“The Legend of Joram the Bastard”

1492DR, 2 years after Storm King’s Thunder

Cinematic Intro

Player Characters

Notable NPCs

Notable Places

Factions

Notable Items

Our Tavern: The Lucky Ladder

Layout and Design

Facilities Purchased

Features Based Upon Facilities Owned

Inventory

Overhead Costs for the Lucky Ladder

Guild Licenses

Guilds of Waterdeep

“The Legend of Joram the Bastard” - A Journal

November 4th, 2023 - Our First Quest

November 19th, 2023 - Going Shopping and Fucking Around Town

December 2nd, 2023 - Assassins, and the Search for Floon Begins

December 16th, 2023 - Warehouse Rumble

December 30th, 2023 - Into the Sewers

January 13th, 2024 - Floon is Saved and We Get a Tavern

January 27th, 2024 - Training and Business

February 10th, 2024 - Family Drama & Alley Disappearances

February 24th, 2024 - Into Blue Alley

March 9th, 2024 - Further into Blue Alley

March 23rd, 2024 - Blue Alley Conquered

April 20th, 2024 - Froon’s Goons

May 4th, 2024 - Germund’s #metoo Moment

May 18th, 2024 - Joining the Grey Hands

June 1st, 2024 - The Rat Pox

June 15th, 2024 - Detective Work

June 29th, 2024 - Finding the True Culprit…and True Love

July 13th, 2024 - The Gang Goes To The Opera

July 27th, 2024 - The Hunchback Requires Basil’s Seed

August 10th, 2024 - Don’t Forget About Dray

August 24th, 2024 - Murder at the Lucky Ladder’s Doorstep

September 7th, 2024 - A Failed Ambush and a Successful Infiltration

September 21st, 2024 - We Escape Skullport But Are Registered As Sex Offenders

October 5th, 2024 - On the Trail of the Necromancer

October 19th, 2024 - My Rat’s Voice is Surprisingly Deep

Notable NPCs

Notable Places

The Yawning Portal - Famous Inn that leads to Undermountain (Underdark place).

Sleeping Dog Inn - Tavern belonging to Reynard’s mom (Lorrain).

Skewered Dragon Inn - Last known location of Floon.

Tower of the Order - Where Joram lives. A public trade commision/learning center for mages.

Waukeen’s Wares - Local temple to Waukeen. Also a pawn shop.

Skewered Dragon Inn - Where Floon was last seen

Sevelamps Cut - Where I (used to!) own an apartment. Famous tenement housing for wizards, black and otherwise. Reynard and Basil encounter an escaping assassin here.

Blue Alley - People were disappearing into this alley. We were commisioned to find treasure suspected to be here. Germund was ordered by his superiors to discover what happened to the missing people. We found out both - it was an inter-city dungeon created by an asshole wizard.

(Search the Waterdeep Interactive Map)

Factions

Zanathars - Local crime lords of Waterdeep

Zhentarum - Henchmen/criminals working for an evil wizard bent on world domination

Golden Eyes - High level priests of Waukeen

Notable Items

Stone of Dalore - Supposedly leads to the secret vault of Dagult Neverember.

Celestite Unicorn - Treasure found in the Blue Alley. Given to Mirt the Moneylender.

Our Tavern: The Lucky Ladder

Layout and Design

Facilities Purchased

Features Based Upon Facilities Owned

Feast: (unlimited) Each day that you spend on this activity costs 1 gp in ingredients and grants a +2 bonus to your next roll on the Business Results table.

Join the Staff - (unlimited) Each day you spend working with your staff grants a cumulative 10% chance that you’ll benefit from free Extra Security.

Rare Ingredients - (max 10 batches) Each day that you spend sourcing rare ingredients for your tavern’s larder costs 1 gp. After engaging in this activity, you gain one batch of rare ingredients. You can spend one batch of rare ingredients to add a +10% bonus to any one roll on the Banqueting, Brewing Beer, or Distilling Spirits tables, or to grant a +4 bonus to your next business results roll when using the Feast downtime activity.

Smuggling - (unlimited) Each day that you spend on this activity grants +4 to your next business results roll. After resolving your business results, roll on the Smuggling Table, taking a -5 penalty to your roll for every day spent smuggling.

Entertainment - (Unlimited) Each day you spend on this activity costs 2gp. Roll a die for each day. ON an odd result it adds a +1 bonus to your next Business Results table. On even it adds +3.

Overall look and repairs - Raises the overall level of the tavern by 1.

Inventory

Current gold: 0gp

Torch x 3

Candle x 9

Light Crossbow

Short Bow

Healing Potion x 2

Small shield x 7

Wine Bottles (10gp) x 6

Arcane books from Blue Alley

Overhead Costs for the Lucky Ladder

Lorrain: 2.5gp/month

Reynard Sibling (x3): (1.5gp/month each) 4.5gp/month

Maintenance: 5gp/month

Security: Yagra: Food and Board and Reynard

Total: 12gp/month

Guild Licenses

We need to pay off all of the local guilds to operate our business.

Total gold needed: 225gp

Paid off

Guilds of Waterdeep

“The Legend of Joram the Bastard” - A Journal

November 4th, 2023 - Our First Quest

Game Date: Ches 19

Friar Basil(Andy) is caught drinking heavily. I know him from the temple of Wakeem. I’m an anointed follower of Waukeem. We are drinking buddies. He really likes the drinking part.

Reynard(Sam) is caught cheating with some housewife and is chased off. He knows Germund.

I show off my magic and get accepted into the Guild, I have a place to sleep at the Tower of the Order now. It was awkward when asked to fire my magic since I don’t really have a spell like that.

Naugrim(Jason) is being delusional as usual thinking he is an elf, talking to Jasmin (a real elf) who is slightly creeped out. He knows Arnold.

Arnold(Zane) the halfling. He has severe short term memory. Ugly as hell, both on the inside and out.

Germund (Grant) is town guardsman. He’s illiterate and supersticious. Thinks books are the devil. My brother is his boss, but none of us know. I doin’t talk to my brother Hirvel. Hirvel is a dick.

Bors of Reeve is known to Germund. He’s a poor noble, his father was the sheriff for 20 years. He’s got a small estate in the north ward. He’s been taken on by the Artemel family.  Bors of Reeve works for Bors of Artemel (who liked his name). His job is to raise Arthur. Arthur’s been through some shit at this point.

Alehra Artemel is my boss at the Watchful Order of Magisters. She also has 3 children, and runs the Artemel family. She’s def a workaholic.

Germund shows up at the Artemel estate in order to help Bors of Reeve. Both of them, by the way, belong to an organization based Hold Fast Hall called Toril Explorer Society, which is an adventurer's guild run by the Artemel family.

Ches 19 is the day. Spring equinox. How very specific. Good job Brett.

Germund goes to Reynard’s mom’s house/tavern. Tells Reynard he has a job. Reynard is on board. They have to go meet Volo at the Yawning Portal. But they need a larger crew for the job. “Get the team back together” jokes are made.

Lorrain, Reynard’s mom, likes Germund because he is a good influence on Reynard. Reynard is scummy, but in a funny way.

The yawning portal inn has a well to the Underdark to a place called the Undermountain.

I know Obaya Uday, a cleric of Waukeen (human). And Jalester Silverman.

Germund is superstitious. It’s funny. Let’s condescend to him later.

Brett ordered a pizza and it was a super shitty delivery.

There was a big fight in the tavern with an orc lady and a bunch of guys. The police showed up. Germund used his rape whistle and everyone made fun of him. Then he got talked down by my older brother, Hirvel, even though Germund was doing work off-duty. What a dick.

After a while, we go back to drinking, and giant monster mosquitoes come out of the well that leads to the Undermountain.

After a fight in which Germund almost kills Arnold, we meet Volo. Garmund takes point in the conversation at first. Volo is looking for Floon Blagmaar. “He’s got more beauty than brains. I’m afraid he was kidnapped last night. Please track him down with all due haste.” When asked why a powerful wizard like Volo can’t track him down, he says he’s protected by magic. He offers 10 gold (dragons). I’m a super big fan of Volo. I have read all of his books.

When asked for the description of Floon. Late 20s, early 30s. Roughly 6’. Fair Skinned. Dark hair. Mullet. Haha. Well groomed beard. Dresses like a dandy. They are “docking buddies'' according to Sam. Really close with each other.

We get the money first, upfront. 10 gold. And he will reward us 90 more when we find Floon. I should totally ask for a spell instead of money when we succeed if we do. 1 gold is what a commoner makes in a month.

The story:
Two nights ago, Floon and he were at the Skewered Tavern in the dock wards. He recommends we start our search there. When asked if he had any enemies, Volo says no.  Volo thinks he might be kidnapped by gangs, in a prejudiced manner.

We all gain 1 honor and 1 fame.

November 19th, 2023 - Going Shopping and Fucking Around Town

Brett got an even worse pizza delivery. If that was possible.

We’re in the tavern. We stayed overnight. A lot of the businesses are closed today due to the holiday “Faeday.” It’s basically halloween. The date is still Ches 19, near dusk.

In the Skewered Dragon Inn, Reyard is being sexy with the buff orc lady he seduced. “You got to go?” the orc lady says sadly and grabs Reynard very hard. Somewhat intimidated, Reynard decides to stay a bit more for more sexytime.  

Reynard weakly fights the orc she-hulk until he is carried in a princess carry up the stairs. “Where we’re going, we don’t need clothes.”

Later, Arnold calls a carriage to the temple of Tymora, bleeding all over the carriage. The carriage tried to drive off when they saw Arnold, but we made them stay. We all agreed to meet at the Skewered Dragon Tavern later.

We see a lot of halloweeners going around. Parents with cups and children with bags and costumes.

Before they leave the Inn, Reynard offers to bring everyone injured over to his mom since she has patched up people before. Basil offers a pamphlet to his religion in exchange. Moments later, he wanders off with Germund towards the Trade district.

Before they all leave, I try to stop everybody to make a plan for the next day regarding the investigation. But everybody walks off to fornicate and shop, so I head home to the Tower of the Order. Alone and ignored.

Germund and Basil go off to buy armor. Germund compliments Basil on his combat skils with his staff. In exchange, Basil chastises him on how he almost killed Arnold in a really insulting manner. Basil is almost falling over drunk right now. Germud would take him to jail if not for the fact that Basil will probably announce to all of his buddies in the Guard about how he almost accidentally killed Arnold with the glaive.

In the temple of Tymora (not the actual name), Arnold shows up wounded as fuck. He startles the poor priests and they body carry him into the back and heal him. Arnold gets anointed after a religious spiel which he may or may not remember. He gives 10gp to them and gets fully healed.

Basil stumbles up to some random blacksmith that’s super busy, oblivious to how busy the blacksmith really is because he is drunk. The blacksmith is not happy to be interrupted. Basil buys some scale mail for 1gp and goes off to pawn his old armor for more drinks. Germund buys a shield, since Basil bought the last scale mail.

Arnold goes back to the tavern in a search for Reynold and slightly molests the orc that Reynold slept with before she shoves him away. Arnold goes downstairs in the Yawning Portal and orders dinner, bragging about how he got lucky with the orc lady (he didn’t).

Basil isn’t having luck selling his smelly armor for booze so Germund convinces him to sell it to his temple, Waukeen’s Wares. Waukeen Wares is a temple that doubles as a pawn shop. They pay to get in the temple/pawn shop and the door automatically opens. Basil then gets caught pawning the armor he received just THAT morning with his priest initiation. Like, literally, a few hours ago. He gets torn into by the priest behind the counter. Germund is very pleased, since Basil was a dick to him earlier when Germund was just complimenting his staff skills.

Because he is Basil’s friend, they allow Germund to buy from them (usually only anointed followers can buy). But it’s all crap, so he declines to offer.

Reynard tries to gather info on Floon. He runs into a rioting crowd along the way. They’re smashing in windows and shouting. The mob is protesting the anonymity given to the lords of waterdeep. They are tearing masks off of people. They, themselves, are wearing masks. The irony escapes them. They start to run after Reynard in a blind rage.

He dodges the crowd by diving into a pile of trash then heads back home to his mothers (Lorraine) tavern. His brother says that Reynard smells like trash and mocks him. Reynard shows Bruin (his brother) the gold he made and claims he found it in the trash lol. Everyone, when they see Reynolds gold, first asks him if he stole it or who he whored himself out to. When Reynard mentions that Germund is involved they seem relieved and believe him.

 “Just cause you got a goalie doesn’t mean you can’t score” a spirit Arnold from the sky advises Reynold as he trolls his mom’s tavern for some tail.

Back at the Tower of the Order, I talk to the mage in charge of the spells (whose name I forgot to write down) and he wants to be there at the tower at noon every day for the next 9 days to learn the spell. I agree, reluctantly. Hopefully his chores don’t take too long. But I really need that spell. What kind of mage can’t even detect magic.

+50 gold debt, new magical spell?, appointment -> me

Arnold convinces the guards to direct him back to his friends and he wants to go to the Sleeping Dog Inn, Renard’s place. The guards direct him to Renard’s mom’s tavern in the Castle Ward. It’s a 3 story tavern. It’s pretty inviting. They all stand outside, listening to Reynard’s sexy noises.

Arnold goes inside and immediately attempts to seduce Reynard’s mom and fails hard. He gropes her boob without much preamble. Arnold immediately gets thrown out, but not before he claims to be Reyard’s friend, which starts a shitstorm.

Bruin (Reynard’s brother) pulls Reynard out mid-coitus to tell him what happened. Reynard is pissed and goes downstairs, where he kicks the shit out of Arnold for molesting his mom. “Would your family believe me if I told them that the boob grab thing is a halfling tradition?” and Reynard gives Arnold a hard “no”.

Reynard’s siblings find out that Reynard has a woman in his bed and Reynard’s mom storms upstairs to throw the lady out. Turns out the lady that Reynold was sleeping with was Noble Lady Dagult. Noble lady is pretty pissed and embarrassed, but goes back to the room she rented with her husband none the wiser.

Germund and Basil show up and more drama ensues. They end up taking baths. The rest of Reynard’s siblings look at the lush Basil in further disgust. Lorrain (Reynard’s mom) likes Germund even better when she hears that he stabbed Arnold.

Marriane, Reynard’s sister, is super coming on to Germund in the bath and he’s either not getting it at all or is pretending hard to ignore it. Swing and a miss on the sisters’ end.

We were talking about Grant’s character’s penis size when Crystal walked in with the kids. This is why we play D&D.

Basil’s alcoholism kicks in and he orders waaay too many drinks and almost falls down the stairs, but saves himself at the last minute from dying. He still hurts himself tho.

“Lorrain is just playing hard to get. I’m gonna grab her other titty tomorrow,” Arnold says ominously as they all go to sleep.

Everyone gains 1 honor. Even Arnold.

December 2nd, 2023 - Assassins, and the Search for Floon Begins

Everyone wakes up in their respective places. Germund goes to Sevenlamps Cut, where my apartment is, looking for me. He asks a fruit vendor and gives Germund my location after buying an apple.

I am in the library, reading Volos Guide to Monsters, eating dried fish, waiting for my magic lesson.

Basil fills his whiskey flask first thing in the morning. Goes downstairs after praying. Lorrain is serving up food. She chastises him for drinking too much but it flows off like water on a duck. Basil drinks a little coffee, adding a bit of whiskey to it for breakfast. Reynard wakes up, and goes and gets breakfast in a great mood since he got laid twice yesterday. Reynard takes a swig of Basil’s alcohol.

I attended my magic lesson and it's nice. Germund walks up to the Tower of the Order.  He asks for Joram the Bastard. They direct him to the fifth floor. A bead of sweat goes down Germund’s face as he sees all the books and words. Germud goes to my room and I am gone, because I am in the library. He asks a random woman for my location and directs him to the library. Germind cringes and white knuckle grips his Tymorian coin in fear of the educated.

Reynard wants to go shopping, and basil wants to join but he’s really drunk and it's only 11am. Basil is convinced that he will help Reynard get a good price with his god's blessing but Basil is super wrong and that doesn't happen. Reynard heads to Reoric’s Arms and Armor and buys a bunch of stuff with Basil sending his thoughts and prayers.

My lesson takes an hour. Germud grabs me when we leave. It’s around 1PM. We decide to head back to Reynard’s tavern to see if we can meet the rest of our group.

I buy some dried fish on the way. The vendor’s name is Margered. I buy 4 for 5. I summon my servant on the way (for 6 hours). 40SP is wasted.

Reynard and Basil run into a crowd going after some dude in black. The crowd doesn’t see the guy, and they are all screaming “Get the murderer!” But Reynold sees him and follows him with Basil. They are in nearby Sevenlamps Cut in Castle Ward. It’s a dead end street. It’s a known area where dark arts mages hide. Corner of Silks and Sword St. They try to sneak but fail. They try to hide in some trash but fail. The guy chuckles ominously. “You guys came to the wrong place.”

“You don’t know what business you are meddling in to.” Ominously. But he’s right, they don’t know shit. But the cloaked guy throws a knife at them. Roll initiative. Basil immediately charges the guy and curb stomps him with his staff in one hit. He searches the body and finds some sort of written message that Basil can’t read. Basil holds up the body to the angry mob and says “Praise Waukeen! Feel free to donate to the church!”

The mob briefly tries to string the two up along with the assassin, but Reynard quickly convinces them otherwise. The angry mob kills the assassin and raises his head above the crowd.

A little orphan approaches Basil and asks why there is suffering in the world and he says that its to make them a better salesmen. When asked if the priests of Waukeen take in orphans, Basil says a hard no but gives him 1 copper for a free lunch. The orphan wanders off into an alley where he is quickly mugged by larger orphans.

Germund and I go to Sleeping Dog Tavern. I get shit on by both Marianne for reading and Lorrain for being ugly. They talk shit on reading for a bit. I order the cheapest beer. 5 tc.

Maeve, the 10 year old sister, tells Gerum that Marriane writes about Germund in her diary. Germund reaffirms that writing is evil. He still doesn’t get it.

Reynard and Basil walk in. I heal Reynard’s wounds with first aid. Reynard reads the assasin’s contract outside. There’s a sigil on the letter with a stylized C that I don’t recognize. I know this is a proxy family that works for the Castleanters, a local noble family. They are not known for being good among the noble families. Gossip says they are a bunch of devil worshipers.

The little dwarf that thinks it's an elf and the hobbit are going to be back later in the evening.

We decide to head to the dock ward to the skewered dragon in order to find Floon.

We head towards the inn and it's super hot, like 108 degrees out.  Germund pays for us to move via the Dray(?) horse carriage. Dray = city bus. We head to Sea Ward.

Like Rick Steves, I give the whole group a tour guide of the Sea Ward as we move together, showing them the History of the city. Nobody seems interested. I am crestfallen.  

We are near the Artemel estate in the Sea Ward. We are here to pick up Bors. We ask the guards where he is. Some background: Germund knows him because Bors is teaching him the sword. They decided to be friends during training.

Bors of Reeve finally shows up. He agrees to help us for a few hours. We take a 30 minute dray ride to the dock ward. Mid afternoon. 3-4pm.

We find ourselves in an area cordoned off by the city watch with a dozen dead victims and 3 captured criminals. They briefly stop Germund, and asked why he is there, resplies “Slumming it”. They say that Hirvel will take his stripes if he steps out of line. What a dick.

All the suspects are fair skinned and blue eyed.

We go to the “Zoblob” shop; looks like a shop for random knick kacks. We head in after briefly talking about the stuffed beholder in front of the store. I know some monster lore and regurgitate it for the group.

Germund asks about Floon along with a 1gp bribe to the owner. We get the story: Floon showed up with five men along with a black tattoo with a winged snake. I recognize it as a tattoo of the Zhents.The five men looked identical, like twin-identical.

Germund pays for a 6gp bottle of lotion that would “protect from all magic”. I know it’s bullshit and try  to stop him but there is no point. He buys it anyway. He gets a mini stuffed beholder as an extra. Stupid superstitious bastard.

We go to the Skewered Dragon Inn. When we arrive, the inn looks like a ruin. A ship's anchor is lodged in the roof and the windows are smashed, the clientele look rough. Like the most hardcore sailors in the world. As a whole, our group does not really belong in a sailor bar.

So we decided that Germund is 100% oblivious to Reynard’s sister.

I order the cheapest drink. I grew up in this neighborhood so I feel super comfortable. It’s a dwarf bartender. It’s a recent owner. His name is Skag. Bought the bar recently. He saw Floon and someone who was reading a lot with them. A couple nights ago, the fop Floom met with another, the son of the former Open Lord Neverember, Renier. They hate the previous lord for his shitty administration.

Floon and Renier gambled a bit then left. Haven’t been to the tavern since. The men that followed him (the Zhents?) hang around the warehouse on Candle Lane. There is a snake symbol on the warehouse they guard. Renier had been at the tavern often in the last 10 days, and hadn't seen him before that. First time Floon had been here. So it sounds like Renier was lying in waiting for him.

Germund, drinking the “recommended drink”, falls over on his ass drunk as shit. Guess it was harder than he was anticipating. He shouldn’t trust a dwarf when it's recommending a drink.

December 16th, 2023 - Warehouse Rumble

Next morning. Early morning. Germund will *not* wake up. Marriane uses smelling salts to wake him up from his drunken stupor. I spend the morning ending my lease at Sevelamps Cut (since I have a free place to stay now) and reading Volo’s books until my magic lesson.

Reynard and Germund have a sad conversation about romance and how he doesnt recognize it.

Correction from last notes: Floon was kidnapped by the quintuplets along with his buddy.

Lesser bors is downstairs and they all have breakfast. Germund lotions up himself with his antimagic garbage. Reynard helps him with it, it is very sexy.

I take my magic lesson, making my friends wait, then we head off with Bors. Bors and Germund train while they wait. They get yelled at by what appears to be the librarian. They go outside. I summon Bob.

We take a Dray. I get Germund to pay for me. We head toward Candle Lane. I give a tour along the way. Nobody seems interested, but I don’t notice.

We try to come up with a plan. We decide to buy a ladder and pretend to be repairmen and just walk in. I get germund to buy me a cloak to cover up Bob.

We arrive at Candle lane. It’s so packed together that light never reaches it. Only one magical continual flame exists, hence the name.

At the warehouse, Bors puts his ear on the door and hears shuffling around inside. We circle around the back. Nobody gives us a second glance – because we have a ladder.

We approach the “yard” of the warehouse, the incoming area and are seemingly unnoticed. It’s a two story warehouse.There are three points of entry: door, first story window, big loading bay/garage door. We opine that we should use the ladder to get to the second story, but we realize that there is no open window. The main door is locked. Garage door is locked. Reynard also hears someone shuffling inside on the first floor. Garmund does a Feat of Strength to smash open the door and succeeds. The door collapses.

Four bloody Kenku are inside the warehouse. The corpses of a dozen men line the building. Reynard tries to de-escalate and talk to the birdmen. He gets a crossbow bolt fired at him for his trouble. He uses enough of his Luck to avoid the blow. I call Bors for help ( I need an adult!). Germund demands to know the location of Floon and the Kenku ignore him.

We defeat the bird people except the last one, who escapes. After an annoying chase through the alleyways of Waterdeep, we corner it in an alley. We interrogate the birdman and he says he works for the All-Seeing Eye, which is a nickname for the Zanathars. The people dead in the warehouse are from the Zhentarum. We interfered in an ongoing gang fight. The Zanathars are the local gang with the Zhentarum trying to move in on their territory.

We drag the surviving Kenku back to the warehouse. Now that the fight is over, we begin our investigation. Bors and Germund sorta try to take control and succeed. I look around and don’t find Floon or Renier among the dead bodies on the floor.

Germund and I move our investigation to the second floor. The whole warehouse looks tossed, like the Zanathar Kenku were looking for something. Most of the stuff we find looks like fenced/smuggled stuff. In the meantime, Reynard tries to further interrogate the Kenku and fails hard.

Germund finds booted footprints in the dust on the second floor. Which is anomalous since Kenku are barefoot. I tell Bob to light a torch and we follow the boot trail. As we open a door, we are nearly bulled over by a humanoid male. “You arent gonna take me alive!” he screams in a panic.

The guy reaches for a sword that's not there. It turns out the man is Renier. The other night he was drinking with Floon and he decided to escort Floon home since he was drunk. They were jumped on the way back.

Renier believes that the Zhentarum believes Renier’s father embezzled money and hid it, and they want it. His father, of course, being the previous Unmasked Lord of Waterdeep. Renier does not seem to like his father. By all accounts, Renier’s father is a bit of a jerk.

