Intentional communities such as My Space, Facebook, on-line dating services and other emerging social media are causing concern that traditional family values are being compromised by the new technology. Emerging social media is causing a cultural lag because it is so new that people are confused and do not yet know how to address issues raised by it. It is a growing phenomenon, Facebook has 400 million users and My Space has 125 million (Arrington, 2010). On-line dating has lost its social stigma as more people join the communities every day, for instance Match.com boasts 20,000 new members every single day. Media, educators, and family members are concerned that the time consumed by emerging social media is weakening family bonds.
This paper will explore both positive and negative aspects of social networking over the internet and demonstrate that emerging social media is a benefit to society as a whole and can be used to strengthen social bonds, with reservations of some abuses that must be addressed by individuals and families to protect themselves.
Facebook, Twitter, My Space, Match.com, E-Harmony, J-Date, Chemistry.com, the list is endless. People are spending a great deal of time building profiles and sharing more information on profiles that only take about two minutes to read (Fiore, Taylor, Zhong, Mendelsohn, & Cheshire) than previous generations spent revealing to their closest friends over decades. It is harder to escape the electronic leash as people try to keep up with family, friends, and business networks via websites. Those who are familiar with the internet approach it with let the buyer beware mentality. Those in society who are less familiar with the internet tend to see the trends as an encroaching evil.
Facebook can allow families separated by job re-locations and college to keep in touch with one another. It is a free and easy way to on-line chat and share photos. Social networks such as LinkedIn can provide employment opportunities. The benefits can outweigh the risks but it is vital that people are taught to be wary of on line encounters. Children especially are vulnerable and must be made aware of how to deal with cyber bullying and what to do to prevent personal harm caused by on line encounters.
Media stories of stalking, cyber bullying and murder are constantly making headlines and causing people to wonder if the emerging social media is of any benefit at all. For example, on January 12, 2010, Phoebe Prince, a fifteen year old girl who relocated to South Hadley Massachusetts from Ireland, killed herself as the result of bullying. Besides physical confrontations she was also cyber bullied via text messaging and on her Facebook page. Nine juvenile students are being charged with violating Phoebe Prince’s civil rights and physically harming her (Oliver, 2010). In 2005, Taylor Behl 17, a Virginia Tech college student, was murdered by a man she met on line, Benjamin Fawley, 38 (Parsons, 2005).
In 2009, twenty percent of 4th through 8th grade students admitted to being cyber bullied, and twenty percent of the students surveyed admitted to committing acts of cyber-bullying (Cyberbullying Research Center , 2010). The girls most often spread rumors and lies; the boys posted videos or embarrassing photos over the internet. Phoebe Prince’s case is not as rare as we would hope; the only rarity is the prosecution of those responsible. It may be that her case was especially brutal or it may be that so many cases have emerged that parents and prosecutors are beginning to see the trend and that it must be dealt with in order to take as stand against it. One blogger on the Cyber-bullying research website made a comment that there is no escape from bullying thanks to new technology. Before the use of the internet adolescents could escape or find a safe haven at home. Now the internet broadcasts to everyone they know and most do not seek help from an adult. When children do go to an adult for help, most adults do not know how to handle the situation.
Children are vulnerable on social networking sites that are used by predators. Their use of the internet should be monitored by their parents. They should be warned not talking to strangers includes on line chat rooms.
Adults are also vulnerable when using on line dating. Many people lie on their profiles and internet dating is an easy way for a dishonest person to cheat on their spouse; a lot of users on the on line dating services are married, and some are predators. Before signing up the buyer would do well to read reviews of the service. One gentleman said the only two ladies he ever met on Jdate.com that were nice were not Jewish. Christians who use Match.com a dating service that claims to be a Christian service geared toward marriage has many reviews stating their partner, had multiple profiles in multiple cities and were already married. The Russian Embassy has a warning posted that if anyone is asking you to bring money to visit it is a Russian on line dating scam (2010 PC World Communications, Inc., 2008). In Japan dating services have a stigma of date rape and compensated dating and police blame it for a rise of assault against teenage girls (Fiore, ROMANTIC REGRESSIONS: An Analysis of Behavior in Online Dating Systems, 2004)
Online dating services are popular. Jdate.com is advertised on a huge billboard in Times-square.
(Lee-Parritz, 1993)According to Rabbi Zev Wineberg of Chabad Lubavitch of Long Island City, internet dating is a very good resource for single Jews. Given the growing problem of intermarriage, he believes that every resource available to help bring Jews together romantically is a welcome development.
People are trying on line dating because they are waiting to get married. High School and college no longer is where people find a partner. Many people are divorced with children at home. On line dating with its skewered profiles, and no background checks make it difficult to use and time consuming. Some may say so time consuming it keeps you from meeting a romantic partner. Of all the social networks on line dating is the most ineffective. It would do well for companies to do background checks and find better ways to match. It works well in India for families who are brokering marriage based on economic and other arrangements than it does to find a love match (Fiore, ROMANTIC REGRESSIONS: An Analysis of Behavior in Online Dating Systems, 2004).
Facebook and other social networks such as LinkedIn are more beneficial than on line dating. In a study done at Michigan State University over a three year period on MSU Facebook users it was discovered that college students who used Facebook had higher bridging social capital (Dubner, 2008). Facebook is useful to strengthen weak ties with associates and acquaintances and network. Information can also be leveraged on Facebook by non-profits and activist groups as well.
Not only individuals but companies are using social network sites to strengthen their customer base and advertise. My employer, a major insurance company, for instance has developed a Facebook, You Tube and My Space “on line presence”. Recently the region where I work has developed a blog for employees which are all about sharing emerging social media stories. This week classes in a seminar format were offered all about social media to all employees. As one of the leading insurance companies in the United States the company is waking up to opportunity to advertise itself to younger buyer and display its community outlook to the world via the internet.
Social media and emerging intentional networks are here to stay. People are dispersed by work; both the daily job and distance traveled due to work, and can use the internet to reconnect. Families are able to share and chat even while serving in Afghanistan via Facebook and other media devices. Weak ties with work associates can be strengthened by ‘befriending’ via Facebook. As more people spend time on line making a social connection is a worthwhile pursuit. The human need for face to face communication is not going to go away because of social media. We will still get up from Skype conferences and Facebook chat to talk to a real human being.
(Keplesky, 2007)The internet also has provided a strong sense of community. Niche interests, through the internet, become huge online communities, with their own voices and leaders. With all of the political, social and environmental anxiety in the world today, younger generations are turning away from established authoritarian figures.
Emerging social networking is part of society. It is fun and exciting to be part of a growing on line community. While enjoying the benefits it is important to protect ourselves from those who abuse technology to harm others. Children are especially vulnerable. Educators and parents must be proactive before faced with a cyber bullying and be prepared to deal with it. Resources such as I-Space and Cyber-bullying Research center should be used by parents and schools so they can have rules and procedures in place and not be caught off guard. For example, recently in Rutherford county schools police officers and public officials addressed the high school and middle school students on how texting and on line profiles and chat rooms were used by predators. This kind of proactive education should be placed into schools to allow students to understand what to do before it happens to them. Adults too should seek real information and tips on how to use on-line services in safety.
Conclusion
Facebook and My Space and other on line communities do give a sense of belonging. Weak ties can be strengthened. People who are mere acquaintances at work can get to know each other better via Facebook and by finding common ground become friends instead of acquaintances. Cyber friends can be a network of information that can help us be better informed of each other’s interests. Our lives can be improved with social media. We can connect over distance and share common ground. We can learn of common causes and even join political movements on line. We can find a voice and unite our voices with others.
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