan: Yeah, you guys can jump behind a bush.
Siobhan: Yeah, let's do that.
Lou: All right. We hide behind a bush.
Brennan: Limping into the clearing, dragging a broken hind leg is a hellhound, you see a worried, wet-looking lava dog.
Zac: Oh no.
Brennan: With black skin, it's like cracked like the way that volcanic rock gets cracked when there's magma under it. See, he's got like magma eyes and a mouth that's kind of glowing with lava and is limping into the clearing sniffing around and is covered with brambles and scratches from the Nightmare Forest.
Lou: Can I make an Insight check?
Brennan: Make a what?
Lou: Can I make an Insight check?
Brennan: Yeah, please do.
Lou: That is a, oh, why can't I find it? There it is, that's a mod 20.
Brennan: Your dog has just walked into the clearing. Or your motorcycle if you prefer.
Fabian: Hang— Hang, Hangman?
Onscreen is character art of first the Hangman motorcycle, then the Hangman dog. He has a very hangdog expression.
Hangman: Master, master, master, I found you!
Fabian: Oh, Hangman, you're a, you have paws instead of wheels.
Hangman: I'm sorry, I know it's shameful. I wish I was a motorcycle!
Fabian: No, no, this form is cool as hell, you have lava coming out of your mouth.
Hangman: It's terrible, I'm a stupid dog, I'm just a dog, not a--
Adaine: You're such a cute dog?
Hangman: Oh no!
Adaine: You're so cute.
Siobhan: I scratch him behind the ears.
Fabian: He is not a cute dog. He is not a cute dog.
Adaine: Oh, you're a dangerous, you're a big, dangerous dog, aren't you? Yes, you are, yes you are dangerous.
Hangman: [nearly crying] I wish I was a motorcycle.
Fabian: Hangman, what are you doing here?
Hangman: Master, I returned to the home of Grover Tillythatch, I returned to Holly Hill, and I could not find the weak man, the yogurt man and so I knew that I had made a mistake, and I sniffed him out and I could only think that he'd entered the forest. And I begged and plead at the briar wall but I was not a high enough devil. And finally some high-ranking devil allowed me to come in but I had to shed my form. I had to get rid of the bindings of the motorcycle that kept me if I wanted to come and try to save you.
Fabian: Hey, Hangman, I don't love you because you're a bike, right, I love you because you're villainous and you're pure evil and you'd run over anyone I asked you to. And you could probably still do that in dog form, all right? So I'm glad you're here.
Lou: Can I get on him or? I mean, he's hurt.
Brennan: No, no, he is hurt, but he is enormous, he's like bigger than a Great Dane. He's like eight feet long. His shoulders are like four and a half feet off the ground. He's—
Lou: Oh, hell yes.
Brennan: Yeah.
Fabian: Plus Hangman, once you're back up to snuff, riding you, I'm going to look way fucking cooler.
Brennan: You see he goes,
Hangman: Sire, you have seen me not for how I appear, but for the truly stained soul within me. I can never thank you enough.
Fabian: Well, hopefully you'll never have to thank me. Hopefully we'll just keep kicking ass together and it'll be fucking dope.
Hangman: Yes, sire, this more than anything is what I wish.
Brennan: You see that, yeah, The Hangman walks along with you. Where do you guys go with Aelwyn and The Hangman?
Fabian: Are we headed back, Adaine? I mean, I'm not sure.
Adaine: Yeah, I think that to where we were before we sort of didn't agree.
Fabian: I mean, is there anything to looking around here?
Siobhan: We're all close together, right?
Fabian: Is there anything to looking around here for tracks of your mother or something like that?
Adaine: That's a good idea.
Fabian: I mean, I don't know. That's The Ball's thing. The last time I tried to look for clues I bit glass so I'm not 100% sure I want to—
Siobhan: I'm pretty good at clues. I can do a little investigation check around here.
Lou: I don't know.
Brennan: Cool, go ahead and give me some Investigation checks guys.
Lou: I got a 15.
Siobhan: I got a 17.
Murph: Bardy Boys.
Siobhan: Bardy Boys.
Lou: What's up, Bardy Boys, we're back.
Siobhan: What's up Bardy Boys?
Brennan: Yes, you see Killian and Arianwen's tracks leading out of here, you can follow them.
Fabian: Well, let's get everybody else and then head back here.
Adaine: Yeah, we know where they are, great.
Brennan: Hell yeah, so we are now going to...
(tense instrumental music)
Siobhan: Uh-oh.
Brennan: Over to Kristen and Riz. You guys are looking for Tracker. Go ahead and give me Investigation checks as you look for Tracker.
Murph: I only got a 16.
Ally: I only got a 10.
Brennan: Copy that. You do not find Tracker here. You arrive at the edge of this spire, this kind of like island of trees which you can see is sort of purposefully made to be this jail for celestials. It leads to a much larger, taller spire off in the ocean of mist. You look and see that there is a side of the cliff that is on this other island raised up. So there's like forest on the top of the spire and then there is a chunk that goes up even higher to just a bald, rocky cliff face almost like a little crescent of stone raised up on the edge of this one giant stone island. And there is a large staircase going up like, 300, 400-foot staircase headed up to this ridge. On a 16 Riz, you look up and see a tree at the top of that staircase on the rock ridge, a lone tree and you recognize it from Adaine's scrying. This is the tree. And if that's the tree that means that that is the island. You feel that while you have not found Tracker, that Arianwen is that way. You look up above you and above that island the clouds are dark, heavy, ominous gray. You see a ripple on the horizon and rain begins to fall. (mimics rain pouring) Down the cliffside from you is a rickety rope bridge that extends probably 2,000 feet connecting the two islands as rain begins to fall. (mimics rumbling) Thunder rolls and you begin to see lightning. Kristen, you don't need to make any roll for this. This lightning is coming from a divine event. This is not natural. The storm is breaking here, your time is running out. Riz and Kristen, what do you do?
[tense, quick, adventurous orchestral music]
Murph: This look like this is where the Nightmare King is being summoned?
Brennan: Yes.
Riz: We have to get the others, right?
Kristen: Yeah.
Riz: You don't have a way to stop this, do you?
Kristen: Um, I don't think so. I mean, I have, we could go up there and see what they're doing. Ah fuck, you're right--
Riz: By ourselves?
Kristen: We do need the other, no, no, you're right obviously.
Murph: How far is everybody else?
Brennan: They're back on this little spit of rock with you guys not too far away.
Riz: I have a signal flare.
Kristen: Oh yeah, do it!
Riz: I mean, the forest is magic and evil. Everybody knows where we are anyway.
Kristen: Yeah.
Murph: All right. Shoot it off.
Brennan: Fig, Gorgug, Fabian, Adaine, you guys see from one side of the island you're on a signal flare go up.
Fig: All right, let's--
Gorgug: We gotta go.
Fig: Steer in that direction.
Lou: Oh yes, that's right.
Fig: Baxter, avoid the flare.
Murph: I just directly shoot Baxter.
Zac makes screeching Baxter noise.
Murph: Oh.
Brennan: Incredible.
Ally: What time is it right now ish? Like, would people be fully awake? Is this like evening or do we think there are, people will sleep and then this will take place or?
Brennan: You guys can do whatever you wanna do, but you see shit is popping off.
Zac: It seems like it's happening now.
Siobhan: I think we gotta go for it.
Lou: Let's roll.
Brennan: Are you looking at your spell slots and stuff right now?
Siobhan: We have a full, delicious eight hours of sleep.
Ally: Yeah, oh you know what, I'm gonna cast Vigilant Blessing on myself and then bonus action Step of the Brave so that I can fly. Is it dim, you would say?
Brennan: Yes, the storm has gotten rid of all natural sunlight. As you cast Steps of the Brave, Kristen, a beautiful, illuminated, a stick appears in your hand. A silvery starlight stick and as it does so you see the longest silvery starlight ribbon. And you ribbon dance into the air, baby.
[divine instrumental music]
(group laughing)
Murph: Riz weeps.
Ally: I wrap it around Riz.
Murph hugs himself, smiling.
Riz: Kristen, something bad always happens when you and I are together.
Kristen: Oh no, oh no, you're right, oh no.
Riz: Anytime we go off on our own.
Zac: What else has happened?
Kristen: What have we done?
Zac: I actually can't remember.
Murph: Garthy and Sandra Lynn, we tried to stop them. Didn't work, Nightmare Forest, Kristen almost dying slash Tracker—
Ally: Oh yeah, you're right.
Siobhan: Oh, yes.
Zac: Okay, sure.
Murph: We're 0 for three team Rizten.
Ally: We are, we simply are.
Lou: Rizten.
Ally: Rizten.
Brennan: Incredible.
Ally: Can I do something that might attract Tracker to this? Like, I mean, I'm still bleeding, can I kind of like...
Murph: Can you howl?
Ally: Can I howl, yeah.
Brennan: Go for it baby, howl.
Ally: Okay, I howl my freaking heart out. (howls)
Emily: Can I hear Kristen howling and then Thaumaturgy so that it echoes throughout the forest?
(laughs)
Brennan: An enormous howl echoes off into forever.
Ally: Okay and then I say,
Kristen: Riz, ready the... the like.
Riz: Dart.
Kristen: Dart, yeah.
Brennan: Incredible. I am going to need, so all of you gather again on the edge of the island. As you do so you begin to feel the storm break, the rain is pouring down. (mimics rain splashing) You guys are all near that rope bridge going across to the next island.
Siobhan: Well, Baxter can fly three of you guys across. If Kristen can carry Riz and fly, I can cast Fly on The Hangman and The Hangman can fly the rest of us across.
Emily: Great.
Lou: Incredible.
Siobhan: 'Cause this rope bridge, I would, let's just not deal with it.
Murph: Do you need to save a spell slot or anything because I--
Emily: Yeah, what if—
Siobhan: This is my last third level spell, I have no fourth or fifth level spells.
Emily: So what if--
Murph: I can glide with my thing so I can't really fall.
Emily: Could I use Disguise Self to give myself wings since this is illusionville?
Siobhan: Oh yes, Ayda can fly somebody.
Brennan: Yes, you could use Disguise Self to give yourself wings.
Emily: Great, I give myself dope hellish wings of fire and I say—
Siobhan: I Counterspell— just kidding.
Emily: That would really be sad. And anyone who wants to hop aboard can.
Zac: I'll just ride Baxter.
Emily: Yeah, you can ride Baxter. I'm just giving us another, so that Adaine doesn't have to use a third-level spell 'cause Disguise Self is only a first-level spell.
Zac: Oh yeah.
Brennan: Cool.
Murph: I'll go with Kristen or Fig.
Ally: Ayda can just fly right?
Brennan: Yeah, Kristen can fly, it's a bonus action.
Lou: I'll ride with Gorgug.
Brennan: Ride with Gorgug. Gilear and Aelwyn are with you guys as well.
Siobhan: Gilear and Aelwyn and The Hangman. I mean, I think I just have to cast fly on The Hangman because The Hangman is probably too heavy for this bridge.
Emily: Okay.
Zac: Let's fly over the bridge just in case there's like, something that Dispels Magic or anything like that.
Brennan: Gilear also says,
Gilear: If you need to, perhaps Baxter could make two trips. I'm not sure if that's.
Murph: Oh, that's true.
Siobhan: Oh yeah.
Zac: Yeah, if we get over and it's not going down.
Adaine: Kristen, can you heal Aelwyn just a little bit or Fig?
Kristen: Definitely, of course.
Ally: I cast like a Cure Wounds.
Brennan: Cool, how much do you cure her for?
Ally: I cast, let's see, we'll do a second level so it's four, six, 10.
Emily: I whisper to Kristen,
Fig: I think maybe Ayda might also need some curing.
Ally: Oh, plus—
Brennan: Actually, Fig, Ayda doesn't need curing, she's just exhausted so—
Zac: Does the Greater—
Emily: But wouldn't a Lesser Restoration or Greater Restoration absolve that?
Brennan: It would get rid of one level and she has multiple.
Emily: Okay.
Murph: She just needs a break.
Ally: She actually got 19 with my spellcasting ability modifier.
Brennan: Oh, incredible, great, great, great, 19. Awesome guys, cool. All of you fly across this, through the storm. As you do I'm gonna roll a little luck check here. Flying across (mimics rain splashing) battered by rain and wind all of you flying to this island as the storm clouds gather and begin to swirl in a maelstrom overhead. You see lightning (mimics thunder crashing) strikes the rope bridge and it collapses and falls into the mist. All of you land on the far side.
Ally: Can I do a Perception check to see if we just left where we might be able to find Tracker or if she might be on this side, too.
Brennan: I think in this crazy storm there's no way. You will just not be, you don't know where Tracker is right now. She's out of pocket.
Zac: How big is this tree?
Brennan: How big is this tree? Pretty enormous, as you guys are flying. Hold one one second, you get to the other island. Who all is on Baxter?
Zac: Me and Fabian.
Brennan: Copy that, hold on one second.
Lou: No, we should, let's just land, we land. Just say we land.
Zac: We landed on the ground.
Siobhan: Yeah, it seems like we landed.
Lou: We landed, stop looking things up, say we landed.
Zac: Our feet and Baxter's feet are on the ground.
Brennan sticks his tongue out at the camera, raising his eyebrows.
Siobhan: What is that tongue and why is that tongue out?
Lou: Put your tongue in your mouth and say we landed. Use your tongue to enunciate the words.
Zac: Roll that tongue back up in your mouth.
Lou: Cartoon-style roll the tongue, that you landed. ...Do it! Say we landed!
Lou and Zac mime using their hands to roll their tongues up like a sleeping bag.
Siobhan: God, this is so stressful.
Brennan: As you guys are coming in to land on the opposite side from the far ridge, two arrows streak through the sky, hit Baxter. I'm gonna need Dexterity saving throws from Fabian and Gorgug.
Emily: What kind of arrows?
Lou: Jesus.
Brennan: You know what kind.
Lou: Yes.
Zac: 17.
Siobhan: From the side that we just came from or the side that we're going towards?
Brennan: The side you're going to, you were out of range and you just came into range.
Lou: 16.
Brennan: 16, okay. Both of you guys beat a 15. You guys both stumble, skid, do not take falling damage as you leap from Baxter. Baxter lands on the ground but is once again at 0 making death saving throws.
Zac: I'm gonna Spare the Dying on Baxter.
Brennan: You cast Spare the Dying on Baxter. Baxter's breathing. For everybody else, do you go to accompany Gorgug and Fabian?
Emily: Yeah, I'm gonna go do a bonus action, Healing Word to Baxter just to get him up in case we still need to be moving around with him.
Brennan: Copy that.
Siobhan: Can I do a Perception check about where those arrows came from?
Lou: Can I also do it?
Brennan: No Perception check needed. They came from the far ridge. They came from--
Lou: Like from where we...
Murph: Where we're going?
Brennan: From where the tree is. The giant, towering ledge on the edge of the new island.
Emily: 13 hit points for Baxter.
Brennan: Okay. Baxter is up again.
Zac: Okay.
Brennan: Now, all of you are here. The arrows stop as you are now once again within forest 'cause you have total cover.
Emily: All right then. I'm just gonna do Thaumaturgy on myself and say,
Fig: Mom, come out, shop shooting us from the trees! Come out and talk.
Brennan: You say that. There's probably about, you know, a quarter to 1/6 of a mile of forest in between, like not that much, you guys, a couple, like a few minutes of running you guys could get to the base of the staircase that goes up.
Murph: Should we run for it?
Siobhan: Yeah, let's do it.
Zac: Let's do it.
Ally: As we're doing it, can I see them enough to cast Faerie Fire and try to get anybody up there who's invisible, but try to like outline them so that we have an advantage.
Brennan: You're way out of range on Faerie Fire right now.
Ally: Oh, okay, okay.
Brennan: You're hundreds of feet away. What I'm gonna bring up right now is, Aelwyn who is once again with you speaks up and she goes,
Aelwyn: Wait a minute, wait a minute. Before anyone rushes off there, the only way to defeat the Nightmare King is either to, look, I agree, let's run and try to stop them. If we are unsuccessful and the Nightmare King returns we need a plan to break those curses. We need a plan to undo the trans-substantiations, all five of them, they are what anchors the Nightmare King here. Even if you defeat him, you cannot truly defeat him unless those trans-substantiations are gone, are destroyed.
Kristen: Don't we only know of four of the trans-substantiations?
Fig: We only know four of them.
Riz: Who still has money?
Fig: Do you know the fifth one, Aelwyn?
Kristen: I do, I still have a bunch of gems. Do I need to get rid of them?
Riz: Everybody get rid of their money, right.
Fig: Get rid of your money.
Adaine: Gorgug, can I borrow your phone?
Ally: Okay, yeah, I start to get rid of all of my money. I throw it down where that bridge went.
Emily: This breaks the curse for us, but it doesn't break the curse for the world, right?
Brennan: For Kalvaxus's hoard?
Emily: Yeah.
Brennan: No, it is actually possible 'cause you guys--
Murph: You have to know about it, right?
Brennan: You have to know about it. So it's about knowing where the wealth came from. So you guys could possibly get rid of it right now.
Emily: Okay.
Siobhan: Okay.
Emily: Let's break it.
Ally: Yeah, I do that.
Fabian: Gorgug, give me your crystal.
Gorgug: Adaine borrowed it.
Adaine: Yeah sorry. I'm calling the bank and then I'll give it to you to call the bank so I—
Riz: [shouting] Call the bank!
Adaine: [shouting] I'm calling the bank!
Murph: It's raining, lightning.
Adaine: Oh my God, there's just so much hold music, it's so soothing.
Riz: [shouting] Just keep pressing zero!
Gorgug: So Aelwyn, we left the sanctum and it seemed like we were leaving—
Fig: It seems like it was gonna break the curse.
Brennan: Go ahead actually and the people that were in there, so Fig and Gorgug, give me Perception checks again.
Emily: I'm not good.
Zac: 24, 24.
Emily: Cool, go with that.
Brennan: 24, Gorgug, you look up on the ledge, there was only a tree there a little bit ago, you see a faint translucent outline of a cottage up there beginning to appear slowly.
Emily: Oh, it's moved.
Zac: From, from, wait sorry.
Siobhan: So the sanctum has turned back into a cottage?
Brennan: Right, Zaphriel's doing it. He's taking the curse.
Emily: Oh, so it is, it's breaking!
Zac: Yeah, okay.
Emily: Yes, cottage broken.
Brennan: So Fabian, Adaine, you guys pull the trigger. You do your online banking.
Lou: I'm donating all of my money. I'm giving all of my money to the Elmville Country Club as a generous donation.
Riz: Laptops for seniors.
Fig: No, laptops for seniors.
Riz: Laptops for seniors.
Lou: No, I've got to give it--
Gorgug: Seniors don't have any laptops.
Fig: Especially in this day and age seniors need access to good technology.
Fabian: No, I'm giving it to the Elmville Country Club. I'm going to get something.
Brennan: As you're giving away all this stuff, you do your online stuff, Kristen you toss your gems.
Ally: Yeah, I donated it all to laptops for teens.
Siobhan: Yeah.
Emily: I'm gonna do that, too.
Brennan: You throw away all your gems.
Ally: Yeah, I know, no more Revivify.
Emily: I can try to keep doing Prestidigitation to try to make diamonds that way.
Brennan: Yes. Now what I will also say is this. As you do your online banking you guys also begin to throw away the gold coins you had here. You start throwing them all away. I'm gonna say, Fabian and Adaine, just give me a flat d20 roll, just give me a luck check.
Siobhan: 5.
Lou: 9.
Ally: What about me?
Brennan: Oh, do you have gold pieces on you, Kristen?
Ally: I don't know, I think if I was carrying all those diamonds I maybe would, too.
Brennan: Yeah, so go ahead and give me a d20 roll luck check.
Emily: Oh, y'all are gonna turn into dragons.
Ally: 8.
Brennan: 8. You're all tossing it away. No, you guys are all committed, you're doing it. You toss away all of this dragon wealth. It feels very crazy but also empowering to do something so against what you wanted to do. Fabian, I think you have the hardest time with it.
Lou: I cry a little bit. I throw 1,000 gold pieces just off a fucking cliff? Okay.
Fig: Fabian, I'm working on an EP I'll tell you what, you can have all the money that comes from it 'cause guess what. Songs just flow out of me, I'll make another one.
Adaine: Give it to the country club. I don't need your charity.
Kristen: You can have all 30 pieces from merch sales. (laughs)
Brennan: Fabian, you take the money that was in The Ball's briefcase for safekeeping and toss it and then you reach into your own pockets, start throwing those coins away. As you throw the last handful your hand goes down for the very last gold piece in your pocket. You pull it out and a glowing gold coin with the rune Adaine found on the mural and in the books, the last coin in the hoard is the coin of the hoard and it appears in front of you.
Gorgug: Fabian.
Fabian: What?
Gorgug: Do you see what you have?
Fig: Eat it.
Riz: Throw it away.
Ally: Do we have to destroy it?
Brennan: It looks like there is magic on this. You have one of the trans-substantiations in your hand. It's just a magical effect. It was put there by a very powerful being, but you see there is, it's just a spell. You could potentially—
Emily: Can I just Counterspell it?
Siobhan: What if I just cast, yeah.
Brennan: Counterspell has to be done while you are—
Zac: Can I—
Siobhan: I'm out of third level spells.
Zac: Can I just hit it with my ax, can I just hit it with my—
Ally: I have Remove Curse.
Brennan: You have Remove Curse?
Ally: Yeah.
Brennan: You go up, hit it with Remove Curse. You see the coin vanishes. (mimics explosion)
Fabian: No!
Brennan: The last gold coin is gone. You see all of the trees bend and buckle in a hurricane-force wind. One of the great curses in this forest goes and as, it's that mycelium web, right. All the other curses weaken as a result of that curse being gone.
Siobhan: Amazing.
Emily: Okay, so the sanctum is being worked on, the gold is done, now we just have freaking Kalina who we've already weakened.
Zac: Can I make a Perception check for Kalina?
Brennan: Yes, go for it.
Zac promptly drops his dice.
Murph: Does anyone still have the Kalina curse?
Lou: So we have to—
Siobhan: I mean, all the NPCs so Ragh, Sandra Lynn—
Emily: Gilear doesn't.
Ally: I might. Right?
Zac: I dropped a dice on the ground and the other dice was a nat 1.
Siobhan: No you got …
Brennan: Oh no.
Murph: Kristen, you were healed, I think.
Fig: Aelwyn, can I ask you, what do you know about Sandra Lynn? Is she just being affected by the forest or did you work with her at any point?
Brennan: She looks up and says,
Aelwyn: If your allies are trapped by the forest then that's, it's very likely that it is the Nightmare King has taken them over, that they are possessed.
Fig: I see, okay.
Brennan: You see the tree up on the hill. You see the cottage appearing there as Zaphriel finishes his work on the other island. And then you don't know where Kalina is, but you do know that that tree and that cottage are gonna be up there.
Ally: Okay, and then what is the fifth? I think we only know of four.
Zac: No, the name.
Emily: We don't know the fifth one, we just know the name. Do we think it could be a person?
Ally: Can I try to contact my new god?
Brennan: Yeah, give me a Religion check.
Emily: The name has been turned into something. I just think it might be a person.
Ally: 23.
Brennan: 23. You remember something, there was something that the Goddess when you spoke to her or a memory of her or however it works said to you, it's a relationship of names, like what names mean. And you just hear a whisper in your head or maybe you read it in your world religions book of like, a name isn't who you are, but it is who you are. And it's an act that you create to tie yourself to a symbol and it anchors you to your life and the world around you. On that 23 that's all you can think of.
Emily: Could it be the crown?
Zac: Could it be the crown? I don't know.
Emily: If that anchors it to this plane, it anchors it to this life.
Siobhan: Yeah, it could be.
Zac: Well...
Ally: Or is it just like the concept of mystery? Would she respond?
Zac: Well, we know that breaking a curse weakens all the other ones, and we have one big curse right in front of us.
Emily: And it seems like destroying a nightmare crown is never a bad thing so we can just assume it.
Lou: Agreed.
Zac: Why don't we try to get rid of this tree?
Murph: Yeah, let's go for the tree, right.
Adaine: How's that axe feeling?
Brennan: You guys--
Gorgug: Pretty light.
(group laughing)
Siobhan: Can I lift his axe yet? No, 17 strength, right?
Zac: 17?
Brennan: Yeah, you need 17.
Siobhan: All right.
Brennan: The only people in the party that can lift it I think are Gorgug and Ayda.
Zac: Ooh!
Emily: [smugly] What up.
Siobhan: Wow, Ayda's so buff.
Ally: Oh yeah, definitely.
Lou: [laughing] “What up.”
Brennan: You guys head off. As you do so, so you know the tree's up there. You know the cottage is up there. You've just destroyed the coin. By the way, you see Gorgug, there's a message from your parents the Thistlesprings that the 35 gold pieces you paid them for the van, they donated as soon as they got 'em.
Gorgug: Thank you Mom and Dad. Appreciate it, love you, awesome. We're in the Nightmare King Forest and it's pretty bad, but I think we'll be okay.
Emily: Okay wait, what if I, oh wait, I've never seen Kalina. I don't know what Kalina looks like. No, we do have footage of her. What if I disguised myself as Kalina and you can just livestream me and we can continue to weaken her that way. I'll alter myself to be Kalina.
Brennan is staring in shocked silence, with a surprised grin on his face.
Ally: Whoa.
Siobhan: Whoa.
Emily: I do that.
Murph: That's incredibly rad.
Brennan: Uh, Kalina's—
Emily: Someone put your live cam on me and I'll just keep walking around being Kalina.
Brennan: Fucking… Emily Axford is holding me to my goddamn world building right now. Kalina appears in front of you. Gorgug, you've got your crystal. You got the camera on it. Riz and Gorgug, give me an Insight check with that.
Lou: Wait, does Kalina appear in front of us in that Kalina appears in front of us or?
Brennan: No, Fig is just, yeah.
Emily: I go,
Fig: Psst hey it's me, Fig.
Murph: I got a 26.
Zac: I got a 5.
Brennan: Riz, you know that Kalina has a ton of illusion magic, can disguise, et cetera. You know that the camera on your tie has a Detect Magic ability on it. If you were to use your tie with Gorgug's phone it's possible that you would always be able to keep some track of what Kalina was doing on a battlefield and be recording Fig at the same time as a disguised Kalina.
Murph: Great.
Zac: I give Riz my phone, my crystal and go like,
Gorgug: Maybe just, do you have a dongle?
