Bald Eagle Security (commercial parody)

(We see a middle aged bald/balding guy, dressed in a security outfit with the name Eagle over his pocket in front of an american flag, speaking proudly of his company)

This is Bald Eagle security, Yes my name is Eagle and yes I happen to be bald. We do not offer 24-hour security like many of our competitors. That would be outrageous, but we will work between the hours of 8:30 and 5:00 with a one hour lunch and two fifteen minute breaks.

(Tone changes to sad)Unfortunately, many of our apparent detractors, i.e. criminals have figured out the schedules of the Bald Eagle security service and have attacked many of the businesses we represent during these lunchtime and breaks.

Although we have lost several, most of our clients, (Regaining confidence in his voice) I'm here to assure you that we will diligently protect your business during business hours and that is the Bald Eagle guarantee.

Stay Aware, Call Bald Eagle

Black out