The Essential Guide for Young Women

You, Your Body and Sex

Sexual Expression: It’s More Than Just Penetration

• Sexual expression can include many things.
• Like anything, sex is an exploration and a learning - about yourself and about others. Treat it as an exploration vs trying to get it all right.
• There will be things that are fun & pleasurable, and things that are uncomfortable & embarrassing.
• It’s normal & OK to try something and then decide you don’t like it or change your mind.

Sexual Pleasure: What Feels Good Matters

• Take the time to know yourself and your own body through self awareness and self-pleasure.

• Not everyone likes the same thing when it comes to being sexual. Honor your needs.
• What you desire with one person may be different than what you desire with another.
• Sex is not all about the male orgasm. Your pleasure matters!

Consent & Communication: You Are in Charge of Your Body & Your Boundaries

• There are so many nuances to consent.
• Consent is a practice that we get better at with time.
• It is normal & natural to experiment to figure out what your boundaries are.
• It’s okay to change your mind. In fact, you probably will.
• When you’re clear and state your needs or boundaries, it is a gift to everyone else.
• When you’re under the influence of alcohol, weed, or drugs, your ability to actively consent is impaired.
• “Your body, your rules.” Period. This is crucial to remember.

Protection: Ways to Avoid Pregnancy and STIs/STDs (sexually transmitted infections or diseases)

• Besides the method of abstinence (the conscious choice to refrain from most sex),
• here are many contraceptive options.
• You can get STIs from, and in terms of the herpes v
• It’s important to note that no form of contraception is 100% effective in preventing pregnancy or STIs.
• That said, the most accessible way to prevent pregnancy is for the male to correctly and consistently use condoms. Condoms can also help reduce the exchange of sexually transmitted infections (though not always).
• Pausing to put on a condom does not need to break the mood. If any person refuses to use a condom, stay firm in your clarity of its importance. It’s your body. Otherwise, you can simply enjoy being sexual without penis penetration or oral connection.
• Other forms of contraception include: internal female condom, birth control pill, IUD non hormonal, IUD hormonal, diaphragm, the sponge. Additional barrier methods include dental dams and gloves.
• If a condom breaks or falls off, your options include over-the-counter emergency contraception within a day, and/or talking to a trusted adult and/or a health care provider, especially if you miss a period.
• Signs of having an STI are not always obvious. Getting tested when being sexually active is important.
• STIs are: chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, HPV (human papillomavirus), HSV (aka herpes simplex), HIV (. Just like any other infection in the body, such as a strep throat, they need to be treated.
• Some common signs of an STI are pain or sores on the vulva, a change in smell or discharge, lower abdominal pain. Always consult a healthcare provider.

Your Body: Personal Health is Important

• Remember to always wipe from front to back. Nothing from the anus should reach the vagina. This also includes during sexual play.
• Only use soap on your outer vaginal lips (where hair can grow) and not the inside of your vulva. Simply water is sufficient for the inner. Your inner vaginal area is self-cleaning, and its scent is natural and healthy.
• Avoid using scented tampons, pads, bath products or anything that touches your inner vaginal area as these are made with chemicals and can cause infections & irritations.
• Your partner needs to have clean hands and nails before touching you, and it’s OK to ask for that.
• After any sexual activity, wipe your inner vaginal area, and ideally pee very shortly afterwards. This can reduce getting an infection.
• Yeast infections are common and can be very uncomfortable. The general symptoms are an itchy vulva and thick discharge. It can come from leaving your vulva area damp (i.e. wearing a wet bathing suit or not wiping after being sexual). Treat with over-the-counter medicine. It’s best not to be sexually active while treating it.
• UTIs (urinary tract infections) are also common, especially after being sexual. You generally know you have a UTI when it hurts to pee, and/or when you feel like you have to pee often but nothing comes out. UTIs need to be treated promptly. There are over-the-counter treatments, but seeing your healthcare provider is best.

Final Thoughts

• You don’t have to do or wear or smell or look or act like anyone else. You are your own unique and extraordinary person. Honor your body, your preferences and your truth.
• Always keep in mind that not everything you see on Social Media is real or true.
• You are perfect as you are, at each inevitable stage of your growth & development as a beautiful, extraordinary female.

Other Topics Covered in my Courses and/or Individual Coaching Include:

• The female form & its unique variations (aka: our fabulous anatomy)
• Menstruation and self-care
• Body image & how it affect us all
• Self-pleasure and female arousal
• Sexual expressions & choices
• Healthy communication skills
• Self-regulation tools
• Knowing yourself & honoring others

* This is intended for AFAB (assigned female at birth) people and includes heteronormative language.

To learn more about my work or to share this Guide:

please go to Empowered-Daughters.com, or contact me at erin@empowered-daughters.com  

Erin Delaney, M.A.

Guiding Young Females to Live Empowered Lives and Make Informed Choices