Brennan: [laughing] Actually Gorgug, give me a Tinkerer's tools check.
Zac: Oh God, 24.
Brennan: You reach into your backpack, take some old wires out of your backpack and you just turn your phone into a hotspot. I know we've been doing all this remote recording and it's leaking into my world design for the game now. But you hotwire your phone to Riz's tie. You guys are as of this moment live streaming through Riz's tie with Detect Magic filters through Gorgug's phone.
Fig: Hey y'all, my name's Kalina. I just wanted to enter the YouTube sphere. This is what I look like, here's me from the front, here's me from the side, here's me from the back. Get it in.
[music change from discordant Nightmare forest to something more hopeful, heroic and adventurous]
Brennan: Incredible, you guys rush off into the forest. As you head off Gilear, Aelwyn, The Hangman, Ayda are all here. Are there any people that you are leaving behind or are you taking anyone with you? Baxter's looking pretty hurt, Baxter might remain.
Zac: Maybe Baxter can be with Gilear.
Murph: Yeah, they could fly off if things get bad.
Brennan: Gilear salutes and says,
Gilear: I'll be high in the sky in case anything goes wrong,
Brennan: Is with Baxter. Aelwyn, The Hangman, Baby, and Ayda come with you.
Emily: Yeah!
Brennan: Aelwyn looks over at Fig and Ayda by each other, raises an eyebrow, she has four levels of exhaustion as well but she looks over and says,
Aelwyn: Oh dear, do I have to what, count myself as one of the, (snaps fingers) oh that's right, The Bad Kids now?
Fabian: No, definitely not.
Kristen: You're not part of us.
Fabian: You're here because—
Fig: Yeah, you might not have to prove yourself to Adaine, but the rest of us are a little wary.
Fabian: Yes.
Brennan: You see Aelwyn shrugs. Ayda looks over and says,
Ayda: Well, whatever the case I in my heart feel deep down that I, too, am a low quality child.
Cast laugh.
Fig: You're a Bad Kid.
Riz: Ayda, you're definitely a Bad Kid.
Fig: You've been a Bad Kid for a while.
Kristen: You're definitely a Bad Kid.
Adaine: Ayda’s a Bad Kid.
Fabian: You tried to drown hell. That's pretty bad.
Gorgug: Even bad has a couple of definitions I should say.
Fig: Yeah, bad with two d’s.
Brennan: All of you guys streak through the forest together. The rain comes down in torrents through the leaves. You guys rush forward, you arrive through the woods to the base of the staircase. As you do so you look all the way up like about 200 feet up to the top of the staircase. You see at the top of the stairs Kalina looking down at you.
Emily: Looking down at Kalina.
Brennan: Looking down at Kalina. Kalina smiles.
Fig: Hi, bitch.
Kalina: Well, well, well, looks like you all came out to play. It's very exciting. To all of you, I am so glad that you will be the first to join the retinue of the King of Nightmares. Court of Elders, it's time to do your work.
Gorgug: Court of Elders?
Brennan: You all see surging down the staircase, you see appearing behind Kalina, first one then the other, that wood elf that Adaine saw, the pustulent one with vines in his mouth. You see the visions that Kristen saw earlier. There is like a statue made of rotting wood and stone in the shape of a centaur with its jaw hanging loose, flat where the eyes should be. You see this husky, shedding paper, coming apart little sprite and you see a massive tree bound with bands of iron and they begin to thud down the staircase after all of you. As they power down the staircase you look up and see at the top of the stairs three more figures join Kalina as Kalina turns her back on you and walks towards the ledge. You look up and see as Kalina turns her back three figures appear at the top of the staircase.
Emily: Ugh.
Brennan: You see an elven woman with a longbow, a hulking half-orc with a glaive, and a giant howling wolf. I'm gonna need everybody here to roll initiative.
Players groan
Ally: All right.
Emily: I lost my dice. (yelps, clacking noise) I lost my dice.
Siobhan: I got a 7, Brennan.
Brennan: Hold on one sec, hold on to these until I ask for, I'm gonna just make sure I got everything here. Badda boom, badda bam. Baxter and Gilear, you guys left. Hangman's coming with. Zaphriel you guys left.
Lou: How is Hangman? Does Hangman have new stats?
Brennan: Yes, Hangman has more hit points. Hangman has 45 hit points now.
Murph: Yeah.
Siobhan: Nice.
Brennan: But he's got levels of exhaustion so he's at 22 right now.
Lou: Okay.
Brennan: Okay.
Zac: Do any of us have exhaustion right now?
Brennan: No, you guys did your awesome improvised ritual so you're all okay. You guys made it through the forest doing weird time magic 'cause you were all tripping balls. Okay. Here we go. Go ahead everybody, Siobhan, give me your initiative.
Siobhan: 7.
Brennan: Gorgug, give me yours.
Zac: 13.
Brennan: 13, Fabian give me yours.
Lou: 23.
Brennan: Ooh baby!
Lou: Let's go.
Siobhan: Nice.
Brennan: Fig, give me yours.
Emily: 20.
Brennan: 20, Riz, give me yours.
Murph: 21.
Brennan: Woo, we got some high initiatives.
Zac makes excited metal hands.
Siobhan: Wow, okay.
Brennan: And Kristen, remember, you roll with advantage.
Ally: I did, I did, yeah. I got a 15.
Brennan: 15, hell yeah.
Ally: Even with my advantage.
Brennan: Dope, dope, dope.
Murph: We're just anime running so fast.
Players lean forward with their arms behind them.
Ally: Yeah.
Siobhan: It's not as cool from the front.
Zac: Look how weird my arms look.
Brennan: Okay, we are gonna jump right into this. Sandra Lynn is gonna be first to act.
Zac: Oh no. Wait, what were the three figures at the top?
Siobhan: It was Sandra Lynn.
Brennan: Sandra Lynn.
Lou: Sandra Lynn, Ragh, and—
Siobhan and Emily: Ragh and Tracker.
Ally: [putting their hand over their heart] Tracker...
Siobhan: You said you had three tranquilizer darts with tincture in?
Murph: I have one.
Siobhan: You have one.
Ally: We have one and three vials.
Emily: If he has any more tincture.
Siobhan: Three vials.
Ally: Yeah, we have tree tinctures.
Zac: I have a tincture on me.
Ally: I have a tincture on me.
Murph: So we have enough for our friends.
Emily: Okay, but since I'm higher in initiative order I might try to grab one of those tinctures.
Ally: I mean, we have to get them to drink it willingly, right?
Siobhan: Right, yes.
Emily: Oh, really?
Siobhan: Yeah, unless it's right where the...
Brennan: Fig, what is your hit point total right now?
Emily: I think it's actually only 39. I haven't been hurt, I mean, I haven't been healed since I got hurt.
Brennan: Gotcha.
Emily: I think I got hurt. I have the S39 on my thing.
Brennan: You take 16 points of damage as Sandra Lynn puts two arrows into you from the top of the stairs.
Lou: Jesus.
Brennan: She walks down the stairs, her face set, puts two arrows into you.
Fig: All right, cards on the table, Mom!
Brennan: She calls down and says,
Sandra Lynn: Fig, I want you to know something.
Fig: Yeah?
Sandra Lynn: I'm awake for all of this.
Brennan: And that is going to be, that's Sandra Lynn.
Emily: What does that mean?
Zac: Don't trust it.
Ally: Like she's not under a spell or something.
Fig: All right why then, Mom? You know what, I'll take it as a compliment. My mom is showing me attention even if it's negative attention. This is better than when you just hijacked my spring break!
Riz: Hold her back, hold her back!
Ally: Hold her back!
Riz: Hold her back.
Brennan: Hold her back. Fabian, that is you. The nearest adversaries to you are the Court of Elders. The elder wood elf and the elder, like this centaur are both taking the lead, flying just behind them is the elder sprite and the elder treant is like thundering down the steps after them. To give you an idea of how far away these people are, the wood elf is 50 feet ahead of you.
Lou: Okay, so it would be like, none of them are, like I couldn't get to them on a turn. I would have to dash to make it to them.
Brennan: Yes, they're like sprinting down towards you right now.
Lou: Okay.
Brennan: But you also have The Hangman here with you.
Lou: Great. I look back at my friends.
Fabian: We are going to kill all of these people.
Adaine: Yep.
Fabian: Or are we just trying to get past them?
Riz: We're not gonna kill our friends, but we'll kill—
Fabian: No not them! The people between us.
Riz: Yeah, there's a tree guy? Fuck the tree guy!
Fabian: Fuck the tree guy! Hangman, to me.
Fig: Fuck the tree guy.
Gorgug: Fuck the tree guy.
Emily: Let's let our friends attack us while we fuck the tree guy.
Siobhan: Yes, great.
Zac: That guy’s the furthest way though, right?
Lou: I'm not going for the tree guy, but I do like the battle cry, fuck the tree guy.
Zac: Just fuck the tree guy.
Murph: Yes, that is just the general, yeah, rallying cry.
Lou: I have The Hangman right up next to me and grab onto him and weird like Legolas Two Towers style swing underneath his head and up on top of him.
Zac: Just the worst CGI in the whole game. Or, movie.
Lou: Exactly.
Brennan: So because you are charging up a staircase this is difficult terrain, but The Hangman has a speed of 50 so with a move and a dash The Hangman can make it to the wood elf and you'll have your full turn.
Lou: Great, yeah, I'll go for the wood elf. Is the wood elf, by any chance, is anybody near a, like, edge of the stairs? Or do these stairs, are they like walls on either side or is there one side?
Brennan: There are no railings. There's like a little bit of stone molding at the edge of them. It's one of those monastery-style, tall, incredible, ancient stone staircases.
Lou: I guess what I'm asking, if I kick somebody off the staircase would they fall into infinity or would they just fall like 20 feet?
Brennan: No, they will fall at this point probably about like 50 feet.
Lou: Okay, cool.
Siobhan: That'll do.
Lou: How close is the wood elf to the edge?
Brennan: The wood elf is two squares. He's in the third square away from the railing so he's got 10 feet of open ground between him. The staircase is about 40 feet wide, by the way.
Lou: Great, I ride to the wood elf. Yeah I ride up and I jump off of The Hangman and engage him.
Brennan: This pustulant, diseased, ancient wood elf stands in front of you. Do what you're gonna do, baby.
Lou: Great, we'll take our first attack. That is— cocked. That's a 13.
Brennan: 13 misses.
Lou: 13 misses, swing again. That is a mod 20.
Brennan: 20 hits.
Lou: Great, I'm going to, I will burn a first level spell slot on Fandrangor and then I'll also make this a trip attack DC 17.
Brennan: Hell yeah, DC 17, and that's a Strength saving throw, correct?
Lou: I believe so. Yes, Strength saving throw, that's 1d8 plus 1d6, yes.
Brennan: He succeeds on the strength saving throw, does not go down.
Lou: Great. 1d8 plus 1d6 plus one more d8 for a total of 8 plus 7, 13, plus 4, 17, plus 9. Why can't I do, what is that?
Zac: 26. 17 plus 9?
Brennan: 17 plus 9 is 26.
Lou: 26 points of damage.
Brennan: Hell yeah. You only hit with one of your two attacks this turn, and Fandrangor alights, you leap off of The Hangman as he (grunting) goes up, sheet wraps around, you spin. (grunts) Fandrangor takes, this is a hefty amount of damage and while the wood elf is not on death's door this is a sizable hit into one of the combatants.
Fabian: Spring break, you stupid motherfucker!
Brennan: [laughs] Hell yes, awesome. Anything else, any bonus action that turn or is that everything?
Lou: That, I think for me, that'll be everything.
Brennan: Cool.
Emily: So can we recap, who did you hit? You hit the wood elf—
Lou: The wood elf.
Emily: And Fandrangor or those are the same people?
Brennan: No, Fandrangor is—
Lou: Fandrangor is my blade.
Brennan: Yeah.
Emily: Oh, okay, I see, I see.
Brennan: Riz Gukgak, baby that's you.
Murph: Sweet, Riz is gonna take off running anime style up the stairs.
Lou: Fuck yes.
Murph: Then dive down and take a hide action like in the steps to get advantage and then I'm gonna poke back up and I'm gonna shoot at Tracker with the antidote.
Brennan: Okay, you may be out of range. Give me the range on your gun again.
Murph: I don't have...
Brennan: Also, are you gonna do a cunning action because again, it's difficult terrain so your speed is I think 25, right?
Murph: Okay, I assume, does anybody have shortbow stats? I think it's shortbow—
Zac: I can look it up.
Brennan: I've got your stuff right here, man. I'll take a look at that for you right now.
Murph: Thank you.
Brennan: But how many movements are you taking up the staircase?
Murph: I guess I'll go 15 feet. I only have 30 feet of speed.
Brennan: You only have, how many feet of speed do you have?
Murph: 30.
Brennan: 30, so good news bad news. You only move 15 feet up the stairs, but the long range on your gun is 320 feet so you can absolutely shoot Tracker from here.
Murph: Great, awesome. So I'll use my hide action first. So do you want me to roll a Stealth check?
Brennan: Yeah, go ahead and roll the Stealth check.
Murph: Okay, 28.
Brennan: You bypass passive perception.
Murph: Sweet.
Brennan: You roll with advantage so your disadvantage is canceled out 'cause you're in long range for the gun.
Murph groans.
Ally: Oh, we can just wait until you're closer, we only have one dart.
Siobhan: Yeah.
Emily: Hold your action for mine, Murph.
Murph: Okay, I'll hold for Fig.
Brennan: Okay, so you're readying an action for Fig to do something.
Murph: Yeah.
Brennan: Okay, cool.
Murph: I'll climb the stairs and then look to Fig.
Brennan: Okay Fig, actually you go next.
Emily: Okay, I'm gonna run, grab Riz and Dimension Door to Tracker.
Zac: Oh, shit.
Siobhan: Incredible.
Brennan: (laughs) What's the range on Dimension Door again?
Ally: Incredible.
Emily: 500 feet. I think, hold on, let me double check that.
Zac: It's 500 feet, it's for sure 500.
Siobhan: It is.
Emily: It's 500 feet.
Lou: 100% 500 feet.
Siobhan: Yeah.
Zac: I'll bet my life that it is 500.
Emily: [holding a spell card up to the camera] It says 500 feet.
Brennan: Okay.
Siobhan: We can definitely read that.
Lou: Yeah, can you do that again? Sorry we didn't--
Emily: Yeah, absolutely. [does it again]
Zac: That sideways, blurry card.
Lou: Okay great, I'm caught up, thank you.
Emily: I really wanna hold up the wrong thing again.
Ally: Ice Feast?
Emily: Ice Feast.
Lou: Yeah, that was Ice Feast. I think you held up Ice Feast. I don't think you held up...
Brennan: Okay, so you're gonna use your movement to close with Riz.
Emily: Mm-hmm, and then I'll still have my skateboard so I can skateboard once I'm up there. So I think, like let me know what I'm landing in and I'll let you know if I want to move away.
Brennan: Are you gonna go to the top landing of the ledge or just on the steps beneath Tracker and Ragh?
Emily: I think I'd like to go to the steps below and then I'll take my skateboard to use my dash to try to get to Kalina, I guess if she's walking away.
Brennan: Okay.
Emily: Is that a problem?
Zac: I think we're separated now.
Murph: Yeah, careful running off by yourself.
Siobhan: Yeah, we're spread out.
Emily: Okay, then I won't do that, I'll just stick around.
Brennan: Okay, Sandra Lynn is 30 feet down the steps from Tracker and Ragh who are still up at the top of the steps, do you wanna be, like how many feet away from Tracker down the steps?
Emily: Okay. I see what you're saying, I wanna get in range for Riz. So I'll just Dimension Door us smack dab in the middle between them.
Brennan: Perfect, great, copy that. You are 15 feet away from Sandra Lynn, Ragh, and Tracker in between Tracker and Ragh and Sandra Lynn on the other side of you. Riz, you have a readied action.
Murph: Let's even these odds or put them in our favor, rather.
Riz: Tracker, get over here.
Murph: Okay, that's a 17 to hit Tracker.
Emily: Oh wait, so can I Bardic Inspiration? Oh wait, the 17's gonna hit.
Brennan: Yes, and 17 absolutely does hit.
Siobhan, who has had her fingers crossed, puts her hands together in a praying motion, and Lou claps.
Ally: Yes!
Brennan: 100%.
Lou sighs in relief
Brennan: Great, great, great, hold on one second. Badda boom badda bam, yes, 17 absolutely hits. You administer a hit, you hit that dart. It goes in, it immediately works. And here's the great part, because you guys— [low voice] Only wait a minute, what do I do here? Oh no, my plans, all my plans! Yeah, you see the dart hits. Tracker is going to make a saving throw. You see Tracker's rage ends. The full moon effect is gone. However both of you guys make an Insight check, Riz and Fig.
Murph: Okay.
Emily: 21.
Murph: I got a nat 20.
Brennan: Nat 20.
Ally: Hey!
Brennan: You hit Tracker with that immunity. You can tell that it has further weakened Kalina. But you know that the effect on Tracker, Ragh, and Sandra Lynn right now is the possession. It's the same thing that made Fig kidnap and try to kill you, so Tracker, Sandra Lynn, and Ragh are all under a possession effect right now that has not abated, but Tracker is no longer affected by Kalina's shit at all.
Murph: Okay.
Brennan: So one of two effects on her has vanished.
Murph: So if we removed curse on her or something she might come back.
Brennan: Exactly, 100%.
Murph: All right I yell down to Kristen,
Riz: We're halfway there, she's still mad.
Kristen: What?
Riz: It 100% worked, but it like 50% worked.
Brennan: Incredible.
Kristen: Okay.
Lou laughs loudly.
There’s a loud crash noise, and Emily jumps.
Emily: Oh dear.
Brennan: Great and Fig, you have a bonus action still if you want it.
Emily: I have a bonus action, I think that yeah, I think I'm just gonna use my bonus action to give Riz some Bardic Inspiration.
Murph: Thank you.
Brennan: Hell yeah.
Emily: 'Cause I think you're probably gonna be administering more stuff.
Murph: I think I'm gonna stay because I know Fig is hurt, too. I'm gonna stay not hidden on the stairs there.
Brennan: Cool, copy that.
Lou: [smiling] The Ball.
Murph: We're back to back.
Lou smacks his fist into his hand.
Brennan: What is the range on that spell? Oh boy. [whispers] 60 feet.
Lou: Boo.
Siobhan: Boo.
Lou: Boo. Only 50% of the way there? I was like 100% like, oh, we're about to just start, we're about to get this team back. Like, Tracker's gonna, like we're gonna get Tracker back. She's gonna be like, yo, Greater Restoration, Greater Restoration, we're all good.
Emily: Yeah, I know, I was thinking the same.
Lou: Like, I thought we were gonna sandwich it. I know that tree guy was gonna get straight up fucked, but no, no, got more work to do.
Siobhan: I got plans for that tree guy, don't you worry. I got mad plans for that tree guy.
Lou: Mad plans for that tree guy.
Ally: It's Craftmy Rootdrinker, right?
Siobhan: Yeah, maybe.
Emily: I definitely wanna do some fire damage on him 'cause I'm like, a tree?
Siobhan: Yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying.
Emily: We had to get Riz up there to do. I thought that that would be.
Siobhan: You did the right thing.
Zac: Ally, when you say Craftmy Rootdrinker I forget what the lore of this was.
Siobhan: He was the druid that formed the Nightmare Kingdom.
Ally: He's trying to reclaim the forest, I think. Trying to reclaim parts of the forest.
Lou: I thought that was a bit. I was trying to remember what bit we did.
Ally: No, yeah.
Lou: Like the name, Craftmy Rootdrinker.
Zac: That just sounds like a IPA.
Lou: Yeah, exactly.
Ally: Yeah, yeah.
Lou: Or like an instruction.
Ally: But if it is him is he bad? Would they also be under a spell? Weren't they all good?
Lou: No, I think he was like, chill, they like wanted to get the forest back from the--
Siobhan: I think that these are zombies. I think that these guys are undead.
Murph: That centaur doesn't have a jaw.
Siobhan: Or eyes.
Murph: Like running at us.
Lou: We can save him.
Brennan: You guys see, sorry hold on one second. [mutters] 6d6.
Siobhan: 6d6, why did he just say 6d6?
Emily: Wait, is it, if you're casting a spell, are you casting a spell?
Lou: You're gonna—
Brennan: I am casting a spell, but you're gonna like—
Emily: Counterspell!
Brennan: You don't wanna do that. First of all, you're out of range. Aelwyn—
Siobhan: Oh, hell yes.
Emily: Oh, hahaha.
Brennan: Weakly stumbles up the steps a little bit. She looks up, looks at all of you and says,
Aelwyn: I hate to think about the last time I cast this spell. Hopefully I can redeem myself at least.
Adaine: Just cast a spell.
Brennan: (mimics explosion resounding) A raging Cone of Cold soars up the steps and blasts the centaur statue and the little husk doll sprite, dealing a bunch of damage to both of them. And that's Aelwyn's turn. Going from Aelwyn, that is gonna be Ragh who is going to charge. As Ragh charges down he, and you're not hiding, right Riz?
Murph: Right.
Riz: Ha, just like old times, Ragh kicking my ass.
Murph: I smile and nod at him.
Zac: This feels right. This feels right.
Brennan: Okay.
Murph: You absolutely hate to see it.
Siobhan: You hate to see it, folks.
Lou: This you hate to see.
Brennan: Ragh misses you twice.
Siobhan: Hell yeah.
Ragh: [sobbing] You guys fucking killed me, you think I'm a joke? You think I'm just a fucking joke, dude?
Riz: We didn't kill you, man. You just shit your pants and it's fine.
Fig: You shit your pants and we kept your secret.
Riz: We love you, we're your friend, yeah.
Gorgug: Oh, I guess we did kill you.
Fabian: We did terrorize him and Fig became his worst nightmares.
Adaine: We did kill him a couple of times.
Riz: There was some mutual bullying, but I think we'll all come out of this good.
Fig: We know you're not yourself right now and everything that you're saying is just a manipulation of this world.
Riz: Spring break.
Adaine: Spring break, we believe in you—
Fig: We forgive you, spring break we forgive you.
Fabian: Spring break, I believe in you, Ragh!
Brennan: You guys see Tracker (growls) bounds down the steps. Some kind of spectral teleportation happens. She actually allows herself to take falling damage to get down the steps fast enough, like teleports out into the air to fall farther. She appears in the knot in the bottom of the staircase in between Aelwyn, Adaine, and Kristen. And she is going to full on attack Kristen. She is going to—
Kristen: Hey babe, where have you been? (laughs)
Tracker growls.
Brennan: Nat 20 on the claw attack. And then here comes the bite, which is the one you really have to worry about.
Lou: Oh my God.
Emily: Who's she going after?
Brennan: She's going after Kristen. She hits with her claw attack and she's going to deal 8, she deals 14 damage to you Kristen. (growls fiercely) Just going mad, she says,
Tracker: [growling] Why are you worshipping her? [screams)]
Brennan: And you can see that she is getting some kind of like, input or vision from somewhere beyond. And she deals that damage to you. And poetically enough, Kristen, you are next. How much are you at right now?
Ally: 66.
Brennan: Cool.
Ally: Okay, I say,
Kristen: You know, clearly you're not yourself right now, Tracker.
Ally: I use my staff to Dispel Magic.
Brennan: Hell yes, so with this dispel magic. Oh that's right, you used the Staff of Doubt, hell yes. So what I'm gonna need from you Kristen is a check here because you're gonna use your primary ability here. Using the Staff of Doubt you can also expend more charges to do a higher-level version of Dispel Magic if you want.
Ally: Yeah, I'll do that.
Brennan: Cool, you're gonna use five charges so you'll get a plus two on this roll.
Ally: Okay.
Brennan: The DC is 15. You have a +7.
Ally: Okay. That's a 22, yeah.
Brennan: Ooh, baby! Tracker lashes out at you, cuts you. You see that something is torturing her. You hold this staff. Tracker's not bad, she's just confused. How does Kristen cast Dispel Magic in this moment?
Ally: So she scratched me so hopefully her arm is still kind of like cross her body so I hug her.
Brennan: You hug her—
Ally: I hug her and try to hold her arms down.
Lou: Aww.
Brennan: The illusion of the full moon leaves. Tracker, the magic is broken and Tracker melts into a sobbing puddle in your arms coming out of her wolf form. Immediately you see four levels of exhaustion set in. She's like weeping, crying in your arms just like adrenaline and rage was what was keeping her going basically. But she is with you again, and you have saved your girlfriend, congratulations.
Ally: Awesome.
Emily: I mean, some of us already did that today, but I guess it didn't come up.
Murph: Two girlfriends saved.
Ally: I think I heard something, someone's talking shit.
Zac: I checked in with my girlfriend.
Ally: Somebody that is so small.
Siobhan: I killed my dad.
Brennan: Oh by the way, Fig, did you leave Baby in his bindings or is he acting on your turn?
Emily: Oh, I forgot about Baby. I think, I mean, Baby just kind of like clutches around my leg right?
Brennan: Yes, absolutely.
Emily: So Baby's just at my leg. I think I'm gonna make him go invisible and send him after Kalina.
Brennan: Okay he is happy to do that. He invisibly flies up onto the platform ahead of you.
Zac: Yes, of course the Baby is latched to your leg.
Brennan: Incredible.
Zac: Of course.
Ally: I think he was probably like attached to my leg this whole time.
Zac: Of course, yeah.
Brennan: Incredible, incredible. You guys see, so Kristen, that is your turn. Any movement that turn?
Ally: Yeah, heading up the stairs towards everybody I guess. What is Tracker up to? Does she need to like sit and?
Brennan: Tracker will hustle with you as you move up the steps.
Zac: Are you still flying?
Ally: It only works for one turn, but I can cast it on myself again as a bonus action so yeah, I'll do that, I'll cast another Steps of the Brave.
Brennan: Okay, you cast steps of the brave which Tracker can also cast so you ignore difficult terrain 'cause you're flying.
Ally: Awesome.
Brennan: You begin to shoot up. One, two, three, four, five, six. Yeah, you go 30 feet up with a bonus action as the ribbon twirls around you. Tracker looks up weeping, very badly traumatized clearly but just goes,
Tracker: Wow, that's hot, what's going on? I'm out of the loop.
Kristen: [ribbon dancing] It's a new thing I got. It's a new old thing.
Brennan: (cheers) Incredible.
Emily: (laughs) A new old thing. Ribbon dancing.
