The Good Words Podcast episode transcript: AUDACITY - ENCORE version (May 2020)
Lynn: Salutations, Logophiles! Miss Lynn with an encore episode of the Good Words Podcast about the word, "audacity," with some content slightly changed from the original version. Enjoy!
Fred: Knock, knock.
Millie: Who’s there?
Fred: Arthur.
Millie: Arthur, who?
Fred: Arthur any good reasons why you haven't opened the door yet?
Lynn: The unabridged Oxford English Dictionary contains over [extreme echo effect] two hundred thousand words! These words express the breadth and depth of human experience, from the ordinary to the spectacular. Yet the average American adult only knows about one-tenth of this total number of words, and regularly uses only about half of those. This podcast is dedicated to the pursuit of using words better, and using better words. This is the Good Words Podcast.
Robot voice: Good Words Podcast.
[music: "Good Words" by Miss Lynn]
Lynn: Salutations, Logophiles! Welcome to another episode of the Good Words Podcast with me, Lynn Hickernell. I have so much to share with you about this episode's theme word:
Anna: Audacity.
Lily: Audacity.
Ben: Audacity.
Grace: Audacity.
Ruby: Audacity.
Jessica: Audacity.
Logan: Audacity means boldness, or daring.
Grace: Boldness . . .
Ruby: Boldness . . .
Ben: Boldness . . .
Lily: Boldness, or daring.
Anna: Daring.
Grace: Daring.
Sarah: Daring.
Ruby: Especially with confident . . .
Grace: Confident.
Anna: Confident.
Logan: Confident or arrogant . . .
Ben: Arrogant.
Lily: Arrogant.
Sarah: Arrogant disregard for personal safety . . .
Grace: Disregard for personal safety . . .
Ruby: Personal safety . . .
Ben: . . . conventional thought . . .
Logan: . . . conventional thought . . .
Anna: . . . conventional thought . . .
Ruby: . . . conventional thought, or other restrictions.
Lily: . . . or other restrictions.
Grace: . . . or other restrictions.
Monster voice: Audacity.
Lynn: "Audacity" is a noun that describes someone's behavior, and a person who displays audacity could be called, "audacious." Can you think of a time that you or someone else was very bold, in spite of the fact that there were reasons not to be?
Grace: My mom is really audacious and bold, because, like, in a store, if her favorite song plays, she'll just start dancing and making her own dance moves, 'cause she knows she'll never see those people again. So she'll start dancing, like, whatever she wants to , and she'll start singing really loud, and she's not afraid to do that.
Ben: This dude thought he was a lot better than me in chess, and he was, like, "You're easy, I'm going to crush you," and then I beat him.
Logan: This kid in my class, the teacher was getting mad at him, and at the end of class, he goes up to the teacher and asks for a punishment. He thought he was being funny, not like, being bad.
Sarah: When Benjamin came running after us in the movie theater to return Lynn's scarf! I thought that was very bold of him, because he didn't know us, and he was running after strangers in a public place, um, and I think that was very brave.
Lynn: Benjamin was a boy I would guess to be seven or eight years old who had been sitting behind us in the movie theater. The scarf I dropped is very special to me, and you can see a photo of it in the show notes for this episode at goodwordspodcast.com. I knit it myself, and it is covered with beads that have words on them! So you can understand why I am so grateful for Benjamin's audacity in chasing after us and restoring my special scarf to me!
Lynn: One snowy day last winter, I asked one young friend and her parents about audacity.
Bronwen: I think you're often audacious.
Eloise: When?
Bronwen: Ooooooh . . . Now I can't think of an instance . . .
[adult laughter]
Bronwen: . . . but, I do think you are often audacious.
Eloise: Tell me.
Bronwen: I'm trying to think . . .
Eloise: Wait, let me show you something outside . . .
Lynn: And with that, my young friend jumped up and headed for the door!
Bronwen: It's freezing out there! What are you . . . ?
Eloise: Okay, fine, I'll get a jacket on . . .
Bronwen: Oh my god. What are you . . . ?
