Welcome to the Harvey quotes. This is a collection of quotes said by the awesome group of cousins known as the Harveys. (Although some of them are Thoresons, oh well.) We have actually said all of these quotes, and have put in hours of vigilance for funny stuff. These have been said over the course of a year or two, or three, or four.

Ow ow ow ow! -Isaac

Table, I know you are saving my life, but stop! -Isaac

I was chased by a mob of wild popsicles! -Isaac

I have a mute key?!?! -Mark

He has good breath. -Nate

I wonder what unicorns wear to bed. -Faith (JAMMIES! DUH.)

It looks kinda like a butt, BUT IT’S NOT!!!!!!!!!! -Lydia

I always feel like somebody’s watching me. -Emma

I was kidnapped! By a banana! -Faith

Me too. BUT I WAS KIDNAPPED BY A COCONUT! -Lydia

Well I love slapping hams! -Emma

Bob you. -Samuel

AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!! -Trygve

Hi sup yo fart. -Emma

Live long and prosper. -Spock -Samuel

Luke! I am your father! -Darth Vader -Faith

Word up!!!!-Word Girl -Isaac

My christmas list has a puppy, a pony, some candy, a stick of dynamite, and a kitty. -Nathan

I have to go now, I’m being kidnapped by a giant panda. -Faith

I wanna be a detackler! -Lydia

What are those birds again that scareCROWS have to scare off? -Isaac

Want me to share my santa in a speedo story with you? -Isaac

Ah, that felt good. Translation: I farted. -Nathan

I’ll be in your vent system tomorrow at 6 o'clock, you better be ready! -Isaac

Climbing and digging: the solution for world peace. -Samuel

Hiya! Hiya! Hiya! Ooh a firefly! -Nathan

Pineapple, banana, gorilla. -Emma

I’m doing refrigerator pull ups! -Lydia

That vacuum sucks. -Samuel

You’d probably explode if you ate enough bean burritos and duct taped your butt shut. -Samuel

This is the most boring and interesting game of chess I’ve ever watched. -Faith

Who threw a squid on me? -Samuel

Did you know humans share 40% of their DNA with lettuce? -Samuel

My peach fuzz. -Lydia

I’m a donkey and I know it! -Isaac

It’s lumpy and I love it. -Samuel

Did you ever notice that Max looks vaguely like bacon? -Samuel

It could’ve pooped on me halfway! -Isaac

Nate, are you a good aimer? -Samuel

The rare inflatable cactus exploding pineapple bikini cocanatus. -Isaac

It’s nice to have a National Rifle Association sticker on your door. -Mark

Go squeeze the lemon somewhere other than your pants! -Nathan

We were climbing bathroom stalls and he scraped himself on a toilet roll. -Isaac (Hey it’s not my fault it broke off! -Samuel)

I’m going to hide in the bathroom! -Lydia

There’s two toilets and no lights. -Samuel

I flipped over the bottom half of a door! -Nathan

Let’s go be all sneaky, snalky, and snooky! -Samuel

They’re kabobs! -Lydia

We’re houses! -Lydia

No! He killed the rare inflatable cactus! Wait! I know CPR! -Isaac

I wanna be the last straw bender! -Nathan

I used to think elmo and salami rhymed. -Isaac

Pop me! Pop me! -Nathan

Sorry I was in there so long, I got the plunger stuck to the floor. -Nathan

I found a bunch of sky pieces. -Nathan

Bacon makes the world go round. -Samuel

No ool in the p! -Mark

Empty, empty, severed head, empty. -Samuel

DIE POTATO! Oh sorry, not you. DIE TOMATO! -Emma

They're still sticky!! -Trygve

Don't breathe the baby powder! -Emma

If you’re afraid of it don't go towards it! -Trygve

Farting contest! -Lydia

He was sucking my brains out! -Lydia

Is he saying ‘I want to be a fedora’? -Lydia

It’s the giant fish apocalypse! -Lydia

There's coffee in that nebula. -Captain Janeway -Lydia

Smell me smell me! -Faith

Don’t worry, if you fall you have a 3% chance of living. -Isaac

Corn is not good inspiration. -Faith

Colorful donkeys that ride rainbows are dangerous. -Nathan

Can I have a cracker stick with artificial cheese? -Isaac

But I can’t sleep without a blanky! -Nathan

Without a blanky, I feel so bare without a blanky! -Nathan

I’m so cold without a blanky! -Nathan

(Those three things, he said with his hands clasped under his chin, and he said it in this really dreamy sleepy little kiddish voice. You will not believe how funny it was!!! Oh, btw this is Faith typing right now.)

Ah! Scariness! -Nathan

It’s dark. -Faith

Duh! -Nathan

There’s no people up there! Hiya! Hiya! Ya! Aiya! Sorry, I meant to say there’s no conscious people up there. -Isaac

Now pretend you’re a bunny, hop hop hop! -Faith (I told Nate to do that, and he actually did!)

Don’t worry I punished myself: I ran into the wall. -Isaac

Me and Nate butt bumped at the same time but mine was too big and he went flying into a rack of sunglasses. -Isaac (True story)

Stop making sense Nathan! -Faith

I wanna have a tea party. Can we have a tea party? -Nathan

I wanna have a tea party in the clouds. -Isaac (When I was like, 5, I got onto the trampoline and tried to jump to the clouds so me and Nate and some stuffed animals that we’d pretend to make talk could have a tea party.)

This bat is so special. Because I bought it at WalMart! Wait, I just remembered I bought it at ShopKo. So there’s nothing special about it! -Nathan

Nathan just stuck a piece of crayon in his butt crack. -Faith

I like wearing pants! -Emma

My beard isn't sticking!! -Faith

You should make a goatee! -Emma

I gotta make a fake eyebrow! -Ike

I laughed so hard my mustache came off! -Emma

I really wanted a statue of Nathan's butt. -Isaac

I'll make a statue of my own butt!! -Nathan

Squeeze them together! Squeeze them together!! -Nate

Mom take a picture of my ear! -Trygve

Nate I'll make the crack! -Trygve

You made a wanted sign for Nate? -Trygve

You’re wanted for butt making! -Isaac

You’re holding a butt you made! -Emma

I'm making butt cookies! -Nathan

Trygve's eating the wanted paper... -Emma

I'm doing something illegal so don't look. -Nathan

He's giving a butt CPR!! -Emma

I made you a half-man half-tentacle thing. YOUR WELCOME. -Faith

Okay so we got a butt statue contest going on?? -Faith

Give it to me or the butt sculpture dies!! -Faith

I can't work out until I poop all my food out! -Nathan

We will stay with you as you deflate! -Faith

I accidentally used my foot as a doorstop!! -Nathan

Isaac, I just saw your chest fly across the floor.. -Samuel

It's not typing, it's not typing, why isn't it typing? Oh, the keyboard's unplugged. -Nathan

Nathan! This. You. AWESOME!! -Isaac

Mom, are you baking a pan of rice? -Faith

Did you know your sandwich is a hovercraft? -Amy

Hover! Hover! Hover! Hover! Hover! -Nathan

Naomi, can we borrow a five dollar bill? We'll give it back, we just want to find pancakes. -Isaac

I don't wanna be an American flip flop! -Nathan

Eeeh! A bug a bug a bug!! -Isaac

There’s a mustache under the table! -Emma

No squishy! Bad squishy! -Emma

He came in, threatened us with a noodle silently, and left. -Faith

As tasty as Nathan would be if we were cannibals! -Emma

You have chalk on your Puerto Rico! -Emma

It hurts my brain when I bite this. -Emma

I’m choking on a nut, you nutjob! -Emma

Supercalafragalisticxbeallidoshous, so there! -Faith

WE LOST SQUISHY!!!!! -Faith

Uberdale! -Trygve

No, it was a flying tomato. -Faith

POOPAY! -Isaac

His nose woulda paralyzed me! -Isaac

Emma, I love how you’re sitting there all calmly and quietly while we’re insulting each other in a different language. -Faith

HE’S SQUISHING MY TOE!!! HE’S SQUISHING MY TOE!!! -Faith

While we’re fighting to the death, she’s playing drums on his butt. -Faith

Yay! Dead people! -Nathan

Ow, you bit my nipple! -Trygve

I’m afraid a dead fish will step on me! -Mark

Crossing the riverless river. -Samuel

Well, you said the wall’s a staircase, how does that make sense? -Faith

He’s making farting noises into his napkin! -Emma

Oooh dramatic music! But, it’s not my birthday! -Faith

Oh it’s the double part of the decker! -Faith

We’re blabbing about blabbing okay?! -Faith

We’re locked in!  There’s no way out! What do we do?! Oh, we could use the door.. -Faith

A van full of evil children, is just what you need! -Faith

While you were whipping people I was sharpening my nails to points! -Faith

DUN NUN NUN NUUUUUUUN NUN NUUUUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why is everyone looking at me?!?!?! -Emma

I just paralyzed myself!! -Isaac

I’m gonna use a flip flop to turn up the volume! -Faith

Trygve sit doOWn! -Faith

No killing your cousins in the restaurant! -Aimee

Well, I thought it was weird at first, but then I remembered you are adopted, so it’s okay. -Isaac

GIMME CASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! umm. I mean books... -Isaac

Those are the magic words: I’ll give you bacon. -Faith

I’ll fight for my bacon! -Isaac

Don’t touch my bacon!! -Emma

No, I was more worried about you hitting me into the beer rack. -Emma

When I’m feeling down, I look at the quotes and...BARF I mean...I fly to the sky! -Isaac

Whistling is what makes me a cartoon! -Isaac

I can’t keep up okay! Stop being funny!!! -Faith

They’re probably destroying cabbages. -Faith

I can’t keep up with the lettuce! It’s driving me INSANE!! -Faith

Be nice to the heads of lettuce, they might eat YOUR head one day.. -Emma

We’re not blahs, slobs, or non geniuses! -Trygve

Gasp! Cabbage! Punch! Punch! Puuuunch!! ... Vegetarian... -Isaac

Aieeee! Butt cheekles!! -Isaac

You have a lot of butts.. -Emma

He sounds like a insane evil scientist, and you sound like a horse. -Emma

Bacaw! Bacaw! Ooka ooka ooka! -Faith

Ay, music! Ay, pool noodles! Ay, Nathan! -Emma

Educate your pinkies so they can go UP! -Isaac

A penguin from England in China drinking tea. -Trygve

Guess what!? I banished him using chicken noises! -Faith

Don’t correct me boy! Or I will have your head. -Faith

I will kill you, and the cabbages will eat you!! MWAHAHA!! Hi. -Emma

But, they’re vegetarians! -Isaac

I like licking people because their reactions are funny! -Emma

 Liquor-ISH -Nathan

Ish is the most ishish ish in the world. It’s so ishish! -Isaac

Ow! You poked me in the eye with your ISH! -Emma

And then they’ll chase after us with pitchforks and they’ll cook us with onions and carrots! It’s not how I wanted to die... -Faith

At least we’re not school food! -Isaac

I’m so hot! I’m dying! Get me out of this nutthole! -Emma

I likeo Geiko. -Nathan

It’s a gecko! DUH! -Emma

It’s an apocalypse! Noo! Oh, AND WE RAN OUT OF BACON! -Isaac

We missed such a beautiful sight! Oh well. -Faith

We’re plotting against him! WHAT? WHO TOLD YOU THAT??!! -Faith

WHAT!!?? I’M COMPLETELY CAREFUL! OW! I POKED MY EYE!!! -Faith

 We made tea! It’s completely poisonous I’m sure, but it’s TEA! -Faith

Of course he’s bald, he’s a monk! MONKS SHAVE!! -Emma

Holey spaghettios! -Faith

HE PEED IN IT?!?! IT’S TEA! -some dude

Why did I just smell my own feet?? -Emma

Okay, thanks for cuddling my knee.. -Faith

You have polka dots on your legs! -Emma

I see your butt! I see your butt! -Isaac

I just ran into a penguin’s butt! -Trygve

I’m poking my tummy! Sorry. Okay. -Faith

We’re yoshiaholics! -Emma

I have good acceleration! -Isaac

Well, I dodged that banana before you! -Isaac

Ha! Ha! Haha! HA!!! That’s not funny. -Faith

It’s shiny! -Emma

Boring old gold.  Turds are shinier -Isaac

Come hither? My name’s not Heather! -Isaac

Do the armpit fart, yeah! Do the armpit fart, uh huh! -Faith

The gas from your toxic farts made him blind! -Faith

You wanna a taste of my peaches? -Isaac

My own brother is dead!!! Anyone want a fudgesicle? -Faith

What about my apples? -Isaac

You’re not a lady! -Trygve

What about my bananas? -Isaac

Cheese poots! -Trygve

Are you trying to blame this on your butt? -Isaac

It’s probably a metaphor we don’t want to know about. -Trygve

Squishy, squishy! -Faith

Faith, are you squishing a beetle? -Isaac

SWIPER YOU PROMISED!!! -Isaac

We’re gonna dissect your butt! -Trygve

My afro is secretly my butt! -Isaac

Or is it my butt that’s secretly my afro? -Isaac

Isaac’s the big butt man! -Trygve

Apparently, we’re planning out our lives. -Isaac

They said they should go out, and I’m like. . . O_O -Emma

They’re so serious all of a sudden! Where is this coming from? Have they been taken over by aliens? -Faith

Stop walking around, you’re jiggling me everywhere! -Emma

I was setting it down, and it flipped out of my hand and hit my purple! -Faith

TOOT TOOT! -Isaac

HEEHAW!!! What? Are you insulting my laugh? -Isaac

Come here! Not you. -Isaac

Okay, how did our conversation go from butts to college? -Faith

CorrWRONG!!! -Isaac

Do you see a wedding ring, finger, ring...? -Emma

She’s ripping off my butt! -Trygve

It’s rubbing bacon. -Isaac

Who’s laughing? It makes me funny! -Isaac

I’m trying to get Nate to burp! Come on! Burp! Burp! -Trygve

Why are you slapping the beanbag? -Emma

You have honey in your buns! -Nathan

Actually, earlier I peed on the window. -Nathan

You tasted some of Trygve’s pee? -Faith

He’s dancing and peeing at the same time! -Emma

For a second I thought a large Nathan bird had smacked into the window. -Emma (I don’t know why I find that so funny! Oh this is Samuel.)(Same with me!! this is Ike)

He looks like an insane donkey/kangaroo thing, always yelling HEEHAW! And jumping all over the place! -Emma (Hey.... SHUT UP! That’s me your talking about! )

You ARE insulting my laughing!!! -Isaac

OW! I just stepped on my own foot! How is that even possible?! -Faith

Why is there a mustache under your pillow? -Emma

WHAT?? You mean I had a nervous breakdown for nothing?? -Faith

ARE YOU A FEDORA? YOU CAN’T HIDE THAT YOU ARE A FEDORA! -Lydia

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah, sang to the tune of La la la la la la, sing a happy song -Samuel        

Well it doesn't do hat in roblox

I mean tat

NO I mean hat

AKA a fedora

AKA Trygve -Samuel

Once or twice or three thousand times. -Aimee

Oink! Oink! -Nathan

The missile was cute so the kitten exploded! -Nathan

He squeaked himself to death! -Aimee

Hey! No blood in the car! -Aimee

Just pretend it’s good food. -Aimee

I wanna go climb to the top and jump off and die! Will you come with me? -Isaac

Fee fi fo fum! I smell the blood of an English Muffin! Yum! -Isaac

The sewing machine clinic? Huh. -Faith

Ah! It’s a monster! No wait, it’s just Nate. -Samuel

Same thing- Ike

AAAAHHHHH!!! BANANA!!! I use my rocket on you, banana!!! -Nathan

Hairdryer! DIE WITH A HAIRDRYER!! -Samuel

Oh, I was gonna say bugs bunny, but that works too! -Nathan

I’m smelling a bad smell, and it’s not me! I put on deodorant! -Nathan

I took out the moldy cheese stick from under the couch earlier today! You shouldn’t be smelling anything! -Isaac

I wanna wrap mustache duct tape around a cheese stick! -Nathan

Don’t wanna be an American toothpaste! -Nathan

I’ll throw a bucket of cheese on you if you don’t come soon! -Isaac

No way! And I thought it was a cantaloupe. -Faith

Hey wait! I gotta pee in this! -Isaac

Trees just make you wanna pee behind them. -Isaac

You gotta say you peed in a state park sometime! -Isaac

Natey, I found a thick tree for you! -Isaac

Well, I wanna werewolf! Or a werecat! Or a werepotato! -Faith

I am now going to wear a traditional kilt! -Faith

I have a banana phone! -Lydia

Good pillowcase tie! Very nice! -Lydia or Faith... (Lydia, did you say this?) (I dunno..)

