You know, if a cockroach is found at home, that just means a nest of cockroaches will come out, just wait, your best days are behind you! @威神V_黄旭熙_LUCAS

I never thought that one day, I would come to this medium to expose to everyone the story of him and I. I can confirm that everything I say below, objectively and truthfully, the objective of this piece of writing is that hopefully everyone will see through his (affectionate, understanding) personality; actually he only treats fans as concubines, for two timing, private messaging, squandering the love of the fans.

He was my first puppy love bias, and I once was his fan. Before that explosive exposé from yesterday, afraid he would private message me, I stupidly felt like my knowing him was my uniqueness and good luck; in my eyes, he was always understanding, playful, a positive little sun, and was the emotional support for me to work hard at improving myself, I believe a lot of girls who follow celebrities think all this things like me. Until yesterday, I found out that I was just fast asleep, really this relationship was a tragic story of (me) being hurt by a jerk.

Since the start of summer of 2019 I started to follow my first celebrity, buying albums, going for fansigns, never missing any concert. Before his Beijing fansign on 2 December 2019, I would have “dress rehearsals” with my friends to think of what to say at the moment I met him at the fansign, even painstakingly revising the contents of the letters to him, again and again writing with meaning; and at that time my friends would tell me to write my Instagram username and Weibo username, saying one in ten-thousand chance he might have a look; at the start I was disbelieving that this wasn’t ever going to happen, because I felt in my heart that he was a creature on a higher level, out of reach. But surprisingly at dawn on 3 December, which was also the night of the fansign, I received private messages from his secret accounts on my Instagram and Weibo:

Is this you?

Yes

Do you want to sleep?

How can I sleep soundly!

Haha

My heart is about to jump out right now

Where are you?

Are you alone?

I think I’m going to have insomnia…

Can you send me your WeChat?

[Photo caption: His Instagram account]

[Photo caption: His previous Weibo profile page (t/n - like a Facebook wall)]

[Photo caption: His His current Weibo profile page has been cleared out]

At that time I was very pleasantly surprised, and then muddled (t/n - literally, ‘mong’); but at the same time I felt a sense of disappointment, because I always liked him only as a fan and idol relationship, and knew that private messaging with an idol was not professional for him, so at that moment I was hesitant; but honestly, girls always blindly like the facade and are filled with self confidence, especially when a idol drama storyline is happening to you, the lure of realising insane dreams outweighing reason. After he asked me to go to the hotel to meet him, the impression of him as the idol in my heart broke, but at the same time from this brokenness came out a more real person; and impossibly I could touch my idol and chat with him all night and hug, so there was no inkling that this was actually just a trap covered up with fresh flowers.

Can call?

It’s definitely me for real

Want or no?

😂😂😂😂😂

Can’t call, my sister is sleeping next to me, I have to go outside to call

Are we definitely calling?

No problem

Being with family is important

[OP caption: He asked me if I would go to Japan for day 2]

Do you want me to go?

[Sticker]

Yes

🤭🤭

But not really

If you put it this way, I might really go buy plane tickets right now

I’m just asking

[OP redacted]

Actually regardless! If you want! You come over to find me at the hotel right now

Around 3am that morning I got to the hotel, and the moment I saw him, it really felt like I was dreaming. From the start I was very nervous, because this was my first time biasing a celebrity and yet meeting that actual person, standing next to the bed not knowing what to do; he looked once around his room to look for liquor, but finding none, he confidently lay down and started to chat with me. He specifically told me that he receives a lot of letters at fansigns, but he only opened mine, because he had already noticed me at previous events, so he would hold onto all the things I gave him. I said this was my first time in such a situation so I couldn’t believe it was not a mistake, he responded that it was also the first time for him, I believed him.

After we chatted a lot about his recent stresses and matters, I asked him if he had private messaged any other fans before, he thought about it and said there was one, also from China, but because he didn’t find them good-looking, they only had a meal, chatted; he really liked chatting with these fans, because like this he could know how the fans were thinking, and after that there was no contact. I can only say that my eyes and heart were smothered with a layer of pork lard, and again I believed him. 

After chatting a while more, I asked if he wanted to rest before flying to Japan first thing in the morning, he said soon the groupmates next door would be getting up, packing up and heading to the airport; so he was prepared to not sleep, after which with emotion and passion - other than sex itself - we were intimate.

Before leaving, he told me not to tell anyone - even my best friends and family - about this happening, also bidding me to delete the previous chat messages, after which he suggested that next time we could regularly text or meet other than meeting him at the airport, I thought he was scared about airport safety, then he said it’s because every time he flies he’s tired and doesn’t feel like working, and never has an impression of fans who meet him at the airport (in looks), so this was not needed.