Eloise: I'll show you something. Watch out the window, it's . . . watch out the window, it's going to be right . . .
Lynn: Okay.
Bronwen: And then come right back inside.
Eloise: It's going to be . . . it's going to be on these stairs.
Lynn: Okay.
Bronwen: We got it, we got it.
Lynn: And then, much to the amazement of both her parents and me, she proceeded to slide down the railing of the steps in their very steep front yard!
Bronwen: That's auda . . . audacious? Okay.
[descending slide whistle sound]
Chipmunk voice: Audacity.
Lynn: I read a chapter book for young readers recently called The Shadow Hand, the first book in the "Babysitting Nightmares" series by Kat Shepherd. If you like scary mystery stories, I think you will love this book! The word "audacity" made me think of it for two reasons. Without giving anything away in the story, it is about four friends who have to be extremely audacious in the face of very spooky supernatural circumstances! And while I have never had to face anything like that (and I hope I never do!), there was also one passage in particular when one of the friends talks about another one's audacity in circumstances I could definitely relate to. Here is that passage from the audiobook, read by Sunny Lu:
Sunny Lu: Rebecca bent her head so that she was looking into Maggie’s eyes. “Remember when we both got the flu in second grade and Carolyn Hanson started calling me Barf Girl after I threw up on my math book? She and
all her friends followed me around every recess for a week, making fun of me until I cried.” “Ugh, Carolyn was the worst.” “Yeah, she was awful. But you stopped her, remember? You were still sick, but you made your mom let you come to school anyway, and that day at recess you told them off so hard, they were all in tears when you walked
away. They never bothered me again. You stand up for people, and you don’t care what the consequences are; you just do what’s right. You were totally fearless that day. And you made me feel braver, too. You still do.”
Lynn: I really admire the kind of audacity that Maggie exhibits in defending Rebecca. I wish I could say that I was audacious like that when I was their age, but honestly, when I was a kid and an adolescent, I often let concern over the potential consequences of my words and actions stop me from speaking up like Maggie. This next segment is about one specific time when that happened.
["Do Over" sound cue]
Adult Lynn: I am ten years old, in fifth grade. As the culmination of a unit which had us design and create our own inventions, the students in my class are presenting our inventions to the other fifth grade classes. My invention is an alarm that sounds to prevent drivers from pulling too far into the garage and hitting something. After all the presentations, my class answered questions from the other fifth graders. I had not attended this school for younger grades, so I didn't know the boy who put up his hand to ask a question about my invention. He had quite a severe speech impediment, and I couldn't understand what he asked. From the way some of his classmates snickered, I suspected he may have been saying something to make fun of my invention.
Kid Lynn: What? I didn't understand.
Adult Lynn: He repeated himself, to even more laughter from the students in his own class. I still had no idea what he had said. I just shook my head and when my own teacher was no help, looked to his teacher for guidance.
Other Teacher: Well? Are you going to answer him?
Adult Lynn: I didn't know what else to do, so I just stood there, shaking my head. Eventually my teacher moved the questioning on to another student. After the presentations, as the other classes were leaving, she took me aside.
My Teacher: When someone asks you a question, even if you think it's a silly question, you need to answer it. You can't just ignore them.
Kid Lynn: But . . . okay.
["Do Over" sound cue]
Lynn: This is a true "Do Over" conversation, because this is the second time that we're talking about this incident because there were technical issues after the first time! So I'm even more grateful than usual that Emily is here with me to talk about this for the second time, and we'll try and remember all of the things that we talked about the first time. Although I--yeah. I can't really remember anything that we talked about the first time . . .
Emily: I really can't, either. I just know that it still makes me feel a little uncomfortable. As it did the first time.
Lynn: Yeah. Yeah.
Emily: So, that's not changed.
Lynn: No. No, well . . . there's just so much that's awkward about this situation. I mean, someone who has, like, a severe speech impediment . . . I still, as an adult, have a hard time, if I don't understand someone, you know, like, in a store, or some kind of situation where somebody has a strong accent that I have a hard time understanding . . .
