STILL LIFE NO. 5, APPLES AND PEACHES

HILLARY - HILLARY

RING - PERFORMER A

MIRANDA - PERFORMER B

PROJECTOR (center text) - PERFORMER C

PROJECTOR (ring ladder) - PERFORMER D

PROJECTOR (miranda ladder) - PERFORMER E

CINTHIA (via booth mic) - CINTHIA

notes:

it is assumed that whenever hillary is speaking, performer C (center text projector) is also projecting verbatim. Any extra projections will be denoted with performer C having its own line. This convention is changed starting from 6.

HILLARY: Uh,

hey everyone.

Is this working?

Hopefully yes

or else these captions will get really wrong, fast.

Okay.

Hi everyone.

Welcome.

Uh.

Yeah.

So I’m Hillary.

I’ve been kind of working on a bunch of things.

Sort of.

I’ve been at least coming in every day.

So that’s been really cool.

…

Maybe let me tell you my goals.

…

Okay, my goals.

…

My goals have been to work on projection mapping:

HILLARY: Also mics.

And in ears.

Which are kind of really hard to use.

I thought they would be easy.

And I forgot to test them out before our run through today.

So this the … second… time I’m using them.

I didn’t memorize any of my lines so I kind of have no choice.

HILLARY:

At least everything’s talking to each other.

So that’s pretty cool.

PERFORMER C: …

HILLARY: Yeah. Um.

(Does PERFORMER C (PROJECTOR) pause during this section?)

HILLARY: Okay.

HILLARY: That’s all I’ve got…

HILLARY: These ladders were originally for me to climb but I’m kind of scared of heights so I probably won’t do that…

HILLARY: Uh…

Yeah.

So that’s all I got.

Um-

CINTHIA (via the booth): Hey Hillary.

HILLARY: Yeah?

CINTHIA: Can you say something else?

HILLARY: Uh

CINTHIA: Not that this matters. But you did spend all of your materials budget.

HILLARY: Oh yeah.

CINTHIA: So – no pressure or anything – it would just be nice to hear a bit more. Of your process, whatever you want to share. Just something.

HILLARY: Okay. yeah. (ad lib a bit until it becomes a little unbearable)

HILLARY: Um. Okay. These last two weeks… Okay maybe I can share some of the writing I’ve been doing?

CINTHIA nods in encouragement/makes an encouraging noise.

HILLARY: Okay so for context:

Two mondays ago, I decided that I should do a sort of “diary reflection”

every single day for the next two weeks.

I won’t read every single one because honestly, I’m afraid it’ll be a bit boring.

Uh, one second…

(HILLARY FLIPS THROUGH THE PAGES)

bear with me.

HILLARY: Nov. 10th (Day 1).

I was supposed to write this on Nov 10th. But I forgot. So this is actually me– on the 11th–pretending I am myself at the end of the day, yesterday:

Thinking ahead. For the presentation I think I want to do…

something

that has to do with an ad,

maybe I’m recreating an ad?

But I’m not really sure what kind of ad I should do.

I thought it would be funny to dress up like Steve Jobs. But I sweat easily so maybe no turtlenecks.

The other idea I had was less about the container.

It was just: Gowanus Canal.

I walk past it every time I’m on my way here when I take the L to the G and get off at Carroll street.

Gowanus Canal.

Site specific.

Anyways I think today was pretty productive.

I talked to Attilio

who suggested that maybe I should set up my materials first.

So I set up my in ear, my lav mic, plugged everything in.

I ate a burrito.

I had Cinthia help me put up the projector and connect it to my computer.

I plugged in the Roland Octacapture and then realized

I had no idea how to use it so then I googled

“How to use Octacapture”

and then I googled

"What is Octacapture"

And then I googled

“Mac how to connect Octacapture”

then I googled

“Mac how to check OS version”

PERFORMER C: (I now unfortunately have a Windows computer).

(PERFORMERS A AND B GET UP, THEY START TO MAKE THEIR WAY TO THE LADDER)

HILLARY:

…

Um yeah.

I got really frustrated with trying to find if the driver for the Octacapture has been downloaded already – and also really frustrated with trying to understand what a “driver” even is.

I set up the camera.

HILLARY: But I realized I don’t know how to remove lens off of a camera.

I went to get a matcha.

I thought again about what I should do.

(ad-libbed sort of) Oh god. The thought of sitting here and looking out and everyone’s just watching me. And they’re bored.

(PERFORMERS A AND B WAVE AT THE AUDIENCE FROM THE LADDERS, THEY HAVE SMALL LINES ABOUT SAYING HI)

(HILLARY DOES THE MOVEMENT FOR THE SYDNEY SWEENEY AD, looking at a monitor)

PERFORMER A: Oh, hi!!

PERFORMER B: Thanks so much for coming!

(PERFORMERS A AND B START TO EXCHANGE LADDERS)

PERFORMER A: Yeah, I mean– this whole process, has been really amazing. I just… (there is doubt here)

PERFORMER B: Am excited to see what happens! (there is a faked confidence here)

PERFORMER A: I think I know what I’m going to be doing.

PERFORMER B: The ad idea?

PERFORMER A: Yeah. Wait which ad?

PERFORMER B: Didn’t you say you wanted to recreate the Sydney Sweeney ad? But like because you’re doing it. It’s like, commentary on… the racist vibes of it…

PERFORMER A: What’s the commentary?

PERFORMER B: …

HILLARY: That’s day one.

1.1

HILLARY: Nov 11th (Day 2).

This morning before I came in, I picked up some old VHS tapes that my dad gave me to get digitalized.

(VHS tapes play)

So much of the tapes were just really small snippets. I really only remember two things:

there were videos of me reciting poems in perfect Chinese,

and videos of my whole family crabbing in a lake in New Jersey.

The way to do it

crabbing not speaking Chinese

is that you buy some chicken legs (not wings) from like any grocery store a few hours

before you go.

You leave it outside in the sun that whole time.

And then when you get there, you tie a piece of rope around the leg part

and lower it by the dock/wherever’s dark.

After a few minutes, you can pull it up - but this is really where it becomes a bit more of an art.

The trick is to pull slowly enough where the crabs don’t fall off.

And when you can start to see them from where you’re standing,

you use a net to scoop them up.

We used to eat them every month, during the time that these VHS tapes were recorded.

Well, my family, anyways. Not me.

I always felt bad for the crabs.

That’s it. That’s day two.

During this section, PERFORMER E (projector onto performer B) is verbatim.

PERFORMER A:

“CANAL FIT TO SWIM IN”

So says a Gowanus Bridgetender, “Oil Only Sediment of Years.”

“Nonsense you could have gone swimming in the canal yesterday noon when the tide was high, it was so clean. The water appears cloudy now because it is low tide and has been stirred up by passive boats.”

All this was vociferated by a bridgetender at the Ninth street Kotanus Canal draw-bridge this morning, when a by-stander observed that the water did not seem very clean despite the new flushing system. He went on:

“For the first time in a long while the canal has not been dredged out this year. The water in the canal yesterday at high tide was as clean as it is in the bay, That oil you see on the top is what comes up from the bottom from the sediment of many years. It will be fully six months before the water is permanently clean,” he concluded

During this section, PERFORMER D (projector onto performer A) is verbatim.

PERFORMER B:

Okay so every morning I have to take the L to the G to Carroll street to get here. And then off of Carroll street, I usually will walk down to Union street, I think. I kind of base it off of this one poster that they have hanging for smoothies. So I know that once I see strawberry banana, I can turn right. And I’ll walk over the Gowanus Canal. One time, when I was walking home from a Mitu meeting, it was drizzling. And I looked over at the water and there were so many crabs, swimming. I’ve never seen that before–not even in freshwater lakes in Jersey. They looked like they were dancing, and all of them were upside down. I’m pretty sure they were all swimming upside down. which was kind of crazy. But so now each time I go by the bridge I try to see if I can spot them. So this morning. Monday morning, the first morning of the two week studio weeks, I’m passing by the Gowanus canal and I look over to see if there are any crabs swimming in there, and my left airpod falls in. Yeah. It falls into the Gowanus Canal. I just watch it fall right in there. It doesn’t even make a plop sound. It probably makes something like a (sucking sound)

PERFORMER A & B exchange locations and start chicken legs (fake) on the pulley.

HILLARY: Nov 12th (Day 3)

Actually I didn’t even write anything for this day, because Yesterday night as I was walking home, I stopped to look at the Gowanus Canal.

It was drizzling and not yet fully dark so I could see pretty clearly, and there were all of these crabs.

Just swimming.

It was crazy because I had just been thinking about my grandparents and the version of myself that I was in those home videos.

And there, right in front of me, were crabs.

Like … what are the chances?

So I’m watching them for a really long time before I get an idea. I go to the Whole Foods. I buy a pack of chicken legs, and some cooking twine and I head right back to the bridge on Union street.

You wouldn’t even believe it. I caught four crabs. It was crazy. I brought them over to my partner’s place because we were going to have dinner together. But I didn’t tell them where I caught these crabs because I didn’t want them to get the ick. I told them I picked them up from food bazaar.

Crazy how life works. I really feel like my grandparents are watching over me.

That’s it. That was day three.

4.1

(Can we do newton’s cradle with the chicken thighs??)

PERFORMER A: Department of health Fish Consumption Advisory for the Upper Bay of New York Harbor, Applicable to the Gowanus Canal.

PERFORMER B: Specifically for Women under 50 & Children under 15

PERFORMER A: American Eel

PERFORMER B: DO NOT EAT

PERFORMER A: Striped Bass

PERFORMER B: DO NOT EAT

PERFORMER A: Blue Fish

PERFORMER B: DO NOT EAT

PERFORMER A: Blue Crabs

PERFORMER B: DO NOT EAT / DO NOT EAT TOMALLEY

HILLARY: Wait- what?

