The lump in the bed made an incoherent mumbling noise, which ended on a squeak as Jay prodded her with a stick. Acacia Byrd pulled the sheets down and glowered at her onetime partner. Jay just beamed.
"We have to stop meeting like this - people will talk."
"What are you doing here, Jay?" Acacia demanded. "It's been ten years, can't you just leave me alone?"
Jay pouted. "Oh, you know you don't mean that, Acy. Think of all the fun we've had since!"
Acacia scowled. "Don't call me Acy. And what fun? That Jaycacia twit? This is not my idea of fun!" She shook her head and sat up, rubbing her eyes. "I suppose she's back again?"
"For once, no," Jay said. "This is something else. A romance novel."
Acacia stared. "We're in a romance novel?"
"Not as far as I know," Jay said. "One's just been published - Fifty Shades of Somethingorother?"
"I've read it," Acacia muttered. "It's not very good. So?"
"Apparently it's just a Twilight fanfic with all the names changed, aaaaaaand I got an email from, wow, from over a hundred agents asking us to-"
"But you didn't even-"
"No. A thousand times no. We're retired, Jay. No more PPCing."
"Okay." Jay shrugged. "That's what I thought you'd say. Now, onto more important business."
Acacia's eyebrows went up. "There's more?"
"There sure is... you read romance novels?"
The flying pillow hit her neatly in the head. "Just go downstairs and start the coffee, Jay."