May 12, 1995- July 16, 2010

Dear Sweet Cosmo,

I love you so much.

You came to me, with your brother Danger, in late May of 1995. Your daddy needed someone to keep you both for a few months, while he tried to find a place where you could all live. He couldn’t find a place, and then I told him I wanted to keep you both.

You two drove me NUTS! I didn’t get a full night of sleep for years, b/c you two would play and play and play. Chase each other all over the apartment, running over my body and my face in bed. I remember how you both loved to chase the bird feather wand. You would jump and leap so high! I remember how you liked to sit on laps all the time. I remember catching you red “handed” with your head in MY popcorn bag. But you hated when there were loud noises in the hall, and you left many marks on my thighs from the times you got scared. Back then, my nickname for you was “scaredy cat,” since neither you nor Danger responded to your names.

I remember all the times when I was reading in bed, and you were stretched out on top of the tall slim bookshelf. I ESPECIALLY remember when you had the bookshelf come crashing down, b/c you decided to stretch out and you pushed against the ceiling.

When I decided to move to Denver, I remember how scared you were the whole drive out. I remember how you slept under the covers with me in all the hotel rooms. I remember laughing b/c you would run across my mom and dad’s heads in the middle of the night in the hotels before setting to sleep in my bed.

I remember how you liked to sit on the balcony with me, when I would sunbathe. I remember how you always came to bed with me. I remember how you liked to sit at the computer desk with me, and you would lie out on my lap and push your back legs against the underside of the desk. I remember how I found out that all those belly scritches were making you happier than maybe I wanted you to be.

I’m sorry I made you move out to Boston. I’m sorry that the first apartment was so sketchy that someone broke in. I was so worried that you might’ve run away! But no, I found you smooshed into the teenies tiniest corner in the closet, waiting for me to come home. I’m sorry that I went away for so long, and you were in pain and stopped eating and got so sick. But we got through that, didn’t we? You fought at the vet hospital, I visited you twice every day, and then you came home with me. You let me tube feed you, clean your behind when it got dirty, and put all sorts of meds in you. You let me poke your ear countless numbers of times, poke you in the side with insulin, and you didn’t complain (too much) when I changed your diet to low carb, even though you love your carbs (like your mommy!). You slowly got better, and I knew you’d be ok when I saw your antennae bouncing up and down next to the bed b/c you wanted to sleep with ME and NOT on the floor next to the bed. You got so used to going to the vet that you started roaming around in the car, looking out the windows on the way home. You got so much better, you didn’t need insulin anymore! Ok, so you got diagnosed with a heart murmur and kidney disease. Your new nickname became “lemon kitty.” You let me give you SQ fluids every day, and even learned to jump up on my lap when it was time. You purred every time. And begged me for your bonito flakes after. You FINALLY learned your name! I loved being able to call out “Cosmo?” and hearing your sweet meow. I hated that you had to have pancreatitis, and how painful it was for you. I was glad that the flares were usually short and you always let me know you were better.

I’m sorry it took me so long to make the decision to get that thing out of your head. I hope you didn’t mind being a dashing, pirate kitty like General Noisy. Everyone thought you looked so handsome. And you were. You recovered so fast! You wanted to be up and at ‘em. You jumped when I thought you shouldn’t, and you figured out how to get around with just the one eye just fine.

I loved how you worked so hard at giving me a stylish new hairdo all the time. I don’t know how many times you woke me up by chewing on my hair, trying to give me bangs. I loved how you would snuggle under the covers with me, insisting on curling up against my side so that your head was either propped up on my chest or with your head resting on my upper arm. I loved how you would lie on my chest when I read in bed, giving me and my book headbutts to remind me that you were there. I loved how when I asked you for kisses, you would lower your head and present your royal pate for kissies. I loved how your little head smelled. I loved how you would lick your brother’s head when I would catch you being naughty, as if you weren’t doing anything wrong. I loved how you let me file your nails. I loved how you would sit in the baby sling and stick out your paw to rest on my forearm. I loved loved LOVED how you always had to be touching the mommy. Must. Touch. The. Mommy. I even loved how impossible you were to pill. I loved how easily you would purr. Just sitting next to me, you would be purring. You even purred at the vet, and Dr B had a hard time listening to your heart murmur. I loved how when I carried you around, you would try to nibble on my hair if it was down. I loved how you loved to roam around the house when I let you downstairs. I loved how much you loved food. I could always count on having company for midnight snackies. I loved how much you loved me.

I loved how much you trusted me. Even today, you just rested in my lap and let me love you.

I love you. So very much. I know you know how much I love you. And I know you love me too. I will always miss you. I will always love you. I will always be with you. You will always be my sweetest baby.

Love

Your mommy.