Combating the Myths of Only Children

Danna Titus

Brigham Young University

Combating the Myths of Only Children

For over 100 years, researchers have believed that only-children would fare negatively when compared to their peers that come from multi-child families (Mancillas, 2006). Current research has found that, despite common misconceptions, only-children receive the same benefits through peer-interactions as children with siblings do through sibling-interactions, are more similar to children from multi-child families than they are different and have positive parent-child interactions (Falbo & Polit, 1986).

                Only-children receive similar positive benefits that others receive through sibling-interactions through peer interactions (Mancillas, 2006). Learning experiences (imitation and modeling) that only-children are assumed to be missing are better learned through their relationships with peers (Wishart, 1986). The sibling-child interaction is less effective at a younger age at which time children are more likely to follow their peers (Kitzmann, Cohen & Lockwood, 2002; Mancillas, 2006; Wishart, 1986). While some aspects of the sibling relationship can help promote healthier learning of these skills, much of it depends on the quality of sibling relationships (Wishart, 1986). Higher quality relationships with peers can be created (because of age similarities) and therefore only-children do not suffer from the lack of sibling relationships (Kitzmann, Cohen & Lockwood, 2002 & Mancillas, 2006). There are also no major differences between the number of friends or quality of friendships between children with and without siblings (Mancillas, 2006; Rosenberg & Hyde, 1993 & Wishart, 1986).

                Despite common beliefs, only-children are more similar to children with siblings than they are different (Falbo & Polit, 1986). It must be noted, though, that only-children are only similar to children that have one or two siblings and not three or more (Falbo & Polit, 1986; Wishart, 1986). As they are an only-child they can be viewed as the first-born and the last-born in the family (Falbo & Polit, 1986). As they fulfill both roles, it is often assumed that they carry the same stereotypes that are attached to each of those roles and would be unique when compared to peers with siblings (Falbo & Polit, 1986; Wishart, 1986). Only-children are much like last borns because they are not overpowered by any subsequent children but are also like firstborns because they receive their parents’ undivided attention (Riggio, 1999). This idea of only-children being unique in their family role lends itself to outcomes like leadership skills on the one end and self-centeredness on the other (Falbo & Polit, 1986; Riggio, 1999; Wishart, 1986). Still, studies have shown that only-children are not unique in their family role. Only-children are more similar to other first borns than different (Riggio, 1999). Only-children are no more leaders or self-centered than children with siblings (Falbo & Polit, 1986; Riggio, 1999).

                Lastly, only-children have no less quality relationships with their parents than those of children from multi-child families (Falbo & Polit, 1986). Despite this, many people believe that only-children do not receive the same positive parent-child relationships as children from multi-child families. This idea is driven from the fact that a high percentage of only-children come from broken homes or homes where both parents are working (Veenhoven, 1989). As with any child, if the parent-child interactions are not high-quality, parents are likely to see negative results in their children (Mellor, 1990; Veenhoven, 1989). Only-children are able to spend more one-on-one time with their parents, which will fare positively for them (Brody, Stoneman & McCoy, 1994). The parent-child relationships in only-child families, if high-quality, can and will affect the child more positively than negatively (Hetherington, 1994).

                It can be seen that despite many negative stereotypes surrounding only-child families, research shows that in many domains, only-children will fare just as positively as children from other family sizes (Falbo & Polit, 1986; Mellor, 1990; Brody, Stoneman & McCoy, 1994). Only-children can receive sibling-interaction benefits through peer relationships, are more similar to children with siblings than different and benefit from high-quality parent-child interactions.