mmmilkweed

!! Hi, it’s Zaira, the creator of this document. You may have heard from Twitter that parts of this document were fabricated or exaggerated for my personal gain. That is not the case in the slightest. Please read the first section under “Response to Feedback” for a detailed explanation of how this rumor spread and what actually happened.

This document contains several mentions of sexual violence and child endangerment

Please remember that this doc is not accusing mmmilkweed of being a predator, groomer, pedophile, etc., and that the following screenshots are not sufficient evidence to prove such.

mmmilkweed (who will be referred to by Elijah from here on) is a 21 year old Cookie Run NSFW artist on Twitter (@ASlovenian) and Tumblr (@mmmilkweed), most popular for his ShadowVanilla comics. Controversy around his account had begun to circle as Twitter users pointed out his carelessness towards potential child endangerment regarding his discord server and questionable posts.

Contents

• Overview

• Elijah’s admission to having concerning kinks/fetishes

• List of server screenshots with sexual connotations

• Discord staff participation in sexual conversation
• Elijah’s participation in sexual conversation

• Elijah’s interactions with children outside of server

• Elijah’s 24 year old wife Sushi and her relations to 17 year old Discord server member

• Staff involvement

• Conclusion & anecdotes

• Response to Feedback

Overview

(those aware of the background behind Elijah’s three apologies can skip this section!)

The main concern of many had been Elijah’s discord server, named mmmilkweed nation, which had been opened for all ages on March 25th, 2025. However, one month later, users on Twitter grew concerned with Elijah for hosting an all age server while also running (and advertising said server on) an NSFW Twitter account. On May 1st, 2025, due to the backlash received, Elijah and his discord staff had kicked all members under 18 and the server has since then been 18+ with ID verification as a requirement for entry.¹ Elijah then posted his first public apology for causing concern.

        However, this apology was not enough to clear Elijah’s name. A day later, Twitter users exposed a strangely worded tweet² written by Elijah and his AU depicting a fictional romantic relationship between a professor and a former student. Elijah’s second apology addressed these two posts as poorly worded due to English being a second language and apologized for the confusion.

        Users on Twitter were not satisfied with Elijah’s explanation, arguing that poor English is not an excuse for the things he had said. The backlash prompted a third and currently final apology from Elijah, admitting his faults and announcing he is ashamed of and disgusted by his former tweets and general behavior. He also announced he would be taking an indefinite break from all social media until comfortable again. Avid supporters of Elijah argue that he is innocent and that accusations were blown out of proportion, while some are angered that Elijah admits in his third apology to not writing the first two, arguing that there is a high chance Elijah is not sincerely sorry and is simply attempting to save face.

        Fast forward to the present, Elijah is back from his break, which lasted a total of 10 days. Supporters are happy to see him back, but others believe he needs more time away from the internet before earning back their trust. Former server members came out to share their experiences which were never addressed in any of Elijah’s apologies. The most notable of their stories are sexual conversations had within the server, ones which children were exposed to and even engaged in. These conversations frequently involved server staff members and even Elijah himself. Users have also searched Elijah’s past posts to find a plethora of questionable and even predatory takes he had posted around February of 2025.

¹Current members were required to share their birthdate on a government-issued ID to regain access into the server. Server invites are currently closed.

²The tweet in question involved a sexual fantasy of a fictional adult spying on a fictional child having wet dreams.

Elijah’s Admission to Having Concerning Kinks/Fetishes

Many of Elijah’s ShadowVanilla comics have had individuals questioning if he may have a fetish for non-consensual sex (noncon) or rape. Supporters of Elijah argue that what his comics are actually depicting is known as overstimulation during sex, and that both parties are drawn as consenting. While it is unclear whether or not Elijah’s comics are depicting rape, the following post on his Tumblr confirms that it is in fact one of his kinks, along with slave/owner. See phrases marked in red underline below.

Elijah interprets and refers to one of his favorite fictional characters as a “sex pest.” Here is his definition of the term.

List of Server Screenshots with Sexual Connotations

Elijah claims in his first apology that all conversations in his server were kept SFW by his staff, and that sexual topics were strictly forbidden. However, several screenshots that contradict this statement have been shared by former server members below.