I’m not a nun! -Lydia

We are totally awkward! -Lydia

A dime! I’m gonna put it back up there. -Lydia

I’m hiding my banana and my briefcase. -Lydia

She knows pup fu! -Samuel

That’s the most advanced kind of fu ever! - Faith

Sometimes I turn a puppy into a hot dog. -Samuel

Easy peasy chicken squeezy. -Nathan

I got cheese instead of an arm! -Nathan

If you wanna scream... POTATO HO HO!!!! -ISAAC

I’m smokin! LITERALLY! AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! -Isaac

Faithy, I definitely, just did not blow up half of Ikey’s backyard. -Nathan

My paper dragon turned out to be a paper snowball. -Isaac

Sure as long as it’s legal. -Faith

Do you see any cops? -Isaac

Look it’s mellowcreme! -Isaac

Haha Natey! We’re just walking along and in the distance you’re galloping by! -Faith

His natural scent is fart! -Faith

There’s two people in my head constantly arguing, and that’s what makes me me! -Isaac

It’s the ladybug song! Oh, wait, no! It’s the firefly song! -Nathan

You makin fun of my butt shakyness? -Isaac (Absolutely)

We’re gonna use a hot zipper zapper! -Isaac

I’m gonna open my butler! -Faith

I’m watering a gas plant. -Faith

Trygve you better not steal anything, or I’ll hit you with my frying pan. -Emma

If you were constipated, you could just say I can’t poop! Or, I have trouble pooping! Or, I have a hard time on the pot! -Nathan

That was not a good place to hide fire from me. Oh what? I’ll just put these back... -Isaac

I’m stuck in a wall! -Nathan

Ooh, I know! Let’s become astrophysicists! -Isaac

We could start a fire with my glasses. -Isaac

Thanks for blocking that ball of fire with your body, or else I woulda died! -Faith

Mommy, he hurt my fist with his face! -Isaac

I think I still have cotton in my belly button. -Nathan

I’m sorry! I fall down when something’s too funny! -Nathan

A dude without a shirt chasing you? That’s your biggest worry? You’re not wearing pants. -Faith

How dare you smack me with an invisible pillow? HOW DARE YOU?! -Faith

AAH I FORGOT TO SET THE TIMER ON MY BROWNIES!!! -Isaac

Make cakes and eat it. -Nathan

Swiper that was my special cake! That cake was for my mommy! Now my mommy won’t have a cake :( -Nathan (How do you say a sad face?)

SUCKKKER-Swiper

You probably have to be rich in the first pla- OW! -Nate

Hi little bunny! Hi little bunny! Hi little bunny! -Nathan

I’m gonna make an Aiden burrito! -Isaac

No! I must fight back! Dun nuh nuh! Get off my property! -Isaac

Eek! That tickled! -Nathan

You rock, I roll. -Nathan

Get off of me it tickles! -Nathan

That’s a weird sounding dillydoo! -Nathan

No computer, no TV, so instead they run around without pants on. -Faith

A cazoodle? What the heck is a cazoodle? -Faith

Stop you! Belly bumping the back of my head!!! -Emma

Okay, I’ll try to think of something dementedly funny. -Trygve

There was ash and pee and dirt and dandelions and Nate’s old tea! -Trygve (that is funny-ike)

With a little help from Bob the Builder, the earth was made! -Nathan

After you eat at McDonalds, you’re at least a half an inch fatter! -Nathan

I saw something I wasn’t supposed to see! A yo gabba gabba doll! -Isaac

She said not to ask for stuff. GIMME!!! I’m not asking. -Isaac

I threw a lego in the lego box and it bounced off another lego and flew into the couch. -Isaac

You just got OWNED! By my sister! -Isaac

Dear Santa,

        For Christmas will you please kill the girl on my block I don’t like?

Love,

A five year old named Todd.

-Isaac

Do you think I could dress Nathan up as a floating poop turd? -Isaac (Sure why not)

I’m working on my constipated noises. Aren’t they wondrous? -Isaac

I’m not bipolar! I HATE YOU! Love you Faithy! -Isaac

DIE DIE DIE!!!!! Wuuuuv you! -Faith

Congratulations students. You have passed the survival test. Now, there will be zombies coming in with machine guns. -Isaac

No aubla your languago! -Isaac

Don’t walk on people’s lawns! Oops! -Faith

I thought the trashcan was the toaster and almost put my bagel in there! -Nathan

Haha! I thought ahead of time and peed in a trashcan! -Isaac

In the Netherlands! Or it might of been Greenland. Or Finland. Or North Dakota. -Faith

Faithy, Isaac hit me in the head with a broom and now he’s lighting fires. -Nathan

No! You have stuff! I need stuff that is not your stuff that you have, I need different stuff! -Emma

His name is MEGACHICKENDEATH and he’s a chicken! -Emma

Nothing’s better than playing hockey in your knee high black socks, in the kitchen, with mops and brooms as hockey sticks, and a gatorade cap as the puck. And you know what’s the best part? Mom was the ref. -Faith

We’re mopping the floor with him! Literally ;) -Faith

It’s funny because she said Isaac wasn’t allowed to kill Nathan, but it never occurred to her that it would be Nathan who killed Isaac. -Faith

I hate musical stars. -Nathan

I have the perfect weapon for butt pinchyness. -Isaac

Just let the fart go! -Isaac

It’s sad that I know all the words to the Dora the Explorer theme song. -Faith

Oops, put it’s head on backwards. -Nate

OH! Now I put it upside down! -Nate

He’s trying to pull my pants off with a mop. -Nathan

Now, I getta kick your little cheeseburger. -Isaac

Die or I’ll kill you! Did that make sense? -Isaac

I lost my rubber! -Isaac

Mom! I’m putting on your sock! -Isaac

I’m awesome. I’m awesome. I’m awesome. I’m awesomer than him. Hardee har har. -Isaac

I’m making him kick his own butt! -Nathan

You bonked him on the head with a moldy applesauce! -Faith

Dude they’re like tights! -Faith

You are not going to go digging through my underwear drawer. -Faith

Stay away from the fridge or you’ll get another head injury! -Amy

I’m gonna become a rapper, and change my name to something snappy like Ice Cube. -Amy

Faithy, Faithy, Faithy, Faithy, Faithy. Like my tights? -Nathan

Nathan was chasing me with a couch cushion, and I hid it in the only place he wouldn’t look. Back where it’s supposed to go. -Isaac

Did you see that? That plant just killed my balloon! -Isaac

This is called poop on a plate! -Naomi

The door’s hiding something, I know it. -Naomi

I have honey on my leg! -Naomi

That is my banana bread bananas! -Naomi

See, I didn’t know if you knew, and you didn’t know if I knew, so this was just awkward. -Naomi

You can put lettuce in a cupcake, it doesn’t make it healthy! -Naomi

Get your butts out! Open the doors! -Naomi

And it was called, like, the happy wagon. -Naomi

No, I’m gonna use stones for bartering. -Naomi

Guys! Where’s Walgreens?!?!? I swear...! Oh! It’s right there! -Naomi

Haha ha ha ha... No. -Naomi

That would’ve worked! These are sharp! -Naomi

Pssh.. psssh... I was.. busy! At 8:30. -Naomi

No! No! Stop! Demanding things I can’t.. I can’t give to you...! I’ll be in the shower. -Naomi

Heeheehee! Let’s go grocery shopping! Heeheehee!-Naomi

I gotta study up on these crepe things! -Naomi

I timed it perfectly! I could’ve binged you. -Naomi

The milk has done me wrong. -Naomi

Okay, I’m ready for anger management class. -Naomi

Too much tension!!!!!!! -Naomi

We are getting necessities. Like whipped cream. -Naomi

You need grated lemon peel. -Naomi

Peaceful. Peaceful. I wanna bagel! Peaceful. Peaceful. -Nathan

Ow, my head hurts! I think I have a dent. -Nathan

My Faith fell. -Faith

It’s like you walk by a McDonalds and yell, LET’S GO STEAL A BIG MAC!!! -Isaac

I think those are pears, unless they’re some kind of poisonous pomegranates. -Faith

Why aren’t you talking ketchup? Why?! -Faith

Maybe it was just an Ikey stampede. -Trygve  (HEY!!-ike)

I’m going to be the marshmallow that got fattened up on marshmallows. -Faith (THAT’S CANNIBALISM!!!!!!!!!!!!) (Yes, yes it is.)

Go away with your freaky tomatoes! -Emma

Manly scream! Manly scream! -Isaac

Ouchie! I’m just a therapist! -Isaac

Then I can hear the ghost rubbing its butt together! -Isaac

Wind the munchkin up and do the munchkin dance! -Naomi

That’s squishy! That’s squishy! OH MY GOSH THAT’S EVEN SQUISHIER!!! -Naomi

Do you guys wanna play math games?! -Naomi

Noo!! You too?! -Isaac

She probably wants us to burn it. -Faith

The look of that rice gives me a strange urge to sit on it. -Emma

It looked sittable. -Emma

Blop blop blop blop blop blop. -Trygve

NARWHAL! -Trygve

RAWRIMADINO! -Emma

RAWRIMABUNNY! -Faith

RAWRIMACOLORFULDONKEYTHATSANTATRIEDTOMILKBUTFAILEDANDRIPPEDOFFHISPANTSTHEEND-INO -Isaac

I killed the guy who was crying! -Trygve (That’s harsh!)

I really wanna kill him but I don’t wanna kill him! -Trygve

That smelt horrible! -Emma

NOO! You’re not supposed to kill me! I’M supposed to kill you! -Emma

Goatee time! -Trygve

Mr. Squigglez..Dun dun dun! -Emma

Shpank! -Aimee

Why you do this?! -Trygve

I'll ruin the lol face! -Trygve

Poopturd color! -Trygve

Ooo ooo ooo! -Emma

It doesn't even LOOK like bacon! -Trygve

No! I don't want you to sing anything! Out! -Aimee

I get to miss bacon! -Emma

Change it to bacon...Or die! -Emma

Bacop! -Trygve

Wow, I'm so underwhelmed I think my head just got heavier. -Emma

I smell..The legendary..Bacon!! -Emma

VICTORY SCREECH! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!! -Emma

It's a bbmlt! Bread, bacon, Mayo, lettuce, tomato! -Trygve

If mashed potatoes made you fat, I’d be HUGE! -Faith

Aw this is so sad! I’m watching Team Umizoomi all by myself! -Faith

I must take the cupcakes for revenge! -Naomi

I will take them out of their pans... and frost them! MWAHAHAHAHA! -Naomi

Pencil meets fly swatter! AIYAA!!! -Faith

It burns! IT BURNS! What? -Emma

We're having a most-burnt marshmallow contest. Would you like to have my result? -Emma

It looks like a volcanic rock, not a marshmallow! -Emma

Worlds most perfect marshmallows! -Emma (WE ROASTED MARSHEYS TOO!!!-Ikey)

Who would ever invite YOU GUYS to a party? -Trygve (he was saying this to my parents!! ROFL!!!)

You better not try anything I have scissors! -Trygve

You guys wanna bet? Whoever loses gives me ten bucks! -Trygve

Those cars irritate me. They wanna be like a Charger but they're not. -Aimee

What dish? Fish? Dish? -Emma and Trygve simultaneously

Zombies are burning in their beds! -Trygve

Jason is an egg! -Trygve

I cannot spell your name today! -Emma

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++66+6+6+9889vbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbvvvvvvvvvbbhhhhhhhhhhhhhhvffffffffbbhbhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhvfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffvtbvtttttttbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbtvbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb-trygve

Did you actually say all that? -Faith

Were. Mah. FORTUNE COOKAH!!!!!!!!! -Emma

But he’s not wearing red, he’s wearing space! -Trygve

Goldencloud sounds like a unicorn fart! -Amy (You guys now know where we get our humor.)

I HAVE THE FOAMING MOUTH DISEASE!!!!!! What? Haven’t you ever heard of rabies? No? Aw forget it. -Emma

Faith you’re not my sister! You’re my mom’s daughter. -Nathan

I have a date! With my sketchbook! -Faith

Let’s become the coolest grandparents on the block! -Naomi

When someone gets called stupid, why do they get mad at the people who call them that and not at the school they go to?  -Isaac (Good point...)

