Introduction to FIRO
A lot of people requested type descriptions, but I thought a really thorough simple explanation might help a bit more. Enjoy!
What is FIRO?
Firo stands for Fundamental Interpersonal Relations Orientation. While it’s not specifically made to be a typology system (as your type can change over time and it’s solely a measure of how you interact with others, not your personality as a whole) you can still use it as a type system as long as you acknowledge that it’s not the sole definer of your personality! FIRO is made to measure compatibility between people and groups of people.
Why should I look into FIRO?
FIRO is a great way to tell a lot about what needs someone has in a relationship. While one person will reach out all the time and not expect a response back, someone else may be very hurt by a lack of reciprocated affection. The easiest way to solve issues like these is to just know what someone else wants in their interpersonal relations, and FIRO is a simple way to do that. Of course it does simplify how people interact with each other and can’t tell the full story, but in a few letters you can get a brief approximation of what someone wants when they reach out to you. If you happen to find socializing as stressful as I do, FIRO can be a great tool!
“Expressed” and “Want”
FIRO’s temperaments are based on two axes: how much you express an engagement in a FIRO category and how much you want others to engage in that way. For example, in the inclusion category the expressed axis measures how much you include other people, whereas the inclusion axis is how much you yourself want to be included
You can find you type in each category using this chart:
High wanted engagement | Medium wanted engagement | Low wanted engagement | |
High expressed engagement | Sanguine
| Sanguine Phlegmatic/ Choleric Phlegmatic
| Choleric
|
Medium expressed engagement | Phlegmatic Sanguine/ Phlegmatic Supine
| Phlegmatic
| Phlegmatic Choleric/ Phlegmatic Melancholic
|
Low expressed engagement | Supine
| Supine Phlegmatic/ Melancholic Phlegmatic
| Melancholic
|
The three FIRO types
FIRO measures your type in three areas: Inclusion, Control, and Affection. You get a type in each of these categories, rather than an overall temperament that may not match in a certain area. For example, someone could be Sanguine in inclusion, but Melancholic in Control. These temperaments are stylized as Inclusion-Control-Affection.
Inclusion
Inclusion is tied to the fear of exclusion. Someone who has a high want for inclusion will have a strong fear of exclusion, unlike those with low wanted inclusion. While someone with high inclusion engagement is generally afraid of others getting excluded, since expression is only action based it’s possible to have high expressed inclusion and not fear others being excluded.
Expressed Inclusion (eI): "I initiate interaction with others"
Wanted Inclusion (wI): "I want to be Included"
Control
Control is tied to the fear of shame and failure. Someone who has a high want for control will have a strong fear of failure if they don’t take others advice, unlike those with low wanted control. While someone with high expressed control is generally afraid of others failing without their guidance, since expression is only action based it’s possible to have high expressed control and not fear others failing.
Expressed Control (eC): "I try to influence others"
Wanted Control (wC): "I want other’s influence"
Affection
Affection is tied to the fear of vulnerability. Someone who has a high want for affection will have a strong fear of being rejected emotionally, unlike those with low wanted affection. While someone with high expressed affection is generally afraid of rejecting others and hurting their feelings, since expression is only action based it’s possible to have high expressed affection and not fear the rejection of others.
Expressed Affection (eA): "I try to be close and personal"
Wanted Affection (wA): "I want others to be close and personal with me"
Finding your type
Since you get three FIRO types, you’ll first have to identify your expressed and wanted behavior in each category. I will use myself as an example.
- I have a medium expression of inclusion
- I have a high want for inclusion
- I have a medium expression of control
- I have a medium want for control
- I have a medium expression of affection
- I have a high want for affection
You can use the same sentence structure to type yourself.
Next you can just find your temperament in the chart above. I circled my temperament in each category as demonstrated here:
When it comes to blends, you can just pick which one makes more sense to you. Since I tend to relate a little more to sanguine inclusion and a little more to supine affection, that’s what I say my type is. Since FIRO goes in the order of Inclusion-Control-Affection my FIRO temperaments are Phlegmatic Sanguine - Phlegmatic - Phlegmatic Supine.
The abbreviations you may have seen on tiktok are just my personal solution to save space; it's not a part of the original theory at all. If you want to type out your FIRO in a quick and easy way you can just abbreviate the first two letters of each temperament, making my FIRO phsa-ph-phsu.
So that’s it! I hope this helps! If you’re interested in FIRO content and need extra help typing you can contact @intproblem on tiktok.
Works cited:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fundamental_interpersonal_relations_orientation