Emily: Right.
Lynn: . . . or a speech impediment, um, because I don't want them to feel embarrassed. I have a hard time saying--kind of, more than once, like, "I didn't understand what you said . . . "
Emily: Right.
Lynn: You know, I don't want to say that to them. But sometimes that's just what is necessary--you know, we're talking about the word, "audacity," and how that means being willing to be, kind of, bold and brave in some circumstances--part of that can mean--being willing to be humble, and say, you know . . .
Emily: Mmmmm-hmmmm.
Lynn: . . . I'm not going to pretend that I know something that I don't know. Like I didn't understand . . .
Emily: Right.
Lynn: . . . and I need you to repeat what you said.
Emily: Right.
Lynn: Um, yeah. That's was just really awkward and difficult.
Emily: Yeah. It was. And, um, I think we may have talked, said last time, the difference between, like, "Can you repeat that? I didn't hear you . . ."
Lynn: Right.
Emily: And, "I didn't understand you."
Lynn: Yeah.
Emily: 'Cause, does that mean, to some person, to somebody, like, "You need to raise the volume of your voice . . . "
Lynn: Mmmm-hmmmm.
Emily: Or does that mean, you didn't . . . I wasn't, I wasn't clear?
Lynn: Right.
Emily: Or, you really, actually didn't know the words that I was saying.
Lynn: Right.
Emily: And so it's, it can be hard to articulate the differences.
Lynn: Mmmmmmm.
Emily: And, you know, hard to articulate what you mean when you say, "I didn't understand you."
Lynn: Right.
Emily: There's . . . I think there's some different meanings there.
Lynn: That's true, that, that is an excellent point worth noting, I think, that, um, when you're trying to communicate with somebody--especially in a situation where there's already a miscommunication going on--to try and be patient with yourself about the fact that sometimes it takes a while to figure out a miscommunication . . .
Emily: Mmmm-hmmmmm.
Lynn: . . . from either direction, but also to really try and be as clear as possible about exactly what it is that you're having difficulty understanding. Right?
Emily: Mmmmm-hmmmm.
Lynn: "I don't understand because I can't hear what you're saying," or "I don't understand because you used a word I wasn't familiar with," or "I don't understand because, I'm hearing that you're talking but it's not making sense to my ear."
Emily: Right. Right.
Lynn: You know, to try and be as specific about that as possible is really helpful.
Emily: Right.
Lynn: Um . . . this happened, what? Thirty, more than thirty-five years ago? And I still have no [laughs], no idea what, what was being said, it's just that, everything that was going on in that situation, and the fact that the other kids were laughing . . .
Emily: Right.
Lynn: . . . leads me to believe that there was teasing going on, but . . .
Emily: But it's just so hard to know.
Lynn: Right.
Emily: Because you had the adrenaline going on from a . . .
Lynn: Mmmmmmm.
Emily: . . . presentation in front of many people . . .
Lynn: Right.
Emily: . . . and your peers, and at that age, that's a hard age, too.
Lynn: Yeah.
Emily: Um, but so you had the pressure from the presentation, plus you had, you know, the pressure of understanding his words . . .
Lynn: Mmmmm-hmmmm.
Emily: . . . and then, the pressure of the fear of, "Are they laughing at me?"
Lynn: Right.
Emily: Which is what we automatically assume, that people are laughing at us. You know, and it could have been that they--I mean, kids are mean, unfortunately, and that they could have been laughing at his speech.
Lynn: Yeah. Yeah.
Emily: I think that there's a lot of layers. Which makes this a difficult . . .
Lynn: Yeah. That's so true, that's, I mean--that's such a good point, though, I mean, even after all of these years have gone by, and obviously I've thought about this situation more than once because . . .
Emily: Right.
Lynn: . . . it's been thirty-five years and I still remember it . . .
Emily: Right.
Lynn: . . . like, I can still picture exactly where this took place, and you know, there's a lot of the specific details that I remember very vividly. And the idea that maybe they weren't making fun of me . . .
