Run 635
A-ho(y) Mates,
We floated the river yesterday on a Hash Rash/Flash with twenty-eight Waterlogged Hounds in attendance. The Hares (Mama and STD) chose a nice stretch of cool refreshing water for their Trail and had all bases covered with Hash logistics and Hash beer.........there was no way to fault Hash Mismanagement on this Trail as several Hashers helped with transportation, beer, ice, inflation of floats, and ensuring we had a fun and safe adventure.
Delivery Boy and I operated a Hash convenient store on the river with beer, jello shots, beef jerky, 50-cent hot dogs, big gulp drinks and slushies, ice, rope, cigarettes, chips and snacks, a boat dock, and even water taxi transportation. Using my Pakistani accent I again displayed the ingenuity and hard work of a minority immigrant who can live the American dream one convenient store at a time. Some Hounds claimed I had an Indian accent and was charging to much, but believe me.....my accent was pure Pakistani.
Thanks again to Delivery Boy for bringing his Hash canoe to ensure we could transport all the supplies down river.
Our DFL of the day was Chips a Ho who was attending his grandmother's 97th birthday party, but although he set sail late he paddled like a pirate being chased and caught up with us at the "Rope Swing" Hash Halt and Beer Stop. All Hounds watched as if they were awaiting a car crash which was certain to happen when lubricated Hashers swing from a rope tied to a tree limb. Two Hundred Fifty CC and No Name Chris displayed excellent Hash leadership on the Hash Trapeeze, earning a score of 8.5 from the judge (The RA). Unfortunately, STD, Cum Union and D.U.M.B. who were nervously humming "Swing Low" prior to their launch did indeed "Swing Low" and face-plant into the river just beyond the river bank (thank the Hash Gods).......although Cum Union did suffer a foot/ankle injury on his circus vault........he is expected to recover.
The Flotilla of Fun continued as the Hounds lazily floated toward the rapids, rocks, and in some places through shallow water. More Hash Halts, socializing, and Hash shenanigans kept everyone in good spirits and we had plenty of beer. The Hounds, being of selfish nature, kept yelling for more jello shots, but that "Jello Boat" had left the port a long time ago up river. Hash Rule: No matter how many jello shots you bring on Trail, you will always run out......and that is the honest to God Hash Gospel.
As the Hash Armada began to break into small craft flotillas the Gervais Street Bridge came into view and all Hashers made it safely to shore although a few flotation devices had suffered from being roughed up on the river. With all Hounds back to the start a few were transported back to the zoo to retrieve their vehicles while the remaining Hashers played hide the beer from Ranger Rob of the park service police. With all Hounds in, many shedding their wet and wild Hash attire and slipping into something more comfortable, the Hounds Circled up to tell lies and war stories about their harrowing sea adventure and how they aimlessing drifted for what seemed like hours.
We welcomed some Hash visitors......Jugs from Wrightsville Beach NC H3, who served as SongMeister for the day, and Scrotch Rocket......a former Pinelake (Atlanta) Hasher who now resides in Asheville, and Just Sarah and Just Glen from Charlotte. We welcomed two Virgins (Bob Marley Man) and Scrotch Rocket's guest who was aptly named Drama Queen Bitch 2.0. Our GM for the day was KBF, who kept forgetting his lines, and we recognized our infamous Backslider, Dr Beefheart, who brought his own cohort for the Hash Trail.
We presented Hash Name Necklaces to Foaming Head and D.U.M.B........Worst Dressed River Rat was Twatanic.......best River Hash Display went to Spider Woman, a.k.a. AFN........and STD celebrated her 25th Trail with Columbian H3.
Following Circle many of the Hashers went to the Carolina Ale House for food and beverages. All in all it was a near perfect HashTrail on the river.......plenty of sun, plenty of beer, plenty of refreshing cool water and 28 enthusiastic Hashers soaking up the sun, suds while yelling for "More Jello Please". Only one injury sustained (Cum Union) and one fight (STD jumped on Chips A Ho's Micro-Chip) and pinned him in a Hash record of three seconds. Thanks again to the Hares, Mama and STD for organizing this event.
Our next Columbian H3 Trail will be Sunday August 7th with a start at Utopia on Rosewood Drive (at the Jim Casey's Fireworks Store). The Hares are Orville Redencocker and a No Name Virgin Hare.
Keep your Hash shoes dry and I will see you on Trail and in the Circle. On On!