INT. ANTIQUES SHOP (DAY)

               TWO THIEVES, JEFF and TONY, are wearing all black as they run

               past the glass storefront of and though the door of the

               antique shop, frightening LITTLE OLD LADY MARTHA at the

               register.

               Jeff slams his hands on the counter as Martha screams

               cartoonishly.

                                   JEFF

                         Give us the money!

                                   MARTHA

                         Ah!

                                   TONY

                         The cash!

                                   MARTHA

                         Ahh!

                                   JEFF

                         The dough!

                                   MARTHA

                         Ahh!

                                   JEFF

                         Or we'll beat ya head in!

                                   TONY

                         Or we'll beat ya head in!

                                   MARTHA (CONT'D)

                         AHHHHHHHHH! SOMEBODY HELP!

                                   TONY

                         There ain't no one here to help ya,

                         babe.

                                   JEFF

                         That's for sure!

                                   ??? (O.S.)

                         THAT'S WHERE YOU'RE WRONG, VILLAIN!

                                   JEFF

                         Oh no!

                                   TONY

                         Oh no!

               A slow, dragging version (think half-speed) of the 60's

               Batman theme song starts to play. Looking out the glass

               storefront/window, we slowly see the tip of a motorcycle pop

               out. This motorcycle, and its sidecar, are clearly struggling

               to move - and you know why that is, kids: because it's (duh

               nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh) FATMAN!

               EXT. ANTIQUES SHOP (DAY)

               Fatman, our cloaked hero, and his sidekick Baskin Robbins,

               slowly pull the motorcycle and sidecar up to the curb.

                                   FATMAN

                         Brace yourself, Robbins - we're

                         going in!

                                   ROBBINS

                         Will do, sir!

               Fatman and Robbins struggle, loudly, to lift themselves off

               and out of the vehicle.

               INT. ANTIQUES SHOP (DAY)

               Jeff, Tony, and Martha are breathlessly watching Fatman and

               Robbins struggle, and can hear them, muted, through the

               glass.

               EXT. ANTIQUES SHOP (DAY)

               Fatman and Robbins finally get out of the vehicle and plod

               their way to the door. First, they both try to get in the

               door and fail, then Robbins tries to walk straight in the

               door and fails.

                                   FATMAN

                         My dear Robbins, it looks like it

                         might be time for some lateral

                         thinking!

                                   ROBBINS

                             (turning himself sideways

                              to fit in the door)

                         Like this?

                                   FATMAN

                         Pre-cisely, Robbins!

               Robbins CHEERS as he passes through the door.

               CLOSE-UP ON MARTHA

                                   MARTHA

                         Oh dear.

               WIDE

                                   FATMAN

                             (squishing through door

                              sideways)

                         Madam, your champions... have

                         arrived.

               CLOSE-UP ON ROBBINS

                                   ROBBINS

                         WATCH OUT, FATMAN!

               NARROW SHOT ON JEFF AND TONY

               Jeff and Tony look at each other and shrug, before the camera

               pans over to Fatman to show that he was just inches away from

               knocking over a vase with his tremendous paunch.

               WIDE

                                   FATMAN

                         That's some quick thinking,

                         Robbins. Now, to halt these

                         nefarious scoundrels!

               Jeff and Tony laugh.

                                   TONY

                         And how are you going to do that?

               CLOSE-UP ON ROBBINS

                                   ROBBINS

                             (raising fist)

                         BY DELIVERING 31 ORIGINAL FLAVORS

                         OF PAIN!

               WIDE

               Robbins aggressively wobbles and tiptoes around display

               shelves towards Jeff and Tony.

                                   JEFF

                         Grab the money, let's run!

               Tony jams the spare change button on the cash register, and

               it opens. He grabs a pile of twenties, and they take a

               circuitous route towards the back of the store, across, and

               then to the front, so they can avoid Baskin Robbins, who

               slowly and carefully turns to watch them as they do it (still

               aggressively trying to chase them).

               As they run up to Fatman, they tuck their heads in so they

               can ram him out of the way. It works, and he's knocked onto

               the sidewalk as they make away with the spoils.

                                   ROBBINS

                         FATMAN!!!

               Robbins slowly makes his way out onto the sidewalk, where

               Fatman is still down.

                                   FATMAN

                         Robbins

                                   ROBBINS

                         Yes?

                                   FATMAN

                         I thought I was a goner, there.

                                   ROBBINS

                         Really?

                                   FATMAN

                         I swear by the crispiness of

                         McDonald's fries - I thought I

                         would never get unstuck from that

                         door!

                                   ROBBINS

                         I guess those guys did you a favor,

                         then.

                                   FATMAN

                         I guess they did.

                                   FATMAN (CONT'D)

                             (yelling into the store)

                         Miss?

               Martha comes out.

                                   FATMAN (CONT'D)

                         How much did they steal from you?

                         $500 dollars? Here's $500 dollars.

                                   MARTHA

                         They only took -

                                   FATMAN

                         I am willing to bequeath thee

                         another... cool 500, if you would

                         simply, just - if you could inform

                         me and my compatriot here where the

                         closest White Castle would be.

                                   MARTHA

                         Down three lights, take a left.

                         It'll be on your right.

                                   FATMAN

                         Many thanks.

               Fatman hands her the money, and Martha, while very thankful,

               is weirded out and disturbed enough that she just goes back

               inside.

               Fatman and Robbins grin as Robbins tries to help Fatman get

               off the ground.

               Fatman struggles.

               Fatman farts and

               BLACKOUT