There’s pineapple on a stick over there... -Naomi

I’m sorry, I didn’t know it was possible to get hyper on water! -Faith

Coffee and donuts? You’re like an old person! -Isaac

Some people actually like to abide by the law Naomi! -Faith

Why?! I don’t get it! There’s no police cars! -Naomi

I’m just afraid I’m gonna fall asleep while I’m walking. -Naomi

Don’t ding the car! You almost dinged it! DON’T DING! -Faith

I’m gonna eat with my left hand during dinner! *splat* Nevermind. -Faith

Half of a half of a half of a half of a sausage. -Isaac

My meat! My delicious meat! -Faith

I like your leaning tower of toast! -Faith

Hey hay! Hey hay! Hey hay! -Nathan

Don’t lick my butt or I’ll squish your snout! -Isaac

Did you hear about Nathan whisper whisper whisper? -Faith

Did you hear about Mom whisper whisper whisper? -Isaac

I know right? Did you hear about Naomi whisper whisper whisper? -Faith

Yes! Did you hear about Dad whisper whisper whisper? -Isaac

Oh my gosh right? Did you hear about Isaac whisper whisper whisper? -Faith

And did you hear about Faith? Whisper whisper whisper. -Isaac

I don't want no rain in my root beer! -Emma

I know how to spell dude, so that means I know how to spell nude! -Trygve

Your lol face is STUPID! -Emma

Now what your wripeten? -Trygve

I made a lotta skins. -Trygve

You cover up the root, and it's just beer. -Emma

Dude! Don't do that! You'll get root beer in your eye! -Emma

You know what's STUPID? In STUPID cartoons STUPID people stand on STUPID cliffs, and listen to their voice echo! And they think it's another STUPID person! IT'S SO STUPID! -Emma

It looks like you peed out of your butt! -Faith

Naomi. Naomi. Naomi. TELL ME WHERE YOUR CANDY IS OR DIE! -Nathan

Everybody freeze!-Faith

Wiggle wiggle! -Isaac

Ooh, wiggle wiggle, ooh, wiggle wiggle, oooh wiggle wiggle! -Nathan

PUNISHMENT! PUNISHMENT! PUNISHMENT! Okay. -Faith

Did you just throw a sock at me? -Isaac

Why’d you hit me? It wasn’t me it was my sock puppet! -Faith (And yes, when I said that, I was talking to myself.)

I go hi, and you go WA WA WA WA!-Nathan

Did you say you’re not a butt muffin? -Faith

Aw I hate this song! Change it back to the old lady song! -Nathan

Just half a mustache, that’s it? -Faith

Are you making out with your hand Nathan? -Faith

Honey, it’s only funny when I do it. -Faith

Nathan as a vampire! That would be funny. -Faith

We should start a band called “The Tongue Flappers.” -Faith

Some peoples kids! -Aimee

Mom I accidently got the hose thing stuck in the milk bottle. But don’t worry I got it out. By cutting a hole. In the bottom of the milk bottle. With a steak knife. -Trygve

Never been peed on. -Emma

Well it’s a talking dog. -Trygve

An endless rain of cat heads! -Emma

I was reading a book that said 'If you think about hurting people, you need professional help.' And while I was reading this, you were in the other room screaming, "DIE! DIE!" -Emma

.Am I talking to myself? Of course I'm talking to myself! Why wouldn't I be talking to myself? Why am I talking to myself?!? -Emma (I said this all very fast in one breath.)

There are so many pillows on this that how are you even gonna fit a butt on it? -Emma

WHAT! I thought there'd be KNIVES in it! Not GOLF BALLS! -Emma

Monkey that follow! Follow that monkey! -Trygve

Look at this wooden bench! It's so wooden benchy! -Emma

I'm powing his butt. -Emma

Poopsicle vision! -Trygve

Woooo! I am the magical haunted fruit loop! Wooooo! -Emma

Pennies in a carrot, pennies in a carrot, tick! Tick! Tick! -Emma

YAY! I mean uhh... -Trygve

It sounded like you said wanflabababala. -Trygve

Hey Emma! I have multiple pee pees! DON'T ADD THAT AS A QUOTE! -Trygve

I stopped the fan with my nose! -Emma

I farted mist water! -Trygve

This flower's totally nommed away! -Trygve

What?! You have a neck of steel! Why aren't you dying? Die! Die already! Die! -Emma

I wanna floating house! -Trygve

A little numbed away! -Trygve

There's two problems with minecraft..OH MY FLOWERS! -Trygve

I smell like I showered in chocolate. -Faith

I’m eating two things! Chips and salsa and kool aid! -Trygve

I did it after mom and I went out! Outside! -Trygve

This is not my sock! This is totally my sock! -Emma

Hello mental hospital? It seems my cousin believes she is a banana. Do you have any idea to what I might do? -Faith

EGGIES GONNA BURN!!!!!! -Nathan

Nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh I LIKE RUBBING MY BUTT ON THE WALL! Nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh. -Nate

I feel like I’m a muffin. Now I wanna muffin. Do you have a muffin? -Faith

I just got binged on the head by a bagful of pretzels. -Faith

Mom! What did you do to my pants?!? -Emma

Well I believe frogs are actually warthogs that underwent extreme metamorphosis because of the aftereffects of rootbeer and broccoli. -Faith

Ughh..I think I just ate a poison apple cuz my tummy hurts now! Or maybe it was the evil laugh...Or *BURP* No I'm good now! -Emma

Come on! Don't you wanna be emotionally awkward like me? -Trygve

I wanna squeeze the bagel till it shatters but it's a bagel and my fingers sink deep into it's soul! MWAHAHAHA! -Emma

Ant venom and Caveman. -Trygve

I need a pug! I need a pug! I neeeeeed a puuuuuuuuug! Wow, after saying pug so much it sounds weird. Like pub! -Emma

Who the heck is...Bob? -Trygve

I know what happens in my brain! Stupid me! -Emma

It's a butt zombie. -Trygve

YOU WANNA CUPCAKE??? YOU CAN HAVE A CUPCAKE!!! HIYA!! -Emma

It derpped into the floor? -Trygve

Wouldn’t it be funny if the hulk was like TIP TOE TIP TOE! -Isaac

I will whack you with a pink sock! -Faith

Oh my gosh, he just bit my toe! -Faith

Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to go upstairs and honk to my heart’s content! -Faith

I shall stealeth your pepperonieth. -Samuel

Need. Bacon. Now. -Samuel

I’m going to tackle you at the finish line. -Samuel

The problem about having a guinea pig is you can’t talk about bacon in front of it. -Samuel

11001100111001110111001111101101010100011001 -Samuel

01000100 01110101 01100100 01100101 0101100 0100000 01110111 01101000 01100001 01110100 0100000 01100001 01110010 01100101 0100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 0100000 01110100 01110010 01111001 01101001 01101110 01100111 0100000 01110100 01101111 0100000 01110011 01100001 01111001 0111111 -Isaac

What do you mean you’re still hungry? You’ve been eating for the past 3 episodes now! -Samuel

DIE CHICKEN DIE!!! -Samuel/Lydia

But the chicks poop flaming turds! -Samuel

I love the mooies that go cow cow! -Nathan

I’m a zombie! Bleeeeh uh! Bleeeh uhh! -Nathan

Beep boop bop boop. Yeah, I’m calling for that free money thing on the radio? -Isaac

I sang them lullabies that had to do with belly buttons and ended it with some nice Kesha! They’re sound asleep! If you count sound asleep screaming at the top of your lungs. -Faith

I don’t know. Hmm... I’ll poke it with a knife. -Faith

Cakey cakey cakey cake. Cakey cakey cakey cake. -Nathan

This is my first one ok! My first one in five minutes! -Nathan

They’d get me and Nay new phones, Isaac an iPod touch, and Nate a lollipop. -Faith

HEE HOO HAA OINK! -Nathan

I was like there, and you were here and now I’m here and you’re there and he just stayed the same. -Faith

I don’t know if that’s creepy or weird! ... Definitely creepy! -Isaac

I’m a vampire! Blood blood! Fang fang! Pssh! -Nathan

I’m gonna buy him a stuffed donkey that when you pull the cord it makes a HEE HAW noise. -Isaac

Those giraffe’s nostrils look weird.-Lydia

I don’t like Intergalactic cheese curls.-Lydia

Stab you with a doorknob and it feels so rough.-Samuel

Mom! My peacock pooped out rainbow colored eggs.-Lydia

The leaning tower of Pancakes!-Samuel

Big bear butterfly bowties-Lydia

So what we don't run, So what we don’t pee.-Samuel

They’re Jalapeno Cheese Curls and they feel so rough.-Lydia

Die Potato! Die!-Samuel

Oh, that was just the shadow of my pants.-Lydia  

Ash’s hot. -Trygve

I like it shut up shut up shut up! -Trygve

Uh oh we gotta candy zombie on our hands! -Faith

Hey Mom I’m smoking! -Isaac

I’m a vampiiiiiiiire! AAAAAAHHHHH! -Nathan

OMG you just threw a cup at me! AAH it rhymed! -Faith

Word of advice: never touch me there! -Isaac

Stinkle boonkle pee! -Faith

Okay, who stole the toilet? It was invisible because it was dirty! -Trygve

Ooo eee ah ah ting tang walla walla bing bang! Ooo eee ooo ah ah ting tang walla walla bing bang! I told the witch doctor I don’t love you! -Trygve

Come here so I can sniff you! -Faith

Normal people don’t say tight or hip! Normal people say poopturd! -Trygve

MY BUTT IS NUMB!!! -Trygve

Poor Trygve! -Faith

OH MY GOSH THIS IS A REALLY WEIRD FEELING!! -Trygve

You..You..YOU PINCHYED MY HEAD!! -Emma

I HIT MY BATCAVE I HIT MY BATCAVE I CAN ONLY HEAR FROM MY LEFT EAR OH NO I BROKE MY BATCAVE! -Trygve

Oh, I don’t think my butt’s numb anymore. -Trygve

It’s sad that I know the names of the Ninja in lego Ninjago. -Emma

 He doesn’t love me? -Faith

She’s a nice cousin but EW GROSS NO! -Trygve

You just need a hug wolf! -Trygve

He’s squishing my head! -Emma

Squishy squishy! -Trygve

Baby, baby, baby, OHH YEAH I sing it better! -Trygve

I think I’m gonna faint..From sheer squishy headiness. -Emma

He called me a hate wolf! -Emma

Even though the girl has no idea how to cook. Oops! Did I say that out loud? YUM! -Trygve

I’m cool cuz I gotta cool jacket! BOO YA!! -Trygve

Google is dumb! Dumb I tell you dumb! And lovable. -Faith

You know things are bad when your mom starts whacking you with a fly swatter. -Faith

You guys can’t just come in here, fart, and then leave. -Faith

I’m drinking blood and it’s delightful. -Faith

DON’T DRINK MY BLOOD. -Emma

I wanna write a murder story! Where people DIE! -Faith

We’re going to spit over the edge and hopefully hit an innocent passer. -Faith

Wait these aren’t fish sticks? -Isaac

I need to be trained in the delicate art of fly swatting. -Faith

We were cone-headed bananas! -Trygve

You have champion toes! -Emma

It’s a fruit with a wig! -Emma

I’ll rip your heart out! -Isaac

It’s scary how low my voice is compared to how high it can get. -Isaac

Isaac, I gotta tell you something. You’re weird. -Emma

It’s so fun fake hurting yourself on the stairs. -Isaac

What’s illegal? I mean...I have nothing in my room.. -Isaac

It looks like somebody slaughtered and threw a small animal in the trashcan. -Amy

Take your bottle of blood and get in the kitchen! -Amy

His face is so soft! -Faith

What conflicted person buys instant mashed potatoes? -Faith

Say something funny I have the quotes up. -Faith

IT’S MY FRUIT ROLL UP GIMME IT! -Nathan

CHEESEBURGER! -Isaac

Those were their reactions. -Faith

Remember when I mentally tased myself in the front lawn to freak out drivers? It totally worked! -Isaac

What’s on your face? Oh, right! Nothing! -Faith

It’s called Limp Bizkit! Why would it be a limp biscuit? Why not a buttery biscuit? Or a crispy biscuit? Now I wanna biscuit. -Faith

Uhh, Alfericious! I guess. -Samuel

Buying winter boots gives me pleasure :) -Naomi

He went into a fart rage and started whacking dogs with pillow! -Faith

Green means red, red means yellow, and yellow means green. Why do you think colors have names? -Faith

Next! Hi. My name’s Clyde. -Isaac

I’m growing a mustache. Can you see it? -Faith

You use your mouth for everything! You’re like one of them... them things that use their mouth for everything! -Faith

Now on to calculus, which I will ultimately fail at and probably break down crying, and then you will try to console me and it won’t work. -Naomi

He pooped in the bathtub! -Lydia

Get your face out of the cake. -Samuel

I’m saying this just so it will be a quote so there. -Samuel

He was like punch and I was like punch!!!!!!!!!-Trygve

There’s Ryzom on my thing I DON’T PLAY RYZOM!!!!!!-Trygve

HEEHEEHEE! My phone has quotes in it but it’s upstairs and I don’t wanna move. -Faith

You’re picking a lock with a key! -Faith

There’s a fly on the flyswatter. -Faith

You’re singing into a flyswatter and I’m singing into a banana! -Faith

Hey! Only I have authority to do that! -Faith

He got a dog thrown at him and a pizza. -Faith

I feel like a goat cuz I have water droplets on my chin. -Emma

I totally deserved this doughnut. I’m not sure what I did, but I deserve it. -Emma

STAY ON THE TABLE PENCIL!! I’m sorry pencil. -Trygve

Why is there a bra on my bed?! -Emma

I just heard you die! -Trygve

I liked that ant, It was a nice ant. -Trygve

The so-called Bobby should’ve thrown the gorilla into the back cart. -Trygve

I don’t like symphonies either. -Isaac

I think that’s the very room I died in. -Trygve

There’s a floating cheese! -Isaac

He cannot handle the powers of the magical burrito! -Trygve

This is good practice for REAL world domination! -Samuel

I burped. I burped again. -Samuel

Do you mind if I wipe my snot on you? -Nathan

We’re playing poker with a deck of Harley Davidson cards, Googling the rules, and betting pennies. -Faith

Never thought you’d hear THOSE words coming outta my mouth did ya? -Faith

Oh, Kansas yonder! -Isaac

I’m gonna do a spit take with yogurt! -Nathan

I actually live in a group of mountains in the Bahamas. -Faith

Poke -Isaac

By the time I’m 30 I’m gonna be HUMONGOUS! -Faith

Poke-Isaac

Sorry, I just ate a ton of cream cheese frosting and I’m craaaaaazy! -Faith

What are you doing? Are you a little monkey? No, no, monkeys don’t chew on stoves. -Faith

I’m in the process of conquering the world, you can’t rush these things. -Samuel

Oh that’s where the pumpkin came from! -Nathan

My dog got a dog. -Nathan

You mess up everything! Except for everything. -Isaac

Someone didn’t pick up their dog’s excretia! -Faith

It was awesome! It was like pew pew! Then it was like slash slash! And then he was like AIIIIYAAA! -Faith

Oh come ON Katy Perry, we KNOW you’re wide awake, you don’t have to keep telling us. -Faith

Natey comes out carrying a spatula yelling EGGIE DIED! -Faith

Well, I come home and he’s bleaching... -Naomi

Haha! A monkey riding a bike would be a sight to see! -Faith

Why did they start a fight? Why didn’t they talk about it over a nice cup of tea? -Trygve (Ur dad wrote that on FB and I laughed SOOO hard!!!)

