Recognizing the Signs of True Love
Love is a feeling that leads us at every moment to ask ourselves many questions. Gone are the moments of seduction, of conquest, the stages where we approach each other to get to know and recognize each other.
Inevitably arriving at the bend of a return to the everyday reality of life, these phases of doubt or personal questioning where one needs to be sure of the feelings that one experiences.
Sometimes we convince ourselves that it's the right person with whom we want to build our future, sometimes we console ourselves for having finally found someone with whom we want to start a home, sometimes we get enthusiastic, and We see each other for many years together.
In any case, we decide to invest ourselves in this relationship
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because we want the best and that it lasts, and we take this unknown hand stretched out towards us to hold it and squeeze it even harder a little more, each daydreaming of a happy future. But, in our heads, we always hear this inevitable question: is he or is she, my true Love?
Does this mean that there are several types of Love: fake, fundamental...? It seems strange to us to think that we may have chosen someone but that there maybe someone else who would be our true Love, the big one, the real one! How can we doubt it before fully committing? So what are the criteria for this true Love with a capital V?
How not to be mistaken, believe, and hope? How can we give up a possible beautiful story without knowing if this will be our true Love or if these are only criteria we put in our heads through the fantasy of our idealizations?
Let's try to list together some necessary parameters by leaving the requirements of the perfection of a relationship, going above all the first place to the strength of the feelings felt. Let's start with this first step: from 0 to 10, how do you rate the Love you feel for the other spontaneously, without cheating, without lying to yourself, from the bottom of your heart, and not with your ego? and your pride in what Love should be?
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Then justify the score given to the chosen one of your heart. If it is ten, why? If it's less, what makes him lose points? …If you can't do it, it subconsciously shows something you don't want to see. Perhaps even there, at the moment, you decide not to play the game because you prefer to tell yourself that it seems absurd to you and that you shouldn't go all the way! Loving only a little at the start of a relationship is not a big deal. You have to allow yourself time for discovery without the risk of disappointment, that is to say, by telling stories and turning a blind eye to what you don't want to see for fear of disillusionment. Isn't it better to ask the right questions so as not to run the risk of making mistakes and fooling yourself?
The meeting between the two worlds is not necessarily easy. The other who comes towards us is as he is! A period of "taming" is necessary! What is seen outwardly in the other necessarily masks what we do not yet know about him: his habits, his associations, his tastes, his quirks, his ways of being or acting. The beginning of a love story is based, above all, on the intensity of what you feel, to be ready to accept your personal life story fully.
In the first weeks, we present everything necessary in our lives: our family, our friends, our personal and professional activity, our complicated past, our desires, and our aspirations. A long moment of exchanges and listening where everyone reveals themselves to know each other better! This phase is essential and determines everything else.
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Moreover, it is pretty standard.
Everything that we don't say becomes a gray area, a way of not telling the truth of who we are, of pretending that we are in a way when it's not true. ! It's pretty risky to start a relationship without offering yourself to the other in complete transparency. If we can't confide in each other, we can ask ourselves why we choose not to show ourselves precisely as we are? Out of modesty, mistrust, pride, fear, lack of self-confidence, or others?
It is clear that one cannot play a role indefinitely and that sooner or later, the true personality of each one ends up appearing. So isn't it better not to hide who you are so as not to create false hopes or ambiguity! It is always more difficult, even destructive, to be fooled by personality and real identity!
Describing oneself in its authenticity is the only way to start a relationship well to hope to build a solid and lasting relationship. This, therefore, includes long hours of intimate confessions where the other wants to listen to you to know everything about you and where you leave no space filled with unspoken words or pretense.
All truth is not good to say, but it guarantees commitment from one to the other! It is a vital sign of this common desire to build healthy foundations for a relationship. Revealing yourself completely erases all those little fears of imperfections that you fear the other person cannot understand! Being sincere is proof of a desire for truth, which is the surest basis of a romantic relationship.
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The conspiracy that develops over time in a couple is won by the strength and gentleness of this desire to know the other so well that each of these sighs becomes like signs of what he needs as encouragement, comfort, and support at all times and vice versa.