(Names will be covered to protect the identities of those involved)

Keep in mind the server has age roles (under 18yrs, 18-21yrs, 21+ yrs) visible to all members.

key for all censored users from here on:

(White = minor) (red = adult) (purple = moderator)

( ^ Note that the screenshots above are found in the no-mic channel, meaning the messages here are responding to conversations in a voice channel. The topic discussed in the voice channel is unknown, but can be assumed sexual given the context. )

Discord staff participation in sexual conversation

( ^ Note that the user sharing their Twitter account had the “under 18yrs” age role during their time in the server. The role had been visible to all members. )

Elijah’s participation in sexual conversation

Elijah’s Interactions with Children Outside of Server

Below are screenshots of a conversation between two former members of Elijah’s discord server. Both are children. One is a former NSFW artist who Elijah had followed back after seeing their NSFW art on Twitter. It is stated by the artist that their age was in their bio at this time. Keep in mind that conversations with Elijah outside of the server are strictly forbidden, as stated in the server rules.

It is vague whether or not Elijah was aware of this person’s age while talking to them. However, as said before, their age is said to be in their bio. Additionally, three former server members unanimously remember the person having the “under 18yrs” age role during their time in the server. Note that below is Elijah’s former opinion on minors interacting with sexual content before his first apology. All conversation with the minor happened before his first apology. Around the time of posting the apology, Elijah had silently unfollowed, but not blocked, the minor, without mentioning doing so in any apology.

The minor insists that they never conversed sexually with Elijah. They view Elijah and his wife, Sushi (although they have never talked directly), as parental figures.

( ^ Original Twitter post  is under Elijah’s alternate account. )

Elijah avoids using NSFW related hashtags when posting his NSFW art to Twitter because it does not attract enough views for his satisfaction. Note that Elijah had usually used “main tags” (hashtags used by the official Cookie Run Twitter accounts) on his NSFW art, which have more potential to gain the traction of children. Users are concerned that Elijah prioritizes traction on his posts, even if it means many of his viewers would be children as a result. This concern is amplified by the screenshot directly above.

Elijah’s 24 year old wife Sushi and her relations to 17 year old Discord server member

Hi, it’s me, Zaira. I need to apologize for what I have done.

As I am writing this, it is January 18th of 2026. It has been nearly a year now since the Milkweed server had been opened to all ages above 13. I joined the day it was opened to the public and I vaguely remember a 17 year old member joining, who will be referred to as A. Sushi and A got along very well, and would bond over media beyond Cookie Run, for example R.E.P.O, which they would play frequently. A got her own server role named after her and her love for Candy Apple Cookie. The server always considered her “nepo baby.” They would call me and others “nepo baby” for our roles too, but A was the closest to Sushi and the others.

When Sushi and Elijah had to kick everyone under 18 out, that of course included A. Sushi was devastated. They used server commands to automatically kick the hundreds of children in the server, but, along with me and one other “nepo baby,” A was kicked last. Sushi still wanted to talk to A, so she joined a server that was filled with all of the child server members who were kicked. There, she could talk to me and A without judgement. We watched My Little Pony on a call the night we were kicked from the Milkweed server. Later that night, Sushi had left the server because the owners asked that she did for being an adult.

But it was okay, because soon, in September of 2025, A would turn 18 and would be invited back into the Milkweed server the day of her birthday. Of course, I don’t know what happened with A and Sushi in that server, because I am still not 18.

I am guilty. I am sorry for not putting this information in the document when it was first released. I knew about A the whole time. I thought it was weird at first, but they made me think it was normal. I didn’t say anything because I wasn’t sure if it was a bad thing. I thought A was lucky to get to play games with Sushi. I still am not sure if it really is a predatory situation, I really don’t know. I don’t know where the line is drawn because people keep telling me different things; no one can agree if the things Elijah did make him a predator. So I assumed informing people about Sushi and A’s relationship would be too far.

Now, the story is resurfacing, so I find it necessary to include this short anecdote as a witness to the development of Sushi and A’s relationship within the server. I wish I said something sooner, and maybe things would have gone differently, but I liked Sushi too much to say anything back then. The only thing I can do is say something now.

Unfortunately, I don’t have concrete proof in the form of screenshots to prove my word, however there are several former members of the Milkweed server that have been coming out to confirm there was something strange going on between A and Sushi. It has also been said that Sushi and A drank together in a voice call, but there is no proof to back such a claim, and I have no knowledge of this alleged event as I am writing this.