Something called the “Stone of Dalore” is used to find the gold stash. Somehow. Zhents are after the stone. Renier claims he has no idea where it is. We all walk down and Renier grabs up some weapons from the dead Zhents. Renier says he will join us on his quest. He appears to be somewhat proficient with a weapon.

The Guards finally show up. Bors of Reeve pulls rank (he’s a noble) and we have jurisdiction on the case. Go noble society. The bodies have been dead for several hours. I find a note: “Tie up the pretty boy when you find him Follow the Yellow signs in the sewers. Get him back to the boss. “ We all read the note.

Hirvel shows up and throws his weight around, needlessly. He is looking for a Herstal Fluxon in relation to this case. I vaguely recall the name. Reiner got our back when Hirvel is being a dick to us. Hirvel snidely slips a scroll into Germunds hands and walks away.  It is the codex of local laws.

As a side note, Renier and Floon look very similar. They could have been mistaken for each other.

“Sewers are our next stop,” Renier says. We all agree.

Everyone here gets: +1 honor and +5 fame and +1 level.

December 30th, 2023 - Into the Sewers

Reminder: buy a club for future mounted combat, should cost roughly a copper, weighs 4lbs. Give the weapon to Bob along with the cloak. Make him look cool.

Current action: stock up for sewers run, ask around briefly about Herstal Fluxon, go into sewers.

It’s midafternoon on Ches 21. It’s super hot and muggy. Reynard heads back home, wounded. Friar Basil wakes up with a super super hangover. He runs into Maeve after stumbling downstairs at like 2pm. Awkward conversation. He has bread and watered wine for breakfast. Talks to Lorraine a bit, who sneers at his general behavior, about where everyone went. Lorraine sorta strong arms Basil to pay up for his tab. Basil starts drinking but is able to stop himself from getting wasted.

Reynard enters the bar, full of stab wounds. Reynard guilts Basil successfully into using his one-a-day heal on him and heals him for 5HP. Basil earns big points with the bar family. Lorrain says that everything is on the house from now on. Basil thanks her and immediately takes advantage of this and gets a flask of alcohol for the road.

Reynard, before he goes to sleep, tells Basil where the friends are to join up. Then he sees the orc lady from before waving at him, and he skips upstairs. Seems like that 5HP is going to be put to use immediately.

Back at the crime scene, Germund, Renier, Lesser Bors, and I are hanging out. I’m leading them to a sewer entrance. Germund has new respect for me after I just killed two humanoids. While we wait, Germund (under my duresse) buys a torch and a bunch of candles.

We buy (and by “we” I mean Germund):
+5 toches

+8 candles

I give them all to Bob. He’s our little light monkey.

Zane shows up.

Arnold wakes up at noon at the Sleeping Dog Inn. Everyone glares at him. He asks Bruin where the rest of the party went. He blames us for not waking him up. Bruin counters by saying that he should wake Basil up so they could go track down their friends and, more importantly, get the hell out.

We retcon it like crazy and change history. Arnold wakes Basil up in this new world. Basil shouts at Arnold to go away through the closed door, but Arnold relentlessly lockpicks Basil’s room. Arnold throws “water” on the sleeping Basil. And by water, I mean the contents of his bedpan. Arnold fails to wake Basil up and wanders off towards our direction, i.e. the warehouse.

Arnold takes a dray towards our warehouse location. There are multiple people on a dray, like an inner-city bus. Takes an hour and a half to reach Swords st. and Candle Lane. Local citizens point him in the right direction. He finds us.

Basil gives his robes to the people in the Inn to be cleaned and borrows Bruin’s clothes against the latter’s protests and then heads off, still smelling like urine. He gives his cleric robes (received just yesterday!) covered in alcohol spots, blood, dirt, and urine to Bruin and gets him to clean it. Basil takes a Dray to our location.

It’s 106 degrees and muggy out. It takes an hour and a half on Dray for Basil to arrive. It is about 4pm at this point. Everyone is disgruntled after waiting forever for him to come.

Our codenames for the Super Secret Sewer Mission:

Duma ballsfitinyourmouth = Arnold

Me = Firebird

Germund = Doopie Fresh

Basil = Piss Robes

Bors = Lesser Bors

We talk about the Boogie youtuber and how much of a douche he was.

We head into the sewers. We know that Floon was kidnapped by the Zanathar guild. We find a manhole cover and head down the ladder. Germund is now convinced that the ladder we carry is lucky since we were able to find Renier. I’m would be inclined to agree if I believed in any of that superstitious bullshit.

Germund lowers the ladder in the sewer. They have no natural light. We light torches. I find yellow symbols of the Zanatars and point it out to the group. I tell them that they are called the “All Seeing Eye” due to the fact that a beholder is in charge.  

We must make a choice in one tunnel. We follow the yellow signs of the Zanatars. We come to a 3-way intersection. We run into a Gazer, roll initiative. We fight the Gazer but Basil gets mind controlled and holds us all off enough for it to get away. After our impotence in destroying the mini-eyeball monster we continue down the sewers, following the yellow signs.

The main sewer tunnel opens up into an area with open arrow slits into the main area. We enter a large room only to get attacked by what appears to be a goblin by a crossbow through an arrow slit. I try to jab it but it runs away. Germund tracks it down behind a door and beats it till it can't move. Germund then ropes the goblin up so we can interrogate it, finally revealing to us the mystery of why Germund sunk so many damn build points into Use Rope.

We end the session in the middle of the sewers.

January 13th, 2024 - Floon is Saved and We Get a Tavern

Bob is carrying 5 torches and 8 candles. We’ve been down here for two hours so…

-2 torches

We interrogate the goblin but don't really glean any good information on him. He doesn't have any good info so Arnold stabs him Saving PRivate Ryan style. Germund sighs and grabs his rope since it would be a waste to leave behind.

• Light crossbow -> Bob’s backpack

We head up some stairs. Andy is starting to do cartography. Go andy.

Germund throws salt over his right shoulder. “We’re entering the den of criminals.”

We talk about the rules of illumination.

We send Arnold up ahead to scout. He finds a stout door. Arnold tries to ram the door and fails hard. I give some dried fish to Arnold since he says he can't open the door due to being hungry. Now he smells like fish.

Brett gives us all homemade jerky since I brought up dried fish. It was super good.

We enter a dark room and I am shot with a crossbow. We all run into the room and curb stomp a duergar and a human.

We talk about coffee for a while when Zane gets back from a coffee run. Memories of Starbucks and resentment/appreciation towards Dutch Bros. is expressed.

“I know they’re just putting Diahrrea in a Cup but whenever I leave it puts me in a good mood. I like the respect they show me. ” – Brett on Dutch Bros.

We search the bodies.

+18 copper -> Germund

+2 short sword (1 -> Germund)

+2 short bows

I send it all to Bob’s backpack.

Meanwhile at the Sleeping Dog Tavern, a she-half-orc (Yagra)  is smoking a cigarette next to Reynard, post-coitus. Reynard is having a quarter-life crisis.  A pounding at the door shows Lorraine getting mad that Reynard is not answering and demanding if a woman is with him. Reynard has a short convo with Yagra, who briefly mocks Reynard for living with his mom. When asked if she will see him tonight, Reynard goes back and forth with Yagra. Then he takes off. Yagra looks a bit heartbroken, and mentions she will stay in town for the next 10-day.

Bruin mocks and then is envious of the hookup when talking to Reynard. But he mentions that all of Reynard’s friends are in the sewer before saying “Mom loves me more” and running off. Reynard successfully sneaks out of the tavern without alerting Lorrain that he’s gone then he heads into the sewers.

The rest of the group goes down a long hallway. Arnold takes point. He sees: A half-orc casting some sort of fire spell at a helpless human figure below, saying “One step closer, he dies now!” A Mindflayer is right next to the mage, looking ominous.

The mindflayer puts down the moving brain (the dog brain thing) and runs away. When the half-orc demands our surrender, Germund charges him, convinced that “the anti-spell lotion is working”. He immediately takes damage from a fire spell and is set on fire.

Friar Andy immediately rushes the half-orc sorc and beats him to near death. The half-orc kills himself with a dagger before we could capture him.

Turns out the guy *is* in fact Floon. We have saved him. Go us!

On the body that Arnold searches (the orc) he finds a mage tome. I will take it for study later. Along with a few potions.

• 1 mage tome
• 2 potions of some kind (probably healing, they are red)

I find a chest in the room. Arnold checks the chest and finds two vials in the chest. Along with a bunch of coins. We decide to divy it up in a bar later.

Floon is complaining loudly to Renier about his days of capture. As we walk back, we talk to him regarding his experiences. He got really drunk and was gambling. He was interrogated by “those hooligans”. After a day or so, he realized he was confused for Renier and kidnapped wrongly. We arrive at the Lucky Ladder as Germund gives Floon a bunch of booze.

Floon promises a party later in the Sea Ward.  Friar Andy puts his arm around Floon: “Looking forward to that party later!”

Renier offers to meet back at the Yawning Portal later that night with Floon. We can contact Volo in the interim.

While we walk, I try to talk to Germund: “That lotion didn’t help. You still got burned by that spell, man!”

Germund: “Imagine how bad it would have been if I *didn’t* have it! It’s only day 1 of the lotion, imagine day 10!” He’s a lost case.

We all get back to the Castle Ward around the time of sunset. It looks like the guards are in a hustle, as a fire is happening somewhere in the city.

We head towards the Yawning Portal in the Castle Ward. We approached Volo, who was drinking there. He springs up and runs towards our group.

He flying hugs Arnold and invites us to his table. He pays for our food. Volo has bad news for us: “My latest book hasn’t selling as much as I thought. I will present something much more valuable than the gold I promised!” He holds out a scroll tube, which is a deed to something he claims is worth “10x what I promised you”.

Arnold launches into the tales of our adventures with Volo, but Lesser Bors is constantly checking him regarding the truth of the story.

The deed looks legit and notarized, “rumor has it that the building might have a small catch….the place might be haunted.” “Is it a sexy ghost?” Reynard asks. Volo refuses to answer. It’s in Trollskull Alley, called Trullskull Manor. It’s *very* nice. I have actually seen it a lot, as I often go to a spellbook shop in that place.

Next morning, he takes us to the mansion. He shows us around. We agree to the deal. He wants us to tell him if we get haunted. It seems like he is hoping for us to be haunted so he can write a new book about us. Reynard, in a Salesmanship-off with Volo, convinces him to fully furnish the place along with a free crate of wine and a ton of beer.

Reynard wants to turn the place into a bordello. Nobody agrees with him, but nobody shoots down the idea either.

Volo wants us tomorrow in the castle ward to sign the documents for the property hand-ver.

We divide the gold into a six way splint:

3g

13s

41cp

Friar Basil heals me for 3 HP.

Later in the afternoon, we go to the courthouse to witness the transfer of the deed. They ask for 25gp. None of us have the money. Lesser Bors pays for our bills.

Next few weeks we settle in. When the half-orc comes by, Reynard hides upstairs. Half-orc Yagra is super sad. She trudges off.

Surrounding the Manor is a series of private residences and a few businesses. It is in the Northern Ward.

A few weeks pass. I finished learning my spell for level 2. I also learn a bunch of the spells from the dead half-orc mage.

We all level up to level 2.

We talk about turning our place into a tavern. Reynard's family is trying to get in on it.

We agree to sign them up. We have the following rooms:

Taproom

Kitchen

Larder

Cellar

Cost for workers a month:

Lorrain 2gp/month

Everyone else 1gp/month (3 siblings)

Total: 5gp/month

They want to live-in the tavern. We have brought it home.

Maintenance: 5gp/month

Spells I have learned:

Scorch*

Disguise

Light Sleep*

Magic Shield*

Planar Servant

Jolt

* Succeeded with Mage Cognition Check, I have learned the spell

We decide to open up our bar, so we stop hemorrhaging money. Germund tries to draw a troll skull on the signage for the Troll Skull Tavern, but kinda fails the rolls. It looks like shit.

I try to Sense Magic but nothing really sticks out, but my Arcane Lore check tells me that something is definitely off about this place. It’s def haunted.

Reyard tries to set up some connections for us for wine/beer for our tavern. He goes to the Anderson’s vineyard to get this connection. We ride on my Virtual Horse. We go as a group. This is the vineyard from which we got the complimentary casks from via Volo.

This vineyard looks SUPER successful. They are halflings, bringing conspiracy theories that Pritra might own these farms. Reynard smoothly sidesteps the fact that we didn’t really get the permissions yet.  

Arnold keeps offering his body for business. Everyone ignores him.

The halfling agrees to sell us his wine as soon as we get the proper procedures and permits in order, which will cost us 25gp.

As we are leaving, we hear that Lady Pritra is coming to view the farms, solidifying our previous conspiracy theories.

Sunny is the name of the delegate from the Pritra Farm.

We talk about marketing strategies regarding our bar. Floon gives us 25gp which we invest into the bar. We immediately throw it into the alcohol license and get a contract with Pritra Anderson’s wine conglomerate.

Everyone’s living locations:

Reynard  = Master Bedroom

Germud - Spare Room

Arnold = Attic

Basil = Second FLoor Bedroom

Me = Near the Spire, 3rd floor, near library

Floon offers for us to come to his place to party it up to our communal success.

EVERYONE LEVELS UP

We need a lot of permits for our tavern and extra bouncers to keep people in line.

We need 250gp to deal with all of the guild expenses (meat, drinks, trash).

Basil tries to barter with the aforementioned with his priestly skills with a Salesmentship attempt. He brings it down to 225gp for all guild licenses. We already put 25gp towards this amount.

WE NEED MONEY

I make 3gp/tenday from the scribe guild, so I made 9gp for the month.

I lost 5sp living this last month.

I spent a few silver copying my new spells.

In the previous month, Reynard becomes the boy-toy for a noble lady and receives 5gp.

We need a name for our bar.

We need a name for our adventuring group.

Hirvel pulls Goodacre aside. He’s getting his promotion culled do to being illiterate and working with..me! Joram! What the fuck. Despite his harsh words, Hirvel gives Germund a raise.

Germund earns 30gp/month which he then throws to the bar. So subtract that later from the thing.

January 27th, 2024 - Training and Business

Tarsac 21 is the current date. But before that, we go back to the previous month and describe how we spent it while training.

On Ches 22, Lorraine approached Friar Basil (woke him up) saying that clergy were asking for drinks on the house. It’s always a rough night for Friar Basil so he takes a while to shake out the cobwebs, he plans to go downstairs. Basil says to give them water in the meantime.

Basil stumbles downstairs and meets the priests. He is cordial. These priests are called Golden Eyes, the highest level of clergy for Waukeen. They are his bosses’ boss.

The High Holiday is coming up soon, and the Fair Seas Festival, and after that, Wakeen Tide (?). They want Basil to host the festivities in our bar. The clergy then bring up the strict tithing policy and demand 25% of his profits. Friar Basil has to tithe more than a mormon.

Friar Basil, when asked for the tithe, mentions that we are barely breaking even. Which is true. They somewhat want to station priests here free of charge to prosthelytize. Basil tells them he needs to confer with his business partners before he can give the okay. They seem overall pleased with him and agree to meet up with him in Tarsac (next month).

We decide to advertise. I spend 4gp to advertise using the scribe guild for the upcoming festivals to create fliers. I support my own guild.

On Ches 23. Bruin complains how bad the food is to Lorraine, and she snaps at him. We decide to use the gold Basil donated to buy the contract with the Butcher’s Guild. Germund receives a missive that day from one of the Guard on his off day. It’s his promotion documents. He’s now a Junior Detective. There are a series of disappearances happening in Blue Alley, he is charged with investigating.  Germind, at this point, has applied his full Anti Magic lotion and feels invincible.

Before Waukeentide (the major festival we are preparing for) we have a festival called Fleets Wake. There’s a bunch of festivals all at once in the city. Waukeentide is just one of them.

Flynn and Enzlo are names of the Golden Eyes Waukineers that arrived earlier. We tried to convince them to cover our guild dues in exchange for 100% of the profits. They give us a hard no.

A special visitor to the Tower of Watchful Magisters takes me under her wing: Pritra Anderson. I learn directly from her for a few lessons. I am ecstatic. She is my idol.

Germund spends most of his time with Lesser Bors and Greater Bors. They really are teaching Arthur but Germund happens to be there. Arthur is like 14 at this point. Maybe Grant’s next characer.

On Ches 24, we go to Floon Blagmar’s home in Sea Ward to see if he intends to fulfil his promise of a free party. I’ve asked around about Floon in the interim, and basically found out that Floon’s father was a lush who broke the family fortune. Floon’s mother died soon after his father died from alcoholism. Floon lives in a large estate but with only 1 servant. Floon has no money to his name. His mansion looks like a haunted house as we arrive. I automatically feel a whole lot cooler about this dude. There are no guards at the gate, which aligns with my rumors.

The topiary garden is super overgrown. A meandering walk to the entrance through what might have once been a grand mansion. I’m dressed in my finest tattered robe. Also my only robe.

Back to Floon’s house, we knock on the door and nobody answers for the looongest time. It’s answered by the oldest butler in existence. I tell him that Joram the Bastard’s band is here. Finally, Floon shows up looking super casual. There’s a large gala at Lord Neverember’s house, that’s our free party. We get directions to the gala. We have a few embarrassing back and forths but I still like the guy. He offers us free wine and we head on our way.

We arrive at the Neverember Estate for the ball/gala. I use my Disguise scroll to make myself look like a king (while secretly still in tattered robes). I refuse to spend actual money to rent nicer clothes. Germund actually went to buy better clothes. The footman at the door has some sort of misunderstanding that we don’t have an invitation, but we try to convince them that we are friends of Floon. Eventually, they are too drunk to care, and we walk inside.

Inside, there's a few dozen people dancing, several hundred people talking and drinking. I start stuffing my pockets with the free food.

People sorta snidely make remarks about Waukeen to Basil. He’s kinda too buzzed to care. Waukeen is not crazy popular in Waterdeep. Her main base is in Baldur’s Gate.

After stuffing my pockets with food, I look around to see if I recognize anybody. I recognize Artemel and Greater Bors having fun with Neverember. I go through the crowd pretending to be one of the wealthy elite.

We talk to Lesser Bors and he mentions that Renier is here and that this is Renier’s house. We find Renier and give a general greeting.I sneak off into a dark hallway and summon Bob and fill his backpack with food. I keep going back to the bar and filling Bob’s backpack with food throughout the night. I will eat well the next few weeks.

When talking about slaves, Grant calls them “Prisoners with jobs.”  

Basil gets super wasted and Germund and Bob carry him back. Some dragging is involved.

Germund does an investigation on Blue Alley when we get back from the gala. It’s super hard to find any information on it. Meanwhile, Friar Basil’s life really kicks into overdrive on Tarsac 1 when a shit load of celebrations start happening in Waterdeep regarding businesses. He has to apprentice in these businesses as a novice of Waukeen.

I have to pay 2 gold to pay off my guild dues for both Magisters and Scribes.

-2gp

During this time of training for Basil, he is working HARD with local businesses for his priest training. Tarsac 5 is Golden Nights. I love this night because the nobles throw money out to crowds. I gather up 7gp, 7s and 3cp.

+7g, 7s, 3cp

Tarsac 7 is known as Guilds Meet. Cheap company parties are all over the city.They announce new stuff.

Tarsac 10: Basil is tired as shit since he’s praying all day and working all night. Germund pays 2g for an orator to promote our Waukeen event at the bar. Friar Basil orders banners across the whole block from the Scribes guild for 5gp to promote the event. I promote it among the apprentice mages, who have an unexpected streak of alcoholism. I offer a 5% discount and tell them to say that Germund sent them.

There’s also a day of festivities where the watchful tower of magisters send giant pinatas into the air which explode with candy. I’m a part of it. I steal one of the pinatas, claim it’s a dud during the performance,  and use it for a weeks worth of food.

One day during training, Lesser Bors offers to teach the sword instead of a club to Germund. Germund says no. He likes beating people compared to cutting.

Everyone here gets +1 honor and +1 fame.

On Tarsac 11 a woman stumbles into the bar. It’s the shabby robes of the priests of Waukeen. It’s miriam. It’s  Basil’s mother. She’s a super lush. She demands a drink and says she misses him and talks very loudly how she fed him her milk. Lorraine comes back with a bottle of wine (that Basil requested) and looks disgusted at Basil. When she sees the bottle of wine arrive, Miriam throws Basil aside (mid-hug) and starts chugging away. So much for a mother’s love. Then she demands more whiskey. She wants to live with Basil now. Basil is unhappy.

Basil gets in a fight with Lorraine over the alcoholism in his family. Lorraine threatens to sick Germund on him. Bruin takes Miriam upstairs and she’s puking a ton. Basil dumps her in his room.

Germund and I show up. There’s a big blowup about Basil drinking too much.

We look at the ledger and Basil has been drinking 24 copper worth of ale a day. He drinks 24 beers a day. But he earns 1gp using his healing spells. I am okay with this and tell him to drink it on up.

Miriam pivots in anger to Germund and demands that we find meat. Says “If you don’t want a wife why do you want to learn how to cook!” Miriam comes on to Gerum HARD but he can read a woman about as well as he can read books. Miriam goes in for a kiss. He suggests that they take an evening walk. Miriam runs off crying.

Germund starts cooking and Maeve mocks him. But she joins in and sorta respects him after it turns out he’s a good cook. Maeve causally mentions that Miriam went upstairs crying.

Germund tells Maeve the reason why he hates magic: his grandfather locked his parents into the basement and experimented on them. Kind of a heavy thing to unload on a 10 year old girl. But he refuses to learn from books because of it. Same thing for reading. Maeve lets it be known that Lorraine thinks Germund is dumb since he can’t read.

Maeve and Germund talk about how Arnold and I are ugly due to books. Germund uses his position as an adult to attempt to convince Maeve that the written word is the devil. He half succeeds.

Germund goes upstairs, seeking the crying Miriam. Maeve tells him that she might not want to talk at the moment. Miriam is stuck in the library crying. Germund wants to go on a walk with her. Realizing that he’s asking her on a date, Miriam is super happy.  Lorraine is super happy. They have a nice stroll through town. Bruin appreciates that Germund is treating his sister like a lady.

The fliers and the town crier work to get word out on our tavern. The place is packed all Waukeentide. We break even though. We have a lot of the Waukeen priests, hoes from Reynard’s harem, the watch, and various magister apprentices. We have the Lucky Ladder at the center of the bar, people can touch it for 1s (top rung) or the bottom rung (1cp). We claim it is blessed by Timora. I don’t know if any of us actually went to get it blessed.

All of a sudden during our festivities, the City Watch arrive (not to be confused with the Guard). They pull Germud upstairs to the Common Room. They say there are some accusations that he was embezzling money from the Guards. He came as a personal courtesy – apparently          Frewn from Frewn’s Brews has put in several accusations against us. False accusations. They know its all bullshit but they can’t pin him down. Germund is super happy with the information. The City Watch alludes that they are personal friends of Lesser Bors and side with us, but to be careful of Frewn.

After the City Watch leave Germnd comes back down and shouts “They came by because we were having too much fun!” and the party starts jamming again. Germund pulls us aside and tells us the deal. We’re all pissed but happy the City Watch is on our side. Thanks, Lesser Bors.

So we broke even with gold but we got word out. And we have a new business rival.

Tarsac 11, the day after the party. Miriam is excited at Germund courting her, wants to go on another walk. “I’m full of surprises,” Germund says smugly. Everyone else laughs. Because he’s not.

Someone has sent Germund a missive, but he can’t read it. It’s the symbol of Myrt the Money Lender (100 year old adventurer money lender). He’s a mover and shaker in Waterdeep. Mirian reads the message out loud: he wants to meet us in the Yawning Portal and has a business proposition for us regarding the disappearances in Blue Alley. Miriam says that maybe Myrt can solve all of our money problems and seems super excited.

As Miriam leaves, Germund puts a ring of salt around the letter and furiously rubs his lucky coin as he walks away, not taking his eyes off the letter full of written words.

We head towards Castle Ward, wanting to meet up with this Myrt.

As we walk around town we get attacked by a Lion. It fucks me up immediately and starts in on the rest of the crew. We find out later that it escaped from the circus. We manage to fight it off before the City Watch come and ask where the lion went. We point out the direction it headed before giving up on Myrt: we want to go home to tend our wounds.

As we walk in, Miriam hands a wax sealed letter to Germund. I intercept it since I know the written word is anathema to Germund, and it says:

“Stop prying, or start dying.” We assume it might be related to the alley. Despite that, Germund says “Well now we know who sent the Lion.”

Oh Germund.

February 10th, 2024 - Family Drama & Alley Disappearances

Renier is being played by Andrew L.

It’s the morning of Tarsac 13. Renier has been coming to our tavern for a while now, he just loves slumming it.

We talk about the Chinese couple fighting over light bulbs. I missed that meme.

It’s super early morning, Germund just got off his night shift. Mirium (Basil’s mom) is harrassing Lorrain and Bruin in the bar. Germund tells her to stop, and immediately becomes a target to her lush attention. She hugs and breathes hard on Germund and he sorta just stands there straight as a pine, awkward.

Marian is the name of Germund’s flame, not to be confused with Mirium.  Damn Brett’s naming sense.

Miri (Mirium) has rolled up a tab of 3g and 9s. Miri apparently got to some of the expensive bottles before dawn. Germund, full on City Watch, pulls rank and says she can either leave or be sent to jail (for theft). Miri continues to be a mean bitch. She tries to pop Germund in a sucker punch. Grant rolls a nat 1 to defend.

Germund gets clocked by Miri, who then tries to rush the door. Germund, knocked down, uses his rape whistle while Lorrain rushes (and crits!) Miri. Lorraine clocks the shit out of Miri and she is knocked out cold “I sure wish we had the guard to protect us” Lorrain says resentfully at Germund.

Arnold is the only one who is awoken by the fight (it’s about 6am). He goes downstairs. One of the tables have been overturned, members of the city watch are on the front step, some old lady (Miri) is on the ground, and Germund is giving a statement to the Watch. What chaos.

The Watch is asking Germund “At what point did the old lady overpower you?” LOL

Everyone else sleeps through the noise. Arnold says “You got beat up by an old lady?” and Lorraine says “Yes he did.” Germund denies the claim. He’s all “Fuck yall I’m going to bed.”

When Basil wakes up at 10am-ish, Maeve says “you better come downstairs Basil, something bad happened.”

20 minutes later Basil stumbles downstairs to see the rest of us having breakfast. Germund is somewhat happy that her burden is gone. Arnold says “Reynalds mom beat up your mom!” Germund says that she assaulted him and is in jail after stealing from the good shelf.

Maeve looks pissed that Basil doesn’t give a crap about his mom. In the sense that he lets her run amok in the bar. She and Reynard talk about the situation in Reynard’s room.

Lots of arguments happen regarding Basil’s mom. Basil threatens to pull out his investments (he  injects the most gold so far) and wants Germund to not press charges and get her out of jail (she attacked the Watch). Meave wants Lorraine to take in Miri to help her out. It’s sweet.

Miri is a notorious town drunk and put up a 500gp bail. Otherwise she will be there for the end of Tarsac.

Basil covers her tab. He’s still pissed that she’s in jail.

Germund says that the date is the 13th and we shouldn’t meet with Myrt since the day is unlucky. Everyone ignores him.

While we are all talking a young elf walks in, “Excuse me milord, I hear that you are a new tavern in town. Me and my friends are looking for a corner to play our trade” as he pulls out some musical instruments. They sound good when they start playing. They want free food and drink and we will get 50% of their earnings. Basil tries adds some constipulations, but fails. We agree to their terms. Germund: “There’s three of them (elves). That’s a lucky number”. Me: “They’re elves. They barely eat. This is good.” Basil give them priest blessings.

Pip, Merry enter the room and they are super fat humans. They look like they could eat a horse. We have made a poor deal. Lol.

Basil says he blesses the ladder every day. Which we take as code for peeing on the ladder in the middle of the night.

We decide to head to Myrt the Money Lender at the Yawning Portal. Just as we are about to leave, we have a visitor show up.

A Corporal of the Watch shows up at the bar. “What’s up Goodacre”. His name is Raven Stormshield. He’s a beat cop. They adjourn to the Den on the second floor with beer. They talk about Hirvel, who is nicknamed Captain the Bastard.

Raven asks if Germund has been made an inspector for Castle Ward. Germund says yes. When asked if he has any leads, Germund says no. Apparently, also, Germund hasn’t read the case file at all, because he can’t read. Raven says Lady Condefree has a lead regarding the case. He wants to help us solve this case. He leaves a few tips and takes off. He offers backup if Germund ever needs it.

Germund calls a meeting in the Den regarding the case. He holds out the file which I immediately read. It’s regarding a noble woman by the name of Lady Gondefree. Long story short, she found out her husband was a murderer. She killed him when she found out with a knife. She became an honorary member of the city watch. She’s a vigilante like batman. Her last known location was Blue Alley. There’s a 50gp reward to find her.

Tarsac 14. We finally get around to visiting Myrt. We want Renier to join us in the investigation since he’s an expert at being kidnapped. I convince Germund to buy a dray for us. He does. The joke is that the background music is “Don’t Forget About Dre”.

We arrive at the Yawning Portal. Just before noontime meal at this point. They ask us for an order an we all order stuff, I get Germund to pay for me again. He’s finally starting to be a little ornery. I tell him I will pay him back, and that my wallet was stolen by a dog.

I will not actually pay him back.

Crystal says she loves Sam, specifically how well she takes care of her cats.

We wait a while for Myrt to show. Until evening. Reynard tries to listen in on rumors over the period of time and hears some young elven and human maids talking and laughing over wine: “Have you heard about the disappearances?” “Yes, I shouldn’t tarry here much longer”. Which indicates that Castle Ward is a bit alarmed at the crime spree.

Arnold tries to flirt with them and they leave.

Later in the evening, a man meets eyes with us. He has a large, walrus style mustache. It is Myrt. He greets us. I show him the letter he sent us. Reynard quickly takes point with Myrt, who throws a leather file on the table which I quickly read.

Years ago a reclusive mage constructed a dungeon on Blue Alley. The dungeon is supposed to be full of treasure, but very dangerous.  He wants to find a piece of something called “Celestite Unicorn” that looks and feels like white marble. The cobblestones in Blue Alley are made from blue stone, hence the name. Only those who are invited can find the dungeon, supposedly. He invites us to find it and bring back the statuette.

Reynard takes point in negotiating. He wants 25gp extra. Myrt offers to pay all guild fees for our tavern and, Germund says “THATS A GOOD DEAL”, and he stops saying anything else. We have an accord. We agree.

We immediately, at sundown, head to the Blue Alley. It takes 45 minutes by walk (drays are done for the day). Most businesses are closed at this point. We head towards the alley but get interrupted.

A fucking elephant from the circus attacks us lol.

I use Shield. -50 SP.

I charge it and hit hard but it attacks back and I get -9 to my shield damage. It does crazy damage to the surroundings but we eventually just watch it run away.  

We decide that we need to get some lawyers involved in suing the circus. We need a major settlement. Personal injury lawyers, here we come.

We approach an alley with translucent blue stone. We come to the mouth of an alley. A tin sign on the western wall has “Blue Alley” written on it. We walk into a podium made of the same sodalight in the center of the alley. On top of the podium lies a quil and a book. The book is bound in blue leather. Blue appears to be the theme.

The book appears to be a registry of names. Inside the book has hundreds of names. About a quarter of the names have a line through them. I recognize the names of many of the adventurers.

Tordec frostbeard.

Karla Marx.

Anders Stormwind

Etc.

Lady Gondefree has her name crossed out. Not a good sign.

It looks like we need to write our name in the book to enter the dungeon. According to logic.

Reyanr finds a magical wall of force. Germund does the same. I take the opportunity to tear him a new one about his stupid anti magic lotion.

Germund signs his name in an X. I sign next. We both walk through the wall of force without being impeded. We all sign in and enter the dungeon.

An ominous voice: “Now you have a time share! Mwahahahaahh!”

WE CONTINUE THE ADVENTURE NEXT TIME

February 24th, 2024 - Into Blue Alley

The walls appear to be made out of sandstone, about 20 ft tall with a roof. The alley goes for quite some time (a few hundred feet). We can still hear sounds of the city from outside, so it is still connected to Faerun somehow.

There is a T-intersection going left (West) or right (East). On the Northern wall is a mural of adventurers falling into traps. A word “Silver” is above the arrow pointing East, and a word “Gold” is pointing west. Reynard notices letters within the mural (when scrutinizing it) and she sees “50 feet South of the bard window is a secret door” hidden in the mural. He also finds a depiction that looks like 6 figures that look EXCACTLY like us. And they are dying from traps. Creepy.

Germund flips a coin and we decide our direction. We go left, which is west. We get to the end of the hallway and it bends right. It goes North. There’s a door at the end and at midpoint. We head to the door  and it doesn’t appear to be trapped. There are depictions of wild beasts on the door. The door is not trapped but locked. I try to look through the keyhole but Brett shuts me down.

Btw, I have lived in this city my entire life and have never seen this alley before. I let everyone know we’re in a weird area.

Arnold tries to open the lock and fails. We move onto the Norhtern door.

I find no traps or locks (note to self: Scrutiny in the future will no longer be the skill to ascertain this). Germund cop knocks on the door and receives silence. We walk in. The room is a cube about 20’x20’. It appears to be a pasture with a water trough. LIke a field in the middle of nowhere. Weird. Two silo-looking buildings border the large courtyard area. I know from my knowledge that it is illusory and tell the group. Each silo has a pedestal and an ox skull. The ox skull horns have, imblazed upon it, the edges of a key (I think?). When Reynard picks it up, the pedestal sinks it. At the same moment, the door slams shut, locked. We are trapped. We hear a faint “moo” in the background. The sky darkens and in the middle of the pasture a minotaur appears.

We fight the minotaur. After its defeat (in which Basil gets really fucked up and I’m not much better), we find a key. The key is ivory.

Everyone gets +1 honor

We decide to use the key on the weird animal door in the previous room. The door is ivory.

Reynard opens the door. The room appears to be whitewashed, with murals of treasure chests on the wall. To our right (southern part) there is a reinforced wooden chest. It appears to have no lock. I convince the group that it might be a mimic.

We have Arnold shoot a few things at it (and Reynard). It appears unaffected. I open it up from a distance with my septum. It appears to be filled with gold.

A mimic falls from the ceiling. It *was* the ceiling. Roll initiative.

I take 11 damage from the ambush and am down for the count in pain.

We finally beat the Mimic after getting fucked up.

There's a bronze bell on the ground.

+1 honor (again)

In the chest we find:

24g

267s

Small bronze bell that fits in the palm of your hand

Silver key wrapped in a black velvet cloth

There are “six” of us here, so divide that

March 9th, 2024 - Further into Blue Alley

I missed this session. But Basil has drawn a map for us:

March 23rd, 2024 - Blue Alley Conquered

Zane’s fight is tomorrow. It is at the Grounds/Johnson Hall at noon. Go Zane.

Words were found in each room on the walls of Blue Aley:

Mystro Room/God “Helm” Room - “Get through”

Cozy study w/ poisonous goodberries - “What might and”

Crossbow room - “Can do”

Concrete Room - “A Soft Touch”

Mimic ROom - “This tool with”

Wine Room - “Strength cannot”

Statue Room - painted (might not be important) “Utter madness, pure rubbish”

Room of “riches” - might be for that specific room: “Take only what you can afford”

We left off in the platform room, right after Arnold got his new sword.

I check the arcane lab, cobble together a healing potion.

• Healing potion

We head back to the pit of the elemental room. The elementals are protecting a bunch of treasure. I pass the monster lore check and tell everyone that they are lower level elementals. Germund drops some money into the pit, and they seem like it might be happy?

Germund finds some books in the arcane lab, and throws them at the fire elementals in an attempt to appease them. The elementals seem happy. I am not. Andrew's new character  Lorhac stop him from burning the other half. I read the books that manage to survive and it turns out that they are written by a planeswalking wizard. In it, he chronicles how he summoned these fire elementals to protect his treasure. I will take some of the books to sell later. Maybe do some research.

+wizard journals and other arcane books (30 lbs)

I summon Bob using a scroll and have him carry the treasure.

• Summon Servant scroll

We go to the creepy riddle statue. In the room is a large bronze statue of a wizard, with the label “Kyler” at the bottom of the statue.

“Utter madness, pure rubbish” is scrawled on the wall in the room. I figure out that we have to form a riddle from the words on the walls of the dungeon.

I solve the riddle using the words above. “Strength cannot get through what this tool and a soft touch can do.”

Afterwards, I receive a wand that appears to be magical. The statue claims that it is a key.

• Magical wand/key

“All that is yours is mine, and what is mine cannot be hidden” in Dragonic is said from the statue to me. I understand and translate for the group.

We go by the skeleton in the hall, which had apparently opened a hidden door to the West (which is not on the map). It was actually the path from the North.

We go back to the halfling door. It has a gold-like insert on it. Germund opens the door with a gold coin. It is a pay-to-play door. Inside, he finds some rare wines. 6, specifically. 2 of the bottles are health potions.

+6 expensive looking wine bottles

+2 health potions (they can be watered down to be 4 lesser potions)-> Germund

Reynard knows we can fence these wine bottles for 10gp for a bottle to a connoisseur.

We head back to the map rooms. We bicker for a while about how we will get across the pit trap. While we argue, Germund simply climbs down and throws us up the rope. Lorhac ties the rope off and goes down just as Germund fails to climb up on the other side.

Lorhac gets down fine, but I fall, injuring my hip.

We all lament not bringing out the lucky ladder. We decide to build a collapsable ladder later.

I try to throw up the rope and fail. My weak strength fails me yet again.

Eventually Reynard reties the rope, and with Bob’s help, descends to us.

We human pyramid myself up the other side pretty easily.

There is a silver door with circles of various sizes inset. There is a silver lock as well. We happen to have a silver key with us.

The door that looks like it could also be an anchor for the rope. I tie it off and support the rest of the group climbing up.

The door is silver plated or something.

We talk about voodoo and how the more we know about it the more we are vulnerable. “Just like I was taught - ignorance is strength” - Germund

Germund talks about how we need to avoid witches. I agree with him, strangely enough.

Germund puts the key in the door, refusing to look at it in case it’s magical. The door opens. Giant steel balls start pouring out. Everyone but Reynard takes damage from the trap. We take our health potions to survive.

• The health potion is gone (I drink it to survive)

I go around the room, and almost get caught in a bear trap. I notice that the room is COVERED in bear traps.

Just as i do, skeletons roll out of the wall and attack us. We enter combat.

We funnel the skeletons into the doorway. Germund gets messed up tanking for us until Reynard clubs them super hard (I used monster lore to tell everyone to switch to blunt weapons). The skeletons all disintegrate at that hit, simultaneously. I mention that this seems to indicate that it is a summoned creature. Everyone gets further on edge.

We go back into the room, which is dark. There is a bunch of treasure in the room, which we see from the light of Germund’s candle. There is an unidentifiable number of bear tracks left. We try to identify the bodies. I light a torch and we look around the room.

I grabbed up two small shields from the dead skeletons. The others grab shields as well.

+2 small shields

We make our way around the room very carefully. I get snipped by a trap but first aid it away.

In the room:

Reynard finds a healer’s kit and a glaive

Lorhac finds a war pick and a pair of bronze scissors shaped like dolphins in the metal

Joram finds a tiny silver brooch like a stylized raven in flight made out of real silver, and a length of chain about 10 feet long. Chain is rare. The chain weighs 20 lbs.

Germund finds a nice blanket and a strange stick that feels warm to the touch when he picks it up

To the East is the room from where the skeletons poured out of. To the north is a long flight of stairs up.

The healer’s kit increases my First Aid by one level. I exchange the chains in my hand with Reynard for the kit, which weighs 10 lbs. The chains weigh 20, so I feel like I got the better of the bargain.

In the skeleton room, we find a mural of a number of skeletons in a bleak landscape. Skulls filled with rubies adorn the altar. They look super cursed.

Lorhac decides that they are not trapped and fearlessly gets closer to the altar to grab the rubies, ignoring the bad feeling he gets in his gut. He is almost immediately attacked by a demon, but not before he grabs a small piece of malachite.

We all run away, except for Lorhac, who throws the stone away back at the altar and the thing is unsummoned. But not before it swipes at him, permanently reducing some of his stats.

We go up the stairs to the north. In front of the door at the end is a whirling blade trap. We see body parts and blood all over the place. Not many people got past this point.

I spot a lever on the other side of the traps.

Reynard decides to just challenge the gauntlet of blades. In what is perhaps the coolest display of acrobatics we’ve seen yet, she avoids every blade. Rolled a nat 20 and a 19. She pulls the switch and all the traps disarm. Husaah!

I pull out the wand as we approach the door. The door slowly opens, magically. Thank you, riddle-wand.

The room has a pedestal with a red velvet pillow. There is a stone outline of a portal at the far side of the room. It might be the magic exit.

As we approach the pillow, we hear a voice say “Congratulations” in a sarcastic voice. There's 4 copper pieces on the pillow. The wizard has left us a shitty consolation prize. They are NOT collectors items. Just 4 relatively useless copper pieces. What a dick.

I grab one of them anyway. Money is money.

We go back for the wine and books and Bob at the spike pit. We go through the portal.

We find ourselves falling, and then deposited in a heap in a dead end alley in Waterdeep. We land in a pile of refuse. The stone walls are covered in graffiti and it smells like vomit. It’s now almost dawn. Germund asks a person the name of the alley and they say “it’s just a dead end alley” like it’s obvious. “Dead End Alley, eh? I understand,” Germund replies. But he doesn’t.

We eventually figure out that we are on the other side of Sea Ward. We’re tired and just want to sleep. We decide to head back to the Lucky Ladder. It takes another hour of walking.

It’s about midday at this point. We arrive at our tavern. Lorraine is happy to see us alive. We send a courier to ask for a meeting with Mirt. We shower and crash for a day.

After a long sleep, I cast sense magical aura. Both wands and the arnold’s sword are magical. It will take a few days to figure out exactly what is magical about them.

We meet up with Mirt. We hand over the celestite unicorn. The “Lion King” soundtrack plays in the background of Brett’s computer just as he holds the Celestite Unicorn. It looks like he is holding Simba up for his subjects to see. We all get a chuckle out of it.

The wizard we stole it from is of ill repute. He did seem like a dick. But still, if the journals are true, he was able to walk the planes. That’s something.

Mirt hands over a promissory note for all the guild fees in Waterdeep for our tavern. We have to show it tomorrow. It has his personal seal.

He asks if we want any other rewards. I ask him if he happens to have any magical grimoires.

He gives me a twisted up scroll in a tube.

Lorhac asks for ability score damage healing. Mirt sets it up at a local temple.

Reynard asks for some investment in our tavern. He opts to increase the decor, increasing our evaluation by one step. Good for us!

• 500gp investment in the tavern. Mirt & friends eat for free. He will be upgrading our bar. Plus, he semi-backs us now.

He will also replace the sign that Germund did. We all take a moment to mock his writing.

Mirt says on Tarsac 26, he plans to visit us. We need to get some actual good food. He wants roasted pheasant and jellied eels. Gotta figure out the current date so I can plan ahead.

The new spell I get:

Apprentice level magic: Aura of Innocence

Lorhac joins the fighters guild (the dragon style gym). He was asking about the thieves guild, which triggered Germund, who is still part of the city watch.

Germud finally caves in: he decides to ask Maeve to teach him how to read. She agrees to help, and keep it a secret. But he has to take her sister out every time she tutors him. Germund agrees.

WE LEVEL UP TO LEVEL 3

Those here get +2 honor and +2 fame

When Reynard goes to fulfil the contract with Anderson Farms to get the wine, she meets Pritra. She gives him a free telescope.

+telescope

Pritra says her her grandson’s birthday is coming. She handed him a telescope. Lol.

We watch as all the new furniture being delivered to the tavern. Lorrainne is super happy.

April 20th, 2024 - Froon’s Goons

We spend 4 10-days training. We all talk about what we do during our training montage. Lorahc takes over the Den of our Inn as his living space. He also becomes the Inn carpenter/handyman.  

On Tarsac 16, we hear a knock on the door of our tavern. A crowd of mostly humans are carrying large boxes and platters of fruits and foods. A man and a woman are taking point in talking to Reynard, who answers the door. “My name is Embric, this is my wife named Abby. Welcome to the neighborhood,” and hands us some free stuff. Super nice. We get free muffins too from a guy named Tally, the local blacksmith. Etc. All our neighbors descend upon the Lucky ladder to introduce themselves and also advertise their services. Private eye guy introduces himself, along with a grocer and a bookstore person. I super know the bookstore person, as their shop was my haunt even before we opened the Lucky Ladder.

I do magical weapon research:

Zane’s weapon is an Elven Blade, the lowest grade of magical weapon. It glows blue when orc kin are around. Or under the moonlight. It’s basically Sting.

Wand of Unlocking - Mine, 3 charges total

Wand of Light - Reynard's, 5 charges

+5 Honor and Fame as the citizens find out we solved the case

As Friar Basil shows up for his clerical training the city guard arrives, wanting his official statement. They insist on an interview just as Basil is about to leave the tavern, and Basil agrees and leads them upstairs for a private meeting. When they sit down they mention that his mother Mirriam is in the clink and Basil mentions that he doesn’t have the money for bail.

They sidestep that and the guard say that Mirriam has made claims that there was inappropriate actions against her and she’s kinda petitioning for legal intervention. Mirriam says that she was mistreated by Reynard’s mom then, more seriously, accosted by Germund. Basil starts trying to drink heavily out of stress, but is stopped by the guard. They take claims against the watch seriously.

Basil was not there when any of these events might have happened. He admits, truthfully, that he was asleep at the time. The reason the guards are taking it so seriously is to secure the honor of the City Watch of which Germund is a member. They are really just trying to see if Germund was excessive in his arrest. Basil, now an hour late for his appointment, opines that Germund was a bit excessive in his arrest of Basil’s mother Mirriam.

Basil takes them to Germund’s room, but Germund is gone to work/train. In fact, Basil is the only one still around, everyone else is actually busy. The guards take off after fulfilling their interview. Lorraine briefly questions Basil before he takes off for clerical training.

I add spells to my spellbook and make copies for my backup spellbook.

-16 silver

Germund turns in his report about Lady Gondegree - a WRITTEN report. But it has the i’s with hearts on the top like an 8 year old schoolgirl. They are unimpressed with Goodacre’s “It was magic '' response. They are astounded that Germud is reading and writing now. They are unimpressed with Germund’s work on Blue Alley since there’s no evidence and they close the case with “unsolved”.

Germund actually solved the case but he’s so bad at conveying that fact that he is almost demoted due to lack of results. Poor Germund.

Germund, a secret gourmand, picks up some extra spices for the inn to make himself feel better. Lorraine isn’t a bad cook but it isn’t particularly exciting.

Another day, the city watch are talking to Lorraine in the bar. Our place has become a sort of cop bar at this point, due to Germund’s connections. “No I won’t tell you where he is, that’s my son!” Lorrain is yelling at the Guard. At that point, Basil stumbles drunk downstairs “What can I do for you gentleman? I am Basil, proprietor of this Inn. Can I get you a drink?”

They have cast detect thoughts and ask Basil the location of Raynard’s person. Basil, being drunk, really can’t answer the question. They intimated him to into showing him Reynard’s room. Reynard is wanted for offending a high noble for some reason. They needlessly wrestle Basil to the ground and read him his Miranda rights. “I have rights? I love this city.” They black bag Basil’s head and drag him away.

Basil finds himself in a room with no windows. “Were you an accomplice to Reynard in impersonating a member of the Lord’s Alliance? Were you aware that he was seen in the bedchambers of Lady Sussex two tenday ago?”

Reynard is off training for a few days. In the meantime, we all figure out that Basil is missing and under arrest to find Reynard, who is under suspicion of impersonating a lord. Their arrest is completely illegal.

I tell the bad news to Germund, and recommend we bring Greater Bors into this along with Lady Alethra. This situation is above our pay grade. Germund talks to Bors the Lesser to get them involved. They have a training session later that day, and Reynard’s family comes along to plead their case.

“I think Basil could stand to be there for a few days,” Lesser Bors chuckles when told that Basil is in jail. When asked to help, Lesser Bors is super resistant to get involved due to the fact that he doesn’t really know Reynard, or Basil. He doesn’t want to put his honor on the line for men he does not know. Eventually, he is convinced to ask Greater Bors to do something.