When the maturity of the relationship sets in, we no longer need to talk; the other knows where we are in our feelings. He picks us up even before we fall. He wipes away our tears before they even slide down our cheeks. He kisses our souls when he feels that our inner sufferings imprison us.
If, at the beginning of a relationship, we don't give ourselves the necessary time to get to know the other better by mapping their life story through the tiny debris that clutters their mind. Sooner or later, everything that is broken in him will eventually impact the quality and strength of feelings! We will never be able to build a real relationship.
With confidence, every day and every second! Nothing is ever acquired. Reducing a relationship means giving it a better chance of flourishing in its scalability! Drop by drop, let the relationship drink from the hollow of our feelings which grow and blossom through our life projects! To be in Love is to offer yourself to the other unconditionally and as you are, not as you would like them to believe you are. . When a person comes to take shelter in the hollow of your heart, it is not only a refuge to share, it is above all a cozy nest to consolidate gently.
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When someone offers you their arms to snuggle up with, don't forget that it is to them above all that they are opening this corner of happiness, to themselves and their wounds. He is not your savior but the one who saves him from his cracks!
This strong bond that all couples desire does not come by magic. It is strengthened like a receiver that must convey the balance of what is experienced! It is necessary to maintain coherence internally and externally. If from the outside, that is to say, in the eyes of others, the relationship seems solid and robust, from the inside, it is also vital that it be nurtured!
How do we live the relationship with the other from the inside? That is to say, outside of everyday life, of relationships, of children, of the home, how are these feelings experienced in the intimacy of the couple, when the light from the external spotlights goes out, when facing face to face, we find ourselves naked in the truth of our couple?
What are the sensations that invite tensions and tensions: discomfort, imprisonment, incomprehension, coldness, distance, or emotions: warmth, laughter, pleasure, confidence, collaboration...? Are you better off in the privacy of your personal space, or do you always prefer to interact with others? What does this show?
This is the key to recognizing the true nature of shared feelings. If the other needs you to exist in the eyes of others to be proud to love you, we can already see the flaws in the relationship.
Bringing your awareness to your relationship experience as a couple allows you to observe everything that seems dysfunctional, what needs to be improved, all the lost space to fill...Are you fully present in the other and vice versa? Is it available to what you feel? Who am I in his eyes: a foil, a springboard, a lack of being filled…?
Opening up to the unknown in a relationship is like embarking on an adventure that takes you out of your comfort zone. Only fixed ideas can limit the deployment of a couple and its full potential! What will you discover about yourself and each other?
A couple for two is a solid communication bridge between others, life, and the world. Filled with challenges and moments to go through with joy or difficulty, this relationship is sensitive to anything that could influence it positively or negatively! Like a vast network woven from all your life experiences that offer so many situations to discover, master, explore…
All this field of experience is frightening when you constantly change partners, so many worlds to visit, to oppose the one in which you evolve! These fears push you not to give yourself up entirely but only a little! It is essential to ask your gaze to recognize the places in you unavailable to a relationship: the tense places that do not let the heat through, like the curtains still drawn on specific areas of your life that do not wish to reveal the buried suffering.
To feel true Love is not so easy. Opening your heart to the other is not enough if you keep the key! It is indispensable to have the intention not to leave any detail forgotten, neglected or hidden.
True Love is cultivated like a magnificent garden where we see the most beautiful flowers bloom, with the need from time to time to clean it of weeds that invite themselves despite all your efforts or of the drought that appears. When you forget to water it with your time and patience, this Love grows petal by petal, leaf by leaf, with the wind blowing to purify what might pollute its beauty.
Suppose, at the beginning of a relationship, everyone locks himself in, even unconsciously, for fear of giving himself up or not corresponding to an advocated ideal. In that case, trust can only be earned over time with the desire to walk together towards happiness! The question you should ask yourself to recognize true Love is how much you love your partner? Up to what limit not to cross in respect of oneself? Here again, starting with self-love is a safe bet!
Before wanting to live a true love to take care of the other, if we first learned to love each other even more!