Emily: Mmmmm-hmmmmm.
Lynn: . . . you know, that's a really important thing to remember when you're vulnerable and exposed in a situation like that where you're out in front, that you don't know what other people's motives are, what their modus operandi is, necessarily, and--yes, they could have been making fun of me, but it's also totally possible that they weren't. And it's probably not helpful to jump to that conclusion.
Emily: Right.
Lynn: It doesn't help . . . that doesn't help you to be more audacious in the, in the moment to presume the worst intentions of the people whose intentions you don't really know!
Emily: Mmmmm-hmmmmm. Right. Right. Well, and in therapy, I talk a lot about your "worry brain."
Lynn: Mmmmmmm.
Emily: So, when your "worry brain" takes over . . .
Lynn: Mmmm-hmmmmm.
Emily: . . . in a situation like this, you don't, you just don't think clearly.
Lynn: Yeah.
Emily: And you can't see the whole situation. Because you've got adrenaline pumping through, you've got, you know, different parts of your brain lighting up that wouldn't normally . . .
Lynn: Right.
Emily: . . . be so activated. In, you know, if it was a calmer situation.
Lynn: Mmmmmm.
Emily: Um, or, you know, less intense emotionally.
Lynn: Right.
Emily: And so that's, I mean, with a lot of people we just call it your, your "worry brain," um, kicks in, and that's what takes over . . .
Lynn: Mmmmmmm-hmmmmmm.
Emily: And that's why you don't think clearly. You just assume the worst.
Lynn: Right.
Emily: And assume, "Okay, this is happening, so I'm going to worry about it . . ."
Lynn: Right.
Emily: " . . . and this is how I'm going to worry about it."
Lynn: Right. Yeah.
Emily: Mmmmm-hmmmmm.
Lynn: Yeah. Well, I mean, and I guess, it's really hard to learn that when you're a kid . . .
Emily: Absolutely.
Lynn: . . . and you haven't had very many opportunities to, sort of, practice and exercise not automatically letting your "worry brain" take over, right?
Emily: Mmmm-hmmmmm.
Lynn: I mean, that's definitely a skill that--
Emily: Mmmmmm. Lifelong. Yeah.
Lynn: I'm about to be forty-six, and I'm definitely still learning how not to let my "worry brain" take over. But also, that's a circumstance when it's really helpful, as a kid, to have grown-ups who hopefully . . .
Emily: Mmmmm-hmmmmmm. Right.
Lynn: . . . have had more experience and opportunity, to help you learn those skills and, you know, help you remember . . .
Emily: Mmmmm-hmmmmm.
Lynn: . . . you don't have to go to your "worry brain" place.
Emily: Right. Right.
Lynn: That was not forthcoming in this situation, either, unfortunately.
Emily: Mmmmm-hmmmmmm. Right. Right, well, you know, and the teachers involved in the situation, they, they weren't very helpful. I wish they could have seen, "Hey, okay not everybody's going to be familiar with this speech impediment, so we're going to be one step ahead of everyone and help prepare them."
Lynn: Right.
Emily: Or, you know, translate. I don't know if that's the correct word to use, but--you know what I--I mean, just to say, just for back up.
Lynn: Right.
Emily: And understanding.
Lynn: Yeah. Well, certainly, it seemed to me that the way that the other student's teacher responded to me, which was to say, immediately be accusatory, and . . .
Emily: Right.
Lynn: . . . you know, presume that I was intentionally ignoring him, I understood in the moment to be that she had no trouble understanding what he had asked. Which, I mean, I would hope she, you know, was his classroom teacher and this was towards the end of the school year, so presumably . . .
Emily: Mmmmm-hmmmmm.
Lynn: . . . she didn't have any trouble understanding him. But, yeah, I mean, that she would presume that everyone could understand him because she could . . .
Emily: Right.
Lynn: . . . seems short-sighted.
Emily: Yes.
Lynn: To me. So . . .
Emily: Right.
