00:07
ITME!!
InCo Season 2 Episode 24: Princely
00:16
HATOV
Ehm (beat) hello (beat, static) this is (beat) ehm Hatov (beat) I’m requesting permission to land.
Static
00:33
Hello, this is Hatov of Axotih (beat) Eolara. I am requesting permission to land on the Sunorix.
Static
00:49
This is Hatov of Axotih, son of (beat) Atreli, I am demanding that you grant me a place to dock.
01:03
RADIO
Uh (beat) hello, this is the docking manager. We’re a little busy right now and given that no formal request has been submitted you should leave before we shoot down your ship.
01:17
HATOV
(shocked)
Shoot down my— I am Hatov of Axotih, son of Atreli the current King of Eolara and my request was a formality. You will let me land.
01:30
RADIO
Is that what you’re
01:31
CHELL
Sorry for the inconvenience prince Hatov.
01:33
RADIO 1
We don’t have, are you shitting me
01:35
CHELL
Oops, sorry about that. If you look down you will find a docking station has just freed up. Do you know where the entry is?
01:42
HATOV
Ehm (beat) No
01:44
CHELL
That’s okay, it will be outlined in a blue halo. In 3, 2, 1. Do you see it?
01:51
HATOV
Yes.
01:52
CHELL
Please start heading towards it.
01:54
HATOV
Yes, I intend to.
01:59
Goddess please let me not crash this.
02:05
Ah, not that one, not that one.
02:09
You’ll figure it out Galaxy Eyes, it’s easy enough for a child.
02:17
I can do this
02:26
Ouch. (beat, excitedly) Nova, Nova I did it! Did you (beat, quietly but still excited) well I saw it, first try.
02:37
RADIO 2
Prince Hatov, are you there?
02:42
HATOV
(turns on radio, excitedly and slightly out of breath) Yes. I am here, did you see (beat)
02:44
RADIO 2
See what?
02:46
HATOV
Ehm (beat) never mind (beat) I’ll open the doors shortly.
02:53
RADIO 2
Noted.
02:56
HATOV
I wonder if Wilm wanted to do things like this. It’s nice doing things for yourself.
03:04
CHELL
Hello (beat) Hatov?
03:06
HATOV
(uncertainly)
Yes?
03:06
CHELL
Oh thank the 5. Are you (beat) are you really him?
03:10
HATOV
Yes...you can look me in the eyes (beat) this feels (beat) overly formal.
03:18
CHELL
Oh, I would never.
03:20
HATOV
Please.
I know you, you used to come with the envoy.
03:27
CHELL
Oh, I’m flattered. I know we've never spoken, but the union’s been aware of you since you were about yea high.
03:35
HATOV
(long pause)
Why?
03:37
CHELL
Why what?
03:38
HATOV
Why did the union know of me?
03:39
CHELL
Oh. Well, you know how it is, you seemed promising and we like to keep an eye on the politics of planets we’re interested in.
03:45
HATOV
Did you watch all of my siblings?
03:49
CHELL
Hm? No, not at all. Really watch is a very strong term. We were aware of you the way you were aware of me, probably. I did frequent the palace often, lovely place. I’m sure you can’t wait to get back. Actually, how did you get this ship? How did you even know to (beat) oh, I’m sorry, call me Chell
04:12
HATOV
Shell?
04:15
CHELL
Yes. You seem like you had a very exciting adventure, and I would love to hear all about it.
04:23
HATOV
There (beat) there isn’t much to say. I was lost, nobody seemed to know where I came from, so I figured the Galactic Union could take me home, so I worked my way here.
04:33
CHELL
(in disbelief)
But like, to the Sunorix? Why not to an embassy? And where did you get this ship?
04:41
HATOV
I (beat) I might have (beat) ehm (beat) stolen it?
04:46
CHELL
(pause)
You stole a ship?!
04:49
HATOV
No, just the money to…eh…rent it. Am I in trouble?
04:57
CHELL
(distracted)
No, that’s just (beat) unbelievable.
05:00
HATOV
Why was I almost shot down when I announced myself? I thought the Galactic Union was meant to be an Eolaran ally.
05:07
CHELL
Oh, well that was
05:08
HATOV
How am I meant to explain to father that the very people meant to shield us from the dangers of the galaxy threatened to kill me?
05:15
CHELL
Well (beat) kill is a bit (beat) Hatov, like, your father requests a lot of discretion when handling information regarding Eolara. Sometimes this means that not everyone is in the loop. What happened today was an unfortunate occurrence
05:36
HATOV
I can assure you, that my demise would have been far more than an unfortunate occurrence.
05:42
CHELL
Ah, yes, well, one of our many fail-safe’s kicked in. Prince Hatov, I assure you, you were never in any real danger. All A.I. aided equipment, even our gunning systems, are fundamentally incapable of harming Eolaran royalty, just as all union based tech on your planet.
