Very long story short i was once a depressed person ! like I couldn't even get up out of bed because of being hurt or because of self harming myself a lot..I've honestly gone through so much. Every day I was depressed , Every minute i was hurt, Every second i was giving up.

It was impossible for me  to know what happiness felt like then.. But all I want to do is to meet my new life and start all over. Some days are just  like volcanoes.My throat burns.My eyes stings,I always feel like throwing up i scream into a pillow And other days i can feel the cold hands of death also horrible isolation

It’s just i miss me, The old me, The happy me, The bright me, The smiling ‘ me, The laughing “me”.

Nowadays... Well obviously my life has not changed.. Misery has stuck with me for a very long time , im just confused as to if I can escape it or not?..

I receive Negative thoughts that are revealing something like “im not good enough” and i'm stuck in between the thoughts about whether I should leave or live in this miserable humanity..

I would rather walk in the dark alone then be surrounded by fake company..

I'm always blaming myself for all the things going wrong in my life , and the world in general is just the early stages , soon i graduate , into thinking i deserve nothing more than cold silent isolation.

Waking up with the fear of judgement , It's impossible to go to sleep , but even harder to wake up to reality.

It feels like everyone else is moving on with their lives while I am stuck here,in this hole that I pretty much can’t climb out of..The people you want in your life most of the time are sometimes the people you're best without.

People think that depression is sadness. People think that depression is crying. People think that depression is dressing in black. But people are wrong. Depression is the constant feeling of being numb. Being too numb to emotions , Being too numb to lie. You wake up in the morning just to go back to bed again…. Days aint really days there just annoying obstacles that need to be faced. And how do you face them? Through medication , through drinking , through smoking , through drugs , through self harm? When your depressed , you grasp onto anything to help you make it through the day… that's what depression is! Not sadness or tears. It's the overwhelming sense of numbness. And the desire for anything that can help make it from one day to the next.

After all, it turns out this is my LIFE.!!