THE KATEKISMO OF THE BAND OF THIEVES
In the beginning of the Band of Thieves, there was only one kredo required to be a professing member: “Thieves’ Uno is the best game.” This strict regulation was later loosened into the more recognizable kredo: “Thieves’ Uno is the best version of Uno.” And this kredo still holds true today. In fact, the entirety of the Katekismo could be summarized as that simple statement.
“Thieves’ Uno” is not just simply the the card game that is celebrated the world over; rather, Thieves’ Uno is in and of itself inseparable from the Band of Thieves. By confessing Thieves’ Uno as the best version of Uno, you profess the entire Band of Thieves, and by extension, this entire Katekismo.
SECTION ONE: KREDO DE FIDO
We affirm one Band of Thieves,
Headed by the Magesterium, which was derived from the Natural Order, who, when acting in trinity, alone can infallibly define doctrine and dogma regarding the Band and alone can infallibly interpret the Canon Law;
And we affirm one McQueen, first among equals, who, when acting in accordance with the Magesterium, exercises their authoritative position as the figurehead and universal bishop of the Band;
And we affirm the primacy of Thieves’ Uno, the best version of Uno, unique among all the simboloj, pillar of the Band on which the Band itself stands, and its role as the fulfillment of Uno;
And we affirm all the rest of the simboloj, which, in and of themselves, have no power, spiritual or otherwise, but are given value through their use in unifying the Band;
And we affirm the Most Venerable Tradition, from which all the clerics derive their authority, and its authoritative power over the Band, that we might hold steadfast to the teachings of those that came before us.
SECTION TWO: THE CLERGY OF THE BAND
Article I: The Magesterium
- The Magesterium is the most ancient authority in the Band of Thieves. It alone exercises the ability to infallibly create and interpret Canon Law. The Magesterium is comprised of exactly three clerics. In the Magesterium, the symbolic head is the McQueen, and the other two are the Patriarchs and/or Matriarchs.
Article II: The McQueen
- The McQueen of the Band of Thieves is the head of the Band of Thieves. They are the universal bishop of the Band, and as such, exercise authority over all ludoj throughout the universe. All non-magesterial clergy are subject the McQueen and their decrees. The McQueen can authoritatively ordain and disband clergy, and decree universal ordinances.
Article III: The Episkoparo
- The episkoparo of the Band of Thieves are entrusted with the solemn duty of spreading the bonovaĵo and shepherding their dioceses. They are given the power to appoint and disband clergy, create ordinances for their parish, and vote at council meetings.
Article IV: The Presbitero
- The presbitero of the Band of Thieves are entrusted with celebrating the simbolo of Thieves’ Uno and all other ludoj that fall under the authority of the Band. They are the chief evangelists of the Band, and help spread the bonovaĵo through their commitment to celebrating the simboloj.
Article V: The Diakoneco
- The diakoneco of the Band of Thieves are given the ability to define local ordinances for their round of Thieves’ Uno (and all other ludoj of the Band), but these ordinances are not binding and can be removed or overruled by clergy.
SECTION THREE: THE VENERABLE SIMBOLOJ OF THE BAND
Article I: The Simbolo of Thieves’ Uno
- The simbolo of Thieves’ Uno is the supreme simbolo among all simboloj; it is a pillar of the Band. It is not a ludoj—it is the reason for the Band’s existence. As such, it is the most central simbolo and should be treated with great reverence.
Article II: The Simbolo of Smatch-it
- The Natural Order, as verified by the Council of Lynd, is the predecessor of the Band of Thieves, and as such, Smatch-it is the predecessor to Thieves’ Uno. Accordingly, as Thieves’ Uno is a pillar to the Band, so was Smatch-it to the Natural Order. Since the Band of Thieves is its continuation, Smatch-it is another pillar of the Band, although not the most central one.
Article III: The Simbolo of Venerable Orders
- The Venerable Orders is the simbolo through which the men and women of the clergy are appointed. The seeds of the Venerable Orders were found just hours after the first round of Thieves’ Uno was ever played. The Majesterium, having already formed and developed its authority, appointed clergy to expand the Band even further. The Venerable Orders includes three degrees: episkoparo, presbitero, and diakoneco.
Article IV: The Simbolo of the Venerable Greeting
- The Venerable Greeting is the simbolo through which members of the Band grow closer and set themselves apart from the surrounding culture. This simbolo appears in many forms, but all forms share the core of the simbolo.
Article V: The Simbolo of Ludoj
- The ludoj are any games that fall under the authority of the Band of Thieves but are neither Thieves’ Uno nor Smatch-it. They still play essential roles in the Band, and as such are considered simboloj. Like the Venerable Greeting, they appear in many forms, but they are all considered the same simbolo.
- Examples include Crackpot, Thieves’ Coup, Thieves’ Four Square, and Chex, among others.
 The Council of Lynd, lines 23-26.
 The Council of Marshall, lines 24-25.
 The Council of Marshall, lines 48-49.
 “Regarding Changes in the Band”, lines 26-27.
 “Symbolism”, disclaimer.
 The Council of Lynd, lines 43-47.