A Mighty Fine Date
To get more out of each date we make the following suggestions:
- Stay positive! This is not the time to tell
the other what he or she has done wrong. Instead focus on positively investing in one another with words and actions.
- Be future focused. Don’t concentrate on
past failures. (It’s okay to remember past successes).
- Talk about your relationship. Do not talk
about your job, kids, in-laws, and so on unless it’s part of a love talk menu topic.
- Give a gift of love. Some menu items will
excite you more than others. For the less exciting ones, find the positive aspects.
- Don’t force it. If you get on a negative
track, stop that discussion. Move on to another topic that you both feel good about.
- Use good communication skills. Be prepared for some surprises and new insights about each other. This exercise can open new opportunities for growth and intimacy in your relationship. The following are several tips for sharing:
- Be Honest, yet never unkind
- Remember to start your sentences with “I” and let your partner reflect back on you.
- Be specific and positive.
- Have fun!
Love Talk Menu
Talk about your own “love story.”
Share with each other what you remember about the following:
• The first time I saw you
• Our first kiss
• Our favorite dates The first we talked about marriage
• Our wedding day
• The first place we lived together
• Some of our happiest memories
Main Course Questions
• What are 3 things that are great about our relationship?
• What is one thing that is fine about our relationship but could be better?
• What is one thing I could personally do to energize our relationship?
Emotions are sometimes difficult to share.
Focus on your positive emotions and take turns sharing, “How do I make you feel when…”
• I give you a compliment?
• I make a sacrifice for you?
• I reach out and touch you?
• I express appreciation for what you do?
• I surprise you with something nice?
• I smile at you?