After that I went into the headspace of being in love, in hindsight liking someone is really blinding, especially when you like someone so unreachable and for so long has returned your big expressions of affection; you start to believe the cliche will prevail, that it’s simply an earth-shaking change, he is light he is electrifying, that miracles happen to girls who chase their biases, you are the luckiest girl in the world.

He said it was fate, I believed him;

He said out of everyone he could never forget me, I also believed him.

I simply stayed the most special thing in his world, I deeply believed our bond; now getting in contact with the other girls who were cheated by him, after waking I only feel like we were nothing but d*ck.

Yesterday, a whole day of fun seemed very happy

[Sticker caption: Cute]

Yes

Super fun

Saw that you bought a lot of things

Really want to go see you tomorrow

😂😂

How to meet

I also don’t know… I’ll go buy fansign tickets

Fansign fighting 🙆‍♀️🙆‍♀️

Don’t look at other pretty fans, okay

Because you already have one cute me

[Sticker]

Won’t

I’m not the type you think I am

😂

I really am not that sort

Hhh ok I know

Teasing you

My heart hurts, recently you haven’t had any good rest

Want to be by your side

😂😂😂

I saw

[Sticker]

Saw what

Very cute

..

Your instagram

Eventually at the Bangkok fanmeeting, we didn’t meet; my heart was very hurt, and upon telling him, we had a long phone call that night. We chatted a lot during the call, he told me about his predebut relationship, at the time he really liked his girlfriend who was a fellow trainee, but the girlfriend for some reason was let go by the company, and he got busy after debuting; so the girlfriend had depression, picked fights with him often, was suicidal, he felt like he couldn’t take care of her, so he suggested breaking up, and after that did not want to talk about relationships anymore. So even though he liked me, he didn’t have the energy to talk about relationships; when I heard this excuse I was very ready to understand and compromise, and felt that maybe it was because of the impulsiveness of the attraction; now looking back on the timeline constructed, it was not because he could not discuss relationships, but because he did not have the energy to chase so many girls, maybe someone should introduce him to a time management master to teach him.

😂😂

I’m back

Will call you when I’ve returned

😂😂😂 

I’m also back

Don’t think about bad things

!

Really

….

👌 Ok?

👌

😌

Ah, you shouldn’t chase me to go

Your decision

😂😂

[Sticker caption: Argh!]

Really

[Sticker]

[Call time 61:11]

Second time meeting was at Shenyang Skechers event, morning of 21 December 2019; at the time I originally prepared to see him in-person at the event, but in the end I couldn’t go because I had a fever at the hotel, and this time a friend informed me, he was also contacting another China fan. After the event, he came to find me at night.

But this hotel seems to have many fans

You can swipe the card to get to the 22nd floor directly

Okay

So come a bit later

I just woke up

Mm, you have something to eat first

Mm (t/n - literally “eung” equivalent in Mandarin)

Or go look for you now?

Forget it! Later it is

Mm later

Should I wash up

Room

Number

Please?

2202

But you have a fever

Is that okay?

No worries, it’s a lot better

Maybe just a bit frozen

Alright then

But I won’t be there so soon

I’ll explain when I get there

Okay

I’m coming up now

You open the door for me

Ok?

ok

[Photo caption:]

Weibo chat saving timestamp

Because I changed phones without the chatlogs, I could only find some of those that I previously saved as screenshots to confirm the timing.

This time too, we didn’t have protected sex; at that moment I asked him to put (a condom) on, he said nevermind. Maybe he wasn’t in good condition, so after it happened he told me that he hadn’t had sex in almost a year; and yet yet yet again I believed him, completely not considering that even in such a bad condition he would return that night to Seoul and unbelievably meet other women.

After we were intimate, I asked about the other fan, he directly admitted this was the China fan from before, they had a meal, and at the end as farewell expressed gratitude and simply hugged, and after that no further actions; he even showed me the Wechat history with the girl, I saw her affectionate messages, and could see that she sincerely liked him, but his replies were generic. At that moment despite feeling that it was bad of him to show me the chat history, because I liked him, I appreciated that he was trying to be transparent with me; it was just a one-sided interest from the girl.

He was afraid that girl would expose the story; I asked if he was afraid to lose fans, he said: regardless of having fans or losing them, the fear is that the company would see. I told him to pretend to change Weibo accounts, so as to not communicate with her again; he told me he was really very scared, smoking stick after stick without stopping, smoking an entire pack of cigarettes in about two hours; I kept comforting and advising him, now thinking back at I was at that moment being deceived while being helpful.

After that he told me that his itinerary was full, he would also get more and more popular, and at that time perhaps there would be no way to meet, and now was thinking perhaps to immunise me to other guys; then I joked that it’s no problem, when that time comes I’ll start chasing another male Hong Kong artist, and that made him annoyed; I said I really really liked this celebrity I chased before, and he replied: no problem, his girlfriend is my friend, we filmed a show and went to clean our ears together. We then talked about artists in his company, he said even though as a trainee he liked to come out and play a lot, he still felt artists like Kris Wu were very silly, feeling like they were just here to play, never practicing; even though I agreed with his opinion, pot calling the kettle black, you yourself did things that weren’t that great in any way, if he’s called Wu Stick then you should be called Huang Needle.