A day goes by and Basil is greeted by the guard: “Looks like someone above has taken a liking to  you,” and frees him. He tries to confirm that on Tarsac 13 that Reynard was with Basil. They want him to write down a written statement to affirm that fact. In truth, we were in Blue Alley on that date, so the allegations are completely false to begin with. Basil signs the written statement, which might be magical.

Basil walks home after being kicked out of jail, jarred at being fully sober for the first time in a while. While Basil was in jail, Mirt’s new furniture and tavern upgrades arrived. When Basil shows up at our newly upgraded tavern he exclaims “What year is it??!” As he shouts this out, a local child kicks a ball and it inadvertently (?) hits him in the face. Then the child’s friends try to mug Basil, making the ball kicking seem a lot more on purpose. Basil kicks the children in the face and generally beats them away. The rest of the gang (who he notices now are carrying weapons and are 14-15 year old children and young adult gangsters) threaten him in the name of Emmit Froom, the rival owner of the tavern down the street.

When Friar Basil arrives, everyone is super happy. I give him a look over to make sure he’s not injured, and he looks (relatively) fine. He immediately takes a drink and mentions Froon’s Goons. We all talk about the date that Reynard was accused and we were in Blue Alley at the time, so the charges are completely fraudulent.

We all agree that Froon is now quickly becoming a problem. We talk about buying Froon’s Goons and sending them back to him. I bring up setting his tavern on fire, citing Pritra as inspiration. She’s been teaching me some magic lately, and some of her proclivities are starting to rub off on me.

We all head over to our local detective office, wanting to hire him to figure out what Froon’s deal is. Vincent Trench shows up in a trench coat and a fedora. He talks like Dick Tracy.

Vincent agrees to investigate both Froon and the nobles that accused Basil in a two-for-one deal. He normally charges 50gp per case, but he will do both for us as a neighbor discount.

With myself crying real tears, we all contribute 50gp collectively to hire his services. Vincent  recommends that Reynard make himself scarce for the next few tendays, as the great nobles are involved. We unload all of the things that Froon has done to annoy us and our business. He shows us to the door and he counts our gold as we leave.

Reynard continues to practice the “breaststroke” for his training. With his female swim instructor.

Loot from Blue Alley (everyone’s cut):

+4 gold from the treasure chest

+11s

+11s

(add to inventory, the -10gp from the detective was substituted (should have 2gp left))

+44s

+1cp

Tarsac 24, we are all in the bar. Thugs enter the tavern. They look like a gang of cutthroats. They are all armed. They smash some of our merchandise, so we start to fight back. Roll initiative.

We destroy the interlopers, with no casualties on our side. Bruin was a bit bruised, but everyone else is fine. Germund, in a show of master glaivmanship, takes out their leader in some really heavy strikes. All the other thugs run away.

Now we have a murder in front of our bar and the escalation between us and Froon is at a new level. We also have to wine and dine our business partner Mirt the Moneylender in 3 days. Also, did Germund ever get that reward for us for finding Lady Gondefre? And have we heard anything more about the Stone of Dalore?

Brett finally turns off the song “Closing Time”

THESE ANSWERS AND MORE, NEXT TIME!

May 4th, 2024 - Germund’s #metoo Moment

Tarsac 24. Some of our new furniture is destroyed. There are two dead people. I search the body of the main boss,

+30s from the body (everyone gets 6s)

The wounds on the main assailant mysteriously healed during the fight (I was told, I was across the room at the time), making the whole situation weird. After examining the body I determine that the dead assailant is a lycanthrope. There is a wizard working with the Guard, who has shown up in the interim after Gerum called his colleagues. He casts Speak with the Dead on the body to get some answers.

When the body was asked its name: “I was called Murdock”. When asked if Froon sent him: “My contract sent the guild. “ “What guild” “The Zanatars.” We find out that he is in fact a Wererat. He also confesses to being paid to trash the Lucky Ladder.

I bring up the fact that Froon has made multiple attempts to take down our tavern to the Guard, but their hands are tied, since he has covers his tracks well. The Guard agree to leave 2 guards at our tavern for a period of time (like a day or two). I go upstairs to wake up Lorhac so he can start our furniture repairs. Get to work bitch.

Germund and I go to the Tiger’s Eye Detective Agency and talk to Vincent Trench. We bring him up to speed on the changes in the investigation; that we are now being sent lycantrhope assassins from Froon via the Zanatars. Vincent Trench mentions that the Zanatars are based in Skullport, which neither of us knew. We talk about the smell of coffee, which we have never encountered, that is filling the air. I go to wake up Reynard so we can go get a pheasant for our important guest Mirt. He is showing up in 2 days and we need to get ingredients.

As Germund talks to Lorraine, he mentions that Mirt the Moneylender is coming to our tavern, which instantly ups his stock in her mind. She also freaks out a bit, since we need to prepare. She will learn to make jellied eels, one of his requested meals. That’s when the caffeine from coffee I sampled at Vincent Trench’s place kicks in and I love it. I need more thinking juice.

I summon Horse and Reynard and I go to the market, while the rest of the gang takes a dray. I ain't paying shit for transportation, I use magic. Bitch.

-140 SP for 4 hours of Horse

Their dray goes by what appears to be a fight in the gang war (Zanatar’s versus something). They don’t intervene. It was a random roll by the DM, they kept going on by. To the Dock Ward to find eels to buy for our guest. They find some dock worker and try to buy some live eels. It doesn’t work, since the guy was trying to charge 25gp for a barrel. They also didn’t try to haggle or just buy one eel at a time, but who am I to judge.

Arnold, Germund, and Lorhac head back to the trade ward. To buy the eels they so desperately need.

In the meantime, Reynard and I are in the market on Horse. Reynard does the bartering for 2 birds. They barter down for 8s. I start reading a book in the interim, since merchant stuff bores me.

Meanwhile, Germund and Co. arrive at the market, going past the graveyard district. It has started to rain. They arrive in Virgin Square (named after the supposed sacrificing vrigins to dragons in the distant past).

We talk about Arnorld’s old woman fetish. He “only fucks grandmas”. I still don’t know how the topic came about.

Crystal is almost in tears due to Zane “stealing her kitten”. Lots of cat drama happens.

Everyone has a short training montage while we wait until Tarsac 27. Lorraine is creeped out by Arnold’s looks at her. He defends himself to Reynard: “They keep giving me the look.” Reynard: “What look is that?” Arnold: “The look of absolute disgust. They are obviously turned on”. There’s some wires crossed in Arnold’s hilarious brain.

There is a cooking team trying to work out how to make jellied eels, lead by Lorraine, Germund, and (kinda) Arnold. Germund brutally kills the eel in front of the ladies and it freaks them out.

We all sorta pick at the finished jellied eel. I like it. Way better than dried fish, my staple. We hear a knock at the tavern door, after hours. In front of the door that Germund answers: “I am somethingsoething Blackstaff (didn’t catch the name). I am from Blackstaff Tower. Come tomorrow. To Blackstaff Tower.” A mouth flying with wings says that message then disappears immediately in a puff of magical smoke. Okay.

Crystal is still making baby noises at the cats. Brett warns her off.

My research for the Stone of Dalore is largely fruitless in my spare time. There is no info to be found.

Next day, we move towards Blackstaff Tower. We have to see what they want and get back in time to wine and dine Mirt the Moneylender.

We arrive at the large, tall, Blackstaff Tower. Vajra Blackstaff is the current head wizard, and part of the government as are all Blackstaffs. When we are about to go inside, Arnold notices something that nobody else catches: a man on the run from the Watch stuffing something into Reynard’s pocket.

Five armed men approach us right afterwards demanding that Reynard give whatever is in his pocket to them. They have a weird tattoo on their eye, but otherwise I don’t recognize their affiliation if they have any.

They offer 5gp to take whatever is in Reynard’s pocket. Arnold tries (and fails spectacularly) to pickpocket the item from Reynard’s pocket in front of the entire crowd  and everyone notices. He immediately runs away (with the object) as everyone blatantly watches him. “What the fuck, Arnold?!” I say. Everyone else is surprised as well. The chase begins.

We talk about whether my magic horse can store things in its anus. I pledge to have Joram test it out after combat ends.

We enter combat. I used my horse skills to murder one of them. Yay.

We find 25gp on the bodies. I grab them and split with the party.

+25gp on bodies (5gp/each)

+ emerald (reverse pick pocketed) worth ~75gp (according to Reynard)

The guards arrive on the scene, and question Reynard. Reynard does not consent to a body search (he has the emerald). He says his name is Arnold TIcklebottom and he stays at Froon’s tavern. Good job at lying Sam. Meanwhile, Germund takes care of the watch on the other side of the plaza, and we get away with the ruckus. City Watch don’t even really investigate after he mentions that we are heading towards Blackstaff Tower.

We are important, damnit.

When they question Arnold, he smooths it over. “I might not have the looks, but I got the gift of gab.” He convinces them that the one they talked to earlier was Arnold Ticklebottom II.

Arnold also convinces the Guard that Germund was raped by the bandits and that arnold only saved him after the fact. The Guard believe Arnold and give Germund a look of pity. Germund’s frantic denials are ignored.

The City Guard take over the crime scene as we leave roughly 100gp richer.

Everyone gets +2 Honor and +2 Fame

Towards Blackstaff Tower! Also, Zane got a kitten for his birthday and named it Mr. Whiskers. Crystal and Lillian are upset.

• 1 kitten

 May 18th, 2024 - Joining the Grey Hands

The date is Tarsac 26.

We have an emerald to sell and Mirt to wine and dine later that night.

Notes go here.

We are in the Castle Ward nearing Blackstaff Tower. It is also the non-official headquarters of the Grey Hands. We walk up to the ornate Blackstaff Tower, created by magic. I tell everyone to show some respect.

The gates open by themselves, like at Safeway. Before we go inside, I put one of the bandit’s shoes into Horse’s ass, to see if I can store it.

As we enter, a beautiful woman appears. Vajra Safar, the current Blackstaff. “Greetings my friends, thank you for honoring my invitation.” We all greet her. Germund tells her that her magic spell gave him nightmares. Reynard introduces himself as Bertrand, since he is still on the lam. Lorhac goes right to business and asks her purpose. She seems to like that.

We were recommended by Mirt the Moneylender. She asks us if we were loyal members of Waterdeep and asks if we want to join the Grey Hands. We all agree.

She points at the top of the mountain. She wants us to go to the aerie

to do some unknown task. I bring up the fact that we have an important business meeting with Mirt in a few hours. She doesn’t appear to care. Vajra wants us to meet her friend Halam in the aerie and  ask him about a further threat. This is our initial quest to join the Grey Hands.  

I convince Germund to use his money to send a message to both Mirt and Lorraine to let them know we might be late or not even there. He reluctantly agrees to open his wallet.

We get to the base of the trail to the mountain. Along the way, some of the Watch point and whisper at Germund, giggling. It appears that word of his rape has spread. The mountain is IN the city, so we don’t have to go too far. The guards take the papers from Reynard to give us permission to enter the mountain and also gives us free climbing gear. I jump at the word “free”.

Lorhac takes point in the climbing as our resident Fighter/Thief.

Germund: “In some ways, climbing this mountain is a metaphor for us climbing the social ladder.”

Crystal brings out the kittens and we have a kitten break.

Lorhac is able to nimbly climb up about 400 feet, putting in pitons along the way for the rest of us. He rolls skill challenges multiple times. We also roll climbing checks and we make it up the mountain.

We arrive at the aerie. Bertrand (Reynard) and Basil arrive exhausted.

There are about 2-300 feet left of mountain above us, but it’s a sheer cliff.

We find a cave, which leads (apparently) to the top. It’s nearing sunset, roughly 4pm. We approach a man at the end of the tunnel in lotus position. It’s probably our monk questgiver.

He has his back to us, but he speaks. “Greetings, my friends. It seems you’re men of quality. I welcome you on your successful climb.” He asks us why we seek to join the Grey Hand.

I try to lie that I’m not in it for the magic knowledge but my Bad Liar doesn’t let me. He lets it slide.

Lorhac asks how we can help the people and he responds:

“Evil’s twin hides its face for now. Expect that to change by springs end.”

+1 Honor and Fame to everyone.

Germund gives Halam incense as a gift and Halam loves it. “This is fire.”

Basil give the man a golden coin, blessed by Waukeen.

I give him no gift, because I don’t want to pay for one.

Like a martial artist, without even looking back Halam throws us a bag with 25gp each. “You are now part of the Grey Hands. All intelligence says that your friend here (he points to Reynard) has a doppelganger in the city. The way down is much simpler than the way up. Use the ladder to take the way down. I will tell Vajra that our meeting went well.” Then he goes on to meditate like he’s fucking Luke Skywalker or something.

+25gp each

Turns out that, yeah, there’s a ladder nearby. Would’ve been nice to know sooner. I tell Reynard all I know about Dopplegangers along the way back, which is that they are able to copy the mannerism and appearance of others, usually killing them beforehand to replace them. We now know why Reynard has had a bad reputation recently. By the time we descend the mountain, it is dusk.

Horse is gone, but a shoe lies on the ground where Horse once stood. It proves my theory: we can, indeed, store items inside of Horse’s ass. Since it is a pure magical construct and not a real animal, I now wonder at its capacity. I will have to acquire a bowling ball next time I go to the market.

Germund pays 1g for a dray for us to get home since nobody wants to walk.

We get back to the Northern Ward. It’s dark now. We see the comforting glow of candlelight at our Inn. We arrive just in time before Mirt shows up. We are all pretty dirty and tired. Gerum and I take baths.

Mirt has just arrived as we go down. He arrives with a lady in her mid 30s. He is dressed up posh. Roxanne is the name of the lady. We all kiss her hand, except Basil who gives her a pamphlet of Waukeen.  

Lorraine and all the kids are dressed up. They seem impressed with the setup. He offers us 25gp each just because he likes us and for helping us with the unicorn and to keep us as retainers if necesary. He seems to really enjoy the dinner.

+25gp each

We have a great time just having a conversation.

Germund asks about the Zanathar and Skullport in particular. I bring up the fact that Froon is using the Zanathar to trash our Inn. He says he will look into it.

He also tells us stories of his adventures. “We went into the Yawning Portal before it was called that. Before, we used to just call it Andy’s Mom’s Vagina.”

I know a little about Mirt’s girlfriend, she’s a noble daughter from a merchant family. I quietyly share this information with the rest of the cadre.

We all close up the tavern after a very successful business dinner. Mirt’s a good guy.

In flies a magic mouth with wings: “Heroes of Crown, attention! Meet at Junction and Tavern, immediately!”

Germund, who was about to walk Lorraine home like a gentleman says: “My city needs me” in a batman voice.

We meet with members of the Watch along the way who are screaming “To Arms!”

We arrive at the mausoleum, and there is an ogre rampaging. We roll initiative.

About half of us swim across the icy river, saving the civilians in the ogre’s warpath. With a clutch spell, Basil Fears the ogre into the Watch guards, who then join us in donkey bonking it to death. Lorhac gets a clutch crit against the ogre which insta-brings it down to the ground, semi-conscious.

+1 honor and fame to everyone for beating the ogre to death

Huzzah! We won! We start heading back home to sleep.

“Reynard! It’s you!” Yagra shows up at the last minute across the street, haunting Reyanrd. Oh god, she’s back. Looks like Reyard’s night is going to be a long one.

June 1st, 2024 - The Rat Pox

Yagra crushes Reynard in her embrace after she spots him across the street. Yagra is super enthusiastic, says she will be in town for a tenday as she holds Reynard in her arms like a small doll. Reynard awkwardly pushes off her affections to another day and mentions that we all own a bar in town and she should come visit. Yagra tries to get together with Reynard right then and there but Reynard remarks on his long day (which is a truth, we did a lot of stuff).

We all discuss the emerald as we walk back to the bar after vanquishing the ogre. Worried, Germund says “We should get back. It’s dangerous to be moist. My mother, a midwife, says it makes you sick. The water spirits will haunt you.” I begrudgingly agree. He is right but for all the wrong reasons.

I try to summon Horse, but it’s mad at me and bites me. Which doesn’t make sense, since it is supposed to be a pure magic construct. I unsummon the horse in confusion. We make a bunch of shoe and ass jokes. “Hey, when the shoe fits…” Joram still doesn’t understand the spell’s failure, though.

We arrive back at the Lucky Ladder. I try Sense Magical Aura on the emerald and it comes up negative. In bad news, it’s not magical. In good news, it’s a giant fucking emerald. I have no idea how much it’s worth, but Reynard says we could fence it for about 250gp. But the fact that the whole situation involving the emerald was sorta weird…it bears more investigation before we exchange it for gold. As we all go off to bed, Germund rambles on about how he heard about a man going to swim once and it made his flesh slough off and that Reynard needs to dry off or he will die. Germund and his weird beliefs.

We all go to sleep and it becomes Tarsac 27. I try to track down rumors about Reynard’s doppelganger. It turns out that there are rumors around town that Reynard is a rapist now. An old crone talks to me. “He kills the ones he rapes, I hears”. Oh god, it gets worse.

Meanwhile, Reynard goes to Vincent Trench to update him on the doppelganger sitrep. Vincent mentions that there is a gang war going on with the Zanatars and the Shadow Thieves or something. Anyway, some sort of gang war. Vincent gives Reynard a quest not related to the case: “I believe your friend Germund told of an attack regarding Wererats. I have a lead, maybe not tied to your investigation, but it could be a thread. A sea captain but the name of Gerald Brisby had disappeared in the Dock Ward. Arvine Marrow, part of the City Watch, disappeared when he tried to follow up on the case.” Vincent says this in a very dramatic fashion surrounded by smoke in his office. He wants us to talk to the dockmaster in Dock Ward for more information to find the missing Arvine Marrow. If we find anything about the Arvine, he will knock off 10% of our fee (5gp in total).

Vincent Trench is meeting with the lords of waterdeep later that day, instantly making him more important in my mind. Only important people meet with the entire assembled council. I meet up with Reynard and we exchange all of our information.

Germund goes to the Artemel estate to reconnect with the Bors’ and appraises them of the doppelganger situation. Lesser Bors tries to insinuate that Reynard might be a witch. “I’d sleep with one eye open, friend. Now let’s do some more wrastling.” They continue to practice wrestling.

Lorhac looks for an expert carpenter trainer in the guild. He finds one for 25gp as he joins the carpenter guild. Waterdeep in general now views Lorhac better, since he has joined a guild like a normal person.

Basil is busy “blessing” the ladder in the bar as he has his liquid breakfast. Lorraine is trying hard to convince him to bathe, and she succeeds after more effort than should have been needed. Maeve leads him to the baths and “accidentally” spills his beer. “It’s okay. People make mistake. Some people make really bad mistakes. Meave.” He finishes his bath at the crack of 11am. He fails his alcoholic check and spends the whole day drinking. But at least he smells better while being lush.

Next day, Tarsac 28. It is hailing. “It’s a good day to stay in and drink” Basil says. Reynard brings up the side job from Vincent and everyone agrees to pitch in, but not before Germund brings up an important subject: “I have heard that Reynard is a witch.” We use logic to prove him wrong, primarily that Reynard is a man and men can’t be witches.

While we have a long bar debate about whether a doppleganger can swim and whether I should dissect it or not if we kill it, a messenger arrives in the rain for Lorhac. It’s in the dwarven language: “Your father is dying and he will be dead in 2 tendays. He has given everything to you,” which is weird considering that he’s the third son. It was signed 4 tendays ago, so his dad is likely dead at that point. “I will always love you boy – Dad” says the letter. Lorahc is now the prince of Mithral Hall. Holy crap, I have to be better friends with Lorhac.

We ask Lorhac about the situation. He explains and decides to hire a mage to use a Sending spell to communicate back. I guess he can afford it now.

We all decide to start the job for Vincent Trench and head towards the Dock Wards to talk to the dockmaster. It’s still hailing out but we decide to head out as a group. I use one of the small shields to cover myself from the weather and Reynard uses one of the pots from his mother’s kitchen to protect his head. We move towards a dray stop and take one to the dock wards.

I summon Horse and the spell construct seems to work better than the last time. Still don’t know why it was acting odd. I’ll have to check the magic circle again when I have time.

As we head out, a flying feather of some kind floats around Lorhac and Reynard; it’s like an origami bird. It’s a version of a Sending spell from people who don’t want their message tracked. The others of the group are largely oblivious of the paper until it sticks to Reynard’s face. The paper bird turns into a written message: “I bought you tickets to the opera tonight. Sea Ward. Formal wear only. Talk to Mirt during the intermission for information.” We briefly talk about what to do that evening and don’t really come to a conclusion. We assume the message was from the Grey Hands.

We take a dray. I try to get Germund to pay for me (yet again) but he doesn’t believe me when I say my wallet was stolen by a dog and finds it on my person. He makes me pay, which makes me sad and sulky.

I will hide it better in the future. Perhaps Horse can be of assistance.

There’s a city guard named Jim Cummings (that Germund knows) guarding the docks as we arrive.  

The dockmaster was murdered. We approach a chalk outline. The chaulk must be magic to keep its form in this terrible weather.

Our informant, who is dead, was involved in some way with the Wererats. Talking to the guard, we learn that the Wererat gang were only subleased to the Zanatars via contract and actually do their own thing as well. Something something Underdark is involved somehow.

The new dockmaster has gone to Castle Waterdeep to report on the murders and is not likely to be found today.

The guard tries to talk to Germund in private. “There is an ill fated rumor in the watch. Regarding you.“

Germund: “We have a business rival. He has been spreading financial crimes rumors.”
Jim Cummings: “The rumors I spoke of are of a more …personal nature. “
Germund: “I have no idea what you are talking about.”

LOL.

After a few embarrasing back and forths the guard finally brings up the rape rumors. Germund rectifies the (hilarious) rumors. Jim Cummings knows Arnold and realizes it is something he would do. Guess Arnold is a bit known to the Watch.

Germund pays for the carriage ride to Castle Ward to continue the investigation. We approach Castle Waterdeep. They give Germund nods of respect as we walk into the guard offices. The rest of us are just his posse at this point.

Reynard is pretending to be a blind man at the moment, disguising himself by covering the whole top half of his face. Since he is wanted and all.

The sergeant in command waits at the front desk. Tough looking human woman. Standing behind the woman, looking outside, is a tiefling with a fedora in all black, muttering to himself. “The sky was grim and deep in Waterdeep that day.” Does a monologue regarding our group being heroes. I like it.

“A mysterious disease is rampaging throughout Dock Ward. We had an informant who was going to inform us about the details but he was murdered. It was about the Rat Pox.” The sergeant goes on to describe the lycanthropy curse that we had previously encountered and the fact that it is now spreading as a plague. This sounds serious as shit.

They are putting Germund on the case, along with every bit of resources he can muster. Even Reynard, who is pretending to be a blind man at the moment, is assigned to the case. We assure the Watch: “It’s okay, he can smell crime.”

The sergeant continues: “Gerald Brisby was the contact we had in the Dock Ward. The go-between was found dead. Captain Marrow fears for the worst.” Gerald Brisby’s address is in the quarantine zone. He is also an ex-ship captain, if that means anything. Gerald’s go-between with the Watch must have been the Arvine Marrow mentioned by Vincent Trench earlier that day, and the source of the chalk outline we saw.

Watchman Bogart Locke, the tiefling, is a detective like Germund and wants an escort into the quarantine zone. The sergeant offers us 200gp to help escort him. We agree.

The body of the dead informant is downstairs in the morgue. I want to take a look at the body, being a trained doctor. Lead Detective Locke follows us downstairs.

We enter the morgue. “It smells like murder,” Reynard says in a dark, mysterious voice. I inspect the body and there are certainly bite marks, as if from many rats. Not much else is gleaned from the body.

The new dockmaster was a first-person witness to the murder, so we decide to wait until he is done with his meeting with the Lords of Waterdeep. While we wait for the meeting to end, I make a quick trip to the Magisters Tower a few blocks away, searching for any knowledge of a lycanthropy plague. I find no pertinent information. Germund goes shopping for chain mail and buys a new set. An hour and a half goes by. The dockmaster comes out. Germund stops him. “What did you see, Dockmaster.” Locke and Germund want to know.

He saw a non-descript man waiting for someone or something at the docks. Eventually, a small group of men approached them and there was a flurry of action. Before he knew it, the dead man was on the ground. He didn’t see many of the details, except that the assailants were young, roughly the age of teenagers. The “wererats” run into a side alley. “Damn teenagers” is grumbled among the group.

