What is Love?

        Growing up, love was all around me. Whether it was through my parents, siblings, boyfriends, or pets. The one question that always seemed to be present in my mind was “What is love?” Was it that tingling sensation in your stomach when you see a certain person? Is it that feeling of safety when you're in someone’s arms? Do we actually know what love is, or what it should be? I couldn’t tell you, but I thought I was in love once before.

–

        I smiled as I spotted my boyfriend across the common area at school. I walked over to the large table he was sitting at with my friend Randall.

Jacob smiled as he saw me and scooted over so I had room to sit. He was the most gorgeous man on the planet to me; average in height, lean, pale, bright blue eyes, and midnight black hair.

Randall sat opposite of us, looking down at his phone

        “Hey Amaya, do you want these pretzels,” Randall asked, holding out a bag of half eaten pretzels.

        “Sure, thanks I haven’t eaten all day,” I said, knowing the reason why.

        “I’m sure she does,” Jacob said, looking at me. My face fell and Randall looked at him incredulously.

        “Dude that’s not cool,” Randall exclaimed, his brown curly hair flopping into his face as he sat up.

        “Shut up, she’s my girlfriend not yours,” he replied, glaring at him with a vicious gaze.

        “Nevermind, I’m good, I forgot I had food,” I said, pointing to the sports bag sitting by my backpack.

        My boyfriend kissed my cheek and cuddled me for the rest of the class period.

        “I love you,” he grinned, looking into my eyes. A warm feeling flooded my chest, a smile on my lips

        “I love you too,” I replied, a blush creeping up my neck.

        I didn’t eat again till the next day.

–

        The phrase “Love at first sight” always had an effect on me. Annoyed, agitated, angry– call it what you will. I’m not saying it’s not real by any means. It happened to my parents when they were around my age, so why does it have this effect on me? To me, this phrase creates this near impossible image of what love should look like. The first time you see someone you immediately fall in love with them, which seems very shallow, as you are just going off looks. Love is, in fact, a feeling that a person gets towards someone. Really, the reason I hate this phrase is the bitter memories it resurfaces in my mind. So the question is, does love really last?

–

        “Hey Amaya did you see what Jacob posted on his story,” Andrea asks, walking onto the bus.

        “No I don’t have social media so I can’t see anything,” I said annoyed with the fact that I had gotten my phone taken away yet again.

        She holds her phone in front of my face and I see my bestfriend and my boyfriend together at a party wearing matching outfits with the caption “Hottest Girl on my Snap”.

        My heart drops and shatters on the floor, anger building up and running down my cheeks. She comforted me and told me I didn’t need him and that he didn’t deserve me (every friend’s words to a victim of a cheater.)

        “Our one year anniversary is in two days,” I said, with no emotion or feeling in my body.

The only thing circling my mind was the words he said to me just the day before.

“Really random question but what would you want to name our kids,” he asks, a smile on his face as he looks at me through the phone screen.

“I don’t know, I haven't thought about it yet,” laughing at the question.

“Hey, I’ll love you forever, you know that right?”

“You promise,” I smile happily.

“Always,” he says.

–

According to Pettri Matta, of Dreammaker.com, an average couple's wedding costs around twenty thousand dollars. The interesting thing about this wasn’t the amount of money it cost, but how long the average relationship actually lasts. As I continued reading, what I saw baffled me. About one in every three marriages end in divorce in the United States (Matta). Now I don’t know about anyone else but if I spent that much money for one day, I need to make sure my partner is who I want to spend the rest of my life with.

Another phrase that gets to me is “true love’s kiss”. Now come on, we've all watched at least one or two Disney princess movies where it ends with a true love’s kiss and a happy marriage. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love every single princess movie (except for Snow White, like, girl, you don’t even know his name and you just let him carry you to his castle). Has anyone else ever been skeptical about kissing someone the first time you see them? Do you know how weird that is?

–

Random kid: “Hey my name’s [insert name here].”

You: “It’s love at first sight.”

Random kid: “Actually I was just trying to tell you that you hit my car earlier.”

**You proceed to try and kiss them**

Random kid: "You know what I’m just gonna go, don’t worry about the car.”

**Runs towards the exit as fast as physically possible**

Talk about awkward interactions.

–

Just to put this out there, but apparently women take longer to actually fall in love. I don’t know about you, but this got me thinking. Men have 5% higher faith in their romantic feelings (but consider leaving their partners more) and women take longer to fall in love (Matta). I feel like it should be swapped to be quite frank. I feel like younger me, any time I would walk past a guy that looked at me for more than five seconds, would imagine the first five years of us dating. I could not tell you how many posters and action figures of boy band members that are stored in my attic.

What about the right amount of time to wait until you actually say the words “I love you”. I’ve seen relationships where someone has said it after two weeks and one where someone said it after five months. Personally, when I feel the need to tell the person I’m with what I am genuinely feeling about them, I will. Not that I’ve just thrown those words around,  I’ve only said those words to two people. Whenever you feel the need to say that to someone, say it, there’s not always tomorrow.

My parents have always been my goal for love and a happy marriage. They met when they were teenagers and have been together ever since. My mom first met my dad at a birthday party when she was thirteen. He was a tall, lean, handsome African-American guy contrasting to her tan, freckled, black haired appearance. I don’t think it’s fair that you found your significant other that early in your life, but that’s just me. When we first moved to South Carolina, my mom would always tell me that she met my dad when she moved from the place she grew up in. I know she was trying to make me feel better about moving but it stuck with me since I was the same age as when she met my dad then. No matter how much they love each other, they make me cringe.

–

I walk into the kitchen, thirsty and fatigued after running around the neighborhood. I stop in my tracks as I see my parents hugging and kissing each other.

“Uhhh can you guys please stop.”

They pull apart. My mom laughs and my dad rolls his eyes.

“You wouldn’t be here if we didn’t love each other so I don’t want to hear it,” my mom says, dramatically hugging my dad.

“Ew,” I playfully gag.

“Y’all are weird,” my dad says, pulling away from my mom.

We all laugh.

–

So, love in general is a mixture of different things. There’s different types, categories, feelings of love that everyone has experienced. Love can make you do crazy things whichever way it’s perceived. Love in a relationship of any kind, family, friendship, boyfriend,or girlfriend, is vital for that relationship to continue.

Works Cited

Matta, Petri. “19 Fascinating Love Statistics in 2023.” DreamMaker, 6 May 2023, dreammakerr.com/love-statistics/.