Brennan: Hell yeah. You see, hold on one second. Gonna go.
Zac: I can't wait to go.
Brennan: Love it.
Zac: It'll be great.
Brennan: I know, this is a long battle.
Ally: Welcome to my world, Zac, okay.
Zac: But you already went.
Siobhan: Fucking kill it.
Ally: Yeah, but I'm usually exactly where you are.
Emily: Oh right, 'cause your Dex is bad.
Siobhan: Oh yes.
Ally: My -3 to initiative rolls.
Brennan: Incredible, this thing is going to...
Ally: This thing?
Brennan: Yeah, hold on one sec.
Emily: Is this the tree?
Brennan: No, this is the sprite.
Lou: Ooh, the sprite.
Siobhan: Unimportant, the tree is the...
Zac: I can't really fuck up the sprite.
Emily: Why?
Zac: I feel like I won't be able to hit it, it's flying this little flying thing.
Brennan: Okay. This thing is going to shoot down and yeah, this thing is gonna fly down to Kristen. There is a humming coming from the papery sprite that as it gets within range of you guys begins to hurt your ears and your mind just like its presence here near you. It's going to attack Kristen, that's a miss. It begins to crawl on your back and shoulders, Kristen, looking to bite into your neck. This little papery, vampiric fairy. That is now going to be Ayda, baby! Ayda has a speed of 80, but that is now halved to 40 because she has exhaustion.
Emily: Aw.
Brennan: She is going--
Gorgug: Ayda, you can't carry me, can you?
Brennan: She looks at you and says,
Ayda: Why wouldn't I be able to carry you, I'm very strong.
Gorgug: No, I just, it just seems like I thought you might have something else you'd wanna—
Emily: She can carry your axe, she can carry you.
Zac: Yeah.
Brennan: Ayda is going to fly. One, two, three, four, five. Gorgug, she picks you up and begins to fly up with you. She forgoes casting a spell and gets you, yeah, she gets you like 40 feet up.
Zac: Hell yeah.
Brennan: And begins to carry you up the side of the staircase. (mimics wind rushing) That is going to be, Gorgug, that's your turn, you're being carried right now.
Zac: Hell yeah, okay, am I close to the Elders?
Brennan: Yes, you're equidistant. Ayda could drop you on the sprite, the centaur, or the wood elf right now.
Zac: Gosh. I guess I'll just drop down on the sprite, I was wrong. And I'm gonna take Reckless Attacks on the sprite as I fall down and Frenzy.
Brennan: Hell yeah, baby. Take your attacks.
Zac: Okay, first attack.
Ally: The sprite's on my neck, right? (laughs)
Brennan: Be careful.
Zac: Does a 29 hit? Second attack, 26. Third attack—
Lou: God damn.
Brennan: Yeah, that all hits.
Zac: Third attack, another 26.
Siobhan: Nice.
Brennan: That'll do it.
Lou: It's a hot day. Sun’s out.
Brennan: Hell yeah.
Zac: So that would be 3d12. 10 and an 8 and an 11 plus 8, 16, 24.
Murph: 29 plus 24?
Zac: 10, 8, 11, 29 plus 24 you said? Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. So that's 53 points of damage.
Brennan: Jesus Christ.
Ally: Wow.
Brennan: You wail into this thing. (mimics air rushing) And as you do so it goes, like tons of husks and skin, like it's shedding its skin over and over again litter the steps under the rain. This thing is on death's door after three attacks, almost completely gone.
Gorgug: Get out of here, you paper lantern.
Group laughs.
[tense, evil-sounding orchestral track starts]
Brennan: Okay, however now this centaur is going to charge. You see this centaur, I'm going to need a DC 15 Constitution saving throw from both Adaine and Gorgug.
Siobhan: Ooh, DC 13?
Zac: 15 or 13?
Brennan: 15.
Siobhan: 15. Okay, I have 15.
Zac: 23.
Brennan: Okay, what you see occurring to you now. Let's roll some damage, baby.
Lou: I don't like it.
Siobhan: It's personal.
Lou: Hot dog.
Brennan: 9, 17, 23, 30. Adaine and Gorgug each take 18 points of necrotic damage, Gorgug, that is not halved for you. Tracker and Aelwyn, Tracker and Aelwyn both fully go down and are at zero. As this centaur (growls deeply) just opens its rotting, wooden jaw and bellows out this blast of decaying, moss-covered, rotten wood necrotic energy, Tracker—
Siobhan: This isn't a spell, this is an effect?
Brennan: This is an effect, yeah.
Siobhan: Okay.
Brennan: That is its turn. That is going to be Adaine, that's you.
Siobhan: Okay, did you say that the centaur was also made of wood?
Brennan: Yes.
Siobhan: Great, then I would like to cast chromatic orb at a second level on the centaur using fire damage.
Brennan: Absolutely. Also cool, you cast using fire damage. Go ahead and make your attack roll.
Siobhan: That is a 21 to hit.
Brennan: 21 hits.
Siobhan: Great, oh God. 5 plus 8 is just 13 damage.
Brennan: 13 damage?
Siobhan: I rolled two ones.
Brennan: No worries, you deal 13 points of damage.
Siobhan: But that's fire damage again.
Brennan: Fire damage. (mimics fire roaring)
Siobhan: And then I'll take as much movement as I can up the stairs which is only 15 feet, but I'll take it.
Brennan: Yeah you begin to surge up the steps. You rush up, Aelwyn and Tracker are both now behind you unconscious on the ground. That is going to be, you guys hear lightning striking up on top of the ledge and you see light as something magical occurs up on the ledge above you.
Zac: Oh, God.
Emily: Guys, I think we gotta get up there even if it means splitting up.
Siobhan: Yeah.
Brennan: This thundering, massive treant, boom, boom, boom, heads down and is gonna take some swings at Fabian.
Lou: Bring it on.
Brennan: Fabian, you take 9, 18, 6, 24, you take 36 points of damage as this thing wails you twice. Boom boom, what's Fabian at right now?
Lou: 55.
Brennan: You take 55 points of damage. (mimics blows landing) And that is going to be the wood elf's turn.
Lou: You said 36 points of damage, correct?
Brennan: I did, yes.
Lou: Great.
Brennan: That's a miss on Fabian.
Lou: Riposte.
Brennan: Hell yeah, go for it. The wood elf misses you twice.
Lou: I think I can only Riposte once. 21 to hit?
Brennan: 21 hits.
Lou: Great. 13 plus 9, 22 points of damage.
Brennan: Ooh, baby, 22?
Lou: Yes, 22.
Brennan: 22, you lash out. (mimics blows landing) Fandrangor scores across him again. This guy's looking hurt right now. That is the wood elf. We are back to the top of the order. It is Sandra Lynn's turn again. She is gonna turn around and fire twice on Fig.
Fig: Bring it on. Bring it on, Mom. You'll only make me stronger, huh.
Riz: It's not her, Fig, it's not her.
Fig: Bring it on, I get it, this is personal!
Riz: No, it's not personal, it's the opposite of personal.
Brennan: Fig, she hits you once for nine points of damage.
Emily: I'm going to, I was saving my reaction in case I needed a counter spell, but I'm going to Cutting Words. And subtract 7 from that attack.
Brennan: The attack misses.
Murph: Nice.
Brennan: What's your current HP total?
Emily: My current HP is not good. It is...
Zac: 16 or something?
Emily: 23!
Zac: Oh, 23.
Brennan: 23, copy that. You snark at your mom, the arrow flies off and does not strike true. Fabian, I'm gonna need a Constitution saving throw from you.
Lou: What, why?
Brennan: The beginning of your turn, that's why.
Lou: 15.
Brennan: You pass, the drone of that sprite does not knock you unconscious like it wants to.
Zac: Did it move towards him?
Lou: Oh, hot.
Brennan: What's that?
Zac: Did it move to Fabian from me?
Brennan: It did not move towards him, it's just, it's an aura. Fabian, that's your turn.
Lou: Great, can I have The Hangman attempt to grapple the wood elf?
Brennan: Yes, The Hangman also in this form has a fire breath ability.
Lou: What, when were you gonna tell me that?
Fabian: Hangman, spit lava at that big tree motherfucker!
Brennan: He goes,
Hangman: Sire, I can get the elf and the tree.
Fabian: Oh, yes!
Brennan: Awesome.
Siobhan: MVP, The Hangman.
Lou: I love...
Brennan: Okay, baby.
Lou: And I'll take my first of two attacks on the wood elf.
Brennan: Hell yes.
Lou: Great.
Brennan: That wood elf is struggling, baby. The Hangman (roars) just belches fire at both of them. Go ahead and take your attacks.
Lou: First one hits for 27.
Brennan: That is great.
Lou: I'll burn another first level spell slot for Fandrangor. Great, d8 plus d6, awesome. That'll be 15 on the first hit.
Brennan: 15 hits.
Lou: Or no, 15 damage.
Brennan: Damage, oh, on your first attack you skewer the elven elder through the head and he collapses into boiling pustules and slimes away.
Ally: Ooh.
Lou: Great. And then I guess I'll move to engage with this big treant.
Ally: Am I next to slime?
Brennan: You're about like 20 feet away.
Ally: Oh, never mind, sorry, okay.
Lou: Yeah, I'll swing on this treant.
Brennan: Yeah, go for it.
Lou: That's gonna be, ooh, that's really good, that's 30.
Zac: Kristen thinks it's Gak.
Ally: [laughs] I wanted to take some.
Lou: And I'll make this--
Siobhan: Put it on some newspapers.
Zac mimes squishing silly putty. Ally pretends to open a newspaper.
Lou: I'll make this a Defensive Flourish so another d6. Hell yes, oh, that's good. That's 17 damage to the ent. Excuse me, 17 plus six so 23 damage to the ent and my AC for the next round is 25.
Siobhan: Wow.
Brennan: [laughing, impressed] Oh my god, incredible.
Ally: Yes, yes.
Emily: Wooo!
Brennan: Okay, and how much damage is that again, sorry?
Lou: I did 8, 14 plus 9 for 23.
Brennan: 23 points of damage, hell yeah, awesome. You skewer the tree, Defensive Flourish, moving as fast as you can. As you do so you leap under its swinging branches, just doing your absolute best to stay away. After Fabian that is going to be Riz, that's you, baby.
Murph: Sweet, is there, I know Fabian asked this before, but is there any area that is like a big fall by the side of the stairs or is just like 50 feet? I mean, 50 feet's a decent fall, but.
Brennan: Oh, 50 feet, you're way up so your fall is more like 80 or 90 feet.
Murph: Okay.
Brennan: 'Cause you're higher up the stairs so kicking someone over the edge would be a farther fall.
Murph: Okay, sweet, I'm gonna ask a shenanigans question.
Brennan: Go for it.
Murph: Okay. So I have a grappling canister. It grants me a fly speed but I imagine it being almost like a grappling hook thing.
Brennan: Yes, absolutely.
Murph: I would like to channel Emily Axford in a different game and jump off the edge and try to shoot the grappling thing at the centaur to pull him off with me.
Emily: Ooh, Thorn Whip babe, improvised Thorn Whip, yes, yes my man!
Brennan: Okay, give me an attack roll to hit the centaur.
Zac: That is absolutely sick.
Lou: This is badass.
Siobhan: So sick.
Ally: Here we go.
Lou: Secret agent The Ball for sure.
Siobhan: Absolutely rad.
Lou: Big time.
Murph: Oh baby, that's a 27.
Ally: Yes!
Lou: Oh, yes.
Brennan: Definite hit.
Adaine: Riz, you look so hot.
Kristen: Wow, The Ball.
Gorgug: I think he’s doing it.
Fig: Yeah!
Adaine: He's doing it. He's really doing it.
Brennan: I'm gonna say that this is—
Gorgug: Look at that confidence.
Murph: Just I have cool hair under my stupid newsboy cap that comes off in the rain.
Adaine: You've had that cool haircut the whole time?
Emily: You’re like the guy in The Expanse that takes it off and has a really intense haircut.
Murph: Timothée Chalamet hair that comes down.
Zac: You just have amazing hair and you never showed it off.
Fabian: Damn, The Ball.
Adaine: I've literally never seen him without his hat, even in sleepovers. He always wears his hat.
Murph: He's hot without the hat.
Brennan: I'm gonna go ahead and say that this is the same DC that your other bullets are, we'll call it a DC 15. This centaur is gonna roll a Strength saving throw to try to avoid this, I'll roll right now. [seeing what he rolled, he closes his eyes and claps his hands like he’s praying] That is a natural 1.
Group cheers.
Brennan: You run sideways, even the possessed Ragh and Sandra Lynn and everybody, Ragh is gonna get a swing on you unless you wanna bonus action disengage which you could.
Murph: I need a bonus action to live.
Brennan: Oh, gotcha, yes, yes, yes, for sure. So you rush to the side. As you do so you, oh, so he's gonna get a swing on you.
Murph: Yeah, he gets a swing.
Emily: Ragh doesn't have Sentinel or anything, does he?
Brennan: He does not.
Emily: Okay, cool, then I won't.
Brennan: He misses you.
Murph: Great.
Siobhan: Great.
Brennan: You leap off the side, grappling, wraps around the centaur, the centaur. (growls) Snap, bam, and as you fall the weight of you like flying off you swing, the centaur goes up on its hind legs, takes a couple faltering steps back, goes over the side and is about 60 feet up so will take 6d6 points of falling damage. Riz, go ahead and give me that falling damage, roll 6d6.
Lou: Damn, The Ball, God damn.
Murph: This'll hopefully take him out for a while. Literally stolen from Emily.
Siobhan: Steal from the best.
Murph: That's just—
Emily: Leap off, Thorn Whip, Misty Step back.
Murph: 16 damage.
Brennan: 16 damage.
Murph: Yeah.
Brennan: Okay.
Ally: Wow.
Brennan: Hell yeah. But you get him out of the fight, he's off the staircase. (groans) (mimics thudding landing) Centaur hits the bottom. You however are now also off the staircase.
Murph: Sweet, I will use my once-a-day Misty Step with my sword to (mimics wind whipping) back.
Ally: Sick.
Brennan: You're back on the staircase, baby, bam.
Emily: Yeah, buddy.
Brennan: Shoom! That is Riz's turn, Fig, that's you.
Emily: Okay, I wanna use my skateboard to get to where this ritual's happening.
Brennan: Hell yeah.
Emily: This ritual's happening on the ledge outside, right?
Brennan: Yes, up above you.
Emily: Okay.
Lou: Do you still look like Kalina?
Emily: Yeah, baby.
Ally: Kalina on a skateboard.
Emily: I still look Kalina. Kalina's really good at skateboarding.
Ally: Kalina grinding.
Emily: Before I go because I don't know which I'm gonna do once I get up there, I run and real quick say,
Fig: Hey Kristen, show me that picture you drew of your Goddess just so I know what they look like.
Kristen: My blood photo?
Fig: Yeah—
Kristen: My photo that I drew with my own blood, of course.
Fig: Yeah, yeah.
Ally: Okay, cool, I do, it's huge.
Fig: Just so I know, thank you.
Gorgug: Oh, God.
Emily: And then I wanna use my skateboard to get to where the ritual's happening and then I wanna know what the scene looks like up there.
[music changes to a discordant, tense orchestral piece]
Brennan: Hell yeah, one, two, three. You get to the ledge. Here is what you see up above you on the ledge. Crashing thunder and lightning. The cottage has fully appeared up here. The tree is at the edge hanging over the side of the cliff. Arianwen is 40 feet above the ground surrounded by a cyclone. As you get to the top you see the unicorn turns to look at you, Killian turns to look at you, and Kalina is leaning with her back against the tree, smiles, and waves at you.
Emily: Okay.
Brennan: That is the scene you see.
Emily: I think what I'm gonna do, so a phantasmal image would be extra powerful here, correct? Like anything that had a description in it that had a phantasmal image would have double the illusion magic or something?
Brennan: Correct.
Emily: I want to cast Fear and create the image of this goddess that Kristen told me about in the minds of all of them.
Brennan: Hell yes, you go ahead and cast phantasmal. What level spell is that?
Emily: This is Fear. It's a level three, you project a phantasmal image of a creature's worst fears. I'm assuming that this goddess coming back to life would be scary to at least the unicorn who it seems conspired against them. And each creature within a 30-foot cone must succeed a Wisdom saving throw or drop whatever it's holding and become frightened.
Brennan: Gotcha.
Emily: So I'm hoping to disrupt the ceremony.
Brennan: You throw that awesome spell which would be dope as hell. Arianwen hits you with a Counterspell.
Emily: Counterspell, can't I Counterspell hers?
Brennan: Ooh, you can Counterspell hers!
Emily: Yeah, now I'm out of third level spells. Hope no one needs a Revivify. (laughs)
Brennan: Cool, you cast Fear. Hold on, I just wanna read the actual wording of the fear spell real quick. So it's, you project a phantasmal image of a creature's worst fears. Each creature in a on a Wisdom saving throw or drop whatever it is holding and become frightened for the duration. It has to take a dash action. And you're casting it on Killian, Kalina, and Arianwen right now, correct?
Emily: Yeah, and the unicorn.
Brennan: The unicorn is off to one side near the cottage and you can't hit them both from where you're standing.
Emily: Okay, then yeah, I will favor those first three that you said.
Brennan: Those people, awesome. I'm going to roll some saving throws right now for them. This is a wisdom saving throw I believe, correct?
Emily: Can I use Reckless Shred to give one of them disadvantage?
Brennan: The way Reckless Shred works now is you've gotta do it first. So you've gotta take disadvantage first and then do it to someone else the next round.
Emily: Okay, I see.
Brennan: Hold on one second. You see, okay, we'll roll these real quick. Kalina is immune to the frightened condition.
Emily: But wouldn't she still have to contend with the reality of the goddess being there 'cause it's like a scary image but it's illusion magic or am I incorrect in...
Brennan: I think the wording of the spell is, you project a phantasmal image of a creature's worst fears so I don't think you get to dictate necessarily what the image is that they're seeing.
Emily: Oh, okay, in that case can I just do Phantasmal Force then on one of them?
Brennan: Sure, yeah, absolutely.
Emily: Which creates an illusion that takes root in the mind of a creature and I'll try to do it on Arianwen, and I want to create the illusion that she lost her magic powers.
Brennan: Ooh, that's really good. Okay, let's see this. She succeeds on her saving throw and resists the Phantasmal Force. You see that she is surrounded by these crazy winds that whip all around her. As she does so you see that she looks over at you and says,
Arianwen: Not enough time, not enough time!
Brennan: Rips open a seam in space and pulls the crown of the Nightmare King out of an extradimensional space in front of her. Any bonus actions from Fig on that turn?
Emily: Yes, I would like Baby invisible to try to go grab the Nightmare Crown. (chuckles)
Brennan: Hell yes.
Lou: This is what he's for. This is it, this is his mission.
Brennan: All right, opposed Athletics checks. Go ahead and roll for Baby if you would be so kind.
Lou: Oh, hell yes, it's already happening? I love it.
Brennan: He flies right up to her.
Lou: Let's go Baby.
Zac: The two strongest people in the world.
Murph: Come on, Baby.
Lou: Let's go, Baby.
Murph: Come on, Baby.
Ally: He's invisible, wouldn't that be advantage?
Siobhan: Baby versus Mommy.
Brennan: Not on an Athletics check.
Lou: Come on Baby, what's up Baby?
Emily: 12.
Murph: 12.
Siobhan: You got it, Baby.
Brennan: Oh, okay.
Siobhan: Nobody puts Baby in a corner.
Brennan: You see that Arianwen does get fucked up as Baby starts going like,
Baby: (laughs) Let me touch it!
Brennan: And she goes,
Arianwen: What the, what?
Brennan: That is Fig's turn.
Emily: So just so I can be clear, did we use those Counterspells or not just because I didn't use the Fear thing.
Brennan: Yes, you did make her use one of her Counterspells, absolutely, death saving throw for Aelwyn, okay.
Zac: Um, shit.
Siobhan: What was that?
Zac: A death saving throw for Aelwyn?
Brennan: If no one's making a medicine check on her no one knows.
Siobhan: Fuck, God damn it.
Ally: I have an idea. I have an idea.
Siobhan: Okay.
Brennan: Okay, Ragh is going to rush over to Riz again. And he's gonna keep wailing on Riz.
Riz: This isn't you anymore, Ragh, this isn't you anymore.
Brennan: He hits once and is going to deal Riz 14 points of damage.
Murph: Cool, I'll use Uncanny Dodge to halve it.
Brennan: Cool, how much is Riz at right now?
Murph: I am now at 44.
Brennan: 44, baby. That is going to be, Tracker is going to make a death saving throw. Okay. That is going to be Kristen.
Ally: Okay—
Brennan: I'm actually gonna need you at the beginning of your turn to give me a Constitution saving throw.
Ally: Okay.
: We gotta get rid of this sprite.
Murph: The sprite's on death's door I think, right.
Siobhan: Yeah, Jesus, this fucking sprite.
Ally: Nat 1.
Brennan: Kristen goes unconscious.
Siobhan: Fuck.
Lou: Fuck.
Brennan: Full unconscious.
Emily: I'll come back, guys.
Ally: Wait, didn't the sprite get hit like three times? Wouldn't that have knocked it off of me?
Brennan: No, it's its Drone ability. When your turn starts you have to roll Constitution or get knocked unconscious.
Ally: Oh, Human Determination? Do I still have that?
Brennan: You do still have that.
Ally: Okay, I get get to re-roll one thing.
Brennan: Yes.
Murph: Come on.
Brennan: Go for it.
Lou: Yes, this is it.
Ally: 19, 19, 19!
Brennan: Yeah, baby, all right. You got the grit.
Ally: Fuck yeah, thank God.
Lou: My heart, dude. (laughs)
Zac makes a pained groan, then laughs.
Brennan: Go for it.
Ally: Okay, I'm gonna run to be next to Tracker and...
Brennan: And Aelwyn?
Ally: Yeah, and Aelwyn.
Brennan: Cool.
Ally: And then I'm gonna cast Aura of Life so 30 feet, people who are at zero HP bump up to one.
Brennan: Hell yes.
Ally: And they have resistance to necrotic damage and they can't lose any HP and this lasts for 10 minutes.
Brennan: Holy shh.
Zac: They can't lose HP?
Ally: But it's Concentration.
Brennan: Aura of life. Oh my God, that's amazing.
Ally: One of my new things.
Brennan: In addition, a nonhostile living creature regains one hit point, sorry, in addition, a nonhostile, living creature regains one hit point when it starts its turn in the aura with 0 hit points so on their next turn they pop back up.
Ally: Okay, cool, so I have to stay there I guess to keep them in my aura.
Brennan: You have to stay there. You cast the spell, that is now your concentration spell that is active.
Ally: So if I Mass Healing Word can I hit them to pop them back up?
Brennan: Yeah, you wouldn't even have to run back down the staircase to do that. You could just Mass Healing Word them right now as well.
Ally: Okay, then skip the Aura of Life.
Zac: It might be better to, yeah.
Ally: Yeah, forget that.
Brennan: Cool.
Murph: You could also shoot a cantrip at the sprite, too.
Ally: I think I'm gonna do Channel Divinity: Turn Undead because then wouldn't these full undead people--
Siobhan: Yeah, they're all undead.
Murph: Maybe.
Ally: They'd have to hit a wisdom DC of 17 or else they have to start running away.
Siobhan: Yes.
Zac: Is that an action or a bonus action?
Murph: It's just the tree and the sprite now, right?
Ally: It's an ability.
Zac: But it is an action or a bonus action?
Ally: Oh, it's just an action so then I could bonus action Mass Healing Word and pop Tracker and Aelwyn back up.
Brennan: Go for it.
Siobhan: And Ayda as well.
Ally: Okay.
Emily: Hey, Ayda's down?
Siobhan: I think so, yeah.
Brennan: No, Ayda's not down.
Emily: Ayda's not down.
Siobhan: Oh, it's just Tracker and Aelwyn?
Ally: 13.
Brennan: 13, cool, how many targets can you pick?
Ally: I can do up to six.
Brennan: Hey, throw it around, baby.
Ally: So I'll do, yeah, yeah.
Brennan: So Aelwyn--
Ally: Aelwyn, Tracker.
Siobhan: I'm at 35 right now.
Ally: Did we just say that Ayda's looking bad?
Brennan: Ayda has not been injured at all so don't hit Ayda.
Ally: Oh, nevermind.
Siobhan: I'm at 35 and Fig is at 23.
Ally: Okay yeah, we'll hit you, we'll hit Fig. Am I close enough to Fig?
Brennan: You're not close enough to Fig, Fabian is here and Gorgug is here.
Zac: I mean, I could use it if you're...
Ally: Yeah, cool.
Brennan: Cool, awesome. So Adaine, what's your new total?
Siobhan: I don't know, what.
Brennan: 13.
Siobhan: Oh, adding 13 is 48.
Brennan: And Fabian and Gorgug, what's your new total?
Zac: I'm at 116.
Lou: 68.
Brennan: Hell yeah. Mass Healing Word is very good, awesome. That's your bonus action, what's your action gonna be?
Ally: My action is to do Channel Divinity: Turn Undead on the last of these elders.
Brennan: Ooh baby, let's do it.
Ally: So the Wisdom DC is 17 or else they gotta run. They're gonna run off the cliff.
Lou: They gotta run off the damn cliff.
Siobhan: Run away you damn tree!
Brennan: Sprite fails.
Murph: Nice.
Kristen: Fuck off, sprite!
Brennan: Treant succeeds. I'm gonna say that the sprite was at such low hit points that you just sunder the sprite. It is fully fucking gone. You watch the sprite be utterly just unmade in this moment.
Ally: Sweet.
Brennan: Boom. Sprite and its horrible drone are gone, treant resists. Awesome turn from Kristen.
Ally: Human Determination.
Zac: Whew, big difference that made.
Ally: Yeah. (laughs)
Brennan: It is Ayda's turn. You know what your girl Ayda is doing, baby. Ayda soars up that fucking staircase right to her girl's side.
Fig: What up, girl?
Brennan: She leaps into battle. You see, Fig, you are in tremendous danger right now. Killian, the unicorn, and Kalina are all making moves to go to you, Ayda lands--
Fig: Ayda, just so you know, I do have Cutting Words so you know. (laughs)
Brennan: You see Ayda looks at you and goes,
Ayda: A terrible situation, this is quite bad.
Brennan: You see she looks over at you and says--
Fig: I was just trying to disrupt the ceremony. I figured we had to do it even if it meant someone went down.