We all get deputized to go into the quarantine zone. Germund shows off his new armor in a sort of brag to the Lead Investigator Locke, the Junior Detective. It’s roughly noon now. We take a free carriage to the Dock Ward, complementary of the Watch.

As we approach the Ward, we find a small riot occuring. “Telchur! Telchur!” the crowd is screaming and crowd surfing a blue man over the throng. We’ve never heard of the name Telchur. At some point, the blue man starts to levitate and the crowd pulls him along like he’s a balloon in the Macy’s Day Parade. It looks very weird. We move along, wondering what the hell that was all about.

We approach the quarantine zone border and after flashing some badges we go beyond. The quarantine seems to involve only a few blocks, but I am surprised they were able to blockade it so quickly.

I summon Horse. It seems mad but lets me ride it. Still weird.

In the carriage, Locke asks questions of Blind Reynard. “How did you lose your eyes, kid?” Reynard concocts some flimsy story involving a near-drowning affecting his eyes. Followed by awkwards silence. Eventually we arrive in the Dock Ward. It brings back memories from my childhood.

“I think I know where the sea captain might be,” says Locke. We follow him on foot. Well, I’m on Horse.

Horse summon -130SP for 4 hours.

I inspect the sick people. They are covered in pustules and they smell awful. The sick people have long buck teeth and their noses are becoming pointed and rodent-like. Like they are being turned into Wererats. When asked for help, I reply that “I’ll come back for you…”

I probably won’t though. Got a wererat gang to stop.

We come to a shabby tenement building on Cloak Lane. We go inside, looking for ex-ship captain Gerald Brisby. He is the last connection we have to information regarding this mysterious plague that has broken out all of a sudden. Unfortunately, the captain has been murdered. Locke immediately begins monologuing like an old timey detective about the sorrows of the world. I like this guy.

The captain's body is covered in knife and bite marks (from actual rats). There's a ton of rat footprints leading outside in a trail. I search the apartment. There are no clues except for the hundreds of tiny rat footprints.

On the captain I find a news sheet:

On the body of Gerald Brisby I find a bloody note: “HH 908”. I suspect that HH908 refers to Harbor Holdings, a local bank according to the flier. 908 referring to a deposit box number. I suspect that that is our best clue, along with the rat footprints. I recommend to the group that we go to the bank.  

In the front room is a series of artworks that seems beyond the wages of a mere sea captain. Suspicious. He also has pictures painted of himself with a small girl: “Cat, age 6”.  The drawings look like they are 20 years old, so the little girl (probably named “Cat”) is roughly in her mid twenties now. Something to think about.

Reynard, still pretending to be blind, takes the lead. “Looks like it’s the blind leading the blind, “ Locke chuckles. Germund is mad. “Let’s just follow the damn rats.” We agree to follow the rat footprints first, then hit up the bank.

Horse freaks out yet again. It refuses to let me ride. Reynard suggests that I give it an apple, to which I reply that it makes no logical sense. Horse is nodding hard in the meantime, agreeing with him, but I don’t see it. I don’t have any apples (they’re too luxurious) and it doesn’t make sense to feed a magical construct. I reluctantly try to feed it a dried fish in the spirit of experimentation and it spits it out. The confusion continues.

As we walk, Locke explains: each city in the North has its own Rat King town. They represent the spirit of urban sprawl. I suspect he means to say it is the name of the leader of the local thieves guild. But it also might indicate the prosperity of rat lycanthropy.

Seemingly out of nowhere, we run into a large crowd of thugs. A beholder floats ominously surrounded by a large crowd of thugs. I am terrified. Beholders are nothing to fuck with. I tell everyone to stay calm and don’t fight the damn thing.

We can assume them to be the Zanatars, rumored to be lead by a beholder. It speaks to us in a British accent.

“Tell us about your investigation and what you have learned.” Then it takes an inordinate amount of time to brag about itself. It appears that it is a narcissist.

“Don’t act like you’ve never heard of the Zanatar!” The beholder screams when we don’t offer up information immediately. It screams “Boys! Get ‘em!” and floats off into the distance with some of his men, assuming we will be captured.

Roll initiative.

We fuck up the thugs in a relatively quick battle. Curb stomp them, really.

Germum won an additional honor for being popular in this game.

Current major issues facing our group right now:

• Solve the Wererat plague in the Dock Ward (Watchman Locke’s quest, offered by the Watch. 200gp reward offered on completion.)

• Follow rat footsteps from the dead Gerald Brisby’s apartment to see where it leads. We are currently just in front of said apartment attempting to do just that  
• Visit local bank to follow up on deposit box owned by dead Watch informant Gerald Brisby: Harbor Holdings, 908.
• We are currently deputized members of the Watch
• Wererats are known to have connections with the Underdark
• The murdered captain had a lot of very valuable artwork and what appears to be a female relative named Cat

• Help solve the murders of Watch informants (hired by Vincent Trench to solve, offered 10% discount on services). Quasi-solved when we got involved with Watchman Locke and his quest.
• The Watch was openly attacked by the Zanathars (Germund quest, may be above pay grade, happed just moments ago)
• We received pre-paid tickets to the Opera later that night in the Sea Ward. It is assumed to be from the Grey Hands. We are supposed to speak to Mirt during the intermission, presumably he has information regarding the doppleganger but the message did not go into detail. (Grey hands)
• Tavern-owner Froom has been sending assassins and thugs to harass our place of business, the Lucky Ladder. Seems a bit too intense for a mere business rivalry. He has limited connections to the wererat gang.(Tavern quest)
• Reynard has a doppleganger that is going around raping and killing people, including nobles. We have to track it down and kill it (quest from Halam of the Grey Hands, we were pre-paid 25gp/ea. to do this)
• Increase reputation with the Grey Hands (Vajra Blackstaff, on-going)
• Lorhac is suddenly the Prince of Mithral Hall under very suspicious circumstances after the death of his father
• Mirrium, Basil’s adoptive mother, will probably be released in a tenday or two from her jail time due to attacking the Watch
• Reynard has to continue to pretend to be a blind man in public and deal with a very horny half-orc lady in private
• My Horse spell construct is acting odd and sometimes won’t follow my orders

June 15th, 2024 - Detective Work

Lorhac loots the bodies

+30gp (divided by 5) in loose change = 6gp each

+Pearl, carved like an eye, in his bandana. Undetermined wealth. Ask Reynard next time.

The rat prints are still visible despite the hail, but we decide to pivot in our investigation as Locke recommends the Dr. Ward’s Apothecary as the destination. Locke points out that there were a ton of alchemy vials at the crime scene of Gerald Brisby’s death. I take a whiff of the residue in the vials we find on the scene and try to figure out what herbs were used but I roll like shit for my Botany so no luck. We collectively agree with Locke and head to the apothecary. It is also conveniently on the way to Harbor Holdings, the location I was recommending a visit.

We are lead down the cobbled streets by the Lead Detective. It’s still storming out, making the street slick. The streets are void of people as can be expected in a plague. We approach a nondescript building with “Dr. Wards” emblazoned on the front. Locke monologues in third person about the shop as we approach and nobody blinks an eye. Except for maybe Reynard, who is still blindfolded.

A young woman sits behind a desk with a curtained doorway behind her. “Joy Holtmark” is the nameplate on the desk and she appears to be the receptionist. I see, in the apothecary inventory, vials identical to those found at the crime scene. The receptionist is super not involved and has no idea of her own inventory. When Germund starts walking into the back, she says “no, stop” with no enthusiasm. Very Jenine from Ghostbusters. While Germund does that, I check out the vial and it appears to be smelling salts, but it also weirdly almost knocks me out when I try to smell it. Whatever it is, it is potent. It is weird that there is nobody here in the doctor’s office during a plague. You’d think there would be a ton of people demanding cures.

In the other room, Germund enters to find a room full of jarred leeches and weird herbs. Locke, following, starts monologuing again. He continues to monologue as he and Germund are attacked by a group of men in weird plaguedoctor getups.

We hear the scuffle in the other room and run to join in the fun. We fight and kill several people that rush out of the basement. Head Detective Locke falls in battle the moment we engage the men in combat to a blow to the head. It’s a good thing he’s paying us good money to guard him.

I wake up the fallen detective with one of the smelling salt vials from the apothecary. We have killed all but two of the ruffians, who are unconscious. We take off their plaguedoctor robes. They look like the People from the Hills; they are “special”, with missing teeth and weird scars. Two are unconscious, the rest are dead. I keep the unconscious ones alive with my first aid skills.

There’s no Dr. Ward in the sight. I wonder if Dr. Ward is even a real person at this point, it’s all very weird.

I check the bodies while Reynard checks the desks in the room. There are cages of rats in the dark room downstairs. We find a series of notes and advertisements. One of the parchments suggest that these cultists have been experimenting on criminals and murderers. Reynard reads the other advertisements, which are specifically about this fake apothecary. In addition there is a letter ridiculing the local gangs who keep setting themselves up for being experimental subjects.

There's also a cipher among the papers. The implication being that the fliers are some sort of secret message.

I find 50s in loose change on the bodies.  

+50s

Joram and “Smells Crime” (Reynard’s pseudonym) decode the messages:

I WISH FOR THE DAY OUR LOVE IS NOT HIDDEN

SAW A RAT TODAY AND THOUGHT OF YOU

I WASNT ME WHY CANT YOU SEE IT

I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU THIS IS WAR

It’s a secret message between the rat king and his her lover.

The receptionist Joy has fled. We should try to find her to get more info. No way she was unaware that the place was a plaguedoctor cult of some kind. In retrospect, most likely a stronghold of the rumored Lady of Plagues. She might be the Lady herself for all we know.

While we decode the messages, one of the downed cultists becomes conscious with the help of the smelling salts from the apothecary vials. Germund ties him up, but no shibari this time. Reynard tries to intimidate him with a batman voice and a ton of threats. It super works, and the man tells us what he knows.

“My friends call me Opie but you can call me William.” He works for the Lady of Plagues. Lady of Plagues fell in love with the Rat King. The latter cheated on her with another woman according to the guy. Locke monologues again, something we are all nonplussed by at this point: “There was no good cop, but the single bad cop worked way, way better.”

I grab one of the mysterious vials before we leave.

+1 weird vial from apothecary

We deliver the surviving thugs to the Watch at the quarantine exit a few blocks away and we head to Harbor Holdings, our next lead. Locke is monologuing at the entrance to the bank. We go inside and enter a reception room. It’s fancy and overly opulent. Two male gnome twins act as bouncers, mean-mugging us the entire time without saying a word. An elderly hunched female gnome hobbles over to us and greets us. Specifically, me.

I request the 908 lockbox and have no barriers at all in getting it. Which would have been a tad concerning as a client.

While we wait, Germund talks to the gnome twins: “Which one of you only lies and which one of you only tells the truth.” They are not amused. The elderly gnome lady comes back empty handed. She tells me (since I told her I was the owner) that I need to take a look at it privately but I tell her it's perfectly fine if everyone comes in with me. The gnomes all think I’m weird.

We arrive at the lockbox labeled 908. The old gnome lady says there are a series of security questions we need to answer, and I momentarily panic as I don’t know Brisby’s mother’s maiden name. But she hands us a sheet of questions we need to answer.

We solve the puzzles after a few moments. The gnome lady hands over the deposit box and we go to a private room. Inside the box is 50gp. A toy rat carved from wood. And a sheef of letters.

+50gp

+Toy rat carved by wood

+Sheef of letters:

Arnold touches the rat and it says “Mr. Squeeks loves you!” Awww. The Rat King was an innocent kid at some point.

Germund won the popular vote for taking a beating well, both physically and socially.

Presumed order of events as suggested by Joram:

• Rat King (Catarina) rekindles lost relationship with her estranged father, ex-ship captain Gerald Brisby. She trusts him enough to let him know that she is the Rat King. They grow close.
• Lady of Plagues (Maladie) and Rat King (Catarina) enter a romantic relationship. They each run their own gang.
• Gerald Brisby meets Maladie as she dates his daughter. They all seem to like each other.
• Under the umbrella of love, the Rat King (Catarina) convinces the Lady of Plagues (Maladie) to give up her initial plans to spread the Rat Plague in Waterdeep. The plague was designed to turn their victim into an actual rat.
• At some point, the relationship between Catarina and Maladie sours. Maladie supposedly sees Catarina cheating on her.
• Around the same time, the rat plague that Maladie promised to withhold starts to spread throughout the Dock Ward.
• Catarina, feeling betrayed, starts a gang war as the Rat King, aimed at the Lady of Plagues.
• Maladie fights back with her gang, also feeling betrayed by her cheating. Maladie denies that she was the one that started the plague.
• Gerald Brisby writes a letter to his daughter, begging her to stop the gang war, telling her to trust Maladie. He declares he will find the true source of the rat plague.
• A subordinate to the Lady of Plagues going by the name “RK” writes a letter
• congratulating her for spreading the plague as was originally planned. Also mentions their quiet medical experiments on the other gang members in Waterdeep.
• Gerald Brisby contacts the Watch through Arvine Marrow, saying he has information.
• Before he can deliver the information, Arvine Marrow is murdered.
• Gerald Brisby is murdered.
• Our group is brought into the investigation.

Points of Note

• There seemed to be a lot of motivation by the Lady of Plagues’ subordinates to spread the plague. Especially one named “RK”.
• The Lady of Plagues refused to spread the plague as long as the two were dating.
• Both Arvine Marrow and Gerald Brisby are implied to know the “true” spreader of the plague. Both are dead.
• The receptionist for the stronghold of the Lady of Plagues is missing. It was the only woman on the premises, and the Lady of Plagues is known to be a woman.
• The Xanathars and other gangs don’t seem to know what is going on either.

June 29th, 2024 - Finding the True Culprit…and True Love

We are inside Harbor Holdings. We leave and decide to continue following the rat tracks that lead from Gerald Brisby’s murder scene.

A weird noxious light green fog has settled over Dock Ward. Plague signs are all over the streets as we walk. People are growing tails now. It’s afternoon and the place is starting to look haunting.

There's a makeshift temple to the Lady of Plagues made out of trash in the main quarantine zone. Gerum talks to one of the local worshipers. They talk about the gang war between the Rat King and the Lady of Plagues. The commoner thinks that the Lady of Plagues started it to wipe out the Rat King.

When asked how to appease the Lady of Plagues, they don't have an answer. They sound pretty desperate.

We talk about how we need to get a meet between the two gang leaders. “We should get a boombox and play music loud outside their window” says Grant. Good idea.

A small army of giant rats attack us. Roll initative.

We curb stomp the giant rats, but a few people got bit: Lorhac. But he rolls high and resists the disease. He’ll be the prince of mithral hall yet.

A squeeky voice pops up as we are investigating the giant rat bodies: “Are the rats gone?” It’s a halfling that is not hideous like Arnold. “Thank you You really saved the day.” They approach Germund: “I can show you where the rats came from. I know where the Rat King lives.”

We follow him. We go towards the sewers entrance. Locke shares his concerns regarding the whole situation. At the gnome’s insistence, we deputize the gnome before continuing. Locke monologues again as we traverse the sewers.

The sewers are gross, as expected. We talk with the gnome, whose name is Wash, who is in love with a prostitute named Rose. But apparently she doesn’t know he exists.

We find a bag of golden coins in the sewers, it’s a trap. Lorhac takes a go at it, but he can’t figure out the mechanism. He brings us to the entrance to the Rat King’s lair and heads off to do his own thing. Before he leaves, we learn that he’s a cobbler and fairly successful.  

We decide on our game plan: we want to parlay with Catarina the Rat King. We have Mr. Squeeks as a hostage/offering. We will come with news of her father’s death and the fact that he had discovered the true releaser of the Rat Plague.

We approach the Rat King. She is surrounded by actual rats. I am surprised. I thought the name was a metaphore for a thieves guild or something. But no, she controls actual rats.

“Smells Crime” takes lead in the diplomancy. She explains our findings to Catarina, who uses her rats to take our papers and do other cool stuff with the rat mind control. I need that spell.

Catarina seems to be coming around as we show here wave after wave of evidence.

Just as we are talking, I notice that one of the rats is a Cranium Rat, a rat used as agents of the illithids. The Rat King: “That’s not mine!”

Catarina sends her rats to grab the Cranium Rat. In the meantime, she demands Mr. Squeeks from us, and we give it to her. She says the voice recorded is of her mother.

The cranium rat, still alive, is thrown in front of us. The Rat King: “Tell us who you work for.” Images of mind flayers go through our mind, specifically the Xanathar. It turns out that the whole plague was a distraction by the illithids and the xanathar so the illithids could take control. We see memories of teh mindflayers work with the Xanathar to orchestrate the rat plague. Their goal is to steal a large shipment of slaves at the docs while everyone is distracted.

We briefly talk about telling the Watch before we head out but Germund makes a good point: “How do I explain that I got all this information from a rat dream.”

We decide to work with the Rat King. We all want to stop the Xanathars and put down the beef with the Lady of Plagues. There’s also a large shipment of slaves coming in today that are likely the target of the illithid.

We send Locke to go gather the Watch while we follow the Rat King to confront the Lady of Plagues. She gives us a potion of healing and a dagger.

+Potion of Healing -> Me

+Fancy Dagger+3 -> (Reynard?)

Catarina has a real close relationship with her rats. She and I bond over our Dock District upbringings as we rush towards the scene.

We leave the sewers to hear the throng of crowds above us. There’s a Priest of Ilmater parade going by, which is inconvenient for us. They are handing out blankets and food. Soon after, we hear screams as a woman in a beaked mask (think plague doctor) appears above the people holding a green vial.

In our mind, we hear Locke monologue even though he’s not here. In a way, he’s our Mufasa.

Just as she is about to throw the green vial, Maladie hears Catarina’s voice. They seem to start to make peace in a very public way. The Lady of Plagues seems to be thinking herself a dramatic savior of the people but somewhat reluctant to throw the vial anyway. She is beautiful except for a large burn scar on her face.

“But I want to get everyone sick,” Lady of Plagues whines as Catarina talks her down.

Catarina and Maladie get back together very publicly. They go off into an alley to do something naughty.

I grab the green vial that LoP left on the ground. It will be intriguing research.

+Vial of Death

Locke shows up with the Watch. He’s sad he missed all the drama. They mingle for 5 minutes.

5 minutes later, the Rat King shows up, glowing and with her clothes in a mess. She obviously just had hot makeup sex with Maladie. She hands me the antidote. She says we need to stop the Xanathar from stealing the incoming slaves. We tell the Watch the deal.

I hand over the green vial and the antidote to Locke with a quasi promise to share the research afterwards.

-Vial of Death

Locke monologues while we move to stop the Xanathar.

We rush to Cloak Lane. We disrupt what appear to be a large slave trade happening at the moment. The slaves all try to run for freedom as the Xanatar try to capture them. “They are all black” says Brett. The Watch, in the meantime, are fighting the Xanathar.

We barely fight off the Xanathar and a bunch get away. Half the crew goes down, with Arnold showing up out of nowhere at the last minute.

I heal up everyone with First Aid and use the potion on Germund, who got fucked up.

-Potion of healing

+150s on the bodies of the hired thugs

+200gp sent to the Lucky Ladder for the job well done

We get sent a package wrapped in a cloak with a pair of pan pipes as a present sent to us in the mail. Obviously from the Rat King.

Now we just need to go to the Opera tonight.

The Pipes are magical and the cloak is magical.

We hire a dray to leave the quarantine and head home to shower.

WE LEVEL UP TO LEVEL 4

Everyone here gets +1 honor and +1 fame. Reynard gets an additional one of each due to winning the popularity contest.

July 13th, 2024 - The Gang Goes To The Opera

Things to do:

• Go to Opera later that night in the Sea Ward (have no spell power, remember). We are supposed to speak to Mirt during the intermission, presumably he has information regarding the doppelganger but the message did not go into detail. (Grey hands)
• Figure out magic on cloak and pipes
• Go home and do our month-long leveling up montage a la Rocky
• Joram needs to buy a few pillows (spell component)
• We might have been doing First Aid wrong for long term care, look into it
• See if I can get the perimeter alarm spell
• Join Guild of Apothecaries and Physicians so I can continue to master first aid

Pritra is my master from now on. I have to pay her though. Sounds about right.

Right next door to Sea Ward, there is the home of the Adventerer’s Guild: Holdfast Hall. Squelch lives there and teaches thieves. Fighters learn from Lesser Bors. There’s a tavern proprieter (“WOrld’s End Tavern”) Ricka Avertram (Ranger Rick) who offers training for rogues (Sam). Priests go to their church.

We do the Tavern roll: We lose 45gp.

Before we go into the Opera scene, we all level up with a month-long montage. In the third week of training, a man shows up and talks to Germund. Looks like a human merchant, maybe Illuskan. Claims he’s from the Innkeepers Guild. He was wondering why we don’t have room for guests, Germund says we’re looking for more funds. He wants to inspect our place with a fine tooth comb, but in an amiable way. He seems satisfied. 6 days later we get a visit by Vincent Trench. He says that he has new information: he is almost positive that Froon has hired the Xanatar’s guild and through the wererats. That’s nice, but he also doesn’t have any proof, but I can’t fault the guy. Vincent also says he might have been able to meet a group of doppelgangers but it seems suspect.

A week later, I meet a lady at the bar named Reshall. She’s the owner of the wizard bookstore a block away. She knows me but says “I”ve never seen you actually buy anything” even though I’m there like all the time. Which is true. I love that bookstore. But I usually read and then leave.

Everyone pays 1s tax a month.

-1s

“This is definitely a fantasy game, cause those taxes aint bad.” – Andy

I join the Apothecary and Physician Guild.

-25gp

I pay off my debt for learning Sense Magical Aura

-50gp

Cloak of Elvenkind and the Pipes of Sewers are the magical items. The latter calls up rats. For what reason or purpose, I don’t know.

I take the pipes, for some reason. Reynard takes the cloak.

+Pied Piper Flute

In a flashback, Everyone and Marian goes to see “Tyranus Dragonus”, the opera that is stylized after the fall of Tiamat (Go us in a previoius campaign!). The opera house is in the Sea Ward. Germund orders a fancy carriage that takes 5gp, I don’t know who pays but it’s not me.

We arrive at the opera house, which has heavy security. We have VIP tickets and the carriage goes to the valet parking. We go into a much shorter line since our tickets claim us to be VIPs.  Everyone is dressed up but me. I don’t have fancy clothes so I go in the same robes in which I just killed a dozen or so men. Despite that, it’s Lorhac the attendants are mean-mugging with racist eyes.

They stop Basil to check his staff but he uses Command (“Admit!”) to admit him on religious reasons without checking his weapon. They catch me trying to sneak in with my spetum and I am forced to hide it in the bushes. Everyone else either hides daggers or goes unarmed.

We all enter the opera hall. I ask for the free buffet and they show me the way. Friar Basil is trying to not drink, so he’s in a horrible mood as he fights his addictions. Marianne is overwhelmed and super happy to be here. She immediately asks Germund to buy the most expensive things. He does, not unwillingly. Marianne seems delighted.

Everyone else buys various food and drinks. Except me, who is getting it all for free.

Reynard looks at the beautiful noble ladies in the crowd as a target rich environment.

In the buffet area away from everyone else, I get a heaping plate and a full carafe of wine as the servant begs me to sit in the corner and stop feeding myself. I eat as fast as I can but don’t finish before the opera itself begins. I slide the food on my plate into my man satchel and chug my wine before asking one of the servants to lead to my seat.

The rest of the gang is already in our seats on the balcony, along with Mirt and his beautiful date. Jasmine Artemel is also in the balcony with us, she looks about 12. I forgot she existed. Mirt’s date is very tall and in a very red dress. Lesser Bors is also there and surprised to see us. Alethra, Arthur and Greater Bors is across from us in a different balcony. We are in a super VIP  booth. It’s novel.

The opera begins as the musical instruments finish up their tuning. The Opera is sung in High Elvish so we don't really understand it. But from the music it’s clear that the lady singer is telling an epic story. Greater Bors looks proud throughout the whole opera.

They sing our Neverwinter Nine campaign. Super cool. Lots of magic and storytelling on stage. It’s very epic.

After the show we all go back to the VIP buffet. We all sit down and talk shop. Scarlet is the name of Mirt’s date. The womenfolk go off while the men talk business.