Where’s the mouse? Don’t you hate it when you lose your mouse? Where be it?! Where BE it?! There it is! It’s not moving! Mousy not moving! Why not mousy working? -Samuel

I like your clone. He’s just like you. -Trygve

That didn’t make sense. It did in my head. I’m drinking fail juice okay!?!? -Emma

Then I will spank you with my pants! C’mere I gotta spank you with my pa.AHH!! BIG STICK! -Emma

Once on Purpleopia the purple planet, which isn’t purple, full of Purpleopians the purple people. Then some purple hater people came and killed all the Purpleopians cuz they hated purple. Then they created a giant machine that eliminated all the purple from Purpleoipa, because they hated purple. -Trygve

WHOOHOO!! I FEEL SO FREE NOW!! -Trygve

Pantsless?! -Aimee

I like having a meeting with fifty other versions of myself. All you have to do is close the mirror on your head. -Trygve

Where mah fail juice? Where mah fail juice? Where mah fail juice? -Emma

There’s so much words! -Trygve

Well that’s just an act of jerkitude. -Trygve

Rub some bacon on it. -Aimee

Not true not true not true! Wait, what are we talking about? -Trygve

I do care what goes on in my head! It’s more than three quarters of my entire world! -Emma

I ate to less! Little! and that’s just what I am! -Trygve

But I’m all happy and you’re talking about dead people. -Emma

She sat there, thinking how she wouldn’t be alive if it wasn’t for him, and how he was her whole world, while he laid there and died. And she was like, whoops! Sorry! I forgot you were lying there bleeding to death! Ha, I’m just kidding, she screamed his name several times. Kinda sad, except they’re both evil. -Emma

You squeezed me to death! Bleh! -Emma

Bosh! Bosh bosh bosh bosh bosh! What does bosh mean? -Emma

Oh I know what Rick means. A BIIIG NEEERD! -Trygve

Whatchyou talkin about? -Trygve

When I read that I did a spit take but then I remembered I already knew that. -Emma

I need a new crystal for my ice sword! -Trygve

Bemo! Ice king what are you doing breaking into our house? I just need a crystal. Well you can’t have one. Bemo! -Trygve

Well whaddya know! COOKIES! -Trygve

You keep pulling random stuff out of your pockets and saying ‘WHOA! WHADDYA KNOW!’ -Emma

I need to go home and finish my Bleach book. Then I need to start another Bleach book. Then I need to finish that Bleach book. Then I need to start another Bleach book. -Emma (I’m a bit addicted yes?) YES!

It looks like a tuft of fur. Yes, I said tuft. -Emma

I’m surprised you didn’t bring the next Bleach book with you. -Trygve

I DID!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! -Emma

Well it smells fresher than the rest of the house..Ahh not anymore. -Emma

It’s like cotton but it is candy. -Emma

This is the best planet I’ve ever been to. WAIT. No it’s not. -Trygve

You’re turning into yourself! -Trygve

Oh yes! OW! -Emma

He’s threatening me. It’s funny! -Emma

Ow! Stop clawing me! Stop kicking me! Haha and he didn’t believe me that I wouldn’t make him fall over. -Emma

Bring it OOONNNN! Actually, please don’t bring it on. -Faith

I wanna get a poodle and I wanna name it doodle. -Faith

I have a drug dealer on speed dial. -Naomi

We’re about to get a buttload of butt! -Isaac

That wall sucks! It’s a terrible design! -Nathan

I didn’t bring any socks. Well, I did. But I buried them. -Nate

I feel so mom-like! -Isaac

Uh oh, Ike, no drugs! -Josh

A fly pooped on my hand! AAAH SAVE ME!!! -Nathan

Every time I stepped and every time I jumped I farted! -Nathan

Did you just tell her to pee in her backpack? -Faith

People think I’m so quiet and shy. They’re idiots!!! -Faith

Did I just pour orange juice into my cereal? I did! GAAAH! -Faith

I’m going crazy! I started talking to my imaginary friend Timmy who I never even had! -Faith

I’m stabbing the potato. But it’s okay ‘cause it called me a naughty name. -Faith

Oh that’s just Aiden’s butcher knife. He’s the youngest assassin that ever lived.-Faith

You’re bumping you a baby swing with your belly! -Faith

He was like, stalking us! -Ike

Isaac, he came with us. -Faith

Whoo! I’m flying! I’m Superman! Why am I just going back and forth? -Nathan

I had to hold him back so he wouldn’t attack the cabbages. -Faith

It’s gonna make my car smell bad if you got cheese flyin’ down there! -Amy

Nate, you’re confused by a little kid toy? -Faith

I wanna sit on you! -Nathan

Why does that ball have eyes and a nose an a mouth? -Nathan

WORD UP! -Aiden

I’d be like, Mommy that creepy man is stalking me! -Faith

Good thing I have a hard head! -Lydia

I’m stress eating a whole bag of Spiderman Cheese Its! -Faith

Trygve, don’t call me your parts! -Emma

I’m a treehugger! -Lydia

I’m singing into a paper towel roll! -Lydia

I like singing into hair brushes and brooms! -Faith

Quotes, I love you. You make me feel closer to my cousins. But more importantly, you make me choke on my apple because I’m laughing so hard. -Emma

It’s Spinjitzu! I wouldn’t expect you to know. -Trygve

I wanna die! Come on, kill me kill me! -Trygve

I’m gonna go get some water and leave you to your screaming. -Faith

That’s embarrassing! I just spell Harvey HarFey! That is EMBARRASSING! -Trygve

I have ten views! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -Trygve

Who the fluff is Katy Perry? -Trygve

Have you been living in a cave or something? -Faith

No! I live in my HOUSE! -Trygve (I laughed for like five minutes!!!!!)

I’m not a curtain. -Trygve

I’ll scratch you! And squeeze you! And put you in a can! -Lydia

Mama, can you come rub my head please? -Trygve

SAVE ME! SAVE ME! SAVE MEEEEEEE!!!!! -Aiden (oh, i remember when he said this. I think i was trying to give him a huggg..... isaac)

We’re gonna fight the Ender Dragon. Jump down Samuel’s hole. -Trygve

Mama, where do they keep the holy water at church? I need to know in case I ever get attacked by a vampire. -Emma

Permission to slap the rude boy. -Emma

Just give me my ultimate doom already. -Emma

Well, you’re more naked than I am. -Isaac

Nathan didn’t think I had pants on. -Faith

Gotta poop gotta poop gotta poop poop poop! Gotta poop gotta poop gotta poop poop poop! -Nathan

Your boyfriend just drove by! -Amy

My boyfriend? -Isaac

If it’s a dinosaur pooping, I don’t want to see it. -Naomi

They are singing about poop! -Faith

It’s not even a street light. It’s just a light! -Isaac

What’s that? What did I DO all morning? Oh, just organized my colored pencils by color and brand. -Faith

It’s a chicken with it’s head stuck in the dirt. It reminds me of an ostrich. -Samuel

I need to work on the aquatic bar. -Samuel

I don’t want my brain to get separated! -Samuel

Stay still so I can kill you! -Samuel

Don’t shoot at me don’t shoot at me I’m new! -Samuel

Owie Owie Owie Owie Aw! -Samuel

Then we have a ghost going around farting blaming it on you! -Faith

Why would you want to tie Bob up with bacon?-Samuel

It’s a fuzzy candy cane! It’s a fuzzy candy cane!-Lydia

Okay, thanks for waiting outside the bathroom! -Faith

And I was like, why is the building moving? -Naomi

I can’t hear you!! You’re being too loud!! -Trygve

It sounded like you said ‘Trygve’s still on pajamas’ which made pajamas sound like a drug. -Emma

I was trying to say bro but I said bra! Heeheehee... -Emma

That’s not how you heavy dweeb! Why did I just call myself a dweeb? -Emma

Ah, I crack myself up. Nobody’d put ‘juice box’ with the ‘difficult’ section. -Emma

Nathan is attacking Aiden with a lamp, and Aiden is standing on a chair with a butcher knife. -Faith

When I was trying to think of a noun for the ‘strong’ section, why did cheeseburger pop into my head first? Well, it did after the name Chad. Who’s Chad anyway? -Emma

I just watched two dudes fighting an old buff guy on fire. -Emma

Exploding mashed potatoes would be so much more fun to watch. -Emma

Little jeepy thing. How quaint. -Emma

Lock yourself in the bathroom!!! -Faith

I’m trying to get hypercarotenemia. -Isaac

Just throw the body off the edge and jump in the cannon. -Trygve

I love his constipated face when he’s sucking his limbs back onto his body. -Emma

Buff burrito. -Trygve

Heh heh heh, that person got hit in the head with a falling bag! We tuned into the good part! -Trygve

Just talking to a fire extinguisher no big deal! -Faith

I like talking to inanimate objects okay! Just keepin it real! -Faith

I’m staying up until I go to bed. -Trygve

No hobos on the BED! -Trygve

When people ask me what I did on Saturday I’m going to say war with goldfish. -Faith

YMCA!!!!!!!!!!! You made caterpillar attack! -Emma

Rub my foot. -Emma

Jay is a saint! They would never do that! -Trygve

Who would impulse buy a banana? -Josh

Throwing someone off a really tall thing counts as killing them. -Aimee

In doing so he killed someone, saved someone, and got killed. -Emma

Why on earth would you name a planet your anus? -Emma

I defeated you, cabbage! -Aimee

Ikey has a girlfriend?!?!?!?!??! -Trygve

Shut up Mickey! -Trygve

I trapped a chicken underneath the stairs! Oh wait he’s not completely trapped! -Emma

HIII!!! Person with a fake mustache....  -Naomi

We’re gonna live forever at this rate! -Emma

Why do I have to read the quotes when I have a slave to do it for me? -Trygve

It’d be cool if I had a pet boar and named it Constipated. -Emma

What the duck? -Emma

Why am I walking in slow motion? I’m not an astronaut! -Emma

There are two advantages to wearing slippers. One: They keep your feet warm. Two: Nobody can hear you when you sneak into the kitchen to steal some food. -Emma

Luckily, I’m wearing slippers, so no one can hear me scuttling across the floor to go watch more Bleach. -Emma

Bleh! I will suck your pizza! -Trygve

I’m glad you likes mys introverty times. I needs it to be happys. And if I’m not happys, you not happys because I’s beats you ups. -Emma

Tie again! Having a staring contest with your reflection sucks. -Emma

What the pizza is wrong with the pizza? -Trygve

Bad biscuits make the baker broke bro. -Emma

I’M NOT A TOOTSIE!!!!! -Emma

Thank you for being optimistic by talking about death! -Faith

Try saying that 5,000 times fast! -Trygve

Yous has a puppys and I has ninjas. -Trygve

I could live on cheese! -Trygve + ALL

Money plus muscles equals ninja. -Emma

Why do they all have chickens on their heads? -Nathan

Disabled my ability to fart? That’d be horrible! -Emma

When the sheeps dies it’s gonna go to the nether. -Nathan

It’s not an Ah! feeling, it’s an Ah! feeling. Sometimes people confuse the two. -Emma

Sure we can do that! I mean it’s illegal... but you know just a little. -Naomi

I’m not your brother, I’m your SISTER! -Isaac

I need to squeeze chickies! SQUEEEZEE!!! -Emma

Heehee. Butlerly. -Emma

I wasn’t singing the My Little Pony theme song! -Samuel

This, PIZZA is the best lunch to be! It’s called Nick’s PIZZA and I can’t wait to see, it, on a plate in front of me! because this, PIZZA is the best lunch to beeeee. It’s so taaaastyyyy!!! -Emma

You can’t upload a song to a toothbrush! -Emma

He threw his face into the fire! -Trygve

I have a hairbrush and a music folder and I can defend myself! -Emma

You’re always like, School! School! School! And I’m always like, Bleach! Bleach! Bleach! And Trygve’s always like, Lunch! Lunch! Lunch! -Emma

He jumped an exploding pit while everything exploded! -Trygve

DUDE!! You burp and then you fart!?!?!?! -Emma

Someone pooped on me! -Isaac

This is my DANCE! -Nathan

What’re vacuums again? -Isaac

I wanna make my own monster! -Trygve

I wanna run around 90% naked later! -Trygve

I was gonna say something really long and thoughtful, but then I realised it wouldn’t be funny. -Emma

I just don’t feel the funnyness emitting from my skin like I usually do..actually that’d be weird. -Emma

Don’t cry! I’m kidding cry all you want. -Nathan

Mama! Trygve said perhaps! Our little boy is growing up! :’) -Emma

Do you know where you can buy dead bodies? -Faith

I HAVE MENTAL ISSUES! -Isaac

Stop drop and roll! -Faith

Why? ‘Cause that lady on the thing that goes rrrr is on FIRE! -Isaac

What about hearts? I mean, I always drew mine like buttcheeks! -Nathan

Aiden’s eating the poodle! -Naomi

Now I’m going to sit here, and beat down my craving for ramen by watching Bleach. -Emma

I love how the mashed potatoes mixes with the scent of the ham. It just smells heavenly. -Emma

I wanna know how you pee pee!! -Trygve

Nuuuuuuuuu!!!!!! -Emma

Lol it looks like someone died down there. Oops I died. -Trygve

Oh mother poopturd! Crap crap crap crap crap!!!!! -Trygve

Who names their child DEADPOOL?!? -Emma

You could name it tennis racket! Or towel. -Faith

Oh shut the elephant poop up! -Isaac

A blaaaa! Eeeek! AAAAAH! AIEEEY! AAAH! HAHA! -Aiden

You smashed my skull into my brain. -Faith

Oh the life of Isaac. It’s describing a duck burping! -Amy

I mean how are we supposed to know what that sounds like? It’s probably between a burp and a quack. -Isaac

This small sucker has blown my puny human mind. -Faith.

