PORTABLE SUCCUBUS PROMOTIONAL COMB-O

Clinical infomercial for Portable Succubus and Under the Cameltoe Serum with live demonstration

Clinical demonstration and infomercial

PORTABLE SUCCUBUS 69000 and bonus “Under the Cameltoe Serum”

Voices: F, M, Announcer

Sound effects needed:

  • Glass bottle breaking or viscous liquid gush

Announcer: Hey you! Yes, the connoisseur of free audio porn! Introducing the Portable Succubus 69,0000. The ultimate answer in mechanically assisted masturbation, now in the Christmas edition! But just don’t take my word for it, we shall cut to a live demonstration!

F: *clinical* ....and here we have specimen number 69… How are you feeling, sir?

M: *muffled groans*

F: You’re currently experiencing the… *reads off chart* “Holiday Edition”. How does it compare to the original?

M: *muffled groans as he tries to form words but he can’t really*... *spontaneously yells out, IT’S SO MERRY*

F: Am I overdoing it sir? Want me to lower the intensity? Or change vibration modes? It’s currently following the rhythm of jingle balls… but I guess I can change it to something with a softer tempo… hm… let’s try “Baby it’s Hot Inside”

M: Ho ho ho! Release my Christmas spurt!

F: Sir, do you like the way it’s connected by bluetooth to my laptop here?

M: *moans*

F: Good. Now, I also have this serum, um... *reading a label* “Under the Cameltoe”. I’ve been told it’s very potent, so I’m using gloves to apply this all over -

Announcer: Order now, and receive the serum for free!

*Glass bottle breaking or viscous liquid gush*

F: Oh fruitcake *said as a curse*

M: Oh pudding, you got that all over my penis!

F: *flustered* It- well- it was SUPPOSED to go there, just not this… much! *half panicking* Oh Frosty...

M: [more maniac and aroused] HO HO HO! Do you want to sit on my lap?

F: What?

M: Sorry, I meant, would you want to STRADDLE santa’s lap?

F: Oh Immanuel, it’s everywhere. Sir? Sir, how are you feeling? *mutters to self while flipping through pages* Maybe if I turn up the sensitivity, things will wear off sooner.

M: Why won’t you sit on my Santa’s sleigh?

F: It’s not working…

M: Why don’t you let me fill your stocking with something better than coal?

F: That… actually might work… *big sigh and as if trying to justify to herself* for science!

F: *moans*

M: *moans*

F: ADDITIONAL SEX NOISES (10 sexonds)

F sexy phrases: (pick 2-3)

  • oh yess, give me that eggnog, sir
  • Stuff my turkey
  • Give me your pudding
  • Go deep down into my chimney! DEEPER
  • Give me your milk and cookies!
  • Mmm… oh Christmas! You’re so festive!
  • You are jingling my pair of bells! Yes *moans* jingle them harder!

M: ADDITIONAL SEX NOISES (10 sexonds)

M sexy phrases: (pick 2-3)

  • Let me give you my jack frost!
  • I will be your SCRROOOOOOOOGE
  • That’s right, be my Mrs. Clause! Take my candy cane!
  • Wrap my present allll up
  • MOUNT MY CHRISTMAS TREE

*sex sounds of M and F in background*

ANNOUNCER: This is a live and unedited live test! BUY THE PORTABLE SUCCUBUS SIXTY NINE THOUSAND, CHRISTMAS EDITION! With bonus ‘Under the Cameltoe’ serum! All for the low price of one soul!

*orgasms in background*

F: *loud orgasm squeal/scream* YES SSSAAAANNTTAAA. I’LL BE A GOOD GIRL

M: *groan or post orgasm* You’ll be sure to have a fappy new year now!