Featured Art and Artists - Saguaro Man 2019:
Temple of Icarus - Principles in Motion
Radical Inclusion, Communal Effort, Participation
Radical Self Expression
Leave No Trace, Radical Self Reliance, Decommodification
Oaks and Merizona
The Goosby Relativity Cruiser
Artist - John Heathen Cheney
The Goosby Relativity Cruiser is a one of a kind space time rat rod built in 2354 by a shop called Wrecked Relativity Benders. It’s a classic old school space time machine with a manual clutch and steering levers for each dimension, no brakes, primitive quantum controllers, and analog speedometers for miles per hour and years per hour. It has an old 23rd century 4 quark turbo engine that runs on mojo. No one sells mojo any more, but whiskey and absinthe are reasonable substitutes. The cruiser runs better on absinthe, but whiskey is cheaper and easier to find most centuries.
Wrecked Relatively Benders was a loosely run shop. A mechanic named Bunky took the cruiser out on a run one night after drinking at the garage. He drank some of the mojo intended for the cruiser before taking off and crashed in late 1800’s Kentucky.
Bunky lost the cruiser to a local moonshiner named Goosby in a late night poker game a couple months later. Bunky was very drunk, but gave Goosby a quick driving lesson that night, then walked into the woods and was never seen again. Goosby was a crappy driver, which is understandable in the late 1800s. He had never seen a car, so a space-time machine with a multi-dimensional manual clutch was a challenge.
Goosby limited himself to cruising a few years forward or back until one fateful trip when he accidentally landed in his neighborhood in the early 1920s. The prohibition was going strong and Goosby quickly realized he could profit handsomely by smuggling his bootleg whiskey from the late 1800’s to the 1920’s. Goosby went home, ripped the original copper exterior off the cruiser to build a larger still, and also to make the cruiser less obvious when parked in the woods.
Bureau of Prohibition agents almost caught Goosby on one trip. He sped back to the 1800’s with bullets flying by as agents shot at him. Goosby was so shaken up that he hid the cruiser in a barn and never flew it again. He had a small fortune by then, so Goosby retired from bootlegging and started a hemp farm.
Goosby’s great grandson, Goober, found the cruiser over 100 years later. He was preparing to demolish an old barn and noticed the cruiser inside. Goober found a case of 1800’s bourbon under a seat, then pulled out the cruiser to look for more. He found whiskey bottles from several centuries, but they were all empty. Goober sold the cruiser to a “barn finds” podcaster who drove through the area a few weeks later.
This relativity cruiser is a rare find! Only a few 24th century relativity cruisers are known to exist, and this is the only rat rod. This one has unique alterations from its career of smuggling whiskey, and has been badly repaired in several centuries. The odometers show 23,000 miles and 15,000 years, but they can’t be trusted due to the cruiser’s unique build and illegal history. This story is uncorroborated, but is believed to be true because Goosby wrote about his adventures in a journal that was found in a lock box in the cruiser. The full journal tells a much longer and sometimes sordid story!