Lynn: Well, so let's, let's talk about how Kid Lynn might have handled this differently . . . Is there anything that, that Kid Lynn could do to prepare for being in a situation like this where her "worry brain," you know, is maybe going to be more ready to take over because she's under . . .
Emily: Mmmmmmmm.
Lynn: . . . pressure, she's being, you know, having to present in front of all of these people, and kids that she doesn't know, and um . . .
Emily: Mmmmmm-hmmmmmm.
Lynn: . . . you know, is there anything that, that Kid Lynn can do so that maybe she'll be more prepared to respond with audacity rather than let her "worry brain" take over?
Emily: Right. Right. Well, I think, when you give yourself a minute--not a whole minute--a, a space of time--it always feels like longer . . .
Lynn: Mmmmmmm. Mmmmm-hmmmmm.
Emily: . . . than it actually is. I remember doing a reading at church one time, and somebody said, "Just go slow. You'll feel like you're going at a snail's pace . . ."
Lynn: Mmmmm-hmmmmmm.
Emily: ". . . but everyone will be able to hear you a lot differently." So, I think it's that, of where, you know, the question--in this case, the question was asked, she didn't, she didn't understand, so, giving yourself that space to take a deep breath . . .
Lynn: Mmmmmm-hmmmmmm.
Emily: . . . you know, count to maybe five, or whatever, it's going to seem like an eternity . . .
Lynn: Right.
Emily: . . . but it's really, really not. But, and then look for the grown-up around.
Lynn: Mmmmmm-hmmmmm.
Emily: And, you know, in this case, a teacher. And just maybe saying, you know, going to the teacher, or stepping away from the microphone, or the podium, whatever it was . . .
Lynn: Yeah.
Emily: . . . and saying, like, "I didn't, I didn't understand. Can you help me?"
Lynn: Yeah.
Emily: "I don't know what the question is."
Lynn: Right.
Emily: That may, that may feel awkward . . .
Lynn: Mmmmm-hmmmmm.
Emily: But it's just . . . I think it can be done with grace.
Lynn: Mmmmm-hmmmmm.
Emily: And just at a slower pace.
Lynn: Mmmmmmm.
Emily: You know, and knowing that, you know, she's not up there alone.
Lynn: Mmmmmm-hmmmmmm.
Emily: Even though she's giving a presentation on her own. But it's . . . I mean, a grown-up should be around. A grown-up should be close by.
Lynn: Right.
Emily: Or even if we, if we're a grown-up and in that situation, another person is going to be around.
Lynn: Yeah.
Emily: You know, somebody, a friend, a family member, I mean, somebody's going to be around.
Lynn: Yeah.
Emily: Or a professional of some sort, you know, whatever, whatever it is, but, you know, but giving yourself that time to like, kind of step back, count to five, look around and say, okay, who can I, who can I bring in to this with me?
Lynn: Right. Yeah. "I feel like I need help, I should ask for help."
Emily: Yeah.
Lynn: 'Cause that's another thing, too, is sometimes people don't, don't know that you need help if you don't ask.
Emily: Right. Right. And I'm all about problem-solving on your own.
Lynn: Yeah.
Emily: I mean, I tell my kids every day, how can you take care of this? How can you problem solve right now?
Lynn: Right.
Emily: And, so I mean, I think there's space for both.
Lynn: Mmmmmmm-hmmmmmmm.
Emily: You know, because in that five seconds of taking a deep breath and giving yourself five seconds, maybe you think of what to say back into the microphone. Maybe you think to say, "I really didn't understand what you said. Can somebody help me, here?"
Lynn: Mmmmm-hmmmm.
Emily: You know, you don't have to leave, you can--however you problem solve, and the answer to the problem--I mean, I would think--would be a grown-up in this situation.
Lynn: Yeah. Yeah.
Emily: Or a teacher. Because the laughing kids and the kids who are making fun of you aren't going to--are not helping the situation.
Lynn: Right. Yeah. Yeah. It reminds me of something that you said in an earlier episode about responding rather than, rather than reacting?
Emily: Mmmmm-hmmmmm.
Lynn: You know, it seems like, reacting is what your "worry brain" is going to push you . . .