Is that the one Nate peed on? -Isaac

Leonardo Da Vinci. He was like a ... brilliant guy! -Isaac

Faithy my sucker is under here! -Isaac

That’s a lady bug squisher don’t put it on my head! -Faith

A LADYBUG KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT! -Faith

Once I left the faucet running at school on Earth Day. -Isaac

Have a taste of my refried knuckles! -Faith

Yeah, well take a look at my corn beaner! -Isaac

Time for the green marshmallow to go bye bye! -Faith

Nathan, that’s not even a dude! -Faith

We grew mold on floss? That’s awesome! -Faith

Zeus has his thunderbolt, Thor has his hammer, and I have my titanium spork! -Isaac

Their food looks like barf. -Trygve

He's the one who threw me across the room!! -Emma

I want to go to hell. -Trygve

I totally wanna taze someone. -Emma

Killing bunnies is fun. -Trygve

Let's go kill some more unicorns! -Trygve

It's a pixie! KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT!! -Emma

I wanna kill a unicorn. -Trygve

Don't you know cheese attracts kids? -Emma

Twhaha??!? Did my brother just say ABS?!? -Emma

What am I whacking? It’s soft and squishy! -Nathan

Don’t you understand the rules of guys peeing? You don’t touch them while they go! -Amy

I’m being stalked by my own brother! -Faith

I had to lock myself in the bathroom to get away from him! -Faith

Your face is really annoying, go wash it off. -Faith

We picked the same spot to hide from each other! -Faith

You didn’t have internet!?!??!? BETRAYAL!!!!!!!!!!! -Emma

I like these minis. You jush pop em in your mouf and der you go. -Emma

You think he’s cute like a little pet, right? -Aimee

Why is he using a butcher knife to make a PB and J sandwich?! -Emma

Oh it’s the Slenderman. Hello Mr. Slenderman!! -Trygve

I got free angry birds! I don’t even like angry birds! -Trygve

I turned my grenade into my banana! -Trygve

You kicked him really hard in the butt and he fell down and you ate his corn dog? -Amy

I said hi to a naked person. -Emma

I bet all my piggies are dead. Yeah, all my piggies are dead. -Emma

A piece of water? How does that work? -Emma

Mom you’re trying to poison us with pink water again? -Isaac

It’s a jacket wearing pants? -Faith

I’m drawing a guy wearing a straightjacket. -Emma

I’m drawing a straight guy wearing a jacket. -Faith

Oh wait! Who sat on me crumpet?! -Trygve

Trygve stop spitting all over yourself it’s disgusting! -Emma

I realize now I said stop it Faithy. I meant Trygve! -Emma

Would you stop trying to turn me off?! -Emma

A-B-C-D-E-F-G 1-2-3 YOU SUCK -Trygve

HAAAAM!!! -Trygve

Hahaha! Emma! Hahaha! I bet you can’t do this! Emma! Hey Emma look! Look! I bet you can’t do this! -Trygve (This is why I find my brother annoying)

It’s like you pull out a hundred dollar bill and the president has a ham head. -Trygve

The power of the FOOT -Trygve

Guess what? Trygve gets gassy when he’s hungry. -Emma

He turned a corner and screamed. -Emma

What the poop turds? -Trygve

Alfie just meowed. Which is kind of unnatural since he’s a guinea pig. -Samuel

Oh I totally forgot about my torture chamber! -Samuel

Guess who’s getting zombied! -Samuel

Sit your butt down, squish the banana and write! -Faith

Sorry, I can’t hear you, you’re UNCONSCIOUS! -Faith

Little kids and puppies are a good match. Little kids and big sticks? NOT a good match. -Faith

Haha I whacked you with a squishy banana! -Faith

Don’t make me hit you on the head with the squishy stress banana! -Faith

Respect the bagel! -Emma

I’m gonna troll this troll. After he trolls me. -Trygve

What an idiot! He’s trying NOT to get eaten! -Emma

The best part was when he pulled down his shirt! -Trygve

Since when is Santa’s wagon pulled by two black horses? -Faith

You kick him in the back of the knees, you tackle him, and I’ll steal his nose! -Faith

I just saw Santa speed by in a black convertible at like 80 miles per hour, and there were a couple of girls with him and one of them yelled WOOHOO! -Isaac

We opened up Santa’s sleigh and like 50 speeding tickets fell out. -Nathan

I’m smokin’ a candy cane! -Nathan

You're flinging meat everywhere! -Emma

How are you gonna ask your girlfriend to marry you? Whoops! Did I say girlfriend?? -Trygve

I feel like a pirate because I have a cookie in my mouth. If that makes sense. -Emma

A whole day of bad butt luck. -Trygve

Papa says to not be bored, get some sticks and whack each other. -Trygve

Blue pee is delicious. Some people call it 'mouthwash' AKA you, Emma. -Trygve

Faithy sungs it!! -Trygve

Uh, why you guys holdin hands? -Faith

You cannot see me, you cannot see me. -Naomi

Aiden, it’s not polite to throw oranges at creepy orange dinosaurs on the TV. -Faith

You’re theoretically locking the door. -Faith

His name is FredWARD! -Isaac

SUPERMAN! And you thought this was for warming me! -Isaac

They know where we live because my foot was showing! Not because, you know, we’re sitting on the steps of our house. -Faith

I covered up my feet! Now they won’t know where we live! -Faith

Those punches in the face were just friendly! -Nathan

Don’t threaten me with a toothbrush! -Faith

Ahh ahh ha!! MY NERD!! -Emma

I’m laying in a moonbeam! It’s annoying. -Faith

I’M SPANKING A MONKEY!!!!!!!!!! -Nathan

What the..TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES DUDE. TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES. -Trygve

I just tried putting pants on my head! -Trygve

My noo poob! I mean...my moo tube!! -Emma

Hulkish figure?? -Emma

Oh dang it! I didn't blow up. -Trygve

I was looking for a sentence to read but I didn't crash till I looked up. -Trygve

I wanna play that game where your head falls off. -Trygve

They’re debating who gets to wear a pool noodle around their necks. -Samuel

Bacon bacon bacon! And then you’ll have clogged arteries! -Samuel

Sometimes. Sometimes you just get cut in half. -Trygve

Aiden’s downstairs on his bed dancing in his underwear. -Nathan

You can’t have pizza without orange juice! -Faith

This is a suspicious looking jellybean. -Faith

I felt like Emma Claus with her big garbage bag of presents. -Emma

Sitting is hard work Emma, don’t you know this? -Faith

I’m sucking on my pen like a cigarette. -Faith

Wait you played some games, watched a movie, and drove all the way home, and you're still out of breath from the games? -Emma

And they’ll be like, are you a werewolf? And you’ll be like: No. I am a flamingo. -Faith

What? She wants to bite him? -Aimee

No! She wants to INVITE him. -Emma

Ohh. That makes a lot more sense. -Aimee

No one makes poopy nail polish! -Isaac

Why are you walking around in your underwear and socks? -Emma

Did they just escape by throwing cheese at us? -Word Girl

What cop wouldn’t be distracted by a floating cart of hideous looking cute goblins? -Dr. Two Brains

The turn lane! It’s for TURNING!! -Aimee

His name is Paz. Like Spaz. -Emma

I have to go get some food. I think it’s food! I don’t know! -Emma

You wanna go? You wanna go? Just let me go get my mouthguard. I’ll be BAAACK! -Isaac

I CAN BE AS FEMININE AS I WANT, I’M A FEMALE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -Emma

OMG EMMA LIKES A JUSTIN BIEBER SONG! -Faith (she’ll try to deny it but she secretly loved it.) NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh you loved it. PLAYDOH. IS squishy. SQUISHY!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!no nathan is NOT made out of playdoh.

I’m strong I can rip stuff in half yo!!! -Faith

Yeah, like playdoh things! -Emma

I will wear my love for spikey hair on my SLEEVE!!! -Emma

MAMA HE’S POINTING A GUN AT ME! -Emma

Sometimes I think there are normal people in the world but I can never find them. -Naomi

‘

We’re doing ballet in giant fluffy marshmallow coats listening to Justin Timberlake. -Faith

Do you think Santa will get a picture with me? -Faith

If anyone asks, my name is James Scott. -Isaac

You’re a five eyed boogie fatapus? -Faith

He can block all my kicks and punches but when I threw a pencil at him he fell over! -Nathan

Who has a 50 volt stun gun in their basement? -Isaac (Who doesn’t?)

Haha you were just like ladadada ooh carrots! -Faith

ISAAC GET OUT OF MY CLOSET! -Faith

I’m moisturizing! -Isaac

I’ve been standing here for five minutes like an idiot shooting at that guy and he’s on my team! -Samuel

It’s a talking guinea pig save me, save me!!!! Kill it, kill it! -Nathan

My lifelong dream is to get a penguin, name it Captain Butterfly, and keep it in our refrigerator.-Faith

Haha everyone’s watching The Dinosaur Train! -Faith

I have to eat my pizza as fast as I can before she kills me! -Faith

Fine! Lets dress up in tutus and march around the house chanting: I like bunnies! I like bunnies! -Faith

I’ve decided I’m going to become a writer and live in a cave with tons of Cheez Wiz and wheat thins.-Faith

I cannot be human anymore. -Faith

Mom just called me a banana butt! -Faith

Oh that’s so ironic it’s not even funny. -Naomi

Santa’s pointing a gun at someone? *gasp* He’s finally turned. -Nathan

Can I be squashy? -Isaac

Only a cool sister like me lets you go down the stairs on a carpet Natey. -Faith

They’re coming for us!!! Oh, it’s just you. -Faith

COME ON NATE! I HAVE SANTA ON SPEED DIAL! -Isaac

I want a chainsaw! It has to be purple and bedazzled, but yes I want one. -Faith

Don’t kill yourself. -Trygve

You have to be really angry. Or constipated. Whichever works best for you. -Trygve

I’m a log!! -Trygve

And the pond was still wet? -Trygve

I never thought I’d say this, but I ate so much macaroni and cheese that I might puke. -Nathan

Your zippers unzipped! I can see your peepee!!!!!! -Nathan

Iiiiikeeeeey, I’m right behiiiiiind you! -Aiden

Don’t worry about wasting food Mom. I just had twelve helpings that OTHER people could’ve had. -Isaac

It’s okay it’s o- AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH HE SNOTTED ON ME!!!!!!!!!!! -Faith

Haha, he gave up and attacked you instead. -Faith

Nay, they’re not wearing pants!!!! -Faith

Trygve took grapefruit juice and put like, ten spoons of sugar in it!!! -Emma

Ya and apparently you aren’t supposed to put sugar in it! -Trygve

Are you really gonna drink all of that?!? -Emma

Yup. -Trygve

This is gonna be a nightmare. -Emma

Get outta my room creepy!! Do you want me to call you creepy from now on? -Faith

Okay now you have my full attent- wait hold on. -Emma

I just hit myself in the face with my own knee, how is this even possible?? -Emma

Yew Nork. -Emma

That’s his dar of jurt! -Trygve

It’s a sanwith with picklths. -Emma

I feel like an eskimo! NUN NUN NUN NUN NUN! -Faith

Hey Faith I see you! I see you too Faith, how’s it going? -Faith

It’s like Abraham Lincoln could die :( -Trygve

He also breaks my bones! -Emma

Malfoy you two faced little slime weasel! -Faith

Calling all death eaters! Oh, you wish you were as cool as the super readers! -Faith (lol for a second that looked like soul reapers.) NO WAY THE SUPER READERS ARE THE BEST SUPERHEROeS EVER! BESides spider man.

soul reapers aren't super heroes. THEY’RE SUPER AWESOME. and creepy. they're nice if u get to know them the names creepy. except kenpachi. WEIRD NAME hes just insane.interesting.....

He ran out of my room, fake ran into the wall, and fake fainted on the floor. -Faith

Ah I stretched it too much yesterday while I was doing yoga. -Isaac

He threw them! -Faith

No, they someone catapulted off my face! -Isaac

Smarty pants. -Aimee

She doesn’t have pants. -Emma

Smarty butt. -Aimee

Today I was thinking I was gonna get dressed, but then I was like, nah. -Faith

I feel like if I sneeze one more time my brain will explode. -Faith

If someone went inside my head when I was at school they would think I’m a psychopath and admit me to a mental institution. -Faith

DIE!!!!!!!!! -Trygve

hi i’m blue!!!! -Trygve

My dog fell into the dish bull -Trygve

It’s like you go to Antarctica and you’re like ‘ooh ooh ah ah’ oops sorry, wrong continent. -Isaac

Yeah, that’s right! I trapped you in a dark bathroom with a naked boy! -Faith

I could fit a whole army of Waddles in here! -Nathan (don’t ask)

I’ll fix you with my magic hammer I pulled out of my pants! -Nathan

Ike started coughing, so I started coughing and Nate fell off the bed. -Faith

That’s good Ikey, sleep with some nice sharp objects. Try not to stab your pillow. -Faith

Isaac’s fighting my imaginary friend. -Faith

And he smacked the air! -Nathan

Captain Butterfly is my penguin. He sometimes lives in our fridge. -Faith

I’m lying in the buttcrack of evil with a ponytail in my face. -Isaac

In an early memory of mine, Dad was changing my diaper on the living room floor while there was fried chicken on the table just waiting to be eaten. -Isaac

Mmm Waddles just LOVES pooping out fried chicken! -Nathan

Psst, buttcrack people. Hi. -Isaac

Ooh, my head’s spinning, my head’s spinning! Too much coffee, too much coffee! -Faith

When I run like this, my butt jiggles. -Nathan

Smell mah foot. -Emma

Who’s that baby that I see? Truffle! Truffle! She’s a cutie yesiree! Truffle! Truffle! You will surely die WHEN YOU MEET HER! Because of extreme cuteness! -Emma

I love Pooh! I love Pooh sooo much! No, not that kind of poo! Pooh Bear Pooh Bear! -Faith

Well this isn’t good, we lost Aiden. -Faith

Oh no. Not another Minecraft parody. Someone please kill me. -Faith (That can be arranged.)

I know! She sounds like a real dog! Are you a real dog now? -Aimee

Don’t leave the herd! -Faith

Did anyone else just see a homeless man riding a little pink bike? -Naomi

Death by munchkins, that’s what my gravestone’s gonna say. -Faith

I has Spiderman duck tape and I is very happy. -Faith

Sitting there in the sink Naomi? -Faith

Well while you were doing that, I was taking gumballs outta the machine in alphabetical order according to states. -Faith (Huh?)

He ate your chewed up gum and fed yogurt to the dog and licked the spoon, all in the span of five minutes! -Isaac (he’s talking about Aiden by the way. nasty right?)