Especially when talking about he’s not fit to work out, because of his small head could easily look like a buff barbie, he brought up joining the show in Korea about becoming a soldier, because he felt that it was too exhausting, he pretending to have back pain to leave filming sooner; like this are you really worth the fans worry. He even complained about being in the Chinese variety that edited him like a big fool, he really didn’t like it, so kept hesitating about continuing the next season.

Also the ring I gave him previously, he continued to wear it; when I asked if he could send me something that I could keep, he said he couldn’t, and would never do something like that. After he also told me that during filming or shoots, he has to take this couple ring off due to styling,and I shouldn’t overthink; I said then I’ll give you many rings, you can switch between them, he said okay.

Other than this, he seems a very innocent-hearted boy, at least that’s what I felt then; he said he thinks in this life he’ll be able to go to the moon for a holiday, I asked “then you can bring me along right”, he smirked and said “I’ll think about it”, I said “then if I earn enough money to buy tickets, would you go with me”, he said “that can do”.

In summary, he can’t give to me, but I can give everything to him.

After that we chatted every other day, I would still go for each concert, local and overseas; basically every concert he would look for my seat and discreetly greet me; but thinking about it now perhaps I misunderstood, especially the Seoul concert, now I know, that concert he greeted discreetly not just me but 3 fans; I want to ask him, that day leaving the concert venue with his tired expression, couldn’t be because of greeting too many people in the audience, trying to find them?

Eventually when he left to tour overseas in February 2020, he asked me to be just friends (in the end I found this was his usual excuse); we had very little contact, the next time I saw him was this year, except laughably this year we bumped into each other at a resort; perhaps one way to put it is, we really had such a unique connection.

[Online article link]

Told you to be careful

Hahaha

Long time no see

Ok I got it

You came out to play?

At [redacted] right

With [redacted]

👍

Haha

How did you know?

[Caption 1:]

Regarding the timeline with overlaps between me and the friend (t/n: girl-friend /s) from yesterday’s exposé

[Caption 2:]

According to that friend’s timeline he left on 2 December, and 2 December night he met me

21 December after parting with me at dawn, 21 December evening he went with her to a hotel

[Caption 3:]

1 December / 2 December - I participated in two fansigns, which is how he consequently sent me a private message

[Caption 4:]

Shenyang plane and hotel records

I actually never imagined, his mental ability is so good as to switch between two girls to accompany him from morning to afternoon; either he’s usually super tired, or not pushing hard enough?

If not for the insane reports from other fans yesterday, I would still believe him. But in a sharp revelation of the truth, this trust made me even more hurt and laughable.

Anyway these two years I could contact him or quietly watch from afar, I worked very hard to match up to him, and endlessly made effort to improve myself; when I was dealing with difficult blows, or depressed, my expectations and affection for him was like a kind of strength to support me, but now with the reality in front of my eyes, my tinted lenses are finally being cleaned off with tears.

Originally believed because of him, but now I understand, perhaps he never thought this person (t/n - meaning OP) was important.

I remember he told me, his mother taught him from young to be caring and compassionate to girls, so he would treat every girl respectfully. But everything he did, not only stomped on the hearts that liked him but also played with them.

Does it click, jerks have one commonality, they all say they like understanding girls, because they always take advantage of girls’ understanding; this is good for brainwashing, controlling, hiding their cheating and lies.

Everyone should have responsibility and character, cheating and lying is just wrong, especially when idols are ultimately encouraging everyone, bringing positivity to the world with leadership and love.

Those who use girls as they like and carry on with lies, they don’t deserve to be liked.

I never thought the first time I chased a celebrity would lead to such an earth-shaking outcome; do I regret it? I sincerely and enthusiastically regret liking this sort of person.

But what I don’t regret is, in this process I got to know many understanding and sweet girls, they shine like pearls; what I don’t regret is, working hard to improve myself in the course of chasing, to not be too embarrassed when letting go of this relationship.

After this I won’t chase celebrities again, I’ll live well, I’ll be kind to his person.

Lastly, I hope that everyone reading this will be happy, hopefully every bit of your sincerity will never be disappointed.

Ps. I know for sure a lot of people will say “you are photoshop, you have no concrete evidence, you’re a liar”. I wish to respond that no normal girl who interacts with someone she genuinely likes, would conveniently prepare to secretly record or photograph; just that the trust I put in him was ultimately reversed as the knife he hurt me with. I take personal responsibility for everything I’ve said above, all being actual truth.

Other bonuses of your favourite him - using Weibo secret account to participate in popularity polls like these: