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Matt Beard Art  Plein Air Documentation                                              

Artwork Title: STICK A FORK IN IT     

Size: 20” X 10”

Medium: Acrylic on Canvas  

Date Painted: 8-25


Base Price: $1 per sq. in.

Field Notes:

I’ve been on the road for a week and a half. I’ve slept in my van in grocery store parking lots, picking ticks off my face that must have crawled out of my painting gear as I slept. I’ve wrestled the sun and cursed at the wind. My back is tired, my feet ache, my lips are chapped, and the distinct itch of poison oak is catching up with me from a week of exposure. I’m heading home tomorrow, but today I am here.

The sun had grown tired of my grumbling and refused to join me for this last effort. The waters will not be illuminated today. The air is full of mist. My mind is full of other places I’d like to be. Home, mostly. But today I am here.

One last round with mother nature. It’s not a victory song, it’s funeral march, as Leonard Cohen would say, it’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelujah.

I long to see this coast in another light, on another day, and perhaps I will in the not too distant future. But today I am here, and I cannot deny this moment. There is joy in the muted earth, joy in the slow passage of time, joy in the rumble of ocean below.

But I also cannot deny the joy of completion. Stick a fork in it. I’m done.



Distance from Humboldt: $15 per county


Overnight Travel Required: $75

Sleeping in Van Required: $50

Tricky Urban Van Camping Required: $25


Paid Parking: Cost of Parking

Illegal or Questionable Parking Required: $50

Parking Ticket Incurred: Cost of Ticket

Private Land: $50

Posted No Trespassing: $100

Harassed by Authorities and/or Told to Leave: $150

Citation Incurred:  Cost of Citation

Fence/Gate Hopping: $50

Barbed Wire: $50

Blood: $50


Hauling Gear on Foot: $25 per mile

Off Trail Wilderness Tromping Required: $15

Climbing or Vertical Scrambling Requiring Use of Hands: $25

Full On Bushwhacking: $75

Poison Oak Observed: $15

Ticks Observed on Skin or Clothing: $25 each

Tick Bites: $150 each

Bee/Wasp/Insect Stings: $25


Wind Speed: $10 per mile per hour over 10mph

Lack of Shade: $50

Heat/Cold: $5 per degree over 70/ under 50


Excessive Public Conversations/Distractions: ranges from $25-$150



Able to Paint View from Back of Van: Subtract $50

Private Land With Permission (Your Land):  Subtract $250

Cold Beer and/or Snacks Delivered During or After Paint Session: Subtract $50

Fun Surf at Location Before or After Painting: Subtract $50

Room and Board for 1 week during a paint tour of your area: Subtract Everything!




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