Mirt is friends with Renier, who it turns out, actually bought our tickets tonight. I liked that guy before, like him even more now. Mirt gets down to business. He lets it be known that he is a Harper. He has a mission for us, which I agree to undertake: there is a talking mare among the drey called Main. Mirt wants to find Zhent operatives hiding in the city and Mirt wants me to report the results via courier. Main has information regarding these operatives. Is it a druid or something? I try to ask more questions, but Mirt moves on. I suspect he doesn’t want to be caught as a Harper spy.

The Lucky Lads all continue to shamelessly order food after hours. We abuse the buffet and leave way later than the other guests. The attendants are passive-aggressively stacking chairs on tables as we pack up. We head back to the Lucky Ladder under intense social pressure.

I tell everyone what Mirt told me. Reynard has a good idea to go to the Drey stables to track down the talking mare. We decide on that plan as we head back to the Lucky Ladder.

As we enter, Yagra is waiting for Reynard. She is off-put that Reynard didn’t take her to the opera. She is super hot and in leather, and asks Reynard to “put her to bed”. Reynard tries to say that “he’s tired”. “Tap me in bro” Arnold requests. Ignoring Arnold, Yagra sweeps Reynard up in her arms like a princess and they go off to do things.

At this point, we do our month of training.

Yagra wants to move into the bar to be bar security and to bang Reynard. Yagra and Reynard have a mini fight when he doesn’t immediately agree, but Reynard agrees to bring it up to the rest of us.

There is a very fine envelope sent to the bar. Germund brings the letter before the group. I recognize it from the Silvermane family, one of the servant families from the masked lord families. I read it.

“Gilester Silvermane sends his regards and greetings.” He has heard of our reputation. Larel Silverhand is his master. They both wish to meet him at the yawning portal today to join the Lord’s Alliance and to speak with him. No later than noon.

Meanwhile, in the last month, Reynard’s doppelganger has been murdering lately. Young, beautiful, rich women in their 20s to 30s. 3 have died. So Reynard has to hide still.

So we head out to the bar and take a dray, seeing if the horse will talk. But before we go, Reynard approaches Rick regarding fencing the emerald.

Rick offers to sell the gem for 500gp but Arnold appraises the gem at 750gp. We sell it due to finders fee. It’s the black market after all.

+500gp to everyone

+83gp/each

Reynard looks for rumors for a talking drey horse with a Gleam Information check. He hears of a talking Drey in North Ward.

We all head to the lords alliance meeting. As we go, 4 members of the Watch approach Germund saying that he hasn’t turned in a report to Captain Hirvel. APparently he hasn’t “written it down”. Germund also hasn’t reported in. I offer to help Germund write his reports.

Germund finally admits to the group that he is learning reading and writing from Maeve.

We head to the Yawning Portal via Dray. It doesn’t talk to us.

I buy 4 pillows. Spell ingredients, you know.

-4s (1s each)

We discover a noble from the silvermane noble family in full plate to meet us. The Lords Alliance wants to hire our services. Chillester Silvermane is the name of the dude. The gang war is causing unrest around town, and he wants us to protect the dungsweepers guild. Meet at the Muleskull Tavern at 6 bells (early in the morning) to guard them for a tenday for free to get the next quest.

We agree to their request. As freelance mercenaries, we need all the connections we can get. The Lords Alliance is both powerful and a reliable employer.

Chillester Silverman stiffs us with the bill. 1g3s. Germund pays it.

Next day, we are all in the Lucky Ladder. An argument happens: business is down, the watchmen are cheap (wanting free drinks), we are known for being a solid tavern but we simply aren’t pulling enough and Reynard’s family wants a raise. They want an extra 5s a month. Each. We agree, since they are doing a great job.

Everyone cobbles together some gold and we buy lavatories for the bar.

-200gp from bar money. (-40gp/each)

+1s for each employee/month

We are all talking about bar business in the Den/Lorhac’s room. We all discuss what we have done in the last month regarding our recent training. Rick is now our official fence. We should find more dark items to sell onto the black market.

We’re all sitting around on the second floor of the Lucky Ladder talking about our training and plans when we hear our inn being broken into. Only Reynard and Lorhac hear it.

It’s a cadre of dwarf assassins in black. They are trying to kill Lorhac.

We fight off the dwarf assassins on the second floor. They were tough as shit. Damn dwarves. There are some heavy wounds on our usual tankers, since they didn’t have time to put on their armor.

Basil gets an extra honor for winning popular vote.

+1 honor for everyone

July 27th, 2024 - The Hunchback Requires Basil’s Seed

Current things to do:

• Figure out our group name
• Buy healing potions
• Buy mage spells:

• Invisibility (Inaudibility) (3) LEARN
• Wizard Lock (Arcane Lock) (3) DONT LEARN, HAVE SCROLL
• Illusory Leather Armor (Mage Armor)(2)
• Magic Projectile (Magic Missile)(2) LEARN
• Continual Flame (Torchlight)(2) LEARN

• Find Perimeter Alarm spell at Magister’s tower if I can. Wasn’t at the book store. Or any other cool spell for that matter
• Test out limits of the magical flute I got. How precise can I control these rats?
• Find talking mare amongst the dray called “Maine”. It has information regarding Zhent operatives that have recently infiltrated the city. Mirt wants us to report back on what the mare says to us. Reynard has heard rumors of a talking horse in the North Ward. (Harpers)
• The recent gang war between the Xanathars and the Zhentarum have caused unrest in the town. We have been commisioned by the Lords Alliance through Chillester Silverman to guard the dungsweepers guild for a tenday starting at 6 bells, which is super early in the morning. We are doing this pro bono in the hopes of getting more contracts from the Lords Alliance. Our most immediate quest. (Lord’s Alliance)
• We were just attacked by a cadre of assassin dwarves, assuming to be over the inheritance rights of Lorhac. Find out the details of this whole thing. (Lorhac personal quest)
• Reynard’s doppleganger continues to murder young noble women. Maybe ask around town, find out who was specifically murdered; maybe there is a pattern. The Blackstaff herself has asked for us to take care of this task. (Grey Hands)
• Froon continues to trouble our business. We need to figure out a final solution. (Tavern Quest)

Before buying spells, try to sell some books.

20 minutes after the last dwarf went down is when we begin our session. The Watch question us, particularly Lorhac. The Black Robes will likely speak with us in a tenday, but we are let off. They grab Lorhac for more questioning (Andrew is not here for this game).

Next morning, Lorhac and Reynard are not there.

We wake up early to go protect the dungsweepers guild. Arnold says that he is planning to steal some copper wire later that day from a trailer park and asks if we want to help; Germund (a cop) says no: “Are you being serious? I am part of the Watch.”

We need to head to the Trade Ward to go to the Dungsweepers guild. We take a dray.

We go to a part of Trade Ward at the junction of Carriage and Cog Way. There a group of dungsweepers are supposedly being harassed. We are supposed to stay with them for an hour or two.

Germund and Basil look super messed up right now from their injuries.

We basically just protect the dungsweepers from having rocks thrown at them by children.

We stop at Waukeen’s Wares, the local temple for Waukeen. Basil prays to Waukeen and gives a personal tithe of 10gp to the church. He instantly feels a warm glow from Waukeen. Germund is impressed with the wealth of the Waukeen priests and gets annointed.

Arnold goes off to hire hookers and buy drugs before he goes off to steal copper wire. He wanders off into Dock Ward with 77 gold. He walks into a brothel and orders their finest women and some drinks. “Star. Desiree. Daddy is home. You’re going to have the best 3 minutes of your life,” says Arnold to the two ladies that have come downstairs. They carry Arnold upstairs in their arms like a princess. Five intense minutes later, he talks to them in his refractory period and he gets a connection to some harder drugs.

-2 copper for the drays for everyone

The rest of us head back to the Ladder. Lorraine is talking to one of the neighbors, the book store owner Reshall.  

I tell Reshall that I want to actually buy some books from her and go over there. I spend 100gp and buy a bunch of scrolls with magic spells. I throw in the recovered archmage notes from Blue Alley to soften the deal.

-100gp

-54s to transcript all spells into my main spellbook and my backup spellbook (hidden in my room)

-blue alley notes

I learn the following spells:

• Invisibility (Inaudibility) (3) (cotton balls) LEARN
• Wizard Lock (Arcane Lock) (3) DONT LEARN, BUT HAVE ONE-TIME SCROLL
• Illusory Leather Armor (Mage Armor) (cured leather)(2)  LEARN
• Magic Projectile (Magic Missile) LEARN
• Continual Flame (Torchlight)(2) (cloth with oil) LEARN

Germund replaces the windows of our Inn. He gets along with the window installer, another person from Daggerford.

Arnold wakes up later that night after doing some opium. He finds himself naked in a crate with his coin purse missing. He immediately checks to make sure his kidneys are intact and they are still there. He manages to remember (after a few rolls) the names of the people in the bar who stabbed him in the back. Unfortunately, the location of the bar itself is a mystery to him.

A city watchmen approaches his now-naked form: “We have vagrancy laws, sir.”

Arnold complains that he was drugged and given booze against his will, also sexually assaulted. The Watch just laugh at him and move on.

Arnold starts walking around, looking for the bar, but is lost. He keeps trying to ask for directions but nobody wants to talk to the ugly, naked, drugged-up halfling.

Arnold tries to buy clothes after multiple successive failures (“You should totally just wear a barrel with some straps” was suggested) but they refuse to serve him because he is disgusting. He is eventually forced to steal pants in one of the stores, like the thief he is.  

By pure coincidence, Arnold stumbles across the tavern from which he was robbed. There is a different barkeep. It has been like 6-8 hours since he’s been there. Arnold asks about Star and Desiree and the barkeep says “I have no idea what you’re talking about pal.” Arnold orders an ale and successfully sneaks upstairs while the barkeep is pouring the glass. He walks up to the door in which he previously engaged the prostitutes and it is locked, but there is moaning coming from inside the room.

The door is locked, but Arnold has been robbed of his thieving tools. Arnold tries to sneak outside on the balcony to parkour to the roof. He successfully sneaks by a maid to the balcony but fails the jump check to the roof and just jumps out the window to the ground like an idiot. He looks for a child to cushion the fall but they all avoid him. He is immediately knocked out when he hits the ground. He spends the rest of the day lying in a ditch wearing nothing but ill-fitting (and now bloody) pants.

Basil goes to a shady dealer to find some undead flesh he needs for a spell component. In exchange, the rumored necromancer demands “some hair and some of your seed” with his halitosis breath through a hole in the door. After the two come to an agreement, the hunchback lets Basil in to give him some undead bones.

The hunchbacked necromancer is steadily creepy during the entire transaction. Basil gives him parts of his hair, with promise of his seed later. “It’s not human” the hunchback winks unreliably as he hands bones to Basil. “We gots mores where thats come from if you want. I can use more seeds.” He proudly shows Basil the wall of blood, hair and semen. Basil is justifiably horrified. He hands off some of his hair and quickly exfiltrates the place.

Around this time, I am freeloading some free cotton off of Lorraine and getting free leather scraps from the tanner as components for my newly researched spells. That’s right - not all spells require gross materials to do things. But the best ones do.

Reyard is now switching disguises daily to keep it interesting and to hide from the law. He beats Bruin at arm wrestling, making the other bitter. Bruin is not succeeding at life.

Arnold wakes up hours later that night. His pants are missing now. He finds them three feet away, riffled through. “Thank god my pants are here!” He makes the long walk of shame back to the Lucky Ladder. It takes several more hours.

We are all having dinner. “Where’s Arnold?” Basil is shitfaced drunk, stressed out from being molested by the hunchbacked necromancer demanding his hair and seed. He is hatching a plan to trick Arnold into giving up semen to the necromancer in his stead.

Arnold slams the door open at his entrance, much like Kramer from Seinfeld. We all watch the pissed off halfling shamble inside the inn. “You all need to help me get revenge at this tavern tomorrow. They stole my money!” We collectively ignore him.

Basil tells Arnold: “I have a proposition for you Arnold. It’s a bit… unconventional. I need your seed. I’ll give you a gold.” Everyone looks up from their meals and various activities to go “whaaaaaa????” Lorraine is outraged at the dinner conversation topic. Arnold agrees immediately: “I would have done this for free.” Lorraine drags Maeve away from the room before she can be corrupted further.

We talk about what will happen after he delivers. We will face an army of tiny arnold clone abominations with basil’s hair all screaming “Daddy!”

We continue to watch the dung sweepers for a promised tenday. I practice with the rat summoning flute. As long as the rats are around, they do exactly what I say. I feel like a Ratmancer. Could work on my flute skills though.

The last day of our dungsweeper protection, a carrion eater is being chased by the guard. We join in the fun. Roll initiative.

We protect the dungsweepers and chase after the carrion eater, which downs (but doesnt kill) the two watchmen. We swoop in and kill the carrion eater. One of the Watch later dies from his injuries.

When the rest of the Watch show up, Germund takes point and they seem to like that.

Through my Monster Lore I know the brain of the carrion eater is a great poison. I extract the poison and use Basil’s canteen after he sells it to me for 1g.

-1gp

+carrion eater poison vial

This was all Day 9 of dung sweeper watching.

The next day the dung sweepers are super appreciative for us saving their lives. We successfully finish the task for Chillester Silvermane of the Lord’s Alliance. Time to go see what’s next in this quest chain.

Everyone gains:

+1 honor and +1 fame

Basil gets the extra honor.

Next game: spend time at house of healing

August 10th, 2024 - Don’t Forget About Dray

Tarsac 2 is the current date.We have decided upon our mercenary name: “Wardens of Waterdeep”. We plan to commision badges similar to the one below but with a W instead of a moon being reflected. Also, it will have a ladder instead of stars. We hope we will not be sued for copyright.

Maeve goes to Reynard with some curious questions: “What is seed? What was Arnold talking about? Why did Arnold want Basil’s money for seed?”

“It’s time for the talk about the birds and the bees and the necromancers.” – Andy

What follows up is an uncomfortable conversation for Reynard. He somewhat explains and also somewhat tells her to go ask Basil before finding a reason to leave the room.

I go to the Apothecary Guild and buy potions for Lorhac with my guild discount. 10% off all potions, heck yeah!

I go to the Bent Nail to order a customized spellbook metal container that will be constructed in two tendays.

-25gp for metal spellbook container

Basil buys a jar for Arnold’s semen. Basil is about to talk to Arnold about his “donation” when he notices Maeve cleaning dishes a few feet away. Watching them both like a hawk.

Germund has to argue with the meat salesman, who is trying to swindle us out of some more fees when he arrives. Germund catches him in the act and puts a stop to it. It seems pretty typical guild stuff that I’ve grown accustomed to growing up in the Dock Ward.

Upstairs, Arnold has just finished filling a jar of semen when Lorraine knocks on the door: “There’s actually someone here to meet you.” Lorraine seems surprised.

Desiree arrives and gives Arnold most of his remaining gold back (all 5gp from 77gp, most of which was actually used to buy drugs), apologizes for the whole ordeal, and asks him out on a date. Maeve is watching around the corner like a hawk again.

Reynard, dressed in a disguise, goes to Tali (our local blacksmith at the Bent Nail) for some throwing knives. Despite the disguise, Reynard is readily recognized much to his chagrin. But he gets a neighborly discount which is nice.

We talk about Dopplebangers: they are Dopplegangers with game and the “rizz”.

My brother Hirvel arrives. He and I have a fight as he takes over the Lucky Ladder’s library against my will. He drags Germund in with him. Germud gets told down hard by Hirvel, and for good reason. Apparently Germund hasn’t been doing his job, looking for cases like he is supposed to as a Junior Detective. He gets assigned the doppelganger case by Hirvel. They talk about Reynard and how Germund is openly being around a suspicious character.

As Hirvel is leaving, Desiree lets it be known that she wants to move into the Lucky Ladder, to which Arnold agrees.

Germund, seeing Hirvel gone, runs into Renier at the entrance. Renier offers to pay for a round of drinks and we all gather around.

We reminisce about old times. As we do, he throws a large leather bag onto the bar. It’s the harpers, offering support.

+600 gp in the bag (100gp/each)

He’s been sent by the Harpers. We have a secret meeting as we close the curtains. We talk about the dungsweepers and what we encountered. He implies that Gilester Silvermane is one of the Harpers. He asks us about the talking dray and we agree to try later today to find it in the North Ward. It’s not like we forgot about it, but we’ve had so damn much going on.

He also hands us another mission: a young bronze dragon has taken place in Waterdeep harbor. We need to confront the dragon and figure out its intentions.

There’s a second missive: Harko Swornhold, an evil adventurer, who was sent out due to bribery charges, was seen recruiting Kenku in Dock Ward for a local gang. Find him and put him down. He has dark hair and eyes. He’s working for the Zhent.

He leaves and the lunch crowd comes in. Basil’s mom comes in with them, and she’s sober. She’s been kicked out of the nunnery after her legal problems. She wants to live here with us, for at least a month. She’s straightlaced now and wants to get clean. In our bar. A poor choice in my opinion.

Basil: “You can stay in my room for 2 tenday. But you will not be allowed in the tavern.” He wants her to get clean. She lays on the mom guilt hard: “I haven’t seen you in a month.” She lightly blames him for not paying for her bail money. Basil tells her he was trying to get the money but couldn’t. And so on. Basil assigns Miri as the Lucky Ladder’s chamber maid. She cleans our poop.

+60gp for the group selling its most expensive wine to Renier and then drinking it (10gp/each)

Reynard and his mom get into an argument over Miri staying at our place. She demands that she stay upstairs and not steal liquor or she will quit. Lorraine really really hates Miri. Germund gets into a fight with Marian over the issue as well. Marian questions Germund’s ability to protect the family and just his general ability as a man.

Now drunk over the stress, Basil gives Mirium the bad news that she has to clean the whole tavern and never go downstairs. Miri takes it hard. She wields guilt on Basil like a sledgehammer.

Brett is now maniacally grinning and making pot-stirring motions as we all heatedly argue in-character.

Arnold drops off Basil’s seed to the necromancer. He convinces the necromancer that Basil was shy. The Necromancer hunchback believes him, but refuses to give back the 1gp.

Third camera view: as he closes the door, the necromancer takes a sip of the semen jar and smacks his lips. Eww.

Back in the bar, Desiree walks down and Reynard recognizes her from some indeterminate previous time whoring around. They both say “What are you doing here?” “I live here” at the same time like a bunch of twins. Reynard is a little upset that Desiree is shacking up with Arnold for free. Some threats are made. Business as usual. Lorraine comes by and she really takes a shine to Desiree. Reynard is surprised at Lorraine’s charity to the prostitute. Lorraine chastises Reynard for looking down on prostitutes.

We find out that Yagra has been bullying Bruin and the latter is now watching the back door. Lol.

Done seething over my argument with Hirvel, I go downstairs. Pritra sends me a magic pouch and a spell scroll via a magic mouth incarnation. She’s the gift that keeps on giving.

+bottomless pouch? Have to investigate (takes a day)

+scroll of some kind? Takes a day

She wants 75gp later? Maybe? The flying magical mouth was vague and quickly disappeared. I didn’t catch it.

Two tenday pass. It is Tarsac 22.

Germund is looking through cold cases, specifically kidnappings in Skullport. He had to have the term “cold case” explained to him by Hirvel. Germund initially thought they were case files kept in the basement, hence colder than the rest.

I use the Arcane Lock scroll on my new spellbook metal casing. It can now only be opened by me or by stronger magic. The scroll disappears.

I hear Lorraine downstairs after passing an observation check: “You look a lot like my son!” she is gushing to a guest. The fucking dopplebanger is here, in our tavern!

What follows is a chase with the dopplebanger. Reynard and I take chase, but neither of us are the most athletic of the group. Reynard and I are able to damage him with a dagger and magic missile respectively, but it gets away.

Lorraine has a heart to heart about the dopplebanger with Reynard. Reynard learns that the doppleganger was asking about Lorhac. Wtf??

Marian and Germund have a couple fight in bed over Mirium. “She laid you out with one punch, Germund.” He’s not even married yet, but you can see the pecking order very firmly in place as he attempts to placate her.

Arnold and his lady are upstairs doing drugs (he’s now addicted), having a great time.

Night falls. We are about to go out to check the stables in the North Ward to find the talking Dray.  

We head to the North Ward to check the two Dray stables. Arnold is exhausted from his fun time with Desiree and all the opium in his blood.

We go to the first dray stables and climb over the wall. We don’t find any talking horses.

“Must be nice being one of these horses. Stable employment.” - Grant

We head to the second stables. I use my Wand of Unlock to unlock the gate, which has a heavy padlock.

Lorahc and Arnold find the horse that talks. Reynard takes point talking to it. It’s name is Maxine.

The horse Maxine talks (after being fed sugar cubes and apples) about the Zhent agent: it’s Yagra. She was also seen near the doppleganger. This is the second thing that linked the doppleganger with the Zhentarum.

We get back to the gate and there are two Watch looking around. Germund distracts them with a stone throw in the opposite direction and we run out.

We go to Reynard’s family’s house before heading back, since they were escorted by Yagra earlier that night. Reynard opens the door with a key and I light a torch. I am immediately attacked by Lorrain with a pan and it gives me a concussion.  

(Joram gets a concussion)

-6 from being brained on the head

Reynard’s family is fine, so we walk back to the Ladder. We see a dark hulking figure at the entrance. There’s a dark orange glow of a pipe from the figure.

It looks like the person at our door is Vincent Trench. He gives us bad news. Frewn has strong connections. Especially with the Zhents. He’s hard to touch and information about him is surprisingly hard to find. Frewn is never actually at the tavern. Trench has good news though: T tonight, Frewn is having a meeting with a bunch of important figures in the Zhentarum.

We bring up Yagra Stonefist. Vincent Trench confirms that she is known to work with the Zhents locally in town. SHe is the main bodyguard of Davil Starsong, a mover and shaker.

We talk about maybe listening in on the Frewn and his cabal. We decide to send Lorhac (without armor) and Arnold as the Stealth Team to listen in while the rest of us wait in a nearby alley.

After parkouring to the roof, Lorahc and Arnold see a few candles lit in the upstairs window. Arnold overhear a conversation inside: “Yeah, they are gonna show up with the goods.” The voices talk about the Lucky Ladder. A man named Rorry has an idea: break our windows and burn it down. But it is shut down for being too obvious.

Arnold is the only one able to overhear their conversation. He is repeating what the voices inside are saying very loudly to Lorhac. So loud, in fact, that they hear him inside. They roll some tense Sneak checks and stay hidden.

We pass a few more hide checks as he looks into the alley in which the rest of us are staying.

Bck to the conversation, we hear (but don’t see) Frewn: “Tomorrow night at 3am, go down to 321 Ceradine Lane, set it on fire. Murder any members of the fire brigade that show up.” It’s Reynard’s family’s house.

Everybody gets +2 honor and +1 fame.

Arnold gets +2 honor for being popular.

August 24th, 2024 - Murder at the Lucky Ladder’s Doorstep

Important plot notes:

• Chillester Silvermane is also likely a Harper agent, that also has connections with the Lord's Alliance. Something to remember if we need to contact either. Renier worked as his agent (though we haven't actually confirmed that, now that I think of it).
• A young bronze dragon has taken place in Waterdeep harbor. We need to confront the dragon and figure out its intentions. (Harpers quest)
• Harko Swornhold, an evil adventurer, who was sent out due to bribery charges, was seen recruiting Kenku in Dock Ward for a local gang. Find him and put him down. He has dark hair and eyes. He’s working for the Zhents. (Harper's Quest)
• The doppleganger was asking about Lorhac in our bar. There are also many signs that it seems to be working for the Zhentarum as well. The Harpers, Grey Hands, and now finally the Watch have all asked our group to find it.
• Yagra is an agent for the Zhentarum according the Maxine the talking horse. Vincent Trench confirms she works as a bodyguard for one of its mid-bosses at times. She could be a die-hard agent or she could just be a mercenary doing mercenary things.
• Frewn also works with the Zhents. We overheard him moments ago in-game plotting to set fire to Reynard's family so that they can't work for the Lucky Ladder. Why is Frewn so obssessed about our shitty bar? There has to be more to this. It was also mentioned that there were ghost noises in our bar. Maybe we have secret tunnels or something, we need to inspect our building more closely. And stop Reynard's family from dying too.

Personal Todo:

Figure out what magical pouch and spell are (will take 2 days and 2 arcane checks)

Scroll will take another 18 hours.

It is just past midnight on Tarsac 23.

Yagra sorta bullies Bruin a bit before heading to her post at the door. Everybody laughs.

