i should say this, since i’m here.

we met and had to leave the same city

again. little glance crackling

stripes.

Standing, holding a navel orange

and the sky? sky. I didn’t know

you’d left due to

If you’d like to share

citrus

the underlying, unspeakable — the underlying

can have (does have?) has a grammar

i've touched (echo, echo) the bone

(and the sky? sky) underneath.

i want to tell you more

but what is it about red that is so delicious?

At five I knew red must be the first color.

Sure as desire, Dad’s migraines, the vomit.

At eight I folded myself in the prayer room.

I was lost to my parents for a long time.

I’ve not told you yet that I am lost at times

and only find more of myself.

I had a headache today

 the kind that makes all braids look ghastly

and I stepped outside, lucky to have found

my way to beauty so quickly.

It was the right thing to be there. You

have been here before.

i wonder what you think

i want you to know  half-drafts evaporated

by a trunk ringing out.

i don't believe in art that tries to be bodiless.

i'm scared of the balance between —

it would take another life to look

through all of these pictures—

my body brought me back

to tomatoes.

at two, my favourite colour

was my mother’s neck.

when i feel permanent, i poke the tank.

scatter fish.

[I am a collection of urls]

[I am a tote bag

of chemicals

I am a silent mustard

rainjacket boy] collecting

oranges for you as I go.

you, geranium in our midst.

solstice, longest, you, sun.

i imagine you singing, drying

a dish in a deepyellow hallway.

an abundance of us!

IMG_8341.jpg

+

here, still ringing. bell. after.

staying in a body that wears.

trips over clothes untouched

and time capsuled. they spin

and spiral up into the sky. i curl up

and into this clementine.

There are voices in my head,

there are, and many, and I see you

erasing what needs to be erased.

Sometimes, moving through  

is a building

with infinite floors.

I know about enough.

We have this.

+

 this thing happens with art (by art I mean a lot, our whole life, I think)

 wherein all colour disappears. I disappear

 how much of me should I put into things

oh i love to walk anywhere where i am not

i had to cut all the i's out

— Objects don't remain what they are but morph into

translucent everything, i see the whys, pulling —

the shift is there after

Small shift on your shoulder

"Some things earn their calm by sitting next to each other”

“Splitting a sandwich.”

this bumping into you feels like the right direction

 The rightest

 ripest

rifest

                 i used to hope toward you                            

 your name is already special to me

         —  I hope you don’t mind

now i get to write your name on my thumb — 

                                      I chant it in two’s as I walk

How did you know I drank cloud-berry soda

i didn't know someone else had one thousand molars

all i want to do is name so i will —

                  The first prayer must have been a name

Dear anEmememone, Emilie-emilie, my Emilie rem-em M L E, Dear EmilieEmilie-em dash Kneifel, nivi, dear nivi, dear nivretta (thatra, thatra), dear dear nivi, dear matchey, dear Steve,

oh em

my dear emilie

my dear

oh dear nivi

emilie

my nivi

your name