Brennan: No she says,
Ayda: Oh, I mean all of these villains. You're a genius and I love you with all my heart.
Fig: Aw, we really have to have a little one on one at some point 'cause we're just always in battle when we see each other.
Brennan: Make a Perception check for me, Fig.
Emily: Nat 1, my second nat 1 of the day.
Brennan: Ooh, no, okay.
Murph: You have luck points, right?
Emily: Oh yeah, luck point.
Ally: Burn it.
Emily: I mean, my Perception isn't good, it's still only a 12.
Murph: You see Killian walking towards you. Fig, you look at Killian as he struts, he has all the power of a pit fiend at his disposal. There is a gem in his chest.
Emily grins and makes a knowing hum.
Siobhan: Oh, a ruby?
Fig: Ayda, do you wanna Plane Shift into that chest gem?
Siobhan: You've got your ruby.
Emily: Yeah. I think if we Plane Shift in there and then I. (hums)
Brennan: You see Ayda looks at you and says,
Ayda: Fascinating.
Fig: Just saying, like sometimes couples go on trips together.
Brennan: She smiles so wide. I mean, Ayda keeps her cards close and has just this broad grin breaks across her face and she goes,
Ayda: A trip sounds lovely. And you know what they say, keep your friends close and your enemies as close as possible.
Brennan: She picks you up in her strong arms.
Fig: Pretty close, pretty close.
Brennan: And flies straight at Killian, you are surrounded by shifting runes of orange flame and both of you rocket inside of the gem. (roars) You are standing in roiling flame. Your big daddy Gorthalax is bound in the center of this gem, looks at both of you and goes,
Gorthalax: Fig, I can't believe you're here!
Fig: Hey, I did this to you, but now me and my girlfriend are gonna undo it to you.
Brennan: You see he says,
Gorthalax: Girlfriend, oh, is this?
Brennan: You see Ayda says,
Ayda: Gorthalax the Insatiable, master of, or I should say former master of the Bottomless Pit. I am the wizard Ayda Aguefort. I am your daughter's paramour.
Fig: And she is my, whatever pit fiends have. Perhaps my succubus.
Brennan: You see Ayda, her eyebrows both go way up and she's like.
Ayda: Fascinating, that's incredible.
Group laugh.
Brennan: That is Ayda's turn. You have both Plane Shifted into the gem in the center of Killian's chest.
Emily: All right, I'll get us out of here in a second.
Brennan: Gorgug, that's you, baby.
Zac: Can I make a Perception check to see where that centaur is if it seems like it's gonna come back up behind people?
Brennan: Yes, it looks like it's still alive, but it will take a long time getting up the staircase after you guys.
Zac: Okay, in that case I am just going to, is the treant next to the edge or not really?
Brennan: It's kind of in the middle of the staircase?
Zac: Okay, I'm just gonna get behind this treant and take three Reckless, you know, Frenzy attacks.
Brennan: Oh hell yeah, go for it.
Zac: Timber, baby.
Lou: Timber.
Ally: Timber!
Zac: That is a oh, does a 23 hit?
Brennan: Yes, it does.
Zac: Okay. Here's the real test, does a 17 hit?
Brennan: 17 hits.
Murph: Nice.
Lou: Wooo!
Zac: Does a 25 hit?
Brennan: Hell yeah.
Zac: I can't crit even when I can crit on 19. 14, so 15 plus well actually it's 9 now. Okay.
Brennan: Yes.
Zac: So 9, 18, 27. So 15 plus 27, 30...
Murph: 42?
Zac: 42.
Lou: 42.
[gentle music begins to pick up and become more epic and orchestral]
Brennan: Damn, okay. Incredible. The gravity, you're fighting a big, giant tree. This gravity axe hums, baby, (hums) bam! Just like wood chips go flying as you hew just like giant 40-degree wedges out of the side of this treant.
Ally: Woooo!
Gorgug: Sorry about it.
Brennan: You see, awesome turn. The centaur gets back to the bottom of the staircase and then it is Killian's turn. Five, ten, fifteen, twenty, twenty-five. Riz, Killian, eyes burning red, flaming chest open advances on you with all the power of a pit fiend. He is going to unload on you. I am going to... Ooh, boy.
Murph: And my reaction I used this round, right?
Brennan: Yeah.
Murph: Okay.
Brennan: Okay. Riz, first let me know when you drop 'cause you're gonna drop.
Murph: Okay.
Lou: Oh, bold, bold, Brennan.
Brennan: 21 points of damage.
Murph: Still up.
Zac: Is he...
Emily: Is it too much of a stretch to say I could Cutting Words from inside the gem.
Brennan: Yeah.
Emily: Okay.
Brennan: 29 plus you take 37 on the next attack.
Murph: I'm down.
Brennan: Riz is fully dead.
Murph stares right into the camera, alarmed.
Brennan: He gets two more attacks on you. Killian's hands are covered in flame. He grabs Riz's throat, chokes him, picks him up, slams him into the stone steps. They crater, rubble, Riz is fully dead.
Emily: For the record, I do have a third level spell left 'cause when I switched to Phantasmal Force that's a second level spell just for the record so that everyone knows.
Ally: Cool.
Murph: Cool.
Ally: So we do, but we yeah. I also have a reviving spell, but we need you to make me a fake gem.
Emily: I can do that.
Brennan: All of you watch Riz die. You sense how powerful your enemies are here, how exhausted your allies are. You feel no matter how brave you are with all your friends here at the edge of your mind is fear. This might not happen for you. Following, Adaine, that's your turn.
Siobhan: Okay, I'd like to talk to Aelwyn.
Zac: Wait, is not Fig's turn?
Brennan: Fig already went.
Emily: Yeah, that wasn't, Riz got attacked, but that wasn't Riz's turn.
Brennan: That was Killian's turn. That is going to be Adaine. You can talk to Aelwyn.
Adaine: Aelwyn, okay. We're here and we need to be there. Do you have anything that can get us up there?
Brennan: You're gonna actually have to delay your turn.
Siobhan: That's fine.
Brennan: Cool.
Siobhan: Or if she has like a, I don't know if she has a Dimension Door or a Thunder Step or something like that or Fly.
Brennan: She may, she may.
Siobhan: But can I not talk to her now?
Brennan: It hasn't gotten to her turn yet so she hasn't popped up— Oh no, Mass Healing Word, I'm crazy, nevermind. You can absolutely talk to Aelwyn. Aelwyn says,
Aelwyn: Stay where you are, hold. I can get us up to the top.
Siobhan: Great, I'll hold my action for Aelwyn.
Brennan: You hold. You see…in a blast of ice Arianwen destroys Baby.
Lou: No!
Emily: I'm not there, though, I am in the gem, right? Do I..?
Brennan: You feel Baby go.
Zac: Oh no.
Fig: But, but, he just wanted to whisper and scream.
Zac: He probably died doing what he loved.
Emily: You’re right, feeling.
Murph: You know, being a little rascal, screaming.
Emily: I think I make a solemn promise in my heart that Baby, I will make you again. I made you once from my blood, I can make you again.
Brennan: You guys, Baby goes and you guys can see over the crest Arianwen has risen up even higher into the sky. She releases the crown and it floats off the edge of the ledge, lightning strikes, and you see like a cyclone descending to touch the earth. The clouds (roaring) form a column. And from that swirling tornado of cloud and storm you see two limbs of cloud as though something were standing up, balancing itself as tall as a mountain preparing to stand. You see… That is going to now be the elder treant. Hold on one second. You see that the treant is going to go and swing on you, Gorgug.
Lou: Can I impose disadvantage on one of those swings?
Brennan: On the first one which means it will be a straight roll.
Fabian: As a protector I'd like to protect my friends.
Gorgug: Protect me, Fabian, please. ...Nah, I can handle it.
Brennan: Fabian, it comes down about to rain a blow on top of Gorgug and as it does you leap forward, skid, and kick one of its giant tree limb legs. It stumbles and smashes into the ground an inch away from Gorgug.
Fabian: Spring break, I believe in you, I've lost one friend, that's too many.
Brennan: It's gonna take its second swing on you as punishment for doing that. What's your AC now?
Lou: 25.
Brennan: That is a full ass miss, my guy. Whoom! [swings]
Lou: What's up.
Brennan: This thing has a plus 10 to hit.
Lou: There you go.
Brennan: Okay, wood elf is dead. Back at the top of the order. That is going to be Sandra Lynn is going to fire on Gorgug. That's a hit and a crit. 12, 17, 29 halved to 14 damage to Gorgug.
Zac: Okay. I'm at 102.
Brennan: Ooh, baby.
Ally: Wow.
Brennan: That's Sandra Lynn, Fabian, that's you.
Lou: How far is Riz's body from me and how bad does this treant look?
Brennan: Treant is still standing. I mean, it's taken some damage, but it's still up.
Lou: Yeah, how far is Riz's body?
Brennan: Riz's body is probably about like 80 feet up from you.
Lou: Oof, and how far is Kristen from Riz?
Brennan: Kristen is even farther. She's about 15 feet down the stairs from you.
Lou: Great.
Zac: Riz is full dead right now, right?
Brennan: Correct.
Lou: Full dead.
Emily: Yeah, full dead. We gotta conjure a diamond and get a revive.
Lou: And Killian is over Riz?
Brennan: Yes, Killian is over Riz.
Lou: As soon as Fig is able to get out of Killian you'll be right over Riz, okay. In that case I think I'm gonna keep swinging on this ent so I'll take two attacks on him.
Brennan: Go for it.
Lou: First one's a 22.
Brennan: That'll do it.
Lou: I'll burn my last first level spell spot for Fandrangor. That's gonna be 8, 17 points of damage.
Brennan: Hell yeah.
Lou: Second. That's gonna be 29.
Brennan: 29 all together?
Lou: No, 29 to hit.
Brennan: That hits.
Lou: And I'm gonna, I'm just gonna roll flat.
Brennan: Cool.
Lou: God, and that's only 10 damage on a second hit.
Brennan: Bam, bam, you hit it. (mimics blows landing) Fandrangor comes out, hits this thing again. Also The Hangman goes.
Lou: Oh, how often can it use that breath weapon?
Brennan: Roll a d6, he recharges on a five or six.
Lou: Four, he'll just take a regular attack.
Brennan: Cool.
Lou: Do you want me to roll that or will you?
Brennan: Yeah, you roll it plus 5.
Lou: 21.
Brennan: That hits. Roll 1d8 plus 2d6 plus 3.
Lou: Jesus, 1d8 plus 2d6 plus 3? I love that.
Siobhan: Wow.
Zac: Got a lot better.
Lou: 8 plus 13 plus 3.
Brennan: Hell yeah.
Lou: And I will use Second Wind for 14 more HP.
Brennan: Hell yeah, that is, that is going to be...
Emily: Fig?
Brennan: I think so. Hold on one second. Riz is fully dead, Figueroth, that is you. Sorry, you see the contingency, the thing that kills Gorthalax if the gem is fucked with around you as well.
Emily: That needs to be dispelled.
Brennan: That needs to be dispelled. Ayda looks at you and can take care of it.
Emily: Okay, Ayda, I need you to, here's what I wanna do. I wanna hold my action until Ayda dispels it then I wanna shatter the rubies. I don't know if that takes a full action to do, but then I wanna see if the shattered rubies can be enough to cast a Revivify with. Like if the value of it.
Brennan: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Emily: I don't know enough about how spell components work.
Brennan: I'll say depending on how hard you shred when you shatter rubies we'll make it a Performance check. If you can beat the DC you can keep enough rubies to Revivify.
Emily: Okay.
Lou: Let's go.
Emily: So I'm holding my action for Ayda.
Brennan: You hold your action for Ayda. Aelwyn is next to go.
Siobhan: Great.
Brennan: Aelwyn is going to, Aelwyn goes in between, Aelwyn rushes up the steps actually to be next to Kristen and readies an action to cast, 'cause Adaine, were you holding your action?
Siobhan: I was holding my action to get to, 'cause she said she could get us up the stairs.
Brennan: Okay, in that case, and Kristen can fly.
Siobhan: Yeah.
Brennan: So in that case Aelwyn does not hold any longer because too many people are holding. She runs in between Tracker and Adaine and straight up casts Teleport.
Siobhan: Sick.
Ally: Whoa.
Brennan: Uses her seventh level spell shot. She goes,
Aelwyn: [sighs] Waste of a teleport to go 100 feet, but time is of the essence.
Brennan: You see that she—
Adaine: Never a waste, very cool. Can't wait to learn that spell.
Brennan: She looks at you and says,
Aelwyn: Adaine, I would love to teach you this spell.
Siobhan makes high five motion.
Brennan: High fives. Cool, that's gonna be, boom, boom, and then Tracker. Where is Tracker? Hold on a sec here.
Zac: Tracker went right before Kristen, right?
Brennan: Yes, you see that, hold on one second though. You see… You guys all appear, boom, on the ledge watching this insane mountain-sized humanoid-shaped storm cloud begin to push itself up using its hands. All Tracker, Aelwyn, Adaine all appear in front of the cottage on the ledge above. The nearest thing to you is the great unicorn. You can also see your mother and Kalina. And that is Aelwyn's turn.
Siobhan: Okay, so it's my turn now.
Brennan: It's your turn now, yes.
Siobhan: Okay, does it look like there's more to this spell that my mother needs to do?
Brennan: It looks like she's done.
Siobhan: Or she's done?
Brennan: She's done.
Emily: Oh.
Siobhan: Okay, well here, how about this. The tree is here, right?
Brennan: Mm-hmm.
Siobhan: Okay, I would like to do a second level Chromatic Orb fire damage on the tree.
Brennan: Hell yeah, go for it.
Siobhan: Great, (groans) that's a 12. Does a 12 hit?
Brennan: A 12 does hit. It's a big ol' tree, you can hit the tree on a 12.
Siobhan: Great.
Lou: You could hit the tree on a 12.
Siobhan: Okay that's a little better. That's a 22, 22 damage to the magical tree.
Brennan: 22 damage to the magical tree which becomes 44 damage.
Murph: Nice.
Ally: Yes!
Brennan: Hell yeah. (mimics wind howling) Kalina starts in a dead sprint towards you, she goes,
Kalina: Oh, that's enough of that. [exertion noises]
Brennan: You cast that Chromatic Orb, that is Adaine's turn. You've used your readied action. Five, ten, fifteen, twenty, thirty, fourty, forty-five, fifty. Ragh uses a movement and a dash and closes with all three of you but is not able to attack but is just screaming in rage. After him is Tracker. Tracker calls down, and says,
Tracker: Kristen, babe, you got this!
Brennan: Reaches behind her and on a roll of a natural 19 touches the cottage and breaks the second of the five trans-substantiations.
Lou: Whoa!
Brennan: With a Dispel Magic.
Siobhan: Great.
Ally: Yes!
Brennan: You see way off on the other island, motes of light as all these celestials are returned to the planes they were captured from. Two down, three to go.
Zac: Three?
Siobhan: Yeah, we gotta figure out that name.
Lou: Kalina, name, and the tree.
Brennan: Kristen, that's you.
Ally: Wait, the tree isn't done yet, right?
Brennan: You're fighting the treant on the steps.
Ally: No, no, I mean sorry, of the trans-substantiation.
Brennan: The tree is not done yet, no.
Siobhan: I just did 44 damage to it.
Ally: Awesome, I have a question. If Kalina, if I'm not quite alive am I able to attack and hit Kalina?
Brennan: You are alive, you've resurrected yourself so you're back.
Ally: Oh, okay, okay, okay.
Brennan: You are flesh, blood, and spirit all again.
Ally: Can I do an Insight check on how to potentially get rid of Kalina? Like a Religion or is there anything that I would know?
Emily: What if you did Greater Restoration on Kalina?
Brennan: Greater Restoration could do it. You could potentially just defeat her physical body here. You think that with these curses there's a couple ways.
Ally: I have Remove Curse.
Brennan: That could possibly—
Ally: Can I just cast Remove Curse on Kalina?
Brennan: You think you would need to drop her to be able to do that. In the same way you needed to have the coin and needed to produce the cottage and you will probably need to chop down the tree to get the broom you will need to probably defeat Kalina to put the final blow on her.
Ally: Okay then I'm just going to hit, am I closer to Sandra Lynn or Ragh?
Brennan: They're both way up the steps from you, but you could fly and probably get within spell range of some of them.
Ally: Okay, I'll do that. And I'll get it--
Brennan: Yeah, what spell are you thinking?
Ally: Remove Curse.
Brennan: What's the range on that?
Ally: Remove Curse has, oh it's touch.
Brennan: So you have to spend your turn getting up there.
Ally: Interesting, interesting, interesting, okay. Yeah, I guess I'll do that, I'll fly up and who needs heals? Anyone I can do another bonus action or?
Siobhan: I mean, I'm at 48, I would take a heal if you're giving them out.
Zac: You're pretty far away, right?
Siobhan: But you're...
Brennan: You could probably hit Gorgug or Fabian where you are, but I think they're both pretty up there.
Ally: They're both fine, okay, then I'll just use my bonus action to do another Step of the Brave so I can keep flying.
Brennan: Cool.
Ally: And I'll just use my whole action to get in the mix.
Brennan: Yeah, you're getting up in the mix. You are way closer to the top of the staircase now.
Ally: Great.
Brennan: After Kristen's turn, the sprite is destroyed. Ayda, Ayda,
Ayda: Mr. The Insatiable, please consider this a kind offering to your family, and I hope, I hate to be a traditionalist, and Fig, I know you love rebellion so even if he says no I would still aid you.
Fig: If anything maybe he should say no, right? So that I can rebel against it.
Ayda: Oh, that's very fun. Mr. The Insatiable, I don't care whether you want me to date your daughter or not, but I hope you like me. [energy noises as she casts]
(group laughing)
Brennan: And you see that she breaks the contingency. Gorthalax's chains come off, baby.
Emily: Yeah.
Brennan: Boom, he hits the deck. You see he has been tortured for weeks as well so he's got the same exhaustion everyone else does, but he's a full-ass pit fiend so even four levels of exhaustion leaves a pretty fucking terrifying being. Fig, your readied action, baby.
Emily: I shatter the rubies so that we all get spit out.
Siobhan: I love this song!
Brennan: I'm gonna say it is a DC 20 Performance check to preserve enough ruby fragments to have the equivalent needed for Revivify.
Emily: Okay. First is a fail, however I'm gonna use a luck point.
Brennan: Woo!
Ally: Nice.
Emily: Yeah, baby! Okay, that's gonna be a, let me just add this up so that you can all just cream your jeans.
Lou: I'm trying to cream my jeans, dude, let's do this.
Murph: I'm looking to cream.
Zac: Let's cream our jeans.
Emily: 31!
Group cheers. Brennan mouths “31?” in shock.
Zac: My Jeans!
Ally: Cream!
Brennan: No, no, no, no, no, no.
Murph: My jeans are ruined.
Siobhan: Mean as hell.
Emily: Fill ‘em with cream!
Lou: I'mma need new jeans!
Brennan: You see Gorthalax, boom, hits the deck inside of the gem. As he does so he looks up at Ayda, smiles, looks at you and goes,
Gorthalax: Oh, why don't you go ahead and shred, baby girl.
[music changes to a Slammin’ metal riff]
Fabian and Siobhan briefly headbang.
Brennan: And you hit that fucking bass. The gem explodes. Fig, as a bonus action Performance you shred which not only deposits an exhausted Gorthalax onto the battlefield, it blows up Killian's entire body, boom!
Lou: Jesus!
Brennan: Fig, you have, this was a TPK in waiting and in an instant it has shifted back.
Emily cheers.
Brennan: You have your action left.
Siobhan: You love to see it.
Emily: I have my action left? I scoop up that ruby and I revive fucking Riz!
Murph leans back in his chair and plays dead.
Group cheers and dances.
Zac: You look so dead.
Fig: Hey Ayda, check out what I just learned!
Brennan: I do my deep bass note that gets your heart thumping again.
Lou: Ooh, yeah.
Brennan: You see Ayda looks up and you and goes,
Ayda: You have mastered life and death?
Fig: Yes.
Ayda: [closing her eyes briefly] Incredible, incredible incredible, wow.
Fig: I don't think I coulda done it if you didn't make me feel like I was worth it.
Ayda: Oh, my skin is so hot, and normally it's hot, but it's hotter than normal.
Fig: I know, me, too.
Brennan: Riz, the first thing you see is you come back to life is Ayda and Fig hard flirting right over top of you.
Emily: I have like one hand reviving Riz, but then the other hand is kind of like, playing at almost touching her arm, but I'm like being shy about it.
Murph: I wake up just,
Riz: (gasps) Am I interrupting something?
Group laughs
Fig: Shh, shh.
Gorgug: Riz, you gotta give 'em space.
Fig: It's whatever, it's whatever.
Gorgug: Riz, give 'em space.
Murph: I just pretend that I'm still dead.
Gorgug: Riz, give them space!
Ally: Riz is covered in Killian's guts.
Murph: Yeah. [mimes shaking them off of himself]
Brennan: Incredible, so Gorthalax has fucking entered the battlefield. That is now gonna be Gorgug, that's you.
[slammin’ metal continues]
Zac: Yes! I'm just gonna keep attacking this treant because let's get this guy outta here. Let's get up there.
Lou: Let's do it my guy.
Brennan: Hell yes.
Zac: All right, three Reckless Attacks.
Brennan: Dope.
Zac: Does a 20 hit?
Brennan: Hell yes.
Lou: Hey.
Brennan: 21.
Lou: Hey.
Zac: Three hits, no crits.
Brennan: Oof.
Lou: Three hits, no crits.
Brennan: You're saving 'em for when it counts, baby.
Ally: Yeah.
Zac: 11, so 19 plus 27. 46 damage.
Siobhan: Jesus.
Brennan: [shaking his head, impressed] This treant is almost gone. He is just like, he's like a fucking Jenga tower there's so many things cleaved out of him.
Gorgug: Fabian, let me handle this, you get outta here.
Fabian: Well, I spent a lot of time working on this as well, all right? I'd like to think it's like a group project.
Gorgug: If you want it, I will get outta here.
Fabian: Yes, I'll get out of here.
Brennan: (laughs) Gorgug, you're just wailing on this fucking thing. Were those all Reckless by the way?
Zac: Yes, every attack I've done is Reckless, I have not crit.
Brennan: Gotcha, gotcha, incredible. You see, hold on one second.
Zac: Also, nevermind.
Brennan: Okay. You guys now see the centaur continues charging up the steps after you, And closes with Gorgug but does not have an attack. It has used its whole action to get there. Killian is dead, Adaine, that's you.
Siobhan: I guess I will keep hitting the tree.
Brennan: Hell yeah.
Siobhan: So I'm just gonna Fire Bolt it.
Brennan: Dope, go for it.
Siobhan: Which is, yeah. Yeah, I hit, I got a 23.
Brennan: 23, cool.
Siobhan: So that's 8 damage on the tree.
Brennan: Which becomes 16.
Siobhan: I am rolling so poorly.
Brennan: (mimics fire roaring) Still slinging fire at it, Ragh right in front of you. That is Adaine's turn.
Siobhan: Can I move far away enough away from Ragh that I'm further than 30 feet away from him?
Ally: Does someone have a Dispel Magic or something? Do you or—
Siobhan: No, I have almost—
Emily: I just used my last third level spell.
Siobhan: I only have first level spells left.
Emily: Yeah, I'm down to one second level spell.
Brennan: That is going to be, Ragh would get a swing on you if you move away from him.
Siobhan: Oh, he's within five feet of me?
Brennan: Within five feet of you, yes.
Siobhan: Okay, then I guess I'll fucking stay still.
Brennan: I am going to need a Constitution saving throw from Adaine.
Siobhan: (groans) It's a 5.
[music change: back to tense, epic battle music]
Brennan: You see, your mother floating in the sky turns to you, beholds you standing there and casts Power Word Pain.
Siobhan: Jesus.
Brennan: While the target is affected by crippling pain your speed cannot be higher than 10. You have disadvantage on attack rolls, ability checks, saving throws. If the target tries to cast a spell it must first succeed on a Constitution saving throw or the casting fails and the spell is wasted. You can make a Constitution saving throw at the end of each of your turns. On a successful save the pain ends.
Siobhan: Can I not, can I cast Shield?
Brennan: It's not an attack roll.
Siobhan: It's not an attack roll. Okay great,
Adaine: My mother is hurting me again, what's new?
Brennan: She turns to you flying overhead and says, looks at you. She has completed the ritual now. You see she says,
Arianwen: Insolent wretch.
Brennan: Looks at Aelwyn and says,
Arianwen: Where is your father?
Brennan: Aelwyn looks up and says,
Aelwyn: Um, well the last I saw Adaine killed him, so. [shrugs]
Brennan: And Arianwen looks at you, her lips disappear as her mouth sets in a stern countenance and she says,
Arianwen: [nods] All of this can yet be made right. You will pay, you will both pay, children.
Brennan: And that is Arianwen's turn. That's Gorthalax, baby. Gorthalax looks around, he's got four levels of exhaustion like everyone who's been captured for a long time has so his speed is halved, disadvantage on everything, but he's still tough as hell. He looks at this roiling cloud shape and he looks back at all of you guys and you see he says,
Gorthalax: Girl I love you, I'm gonna try to buy you some time, okay?
Fig: I love you pops, buy us some time!
Brennan: (growls) And he flies straight at this storm shape.
Zac: Oh my God.
Brennan: Takes out a flaming whip and a sword.
Lou: Okay!
Brennan: You guys hear the voice. The clouds part and you see glimpses of a crowned skull. The Nightmare King, taller than mountains, stands. Gorthalax flies straight for the king. You hear, colder than death,
The Nightmare King: [breathing raspily] Do you dare?
Brennan: And Gorthalax goes,
Gorthalax: [rumbling] Behold, Gorthalax, fallen. I listen to neither angel nor god! [growls]
Brennan: And you see he kind of looks over his shoulder at Fig and is like,
Gorthalax: [thumbs up] Pretty cool for your old dad, huh?
Fig: You rule, pops! (laughs)
Brennan: And he flies straight for the Nightmare King and is gonna take some attacks. And now here's where shit starts to get really fucking crazy.
Lou: Okay.
Brennan: Okay.
Emily: Okay.
Zac: It seemed crazy to me at that point.
Lou: We’re in it now?
Siobhan: Pretty crazy.
Lou: Exactly.
Emily: I'm really pretty crazy already, but I guess let's get crazier.