06:01
HATOV
So your claim is that my life was so unimportant that I needed to be assisted by a secondary system in order to stay alive?
06:08
CHELL
(beat)
I, like, wouldn’t put it that way
06:10
HATOV
Is that not what you just said?
06:13
CHELL
Prince (beat) we simply had not anticipated
06:15
HATOV
So (beat) if your fail-safe failed, the A.I. triggered one, what would happen?
06:22
CHELL
Like (beat) a primary, secondary, and tertiary system failure is super unlikely
06:29
HATOV
I didn’t ask if it was likely, I asked what would have happened.
06:33
CHELL
Well, I’m not precisely a programmer
06:35
HATOV
What is it you do Chell?
06:38
CHELL
I...I, I beg our pardon?
06:46
CHELL
(uncomfortably)
Like I help negotiate contracts and agreements between the ruling species of interested planets and the Galactic Union
06:54
HATOV
And you’ve been working with Eolara since I was (beat, disgusted) yea tall?
06:59
CHELL
Well I am z primary negotiators.
07:01
HATOV
Then you are incompetent.
07:03
CHELL
Excuse me?
07:04
HATOV
I’ve heard that it only takes 2 years for wealthy planets to join the union. You and your team have been negotiating for 40, does that not reek of incompetence?
07:16
CHELL
Well, like, your Grandfather was a bit
07:18
HATOV
What was stopping you he was just a doddering old fool
07:22
CHELL
Uncooperative and his legacy ensured that immediate assimilation was impossible. We’ve been working with your father, but of course, he needs approval from the Grand Council. Progressing while abiding by the rules your Grandfather put in place is nearly impossible, and the renegotiation has been going rather slowly.
07:43
HATOV
(beat)
Has Wilm shown up?
07:46
CHELL
(pause)
Was he supposed to?
No (beat) there was a reported sighting some weeks ago.
07:52
HATOV
Did you find him?
07:54
CHELL
(beat)
Well, it turned out to be a false alarm on a far reach planet. Really, it made no sense for him to be there.
07:59
HATOV
Which planet?
08:01
CHELL
You probably haven't heard of it. The Viaci Republic
08:07
HATOV
(beat)
I see
08:08
CHELL
Though, like, if it was accurate then
08:10
HATOV
You lost him.
08:11
CHELL
He doesn’t want to be found.
08:13
HATOV
And you don’t have the power to find him? What of the bio-tracker?
08:18
CHELL
Okay, but like, where did you hear about that?
08:21
HATOV
Does it matter? There are no secrets between Eolara and the union or was that one of the impossible parts of my Grandfather’s deal?
08:29
CHELL
We uh...we tried to use it, but the process was hampered by your technology.
08:37
HATOV
What?
08:39
CHELL
Well the, the things in your blood, the robots, the nanites? I’m sorry, I don’t know what to call them, your grandfather’s agreement, like, once again. Well they make the initial analysis of your blood (beat) very difficult with our technology.
08:56
Their insistence on the rapid regeneration of cells in hostile environments and the immediate destruction of tampered DNA has made continuing the bio-signal protocol impossible.
09:08
HATOV
(beat)
So you tried
09:10
CHELL
We, like, searched the entire galaxy for you. I know it may not be apparent, but your Grandfather’s rules make it very hard to
09:20
HATOV
Okay, I understand, all your shortcomings are not your fault but my grandfather’s.
09:26
CHELL
Well I wouldn’t
09:28
HATOV
Can I have a copy of his regulations?
09:31
CHELL
(Beat)
I don’t have access to the precise document here but— (beat)
Hat— prince, are you, like, aware that you have a chip?
09:41
HATOV
I have a (beat) what?
09:42
CHELL
A chip. Uhm, older health androids used to use them to monitor vitals, which isn’t a problem, they don’t have the range, but some war (peters out) Who did you come into contact with?
09:56
HATOV
Well (beat) I, ehm, I came into contact with a lot of people
10:01
CHELL
Did you get hurt at all while you were (beat) out? Did anyone inject you with something?
10:09
HATOV
Ehm (beat) maybe?
10:12
CHELL
Maybe? Did you pass out anywhere, or do some recreational substances or
10:17
HATOV
Why are you treating me like I did something wrong? Does it matter how the chip got there? Can you get it out or not?
10:23 10:23
CHELL
We can remove it, but it would be helpful to know where it came from.
10:28
HATOV
I said, I don’t know.
10:32
CHELL
(beat)
Alright, well, we’ll see what we can learn from the chip. (beat) We’ll get this looked into first.
10:50
This has been an ItMe Production. All voices were done by (beat) me. If you miss me between updates, follow me on twitter @incopodcast or at incopodcast.com for sound effect lists, blog posts, world building, mini episodes, and more. The music this episode was voices from the depths by Music L Files. If you want to support the show, leave a review or comment or consider stopping by my Kofi linked in the description. I’d love to hear from you. Stay safe. And as always, thank you for listening