Pad See-Ew

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Makes one serving

Vegetable oil

8 ounces of flat rice noodles

One large egg

2 tablespoons of sweet dark soy sauce

A mixture of 2 tablespoons oyster sauce, 2 teaspoons light soy sauce, 2 teaspoons sugar, 2 teaspoons white vinegar, and 1 medium clove of garlic (peeled and minced)

4 ounces sliced meat of choice, marinated in light soy sauce and a teaspoon of baking soda

One and one half cups of Kai-Lan or broccoli florets, loosely packed

Then follow the procedure shown in the video. (If you use the soft, springy, superior fresh rice noodles that are available almost exclusively in Southeast Asia, skip the blanching; you don't need that. Blanching is recommended only for the thick, doughy flat rice noodles which account for -- oh, I don't know -- 99% of the US market.)

If you don't have a high-BTU gas range, don't try to shake the pan and flip the noodles around as shown in the video. Turn up the heat to the highest setting and let the sweet soy sauce-drenched noodles sit until you can smell that something is just starting to get too browned. Before the fire alarm goes off, give the noodles a stir. Add the meat, then the vegetable, wilt it quickly, and you're done.