MMM! Oregon is tasty! -Faith

Were you rubbing your butt against the wall? -Faith

MY POOP IS PURPLE!!!!! Just kidding! It’s orange. -Isaac

Your teeth are so squeaky! -Emma

This could come in handy for a body bag! I mean... a suitcase! -Faith

Two apples a day keeps you on the pot all day! -Amy

I want it I want it I want the nut! -Isaac

I only eat gum during school and that’s the only time I’m not supposed to eat it. -Isaac

Don’t spin around and eat a banana at the same time it gives you a headache. -Nathan

You were my client once, but with your budget I could NOT design that bouncy house. -Isaac

Bleach? Why Bleach? Why couldn’t it be Lysol? Or Clorox? -Isaac

Well he can just eat his food with his mustache. -Faith

If a reader wants to punch us, we have done our job. That’s my philosophy. -Faith

I'm not yelling at a stapler what are you talking about? -Faith

I wanna be the president someday. Everyone would have to pay in jellybeans and gumdrops. -Faith

I know right? I crack myself up. -Emma

Some might say I’m a little overdramatic. I have no idea why they’d say that. -Faith

That sounded like a constipated duck! -Emma

The evil face you’re giving me is creeping me out. -Faith

I had a brain fart. My mind’s like woo woo! I think it’s over there on the floor. -Faith

I can juggle. I’m not good at it, but I can! -Natey

No Harry no! -Nathan

Mr. Hopper and Mrs. Hopper. When they get married it’ll be Mrs. Mrs. Hopper. -Faith

Everytime I read a news article I can’t help reading it with a newscaster's voice inside my head. -Faith

He’s wearing tights. That’s all that I can get through my head right now. He’s wearing tights. -Faith

Naomi, it said Lazy Town, but they were doing flips and now I don’t wanna live there anymore. -Faith

Do not hit your brother with licorice that’s attached to your glasses! -Faith

My bellybutton. Not yours. Mine. Mine mine mine mine mine! -Nathan

Aaaaah, I got water up my buttcrack. -Nathan

Who puts legs there? -Nathan

You just tried to hand me your face, didn’t you? -Emma

The bag that you put gifts in... What is that called? -Isaac

What are those? Chocolates? I bet they’re chocolates! That, or deadly balls of poisonous stuff that will kill everyone. -Faith

I need to organize my brain. -Faith

Nerds tape their glasses. Geeks solder them. -Isaac

You should be lucky I don’t have a spicy burrito. -Trygve

A slug and a cabbage had a baby and that was a human. -Isaac

He’s just squishing a fire hydrant! -Faith

I wonder what kids with normal moms do for fun. -Faith

Luposlipaphobia is the abnormal, persistent fear of being pursued by timber wolves around a kitchen table while wearing socks on a newly waxed floor. -Faith

SPIDERGIRL AND BATBOY! NUNNUNNUNNUN! -Faith and Isaac

I need an anvil pronto! -nathan

Those are the biggest little tomatoes I’ve ever seen! -Faith

I’m drumming on my cheeks! -Nathan (You don’t wanna know which kind of cheeks...)

My butt just vibrated. -Faith

Ike looks like his head got squished and Nate looks like he’s on cocaine. -Faith

I love combustion engines I love combustion engines! -Nathan

Combustion engines are awesome! -Nathan

Faithy, do you know what a combustion engine is? -Nathan

There are combustion engines in cars? Let’s go steal one! -Nathan

I want combustion engine yogurt. -Nathan

Next time I get on the computer I’m gonna make a combustion engine yogurt factory. -Nathan

What is with your new obsession with combustion engines? -Faith

Hey Faithy can you get me some nanosuit boots and a jetpack? -Nathan

You guys are gonna be like one of them celebrity couples everyone hates ‘cause they keep breaking up. -Faith

When you get a wife... I’m just kidding you’ll never get a wife. -Isaac

If I ever get on one of those dating websites, I’m not gonna put that I play feed the beast everyday. -Nathan

I NEED TO CALL 911!! WHAT'S THE NUMBER AGAIN?? -Emma

YAY NO PANTS ON!!! -Trygve

I wonder if splinters give you peanuts. -Emma

I almost said noseball. -Emma

Get out of me! -Trygve

He's probably being slowly dying. -Trygve

Every time you say axe it sounds like you're saying a bad word. -Trygve

Aiden get your hand out of my pants. -Isaac

Hey hey! He’s mine I licked him! -Faith

I’ll eat my hotdog at you! -Faith

Oh those really aren’t that sharp. You could stab yourself and totally live. -Faith

I just squished his face with my foot. -Isaac

I was offering cheese to first graders that walked by today. -Isaac

I got a lot of weird looks that day. -Isaac

We do do science. Haha doodoo. -Nathan

Holy honey on a cheese biscuit! -Faith

OOOOHHHHH!!!!! What? -Faith

He’s a fat little singin’ dinosaur! -Nathan

No no no we are not cannibals. -Faith

Oh that’s just a heart attack waiting to happen. Let’s go! -Faith

They are stuck on a planet with naked people who want to kill them. -Nathan

Space! No. Space! No. Space! No. Yes! -Lydia

I think the itsy bitsy spider itsy bitsy bit me! -Nathan

I look like a marshmallow puked on me. -Faith

I think we can sit for eight minutes without killing each other. -Faith

Sam don’t lick the wall. It doesn’t taste good. -Nathan

I love Pizza Hut! -Isaac

We got Little Caesars dude. -Nathan

Let’s just blow up the franchise. -Samuel

Look it’s a beheaded head! -Lydia

That’s another thing we need: an acid pit. -Faith

Don’t go up there you might get hurt! Come down here or I’ll punch you. -Nathan

You’re not allowed in the garden center but you just picked up a chainsaw over there! -Faith

I don’t get how you didn’t flinch when I held a chainsaw up to your head. -Isaac

Faith I suck. On skittles! -Nathan

Let’s go midget hunting! Where’s my harpoon? -Faith (now imagine that in a really creepy voice)

You’re like a teenager. Says the teenager. -Emma

Yep, just smokin' a Twizzler -Emma

I'm trying to have a civil conversation with you dog! -Faith

Most probably. -Emma

When? Where? I’m confused. Wait what? -Emma

Associating the boys with self control just doesn’t comprehend in my brain. -Faith

Isaac they have a severed head aisle. -Faith

Let’s hijack that ladder! -Isaac

The plant is speaking to me. -Faith

That rug barked at me. -Isaac

We could just bonk her with those eggs on a stick. -Isaac

You should go up to your teacher and be like DUN ME MAY MA MO MOO! -Faith

Seriously Isaac you couldn’t have waited til the basement? There’s a wet spot on the stairs! -Faith

Um it’s remember your lunch, drive safely, and always make a backup of your directory tree before modifying your hard disk partition file. -Isaac

There’s nothing like listening to someone screaming to make your day. -Emma

We spent the last ten minutes arguing about a character WE made up! -Faith

Please don’t run me over. I can’t die wearing this. -Faith

Aiden keeps coming up to me saying Naaaateey come kiiiill meeeee! -Nathan

You know I never thought I’d be in a corner cuddling nursing books. -Faith

That free penny thing is a great idea! I have like, fifty already! -Isaac

Dude we make an invincible team. I mean, with my looks and your brains! -Faith

No! Not the potato! -Lydia

Whoa! Hey! No running into people with little tricycles, that is not cool! -Faith

Isaac! Me and my floss need time alone! -Faith

Don’t bite me don’t bite me don’t bite me AAH! I thought she was going to bite me. -Emma

Hey guys can I kill you? I’m hungry. -Emma

Let’s go skipping through the men’s underwear aisle! -Nathan

Just don’t nail yourself. -Naomi

I might get up in the middle of the night and cook a pork chop. -Josh

You know it’s a good day when you break inch thick steel in half. -Samuel

Look at me guys! I broke an inch thick steel in three different spots! -Isaac

It’s okay guys. You can fight about who breaks things later. -Faith

I threw water at him. It just happened to be frozen but it was just water! -Samuel

My motto is eat, play, poop. -Nathan

Nate hide your knife! -Samuel

It was a minute and forty one minutes. -Trygve

Hovercraft: that’s a breakthrough. Time travel: that’s a breakthrough. Bacon mouthwash? -Faith

Let’s go have a fiesta! A french cow? No, a party! -Isaac

I slapped my face and it hurts now. -Emma

I am being made to feel stupid by my eleven year old child! -Amy

His mustache fell in the toilet! What kind of world do we live in? -Trygve

I hate it when I have to think! -Faith

You know you’re a puppy when your ears are bigger than your head. -Aimee

It looks like a pega-Faithy. -Trygve

Mom is the dishing washer clean? -Emma

So yeah how about they like go to somewhere and it’s like they’re kinda so then they’re like we need to like have okay so what needs to happen is I think at one point well they’ll . . . let me start over. . . -Faith

Q: Hey you wanna fold some proteins? -Samuel

A: No thank you, I am kicking a tree metaphorically. -Faith

He’s trying to save my life, somebody help me! -Faith

MWAHAHA I’M ON NAOMI’S COMPUTER! Well it really isn’t that evil because she let me. Is that a quote? I only thought it. . . -Faith

Ah! Healthy food! It burns! -Emma

I’m sorry, I was listening to music and counting at the same time but I had to keep restarting because I thought five didn’t come after four. -Emma (Ha ha, emma!!! your so silly. five doesn’t come after four!)

Yay! I’m useful! -Emma

Occasionally, I go for a midnight poop. -Isaac

I’m gonna take my WOODEN police box to the sun. -Nathan

There’s nothing scarier than a little midget nerd with weapons. -Faith

Truffle you’re warm come here. Stop licking your butt and come here! -Emmai

Q: What are you doing? -Emma

A: Strangling you from across a few states. -Faith

PERISH OR DIE!!!!! You decide at goldfishfun.com -Trygve

I’m baking. Ugh. I’ve reached such a low point in my life, I have to bake. -Faith

If I get poisoned and die, it’s your fault. -Isaac

So many opportunities! You could spray paint a monkey! -Faith

Faithy! I pooed on the sham. -Nathan

Guys, for my next birthday I wanna meat cake. -Faith

Q: Where would you get a horse? -Emma

A: Uh, from the horse shop. -Trygve

I came here to watch a movie, not get a black eye! -Emma        

Serial killers! Buy our product! It removes blood! -Emma

I’m pretty sure I brushed my teeth, I just don’t remember it.-Faith

Ahem. Don’t mind me, I’m just talking to my poster. -Faith

Haha you have to go to an awkward social event! -Samuel

AAAAAAHHHH I CLICKED I DIDN'T MEAN TOO!!!!! -Faith

Like maybe in the end he’ll turn into a robot! *GASP* ... Nah. -Faith

Lydia stop hitting your broken arm with a tuning fork! -Samuel

Are you calling her a fat sausage? -Faith

It’s really fun to go up to people and say, “I wonder what human flesh tastes like” and see their reactions. -Samuel

Please route your folders to the nearest folder collection facility. -Samuel

Hey I wanna hold the umbrella. It’s gonna make me fly away to magic pixie land! -Samuel

I tried that once. I kept jumping off the porch with an umbrella.... who knew the whole entire neighborhood was watching? Did I mention I was talking to myself.... -Isaac

Okay I’m behind the dude with the giant sombrero! -Mark

Asian unicorns do exist. -Common middle school belief

All I have to do is look busy while writing and reading quotes for the next 12 minutes. -Samuel

I’m not a stalker! Sure, I know your address and I’ve memorized your schedule, but I’m not a stalker! -Samuel

A fedora with a trench coat and shades. Not suspicious at all. -Samuel

Is it sad that I’ve memorized the My Little Pony theme song and also know nearly everything about all the characters? -Samuel (Lydia I blame you)

I don’t think Samuel is a stalker. He’s not the stalker type. BUT ON THE OTHER HAND...I think Emma is. DON’T TELL EMMA. Wait...I think I just did. -Trygve

Look both ways before crossing the street, eat your veggies, and always back up your directory tree before modifying your hard drive partition file. -Samuel

Remember your lunch, drive safely, and always make a backup of your directory tree before modifying your hard drive partition file.  -Isaac’s original one

Did Faithy write that? Faithy’s nice! She couldn't write that! -Trygve

HEY! I’m nice! -Emma

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! oh...you’re not kidding... -Trygve

The only reason I eat celery: for exercise. -Faith (Actually you burn more calories eating it than what you get from it.)

I was going to hit Ian, but he sprinted for the door and I haven't seen him since. -Samuel

You call me a stalker? Grant has a picture of Kiara from third grade wearing a tree. A tree! -Samuel

We were playing monkey in the middle but Aggie kept puppy dog guarding. -Samuel

A pineapple! A pineapple! That lady bought a pineapple! -Lydia

Its it weird that I’m an eleven year old boy who loves unicorns, watches my little pony, loves physics, reads chemistry textbooks for fun, and opera sings? Wait! I’ll be right back. I have to watch my little pony! -Isaac

I once heard that some person sings as good as people think they sound in the shower. In that case, Isaac sings as good as people actually do sound in the shower. -Samuel

The trees are out to get me. -Samuel

Teacher: Who told you you couldn’t draw?