Again, I am sorry. If anyone reading this has evidence of Sushi and A’s relationship, please request to send me a direct message, and I can add it to this document.

Staff Involvement

Explanations of Elijah's sexual messages in the server, written by staff and sent to questioning members, are shown below.

( ^ current staff member )

( ^ former staff member )

Conclusion & Anecdotes

The purpose of sharing this information to the public is solely for outsiders to form an opinion on Elijah and the controversial things he has done based on factual information which has so far gone unaddressed. In no way should the screenshots above warrant harassment towards any person involved.

Anecdotes

“Hi. My name’s Zaira. I am 16 years old. I joined Elijah’s server the day it was opened, because I love ShadowVanilla. I talked a lot. I also shared my art, which Sushi, Elijah’s wife, liked a lot. I got a special server role for it too! I called her mama because she liked the name. She shared “dinners” in her channel everyday which the other members and I would pretend to eat like we were her children. Elijah was papa. It was fun.

Elijah was pretty inactive in the server, but usually when he popped in it was to say strange things, like the screenshots shared. There was a channel called “milkweed-discussion” where people would talk about Elijah’s art. Most of the time it was about his porn. The mods talked in there all the time; they were strange. I think that they moderated what children could say more than what they could read or hear. I don’t think they liked me all that much, or any of the kids for that matter. So why did they talk sexually around us? I don’t understand why, and I don’t think I ever will.

I think that if this whole server thing went on for longer, real children would have been hurt. I worry for the kid who had been talking to Elijah, the one I “interviewed.” Their answers were vague. I didn’t do a good job. Really, many will find the screenshots I shared to be tame, I think. I can see that, but it’s more about the potential of this server growing more and more lenient towards sexual discussion, if time had allowed. Elijah has a pattern of strange, potentially predatory behaviors, as shown in all the screenshots, that people need to recognize.

I wrote this whole doc. To get these hidden pieces of the puzzle out there. I just wish people cared. Thank you to the few people who do, to the people who read this whole thing. Sometimes I miss the server. But I need to move on. I wanna forget this all. I wanna feel happy again, without this lingering in the back of my mind. I hope posting this will help me with that.”

“my name is nicolas. i’m 18, and i’m someone who has recently tried to become active in the crk fandom on twitter. this was what made me join milkweed’s server; i joined somewhat late, but i tried to be as active as possible in an effort to make more art mutuals and friends because i have yet to actually post much art.

at first, i believed the server was totally sfw. people were friendly, i did make a good handful of acquaintances, but there were many underlying issues that i didnt think of simply because the mods and rules allowed it.

weed and alcohol was frequently talked about and sometimes encouraged, as the rules allowed anything but hard drugs to be mentioned. the biggest example of this may be milkweed’s running joke about jager, although there are worse examples i do not have the means to find. children, when asking for something to draw, were met with things such as ‘mpreg’ and ‘soulplay’. the milkweed discussion channel openly allowed talk of nsfw works. one of the most notable accounts to me is his affocacao art, where i myself hyped it up in chat with a handful of others. this went on as we begged in chat for more art, and one of the moderators who i directly spoke to during this discussion, did not bat an eye. trivial things would be nitpicked and given warnings for, such as a running joke where we had ‘organling’ names, another joke along the lines of telling someone ‘dont find bugs in your bed’, members being warned for minimodding when telling others not to be inappropriate, and several other small things.

and yet, as much as milkweed praises his team, the most important matters went unnoticed. again, mods themselves EAGERLY spoke about his nsfw art. i never joined vc myself, but i know a child who did join and had to tell the others in it not to be sexual. the no-mic screenshots above are proof of how unmoderated vcs went, and the only accounts we have of this now is those messages.

i remained in the server after the 18+ rule so that i could provide more context and proof to these allegations. so that, instead of spreading rumors, i might uncover what was genuine and what was not. many of these screenshots were provided by me, and i am sorry i could not continue to provide you all proof, as i have been unjustly banned from the server after staying for ‘malicious reasons’.”

Response to Feedback

Several questions and concerns arose when I first created this document. After months of gaining clarity of the situation and talking to the adults in my life like my parents and my therapist, I feel I am in the proper position to clear some rumors and claims surrounding the document.

“You attempted to fabricate screenshots to use as evidence against Elijah.”

        No, I did not. I am still annoyed by how easily that rumor spread with such inadequate ‘proof.’ Here is the whole story.