Emily: Oh, sure.
Lynn: . . . to just react in, in the moment, right?
Emily: Right. Mmmmm-hmmmm.
Lynn: But if you can remember to take that little bit of time . . .
Emily: Mmmmm-hmmmmmm.
Lynn: . . . that'll help you to be able to respond rather than react.
Emily: Just react.
Lynn: Yeah.
Emily: Mmmmm-hmmmmm.
Lynn: Yeah. Well, that seems really helpful. Let's see if maybe we can integrate those suggestions into a way that Kid Lynn can "Do Over" this invention scenario in a way that is less distressing for her.
Emily: Okay. Sounds good.
["Do Over" sound cue]
Other Teacher: Are you going to answer him?
[five faint clicking sounds]
Kid Lynn: I do want to answer, and I don't want to embarrass anyone, but I really don't understand the words that you're saying. Will you help me understand? Maybe one of the teachers can help me understand?
Sci Fi voice: Audacity.
Lynn: I always feel better about the experiences from my childhood that I share with you in this podcast after Emily helps me think and talk about them. I hope that if something is confusing or troubling to you, you'll find someone you trust to help you think and talk about it. And if you're feeling down right now, I hope this next segment will help you feel better . . .
Many voices: GET IT?!?!?
Grace: Why did the critic write a bad review of the restaurant on the moon?
Fred: The food was fine, but there was no atmosphere. I don't really get that one.
Lynn: "Atmosphere" is what it's like inside a restaurant, like how it's decorated, and how it's lit, and like the feeling that they want you to have when you go inside the restaurant. Like if it's loud, or quiet, or like that.
Ben: Where does a tree store its belongings?
Charlie: In the trunk. [giggle][sigh]
Ben: Get it, like a car has a trunk?
Madeleine: What did the digital clock say to the Grandfather clock?
Lily: "Look, no hands!"
Logan: Why do dragons sleep during the day?
Millie: So they can fight knights.
Charlie: How would that be funny?
Lynn: Because they fight knights, and if you say they "fight nights," it also means they fight at night.
Charlie: Oh!
Lynn: They're sleeping during the day so they can fight at night.
Grace: What has an elephant's trunk, a zebra's stripes and a giraffe's neck?
Lily: A zoo.
Monster voice: Good Words Podcast.
Lynn: Do you have a joke that you'd like to hear on this podcast? If you do, record it on a smartphone as an MP3 file, and email it to me at misslynn@goodwordspodcast.com. Make sure to include your first name so I can thank you at the end of the program. Speaking of which, that's where we are right now! This episode of the Good Words Podcast has been about the word "audacity," and it will conclude shortly with my song, "A Bit Shy," from the CD, "Still Learning." This program was written, recorded, and edited by me with invaluable contributions from so many other people. I am really grateful for the help of Emily King, Kat Shepherd, and Macmillan Audio for the clip of The Shadow Hand. As well as all my contributors: Andy, Anna, Ben, Bronwen, Charlie, Eloise, Fred, Grace, Jessica, Keli with an i, and Kelley with an 'ey', Lily, Logan, Madeleine , Millie, Ruby, Sarah, all of the GWP Partners, and to you for listening. To find out about helping make future episodes as a GWP Partner, visit patreon.com/goodwordspodcast. To make sure you don't miss an episode, subscribe on iTunes, and while you're there, write a review and give a rating, to help other listeners discover the Good Words Podcast! Until the next time, keep listening and talking about what astonishes you, amuses you, infuriates you and frightens you. And as long as you tell the truth, with kindness, the things you say will be good words. Bye for now.
[music: "Good Words" by Miss Lynn]
[music: "A Bit Shy" by Miss Lynn]
This encore episode (originally released in September 2018) focuses on the word, "audacity." It includes an excerpt from Kat Shepherd's book, The Shadow Hand, a "Do Over" discussion about, "The Invention," and concludes with Miss Lynn's song, "A Bit Shy."
Complete show notes at https://www.patreon.com/posts/21141033