Samuel: Uh my sister, my parents, my friends, my cousins, my subconscious, the media,

Ron’s Music’s owner, and uh, yeah I think thats it. -Samuel

It wasn't all smooth. Earlier a saxophone ate the tuba player's arm.  -Samuel

Who knew that bullfrog game was a spectator sport? -Samuel

Is it possible five months of school made him dumber? -Samuel

It’s amazing how entertaining colorful letters can be to him. -Samuel

Hug it, and squeeze it, and put it in a can! -Lydia

I pledge allegiance, to the flag, of the United Servers of Minecraftia, and to the Republic for which it stands, one biome, under Notch, and that’s all I got. -Samuel

Opposite day is a paradox. -Samuel

Fine Mr. Donkey, I’ll give you the potato. -Samuel

I’m getting delirious. Heheh, delirious. That’s a funny word. -Samuel

Heheh he talked to him and then he was like boing boing boing boing boing. -Samuel

Poke bye. -Samuel

Heheh no. -Samuel

They're the worst of the best. -Samuel

Don’t worry, he landed on his head. -Trygve

I doubt if I push down on your head you’d poop out a marshmallow!!! -Trygve

You have a nemesis? -Trygve

You have a nemesis? AWESOME!! -Emma

Is he a platypus? -Trygve

Ikey you have a better knife than me. Ow! I dropped it. On myself. -Nathan

Faith I have a knife! I’m gonna make you scream! Cuz it’s so smooth! -Isaac

Nate put your fingers on let’s go. -Faith

Ah! I have Ruby all over me! -Connie

Guys I have laser vision! What? Oh, I must’ve forgotten to replace the batteries. -Faith

I once saw an electric toothbrush that cost more than a lawn mower. -Isaac

We’re not planning evilness! We’re not! Psst! Nate! Hide the particle accelerator! -Isaac

Crap... I accidentally printed a 27 paged article about string theory... I better get to work. -Isaac

Don’t push there’s a cliff right there! Oops. -Isaac

Hey daddy! I’m peeing! -Isaac

I love how we’re blasting Taylor Swift in a hotel parking lot. -Faith

Whoa! I headbanged so hard my bed moved! -Faith

ZOMBIE! DIE! You won’t eat me today! AAIYAH!!-Nathan

I love you! I’m gonna kill you with my mouth. -Isaac

She had some spray on stuff that gave her a fake smile. -Isaac

Q: Nate you ate them all? -Naomi

A: No! There’s one left. -Nathan

Sorry I’m just yelling at my radio don’t mind me! -Faith

You can’t break my heart! You can’t! It’s made of bedrock. -Isaac

Hey guys I’m gonna put a beehive on my head! -Isaac

Save money, live better. That’s the power of the Home Depot. -Lydia

Up, down, up, down, up, down, wall, birdy. -Samuel

Who said you can’t eat a sucker with your feet? -Isaac

Wouldn’t it suck to get stuck behind a truck pulling anvils? -Nathan

I can be serious! After you buy me a mermaid. -Isaac

Let’s be dolphins! Oink oink! -Faith

Who let the dogs out? It was me mommy. I’M NOT A WOMAN! -Isaac

That’s just like you Mom: get your Iron Man privileges revoked. -Faith

That hobo under the bridge sold me a hotdog! -Isaac

Come on goaty, say meow! Can you say MEOW! Isaac

Hey Nate how do you cover up a murder? Wait, nevermind. -Isaac

A helpful smile in every aisle -annoying walmart people -Isaac

Bow down to me! I’ll chain a penguin to my leg! -Isaac

Nathan are you barking at the dogs? -Faith

They’re taunting each other with strange sounds and weird movements. -Faith

My name is Fluffy McFluffykins. You are my master. MEOW! -Faith

I’m like a little ice cube alone in the world. -Naomi

It’s weird that I’m giving you advice on how to kill me. -Emma

We don’t shoot humans we shoot animals! -Isaac

Iiiiiii’mmmmm CHUBBY!!!!!!! -Nathan

Nothing like eating lunch at 8:30... -Samuel

I couldn’t DDoS his Internet because he already beat me to it. :( -Samuel

I wanna become a cannibal, Truffle. We have some bananas in the kitchen. -Emma

It’s so cold that I’m wearing my slippers! -Emma

Oh yeah? Well I’m a burrito! -Trygve

Clothes on food! Ice cream bikini! -Trygve

I’m just sitting here looking at pictures of food because I have no life! -Naomi

I’m eating a Hulk flavored popsicle. -Faith

She’s drinking out of the chair. -Aimee

Bloody footprints! Let’s follow them! -Trygve

Screw you Slender! I got eight pages! Haha! AHHH!!!!! I think he heard me! -Trygve

Noo! Why’d it hafta be a chicken?!? Nolululul! -Trygve

Jump is not a valid number?! -Trygve

Where the chicken goes I go! -Amy

Why do you always clear your throat in a British accent? -Emma

Emma, I think I’m part cow. -Trygve

That would make sense. -Emma

Yeah, yeah it does. -Trygve

Privacy is a myth we stalkers like to exploit. -Samuel

Q: How long does it take for a body to decompose? -Nate

A: About one year, if they're buried in a coffin. It also depends on the climate. It would decompose quicker in a subtropical climate. Please don't ask how I know this. -Isaac

Truffle get off my pants! -Emma

Hmm, let me give you a hint: it starts with T and ends in mess. -Aimee

He’s so indecisive! One day I’m like, hey, you want some ramen? And he’s like, no! I’m sick of it! And I’m like, but you haven’t had ramen in months! And he’s like, I know, but I’m still sick of it! The next day he’s like, oh, I want ramen. And I’m like, what?!?! -Emma

I am going to hug your face. IN THE FACE. -Emma

All mosquitoes are the same! Pew pew pew! Op! I just kicked you in the face. -Emma

Dang it! I just ran a marathon! Now I wanna do it again! Brb. -Isaac

Awww your such a cute little unicorn. Now let's go inside before someone I know catches me talking to a stuffed unicorn. -Isaac

You look like an abominable snow baby. -Isaac

Watch me do a cartwheel!!        AHHH MY NECK!!!!!! -Isaac

Moo hee hee hee I'm a weregoat!!! BSAAAHFRJCG OOOPPONVFEAGHJJYRERE!!!! *runs off into the distance * -Isaac

I just spend the last half hour lecturing my imaginary friend on astronomy in the pitch black night. I feel I've reached a new low in my life. -Isaac

Who farted in this tightly enclosed space?! Nvm... I'm the only one here... -Isaac

Shh Nate! Right now we have to focus on breaking and entering our own house! -Faith

Nathan your buns are in danger! -Amy

I want to watch cheesecake with you and eat Death Note! -Trygve

I don’t even know how to respond to that. Oh wait, yes I do: JELLY CAR. -Trygve

Truffle, your farts aren’t cute. -Trygve

You can always tell if a donut is good if it has Spongebob’s face on it. -Trygve

The good thing about you is you don’t die before you do. -Trygve

I don’t always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer [insert brand name here] -Emma

I brew my own... I mean.... Hi. -Isaac

Let's do the old lady dance! OW MY HIP REPLACEMENT! -Isaac

Dude check me out! Imma butter knife! -Trygve

Mom we were slow motion punching each other! You can’t rush things like that! -Faith

My brain’s going to come out of my nose if I sneeze one more time. -Faith

Isaac froze ice cubes... In ice. -Faith

NOOOO!!! NO NO NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I mean, I know he lives in the end but NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! -Faith

I’m gonna flip my egg! Whoo! Whoo! Whoohoo! Oh crap. -Nathan

Radioactive butter!-Lydia

It should be a pink marshmallow fluff sheep, BUT WITH A BAZOOKA!!!!!!!!!-Lydia

 I kinda like the color of blood……-Lydia

Bad doowaa thing! Very bad doowaa thing! -Samuel

I have learned to speak the ancient language of our ancestors!! Bacon, bacon bacon bacon!! -Trygve  

Something horrible happened today! I had to use FIREFOX!! -Trygve

What are you going to be for Christmas?-Lydia

I’m gonna be a panda -Isaac

He tamed a wild horse! Well, it was inside a fence, but still! -Samuel

Ahhhhhh a monster kill it kill it! Oh, sorry Christian. -Samuel

We have to use what? INTERNET EXPLORER?!? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! -Samuel

Their way up is like a staircase, and ours is like a very steep dirt slide with bricks in it. -Samuel

We don’t hit pets with foam swords, we hit people. Remember that now. -Samuel

It’s my duty to wipe. -Isaac

Faith: Your eyes are so pretty!

Isaac: Oh I thought you were checking if I was a zombie!

You can be the rapper so get on my candy! -Nathan

POOP. BINOCULARS. POOP. BINOCULARS. POOP BINOCULARS. FLUSSSSSHHHHHH. -Isaac

I got her favorite chew toy stuck around my leg, and now she gnawing on it. -Isaac

I didn’t know you could store Belgium in a bottle. -Trygve

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH crap. -Samuel

It took me a few years to realize that my friend in third grade might not have been a good influence, considering he licked walls and said they tasted like chocolate. -Samuel

Where’s the Rii Wemote?-Lydia

Bacon, bacon, airblown turkey, bacon, bacon, airblown turkey. -Samuel

We’re having a debate about what waste product unicorns replaced with rainbows. -Samuel

When I was in the shower, I farted and it was so toxic I could smell it while plugging my nose! I'm not even kidding. -Nathan

Knock-knock! Who’s there? A little girl. A little girl who? A little girl who can’t reach the doorbell! Ha Ha ha ha ha! Get it? You do get it right, she like, knocked, because she couldn’t reach the doorbell, ha! Ha ha ha! Right, you do get it though, I mean, it’s funny! Why aren’t you laughing. Wait, where’d you go? -Isaac

They were all yelling at him for playing games on the iPad, while I’m just sitting there watching them and playing Subway Surfers. -Samuel

I was playing Subway Surfers on two iPads at the same time! One with each hand. Didn’t work so well. -Samuel

I like staplers!-Lydia

Wait, leather is from cows?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! -Isaac

Wait, so what’s pi again? I mean, I know it’s 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375, but what’s it for, you know, mathematically. Or is in geography, to measure the edges of the continents and stuff, like Sioux City. -Isaac (IT’S FOR CIRCLES)

I probably should stop getting blood on school property. -Samuel

Once you’ve watched twenty fifth grade girls crammed into a tiny space dancing and singing to That’s What Makes You Beautiful, there’s no going back. -Samuel

Halloween is the only night of the year when you should accept candy from strangers! -Trygve

No don’t escape! I mean, leave! -Emma

Truffle, come here and face your snuggling superior! -Emma

I cleaned up dog pee! You can’t deny me my donuts now! -Emma

I bet my name feels all weird. -Emma

C’mere and let me smell you. -Aimee

Oh my gawd there’s a dalek! EMMA THERE’S A DALEK. I’m gonna shoot it. I just shot a dalek! -Trygve

Don’t use the dog as a shotgun! -Aimee

If the cousins don’t come, this goes to the pineapple. -Lydia

Get off my spatula ya punk! -Amy

Today I realized that most of my best friends are all online. They actually listen to my problems. -Samuel

There's a starfish on the piano! -Trygve

I’m suffering from a case of post-Star Trek depression. -Samuel

Against all expectations, I was not a sadistic mayor. -Samuel

Hey I could survive 399 days in a zombie apocalypse! It’s on the Internet it must be true. They can’t put anything on the Internet that isn’t true. -Samuel

I'm taking off my feet! -Trygve

Church coffee is good if you have like, two packs of salt in it! -Trygve

This should do....absolutely nothing. I'm a genius. -Trygve

So she’s wearing a Doctor Who shirt, I’m wearing a Star Trek shirt, and he’s wearing a cat shirt with a calculator watch. I think we’re set. -Samuel

Right here is Jeffrey the piggy, and over here is Senor Fluffy. Picks up cow and throws it off a cliff. And that is a hamburger. -Samuel

He said that you're a hot potato! -Lydia

May I lick your bracelet? -Lydia

Now you make a good point, but what were we just talking about? -Samuel

He decided to play some videogames because he was depressed because his arm hurt because he stabbed himself in the arm with a screwdriver by accident after his boss was an idiot. On the Internet you meet interesting people. -Samuel

Cheating on his girlfriend with a zombie! How dare he! -Trygve (we’re watching Supernatural yaaay)

Are the clothes done cooking? -Samuel

I have fun classes. Science? Hit things with mallets and play with lasers. Algebra? Make up doge memes and talk about Star Trek. General Music? Substitute plays Radioactive cover on ukulele. P.E.? Play dodgeball and basketball at the same time. Language arts? Jump on tables and play Cat Mario. Lunch? Cinnamon roll hockey and table football with Doritos. Band? Lock people in closets with drumsticks. Choir? Play tackle duck duck goose. 21st Century? Play Minecraft. Social Studies? Listen to dubstep. Our school is fun. -Samuel

There’s a difference between stupid immaturity and smart immaturity. -Samuel

It takes a lot of skill to not do anything on the project for two weeks, then finish it on the last day. -Samuel

They call it chicken fried steak, but it doesn’t have any chicken in it! I have lost all faith in humanity. -Samuel

Sorry, I’m busy chasing a person with a rock, with a rock, around a rock. -Samuel

We put the fun in dysfunctional! -Samuel

Apparently our school signed a nonaggression pact with the Confederacy. -Samuel

That’s not a new flag, you just stole China’s flag and added a crown. -Samuel

See, this is how we pass time. We discuss what Hitler’s biggest mistake was. -Samuel

When I grow up I’m going to buy a house right next to a middle school, and then barbecue on my porch every day they have football and track practice. I’m so evil. -Samuel

When I get a car I’m just gonna go drive around town blasting the Skyrim theme song. -Samuel

No! Come back! You haven’t been sufficiently traumatized! -Samuel

I don’t like cutting people! As far as I know.... -Trygve

Is this what my voice looks like? -Trygve

If you call it Ikeania, you can just have a flag with some old guy smacking someone with a cane. “I CANE YA!” -Nathan

Check it out! I can ride a bike as a scooter! WHEEE- CRASH. -Isaac

Orange juice. Shaken. Not stirred. -Isaac

Isaac. James Isa- Wait no that’s not it! -Isaac

I think a werewolf ate my heart. -Faith

Yeah... sorry about that Faith. -Isaac

Okay now let’s be quiet because mom’s coming back right now. -Isaac

*shouts* QUIETNESS! -Nathan

If you were a booger, I’d pick you first. -Faith

Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? And knocked your brain out of place? -Isaac

Did you fart? Cuz you blew me away. -Nathan

Mom, can you sit on a cheesecake? I suppose it depends on the person. Yeah, I’d sit on a cheesecake. -Faith

Faithy, I don’t think we’re in Sioux City anymooore. -Nathan

Come on! Let’s settle this like men! SLAPPY FIGHTS! *waves arms around* -Isaac

I have a galaxy on my floor. I keep stepping on planets! -Faith

Okay guys. Today, let’s be productive and stay off the internet. I’m gonna Google how. -Faith

I want a Pokemon cat carrier! -Nathan

Please don't buy me a real cat skeleton -Emma

Why would you kiss a plague? -Emma

Dignity or Skittles? Definitely Skittles. -Emma

You're like Rudolph only not. You're Bluedolph -Emma

I think the new Statue of Liberty should be a fat guy holding a cheeseburger and a gun. -Isaac

My left butt cheek is wiggling! -Nathan

My love for you is like diarrhea. I just can’t hold it in. -Faith

Look, he kicked the ball. Oh look, now it’s over there. Hooray, this is so exciting. Look how excited I am. Yaaaaay he got hit in the head with the ball and fell down! This is fun now. -Samuel.