        A few days after everything happened, my friend Nicolas and I planned to write a document explaining all of Milkweed’s allegations, as we knew it would be the right thing to do. However, we felt we needed help, as we were only two people. We gathered two other people we met on Twitter to help us. Then, another person, who will be referred to as C, requested to join us, to which we accepted.

        Personally, I had several concerns with how C was handling the document, as they were adding unnecessary screenshots of things that made them feel mildly annoyed, which would distract from the important aspects of the doc. This was manageable, and I spoke with C to make sure the document was as concise as possible.

        What was not manageable was when C suggested we create a fake account disguised as a mutual friend to coax a minor server member into confessing that they had inappropriate relations with Elijah. This was the same member I had an “interview” with in the screenshots earlier presented in this doc. I admit I did not do a good job at “interviewing” them, but I have to give myself credit as it was a stressful situation and to be frank, this server member was giving me an insanely difficult time with how vague and cagey their answers to my questions were. However, I was certainly not desperate enough to fabricate a fake profile just to fish out information from this person like C was.

        At this point, Nicolas and I had decided it was time to break away from this group as they were quite incompetent and careless. We created our own document separate from C and the others, which is the very one you are reading right now. I am not sure if C’s plan of coaxing that server member was ever executed, but I will say that whatever they were doing is something I absolutely do not agree with. In fact, I was confused at first with what they were suggesting and passively let them do whatever they wanted as I didn’t understand what exactly they were saying, which was a mistake on my part. I should have pressed them for a better explanation and told them not to create that fake profile, but I, along with everyone else in that group, did not.

        So, yes, every single screenshot in this document is from real conversations either on Twitter, on Tumblr, in the Milkweed server, or in direct messages. Nothing is edited or fabricated to prove a point. Please, do not use the fabrication rumor as an excuse to discredit this document, and please do not spread such rumors when you don’t know the full story.

“You were parasocial towards Elijah’s wife, Sushi.”

Back when I first released this document, there were several people mentioning I was “parasocial” towards Sushi. Frankly, I don’t see how I fit the definition. I never assumed Sushi and I were close friends simply because I had that special role in the discord server, or that we ever knew each other at a personal level. I simply knew it was possible to become her friend even as young as I am, based on the fact that A and I were close in age.

Later after I was kicked from the Milkweed server, I sent Sushi a friend request, and she accepted it, saying it was okay for me to talk to her casually and send her some of my art through direct messages. I did that, but I admit I may have gone overboard, as I sent her four different one-sentence messages back to back about random things I did during the day, like school work and what I ate for breakfast. Sushi entertained it at first, and was glad to see the art I sent her. She blocked me later, and I felt bad for possibly disturbing her, but now I am not so sure. Perhaps I dodged a bullet by being so overbearing that I destroyed any possibility of becoming closer to Sushi and ending up in the same position as A.

To be clear, I did not have delusions that I was close friends with Sushi, I just wanted to become her friend the same way A did, because I honestly missed the Milkweed server. That is all.

“The ‘inappropriate’ conversations held in the Milkweed server are normal, as teenagers are hormonal.”

        I am going to be blunt and say this is an awful excuse. Yes, teenagers are obviously going to make excessively sexual jokes due to hormonal imbalance. I never argued against that. However, the concern is not that teens are making these jokes, but that fully grown adults are engaging with them. That is not normal.

Under my post sharing this document, someone had commented last year saying something along the lines of how screenshots in this doc are nowhere near as bad as the things said in their high school classrooms. Of course there are worse things said by teenagers. The flaw in your argument is that you’re implying the teachers and other adult staff participate in these conversations, when they absolutely should not.

Do not twist the story and claim teenagers and adults were having these exchanges with their respective age groups, as that is not the case. The age ranges were mixed and consisted of both minors and adults, casually engaging in sexual conversation.

“This won’t matter in a few years or so.”

For you it won’t. I wish I could say the same for myself.

I am still in therapy and recovering. When I first told the story to my therapist, I did my best to not seem like I was exaggerating the story like everyone on Twitter told me I was, and I tried my best to give Elijah and Sushi the benefit of the doubt with my word choice. I really undermined the situation when I explained it. My therapist still informed me that what I experienced was apparently traumatic. I still don’t know if that word applies to my experience, but it easily could to the people who were potentially groomed because of the negligence present in the Milkweed server.