(HILLARY SCROLLS ON PHONE, JUST TO THE COMMENTS SECTION: https://pardonmeforasking.blogspot.com/2017/06/would-you-eat-crabs-caught-in-gowanus.html)

PERFORMER B: Nov 13th

PERFORMER A: day four

PERFORMER B: On day four, I finally had a breakthrough.

PERFORMER A: It was almost unexpected, the way that it happened.

PERFORMER B: The breakthrough was good, but the whole day was great.

PERFORMER A: I started the day really on the right foot. When I came in – at 11 AM on the dot – the first thing I did was replace my airpod that fell into the Gowanus Canal.

PERFORMER B: You can’t actually replace single airpods –

PERFORMER A: Although that would be a nice business idea.

PERFORMER B: –so I just had to bite the bullet and order a new set of airpods.

PERFORMER A: They are so expensive.

PERFORMER B: Yeah, but luckily I had a lot of the budget for this remaining. So I used all of that up.

PERFORMER A: And then I’m sitting there, scrolling –

PERFORMER B: Scrolling is a part of Hillary’s process–

HILLARY: When I start to notice that there are a lot of things on Instagram about being Chinese. Like a lot of things. And I’m thinking about my grandparents and I’m thinking about the version of myself in the videos (my perfect Chinese). And I’m like. Wait. Is everyone finally embracing the stinky lunch aesthetic?

PERFORMER A: Hillary is bitter about this.

PERFORMER B: Hillary finds amusement in this.

HILLARY: So I came to the burning question: how can I be more Chinese? I did some searching online and stumbled upon this really old book: Becoming more Chinese in 10 days or less. And then I looked at my schedule. Less than 10 Dsays from now… today. The sharing. Wait, it’s perfect. That’s it. That was day four.

5.1

HILLARY: Day five, I stumble upon a ton of books in Chinese on Union street. I bring them into the studio.

I flip through every single page.

I don't know how to read Chinese but I know that if I believe I can read it, I will. That's day five.

5.2

HILLARY: Day six, I do some research and intel gathering. I ask myself: how did these instagram reels become popular and how do I market myself to also go viral? My instagram is my “career”- yes- but it’s also got little bits of my life sprinkled in. My Chinese (American) life. How do I capitalize on this?

5.3

HILLARY: Day seven, I follow Caren around all day.

CAREN: Wait I didn’t know that–

5.4

HILLARY: Day eight, I start dropping chicken legs in any body of water I can find. I live stream it all.

5.5

HILLARY: Day nine, I start to feel really dizzy.

BLACKOUT.

HILLARY (+ projector in paragraph form): I keep getting sent these instagram reels, I don’t know how to escape it. Each reel is about being Chinese and sometimes I can tell that the person writing it isn’t putting their heart into it. They're half-assing being Chinese and I just don't feel like that's really fair at all. I don't appreciate it at all. It’s morally wrong to half ass something like that and for the post to get so popular. They should save the viral posts for those who are fully committed. Like these ones:

(Hillary reads the ones out loud that Matthew sent while doing the sydney sweeney ad again)

*AUDIO HILLARY RECITING POEMS AS A CHILD*

PERFORMER C (in pinyin):

Hillary zài xīnzéxī (NEW JERSEY) zhǎng dà.

Tā de fùmǔ ràng tā qù zhōngwén xuéxiào, dàn tā sān nián hòu jiù chuòxuéle.

Tā de zhōngwén hěn chà.

Tā zuìjìn qùle zhōngguó.

Zài zhōngguó, tā bǎ “Gēzǐ” (pigeon) hé “píjiǔ” (beer) gǎo hùnle.

Tā gàosù biérén tā xǐhuān hē “Gēzǐ” (pigeon).

Tā bìng bù shìhé zuòwéi"Chinese"dàibiǎo rénwù.

“Representation” hěn zhòngyào.

wǒmen yīnggāi zhǎo gè gèng hǎo de rén.

Also, Hillary yě xǐhuān sāhuǎng.

Also, Hillary 也喜欢撒谎。

Also, Hillary likes to lie.

[ this is the text, not shown:

Hillary 在新泽西(NEW JERSEY) 长大。

她的父母让她去中文学校，但她三年后就辍学了。

她的中文很差。

她最近去了中国。

在中国，她把“炸鸽子” (pigeon) 和“啤酒” (beer) 搞混了。

她告诉别人她喜欢喝 “鸽子” (pigeon).

她并不适合作为"Chinese"代表人物。

“Representation” 很重要.

我们应该找个更好的人。

Also, Hillary 也喜欢撒谎。

this is the text in english, not shown:

Hillary grew up in New Jersey. Their parents tried to make them go to Chinese school but they dropped out after three years. They can barely speak Chinese. Actually when they went to China last time they confused pijiu (duck) with pijiu (beer) and told someone that they would like to drink pijiu (duck). They are ill fit to capitalize on their asian ness. Representation matters so maybe we should choose a better person to represent us. Also Hillary likes to lie. ]

Blackout.