Why you, too, should date Aella

Context: I (Nate Soares) dated Aella for about 7 months. We’d been acquaintances for a handful of years beforehands, having long run in the same circles, but we had little chemistry. I scored stupidly high on her dating survey, which caused me to give her a second look. There are many ways in which we are in fact compatible, but some critical ways in which we aren’t. I expect us to remain friends, but we’re both now seeking other serious partners. Herein, I’ll extoll her virtues. If you’re interested, I recommend taking her dating survey or emailing her at aellasinbox@gmail.com.

Censorship note: This document was originally titled “My Ex is a Shit-eating Whore”, on account of how Aella has previously been a high-class escort and recently received a fecal transplant. Google censored the doc, presumably on the false assumption that anyone who publicizes a document with that title isn’t about to write nice things about their ex. Hopefully this version of the doc will fare better. Anyway, If you’re not into dating shit-eating whores (or at least fecal-transplant receiving escorts), Aella might not be the girl for you.

Ok, onto reasons to consider dating Aella:

Culture. Aella hails from the internet circa 2010, in a way that few women I’ve met do. She’s a scholar of the deep internet lore; she’s a member of the rationality community; she’s familiar with what ‘libertarian’ meant in the old days. Dating her feels a little bit like dating someone from my hometown. If you, too, hail more from the internet than you do from the town of your physical youth, you might also find comfort and familiarity there.
Intellect. Aella’s sharp. I’ve seen her exhibit the rare skill of learning something new at her own pace, while not pretending to understand more than she does. I have found her to be quite skilled at noticing her own discomfort and putting her finger on a subtle thing that’s bothering her. You can trust her to look out for herself, and remove herself from situations that would harm her before they do.
Self-acceptance. Many people in this day and age are struggling with their own nature one way or another. Aella, by contrast, strikes me as deeply at peace with herself, in a manner that’s tricky to describe. You don’t have to manage her ego. She’s not seeking validation from you. She knows who she is, and her internal gears aren’t grinding themselves to dust trying to resist herself. I find it refreshing.
Other-acceptance. There’s a skill of holding things you’ve been told are contradictory, despite the alleged contradiction. For example, it is in fact possible to feel both happiness and sadness at once. Aella has this skill in spades. Through it, she’s able to hold both the ugly and the nice parts of your personality at once, without mistaking you for ugly when the ugly ones are showing (and without mistaking you for nice when the nice ones are showing). I find this, too, refreshing.
Inquisitiveness. Aella is going to ask questions and seek answers, and social taboos be damned. There’s a simplicity to her, here, and an innocence to her in this regard. (This despite the allegations of malice.) Also she collects lots of rad data.
Social skill. She’s not stunningly charismatic by any means, but there’s a specific social skill she has in spades. She’s quite perceptive, and when she puts her mind to it she’s quite skilled at reading and understanding you without putting all her own baggage in the way. If you’re looking for a lover to know and be known by, she’s got a lot of skills going for her.
Playfulness. Aella has a type of unabashed access to her own emotions that I rarely see in adults. She’s stellar at having the emotions she's having, rather than trying to deny them on account of believing them to be foolish (Though, she might also have an emotion of embarrassment on account of the first emotion being foolish.). There's something quite freeing about her ability to own that she is distressed, and not stop feeling her distress until the distress has passed. She has a great capacity for joy and for sorrow. She has the skill of letting her emotions flow freely, without hindering them by a bunch of narratives or what-ifs or accusations. She’ll laugh, she’ll cry, she’ll wander the house joyfully singing a song about your balls. It’s rare, in my experience, to find someone so free and unburdened.
Sex. It can, in fact, be real good, if you and she happen to be compatible. My guess is that most people won’t be a great match, but for the rare people looking for the things she has, she’s top-notch.
And, of course, the je ne sais quoi.

Ultimately, she and I didn’t work out. The cultural gap between us was too large; the communication bandwidth was too low. While she has many wonderful properties, we did not have quite enough compatibility between us to make up for our differences. If you, dear reader, are more compatible with her than I was, then I strongly suspect you’ll notice even more lovely properties she has that I was not fortunate enough to encounter.