Zac: You described a crazy thing.
Brennan: So his fly speed is 30.
Zac: Whose?
Brennan: Oh, Gorthalax because he's exhausted so he's gonna go five, ten, fifteen, twenty, twenty-five, thirty. And he flies out over the sea of mist as the clouds begin to part around the 800-foot tall Nightmare King and (growls) just starts cracking this flaming whip and swinging with his sword. That is now going to be the treant who is gonna continue to take swings at Gorgug.
Lou: I impose disadvantage on one of them.
Brennan: Nat 1 on the disadvantage roll.
Gorgug: I'm sorry, my friend is helping me.
Gorgug: Spring break, I believe in you.
Fabian: Spring break, I believe in you. [points]
Emily: Spring break, I believe in you.
Brennan: Hits on a second one.
Lou: Spring break, I believe in you.
Zac: Okay.
Brennan: And deals Gorgug 11, 17 halved to 8 damage. That's the treant. That is now going to be. (humming) That's gonna be Kalina. You guys have not seen Kalina in action yet.
Lou: No, we haven't, Brennan.
Emily: Oh, you have 'cause I've been Kalina this whole time.
Siobhan: Oh yeah, so pretty badass.
Ally: Oh, she's always making out with her girlfriend.
Emily: Good call, I make with Ayda right now.
Zac: Riding a skateboard on grass.
Siobhan: And upstairs.
Lou: Yeah, she's pretty lame at times.
Brennan: Riz, you're back up with one hit point standing next to Ayda and Fig. Kalina, displacement, Mirror Images everywhere (mimics wind howling) appears in front of you. [shocked, hands up to his head] Oh shit, your tie! Okay.
Murph: [nodding] Yeah.
Brennan: She stands in front of you. As she's approaching you, Fig, you see she goes,
Kalina: Oh shit, I look good!
Brennan: And—
Fig: You're okay. I've seen better. I wear you well, you know? I'm like a really flattering mirror. Like an H&M mirror.
Brennan: You see that Ayda puts—
Fig: Kristen gets my reference.
Brennan: Ayda puts a hand on her hip and says,
Ayda: Yes, Fig is more attractive than you!
Fig: Yeah!
Lou: Damn.
Fig: What up?
Brennan: You see Ayda way too loud goes,
Ayda: Got 'em!
Fig: (laughs) Yeah you did.
Brennan: She looks at you and says,
Ayda: I've heard that before. That's something you say after you've burnt someone.
Fig: Well, you did burn. I'm rubbing off on you. Actually we're both pretty fiery. Yeah, we're both living up to our names.
Brennan: You see Kalina, Riz, you stand up with one hit point. Kalina looks immediately nauseous as she and Fig are both in the line of your tie camera.
Zac: Oh, your tie.
Brennan: Yeah, and you see that the displacement effect on her ends. A lot of her magic just straight up stops as you do that. However, she is down but not out. Kalina is going to make six attacks. Kalina is no fucking joke. You guys are here in the heart of the Nightmare King's Forest. It's time to fucking go. You see, hold on one second here. A lot of her cool shit is gone now.
Zac: Six attacks is not cool shit.
Brennan: Six attacks is not as cool as shit, but you do see that you're hearing pings on Gorgug's phone like people... I mean, you're live streaming a battle against, like, a resurrected nightmare deity.
Murph: Yeah.
Brennan: People are gonna log on. People are into it.
Zac: I'd click that.
Brennan: I'd click that. You see, she's gonna take her attacks now. She's going to attack you. First attack, and it's gonna happen in order 'cause of different shit she can do. On a 19 she connects with Riz, you've only got one.
Emily: Cutting Words.
Brennan: Go ahead and roll your Cutting Words.
Murph: Come on!
Emily: Minus 4.
Brennan: She still connects. She connects with Riz. Riz, I'm gonna need you to make a DC 15 strength saving throw.
Murph: 4!
Emily: You do have a Bardic Inspiration that you never used. I know it won't do anything, but...
Murph: I got a 4, yeah.
Brennan: Kalina--
Murph: And I'm down.
Brennan: Kalina kicks Riz off of the stairs. Riz goes 15 feet out over the side of the staircase. The beginning of his turn he will fall. Kalina kicks, she's gonna turn the rest of her attacks to Fig and Ayda. As she does so. Ayda's gonna use her reaction to cast Shield which means that that attack misses. Three of six hits, 11 damage to Ayda. That's a critical hit.
Lou: Oh, God.
Emily: On me?
Brennan: No, Ayda.
Emily: No!
Ally: Oh.
Emily: What happens though? I would think that, okay, so wouldn't a pit fiend and their succubus be connected so I can Hellish Rebuke when someone attacks my succubus?
Brennan: Kalina uses six of her attacks, Ayda drops. You see that Kalina goes,
Kalina: Night, girlfriend.
Brennan: Crack, and moves across Ayda's jaw. She collapses to the ground. You see--
Emily: She didn't use six of her attacks, she used five 'cause she used one on Riz.
Brennan: Yeah, she used five on Ayda and one on Riz, you see immediately following that.
Zac: See if anyone, God damn it, yeah.
Brennan: And she is going to make one final attack against you, Fig. That is actually a spell attack.
Emily: A spell attack? I can't Counterspell, I'm out of third level.
Brennan: And she misses, she goes—
Emily: (groans) I want her to hit me.
Brennan: She goes to like claw through your neck and The Infaethable Bass comes up in front of her hand. That is—
Emily: Can I throw my body on top of Ayda?
Brennan: Yes you can.
Fig: No one else, everyone stay away.
Brennan: You throw your body on top of Ayda. Sandra Lynn walks up and draws her bow fully back and goes,
Sandra Lynn: Fig, stand up.
Brennan: And hits you for 13 points of damage.
Emily: I'm still standing.
Brennan: Whew.
Fig: I'm doing fine down here, Mom.
Brennan: That is gonna be Fabian's turn.
Lou: I look to Gorgug and say,
Fabian: You've got this!
Gorgug: Sure!
Lou: And I would like to, can I if I ride Hangman catch Riz?
Brennan: If you ride The Hangman can you catch Riz? The Hangman can get you part of the way up. It's going to be, how do you intend to try and get him?
Lou: I mean, he's falling out of the air, right?
Brennan: Yes, absolutely.
Lou: Can I ride The Hangman as far as I can up and then I'll Action Surge the rest of the way to catch him and prevent him from taking falling damage.
Zac: If you don't wanna do that I can maybe do something.
Lou: Okay.
Zac: If it feels like you're gonna fall off or something.
Lou: Well, he's--
Ally: Yeah, I also have fly right now.
Lou: Okay, can other people get him?
Zac: Possibly.
Emily: Arrows are piercing damage, right?
Siobhan: Yeah.
Emily: Okay.
Brennan: Okay, the—
Zac: I don't know if I can get him this turn.
Lou: Well see, it's like, when you take falling damage he'll automatically fail at least once, right?
Zac: You're down, down, right, Riz?
Murph: I'm at zero, I'm not dead, but I'm...
Emily: Yeah, but he will have to do saving throws.
Murph: I have a flying thing so I think if I'm conscious if somebody can heal me even if I'm falling off a cliff I'm fine.
Siobhan: It would be nice for you to be in the fight, though.
Murph: Yeah, well I have a grappling thing. I can get myself back if somebody can heal me from afar.
Ally: Cool.
Emily: I can, but I don't go till after your turn.
Ally: I can, yeah, I can. I can, yeah.
Murph: If somebody can grab me that's great 'cause then I don't have to use a non-damage healing thing to get back, but if that's the option that's the option.
Brennan: Fabian, The Hangman runs, the Treant gets a reaction, clobbers The Hangman for 15 points of damage. Hangman is barely hanging on anymore, no pun intended, but you are within, Riz is 40 feet away from you. Up the steps, but 40 feet away.
Lou: Yeah, I'm gonna, and that's with my taking a dash action.
Brennan: No, The Hangman gets you to within 40 feet and then you have all of your movement and stuff left.
Murph: Sweet.
Lou: Okay, yeah, I'll take a dash action to be under and ready to catch Riz should he need it.
Brennan: So he's falling, he's almost at the upper ledge. He's got like 100-foot fall. Are you gonna be underneath him and also falling?
Lou: Whoa, he's--
Murph: Or can you like grab me before I fall?
Lou: Yes.
Brennan: Kalina kicked you, you're like hanging in midair over the bottomless drop.
Siobhan: Can you use your sheet?
Lou: Oh, so he's like, so he's fallen, oh. Can I cast Feather Fall on The Ball?
Brennan: Can you cast Feather Fall on him?
Murph: I have Feather Fall essentially.
Lou: Okay. Oh, so he's been kicked off of a ledge not above me but even further away from me, got it.
Brennan: You're on this long staircase going up. He was up at the top of the steps and got kicked off so for you to be under in you'd have to be off the staircase.
Lou: Jump off, okay. Well then I had pictured something slightly different in my head. So unless I can literally throw my sheet to try and like grab him in some way I may not be the guy for the job.
Brennan: If you, your sheet, [makes a considering noise] if you did a crazy Acrobatics check I would let you try to grab him with the sheet.
Lou: I have advantage and plus 13. I'll do whatever crazy Acrobatics shit you would ask of me.
Brennan: This is gonna be a DC 25 acrobatics. First of all five, 10, 15, so… 15 movement. Are you gonna use a bonus? So your speed only gets you 15 feet up the steps. So you're 25 feet away from Riz having used your movement. How much more movement are you using to get up?
Lou: I'll use an Action Surge to get within range.
Brennan: Hell yeah, you Action Surge. You have one action left, you are within range. This is a DC 25 acrobatics check.
Lou: Great, here we go now, all right, first one 25?
Brennan: DC 25.
Lou: My guy, first roll is a 29!
Group cheers.
Siobhan: Roll to see if you crit.
Zac: Yes, yes!
Lou: I'll roll to see if I crit, why not? That's not a crit, that's not a crit at all.
Siobhan: It worked the first time.
Brennan: Fabian. You leap from The Hangman. You see he says,
Hangman: Sire, go and save your Ball! I don't know why you like him, but he matters to you it seems!
Fabian: Me neither, there's just something endearing about him.
Brennan: You rush up, you slide up the banister, lean off the side. Literally just the tips of your fingers you whip the elven battle sheet and you can tell it's not gonna be enough to get Riz. You concentrate, fire roils through the sheet and the flaming elemental that disappeared in the sheet reaches the last bit of distance, grabs Riz, plants a kiss on his cheek, folds him in the blanket and you pull with all your might and snap him back to the stairs in front of you.
Zac: And he flies off the other side.
[group laughing]
Siobhan: Yo-yo, full yo-yo.
Brennan: Incredible.
Zac: Full yo-yo?
Brennan: Fabian, that's your action, movement, and Action Surge unless you have a bonus action.
Lou: I don't have a bonus action. I think that's true, I don't, yes.
Murph: Do you have spells as a bard, do you have?
Lou: I have spells—
Emily: You can give Bardic Inspiration. I think Riz already has some bardic inspiration.
Murph: Do you have Healing Word?
Lou: I do not have Healing Word. Yeah, I do not, I apologize.
Murph: Could you swaddle me really quick?
Lou: Can I swaddle The Ball? Fully wrapped in like, fully in like a, like entirely in sheet in my arms?
Siobhan: Oh, pretty baby.
Brennan: Incredible, you guys see at the end of Fabian's turn as Gorthalax closes with the Nightmare King. The Nightmare King (gasps) (mimics explosion) just shudders the very air and earth around it. And you see Gorthalax takes a tremendous amount of necrotic damage.
Zac: Necrotic...
Emily: Is he still standing?
Brennan: He's still standing. He took 42 points of damage.
Emily: Okay, then that's a beautiful thing. That's resilience.
Brennan: Adaine.
Siobhan: Yes.
Brennan: The unicorn lowers its head and charges at you. I am going to need, first of all it's going to make an attack. That is a hit.
Siobhan: Shield. I have to roll a Constitution roll to do a spell, right?
Brennan: Yes, roll a Constitution save, DC is 17.
Siobhan: I don't make it.
Brennan: The spell falters. You do not have disadvantage on this next save, but I'm going to need another Constitution save from you.
Siobhan: 10.
Brennan: The unicorn lowers its head, charges, and Adaine, you look up and see, (mimics blow landing) you feel its horn puncture the wall of the cottage behind you, you are dead. Straight through your chest, the unicorn has fully killed you.
Murph: Jesus.
Brennan: Riz Gukgak, I'm gonna need a death saving throw from you.
Murph: That's a 12.
Brennan: That's a success. Figueroth Faeth, you are up.
Emily: Okay.
Brennan: Sandra Lynn and Kalina are both over you.
Emily: Okay, I don't care about them.
Fig: Kristen, do you have any Revivify?
Kristen: Yeah, I have the spot for it, I just need the..
Fig: The component, okay.
Kristen: Yeah.
Emily: So I am gonna bonus action second level Healing Word Ayda.
Brennan: Okay.
Emily: So she gets, [drops her dice] oops. She gets 13 hit points and then I'm going to cantrip Prestidigitation, try to make another diamond.
Brennan: Give me that same Performance check. What did we say the DC was last time, was it 25?
Emily: I think it was 25.
Brennan: 25, yeah, go for it.
Emily: Wait, let me do the math—
Siobhan: Don't you have advantage on Performance when you're somebody else?
Emily: I have an advantage on Deception and Performance.
Brennan: Deception, not Performance.
Emily: Yeah, advantage on Deception and Performance.
Ally: Nice.
Emily: I think that's gonna make it. That's gonna be a 25 exactly.
Ally: Yay!
Brennan: Ooh, baby, you (exhales rapidly) Ayda comes to. You, create this gem, bam, gem is—
Emily: Can I put it on the skateboard and send it down to Kristen?
Brennan: Kristen, you grab it.
Kristen: Whoa.
Siobhan: Right in the ankles.
Brennan: You see--
Emily: 'Cause I wanna stay here over Ayda and get in the way of other people attacking.
Brennan: Aelwyn looks horrified as Adaine is gone. You see she… Aelwyn reaches out a hand to the unicorn as it lowers its head and you see this scintillating fractal of images surrounds her, pure Abjurative magic. (mimics small explosions resounding) She says,
Aelwyn: [screaming] Get out of this world! (mimics explosion)
Brennan: And the unicorn is gone, banished. [snaps] The unicorn is fully fucking banished. She is full weeping and collapses to the ground next to Adaine, holding her in her arms as Ragh raises his glaive over his head to try and kill Aelwyn. That is going to be, and Ragh's turn is next, fuck. Ragh is gonna go now. Ragh rolled a 2 and a 7.
Emily: (laughs) Nice.
Brennan: Aelwyn casts Shield. He does not hit either time. And that's gonna be Tracker.
Zac: Oh yeah, Tracker, oh God.
Brennan: Tracker grabs Ragh in a headlock. Goes,
Tracker: Ragh, Ragh, this is not you, it's not you!
Brennan: And Ragh collapses to his knees weeping (gasping) as the possession fades from Ragh. Ragh is back in the game.
Ally: Yes!
Zac: Change of spell, oh cool.
Brennan: Tracker dispels on Ragh.
Emily: Yeah.
Ally: Hell yeah.
Brennan: Kristen, that is your turn.
Ally: Okay, I'm not quite sure where I am in relation to everyone so feel free to edit this as you need to, but I'm gonna run and I am going to Mass Healing Word to Riz, Ayda, Adaine, who else needs it?
Siobhan: I'm dead so...
Emily: I think Adaine is fully dead.
Siobhan: Give it to somebody else, I'm not knocked down, I'm dead.
Murph: Fig is close to dead too, right.
Emily: Yeah, I am close to dead. You do have though, I sent you that diamond to Revivify Adaine as well.
Ally: Oh, yeah.
Emily: But you know, who knows what the right—
Zac: How many spell slots do you have of that level?
Ally: I still have spell slots, yeah.
Zac: Okay.
Ally: I still totally do.
Brennan: So looking at, sorry, looking at Steps of the Brave. Cool, so you're gonna try to get as far up the steps as you can basically, right? Or yeah, so you're taking off. As you do so and your full movement, bonus action to fly, full movement, ribbon dancing up the steps, beautiful. What's the range on Mass Healing Word?
Ally: Oh.
Brennan: What are you casting?
Emily: 60 feet probably.
Ally: Yeah, that's what I'm trying to, it is 60 feet, yeah.
Brennan: 60 feet?
Ally: Yeah.
Brennan: You can hit, Adaine is just out of your reach but she's fully dead. Everyone else is within your reach.
Emily: Awesome.
Brennan: Riz, Fabian, Aelwyn, Tracker all of them, everybody.
Ally: Okay, great. And then I'm going to cast Spirit Guardians.
Brennan: Can't cast two spells. So if you do Mass Healing Word, the other one's gotta be a cantrip. But--
Ally: Okay, then I'll cast, I've been wanting to cast this, Toll pf the Dead on, who's left?
Murph: Are you not gonna heal us?
Ally: Kristen's doing Mass Healing Word as a bonus action spell and then as a cantrip.
Murph: Cool.
Brennan: I will say, you also, how many uses of Channel Divinity do you have, I forget.
Emily: You probably have two.
Zac: It says it on your D&D Beyond.
Brennan: You have two, you also have that thing Twilight Sanctuary which is also very good.
Ally: Oh, great, yeah, yeah. I also would love to use that, okay, cool. Let's do, I'm not close enough to really cast Twilight Sanctuary on Adaine.
Emily: But you have a move with it.
Brennan: It moves with you and it's not concentration so it just stays there.
Ally: Done, baby, Twilight Sanctuary and Mass Healing Word, can I do that?
Brennan: You can do them both 'cause one's not a spell, absolutely.
Ally: Done, all right, everybody who got that gets 13 hit points from mass healing.
Zac: Who gets it?
Emily: Ooh, thank you!
Zac: I'm generally okay if you want to give it to everyone else.
Ally: Okay, cool.
Zac: If you have it I would take it.
Emily: I think Kristen can hit everyone. Oh wait, oh, it's only six people.
Brennan: Six people, so who's—
Zac: Our NPCs I think.
Brennan: Fig is getting it.
Emily: Yeah, I think me and Ayda could use it.
Brennan: And then how much is that, Kristen, sorry again.
Ally: 13.
Brennan: 13, what are you at Fig?
Emily: Now I'm at 23 and Ayda should be at least more than that.
Brennan: She's at 26.
Emily: Yeah.
Brennan: And Riz is now back up at 13. Fabian's pretty close to good. So that's one, two, three. Between Aelwyn, Tracker, The Hangman, or Gorgug who are the other three you're gonna pick?
Ally: Probably The Hangman.
Brennan: Cool, yeah, he's hurting.
Ally: Bring him back up, yeah.
Brennan: So he's at 20 now. Tracker's at full and Ragh is at full. Aelwyn is not at full.
Ally: Okay, well let's hit Gorgug and Aelwyn.
Brennan: Cool, and Gorgug you get another 13, baby.
Zac: Great.
Brennan: God, Mass Healing Word is very good.
Siobhan: Really good.
Lou: Very good.
Brennan: Okay, different rounds have made big, big fucking differences in terms of the swings between you guys being on death's door and you guys coming back up. This Healing Word brings everybody back up in one fell swoop. Kristen continues to fly up. And the aura of the Twilight Sanctuary is so big that actually already Riz and Fabian are within the aura—
Zac: What does that do?
Siobhan: What does it do?
Ally: When you end your turn there you either take a d8 of temporary hit points or you can lose a charmed or frightened condition.
Lou: Oh, sick.
Siobhan: Great.
Brennan: Incredible. That is now going to be, that's Ayda, baby. Ayda looks straight at Sandra Lynn. And on a natural 17 blasts the curse right off of her.
Emily: Ooh!
Zac: Oh, yes.
Emily: Thanks.
Brennan: Sandra Lynn, weeping, collapses, horrified and looks at her—
Fig: Hey, we're cool Mom, we're cool. There was banter but we're cool.
Sandra Lynn only sobs.
Brennan: That is now going to be, that's Ayda's turn. After Ayda that is Gorgug, that's you, baby. You're still down there with the centaur and the treant.
Zac: Ugh, it sucks down here.
Emily: Were you near Kristen? 'Cause you could maybe try and take my skateboard back up.
Zac: Can I get the skateboard? Has the skateboard rolled down past?
Emily: Yeah, I sent the skateboard down with the diamond.
Brennan: I'll let Gorgug grab the skateboard on the way down.
Ally: Yeah!
Zac: Look, should I just leave these guys? I feel like it's just almost a waste of—
Emily: I think you're fine to do that.
Murph: I feel like we need to start getting rid of these big things like the tree and stuff to hurt the Nightmare King.
Siobhan: Yeah.
Murph: 'Cause we're just getting absolutely owned.
Zac: Okay, I'm gonna take bonus action dash with that skateboard, right.
Brennan: Okay.
Emily: Bring it back to momma.
Zac: My movement's 40 so bonus action--
Brennan: Are you...
Zac: I'm taking an opportunity attack.
Brennan: Cool, yep, yep.
Emily: Wouldn't dash mean that they don't get an opportunity attack?
Brennan: That's disengage.
Zac: Disengage.
Emily: Sorry, I think you can. I think the skateboard, oh, nevermind, ignore me.
Brennan: The centaur leaves you with 12 halved to 6. The treant is gonna give you… [rolling damage]
Zac: You rolled a lot.
Brennan: 11 plus 6, 17 halved to 8, so 6 and then 8 damage to Gorgug.
Zac: Okay.
Brennan: And so you can move, dash, and bonus dash with 40.
Zac: Can I get to Kalina and attack in one turn?
Brennan: No, you're way down here. So your speed is 40 so that's movement, 20, and then five, 10, 15, 20. With a dash and with a movement and bonus dash you're still a little ways away. You could cast Jump to remove difficult terrain.
Zac: Yeah, I think I'm gonna Jump.
Murph: Nice.
Brennan: Cool, so you--
Zac: And that's my last spell shot, guys.
Brennan: You removed difficult terrain which means that you can move 100, and so with movement and bonus action dash that is 80.
Zac: On a skateboard?
Brennan: Yes.
Siobhan: Bouncing up on a skateboard.
Lou: Sick ollies dude, incredible ollies.
Zac: Yeah, I mean, how far can I, can I get past Kalina then?
Brennan: No, you are way the fuck down, but you are 20 feet up so you have an action left. You are right now about 20 feet away so you could keep going up under this Jump spell if you wanted to, but in other words all the way to Kalina. You'll have to use your action to dash if you want to get up in the mix.
Zac: I'm 20 feet away from her, right?
Brennan: Yes, you are.
Zac: And I have an action left on top of Jump?
Brennan: On top of Jump, yes.
Zac: Okay.
Brennan: Oh no, Jump is your action. Sorry, yeah, you're done.
Zac: I think so, yeah, yeah.
Brennan: And at the end of your turn go ahead and give yourself 1d8 temp HP, go for it.
Zac: Great, where's a d8? Oh, 8.
Brennan: Woo, baby.
Siobhan: Nice.
Brennan: Hell yeah, got that temp HP. Okay, that is Gorgug's turn. That is gonna be the Nightmare King.
Ally: Okay.
Brennan: The Nightmare King casts Finger of Death on Gorthalax. [quietly counts damage] Gorthalax is still standing.
Emily: Oh.
Brennan: Just taking the damn hits.
Emily: Yes!
Brennan: Gorthalax, yeah, boom, just takes this huge wallop from the Nightmare King. You see he coughs up a bunch of fiery blood. He says,
Gorthalax: [wiping blood] Don't worry about me, kiddo. Worry about the curses, I got this!
Fig: Pops, I'm worried about how to live up to what you're doing, that's the only thing I'm worrying about.
Brennan: Hell yeah. This thing is gonna...
Zac: Adaine's still dead, right?
Siobhan: I'm super dead.
Lou: Oh, dead.
Emily: I don't have any Revivify, but there is a diamond in the mix.
Ally: I got it.
Lou: We got a diamond in the mix.
Emily: I can also make another diamond on my turn, but I feel like maybe I'll try and do some damage to the tree.
Ally: Great.
Siobhan: Yeah, it's so susceptible to fire damage.
Murph: We gotta get Gorgug to that tree, too.
Zac: Yeah, I'm going straight to the tree.
Emily: Yeah.
Siobhan: We need to get Sandra Lynn and Ragh tinctured as well.
Zac: Sandra Lynn's good now.
Siobhan: No, she's, no, no, they still see Kalina.
Lou: They're unpossessed.
Siobhan: They're unpossessed, but they still see Kalina.
Lou: So they'll stop attacking us for now.
Zac: What if we just kill Kalina?
Emily: Yeah.
Siobhan: Or we just kill Kalina. But she might be less powerful if fewer people can see her, I'm dead.
Brennan: You guys, Arianwen throws a—
Lou: Jesus.
Brennan: Fog of poisonous smoke on top of Tracker, Aelwyn, and Ragh, and Adaine's dead body.
Siobhan: Jesus.
Murph: Jesus.
Brennan: Oh, sorry, scratch that, nix, sorry, cancel that. She's not gonna cancel her flying spell which is concentration so she's gotta figure out something else, baby. Ooh, Arianwen, you took too many concentration spells. You gotta plan better.
Ally: Does she wanna borrow my teddy bear?
Lou: There you go.
Zac: Yeah, give the bad guy our teddy. (laughs)
Emily: Yeah. She can have my skateboard, too while we're at it.
Siobhan: Yeah, just take that slap bracelet off my wrist.
Lou: Would she like a pair of Sneakers of Dunking 'cause I think they'd look great on her.
Ally: We just gear her out.
Zac: Take these headphones.
Emily: Arianwen's a bad guy.
Lou: Hey, what's up, Arianwen? We feel like you're kinda lacking.
Siobhan: Makeover.
Emily: Makeover.
Brennan: You see that Arianwen casts Ice Storm on her living daughter and the people close to her.
Lou: Oh.
Zac: Christ.
Brennan: None of them go down, they all rolled very high on their saves but they are each hurting. And that is going to be, that's Arianwen. That's Gorthalax, baby.
Lou: My man taking the hits.
Siobhan: Fuck him up, dude, fuck him up dude.
Lou: Taking the hits.
Emily: Fuck 'em up.
Siobhan: Fuck 'em up.
Brennan: Ooh, baby.
Lou: Fuck 'em up.
Siobhan: No kings, no masters.