Maeve slides up to Germund: “I know what seed is now.” She explains how Basil paid Arnold for seed. “It’s pee, ain’t it? I heard Arnold making grunting noises…” Germund: “By the gods.” Maeve wants to be like Germund, and join the watch. Germund encourages her and says to stay away from Arnold.

Germund goes downstairs and tells Lorraine to take her whole family away for the night. He tells her that Frewn and the Zhents are going to burn her house down. Lorraine panics and goes off to grab some of her important things from her house.

Germund tells Lorhac the details and mentions “there’s also some sort of Seed thing going on with Arnold and Basil.” Lorraine calls for help downstairs as the place gets packed. Germund decides to skip Watch work when he gets slammed by the people in the bar. Lorraine and Bruin ditch the Lucky Ladder to go save their stuff from the house.

Meanwhile Arnold is making beavis and butthead noises with a giggling Disiree in his room.

Lorhac shows Maeve his axe. She swings it a bit. We all ponder at our good influence as Maeve goes off to do laundry.

It’s been an hour and Lorraine hasn’t come back with Bruin. Germund, concerned, gets the crew back together to track her down. We assemble in the Library.

We all castigate Germund for telling Lorraine about the operation. “This is called being pussy whipped, Germund!” Says Reynard. Germund: “There were no cats involved.”

Thunder peals outside. We hear crashing noises. Wtf. It’s only 9am btw. I recognize that as a sound from a fireball spell. That was magic, and it was right in front of our store.

I go to the crows nest that is connected to my room. I see a bunch of dead people in front of our establishment.

The rest of the crew goes downstairs. Maeve trying to help an injured Marian, who has something through her leg. There was some sort of explosion right next to our door. Germund does First Aid.

All of the peddlers that usually hang out in front of our bar are now dead from Fireball damage.

Marian, when asked, can’t explain how it happened. There’s 11 bodies on the street, scorched corpses.

I go downstairs and look at the crime scene. The fireball seemed to be centered on the dead gnome. Two of the bodies are armed and in leather. One of the dead men has the dark Zhent tattoo. The dead gnome has dried feces on his boots suggesting that he has been in the stables recently, or the sewers. He has a pouch full of what appears to be stones, could be gems.

A bystander says that the gnome was injured while quickly heading toward the bent nail. I grab the bag of “stones”.

A woman of high regal bearing stands forward. “I tell you it was not a man. It was a puppet that was on string. It burned those people alive!” She swoons in noble fashion. Reynard questions her a bit. “Where did this creature go?” “Beyond the roofline.”

“I saw the whole thing” says a small halfling, stepping forward. He saw the fireball being cast and then a necklace cast aside, which he gives to Reynard. Reynard pats him somewhat condescendingly: “Good lad.” Just because he is a halfling does not mean that it is a child, Reynard.

The halfling continues: “The man looked funny. Like the constructs from the temple of Gond. Like the steam engine they exhibited this last winter!”

Two more Watch show up. Seth Crowley and Magister Barnabus Blastman. I recognize the latter as a Black Robe from the Tower of Magisters and Germund knows Seth.

They want to take Germund’s statement.

I go over to Barnabus and show him the necklace, which is a Necklace of Fireballs. He takes it for evidence.

Reynard tries to creep away (with the bag of gems). He tells the Watch that he’s worried about his relatives but they make him stay.  Damnit, what has happened to Lorraine and Bruin.

“Looks like the gnome was one of three people being pursued.” I overhear from the investigators. They kick me away before I can easedrop further (“You’re part of the guild, but not a black robe, go away”). Reynard sends Yagra to go do a wellness check on Lorrain and Bruin, who have still not come back.

I take the lead detective’s card. They tell me to not leave town.

Basil goes upstairs to heal the still-hurt Marian because “Lorraine will chew me out otherwise.” He offers to heal her. She is extremely uneasy at first. But she is astonished as he actually heals her. I guess she thought he was full of shit the whole time about being a cleric. He asks her to maybe put a good word in for Miri with Lorraine.

We find Maeve, who was hiding in the cellar. She says Miri is in there with her, and we all briefly fear she got drunk but it appears that she just wanted to get away from the chamberpots for a while. She sounds really sad.

Yagra comes in a while later: “Found your mom and bruin. They are here with a wagon.” They carried everything from their old house.

Reynard appraises 5 gem stones 100+gp each

+500gp worth of gemstones

Marian wants Germund to stay instead of finally going to work. But he goes anyway, since he will be fired if he doesn’t.

Reynard is stressing out due to Lorraine freaking out and just being attacked all the time, and the doppelgänger hunting us. “This conflict is a sign that we’re moving on up,” he comforts her.

Basil is encouraging Germund to wife up Marian quickly before she realizes the truth. Seeing everyone hurt, Basil goes looking for Lorraine and says “thank you so much for working so hard for us.” He gives her family a bonus. He gives her 25gp. Or tries to, but she doesn’t accept. They are moving into Reyanrd’s quarters and want Basil to explain to Yagra that she will have to leave for a few days. “So it’s okay that Miriam will stay here for a few more ten day. Thanksbye!” He goes to find a crying Miriam in the cellar, which everyone has forgotten for a goodly amount of time.

Miri is crying in the dark. Basil smells her breath, but it’s not boozy. “How rude! I haven’t had a drop since I’ve been here!” She is offended. It opens the floodgates of guilt. She runs off. Basil ensures that nothing is missing in our wine stock.

I go off to the Order of the Magisters to study the scroll and the magical bag, since there’s so much drama happening at the bar. I identify the scroll and the bag of holding. The scroll is a scroll of Bar Portal and I learn it. I also try to buy the alarm spell.

• Bar Portal spell

I also get Birds Eye View as a spell for 100gp

-100gp

-2sp2cp x 2 for the Bar Portal spell transcription

-2sp1sp x 2 for Birds Eye View

I roll a successful cognition check for the Birds Eye View spell. I now know two more spells.

Basil tells Yagra that we are going to ambush some people trying to set fire to Lorrain’s house later that night. What he fails to mention is that the people setting the fire are her fellow Zhentarum. So this will be interesting.

Yagra is off to rent some mercenaries on Basil’s coin for our ambush tonight. Reynard’s family scoffs at Miriam, who is now allowed downstairs.

Germund finally goes to work around early afternoon. He gets dressed down by Hirvel. He explains that his fiancé was almost killed that morning. It’s a damn good excuse. The commander accepts his excuse. “Your friends and you are on the investigation list.” He gives the bad news to Germund: he is suspended. “It’s nothing Goodacre. It’s just the rules.” He tells him to stay out of the investigation. He tells Hirvel that Reynard’s family will be attacked the next morning and he agrees to send a squad.

The same day that Maeve says she wants to be a Watchman like Germund is the same day he is put on suspension for being a suspected criminal. Lol.

Meanwhile, Reynard and Lorhac go to the Bent Nail, because one of the three guys being attacked by the Fireball ducked behind the Bent Nail to escape. Embric, the Fire Genosi, is found in the forge. Lorhac buys a warhammer.

Reynard does an investigation of the alley. Lorhac joins him and they try to track boot tracks in the muck, but they lose the trail (they rolled bad). They remember that the gnome had muck on his boots, making it look like he came from the sewers and/or stables. They continue through the alleyway.

Reynard and Lorhac continue down the alley. After losing the trail, Reynard decides to ask the locals.

Reynard goes into a nearby Barber, which has an amazing Italian-esque accent. It’s hilarious. Good job Brett. “There sure was someone running by! They smell terrible!” It sounds like the runner came from the sewers. “Guy wearing black boots, black cloak with hood up, not a good look at his face. He went around Sword Lane and went South.” Reynard pays 30sp for a haircut. Enzo is the name of the barber. He also offers to sew up people if we need it. We probably will at some point.

“You next?” He says to Lorhac. Lorhac gets a haircut as well. It looks beautiful.

They move onto another business to the South, looking for more clues. They enter an apothecary. The owner claims that she didn’t see anything. But Zelda (her name) mentions that victims of an investigation are allowed to go to the central watch station and request all the case information. She buys some stuff from the store and heads off.

It’s about 6pm, everyone is getting back together at the Ladder. Yagra shows up with 3 mercenaries, which are clearly Zhentarum. They were hired to watch Reynard’s mothers house. There are 6 over at Reynard’s house as well, and they are in conflict with the Watch.

Reiner also shows up. “I’ve put in some investigative work myself,” looking at Germund sadly. Germund is forced to admit that he was forced to leave the watch for the time.

He wants a quiet place to adjourn, I offer the library.

Reiner: “I put in some good word and good gold in the morgue’s office. Some of the Clerics spoke with the dead.”

Basil: “ I can also speak to spirits. Huehuehue.”

The dead gnome was the POI of the investigation, named Dalacar. He stole the Stone of Galore from a dungeon deep below the city. Dalacar also worked for the Open Lord of Waterdeep. The Stone of Dalor is the key to a dragon hoard. He was planning to deliver the Stone to us, the Wardens of Waterdeep. But someone else made off with the stone of dalor.

The Zhents names were Shents and Valcaf, who work for Erstel Foxten at the Gravend Villa. The artifact is important to many people. ”The artifact would make the possessor rich as kings. When the lords of waterdeep ousted Renier’s father, he thought his shadow was gone for good. He wants nothing to do with him, but Dalacar was one of his old men. One of the few he trusted. I think he knew you all were connected to me.”

He recommends we go to the Gravend Manor. He compliments Reiner and Lorhac on their new haircuts.

Reynard has noticed a large Zheng tattoo on Yagra’s back. Not a good sign.

We have about 6-9 hours until Lorrain’s house is going to be burnt down by the Zhentarum. Basil has hired Zhentarum mercenaries to fight back at them. It will be an interesting night. d

Everyone gets +3 honor

Andy and Sam get +2 honor and +3 fame

Rolled for stats for cowboy rpg:

STR 14.29

INT 3.45

WIS 13.63

DEX 11.23

CON 10.12

LOOKS 10.86

CHR 9.91

September 7th, 2024 - A Failed Ambush and a Successful Infiltration

Main takeaways:

- Some sort of automaton (Probably owned by the Xanathars) used a Necklace of Fireballs to murder 3 people in front of our bar, one of whom appear to have escaped. The gnome had dung on his feet, like someone mucking around in the sewers. Another dead victim had a Zhent tattoo, whose name we find out later is named either Shents or Valacaf. The escapee Zhent disappeared South of Sword Lane according to witnesses. But we lost the trail.

- We find out the dead gnome stole the Stone of Dalore from a dungeon underneath the city. It is the key to a dragon hoard. The Xanathars, Zhentarum, and now the City Watch and Harpers are all after it. It will make those who find it "rich as kings".

- The dead gnome, named Dalacar, worked for a man named Erstel Foxten at the Gravend Villa. He used to work for the ousted Open Lord of Waterdeep and Renier's father. Renier recommends we go the the Villa.

- We are allowed as citizens under investigation to learn about the fireball murder case from the Watch from the central Watch station. I wonder if Germund is aware of this. Zelda the Apothacary told us this.

- In 9 hours, Lorrain's house will be set on fire by the Zhentarum at our Tavern rival Frewn behest. Basil has hired Zhentarum mercenaries to protect the house. So that will be interesting. The Watch is also going to be involved.

- A young bronze dragon has taken place in Waterdeep harbor. We need to confront the dragon and figure out its intentions. (Harpers quest)

- Harko Swornhold, an evil adventurer, who was sent out due to bribery charges, was seen recruiting Kenku in Dock Ward for a local gang. Find him and put him down. He has dark hair and eyes. He’s working for the Zhents. (Harper's Quest)

- The doppleganger was asking about Lorhac in our bar. There are also many signs that it seems to be working for the Zhentarum as well. The Harpers, Grey Hands, and now finally the Watch have all asked our group to find it.

- Yagra is a confirmed Zhentarum agent. She has the tattoos and everything.

We are all at the Ladder, the place is closed up.

We are going to leave Arnold in charge as we all head up to watch Lorrain’s house. I bring the Ladder itself, trying to get us back to our roots. The fellas help me carry it. It smells bad.

We run into a black kitty on the way (random encounter roll). Brett role plays a kitten very well. The kitty falls in love with Reynard. We have adopted it as one of our own in a few brief moments of contact. When asked if it is magical in nature, I say “It is magical in how cute it is.”

We arrive at the Lorrain’s house. There are two katana-weilding warriors in front. Yagra confronts Reynard about the whole Zhent vs. Zhent situation. Yagra basically says she has to move out since it has become a conflict of interest. Reynard takes it too well and she gets mad.

I set up my Ladder and scale a house and scout the area with Reynard’s spyglass. Downstairs, the Zhent say we basically can take off since Frewn’s Zhent wont come now. Yagra starts playing Five Finger Fillet and tries to get Germund to join very aggressively. The Watch and the Zhent mercs that Basil have hired (including Yagra) are very obviously guarding the house. I don’t think this ambush plan will work now, guys.

We keep waiting. 4 hours go by. Nothing happens. Eventually, we hear the noise coming from a carriage, which is odd for this hour. Everyone hides.

The Zhents guarding Lorrains house come out front. I’m frustrated at this, since they blow our cover. But I’m across the street and alone so I keep it to myself. The carriage, which has circled a few times already, looks suspicious. Inside the house, they determine to ambush it next time it comes by. “It’s kind of cold out Germund. Maybe this is one of those cold cases,” Basil says. Germund nods seriously.

An hour goes by. No sign of the carriage. We hear the clatter of many shoes on the cobblestones. A well-cloaked figure with a pirate hat appears. It is Reiner. He says the Stone of Galore has been moved. He wants us to go to Gralend Manor in Castle Ward. Garland is the name of the family that owned the warehouse where we fought those Kenku.

We decide to go to Gralend manor, ditching our attempt to catch Frewn’s men in the act. It’s kinda pointless now anyway, since the Zhent mercs have blown our cover.

We go to the Wild Stope Tavern while we wait for a carriage, ordered by Reiner. We all eat for free while we wait on Renier’s dime.

Within 15 minutes a carriage arrives. We go after we eat. I grab a free bottle of 25gp wine after a tiny sip.

Reiner gives the low-down with the Gralend family. They have dealings with pirates and have their fingers in everything, like a powerful noble family does. They have many personal guards. But there was some sort of turmoil this evening, so it is a good time to sneak inside. He doesn’t elaborate on the turmoil, or to be more specific, nobody thinks to ask.

Reiner has a magical item that tracks the Stone of Dalore. A tuning fork of some kind.

I cast Inaudibility on everyone as we are about to enter the mansion (except Renier). Everybody gets better at sneaking for an hour.

The black cat lingers outside in the carriage. Yes, it is still with us.

Renier warns us that the guard dogs might catch our scent. I pull a bunch of fermented fish out of my magic bag and tell them I will throw them as bait.

We all put on black cloaks with hoods. We have uniforms now.

+1 free black cloak for everyone

Renier, leading us, seems to be an expert at infiltration.

Everyone manages to get over the fence. Reynard almost loses his nuts on the sharp top, but manages to pull through. We forgot the ladder at the carriage the one time it would have helped. Damnit.

We are in a rolling grassland inside the mansion area. It’s a huge front yard. 10 acres, easy.

We hear a man talking to the guard dogs. I have taken out a bunch of my salted fish and threw it away from us. The guard dogs initially start to approach our group but are distracted by the fish. “This is the most disgusting smell I have ever smelt,” the guard says. I am quietly offended as the guard tries to throw the fish away.

We see a tree near a balcony nearby and decide that it is a good entrance. We make a run for it while the guard/guard dog are distracted. We hear training sword fighting from somewhere in the mansion. Reiner jumps into the tree and then onto the balcony in a nice display of acrobatics. We throw the rope up to him.

We hear shouts coming from inside. What we thought was training sounds like real fighting. Guess this is that “turmoil”.

We enter a glass door. There is a woman who doesn’t appear to hear us. She is with a mean looking male orc. We hide and listen in. They talk about something hidden in the attic. The woman gives the male orc a key and orders him to the attic. We briefly whisper that we need to follow that orc. After the orc leaves, she finds her door open and heads towards us. Germund tackles her from the back. Reiner gags her. Germund Uses Rope to tie her up. Jokes are made that Germund goes this for duty and pleasure.

Reiner uses the tuning fork, and is confused at the response. I urge everyone to hurry up to the attic, as my spell has gone for 20 minutes already. We follow the orc. Lorhac tries to unlock the door but fails (has he succeeded even once?). I use my wand of Unlock and it opens.

• wand charge

The room appears empty. But I Scrutinize the room and find a secret passage. We start searching for traps along the way since the place is suspicious now. We go to the next room and sounds of fighting intensify. We decide to head into the room. We prepare for combat.

Inside, we find two groups fighting. Half of them appear to be wearing the livery of the mansion guards. The other group appear to be Zhentarum mercenaries. We see stairs on the other side of the room and decide we that we should try to make a run for it, avoiding battle.

We try to sneak by the battle in the next room but Lorhac is too damn slow and ends up surrounded by all of the Mansion’s guards, who scream “Black cloaks! More Zhentarum!”. We end up having to fight anyway.

We defeat most of the mansion’s guards (one gets away). We all learn that Lorhac can really take a beating.

We quickly move to the attic. We find two flaming braziers in the center of the room. I search the room and find a curtain, and behind it is a mirror.

We see a coalescing blue smoke glass mirror. I determine that this is a magic portal. At this point, the magical tuning fork in my hand is silent. But if the Stone of Dalore went through this portal, that would make sense.

We all go through the portal. Renier is super reluctant.

We find ourselves in a cave. A massive cave. We hear arguing at the end of the alley in this dark area. The portal has disappeared behind us.

The tuning fork is going crazy. We definitely came to the right place. We suspect we are in Skullport, or the Underdark. Probably Skullport though.

We have 40 minutes left on our Inaudibility. Time to track down our stone.

+3 honor to everybody

+1 to Joram and Lorhac

September 21st, 2024 - We Escape Skullport But Are Registered As Sex Offenders

We start out in Skullport. Brett reads some wiki dump of the area. Basically, the Lords know of it, but let it be, considering the chaotic alternative.

We go in a random direction hoping the magical tuning fork will set off an indicator of the Stone of Dalore. It opens up into a large open chamber. The tuning fork just sorta stays the same. I ask Reiner if he can help and he offers to try tracking. He says we should double back. “We would have seen him.” We double back hoping to find the male orc with the Stone.

We encounter a large underground square. We find 4 orcs carrying a palanquin past us, going right. A long tentacled face of an illithid is seen inside. The tuning fork is kinda going off, but its not at least going fainter. I ask anybody nearby if they’ve seen the orc after giving the description, but nobody has seen him. A Svirtneblin pulls a dagger when I try to ask. Reiner mentions that the orc might be trying to run to the port itself and the tuning fork seems to agree. We follow the tremors of the fork.

As we walk down the street, it’s pretty rough. Open blowbjobs from whores, people being knifed for fish parts, etc. It’s really bad. We make it to the docks.

I ask a random human dock worker. I ask him a few questions. There was a schooner that recently left 5 minutes ago. Germund pays him 3 silver to bribe him.

A random dwarf lady walks up and offers to suck our dick for either silver or black lotus. Arnold looks interested, but I coral him to a galley. We need to commission a ship to Waterdeep. Arnold takes point and after 3gp we convince some random captain to meet with us.

-1gp from everyone to talk to captain

A coterie of pirates show up. Arnold convinces (or tries to) get passage.

The pirate captain charges 30gp. After we haggle the best we can, we accept the price.

-10gp (I tried to get Germund to pay but he wouldn’t)

We hear the cracks of whips as the pirate ship takes us to Waterdeep port. The crew and I keep to ourselves.

We sail into a cliff face, which turns out to be an illusion. The ship and its surroundings are limned in a purplish light from a teleport spell on a massive scale (I rolled arcane lore). We are cast out into sunlight a mile away from the port of Waterdeep.

The captain thanks us for our gold. Arnold thanks him for helping him reach his true love. He had concocted some random story about a true love as the reason we need to get into town as quick as we did. Arnold claims to be in love with the male orc we are chasing. The captain looks disgusted. Arnold gets +1 fame. The pirates take us in a dingy to shore.

The Fork seems to be indicating further North as I approach the harbor. Towards the seedy areas of Waterdeep. We have our rowers take us there. I use the tuning fork to find our direction.

We lock eyes with an orc in the distance. The orc who has the stone of Dalore. He jumps into a sewer grate. We rush towards the grate. We all head down into the sewers.

Germund takes point with a torch. I follow with another torch. Reiner takes the lead. He starts to track the orc. It’s gross in the sewers. Renier does good on tracking roll. We follow.

We lose the tracks. We all roll terribly for Tracking. The tuning fork lightly trembles towards the left passageway and Sting glows to the left. So we go left.

We find a ladder that leads to a manhole. The tuning fork remains the same. Which is good. Renier takes point. Sting is glowing hard.

Lorhac works with Reiner to move the manhole. We find ourselves in an alleyway. Booted feet running away are heard. Maybe we are in Trade Ward. We rush out of the alley. Reiner: “Just a moment. His sword is glowing bright blue” referring to Arnold. Orcs ambush us from behind! Roll initiative.

Lorhac one shots the orc. We find 50 silver on it, but no Stone of Dalore.

+50s

Two members of the city watch walk by the Alley just as we are looting the body. “What are you guys doing?” They take out their weapons. I go full Karen. I demand to see their superior. “I’m being attacked in an alley here and I’m being caged as the perpetrator?! I’m the victim! I’m Hirvel’s brother!” The guards murmur uncomfortably. The Karen act continues.

I try to lie my way out of the situation. But since I am a terrible liar nobody believes me. When the Watch captain asks Arnold: “What about you, little boy?” Arnold says, “ I don't know these men. They kidnapped me and threatened to diddle me!” He succeeds on a skilled liar and the Watch captain is now convinced that Lorhac and I are now child molestors kidnapping children. ”I want a Juicy Juice box!” Arnold says when they ask if he’s okay. Goddamnit.

Lorhac is interrogated as well. He mentions that Germund Goodacre was involved. It gets Germund in trouble as well, which wasn’t exactly his goal. Lorhac is unbelievable. They pull out Lorhac’s burglary tools and he says he’s a skilled carpenter and they were his tools; they don’t fully believe him.

Meanwhile, Arnold has a warm cup of juice. A Watch says “Don’t worry, they won’t hurt you any more.” “Thanks…dad?”

The Black Cloaks show up. Third person camera shows them talking to the Watch. They are convinced now that we are the edges of a sex ring of some kind. Oh god.

The Black Robe walks by us to investigate the crime scene. He mentions “Why do you have that halfling man there?” He asks the Watch. Which makes it very awkward for the Watch, as up until that very moment, they were convinced that Arnold was a child. Awkward.

“I need to go number 2!” Arnold claims urgently, seeing the Black Robe heading his direction. “It’s turtling!” The Watch take Arnold down the alley that we just came from. “You poor child. You can live with me now. Do you want to be my son?” The Watch is super nice. While pretending to poo, Arnold sneaks away down back into the sewer via a nearby grate. LOL. ”Arnold? Arnold?! You bad boy!”

I tell the Black Robe that we were trying to catch the tail of the Zhentarum crime ring when the Watch caught us in the act. I recommend that he Speak with the Dead on the dead orc to confirm my facts. Lorhac spins a vague tale as well. He rolls a high Skilled Liar and evades the investigators from delving too much deeper. But then it brings up an weird subject: “What do you say to these sex ring allegations?” We are both flabbergasted.

Meanwhile, the Watch that was looking over Arnold is in tears. “He’s long gone!” They want to get a wanted poster out for him. The most ugly halfling in town. He sends Lorhac and I freed, under the watch of four Watchman. The one in charge is named Perkins. It takes an hour and a half to walk back to the Lucky Ladder, with 4 Watch with us for house arrest.

Along the way, we glean a few bits of information among the Watch: Germund has been taken off the force. There was also a sting operation on Frewn’s brews. It’s now out of business. Good news for us!

There are two burley guards at the front of the Lucky Ladder. I don’t recognize the guards. Lorraine comes out: “They’re fine! Let them in!” What has happened in the twelve hours in which we were gone. Apparently our Zhent guards have stuck around. I explain to Reynard’s family the situation. Reiner: “Don’t worry, I’ll have our names cleared by dawn”. The guards stick to us like glue overnight.

While we were gone, some of Frewn’s people tried to stop by the Lucky Ladder, but our Zhent mercy’s stopped them. There’s rebuilding being done in front of our place from all the fireballs. We all eat and get a ton of sleep. Lorraine acts like everyone’s mother.

