Stop! You trying to frame that photo? Don’t drop it off at the frame store. They’ll take forever and the prices are ridiculous! Call me. Bethesda Maryland, Speed Framer. I’ve been framing items quick as bullets for over 5 whole years.

You bought that poster for the movie Y Tu Mama Tambien? I’ll frame it quick as lightening. Pronto!

You don’t have to leave your house, if you don’t wanna. I’ll come to you. I’ll come to your home. To your place of employ. To the nail salon. To your country home. I’ll frame something while you wait in line at the unemployment office. I can frame on any surface and I travel light. I even have a framing supply utility belt. Neat, huh? Pretty fashionable too. Custom ordered from the Bananas Republic.

I’ll frame just about anything in under five minutes. You name it. I’ll frame it. Time me.

See? (she holds up a framed canteloupe). That canteloupe looks tastier in a frame. (a child goes to grab it). Uh uh, child. This melon’s now art. No touchies.

You need a large frame job done right over night? I’m your guy. I’ll come to your home in the middle of the night and frame the shit out of all your family photos. Without waking the dog or your loved ones. You won’t even have to ask. Just look at me right and I’ll know.

I’m better than those cocksure nutless doorknobs over at Fast Frame. I beat them in speed. I beat them in quality. And I beat them in looks.

So remember. When you framing needs need framing speeds, call Bethesda Maryland. I’m frameous!