I was nervous until I realized that most people don’t psychoanalyze performers as much as I do. -Samuel

I’ve watched too much BBC. I’m starting to call my mom mummy. -Lydia

Last time I almost rode to Barr, I was seriously considering throwing my bike in that junkyard. -Lydia

Hi. -Isaac

Aaah that new duct tape smell....it doesn’t smell good. -Trygve

I just ate a piece of popcorn that looked exactly like a brain.-Lydia

If I get rid of the draw will it get rid of your face? -Faith

Sidestep your way to victory! -Emma

These shoes still have that new shoe smell. *Sniff* AAH THESE ARE 2 YEARS OLD -Isaac

Trygve did you put pants on? -Aimee

I'll breakdance him! -Aimee

I need to cut these bushes so I can spy on the neighbors better. -Aimee

Can't believe it's page 54 and no one's made out yet! I'm appalled at myself! -Faith

You can either have rainbows or unicorns. CHOOSE WISELY! -Lydia

I risked it for a biscuit! -Trygve

Type :pd: ! It's two people making out! -Trygve

LEAVE ME ALONE I'M WRITING A MAKE-OUT SCENE! -Emma

As a wise British woman once said; What an idiot.-Lydia

CURÉL WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE -Trygve (Curél is a brand of lotion.....he was yelling this at my lotion bottle)

I picked Sally up and she was a waffle.-Lydia

How’d you get so much money?-Isaac

Cannibalism.-Samuel

Anybody wanna take a walk?-Lydia (I said this when everyone was on their devices, no one answered except Nate who wanted candy from Russ’s)

SO, Nate fell off his chair and I got a cat’s butt in my face.-Lydia

WHO DA FOOP ARE YOU?-Emma then Faith then Lydia (Emma chatted it)

I stress eat all my money, that’s why I’m poor. -Faith

THEY’RE MARRIED! They’re married oh my god they just met but they’re totally married. -Emma

He styled my hair! With a leafblower! -Lydia

The rabid turkey escaped from McDonald's!-Lydia

It’s a giant squishy pile of squishiness! -Lydia

I can totally see my cousin Nate jumping around on a bed singing to a bag of Skittles. -Lydia

I need to go back to the place where I store my crap so I can take that crap and put it in the place with my other crap so I can take the crap home and do crap. Crap I dropped the crap. -Samuel

He’s playing trombone with a broken arm! Now that takes skill. -Samuel

If I barfed enough barf, how much barf have I barfed?-Lydia (in a really weird accent)

What is street? -Lydia

This is my first time in the United States! -Lydia

So much nope I just can’t even. -Lydia

Mayonnaise? Ohh MENACE. -Trygve

I knew I shouldn’t’ve made my children kill each other. -Em

There’s some leftover pizza in the cold box. -Aimee

[You need an ID. -Aimee

Will the government know I exist then? -Em

No we can just make our own. -Aimee]

I have all seven emeralds! Do you know what this means??? ...I can become Super Trygve. -Trygve

...That’s Gavin. I almost just texted Gavin “Can you bring home some Chinese food?” -Trygve

[I kind of look like Harry Potter. -Em

Do you want me to put a scar on your face? Then you’d look like him! -Trygve]

[You could even put reeces peecies in there! -Trygve

….Reeces PIECES… -Emma

……./I’ll say it however the hell I want to./ -Trygve]

Ha! Jokes on you ice cream man I already had ice cream! YOU CAN TAUNT ME NO LONGER!!! -Em

Oh this isn’t so bad… AHHGHH! -Em

You can’t limit tomatoes, do you know NOTHING?! -Aimee

I have grass in my shoe. -Em

I have grass in my shirt. -Sam

I have grass in my hair. -Lyd

Come on Dry Bones, I have a present for you! You can trust me! Come on, we’re friends! Touch me! -Trygve

Everything’s on fire! -Samuel

Okay, who gave Gandhi nukes? Was it YOU Napoleon?! -Samuel

D-D-D-DROP THE BASS drum. -Samuel

Somebody’s gonna look through this computer and find a picture of Bill Cosby with a straw hat and buck teeth -Nathan

GOD DAMMIT TOAD!!! -Trygve

There’s a person in our toilet! - Nathan

Help me my boat’s in a wall and it’s killing me! - Nathan

I’m a boat bender! - Nathan

I’m a boat killer I go around and kill boats that’s what I do what do YOU do? - Trygve

Why do you have boat on your head? Boat boat boat boat - Trygve

Cuz’ I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me, so give me back my pie. -Lydia (I was singing Fight Song by Rachel Platten, I think)

I only have one match but I can make an explosion. *evil grin* -Lydia (Still singing)

I tried to type lmao but it autocorrected it to lamp - Trygve

It’s page 55 and I hate it already! -Lydia

I feel all super-spyishy in these boots.-Lydia

I’m learning how to say ‘I am fabulous’ in sign language! -Lydia

If you had come in to my math class today, you would have seen a kid with a jacket on his head, the teacher throwing water on the kid, and a kid waving his hand around with a very strange look on his face. -Lydia

There should be a dare where someone has to read the quotes without laughing or smiling- Lydia

Ah, that was the perfect dance. There was food, girl drama, and ‘dancing’. -Lydia

Honorable Mentions

These are from people who aren’t Harvey’s or Thoreson’s, but are still really funny (yeah right). Please put all Harvey quotes above this.

Oh, it’s okay his face caught his fall. -Christian

Is the Titanic a yacht? -Some random classmate

Apple trees don’t grow in America! -My second grade teacher (I had one in my backyard at the time. . .

Aww. . . I just want to hug it and squeeze it and rip its head off. -Crosby

I kept this piece of trash just for you. -Rocco

That would be suicide and I don’t want to die. -Jacob

Is Missouri the country north of us? -Jonathan

Life is like a fart. If you push it, it’ll be [explicit]. -Axel

Every time a child cries, a flower grows inside. -Mr. Hatfield

I will not use my hands or my words for hurting myself, or otters. -Calvin

Brb, punching universe again. -Ethan

GIMME ME BANANAS!!!!! -Mr.Gibson (My band teacher... He’s kinda messed up).

nohicom picks up emma and throws her across the room into a pile of teleport. I really shouldn't have that should I? I mean it's raw teleport, I should at least keep it in like a bucket or something

not just pile it on the floor. -Ethan

My eyesight is so bad I have to wear glasses and contacts at the SAME TIME. -Random Target employee

What’s Doctor Who? Can I join the Doctor Who club?- Lex (She still doesn’t know what it is.)

None of us cross country kids have any meat on our bones. -Levi Hesman

Get off the tracks you out-of-towners! -Hastings cross country runner

AHHHH!!! SPICY CHEETO POWDER IN MY EYE! -Christian

Let’s be manly! Patty cake, patty cake. -Christian

I’ll lick you if you get too close! -Avalon

She likes saying Mr. Popper perhaps your penguins prefer plentiful phish. -Some random classmate  

C- is better than a D+ right? Really? Yay I moved up in math! -Felipe

The pen might be better than the sword but the gun beats all. -Mr. Idiot

Those girls are weird. . . -Random kid

Greetings fellow earthlings!  I come in peace!  Sort of.-Emaline

I made Pear Presley!  No!  Elvis Pearsley!-Emaline

Thanks for sharing!  I don’t want to hear about your flatulence!-Mrs. Wilkinson

Well she was running around with her pants around her ankles while I was trying to comb her hair.  It didn’t end well. -Emaline

Q: Would you rather die having a shot that kills you or being eaten by a T. Rex?- Random dude.

A: A T. Rex!  So you could be like you died in a car crash?  Well I was eaten by an extinct animal that’s been dead for millions of years! -Emaline

Rich kids are spoiled brats!  (sigh)  I wish I was a rich kid. -Carly

It smells like dude perfume. -Carly

There’s something in my pants!  I can’t get it out!  Emaline don’t look! -Tessa

I don’t know the alphabet, that’s one of my flaws! -John Stoltenberg

Butt two, three, four! -Tessa

Q: So dad has three feet? -Emaline

A: He still has three feet, but one isn’t attached anymore. -Sarah

Why do you have a Queen Amidala costume, dad? -Emaline

Anyone want a spinning dead rat? -Mike

A rattle snake tail is a thing you don’t really want to touch, but at the same time you’re like: touchy, touchy, touchy! -Emaline

No hugging, this is choir! -Carly

It’s a little butt knooke! -Carly

Q: Did you just lick me? -Emaline

A: No!  I gulped in your ear! -Tessa

They should make a constipation commercial that’s just a hillbilly standing there going:  Yep, I can’t poop! -Sarah (Yes my mother Sarah)

I was farting while I said that whole sentence! -Tessa

Why do I have ‘Dude looks like a lady’ by Aerosmith stuck in my head? -Emaline

My name is Max!  I am a dog!  Not a frog, on a log! -Max (Yes, Max my dog)

I was on the bahs!  I just couldn’t hear you guys. -John Pearson

No singing!  This is choir!  Wait. -Emaline

I like to touch the poop! -Classmate

I can’t hear her because when I take off my glasses I’m blind. -Sad Classmate.

I need to die in the next ten minutes. -Monica (a girl in my dance class)

Don’t sing in choir!  Singing is for when you’re alone in your shower, all sad and lonely. -Emaline

No pressure.  Just do it or I’ll come to your house and kill you! -Carly

Is it weird that I have a British alter-ego? -Emaline

Deja voo and a glitch in the Matrix?  Wow! -Emaline

So the problem with that is- Ooooh, my scarf smells good!  Does your scarf smell good? -Mrs. Vonderohe

So this is part one and this is part two.  (Holds up her hands and makes them talk) Hi part one!  Hi part two! -Mrs. Vonderohe

Wouldn’t it be a twist if her dad was Aphrodite?  Think about it. -Emaline

Were you practicing in the shower again?  I told you not to dance in the shower! -Mrs. Vonderohe

Mrs. Vonderohe, I don’t just sing in the shower, I perform in the shower. -Max Rookstool

Bye!  I SAID BYE!!! -Mrs. Vonderohe

I burped and scared Sherlock! -Tessa

(Gasp)  We’re horrible people!  Oh well. -Carly

Awfufjaoegoodoemoo. -Andrew

You broke my wings! -Roxana

Do you need a pacifier? -Mr. Harpham

(Gasp) Those people are have to stay after school!  They must be evil- Oh hey Mrs. Vonderohe! -Carly

Wait, Tessa what’s Trailhead?  Emaline shut up. -Grandma Dorothy

I’ve met a lot of interesting shoes lately. -Grandpa Jerry (He had eye surgery and has to keep his head down.)

Now don’t fly for three months or your eye will explode.  OUT OF YOUR HEAD! -Grandpa’s doctor

You know what it means?  Lord take me now! -Mr. Cole

It’s a giant banana! -Emaline

For my wedding, instead of flowers I’m gonna have a bouquet of bones.  Whoever catches it will be the owner of the soul in which the bones belong.  (EVIL LAUGH!!!) -Emaline

That could be your thing!  You could be that weird girl with the gun. -Mike

I feel like I could barf rainbows. -Some kid from my class I think his name is Jarrett

We need some popcorn over here!  It’s a show. -Lily (When Mr. Cole was yelling at this dude.)

I don’t like the sound of C#.  It sounds like a fart! -Lily

So don’t get too excited yet- -Mike

MONEY!!!!  WE’RE GOING TO BE RICH!!!  OUR COLLEGE WILL BE PAID FOR AND I WON’T EVER HAVE TO WORK!!!!  YOU CAN RETIRE WHEN YOU’RE FORTY!!!  MONEY!! -Emaline

Q: Would you rather have gold or pie right now?-Emaline

A: Duh! Pie!  What would I need gold for?- Carly

Stand in the shade, you guys look better in the dark. -Mr. Harpham

Wow.  Christopher Columbus doesn’t look so good.  Looks like my aunt Margaret. -Mr. Harpham

When you rap you’re all like- oh hey Mrs. Ross. - Kid from my class, I think his name is Zach

I’ll read.  All ya’ll shut up. -Brena (I think her name is Brena.)

I think she means, everyone be quiet so that I can read, please -Pastor Bill

Nope.  I meant what I said. -Brena

I wear a shirt at the table! -John Stoltenberg

I didn’t just get mad at a piece of paper. -Lily

Isn’t Linus the person on Snoopy who plays the piano and has tornadoes following him around? -Mrs. Ross

Lights, Luis, lights my man!!- Mr. Harpham

Lalala Laaaaa!!!- Claire

There is a fire hydrant wearing a hat over there. -Emaline

I WANNA BE A PIE!!! -Emaline

Q: What makes you a volleyball person? -Mr. Harpham

A: The desire to hit a ball at someone’s face. -Zach (Pretty sure that’s his name.)

It’s Sacojihooa! -Zach

My bunny scratched me.- Gage

No kicking, that is immature and childish.  Hey no kissing- KICKING!!!  I meant kicking! -Gage

Remember the two words shut and quiet, or be and up.  However those words go together. -Mr. Harpham

AHHH!!!!  I JUST THOUGHT OF MR. TELL IN A SPEEDO!!! -Abby

It was quite a sight.  A nun and I walking down the streets of New York to go and get tacos. -Mr. Hanson

Now I know what it’s like to have a heart attack. -Carly

Q: When did you get to be thirteen? -Jean

A: It took years. -Noah

That would be simultaneously gross and awesome.  Spiral vomit!- Emaline

Bubble's have never hurt anyone. -Alexis Kramer

Oh, look!  A knife! -Emaline

Now that could hurt someone. Alexis Kramer

Nah, I don't have a talent.  Wait yes I do!  I'm an excellent napper.  I can nap almost anywhere! -Mr. Hatfield

I caught nature. -Bryton

He put a toad in my shower!  We are plotting revenge! -Bryton

H-h-hey H-H-Harrison!  H-h-how are you?- John Pearson

H-h-hey John!  H-h-how is your h-h-hamburger? -Bryton

I love to eat my h-h-hamburger with my h-h-hands.  Some people put h-h-horseradish on their h-h-hamburger. -John Pearson

I think that is h-h-hecka disgusting! -Bryton

Whipped cream fight!!! -Emaline

Well, I didn't have my glasses on, so all I saw was a colorful blob and I heard John's voice yelling "I'm riding a magical pool noodle pony!!" -Emaline

John makes the jokes, I just make them popular. -Bryton

Don't touch the 'fro man! -Bryton

If you get mud in my hair I will plan all of your deaths then make them happen. -Bryton

I'm gonna put my hair in a ponytail so you guys don't say that I look like Bozo the clown. -Bryton

You should put your hair in pigtails! -Jordan

Ew. -Bryton

At the state fair, I saw this food cart and on the back where nobody could see there was a picture of a little boy in a Superman costume, and he was eating a corndog.  The corndog was, like, this far from his mouth and he had his mouth open really wide, and I'm just like "No Little Timmy!  Don't do it!!" -Bryton

I love the spider web!  You get to watch small children be tortured! -Pastor Bill

It was kind of comical.  A guy with a bowler hat, and welding goggles with his lips and teeth stain with mulberries. -Emaline

If you die of death I'll kill you. Mulberry Man\ Anna

This is totally worth whatever parasites that are in my body right now. -Pastor Bill

I’m taking my pants off!!-Emaline

May your day be as beautiful as a unicorn farting rainbows!-Carly

I’ve barfed up enough barf to fill the state capital!-Emaline

John Pearson is stupid!-Carly

Kill me now!!!!-Emaline

It gets old, sitting there for ten minutes listening to John go ‘H-h-h-hey!’.  I’m just like:  UH!!  Kill me!- Emaline

Irony. The opposite of wrinkly.-Carly