Hi Hashers,
We had a great Trail (#639) yesterday and a fun On After pool party and bar-b-q with our hosts......Muffburger In Paradise and Fowl Finger......it was so much fun that even baby Glorianna refused to go to sleep at her designated time. Trail 639 was laid by Fowl Finger and his Trainee....Whore Corp. With around 20 Hounds we Hashed through a premier northeast neighborhood which caused many locals to become nervous about our intentions......well we weren’t on bikes wearing white shirts and black slacks, so we weren’t Mormons or those Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints bicycle gang....or whatever they are. We weren’t canvassing for “I will not run for Senator again” Jim Demint’s campaign, and we weren’t spreading marketing flyers for landscaping, insect killers, or roofing and drive way upgrades. No.......we were Hashers, Hashing as fast as we could to get out of this socially constructed pristine neighborhood to get to the Shiggy and beer. Which we did, thanks to the Hares who had a method to their madness and we discovered un-Hashed Trails along I-20 which were great for us, including an obligatory fence climbing.....which even the half-crippled, fat-ass RA got over without leaving the family jewels hung there as a memorial. It was truly an awesome Trail and we thank the Hares for their efforts, even if the Trail chalk mark arrows looked a lot like Trail pre-laid chalk mark arrows.
With all Hounds in we celebrated a shorter Circle than usual because Antique Gun Show was not able to read the Hash Song Sheet and keep us on task. We had a Virgin, several Backsliders, including the Backslider Prom Queen and Designated Bridesmaid....Mama De Trois, and representatives from our Little Sister Hash....Secession H3. We welcomed back the Grand Master....Finger Me....after his annual two-week Homeless Trek to the Low Country. He always comes back with a better tan than all the other HoBos and homeless guys that ride the rails this time of year, plus his new Hash Jorts are now broken in.
At the On After we enjoyed a refreshing dip in the pool, just after we noticed Nantucket smiling and standing still in the pool as if had just found the relief he was searching for. We never take our frustration out on him because he always brings something good to share with the Hounds....this time rosemary potatoes! Yum Yum! Another fine pot luck dish was No Name Beonka’s broccoli salad with raisons, pecans, and some tasty sauce....I must get this recipe so Nantucket can make it for us next time. We had assorted sausages.....most of them Hashers relaxing by the pool........and some tasty sausages on the grill, with grilled buns and all the condiments we needed.........and for desert there was assorted beers and brownies! On On! Late arrival Hash party goers were Abusement Park, 250 CC, and Veggie Tail with her daughter......On On to them for coming out to be with us.
Hash Thoughts of the Week: The RA’s Annual Top Ten Reasons He Loves/Hates His Adopted City of Columbia, SC
10. Where else can thousands of people drive drunk after a Gamecock football game and the police direct traffic for them.
9. Where else can you find homeless people with better tans and more expensive sneakers than most Hashers, excluding the Grand Master.
8. Where else are there more lawyers per capita than any other city in the southeast and a whole university full of them in training waiting their turn to practice the Noble Profession.
7. Where else are there this many churches, some small, some large, and some Mega-Humongous, while all the ABC liquor stores are the same size.
6. Where else can you find three rivers that intersect in a metropolitan city, and each one attempts to out perform the other two in the size and frequency of sewage spills they take in.
5. Where else can you find people that pride themselves on being friendly and helpful, with a dose of southern charm, and remain so, as long as YOU, a YANKEE, or OUT OF STATE TRANSPLANT don’t want their job, don’t live in their neighborhood, you are either a Gamecock or Tiger fan, predominantly republican, you profess to be a Christian, and you worship the South Carolina social trinity.........football, Camden horse races twice a year, and the obligatory Lake Murray outings and August beach family vacations.
4. Where else can you find a Governor of Indian ethnicity, residing in a mansion, who proclaims herself to be white, is an accountant with questionable skills and resume, and believes her life story is something others will want to read in a autobiography.
3. Where else can you find drivers behind the steering wheel of a fast moving vehicle, both luxury or rust bucket piece of shit......smoking, texting and talking on cell phones, with a an expired license plate, smashing down on the gas pedal when they see a yellow light from 300 meters, unable to locate and use turn signals, can’t/won’t slow down for pedestrians (which are normally jay walkers), and the majority have either a Christian themed bumper sticker, USC or Clemson sticker with window flags flying , and either a Rebel flag, gun rights, anti-abortion, or anti-Obama bumper sticker.
2. Where else can you go to the State Fair and people watch and come away feeling pretty damn good about your situation and location in life.
and finally.......
1. Where else can you get a southern lunch of a “meat and three” plate? Answer: No.......not the country fried steak and three veggies.............I mean a steak dinner and three strippers from 11:00 A.M. to 1:00 P.M.
I hope everyone has a fun and safe Labor Day Holiday. Our next Hash is Trail #640, which will be the September Full Moon Trail next Monday September the 12th. Details forthcoming.
On On! Bashful, Columbian H3 Religious Advisor