Brennan: He lays into the Nightmare King. Whoosh, whip on the arm, slashes across the chest. The Nightmare King screams out in pain. And you see this dumbass treant starts to waddle up the steps, slow as hell.
Lou: Fucking idiot, you idiot.
Murph: This tree dude sucks.
Siobhan: Fucking.
Emily: Fuck the tree.
Zac: Tree meets some stairs.
Brennan: That is going to be, that's back at Kalina now. But Riz is back with the tie still going. She is looking hurt right now. She's gonna make some attacks. She's gonna go for Riz.
Murph: Fuck.
Emily: Isn't Riz like down? Wouldn't she have to move pretty far?
Murph: Doesn't she have to move past, she would take opportunity attacks from Ayda, Fig...
Emily: Yeah.
Brennan: Oh, you're right, she would--
Emily: Yeah, and also potentially my mom.
Murph: Yeah, 'cause I got thrown like 20 feet or something.
Emily: Yeah.
Brennan: 10...
Lou: If she does make it to Riz, I'll impose disadvantage on one of X many attacks.
Siobhan: Battlemaster is very cool.
Emily: Yeah.
Lou: What's up guys, this is the new me. I take care of my friends.
Brennan: Kalina drops Sandra Lynn.
Murph: Fuck.
Brennan: And then you see, being fucked up by the camera, she casts Invisibility on herself and vanishes. Fig and Ayda may both take melee attacks with disadvantage as she moves away from you.
Emily: Okay.
Ally: Hey.
Emily: Huh.
Zac: Did you say something?
Brennan: Oh sorry, Fig, you can take an opportunity attack with disadvantage, Kalina went invisible and ran away from you.
Emily: Okay, yeah, okay. There's nothing I can add to it. I just have to do a straight up. Does a 15 hit?
Brennan: It does not.
Emily: Okay, then I miss.
Brennan: Sandra Lynn is at zero dying, Fabian, that's you.
Lou: Okay, can I make a Perception check for any sort, like if I wanted to cast Faerie Fire on where I think Kalina might be—
Ally: You have a 20-foot cube.
Lou: Yeah, can I throw a 20, like can I make a Perception check to narrow the range of where I think—
Brennan: Give me a Perception check.
Lou: That's gonna be a 24.
Ally: Yes.
Brennan: You see Arianwen looking towards the tree.
Lou: The tree?
Brennan: Yeah, the tree up on the ledge which could be where Kalina ran to.
Lou: Great, I'll hop on. (snaps fingers)
Brennan: Hangman's still, hold on. Five, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35, 40. Okay, yeah, the Hangman can get you to like the edge of the ledge and now you have your full movement left, you're past the stairs.
Murph: Do you mind bringing me 'cause I'm slow.
Lou: Of course, I take my swaddled Riz, unwrap him and we charge off, yeah. Can I cast, I will cast Faerie Fire to try and light her up.
Brennan: Motes of sparks radiate out from your battle sheet. They land covering Kalina's true form and outlining it. Her Invisibility vanishes because Riz points in the direction of your Faerie Fire and you once again watch as all these mirror images begin to get sucked into her as you hear the notifications coming in on Gorgug's phone. Fabian, that is your action. You have movement and bonus action left.
Lou: I think, can I, did the Hangman need to dash to get us there?
Brennan: Did Hangman need to, yes, Hangman needed to dash to get you there.
Lou: Okay, I can't attack so I think I'll just hop off The Hangman and just move, like create space between Riz, Hangman, and myself.
Brennan: Okay. Do you wanna move towards the gaggle of people near the cottage, do you want to move closer to the edge where Kalina and Arianwen are? Where do you want to move to?
Lou: Yeah, I'll move closer to the edge.
Brennan: Cool.
Lou: It's dangerous, but why not?
Brennan: Cool. The Nightmare King one again summons a burst of necrotic energy, Gorthalax is starting to look hurt. Fabian, do you step forward to be within five feet of Kalina or no?
Lou: Oh no, she can come to me.
[Emily snickers]
Brennan: Okay, gotcha. But you step forward, that's Fabian's turn. Oh, I have to roll concentration for Aelwyn or the unicorn comes back. Aelwyn succeeds on her concentration check. Riz, that's you, baby. Kalina is standing right in front of you.
Murph: Sweet, do I get the sense that she would in addition to, I think I have a way to hurt her and possibly display her image in other ways. Do I think that would hurt her more?
Brennan: Yes, you do.
Murph: Sweet. I don't know if that piece of mirror that I had before broke or not but I assume I have some kind of spy kit mirror. I know at one point I used it to look around a corner.
Brennan: Yes, you do.
Murph: Dope, so I would like to be streaming the fight. I would like to object interaction, take the mirror, take like a little hand mirror and toss it at her and go to shoot through it at her to like hit her and create like a shatter of reflections of her refracting.
Emily cheers and claps
Brennan: Oh my fucking God.
Ally: Hell yeah.
Emily: Yeah!
Brennan: Incredible.
Siobhan: So cool.
Emily: Yeah!
Brennan: Take a free Sleight of Hand. No action required, if you beat 20 I'll give you advantage on the attack roll.
Emily: If someone dies do they still keep their Bardic Inspiration, 'cause I gave Riz Bardic Inspiration that he's never used.
Brennan: You still have Bardic Inspiration, yes.
Murph: That is a 21.
Brennan: Yeah, baby.
Emily: Yes!
Brennan: You toss the mirror, take your dad's gun out, go for it. Roll with advantage, baby.
Murph: Oh, yes.
Lou: Roll with advantage, baby.
Murph: That is a 29. [grins]
Group cheers.
Brennan: Oh my fucking God.
Lou: On the mirror?
Murph: Like through the mirror to hit her, but also to break the mirror.
Lou: Sick.
Emily: So there's many of her.
Murph: It's like shooting somebody through glass or something.
Emily: This is beautiful stuff.
Siobhan: This is the coolest thing I've ever heard.
Emily: I know!
Lou: Honestly this is a new Ball. Fabian has not seen this grappling hook Ball.
Emily: This is a new Ball.
Siobhan: Cap is gone. We never wanna see that cap again.
Riz: Has anyone seen my hat?
Emily: Reborn.
Riz: It fell off.
Murph: So Murph, just to let you know.
Emily: Hot Riz was born.
Brennan: Kalina is under the effects of a Mirror Image spell. I am gonna let you fully bypass that because of how fucking dope this mirror shit is. Go ahead and roll damage, baby.
Emily: Mirrors negate mirrors.
Zac: They always say that.
Emily: They always say that.
Zac: They always say that.
Siobhan: They do, classic.
Zac: Literature.
Siobhan: Yeah. I think Oscar Wilde said that. It was Oscar Wilde's quote.
Emily: Yeah, uh-huh.
Murph: 21 damage.
Brennan: 21 damage, you see that that hurts Kalina, she is, hold on one second, you said 21 damage?
Murph: Yes.
Brennan: Jesus, Kalina counts on not getting hit. You can see she can't take hits that many times like that. She (screeches) hisses and you watch (mimics wind howling) more images come back to her as again, you can tell the strain of all the magic she's trying to do, she has a ton of passive abilities that are not happening right now because you're streaming her.
Murph: Sweet.
Brennan: That is Riz's turn baby, any bonus actions?
Murph: Yes, I'm gonna hide. (laughs)
Brennan: Hell yeah, go ahead, go for it.
Emily: Can you hide with your tie still on her, though?
Murph: Can I, Brennan?
Brennan: Yes you can, absolutely.
Murph: Sweet.
Emily: Cool.
Zac: He's like a paparazzi.
Murph: That's only 19.
Siobhan: Papa-Riz-zi.
Brennan: Okay.
Zac: Papa-Riz-zi.
Lou: Papa-Riz-zi.
Emily: That's what it's called when you throw a mirror at someone and shoot them, you're a papa-Riz-zi.
Brennan: Fig, that is gonna be you.
Emily: Okay, so if I wanna step into the video so that there's yet another Kalina in there, and I'm wondering if I can angle Burning Hands so I hit the tree at, what's your mom's name?
Siobhan: Arianwen.
Brennan: Arianwen.
Emily: Arianwen and Kalina. It's a 15-foot cone.
Brennan: You literally can just make it there, yes.
Ally: Yes!
Emily: [cackles] Okay, so I am gonna do that. It's not that much damage, but I rolled really fucking well. So everyone takes 17 fire damage which means for the tree it's 34.
Zac: Oh, yes.
Brennan: Are you fucking serious?
Emily: There is yet another Kalina in the frame.
Brennan: Oh my God, the tree is starting to look hurt. You see it's catching fire right now.
Emily: Oh, they can do a Dexterity save but I'm guessing they can't.
Brennan: Normally—
Lou: How'd that tree do on that Dexterity saving throw? Please tell me.
Siobhan: Yeah, just at that tree.
Brennan: Oh my God, Kalina rolls a natural two. Normally she would have full evasion, but under the light of that camera, baby, she is fucked up, she takes the full, what is that 34 points of damage,
Emily: Oh sorry, 34 for the tree. It's only a first level burning hand so it's—
Brennan: Gotcha.
Emily: But I rolled 6, 6, and a 5 so it's 17 damage for Arianwen and Kalina.
Brennan: Copy that.
Ally: Hell yeah.
Brennan: Oh sorry, Arianwen's out of there. She's many feet up in the air, she's flying.
Emily: Okay, that's fine, Kalina and the tree, I'll do that. Kalina and the tree.
Brennan: Hold on one second.
Siobhan: Our nemeses.
Emily: A wholesome book.
Brennan: Eight, it was that minus, and then you did 17 you said or how much?
Emily: I did 17. So then I just doubled it to 34 for the tree.
Brennan: Gotcha, perfect. Kalina looks hurt by that. Incredible guys. That is Fig's turn. Aelwyn. Sorry, hold on one second.
Zac: I just gotta get to that tree.
Brennan: Gotta get to that tree. Aelwyn's gonna straight up just fucking toss another Cone of Cold at her fucking mom.
All: Yeah.
Emily: She's just gotta.
Lou: Can't complain about that. You just gotta.
Zac: Not going to.
Brennan: And her mom's gonna roll to try and Counterspell it. And does, sadly, blasts the spell out as Aelwyn hits her. Aelwyn shouts out to Tracker like,
Aelwyn: [desperately] My sister's, please do something!
Brennan: Ragh turns around fucking exhausted, but he goes,
Ragh: (pants) Okay, hoot, growl, hoot, growl!
Brennan: And starts to sprint at where Kalina is. He closes distance but is not able to attack. Next after him is Tracker. Tracker, (humming) is going to, she is going to actually cast Beacon of Hope. Everyone has advantage on Wisdom saving throws and death saving throws, you regain max hit points from healing within 30 feet of Tracker.
Siobhan: Oh, great.
Brennan: So that's aura of hope. And she is going to move across the ledge to spread out across more people. That is now gonna go, that's Kristen Applebees, baby!
Ally: Great, how can I close the distance between me and Kalina and be like 60 feet away from her?
Siobhan: Oh my God, please bring me back to life.
Ally: And Arianwen.
Emily: Yeah.
Brennan: Oh, Adaine is far away from where Kalina is right now so you can either close with Adaine or close with Kalina.
Ally: Okay, I'm gonna close with Kalina, but I will go back for Adaine 'cause also Tracker could help her.
Brennan: Tracker does not have Revivify.
Ally: Oh, okay, then yeah, nevermind, I'll go to Adaine and cast Revivify.
Siobhan: Thank you.
Brennan: Cool, you have that gem that Fig created. (mimics cracking) It crushes.
Ally: Cool.
Brennan: You're once again out of gems.
Ally: Can I do Perception and see if Banishment would work on Kalina?
Brennan: Potentially, yes.
Emily: I think we have to destroy her though to break the curse.
Murph: She's pretty hurt right now I think.
Siobhan: Brennan, is Power Word Pain now gone from me since I died?
Brennan: Is Power Word Pain, yeah, I will say you died. Power Word Pain is over.
Siobhan: Great. How about, it was like a short rest. Like I took a nice little nap in Heaven.
Ally: Six, nine...
Brennan: Ayda—
Ally: I do a bonus Mass Healing Word. People get 15 points.
Brennan: Can't do two spells in a round, can't do Healing Word and Revivify.
Ally: Oh, right, right, right, okay, cool. Then I do bonus action Step of the Brave.
Brennan: Cool, hell yeah. Ayda flies up behind Fig and she's gonna full fireball the tree.
Emily: Yeah!
Brennan: Actually you know what? Gorgug, you've left already. Ayda's gonna hurl a fireball back down the staircase behind you.
Zac: Okay.
Brennan: To just blow this fucking treant up.
Zac: Can she hit both of 'em? The other guy's made of wood, too, right.
Brennan: Oh yeah, fuck yeah, good point.
Lou: Everybody made of wood.
Ally: One's like old ass wood.
Siobhan: Just dry, it's real dry.
Lou: Damn those old wood motherfuckers.
Siobhan: Yeah.
Brennan: Three times.
Siobhan: Dusty.
Brennan: Okay, that treant is on death's fucking door and… Cool, that is Ayda's turn. Gorgug, that's you baby.
Gorgug: You mind if I keep using this skateboard?
Fig: [giving permission] Yeah!
Zac: How far away am I from the tree?
Brennan: You're a little bit far from the tree still, but the skateboard would let you get there with your action left.
Zac: Hell yeah, getting there with the action left. Okay, listen to this shenanigan. What is the visual picture? The tree's here, the Nightmare King is here, everyone else is over here, does that make sense?
Brennan: Yeah, as you're at the top of the stairs, the cottage to your left, trees to your right, and straight ahead is the end of the cliff and the ocean of mist which the Nightmare King is standing up in.
Zac: How big is this tree?
Brennan: This tree is about like, I don't know, about like 80 feet tall.
Zac: I don't know if this is tall enough, but I wanted to cut the tree down so it fell on the Nightmare King.
[Emily and Ally laugh]
Brennan: It would definitely, 'cause the Nightmare King's only about 15 feet away from the edge towering over you so the tree could collapse touching the Nightmare King.
Zac: Sure, let's do that. I'm gonna take my two attacks that I can which are max damage 'cause it's an object. So they're 45 damage each so that's 90 damage.
Brennan: Jesus. Oh my God.
Emily: Yeah!
Brennan: Cool, this thing only has an AC of 12 so just roll above a 12, on your 2 attacks so just don't roll a nat 1.
Zac: Reckless.
Brennan: Cool.
Zac: Yeah, yeah.
Brennan: Gorgug, you rush up. This thing isn't going anywhere. (roars) Boom, you sever into the base. As you do you look in the shower of gnarled, blood-soaked wood, the tree collapses. Are you aiming it towards the Nightmare King or no?
Zac: I do wanna aim, it, well, yeah, yeah.
Brennan: It collapses, you see the branches collapse into the chest.
Zac: And it lands on him?
Brennan: Yeah, it's like, the Nightmare King is fighting Gorthalax.
Zac: We got a bridge, baby.
Brennan: You've built a bridge, basically, in the shower of woods a sudden barbarian instinct tells you to reach out. You snap your hand out and grab an ancient broomstick buried in the heart of the tree, you are holding the broom.
Zac: Can I just, wait, I'll break it. [mimes snapping something]
Brennan: Awesome.
Zac: The curse.
Emily: You fly. (laughs)
Brennan: That is Gorgug's turn. That is the Nightmare King.
Emily: Did you have time in your turn to break the broomstick?
Zac: Uh, I don’t know— Brennan—
Emily: Oh wait, the curse is broken, right, that's what it means.
Brennan: No, yeah, breaking the broomstick will not necessarily break the curse. You gotta hit it with a Dispel Magic to do that.
Emily: I see.
Brennan: But you have Tracker and Ayda and other people do have slots left. Three times four is 12 so 32.
Lou: What are you doing, Brennan? What's all this math you're doing?
Brennan: The Nightmare King points a finger at Gorthalax and extinguishes the fire within him. He begins to fall into the mist.
Emily groans.
Brennan: He is fully gone. That is going to be, that's on everything's turn. That is now going to be Adaine's turn.
Siobhan: Okay, this is a crazy thing to do in the middle of a battle.
Brennan: Love it. Love where we're at already.
Siobhan: The final trans-substantiation is the name. Fabian has the spell book, right?
Brennan: You've already disenchanted the spellbook. You've already disenchanted the cottage.
Siobhan: But we have the spellbook, it's just disenchanted.
Brennan: That's correct, yes?
Siobhan: Can I Mage Hand the book from Fabian?
Brennan: Yeah, absolutely.
Siobhan: And look in the book and see this final spell that The Unnamed Goddess did to rename herself?
Brennan: Yes, absolutely you can. You mage hand the book, go ahead and give me Arcana.
Siobhan: Great. That is a 26.
Brennan: You mage hand the book. (exhales sharply) Go through it. You are looking through this goddess's spell book. It is impossible divine magic. You see on a page a young woman with her hair in a ponytail holding a curved shepherd's staff in the shape of a question mark. And you see that behind her is a face that half of it is a skull and the other half is the face of a long-haired witch-looking woman. That's Adaine's—
Adaine: Kristen, I think that you can do it, you need to look at this book.
Brennan: Incredible, you mage hand, you've gotten the book. You do your arcana check you boom, find this thing and hold it up, Kristen's right next to you. Kristen you look at this, and we'll get to it on your turn.
Ally: Okay.
Brennan: Arianwen is going to go. She is going to cast another Ice Storm. This time I'm gonna need Dexterity saving throws from Fig, Fabian, Gorgug, and Riz.
Zac: Dex saving throws?
Brennan: I'm gonna need Dex saving throws from Fig, Fabian, Gorgug, and Riz.
Murph: Even though I'm hidden?
Brennan: Even though you're hidden. She doesn't know she's hitting you, but she's hitting you.
Zac: I got a 9.
Lou: 16.
Emily: 23.
Murph: 18.
Emily: You know what? I'm gonna maybe go ahead and give myself disadvantage so that Arianwen would have disadvantage on something I did against her.
Brennan: Go for it.
Emily: Luck point. Okay.
Ally: This is Aelwyn, right?
Brennan: This is Arianwen.
Siobhan: Arianwen.
Ally: Oh, okay.
Emily: Okay, I got 16.
Brennan: The DC was 15. If you succeeded, so 15 was the save. If you got 7... so you either take 14 cold damage or 7 cold damage depending on if you succeeded or failed, and you take 9 or 4 piercing damage if you succeed or fail.
Zac: I would take 4.
Brennan: And that's halved for Gorgug. Yes.
Murph: And I take none because I'm a rogue, Evasion, right?
Brennan: Yes, yes, yes, yes, absolutely.
Murph: Sweet. What was the DC on the check? I got an 18.
Siobhan: Made it.
Murph: Okay, cool.
Ally: 15.
[heroic music turns darker and evil-er]
Brennan: Yes, you made it. You see, badda boom. That's gonna be Kalina, baby. Kalina is going to make her attacks. She steps forward.
Lou: (sighs) Man oh man.
Brennan: Ragh goes down, bam.
Murph: No!
Brennan: And Fig, how much are you at right now, Fig?
Emily: I'm at 12.
Brennan: You take 8 points of damage.
Emily: Okay. I think I'm going to then Hellish Rebuke.
Brennan: Oh hell yeah, awesome.
Emily: So Kalina takes 8 fire damage.
Brennan: Woo, baby.
Lou: Hell yes.
Fig: You hurt me, I hurt you.
Brennan: Okay. It's gonna be Fabian's turn.
Lou: Oh, okay. I guess I'll attack Kalina.
Brennan: Hell yeah. Go for it, roll your attacks.
Lou: First, go ahead.
Brennan: By the way, Sandra Lynn ices the centaur, destroyed.
Siobhan: Great.
Murph: Nice.
Lou: Fuck yeah.
Fig: Welcome to the club, Mom.
Lou: First one is a 28.
Brennan: 28, definitely hits, she doesn't have any of her cool shit that she can do right now.
Lou: Great.
Brennan: But you do have to get past the Mirror Images so—
Lou: If I wanna do like Bardic and like Battlemaster stuff do I have to make those decisions before I know if I'm actually hitting her or after?
[music turns to tense, adventurous battle music again]
Brennan: No, that's on a hit.
Lou: Okay.
Brennan: So I'm gonna need you to roll, go ahead, you must, okay, so she's gotta roll.
Lou: Okay.
Brennan: She fails, you hit the real Kalina even with all of her Mirror Images, do it up, baby.
Lou: So I'll burn a second level spell slot, my last spell slot for 2d6 for Fandrangor. I'll make it another d6 for Defensive Flourish, and then a d8 for a Goading Attack. She needs to make a Wisdom saving throw DC 17.
Brennan: She fails that saving throw.
Lou: Great, if she attacks anyone but me she has disadvantage.
Brennan: [rubbing his hands together] Oh my God.
Emily: Ooh, that's good.
Siobhan: So good.
Lou: And then we'll do, oh, but an awful roll. 1, 2, 9, 11, 11 plus 15 plus 9. 15 plus 9… Uh, 24 for the first attack.
Brennan: Incredible.
Lou: And then I'll roll to hit a second time.
Brennan: Cool.
Lou: That's gonna be a 23 to hit.
Brennan: You destroy one of her duplicate images. (mimics explosion resounding)
Lou: Great.
Brennan: Incredible.
Lou: Oh, and my AC from that first time, my AC is now 23.
Brennan: Awesome, it's also The Hangman's turn.
Lou: The Hangman, can I roll to see if he gets his breath weapon back?
Brennan: Yeah, go ahead and roll for it baby.
Lou: What do I need to roll, 5 or 6? That's a 5, yeah, let's let this Hangman, let this Hangman breathe on this cat.
(group laughing)
Lou: Let this Hangman, let this dog breathe on this cat.
Emily: Dogs beat cats, dogs beat cats.
Lou: Dog beat cat.
Zac: Hangmans are a thing, cats are a thing.
Brennan: The Hangman can get the tree in there too as well.
Siobhan: Is the tree down?
Brennan: The tree's down, I'm wrong.
Siobhan: Can it go like angle up to Arianwen?
Brennan: No, unfortunately not, cool, Hangman comes and--
Fig: I think I got a plan for your mom, Adaine.
Brennan: Go ahead and roll attack, sorry.
Lou: What’s the breath weapon?
Brennan: For The Hangman it's just 6d6.
Lou: Hell yes.
Zac: “Just” 6d6.
Lou: Just sees nothing but 6d6. Just even more trash, 8, 9, 13, 17 points of damage. I'm assuming fire.
Brennan: Yes. Kalina is still up, but she is now looking panicked. Riz, that's you, baby.
Murph: Sweet, I'm going to, I was hidden, I'm going to attack from hiding with my gun. That is a 22 to hit Kalina.
Brennan: We're gonna roll for Mirror Image.
Murph: Did the fire hit Mirror Image?
Brennan: The fire did not, but she just rolled a natural 1. You hit the real Kalina.
[Emily cheers]
Murph: Yeah. Okay, one, two, three, four.
Ally: Yes, Sneak Attack!
Zac: Come on.
Lou: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Siobhan: Yeah, so crunchy, so many dice, jeez.
Murph: Okay, okay, this is better than last time.
Lou: Ooh, yes it is.
Murph: 31.
Lou: Oh, daddy.
Siobhan: Yeah.
Brennan: Riz, you take your gun. Fig, Fabian, you are standing on either side of Kalina. Ragh has just dropped, Fig, you kneecap with the sharp part of The Infaethable Bass. Fabian, you parry her chin up with the point of your blade exposing her whole chest. The images flicker. Riz, Kalina who has been with you your entire life, makes eye contact.
Kalina: Kid, it doesn't have to be this way.
Brennan: Riz.
Riz: Mission accomplished, Dad.
Riz shoots her point-blank.
Group laughs.
Brennan: Oh baby, boom!
Lou: Yes, yes!
Brennan: Kalina flickers and is fucking gone. Defeated Kalina, Jesus.
Zac: Is the spell gone, is the curse gone?
Siobhan: We have to dispel.
Brennan: It doesn't look like the curse is gone, but Fig, that's your turn.
Fig: Okay, Adaine, how would you feel if I potentially killed your mom?
Adaine: I would be honored.
Emily: Okay. I would like to use my final spell, Phantasmal Force, and since it crafts an illusion in her mind, but since illusions are real I would like to make her think her heart has stopped beating. And because I took disadvantage she has disadvantage on the roll and I have one last Bardic Inspiration so I will use Cutting Words if I need to.
Brennan: Okay.
Emily: Would this, 'cause I have other things I could do if like the idea, if the illusion that her heart has stopped beating and that—
Brennan: No, no, I fucking love this, okay.
Emily: Is that real here?
Siobhan: Just in the interest of fairness she is an elf and so has advantage on charm so she'd just be rolling flat.
Brennan: Yes, so she's rolling flat.
Emily: It's not even a Charisma save though.
Siobhan: I just don't want people to get in the comments.
Emily: It's an intelligence save, I don't think this is charming.
Siobhan: It's an enchantment spell. Isn't it an enchantment spell?
Murph: Is that the same as charm?
Brennan: No, wait, unless it applies the charmed condition.
Emily: Yeah, it doesn't say charmed.
Siobhan: Oh, then.
Brennan: Yeah, bingo bango.
Lou: Bingo bango.
Siobhan: Wow, bingo bango baby.
Zac: Bingo Bango.
Emily: It just crafts an illusion.
Brennan: So that's disadvantage. She's gonna roll, real quick though she is, okay, so what level spell is this?
Emily: This is just a second level spell.
Brennan: Well hell yeah, but guess what, Ayda's up here now. So when Arianwen Counterspells it Ayda Counterspells that Counterspell.
(group cheering)
Brennan: She's gonna roll right now. She rolled a natural 18 and a natural 4.
Emily: Okay, then I think we're gonna have to go with the 4.
Brennan: So Phantasmal Force of her heart stopping. I'm going to roll a flat Constitution saving throw for her.
Emily: Okay.
Brennan: Because you are using a spell to be basically like an instant kill effect here. How much damage does Phantasmal Force normally do?
Emily: How much damage would be... each round on your turn it can deal 1d6 psychic damage.
Brennan: Gotcha, okay.
Emily: I mean, if this isn't gonna kill her I can also just make her think she has no magic anymore and that would also be tragic.
Brennan: Oh shit, yeah, I don't think it can kill her.
Murph: That would make her stop flying.
Emily: Okay, in that case I'm just gonna make her think that her magic is done and then she can just plummet and think she has no magic.
Brennan: Arianwen collapses to the ground, takes 12 points of falling damage and begins to weep hysterically. She turns and raises her hands to the Nightmare King and says,
Arianwen: [panting] Monarch of nightmares, I have restored you. Please, answer my call, heed my request. Lay low these who would attempt to stop you!
Brennan: And so that was Fig's turn. Any bonus actions from Fig?
Emily: No, I don't have my skateboard. Yeah, I think that's all I can do. I'm saving my one last Bardic since I didn't use it there.
Brennan: Aelwyn, you see that Aelwyn looks at the Kalina mist, hits it with a Dispel Magic, breaks the third and immediately after Ragh makes a death saving throw. And immediately after him Tracker goes. Tracker yells out to you, Gorgug, and says,
Tracker: Gorgug, hold the broom up!
Brennan: (mimics explosion) The broom breaks. All four lesser trans-substantiations are gone. In the book, Kristen, it is your turn, you see the image. The last trans-substantiation changed the goddess's name into a crown, the last thing you need is currently up above you in the sky atop this giant.
Emily gasps.
Brennan: Make a Religion check for me.
Ally looks up and smiles.
Brennan: Are you kidding, are you kidding me?
Ally turns their camera down to show their die, which has rolled a nat 20.
Brennan: [so loud it peaks his mic] What the fuck? Every season!
The players laugh and cheer. Brennan stares in silent shock, his eyes darting back and forth, his hands up to his face.
Ally: Nat 20! [readjusting their camera to face them, they punch the air]
Murph: So spicy.
Zac: How does this?
Lou: How, how?
Siobhan: Magic!
Murph: So spicy.
Emily: Oh, wow.
Siobhan: Just magic.
Lou: Magic is real, period.
Zac: How does this keep happening?
Murph: Ally is magic, magic is real.
Emily: Ally is magic.
Murph: Extra spicy.
Zac: Ally's magic.
Emily: Magic is real and so is my Ally.
Zac: Saint Kristen Applebees.
Emily: Saint Kristen Applebees.
Brennan: Saint Kristen Applebees. You look around at your friends. You, I, hold on, this is so wild.
Zac: I think you should just start planning for this.
Siobhan: Yeah, maybe you should just cry now. Just cry now, Brennan, ‘cause we won.
Lou: Brennan, don't cry. That's too easy, I want it worse. I don't want you to sleep tonight, that's what I want.
Brennan: You, you look out, I actually don't, I don't know what to do.
(group laughing)
Ally: I wish we were all in the same room so we could run around and film you.
Lou: I would be doing laps, I'd be doing laps around the dome right now.
(group members cheering)
Brennan: You look and see this image. Kristen, it's never made sense. What is the Nightmare King? Everything you've studied about Sylvaire has always been about The Unnamed Goddess. It's always been The Unnamed Goddess, her trans-substantiations. She turned her name into a crown. Who is this Nightmare King? Galicaea told you that the Nightmare King killed her sister, but Galicaea lied about a bunch of stuff to you. Where did the Nightmare King come from? What is all of this? You recall being on the prow of The Goldenrod and Kalvaxus saying he never heard the Nightmare King talk and nobody ever heard the Nightmare King speak. And no one ever really knew anything about him. You're looking at this image of the woman whose face is half skull and half this and a picture of what is clearly you standing in front. What is going through Kristen's mind right now?
Ally: Wait, what?
Brennan: What is going through Kristen's mind right now? What are you thinking? You're like, where did the Nightmare King come into this? All we've been hearing about is this Unnamed Goddess, Unnamed Goddess, all these tricks, all these things, all this stuff, we know that they destroyed the goddess and then the Nightmare King rose up, where is it? Like, where—
Zac: Did you say Kristen was in the book?
Ally: Yeah, that's my question, am I in the photo?
Brennan: The young woman that is the saint. So the image is a girl--
Ally: It's me holding my staff.
Brennan: It's you holding your staff in front of a giant crowned face that is half dead skull half a long-haired witch-like woman.
Ally: Are my bones 600 years old for real? I mean, I don't know.
Brennan: Who do you think that, Kristen reckons like, who could the Nightmare King be? Why would there be no story about him? Why would he just have come out of thin air? And Kristen has to ask herself, if the Nightmare King didn't just come out of thin air what could the Nightmare King's origin have been based on the story you already know thus far? Is there something that the Nightmare King could have been before he was the Nightmare King? You see the Nightmare King as tall as a mountain, the lightning of the storm flashes around you. It strikes the Nightmare King's body. And this is not the first time you have seen a skeleton taller than mountains made—
Ally: It's the woman? It's the God?
[the music stops]
Brennan: Kristen, Kristen, you begin to float through the air. You move in the direction of the Nightmare King as the Nightmare King raises their hand aloft to answer Arianwen's call. What I need to know from you now is this. You have never seen anything in your life more terrifying than the monster you now behold. There is an inkling in your mind that what you have just said is true. I am going to write something down on a piece of paper.
Brennan leans off camera to grab a notebook.
Lou: You want us all to close our screens?
Brennan: No.
Lou: So that we can't see it.
Brennan: I don't want you to—
Zac: In the meantime I'm just gonna guess names so John.
Siobhan: Brian.
Zac: Kevin, Lucy.
Siobhan: Martin.
Lou: [rolling his r’s] Ricardo!
Siobhan: Oh.
Zac: Rebecca.
Lou: Pauline.
Siobhan: Daiya.
Lou: Dancy.
Emily: Ooh, Dancy. I also think Dancy.
Zac: Michael Trapp.
Emily: He's gonna write down Dancy.
Ally: How'd it be Dancy?
Emily: Emily Axford I think. My guess is Emily Axford.
Siobhan: Oh my goodness. Betrayer in the party this whole time.
(group laughing)
Lou: I like that on Emily's banner we can just see the snarl.
This refers to Emily’s camera, which has a poster of Fig behind her that only shows a couple of Fig’s bottom pointy teeth.
Emily: I know, I tried to get it in, but...
Siobhan: We have opposite parts of our...
Emily: Yeah, you're in the front of her mouth.
Siobhan’s head is blocking the photo of Adaine’s mouth.
Brennan: You have a choice right now. Roll me an Insight check.
Ally: Okay, that's pretty good. Hey, that is a 28.
Brennan: If you are wrong and you move to embrace the Nightmare King, Kristen Applebees will face oblivion. Not death, no chance of resurrection, gone. If your guess is right something else will happen. The realness of fear, fear that you are wrong in this guess is front and center in your mind, but there is a possibility that you are right. I have written down what will happen if you attempt to move in the direction of this divinity based on what you have gleaned from the book. Does Kristen choose to stay and remain safe here on the ledge or do you move in the direction of the Nightmare King?
Ally: I think I ... I'm still able to fly, right?
Brennan: Absolutely.
Ally: Okay, I say,
Kristen: What's your name, you who I praise?
Ally: And I fly out, full hands out, just holding my staff going like this.
Ally holds their hands up into the air.
Emily: ♪ Hallelujah ♪
Brennan: You guys watch Kristen just straight up start praying to the Nightmare King. Hold on one second.
Riz: She's under his spell!
Zac: Then Gorgug starts running at the tree.
Fig: Kalina got to her!
Lou: Yeah.
Brennan: Hold on one second everybody, sorry.
[soft, divine music]
Brennan: Kristen, you fly towards the Nightmare King. Let's see if you chose right.
Brennan holds up a piece of paper that says ‘FEAR IS NOT REAL’.
Brennan: Fear is not real. You move and fly. Tracker cries out, time seems to stop. The Nightmare King is about to cast Circle of Death, which would hit everybody on the ledge and do enough damage to drop almost everyone in the party. Kristen, you move towards the Nightmare King. All of you watch Kristen vanish into the chest of the Nightmare King and disappear in fluttering robes. Kristen, you are gone from this fight. And all of you up on the ledge, the fight is all but a foregone, you guys were so close to dying so many times, you look. All that's left is Arianwen. I believe everybody is up. Sandra Lynn puts the last arrows into the treant. Ragh is making death saves and is able to be healed. The only person now who is still in danger, incredibly, this fight was impossible and you have emerged victorious. The only person who is left is Gorthalax, falling through air and he's already so far away and he's headed towards the mist. Kristen moves as all of you surround Arianwen and face the Nightmare King who is raising up to completely destroy you all. And Kristen, you are in inky darkness. You sense around you and you say, "What is your name?" Something small and scared is in here. And you reach out and there is a humanoid figure that looks like it is made of, it looks like if you had sculpted someone from living glass, but reflected in that glass was a starry sky. And not full of stars, just a few, just a few points of light in all of the darkness. And you see that it is crouched, hugging its knees to its chin, looking weak and sad and alone. What does Kristen do?
Ally: I think I walk up and I say,
Kristen: Hi, are you okay?
Brennan: The being looks up and you see that they look up at you and say,
Deity: [softly] Am I really here? I've, I'm, I'm still out there I think, but I'm in here, too. What do you know about me?
Kristen: I don't know a lot, I know that you were getting hit with some lightning and I know that you represent something that a lot of people are afraid of, and so they've tried to destroy you or destroy the memory of you, but I know that I would follow you. Is it too early for that? This feels like a weird first date. (laughs) But I would follow you.
Brennan: As you say that, you see this being stands up and is just about your height.
Ally: 5'9''?
Brennan: Yeah, about 5'9''.
Ally: Cool.
Brennan: You see that they look and say,
Deity: [haltingly] What is it—? I-I... well if you want to follow me, then I wanna, then I wanna take care of you. Everyone who followed me before, they hurt me. And I hurt you too, I think, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry, you reached out with praise for me and I, I couldn't believe it and I thought you were just trying to hurt me, too.
Kristen: Well, I'm not. I'm here wholehearted and I'm not— I'm just ready to say I don't know and that's okay. IDK and that's okay.
Brennan: You see that the being stands up and laughs. And you see they say,
Deity: It's okay not to know, IDK. What were the things that I provided that you were interested in? You liked doubt and not knowing and the nighttime and magic and mystery and dreams. Is that something the world still needs? I don't...
Brennan: You see that they make themselves kind of smaller again and go like,
Deity: I don't, I don't wanna bother anyone if I'm offering something that nobody wants. But if someone wanted that I would be happy to give that.
Kristen: Definitely, definitely people want that. There are too many people with all the answers. You're extremely important.
(warm instrumental music)
Brennan: You see they look and say,
Deity: Then if people want to believe in the nighttime and that you can stand in the woods alone in the dark and not have to be afraid, because you're united there with everything else that's in the night there with you and that the world is a mystery, and that's beautiful. I would be happy to do that. What's your name?
Kristen: My name is Kristen Applebees and I don't like this shirt anymore. (laughs)
Deity: Oh, oh! Well, I think I'm some kind of, I think I'm some kind of god again. I'm not a very good god, I only have one follower, but she's a really great follower.
Kristen: Thanks, yeah.
Deity: I think I can change that.
Brennan: And you see, (mimics explosion) a star-blasted, black, indigo, purple and white tie-dye shirt that just has the letters IDK on it. In like a very swirly script appears on Kristen Applebees. You see—
Kristen: Sick.
Brennan: You see that the deity says,
Deity: Um, okay. Well, that's not a bad miracle to get started. What else do people need, what else does the world want?
Kristen: All my friends are about to die.
Deity: Oh.
Kristen: So that would be a cool miracle is to— Wait, are we inside of you, like an evil you or what's—
Deity: Oh, uh, no, so I, I'm a third thing because for a very long time I remember being who my big sister told me I had to be. And I don't really feel like that person. That person was destroyed, her name was destroyed. And I'm not really the Nightmare King either. That's just something people called me because I was frightening and scary. And also because I think people just default skeletons to male, you know, like you see a skeleton,and it's actually a huge problem in archeology. There's a bias to just look at a skeleton and be like, "that's clearly a king,” and I'm like, I'm wearing my old robe and a crown, I'm just a skeleton.
Kristen: Whoa.
Deity: But I don't, I don't feel like either of those people really anymore, and neither of those, I didn't really feel like a Nightmare King when I was a Nightmare King and even when I was, even before things never felt quite right. Uh, I can save your friends, I can save your friends. Um, what should I be now?
Kristen: We have so much in common. (laughs)
Deity: Oh good! Okay, good.
Brennan: You see that the new deity, they create like a shirt on themselves that's sort of like a tie-dyed shirt as well. They create some shorts on themselves but are still like this glass presence. It's hard to see their facial expressions and everything.
Kristen: Wow, me and my God figuring it out together, that's great.
Deity: Yeah. What would you, what should I be and what should, What do you wanna call me?
Kristen: Whoa. I mean, personally I've just been referring to you in my mind as the great mystery, but that does sound a little bit like a traveling sleight of hand magic act. So it could be something else if you want.
Deity: Sure, um, my old name was destroyed. Do you have a new, is there, what sort of names do people want their gods to have now?
Kristen: Oh, whoa. (laughs) I don't know. You mean, just like a normal person's name?
The deity shrugs expansively.
Kristen: (laughs) I mean obviously Cassandra.
Brennan mimes a small explosion.
Zac: Oh my God. Um, obviously.
Emily: So obvious.
Brennan: You see that Cassandra looks at you and they say—
Siobhan: They've done it again.
Brennan: You see they say,
Cassandra: I like the name Cassandra, if you like it.
Kristen: Yeah.
Brennan: You see that the deity says,
Cassandra: Okay, okay, it's time to help your friends, I think. I'm gonna bring you back out to the world now.
Brennan: Everybody out on the ledge, all of you look and see the Nightmare King shudder, stop, and buckle down and the massive crown tumbles, shrinks in size, and clatters onto the ledge in front of you all. Arianwen's eyes go wide. As Arianwen's eyes go wide you see that Kristen appears at the edge of the ledge out of one of the curled, bony hands that starts to change and become this glass nighttime star-filled thing. The robes fade off of this giant shape. You see that the being reaches down to the mist, stands up, and you are now seeing, as tall as a mountain, this new deity made of pure, glassy night wearing this giant new tie-dyed T-shirt. And you see in its massive hand... they lay Gorthalax down on the ledge, reach out a finger, and looks over at Kristen and they say,
Cassandra: I am Cassandra. I am the Divinity of Mystery, and life and death are all beyond our understanding. All rules may in their time be broken, and I say let this be reversed.
Brennan: They touch their finger to Gorthalax's chest and Gorthalax, (gasps and roars)
Emily: [in relief] Oh!
Brennan: Comes back. And Cassandra looks out at all of you. How is Kristen feeling about their new deity at this point?
Ally: Absolutely insane, I love this so much.
Kristen: Cassandra, we gotta get back 'cause we're long overdue on spring break, but you're coming with us. You're gonna come see Solace and you're gonna love it. Oh, I want to introduce Tracker, obviously.
Brennan: Tracker stares up like unbelieving. You see that Aelwyn's banishment finishes. The great unicorn has been cast into oblivion. Arianwen is bound and gagged here. She is like fully defeated here. You see the Nightmare Tree tumbles away. Against all of the odds you are all still here. What do all of you do as you look up at this towering deity where the Nightmare King was just standing?
[swelling, warm, orchestral music]
Siobhan: I kneel.
Gorgug: Are we cool?
Fig: You okay, Kristen?
Fabian: Yeah Kristen, did you do the thing you did before where there's just like a new?
Fig: The tie-dye makes it seems like you had something to do with this.
Adaine: Yeah, the T-shirt is very cool.
Kristen: I'm totally, yeah, I got a lot of my answers which turned out to be zero answers in a good way.
Fabian: So is this the Nightmare King?
Kristen: (laughs) This isn't the Nightmare King, this is Cassandra.
Fabian: Oh.
Fig: Cassandra.
Kristen: My new God, Cassandra.
Fabian: My apologies.
Fig: Cassandra.
Brennan: You watch Cassandra smile. They look at all of you and say,
Cassandra: You've all been very hurt in my forest. I wanna make that better.
Brennan: All of you are immediately healed to full. All levels of exhaustion are gone. All spell slots returned, made whole. And you see in a blast of magic The Hangman as a motorcycle, (mimics motor revving) appears again and The Hangman goes,
Hangman: Yes, yes, once again I am a motorcycle!
Fabian: Both forms, very cool, but of course, I mean, it'll be good to hit the road again.
Emily: Is Gilear restored to his pride armor?
Brennan: Gilear is not restored to his pride armor, but you see that Baxter and Gilear land. And Cassandra beholds all of you. They put their face down near the ledge and smile and they say,
Cassandra: Are all of you, um, the beloved of the blessed saint who has brought me here into this new age and new life?
Gorgug: I'm not sure that I can say that I am beloved by someone else.
Adaine: Yeah, I mean, I'm not gonna call her a blessed saint to her face.
Fig: I also don't, I don't know I have the confidence to just claim I'm beloved by someone I haven't talked about it with.
Riz: Kristen is my bud.
Kristen: I love them all.
Riz: And Kristen is a saint.
Kristen: I love them all, Riz the most, we already knew this. Adaine has my finger in her pocket.
Adaine: I did, I did have your finger in my pocket.
Kristen: But these are all my best friends.
Brennan: Cassandra smiles and says,
Cassandra: Well, I think it's high time that all of you were on your way.
Brennan: You see they look down at the crown at the final trans-substantiation, point their finger at it. (mimics explosion) Break it and you guys are looking at a disenchanted crown of The Nightmare King.
Fabian: Wait, we still need the crown for our grade, so please don't like fully.
Emily: It's still there. It's still there, it's disenchanted.
Gorgug: Almighty Cassandra, almighty Cassandra.
Ally: Prestidigitation, somebody clean it up.
Emily: Yeah, I'm gonna clean it up.
Gorgug: Cassandra, may we have this?
Brennan: Cassandra looks and smiles and looks at Kristen.
Fig: We've got one strong enough to bear it,
Emily: And I push Gilear forward.
Brennan: Gilear says,
Gilear: Um, hello Divinity, I am Gilear Faeth, a counselor to, former, I'm an assistant. I would be happy to escort your crown. Also, I was in some armor earlier and badly chapped certain parts of my body. The healing has not seemed to get the job all the way done, but—
Riz: Gilear, that's such a bad way to describe it. Just take the—
Gorgug: I cast Spare the Dying.
Gilear: Oh, very well, yes, yes, very well.
Brennan: Cassandra picks up the crown and puts it in Gilear's hands. He bows and you see Cassandra looks at Arianwen and says,
Cassandra: This woman is not of your number. She was here to attempt to control me in my hurt and shattered state, is that correct?
Adaine: That's her MO, yes, that's what she tries to do to people, control them in their hurt and battered states.
Fig: Pretty sure she lost her magic, though.
Adaine: That's true.
Kristen: (laughs) That's what I heard.
Adaine: Yeah.
Brennan: You see that Cassandra smiles at you, Fig, and says,
Cassandra: Here in my forest, dreams are very real and you were very clever in learning that.
Brennan: They look at Arianwen and say,
Cassandra: Let's make that permanent, shall we?
Brennan: Blasts Arianwen and removes her magic forever.
Siobhan: Oh, a fate worse than death.
Fig: May I, I mean, instead of, you know, things can neither be created nor destroyed, what if that magic leapt to the one who wears their crown.
Ally: Fig is just level 45.
Emily: Oh no, I was talking about Gilear. (laughs)
Brennan: You see that Cassandra looks and they smile and they say--
Fig: It's fine if I'm asking too much.
Brennan: You see they smile and so they say,
Cassandra: Come into my hands.
Brennan: And they put their hands at the edge of the ledge and they're like,
Cassandra: I shall take you back home.
Gorgug: Oh.
Adaine: All of us?
Gorgug: I had the thought--
Fabian: You're gonna throw us?
Cassandra: No, it won't kill you.
Fig: That's awesome. That's a great god.
Lou: Oh, amazing, I step in.
Zac: Can I whisper to Cassandra?
Brennan: Yes, you can.
Zac: I just run up to their ear.
Gorgug: Hey, long story, but on our way here I just remembered this and you seem like a person who could possibly handle this. One of our friends asked for a big bus that has I think hands or something. It's like a live bus.
Lou: It's a unicorn, right? Like a horse?
Cassandra: Are you speaking of a pentacorn, a unicorn with five horns and 20 legs?
Fig: No, I think we're talking about a bus with hands for wheels. Is that what you're talking about, Gorgug?
Gorgug: I don't fully remember.
Adaine: Yes, it was a bus with hands for wheels.
Fabian: No, wasn't it the animal that Fig wanted from Aguefort?
Gorgug: Yeah.
Siobhan: The pentacorn?
Emily: Oh, okay, I see.
Siobhan: That is the pentacorn.
Gorgug: If I dream it, would it be real?
Cassandra: Yes, in your heart. All right, let's move on.
(group laughing)
Brennan: You see—
Fig: That was so sweet, Gorgug.
Gorgug: I just kinda wanted to see if it would be real.
Brennan: You see that Cassandra looks. You see the vands, the van with hands scramble out of the woods.
Lou: Ew!
Brennan: You see that Cassandra picks all of you up in their hands and they look at Arianwen and they say,
Cassandra: Arianwen, you came here of your own accord and you will leave as such. Perhaps you can get the vands to take you.
Brennan: And you see that Arianwen screams as the van starts crawling after her.
Lou: Jesus Christ!
(group laughing)
Adaine: Seems very character-building to me. Character-building exercise for you to get out of this forest.
Emily: No more magic.
Brennan: You see Arianwen's running down the steps as the van goes after and she goes,
Arianwen: [screaming] Daughters, you would not abandon me! There is love between us still!
Brennan: And you see that Aelwyn looks over at you and just goes,
Aelwyn: Love without expectation, what's that?
Adaine: I have no idea.
Brennan: You see, you are carried as Cassandra moves taking like mile-long steps moving through the sea of mist. And suddenly as if by magic flying over the forest of the Nightmare King with you your hirelings are all weeping, like Ragh is holding Gorgug and Fabian being like,
Ragh: I kept having like nightmares about my mom. It was so fucked up, like I couldn't save her. I'm so sorry I attacked you guys.
Fabian: Hey, hey.
Gorgug: It's all right.
Fabian: It was crazy, man. I mean, people tried to shit in my mouth, yeah, so—
Adaine: I drowned.
Gorgug: A big bug gave me a riddle.
Fig: I met Hilda Hilda.
Adaine: Oh, that's definitely the worst one.
Riz: I saw Baron, I saw Baron again, it was awful.
Siobhan: Oh, you're right. Also none of us know about Hilda Hilda from the first time round because you didn't tell us.
Emily: Hm, interesting.
Gorgug: Yeah, who's Hilda Hilda?
Fig: Uh, no one.
Gorgug: Okay.
Brennan: You see, Fig, Sandra Lynn is clutching you, weeping hysterically. She is just going like,
Sandra Lynn: I was just there, I was seeing.
Fig: Mom, it absolutely, water under the bridge.
Brennan: She looks up, she just collapses and puts her head in your lap. And Kristen, you see Tracker just like, collapses against your side. You can tell that she is like, hurt, but like in this moment is just taking comfort in your presence there next to her. And you guys are deposited at the edge of the forest back at Arborly. Cassandra waves their hand. The briar wall vanishes, (snaps fingers) sinks back into the earth and you watch all the wood elves and Nuathera and the gnomes see the forest open up to them again. You guys have restored an entire section of the map and changed the world for the better. You are victorious in your fight. You defeated an amount of challenge ratings that truly staggers the imagination.
Adaine: If we don't get an A grade for this project I'm calling the cops.
[music changes to a triumphant, epic orchestral piece with lots of horns]
Brennan: All of you arrive back in Arborly. People are like, ecstatic and so, so happy. You see that Cassandra before they leave looks down and sees the Hangvan and reaches into the pocket of their shorts and pulls out a small mountain of silver, just dumps a bunch of silver on the ground in front of you. Enough, Gorgug, for you to buy the Hangvan back.
Gorgug: Thank you, I'm broke.
Brennan: (laughs) You see—
Fig: It's fine, we might be making ad revenue at this point.
Adaine: Oh, that's true.
Fabian: Mm, partnership.
Brennan: All of you, you see that Cassandra in parting looks at you and says,
Cassandra: You faced many nightmares in this forest.
Brennan: Points to Riz and says,
Cassandra: Baron and the world of mirrors, Kristen's resurrection journey in lands beyond, Gorgug and the Sphinx, Adaine and the cliff, the carnival, Fig, yourself, the end of the sleeping village and Fabian—
Fabian: Let's skip over it. Let's skip over it, we don't need to dwell.
Riz: What happened with you, Fabian?
Kristen: What was your fear?
Adaine: Yeah, what's the scariest thing for you?
Brennan: You see Cassandra looks and says,
Cassandra: The only thing you faced I thought was that rat.
Fabian: No, there wasn’t, I didn't, nothing—
Riz: Just a single rat?
Fig: A single rat?
Fabian: Oh, great Cassandra!
Kristen: One rat?
Fig: One rat?
Fabian: No, it was the sexy rat? Do you remember the sexy—
Fig: Oh, this one?
Fabian: You remember that disgusting sexy rat?
Emily: I conjure the sexy rat, I conjure the sexy rat.
Fabian: Oh!
Fig: This one?
Brennan: You see Cassandra looks and says,
Cassandra: Well, the sexy rat was the only thing that I conjured so anything else was not me.
Fabian: Stop, stop. Do not.
Siobhan: Oh no.
Zac: Can I make a Perception check to see if Chungledown Bim is chasing us?
Lou: Can I do an Insight check to see if this god is lying to me.
Brennan: Yeah, do an Insight check.
Lou: Does this god got jokes? It's like a 12.
Brennan: A 12, you're not sure. Cassandra looks at you and says,
Cassandra: The only part of your journey that was created by me was the rat so if you encountered anything else that must have also been a fellow traveler in the forest.
Fabian: No, because they were working together. At one point the sexy rat called for Chungledown Bim and told him that I was hiding in a cave.
Cassandra: Chungledown Bim, I don't know what that is at all.
Fabian: Stop, Kristen, your new deity's got jokes, all right, and I like that, I like that a lot but also stop, stop.
Emily: The sexy rat is on your shoulders.
Lou: I stab, I just full on try and stab it.
Brennan: You all, you try to stab the sexy rat. The ribbing continues, you get the van back. Adaine, near here you find your jacket and your orb.
Siobhan: Oh, I throw the orb into the sea.
Brennan: Whoosh, the orb is fucking gone. You bring Boggy back. As you guys leave Arborly on your journey back home, feel free to stop me at any point, but as we transition into the epilogue of this story. Ayda asks if you all can stop at Leviathan on your way back.
