Character Questionnaire

Below is a list of questions directed at your character. Please answer questions 1-5 as directed. Then, for every 7 of the remaining questions (questions 6-26) that you answer, you will receive 1 drama point, for a possible total of 3 drama points before we even start! (It’s not necessary to do them in order. You can choose any 7 or any 14 to get credit. Obviously, answering all 21 gets you 3 points.) For each question, a paragraph or so is fine, though your responses do not need to be in paragraph form. (Lists or partial sentences are perfectly acceptable.) Most importantly, enjoy yourself when answering these. We don’t want it to be work; we want it to be fun! So you’d better have fun... *shakes fist* These are due back at the end of class.

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1. In no more than a couple of paragraphs (unless particularly inclined to over achieve), please provide a personal history. Feel free to include any and all information that you think would be pertinent, unique, or just plain interesting.

2. Describe your physical appearance. Is there anything unusual about the way you look? How have people reacted to your outward image? Do babies burst into tears and uncontrollable vomiting? Do members of the opposite sex drop to their knees and worship you?

3. Why do you adventure? Fame? Wealth? A need to get away from your nagging in-laws?

4. What are your goals? Fame? Wealth? Getting away from your nagging in-laws?

5. A trolley is running out of control down a track. In its path are five peasants who have been tied to the track by a mad sorcerer. You are on a bridge under which the trolley will pass, and you can stop the careening vehicle by dropping a heavy weight on the tracks in front of the car. Conveniently, there is a very fat dwarf next to you, and he happens to qualify as a “heavy weight.” He looks to be your only way to stop the trolley. Push him over the bridge and onto the track, and you will kill him instantly, but you will also stop the trolley and save the five peasants tied to the track. Let him continue to stand beside you on the bridge, and the five peasants below will get their faces smushed to bits. What do you do?

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6. What are your attitudes and beliefs towards the gods? How about your patron god(s)? If you have no patron god(s), why are you such a heathen?

7. What are your feelings towards other races? What are your favorite and least favorite races? (Let’s stick with imaginary DnD races, please.)

8. What is or has been the greatest obstacle in your life? Why do you suppose that is?

9. Where is your favorite place? (Note: “All up in yo’ grill!” is not a valid answer.)

10. What is your greatest fear? Is fear itself really all that big a deal?

11. What makes you do a happy dance (or, you know, just makes you happy)?

12. If you were a politician, what would your platform be? (Note: “VOTE NADER!” is not a valid answer.)

13. If you could change one thing about the world, what would it be? Come on; put on your benevolent dictator hat. Seriously. Don’t be scared. The world will thank you.

14. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? (If you went with the whole “I make babies vomit” thing in question 2, that might be a good place to start.)

15. How are your powers different from other members of the same class? Do they look different? Feel different? Smell different (much to the chagrin of your companions)?

16. What is your most valuable possession? (Note: “My slaves,” is not a valid answer.)

17. What would you do if you found out that someone had stolen something valuable from you? What if it was a friend that was the culprit?

18. What is your experience with romantic relationships? In other words, how sexy are your sexy times?

19. Do you know (or know of) any of the other PCs? How? Did you meet in prison? Were you bunk-mates? OMG, was one of you the other one’s bitch?! That’s messed up, man. Real messed up.

20. What is your connection with your weapon or implement? (Note: “My hand,” is not a valid answer.)

21. Do you have an accurate view of yourself? Are you super-emo with low self esteem? Are you a crazy, raving narcissist *coughlikeChadcough* ? Explain.

22. What is the best way to accomplish one’s goals? Is it slaying everyone that gets in your way? Getting freaky with all the races? Vomiting back onto the babies vomiting on you? Why?

23. What is your attitude towards work? Do you have a membership card to Workaholics Anonymous (because you love workahol)? Or are you a soldier in the Procrastination Nation?

24. Describe your perfect vacation. (Note: “Slaughtering innocents,” is not a valid answer.)

25. What is your attitude towards the expansion of civilization into natural areas? Do you favor development or conservation? “Drill, baby, drill!” or “I brake for whales!”?

26. What was your occupation before taking up adventuring? Why? Were you successful at it? Did you get fired after flipping off your boss when he kept demanding that you wear more pieces of flare, even though you were wearing the requisite fifteen? I mean, come on! If you want more flare, just make it a rule that I have to wear more flare!

That concludes this portion of the test. Please collect your belongings and silently turn in your paper at the front of the class. You can expect to receive your scores in the next 6 to 8 business months.