English- Diary Entries

Niang, 1942

I could not believe it, I had hurt my little baby just because of a family reunion. My lovely little baby had been separated from me for 6 months, it is saddening to know that I have missed a very important part of her life, she learned to jabber away in fluent mandarin and she also learned how to walk. Aunt Baba had been assigned to take care of my baby while I was away. It was a horrible mistake, since I had not seen her for 6 months I could not resist calling her towards me, she was dressed up very nicely in pink silk trousers, a matching jacket and a beautiful pair of pink cloth shoes. As I ushered her towards me she just ignored me. I was upset and frustrated, and clearly it could be seen by many people as Aunt Baba has unwrapped a candy from the candy tray and waved it  in front of my precious little baby, as soon as Aunt Baba held it up in front of my baby’s face. My beautiful little girl plodded quickly towards Aunt Baba, before she could get hold of the candy Aunt Baba placed it in my hands hoping the candy would attract my daughter, but she simply became annoyed and ran towards the candy dish causing it to tip over. At this point I was very frustrated as I had only wanted a little cuddle, but I was denied. I knew i should not have left her in Tianjin, I should have taken her with me to Shang Hai. It was too late now I could do nothing about it. I felt heartbroken as little sister said directly to my face. ‘Don’t want you, don’t like you go away.’ As a hush fell upon the room, I felt surprised and hurt. I picked her up gently hoping to calm her down. She scratched my neck and hit my arms telling me to put her down. As she scratched she held on to the string of my pearl necklace, the pearls scattered across the floor, it was painful to watch. It was as if millions of dollar notes were floating away gently in the breeze minding their own business. This was proving too much for me. I gave a stinging slap across my baby’s face. I stared at the dark red mark on the side of her face and I soon realized what I had done.

English- Diary Entries

Aunt Baba, Autumn 1941

As soon as Adeline got home from school I noticed a shiny silver medal dangling on her left breast pocket. I asked Adeline and she replied in a proud and confident voice. ‘It’s something special Mother Agnes gave me, she called it an award.’ Adeline said while fiddling with the medal. I was thrilled with her accomplishment as she had only started school just a week before. Adeline took out a large, brown envelope from her bag, reached into the depths of it and handed me a certificate as she climbed on to my lap. There was no Chinese on the certificate, just English and French. I was still pleased with her and hugged her. “One day, you will be able to teach me how to read this.” I said happily to Adeline as I gave her another hug. I realized her accomplishments were very special and it would help her get into good schools and give her a better future. I walked over to the door and shut it close. ‘Why did you do that?’ Adeline asked. I replied to her only saying that I didn’t want anyone to come into the room as I put her certificate in my safety box. I took a small gold key from a peice of string hanging of my neck. A small click was the only thing that was to be heard in the quiet room. I placed the certificate underneath my jade bracelet, pearl necklace and my diamond watch. I watched Adeline stare in appreciation. I could tell that she thought her certificate was just as precious as my jewelry. That’s because Adeline was my world, she was just as precious as my jewelry.