Emily: Yeah.
Brennan: You stop at Leviathan on your way back and you see that Ayda is going there to shrink down the Compass Points. Waiting for you all in Leviathan, however, you all find at the door of the Compass Points, you see Garthy O'Brien and Arthur Aguefort.
Siobhan: Huh.
Brennan: As you guys arrive back you see that Ayda looks at Arthur, Arthur looks at Ayda and Arthur steps up to her and says,
Aguefort: Oh, my daughter, Ayda. Many hundreds of years ago you told me never to speak to you again and I did my best to honor that request. I have heard that you have changed your mind and I thought in the manner of parents I would present to you a gift.
Brennan: And he reaches in and pulls a key out and gives it to Ayda and she looks up and says,
Ayda: Um, hello Father. Oh, this is my paramour Figueroth Faeth.
Brennan: And you see Arthur looks over at you Fig and says,
Aguefort: A paramour! (laughs)
Fig: 'Sup.
Aguefort: Oh, snogging the headmaster's daughter are we? Ha ha ha, ah, ribald!
Brennan: You see that—
Fig: Yeah, I'm gonna say, I don't need, remember I tried to order the most magnificent thing you could ever make? Turns out you already made it so I'm gonna take that order back.
Various awws from the cast.
Ally: Aww.
Murph: So smooth.
Emily: I pretend that I'm not really proud of that. I look out of the corner of my eye to see if Ayda liked that.
Brennan: Ayda bursts into tears. And you see that Arthur says,
Aguefort: Yes, yes, sentiment! That's what's needed!
Brennan: And you see he closes the key in Ayda's hand and says,
Aguefort: Ayda, I won't lie, I'm not altogether a very present man, but I do love you after my own fashion, and this key here is a key that should open the door to your quarters here in the Compass Points, accessible from the third floor landing closet door in Mordred Manor so there will be no need to move the Compass Points. They are in fact joined. I hope you enjoy.
Ally: Aw.
Brennan: And by the way, that landing thing is like right across from your room.
Emily: I whisper to Ayda,
Fig: Um, I'm actually under the piano. My room is under the piano if that makes sense. It will once you go there.
Kristen: You should just move rooms, Fig, as someone dating someone. You're gonna want more room than that. Let's get you a proper room.
Fig: Just play the F sharp and then it sort of flips under.
Gorgug: Just sort of a bowl?
Fig: Yeah.
Brennan: Arthur looks at the rest of you. Garthy comes over as Arthur and Ayda, Ayda takes Arthur over and Arthur starts having a little heart to heart with her. Garthy comes over and goes,
Garthy: Well loveys, it looks like you've done it again, haven't you? World savers, cheeky.
Brennan: They say,
Garthy: I threw a little party for you down at the Gold Gardens.
Brennan: You see that they look over and Fig, you see they make eye contact with you and then pointedly look at all the rest of you and they say,
Garthy: I know that my darling girl is gonna be spending a lot more time in Solace now, yeah. So please take care of her. I'll miss her something terrible.
Fig: I actually think she's gonna keep being here, but...
Adaine: Yeah, back and forth.
Fig: Yeah.
Brennan: You see they say,
Garthy: That's real good, but.
Brennan: You see Garthy smiles and they look at you, Fig, and they say,
Garthy: It's just that... I took care of Ayda the best that I could, yeah, but it was very hard for me and I'm very happy to know that she has someone that really makes her happy.
Fig: Well, I'm happy to have you say that, honestly.
Brennan: You see they smile and they just say—
Fig: Whatever you did, you did great. I wouldn't have a single regret if I were you.
Garthy: I tried to take care of her the best I could, but it was challenging because, um.
Brennan: And you see tears stream gold down Garthy's face and they look up and they say,
Garthy: My mom's name was Ayda Aguefort, too.
Ally: Aw.
Zac: Oh.
Emily: Oh.
Ally: Whoa.
Adaine: Oh my God, your girlfriend's daughter fucked your mom!
Fig: That's weird, is this weird? This is weird now, right?
Garthy: Ay, easy there young Miss Oracle!
Fig: This is weird now.
Garthy: Listen, I know it's weird, lovey. It's why once she was of age I had to sort of, you know.
Gorgug: Your mom?
Brennan: You see that Ragh, Ragh makes eye contact with you, Gorgug, and you're like,
Ragh: Their daughter's mom?
Gorgug: Ex-girlfriends, daughter, her mom.
Murph: Conspiracy born, conspiracy born.
Fig: This is a lot. This is a lot.
Gorgug: I understand.
[music changes to something lingering and mysterious]
Brennan: You look out and all of you, you see that Arthur comes over. The last thing Arthur says is, says,
Aguefort: Oh, and the matter of the crown. Well, you have successfully returned the crown of The Nightmare King. However, you are one week overdue.
Fabian: Oh, okay.
Aguefort: However, you know, a week overdue is simply a matter of [suddenly loud] time, and time as we all know can be rearranged!
Emily laughs.
Brennan: You see that Arthur Aguefort looks at you all and says,
Aguefort: I will be taking the crown from you all now and I'm going to go back in time and stop myself from doing all that stuff I did in Fallinel. But I'm going to replace it with illusions of myself doing all of that, return the crown in time for your spring break conclusion and that way the school's not broke, the crown is back, and you all get an A, how does that sound?
Adaine: Sounds good to us.
Kristen: Yeah, definitely.
Adaine: Professor, principal, headmaster Aguefort, my sister is sort of wanted for quite a lot of crimes in Solace, but I was wondering if she came to study at Aguefort Academy if she could maybe just go to therapy and do some community service and that would be okay?
Brennan: Arthur looks over at Aelwyn and says,
Aguefort: Well, very recently, as recently as last year I was helpful in helping one William Seacaster secure a general amnesty and I see no reason why this citizen of Fallinel could not be able to swear under that same amnesty, too, Miss Abernant.
Kristen: Hey, maybe she'll be a Seacaster soon, too.
Ally: And then I look at Fabian way too obviously.
Emily: Oh!
Fabian: I mean, that was like a--
Gorgug: Do you think Fabian's mom's gonna get with?
Kristen: Yeah!
Adaine: Yeah, that's what's gonna happen.
Fabian: What, no, no, that's not, I mean maybe, who knows?
Adaine: Fabian’s mom and my sister.
Kristen: Gilear is gonna take Fabian's mom's last name.
Adaine: Now actually it could happen, so let's not even think about it.
Kristen: Then Gilear is gonna date her.
Fabian: It's too much, my brain cannot take this.
Brennan: Arthur smiles, takes the crown, does some crazy time shit to go back in time and turn his entire Fallinel excursion into a series of, basically you actually see him use his watch, open a time portal, jump outside of Calethriel Tower and club himself in the back of the head to knock himself unconscious and quickly spring up a bunch of illusions and he says,
Aguefort: Haha, chronomancy!
Brennan: The portal closes and all of y'all return back to Elmville. For all of you, what do you all do as sort of our epilogue to Sophomore Year? What do you all do as you return to Elmville?
Ally: Me and Tracker go straight up to the roof of the Manor. We set up the most comfortable-looking hammock and we just hang out there. Only the two of us, nobody else allowed for a very long time, [hugs themself] my sweet baby.
Brennan: She is so warm in your arms. You guys get back to Mordred Manor. The first thing that happens when you get back to Mordred is you see a tearful reunion. Jawbone and Sandra Lynn embrace.
Zac: Aw.
Brennan: Sandra Lynn smiles, Jawbone very openly to anyone who asks explains what happened which was that the breakup they had mid-quest was not Jawbone's idea, it was basically Sandra Lynn feeling self-conscious and insecure. And you see that Jawbone welcomes you all back home. And Sandra Lynn and he, basically you know, the first time he knocks a beer or two back and is like,
Jawbone: I mean, we're gonna have to talk about boundaries. We're gonna have to talk about expectations. You know, I didn't want it closed to begin with. And I mean, those horses are out of the barn at this point, but you know, we're gonna figure it out and you kids never have to worry 'cause Mordred Manor's a home for y'all no matter what.
Adaine: Our parents are great.
Kristen: Yeah.
Brennan: You see that as you guys go up. Hold on one second. Adaine, as you are going up to your room you see that you get up there.
[music changes to gentle piano]
Brennan: There are gifts strewn all over your oracle room. Some of them are like baby gifts like little stuffed animals and stuff. You see that there's 16 of them. And they’re for all of the birthdays that you would have had if you had grown up here. Jawbone in his cardigan kind of sheepishly walks up. You see he says,
Jawbone: Uh, hey there Adaine. I, I um, I got us, hey it's a manila envelope here and um.
Brennan: He puts it down on the corner of your desk and just says,
Jawbone: Uh, oh, I see you saw those. Those are for you, kind of a housewarming or late, late, late, late birthday gifts. I got these papers, they're, you know, you're finishing up your sophomore year so this might be crazy and you know, it's a lot of paperwork and I understand, but if you wanted to be...
Siobhan: I give him a big hug.
Brennan: He gives you a big hug and just starts crying and he looks up and says,
Jawbone: Sandra Lynn told me how hard everything was and...
Adaine: I killed my dad. At the time it felt good, but maybe we can talk about it. I should probably also have a therapist that—
Jawbone: Yes.
Adaine: Separate from you.
Jawbone: Yes, you should have a separate therapist, absolutely.
Adaine: But also let's please talk.
Jawbone: Let's talk about it and, we're gonna, and I… I, uh...
Adaine: Thank you.
Jawbone: My whole life turned around 'cause of you kids, and you took a chance on me and you're living under this roof, you have a family, and you have a dad even if he's a mangy, dusty old one. And if you wanna sign some papers about it you can. And you don't have to if you don't. And kid, I don't know how else to say this other than, you're easy to love, and anyone who couldn't figure it out was a real bozo.
Brennan: And he tussles your hair and he takes a step and says,
Jawbone: Oh, and I'm gonna get some lumber from the hardware store and we're gonna get you some bunk beds in here!
Brennan: Aelwyn is like, so clearly uncomfortable with how moved she is and happy in this new home. Mordred Manor is now Jawbone, Sandra Lynn, Fig, Adaine, Kristen, Tracker… Ragh moves in with his mom Lydia who you all meet who's a badass.
Siobhan: Oh my God, thank God there's so many secret doors in this manor house.
Ally: Incredible.
Brennan: Mordred Manor is packed. Lydia is awesome, she's a wheelchair user and she comes in and you see that she has the gem stuck in her chest and she's like,
Lydia: [sounds similar to Ragh] Lydia Barkrock, great to meet everyone. Solid gang, good crew. What are we doing for dinner? Anyone feel like some chili? How do we feel about chili?
Brennan: And Ragh's like,
Ragh: My mom rules!
Brennan: And you see that yeah, Zayn, Aelwyn is there now.
Ally: My gosh.
Brennan: Fig, Lola Embers is on you immediately like,
Lola: We need to be planning the Archdevil Tour. We need to be printing posters.
Fig: I've actually got a new concept album.
Brennan: She says,
Lola: Oh my God, I'm listening, what is it? Hello, I'm here.
Fig: It's all about a phoenix who everyone she touches is reborn better.
Brennan: You see that Ayda--
Fig: It's just something I've been trying to say for a while and there just hasn't been a right moment so I just wrote a bunch of songs about it.
Brennan: You see that Ayda across the room looks up at you and you see that she Prestidigitations a bunch of little flaming hearts that float away in the room and blushes and touches her cheek. And you see Lola says,
Lola: Okay. There's some context I'm missing, but that's okay. We're gonna talk about it, I love it.
Brennan: You see that you have never written more songs in your life. Like, the songs are just flooding out of you. For everyone else, are there any other conversations people wanna have? Are there things they do when they get back to town or questions that are left unaddressed?
Zac: I think Gorgug probably lets his parents know that he's coming by later and picks Zelda up and they go to Basrar's.
Brennan: You and Zelda are at Basrar's. Zelda is so happy to see you, gives you a big kiss as soon as she sees you. You see that she smiles and says,
Zelda: It's really cute that you brought me here 'cause this is where we went on our first date, and I love you.
Gorgug: Oh, well, you know. I love you, too. (chuckles) I just thought it would be kinda fun 'cause we haven't been here in a while. And you know, I love— I love ice cream.
Zelda: I do, too.
Gorgug: It's so good.
Zelda: I super do, too.
Brennan: You guys talk the night away. It comes up organically on its own without you having to pry or push at all, but Zelda finds out about that text from Skrank that you got which was actually real and she is like,
Zelda: Oh, Skrank is such a weird, creep.
Zac: Wait, what, wait, I forget, that was real?
Brennan: It was not an illusion on your phone. It was a real text from Skrank where he was like, I hope everything's okay between us.
Gorgug: Wait, what happened? (laughs)
Brennan: You see that Zelda's like,
Zelda: We literally talked at a party and he told people that we went on a date. We literally talked at that party that night. Skrank sucks, Skrank is bad.
Gorgug: Damn. I'm gonna have to kick Skrank's ass. Right, whatever, I don't care.
Brennan: You see she's like,
Zelda: It could be kinda hot if you kicked his ass, like if you really freaked out.
Gorgug: Yeah, like got like super mad and threw that bird across the room.
Zelda: Yeah, that would be super hot. That axe is pretty cool that you have.
Gorgug: This one?
Zelda: [very quickly] Wow, you could just lift that all the way up. Let's go, could we, my folks are at a, like a battle ceremony and my house is empty right now. Do you wanna come over to my house?
Gorgug: Sure.
Zelda: Let's get outta here.
Zac: Peel away in the Hangvan.
Brennan: (laughs) You peel away in The Hangvan. Some great fucking uke tunes come on. Zaphriel's back in the gem.
Zaphriel: [double peace signs] Hey, it's a chill time in the van.
Brennan: Your folks are also so happy and proud that you're back in town. And you head off with Zelda. Riz, you are back at Strongtower and you see your mom, Sklonda is there.
Murph: Yeah, I rush up to my mom and I give her a big hug and I say,
Riz: Mom, I have so much cool stuff to show you.
Murph: And I'd like to think that I used the tie to get kind of a shot of my dad as we're leaving the heavenly thing, and I wanna kinda give her like basically a slide show, like a real dorky slide show of all of the things we did in the Nightmare Forest and all the stuff with my dad.
Brennan: She is so happy, you see tears welling in her eyes. She says she can't believe it. She looks and says,
Sklonda: He's really out there somewhere.
Riz: Yeah, he's still doing his job. He's still a secret agent, and I think someday we're just gonna be super cool badass goblin crime solving angels.
Brennan: She smiles so wide, she kisses you on the forehead and she says,
Sklonda: Sweetie, I'm so proud. You're so much like your father. [forehead smooch]
Brennan: And you see that life is good in Elmville. You see that back at Seacaster Manor, Hallariel greets you, kisses you on both cheeks Fabian, and Cathilda gives you a big hug. And Hallariel looks over and says as Gilear heads to the garage you see she calls after Gilear and says,
Hallariel: Oh darling, why don't you, I think it'd be a little more convenient if you grabbed your things and moved up to the master bedroom.
Fabian: Yeah, Gilear, it's about time you lived in the house.
Brennan: Gilear looks up, (sniffles) sniffs, tries to hold back the emotion and says,
Gilear: I feel confident in saying that I am worthy enough that it is okay for me to live inside of a house.
Fabian: Yeah. Yes, Gilear.
Gilear: I deserve that. I will get my panini press and my miniature refrigerator.
Brennan: And you see that he walks into the garage and gets his stuff. You see, wrapping up the last couple things. Ayda and Jawbone hit it off right away, and you see there's one day that Ayda's just like weeping tears of joy, and she's got a whole stack of books that Jawbone has given for her about autism and about the autism spectrum. And you see that she goes like,
Ayda: This is normal, this is normal, this is normal. (sighs)
Brennan: And you see Jawbone shrugs and pats her, rubs her head and goes,
Jawbone: Yeah, yeah, you know, normal's good, and I know that you ask a lot if a thing is normal or not and I guess in that sense—
Adaine: I can help with that!
Jawbone: Hey, there you go!
Brennan: You see Ayda looks over and says,
Ayda: Yes, that would be wonderful. I would love some help with this.
Adaine: I wrote you a spell and I want you to know that I wrote it, I think that you're really cool and it's not about you being not good enough or not cool enough, but in return for the spell that I killed my father with I wrote you Ayda's Comprehend Subtext.
Siobhan holds a hand-written spell card up to her camera.
Group laughs.
Brennan: She takes this like it is a priceless treasure and she says,
Ayda: This is an exquisite work of spellcraft. I will never find myself befuddled again as long as I have—
Fig: Ayda, sometimes I like describing the subtext to you, though.
Brennan: You see that Ayda nods and says,
Ayda: Well, I, this will of course consume some spell slots so it must be used judiciously and under dire circumstances so I will rely on you for the day-to-day, my paramour, but in moments of crises where subtext must be gleaned at any cost, thank you Oracle.
Adaine: You're welcome, and obviously I didn't do it to get in between you two 'cause I think you're great.
Fig: Oh, that's fine, I was actually just trying to kinda flirt when I said that.
Adaine: Oh, I'm so bad at reading that, I'm so sorry. I just keep misreading it.
Fig: It's fine. Honestly, I'm really bad at doing it. I'm kinda just following Kristen's lead.
Adaine: No, oh.
Fig: Kristen's just really aggressive so that's what I'm trying to do, you know?
Adaine: Yeah, no, yeah.
Brennan: You see—
Adaine: Kristen's really good at flirting.
Kristen: You miss 100% of the shot you don't take.
Fig: Kristen’s really good, Kristen's really good at flirting so I'm like, cool. That's how you do it successfully.
Brennan: For everything else, Kristen, you have new, (soft piano music) you see as soon as you start talking to people about your new divinity, about Cassandra, people are intrigued right away. Craig is there right away. Craig is so down, Craig was there for Yes! Craig is back for Cassandra.
Ally: Oh yeah.
Brennan: At the end of sophomore year you guys all get to watch Ragh walk across the stage and graduate thanks to getting an A on your adventure.
Ally: Yes!
Adaine: Hoot, growl, hoot, growl, hoot, growl!
Brennan: Oh, you see Ragh is there. He's got the Owlbear wrap-around and the rainbow LGBT Union wrap-around and he's just going,
Ragh: Hoot, growl, hoot, growl! This one's for Aguefort, baby! Bad Kids for life, motherfuckers! You heard it here first!
Brennan: And he smashes the podium apart.
Adaine: Dude rules!
Ragh: (cheers) Yeah, getting feisty!
Brennan: You see that, you know, Ragh runs across the stage. Aelwyn is there in Mordred as well, very happy to be in the room with Adaine, but also feeling a little bit left out, and she's also past the age now of being a senior and is trying to figure things out. You know, she's 18.
Siobhan: Mm-hmm.
Brennan: She one night in Mordred Manor just looks across the table at you, Fabian, and goes.
Aelwyn: Did I, I'm so sorry, did we make out at that party at Ostentatia Wallace's?
Fabian: Oh, (laughs) yeah, we did, and we were going to, you said something about keelhauling me but then we ended up fighting.
Aelwyn: I did some snuff powder off your chest and there the cantrip for some-
Fabian: Yes, yeah.
Aelwyn: I think I tried to stab your friend The Ball.
Fabian: Yeah, we were playing stabby knife fingers or something. It was a great, it was incredible, you were incredible. It was incredible, all things were great. (chuckles for way too long)
Group laughs.
Fabian: I had like a big crush on you like, sorry. What did I say, did I?
Brennan: You see she looks and says,
Aelwyn: I won't lie. I'm very deeply traumatized and I've learned that deep down I'm a good person, but I'm trying to work on a lot of those walls and things to kind of get rid of that and I feel like you're kind of, and I don't mean this in an offensive way, but you're kind of fucked up in a lot of ways, too and keep a lot of walls up.
Fabian: I killed my dad. Like I don't know, yeah, of course, yeah, of course I'm fucked up. (laughs)
Aelwyn: So I feel like we could be really toxic in each other's lives in a very exciting sexual way if that's something you're interested in.
Fabian: I mean—
Adaine: Not in our bedroom though!
Fabian: Oh, we’ll, yes.
Fig: You can borrow the piano room!
Fabian: Yeah, no, no, I have my own beautiful, expensive bedroom in my mansion so I would love that.
Brennan: You see that she smiles and says,
Aelwyn: Interesting. Well, be nice to me, you know.
Lou: I immediately message The Hangman and I'm like,
Fabian: Somebody's getting their kisses tonight, Hangman.
Hangman: Master, you've done it, ah yes!
Fabian: I'm gonna get my kisses, I'm going to get my kisses.
Brennan: Incredible. You see that, the last one or two things. Weeks pass, you guys have like weeks of, life is back in Elmville again, you're happy. The first time you all go to Basrar's as the Bad Kids after getting back is incredible and extraordinary. Fig, Ayda is, you're so happy. You've never been more creative and she is—
Emily: Everything I'm too shy to say in person 'cause like all I really know how to do is just aggressively flirt with her because that feels so like performing so I'm still getting used to being sincere so I just put it all into song so that's how I can tell her how I feel.
Brennan: Ayda loves nothing more than for you to sing to her. And she just one night at the end of that year just goes,
Ayda: It's a wizard's role to fly past the edges of reality and yet the joy I feel when I'm with you staggers even the imagination of one who can call the wind and seas to their aid.
Fig: I would say that the joy that you get from me is a joy that you brought out in me so you saw something in me and you brought it out. So whatever I'm doing for you, you did for yourself. Do you think I would write these songs without having met you?
Brennan: You see she goes,
Ayda: An exquisite feedback loop of positive reinforcement. What a powerful structure, I love you.
Fig: I love you.
Brennan: Love blooms in Elmville. And Kristen, Tracker loves you so much. And there are weeks of, there are weeks of trying to, you can see that her relationship with her God has changed. What does Kristen do facing that?
Ally: I think I ask her about it,
Kristen: What's going on?
Brennan: She says,
Tracker: I think I love you so much, Kristen. There's something wrong with my God, my Goddess, my church, the visions I saw there, you said that you saw Galicaea. What did you think when you saw her?
Kristen: I mean, yeah, honestly I think she had some kind of self-hating werewolf side of her. The impression that I got was maybe she's influenced by her followers who are a little bit more evil or, I don't know, people like the Abernants, like the bad Abernants.
Brennan: Give me an Insight check one last time.
Ally: 13.
Brennan: She has a mysterious look on her face, she nods. She knows your vision of the fact that gods are shaped by their followers. Your God, Cassandra by the way, every day it's like,
Cassandra: Hi, um, I know, I have a new miracle I thought we could try and.
Kristen: I love it.
Brennan: You've got all their attention.
Brennan sneezes.
Lou: Bless you.
Brennan: Thank you.
Ally: Bless you.
Brennan: That summer Tracker breaks the news to you that she is gonna go and leave Elmville.
Kristen: Whoa, where are you going?
Tracker: Fallinel.
Kristen: Oh, whoa.
Tracker: I think I need to, I think I need to figure out what happened to this church, to my Goddess. I think I need to fix this. And you're so happy with your new deity and I, there's so much mess that I have to clean up I feel like, that there needs to be a revolution, a rebellion, a reimagining. I feel like there's something there that I have to fix, does that make sense?
Kristen: Yeah, so like a week or like, like, like are we talking like a month or?
Brennan: She smiles and says,
Tracker: Maybe like a month or two.
Kristen: Okay, whoa. Yeah, that's a lot but I think, yeah, I get it. I get why you need to do that, yeah.
Brennan: She smiles, kisses you, and you see a look of resolve and determination on her face like there's something that she has to do. She has to make this right. And you see that summer she loads up a car along with Ragh and they head off on an adventure. Ragh's gonna go as her bodyguard to help her on this quest and wish goodbye to everybody and spread a lot of love. And you see that she looks and blows you a kiss, Kristen and then she's off on her way.
Ally: I think I, I want to have, like made her like a little something like a little flag or something for her religion.
Brennan: Perfect.
Ally: And then, yeah.
Brennan: You make a little flag. Is there like a symbol on it or something? Like, what do you think Kristen would put on it?
Ally: Yeah, her like, Moon Haven flag with a lot of stars on it.
Brennan: She smiles and says,
Tracker: This is beautiful. I'm gonna go shake some shit up.
Kristen: Cool.
Tracker: I love you, Kristen Applebees.
Kristen: I love you, too. If it takes longer than a couple months like obviously I get it. I'll just miss you a lot.
Tracker: I'll miss you too, sweetheart.
Brennan: And they take off. A lot of growth and challenge and bittersweet feelings. And yeah, I think if that's everything I'll just do the last thing unless anyone wants to interject with something real quick, but there's just one last thing I have to do. You guys are all off at, you guys are all back at Strongtower hanging out at Riz's place. The whole gang's there and there's actually a new pool near there and it's summer, it's a hot day so you're all there.
Siobhan: Nice.
Brennan: Riz, your mom looks over and sees your tattoos for the first time.
Murph: (laughs) I'm wearing like one of those surfer things but it's like still poking out a little bit.
Zac: I love this part.
Brennan: You see that your mom goes and says,
Sklonda: What is that? Riz Gukgak, what is this?
Riz: They're clues, Mom, they're clues!
Sklonda: Oh my God, I am gonna flip out, I am gonna flip out. What does that even say? What the hell does that say on your chest?
Riz: It says Nightmare King crown. Then it says Garthy O'Brien, Night Yorb.
Brennan: As soon as you say Night Yorb.
Zac: No, no.
Group laughs.
[exciting, adventurous music]
Brennan: You fly up into the air, your tattoos glow, and you see that a massive column of darkness shoots into the sky. As it does so, you see that a swirling vortex, like a manta ray of shadow that blots out the sun comes back and you see it goes, (growls)
Night Yorb: [growling] You have spoken the name of the Night Yorb! An age of darkness forevermore!
Brennan: The lights fade from the sky. It is nighttime all over, all everywhere, and you see wearing little scuba flippers and a snorkel and a little wraparound floaty inner tube, Arthur Aguefort looks over at all of you and says,
Aguefort: Um, very well, have you Bad Kids put any thought into what your junior year project might be?
Brennan: That's all for sophomore year of Fantasy High.
Lou: Wow.
Siobhan: Wow.
Ally: Wow.
Zac: Riz, no!
Lou: No Riz.
Brennan: Speak not of the Night Yorb, gang.
Lou: Too late.
Captions extracted: matthew
Edited by: gluegunshots, Hana, rowan solsys <3