Later that night, we talk quietly. Reiner, in hushed tones, mentions that he found a note on the dead orc. He hands it over and I read it, secretly from the Watch guards. It’s a folded map of Waterdeep’s wards. Specifically, Dock Ward. A tough neighborhood called Misshore. I’ve been there before. I pull out the tuning fork but it’s quiet. At the bottom of the map is a cypher. Nobody can read it. Maeve walks by: “That looks like Orcish. IS THAT A MAP?!” She says very loudly. I try to hush her and she’s like “You’re crazy Joram.” I make sure the Watch didn’t overhear. Damnit Maeve.

Yagra is gone, so we can’t ask her. We need an orcish translation guide.

Meanwhile, Arnold makes his way to the bar through the sewers. He sees the Zhents and the City Watch and tries to Hide to get inside the tavern. He moves like a ghost and gets inside with a roll of 131.

I ask Maeve if she knows any orcish. She mentions that Yagra had been teaching her Orcish. I ask her to translate:

Grenda Garloth - Dock Ward

I know this person, with a crazy good roll of 10 for Current Events.

It is one of the undesirables in the Magisters Guild. She is rumored to have dabbled in the dark arts. Necromancy.

Upstairs, Arnold starts to have the shakes. His opium dependency is starting to kick in. He feels the need. Unfortunately, all of his money was taken by the Watch. His shivers continue as the night grows long.  

Everyone here gets +3 honor.

Arnold gets an additional +1 honor and fame.

Everyone gets +5 fame, including the people not here.

October 5th, 2024 - On the Trail of the Necromancer

Mikaela shows up in a surprise visit. Glad to have you back, Mikaela!

Arnold is curled up like a shrimp. His girlfriend is gone, so he has no opium hookup. He struggles and eventually sneaks out to find drugs. He fails. When he gets back, Desiree is back with enough drugs to make him feel normal. Yes, he needs drugs to feel normal at this point.

Before we go to sleep, Basil heals my head that was still damaged from being brained by Lorraine’s frying pan. I’m quite thankful.

Next day. Every day I now cast Illusory Leather Armor. This means I don’t have to launder my clothes any more, because I’m not wearing anything. My clothes are a mere illusion. Plus I get the thrill of going around town in the nude with nobody the wiser.

We all get up and have a light breakfast under the eyes of the four Watch. Germund is now under investigation as the leader of the sex ring. I guess after being raped so many times, Germand wanted to pay it forward to the children. Arnold sure has done a number on Germund’s reputation.  

Bruin, no longer being bullied by Yagra, is happy to be the bar bouncer again. He smugly takes his spot at the front door back.

Upstairs, Basil throws away his beer mugs full of pee out the window, before heading downstairs to go start drinking and have breakfast. Germund is actually happy to be funimployed because he has more time to dedicate to the Lucky Ladder business and to Marian. He wants to be a business-owner/adventurer now. When Basil shows up, he asks for alms for the Church of Waukeen. “Waukeen can save you…but only if you pay.” Germund donates 3gp. I give a trade coin, the most I have ever donated to something.

Lorhac has already completed the repairs from yesterday’s Fireball. A bad thief, but a great fighter and even better carpenter.

We decide to go to Misshore in Dock Ward to find Grenda Garloth. Let’s track down this damn Stone of Dalore.

I go to the Apothecary across the street and buy a health potion before we leave. Corellon’s Crown is the name of the place. Falla is the half elf who owns the place. I make sure to get my Apothecary Guild’s discount.

-45gp

+1 health potion

Germund, being the eternal giver, appears to want to give a sword to Arnold, and says “I should run you through with this after what you’ve put me through! But considering where we are going, I suppose you could use this.” Arnold asks Germund to pull some strings to get his magical sword and gold back from the Watch, but Germund just says “No” and walks away.

As we are heading down to the Dock Ward, I stop by at the butchers. I buy a dozen duck heads for the great price of 1s. I will be back when I need more duck heads.

• a dozen bird heads

-1s

Frewn’s brews is shut down and looking derelict. We briefly discuss buying the place for real estate.

Reynard walks over to his house to find the Zhents still guarding it. Yagra is one of them. Basil mentioned it was a contract for a few tendays.

Renier (played by Mikaela) calls over his private carriage. It arrives quite quickly. The black cat is inside. Apparently he shit in the carriage, much to the butler’s misery. The Lucky Ladder is back too. I ask Bruin to take it inside. He says it smells gross and he is correct. Maeve takes Smokey the tuxedo cat inside as well.

We’re all drinking in the carriage, as per Renier’s recommendation. We head to the dock ward. I try to start removing eyes from my fresh duck heads, but the group shuts me down.  

A persistent drizzle hits the city. It’s kinda dreary. The rain has flooded the sewer systems, which is gross.

We arrive at Misshore. Most of the buildings are burnt down due to a fire from last year. We dismiss the carriage, since it looks like it might be robbed in this hood.

I pull out the Tuning Fork but I find nothing. Damn thing has been silent for a while now.

Reynard and I corral up a local urchin to question him for Grenda’s location. She is in the southeastern part of the area. Reynard offers 3s for him to lead us to her location and the desperate little git agrees.

Arnold tries to convince the small child to go to Watchman Higgins, the poor Watchman that wanted to adopt Arnold the previous day. The little orphan boy calls himself Jimmy. Arnold tries to convince Jimmy to con that poor watchmen so that he could steal his magical sword back and give it back to Arnold. Jimmy looks like he might be inclined to agree if it was anybody but Arnold suggesting this idea.  Jimmy begs for us to keep Arnold away from him.

Reynard offers the little boy 7sp to stand watch while we burgle Grenda’s house. He asks for a gold crown, which Renier pays.

We watch some cloaked figures approach the door to Grenda’s house. “Come out, Grenda! We want to talk to you.” Eventually, they leave to go to a side alley. I try to check the Tuning Fork, but it was bent by Arnold before and it doesn’t appear to work anymore. An Arcane Lore check seems to indicate that it still works, but I’m starting to wonder if I have misjudged. We try to follow the Zhents around the corner but lose them. We go back to Grenda’s door. Thankfully, Jimmy is still there.

She doesn’t answer the door. I urge Lorhac to try, and he fails again. Arnold gives an attempt and also fails. I use my Wand of Unlocking to unlock the door. I watch in sadness as the wand dissolves, discharged of all of its magic.

I use Sense Magical Aura to make sure that the door is not magically trapped. We are dealing with a necromancer. There is no magic on the door, but I sense magic on the inside of the house. A good sign.

• Wand of Unlocking (it dissolves)

Germund and Basil break down the door, but it has furniture in front of it, blocking our entrance. Reynard tries to find a back door, and finds one. It is thrown open and it looks like the Zhents either went inside or Grenda made a quick escape. Renier says the tracks heading out. Might be a combination of both?

Germund and I head into the back door (a lot of “back door” jokes are made among the group). We find two people dressed like Zhents, but they are blasted by lightning spells (according to my arcane lore check). They are still standing, just charred out remains. I search their bodies:

+7s

+ burnt, wanted sketch “Grenda”; now we know what she looks like

I search the room with a Scrutiny. I see a black rat sitting in the corner. Underneath it, I find a half-drawn map of the City of the Dead. I show Germund and Basil, who are with me, the wanted poster and the map. Basil casually mentions that he knows a necromancer.

We start heading towards the City of the Dead. “Aye now, where do you think you’re going?” Five men appear at the door. They are heavily armed. I quietly hide the map in my magic bag (I rolled 89 to Hide).

We are interrogated by the 5 men. We are uncooperative and they attack us. Roll initiative.

We kill all but one, who is open to interrogation. He is terrified of Arnold, who keeps going around stabbing his friends the moment they are slightly weakened.  

They are Xanathars. They were after Grenda because she has something. Probably the Stone. He doesn’t have not much info. We eventually cut him loose. He says his name is Drake: “I don’t know what’s happenin’, I just can’t stop the rappin’”.

Renier calls a carriage and we head to the City of the Dead. Before we leave, I find a treasure box. Lorhac finds that it is magically trapped. I cast Unlock from a distance, the only way to open it without destroying the contents. I burn a lot of spell power, since I have not memorized that spell today.

+10 gold bars with the City of Waterdeep (20lbs each)

+magical glasses of some kind

+priceless dagger

I put them all in the magical bag for us to divvy up later

We head to the City of the Dead. Renier’s butler gives a message to Lorhac from Lorhac’s kin. They are specially prepared for dwarves, from dwarves. It’s from his older sister. “You are needed immediately at home. There has been a rash of assassination of attempts at home. You are the new Lord of Mithral Hall. You must come back.” He tells us and we are impressed. I try to get him to invest more gold into the bar.  

We arrive at the City of the Dead. Basil takes the lead with a Sense Direction check. He very confidently points the direction, even though he rolled shitty and is completely unreliable. We get horribly lost. It’s about 3-4pm. Through pure luck, we stumble into a mausoleum with “Garloth” on the front after a long while.

I look for a secret entrance and find nothing. Renier does not know anything in particular about the Garloth family. There is an actual, public entrance that we decide to go through. Entering without permission is against the Law. But Renier has got our backs. Go nobility.

Germund opens the door with a Feat of Strength. I light a torch. We pile inside. It’s dark. Arnold sees a fresh track in the dust. “Cickey! There’s tracks!”

Along the walls are jars of white liquid. It’s semen, probably. There’s even names on the jars. “Friar Basil” is on one of them. It appears to be an alchemy lab. It rings a bell with that creepy necromancer, but only Basil and Arnold have interacted with him.

I see a rat in the distance. I use Animal Empathy to try to befriend the rat. I play my pipes as I offer it some cheese. It loves me. Or so I think. When I convince it to go onto my shoulder, it says to me in Common: “You are being watched by the Xanathars.” WTF.

Meanwhile, Basil notices a body under a table. As he is about to bring it to attention to the rest of us, he notices a Gazer in the darkness right behind him, breathing down his neck. It immediately darts away into the darkness. “Did you guys see that?!” Basil points towards the Gazer, which has zoomed away, no doubt to tell on us to the Xanathar boss. Nobody saw it but him and we don’t know what the hell he’s talking about.  

Germund pulls out the body (“Germund’s got great pull-out game” — Brett). It is a dead Grenda. She is dead from her face being caved in by some sort of bludgeoning object along with spell burns. The rat sadly whispers to me: “That was my master!” This rat is a lot more than I was initially expecting. On the body we find:

+40sp

+Black, twisted staff that says “Nooooo…” as I put it in the bag

My new rat friend rat recommends I use the staff to gain great power. I’m all game for that, but not before I fully study the creepy thing. Also, I hope we get back to the tavern within an hour or my clothes will be unsummoned.

An argument begins over the many jars of semen with Basil's name on the wall. Along with hundreds of others. “Why is there a jar of semen with your name on it in the necromancer’s mausoleum?!”

Mid-argument, we hear footsteps coming towards us. We all hide. It all seems to be going well, until I sneeze. “Jenks, you hear that?!” Metallic booted feet approach our location. Sounds like the Watch is about to discover us grave robbing. We only have a few seconds to figure out what we are going to do, and I have an idea.

Lorhac gets +5BP

Basil gets +10BP

Joram gets +15BP

Continuing the adventure in Discord, the guards boots get closer. “Come out now and there will be no fine!” We all try to pass a Sneak check, but we rattle a lot as a group and it doesn’t work. Before they approach, I cast Aura of Innocence on Germund and urge him to take lead.

Germund calls out, asking if they are with the City Watch. When they reply that they are, he comes out, announcing that we had discovered the den of a Necromancer:

“This is not a tomb behind me, but a necromancer’s warehouse.  There’s enough, erm… seed down there to impregnate every woman in the city.  Stored in named jars.  Someone murdered the necromancer before we could find her and ask what she is up to, but whatever it is, it doesn’t look good.”

The Aura of Innocence spell takes, but the guards don’t seem to be affected. They immediately distrust him.

Meanwhile, Reynard looks for a secret exit for the rest of us, and finds nothing. I quietly ask my new rat familiar its name: “My name is Remy, but Mr. Whiskers is fine too.”

The Watch asks for us to come out and we all do. Before we do, Reynard puts on a blindfold, melding back into his Smellscrime persona. He puts on a show of asking why they weren’t the detectives he called for regarding the necromancer lair we just discovered. It’s all bullshit of course.  “Damn it to all hells, these aren’t detectives! They’re beat cops! We need a *detective*, Joram! I thought you sent one of your ratty little friends to bring us someone who can actually secure the crime scene. Our window of catching the murderer is narrowing by the second!” He tries to bring me into the lie, which is a poor choice.

"Y-yes! I certainly did send some rats to find detectives! I do that at times. Rats never listen well. Darn necromancers. Always doing the... Necromancer thing." My voice cracking and with cold sweat visibly coursing down my face as I try to join in on the lie.

Reynard rolls a 1 on an opposed Skilled Liar check, auto failing hard. They immediately recognize Reynard as the serial rapist/murderer they are seeking and call for the Black Robes. One of the Watch runs off, screaming his head off and blowing his cute little whistle.

Only one Watchman remains to monitor our group. I am currently carrying 20 illicit gold bars on my person along with two magical items, one of them likely cursed. Being caught with this stuff would be a very bad idea. Thinking that this would be a great time to leave, I yell “Scatter!”, hoping to see the gang run off in different directions. But I am the only one who runs.

The Watchman runs after me. He apparently watched Terminator for inspiration, for this guy is unstoppable. I throw a Bar Portal spell his way as we go through the cemetery gate and he leaps the fence. He runs into the alleys to hide, but the guard smells me out like a goddamn bloodhound. I eventually dive into a pile of trash (and burn through a ton of honor), losing the Guard. Those gold bars are mine, damnit!

I head back to the Lucky Ladder. I hide all of the gold bars in my room, under the floorboards (in a different location from my spellbook).

Meanwhile, the rest of the group wait around for the Watch’s reinforcements to arrive and they do, along with a few Black Robes. Renier speaks up, saying that it is all part of his business as a Noble, flashing around his coat of arms. Everyone is heavily questioned. Lorhac pretends he only speaks dwarvish and pulls a Karen act: “Don’t you know who I am?”

October 19th, 2024 - My Rat’s Voice is Surprisingly Deep

My clothes, originally summoned by magic, disappear while hiding in my pile of trash. I head toward the Ladder after making sure that the Watch is gone. Dressed only in my loincloth, I run into a little street urchin on the way back. He threatens to out me if I don’t pay him a copper. I don’t and he starts screaming “There’s a naked pervert here!”. I say “you little shit” and run off, up into my room in the Ladder. I hide all of our gains in the floorboards of my room and take a bath.

Back at the City of the Dead, Renier keeps trying to throw around his noble weight with the Watch. The Watch to the group: “What lead you to tracking the semen here?”

Germund explains that we discovered the Garloth tomb while tracking down the necromancer Grenda Garloth. “Necromancy is not strictly illegal, sir.” Everyone tacitly agrees to not mention the Stone of Dalore. The Watch continue to interrogate the group heavily. Things get a bit heated between them. Jail is being threatened.

Meanwhile, back in my room, I start a conversation with Mr. Whiskers. He has the voice of James Earl Jones. I learn that Grenda left a key behind, hidden in front of the mausoleum under a stone. We bond over cheese.

The Watch finally let the rest of the group. They arrive back in about an hour. I’m talking with Maeve downstairs, with fresh clothes. I’m trying to introduce her to Mr. Whiskers but she freaks out and tries to hit him. I end up running around the room, slapstick-style, trying to avoid her by putting chairs in the way. Germund, distracting Maeve with the true story of the Rat King, calms her down. It turns out that Maeve was lonely and just wanted attention. I keep talking to Mr. Whiskers and they call me weird. They’re the weird ones.

Arnold tries to start borrowing money from the group. He attempts to sell the sword that Germund gave him back to Germund, but it doesn’t work. He eventually convinces Basil to give him 1gp. “I’m gonna go to my room.” We hear Arnolds little footsteps going upstairs, then quickly go outside on the balcony back downstairs again. Arnold goes outside to go get drugs. Why do we even keep this guy with us lol.

We all start drinking heavily as it’s been a long day. I explain that I hid away the gold bars. I start talking with Mr. Whiskers and find out that he just sorta talks, that’s his special power. He can’t teleport or fly or anything. He is, however, at least 40 years old and quite smart. The rat is older than me! Also, nobody but me hears his voice.

Renier eventually joins us. We bring him up to speed. “Maybe we can just drink for a few hours. I’ll send my butler out there to search for it.”

He sets down to drink all evening. Smokey, our new black cat, gets a little more interested in Mr. Whiskers than is comfortable, so Germund puts it upstairs. In a hushed whisper, Germund asks Renier if he knows a guy for jewelry, supposedly for a wedding band. As Germund does so, Miriam complains loudly that Germund never does anything for her. I bring up selling the gold bars while we’re on the subject. Renier says he will try to find a guy. He actually suggests we find the owner and give the bars back. Joram will never let that happen. I tell Renier we need the gold for “operation funds for the group in which we all belong” (implying the Harpers).

I tell everyone about Grenda’s key that was hidden in front of the mausoleum. We all agree to head back to the City of the Dead to grab it back.

Next morning. Germund disguises himself as a groundskeeper. We send him inside the graveyard with a “good luck buddy”, not really expecting much. Surprisingly, he makes it to the tomb in the distance. He finds the key. It’s raw iron, so he superstitiously knocks on stone before grabbing it, then picks it up and puts it in his clippings bucket, making his way back.

As he heads back, Germund runs into one of the real groundskeepers. “I heard there was a bit of commotion last night. You must be new?” Germund: “Nice to meet you, I’m Arnold.” The groundskeeper has a tale: just recently the tomb was being cleaned after being abandoned for a long time. They have some groundskeeper talk for a bit, most of which revolves around complaining about grave maintenance. Germund rambles back to us, the mission a success.

I inspect the key - if it has magical properties I can’t tell. We decide to go to the blacksmith, as per the Mr. Whisker’s suggestion. We go to a blacksmith that is not near our bar. We don’t want to be tracked down too easily.

Third-person camera shows Lorhac, giving his beard a trim at the Lucky Ladder. He gets attacked by assassins that smash into the window. “How many windows do I have to fix?!” Hearing the scuffle, Reynard joins the melee. Bruin joins as well. There’s a big melee. The duergar assassins are eventually defeated, with the last one stabbing his head rather than be captured.  Everyone gets hurt. They knife bruin, Lorhac takes a few hardy slashes, etc. It’s a whole thing. Eventually, 4 duergar lie dead on the floor. There are none left alive to question. It shows Bruins collapsing, having a major knife wound. The womenfolk at the Ladder start screaming.

Back to our group, I recommend we go to a locksmith to check out the key. Locksmithing is a major guild, of course. We walk inside the closest locksmith office we can find and are greeted by a middle-aged asian-looking lady. I give the lady who greets us the key for inspection (after Germund pays for her services). She inspects it in a very professional manner with her very professional-looking tools. She announces that this key was made by a dwarven keysmith in the Trade District, by a woman named Alaspa Olma. We decide to hit her shop next.

After we get our info, I pay 20gp to get two locked doors in the Lucky Ladder(one for the upstairs door, one for my door). She says she will send a person the next day to start installation. I worry about the security at our bar with all the assassination attempts and fireballs and circus animals.

-20gp

Germund heads to a jewelry shop. He wants to pick out his engagement ring for Marian. He’s gonna make an honest woman out of her. Renier helps him find the shop. The jeweler's name is Jobe. Renier is calling in some unnamed favor with him for Germund. Jobe seems reluctant to do so. SUPER reluctant. He looks like we’re skinning his children. Germund pays him 190gp for a sapphire ring. The jewelry cries, drinking in his office, as Germund leaves with a receipt for the wedding band, which he sold for far too little. Germund thanks Renier. Asks him why he got the steep discount. Renier heavily denies that it was sexual in nature. That probably means it was sexual in nature. Reminder for everybody: Renier is gay.

We head to the Trade Ward. Renier and Basil get drunk. We arrive at the dwarven forge. I show her the key. “It’s definitely my work.”

Back at the Ladder, Bruin was being helped from his stabbing by an old herbalist woman:”I’ve done all I’ve done for them that I can” which freaks everyone else out. Bruin is dying. The rest of the crew jam Brin into a carriage and drive to the temple of Waukeen. Bruin lives again after the priests take a look (and no doubt a “tithe”). ”Where the hell is everyone?!” they wonder. The answer: we are shopping.

Back in the blacksmith shop, it takes a 16gp bribe from Basil to get the info on the key found in the City of the Dead.

The key belongs to Volkar Kibbins. He lives in the Old Windmill in the Southern Ward. The key opens his apartment. He lives with a man named Erlaster Gand. The key also opens a safe in the apartment.

Alaspa Olma offers to let us talk to the person who actually forged the key in a few hours. We agree to wait since “nothing important could possibly be happening at the Ladder”.

We end up in a dive bar to kill time, since Alaspa kicked us out from the locksmith shop. Renier buys us all the best stuff. Germund says “I didn’t know steaks were rare around here, but now that I think of it, I don’t see many cows.” He doesn’t understand what a rare steak is. Basil tries to get with Jenny (our waitress) and he gets a hard “maybe later tonight”. She tells him to come back at 11.

It’s still raining and overcast outside. We decide to head back, it’s about 1pm.

We go to find Jimbo, the key forger. He doesn't help much with the investigation, but he bonds with Germund over their superstitions. We then mock Germund for calling the location “South Ward” instead of “Southern Ward”. We all have a chuckle at the incompetence of people not born in Waterdeep. Then we head to Southern Ward (NOT South Ward).

We find an old windmill in the southern ward. It looks abandoned and dilapidated. The area is chained with a fence. We find a back entrance to go through after 20 minutes. We find a gap. We are lucky that Lorhac isn’t here, he would not have fit. Basil barely fits with his rippling muscles.

Germund does some superstitious stuff that increases his confidence for no logical reason as we approach. We attempt a Listening check and fail hard. But Mr. Whiskers doesn’t. He offers to go inside, saying “There’s people inside that room. Do you want me to scout ahead?” I say yes. A few minutes go by as we all watch the rat slink into the wall. Mr. Whiskers reports that there are a dozen squatters inside when he gets back. We decide to just go inside and intimidate them out.

As we go inside, we see a bunch of humans. Germund: “This is a property inspection!” I ask if there are more inside and they confirm that there are. Germund’s intimidation succeeds and they start shuffling out. We open the next door, finding nothing. We decide to clear each floor before moving up the stairs.

We find more squatters. We evict them as well. We keep doing that with all the rooms we find on the first floor. We don’t find any safes or anything cool on the first floor. We head upstairs.

I find an ancient millstone upstairs. Germund tries to move it and nothing happens. We explore the second floor. I notice that one of the doors has a fresh lock on it. I use the key and it works. Inside looks to be in good repair. It smells like roses, because there are roses in here. Fresh.

Two men tackle us from the shadows. Roll initiative.

The two men have clean clothes and don’t look like drifters. Jesse, one of the drifters, is immediately executed by Basil. Apparently, they snuck in when the previous owner left the door open as he was leaving; they have no key to this room.

Lawser Merclove is the name of the necromancer that wants seed. Owen Wainright, the survivor, tells the story: Lawser lives in Dennimark’s Wig Shop under the cellar. He has two human apprentices. They steal bones all over the city of the dead. Weird people sell their seed to him. The two men were working a job for Lawser the previous night when he saw us entering the crypt.

Opening up, Owen says he saw his employer (Lawser) went into the crypt with Grenda. He left alone, carrying some sort of stone (the Stone of Dalore, assumedly) and her necromancy spell book. So it is confirmed that the necromancer has the Stone and my future spell book.

We search the rest of the windmill. We find some light coloration where a safe might have been placed previously. Maybe 24”x24” in size. But it is gone.

+30s from the dead body (Jesse)

We leave the windmill, finding nothing else of note after a search.

We head towards Dennimark’s Wig Shop’s cellar in the Trade Ward. The front is locked and closed down. I cast Unlock on the front of the shop, opening the way. Renier wanted to go through the sewer systems to get in, I shut that down fast. I had enough of rolling around in the trash the previous day.

We get inside the shop and find the cellar behind the sales counter. It leads downstairs to a labyrinthian enclave below. As we enter the bottom floor, we hear sounds of a pitched battle.