i should say this, since i’m here.
we met and had to leave the same city
again. little glance crackling
Standing, holding a navel orange
and the sky? sky. I didn’t know
you’d left due to
If you’d like to share
the underlying, unspeakable — the underlying
can have (does have?) has a grammar
i've touched (echo, echo) the bone
(and the sky? sky) underneath.
i want to tell you more
but what is it about red that is so delicious?
At five I knew red must be the first color.
Sure as desire, Dad’s migraines, the vomit.
At eight I folded myself in the prayer room.
I was lost to my parents for a long time.
I’ve not told you yet that I am lost at times
and only find more of myself.
I had a headache today
— the kind that makes all braids look ghastly—
and I stepped outside, lucky to have found
my way to beauty so quickly.
It was the right thing to be there. You
have been here before.
i wonder what you think —
i want you to know — half-drafts evaporated
by a trunk ringing out.
i don't believe in art that tries to be bodiless.
i'm scared of the balance between —
it would take another life to look
through all of these pictures—
my body brought me back
at two, my favourite colour
was my mother’s neck.
when i feel permanent, i poke the tank.
[I am a collection of urls]
[I am a tote bag
I am a silent mustard
rainjacket boy] collecting
oranges for you as I go.
you, geranium in our midst.
solstice, longest, you, sun.
i imagine you singing, drying
a dish in a deepyellow hallway.
an abundance of us!
here, still ringing. bell. after.
staying in a body that wears.
trips over clothes untouched
and time capsuled. they spin
and spiral up into the sky. i curl up
and into this clementine.
There are voices in my head,
there are, and many, and I see you
erasing what needs to be erased.
Sometimes, moving through
is a building
with infinite floors.
I know about enough.
We have this.
— this thing happens with art (by art I mean a lot, our whole life, I think)
— wherein all colour disappears. I disappear
— how much of me should I put into things
oh i love to walk anywhere where i am not —
i had to cut all the i's out —
— Objects don't remain what they are but morph into
translucent everything, i see the whys, pulling —
the shift is there after —
— Small shift on your shoulder
"Some things earn their calm by sitting next to each other”
“Splitting a sandwich.”
this bumping into you feels like the right direction —
— The rightest
i used to hope toward you —
— your name is already special to me
— I hope you don’t mind
now i get to write your name on my thumb —
— I chant it in two’s as I walk
How did you know I drank cloud-berry soda
i didn't know someone else had one thousand molars
all i want to do is name so i will —
— The first prayer must have been a name
Dear anEmememone, Emilie-emilie, my Emilie rem-em M L E, Dear EmilieEmilie-em dash Kneifel, nivi, dear nivi, dear nivretta (thatra, thatra), dear dear nivi, dear matchey, dear Steve,
my dear emilie
oh dear nivi