Twilight Mirage 40: Like What We Used To Do
Transcriber: Jen @wronghandle#1989
[MUSIC - “The Notion” begins]
AUSTIN: [narrating] The children argued over what it was the entire trip back, dragging it over the dry cracked clay towards Big Garage, whirring hovermotor struggling under its weight, their own muscles sore from digging it out and clearing a path through the scrap. Valena thought it was a massive drinking bowl, its shape and ruddy metal similar to some of her mother’s tableware. But Bijul disagreed. This was definitely a shield, she said, like the saints from the old Crown of Glass used. Nevermind that it didn’t have any mount or grip to hold it with, or any sort of glass at all. As for Justero, well. He said it was some sort of sled or vehicle, but that was mostly an excuse to ride in it as the other kids pushed it along.
But when Besterinian saw what the flock of preteens was pushing, he knew what it was at once. He was a gleamer, after all, one of those dealmakers who paced the border of the Crash Yards eager to offer too little in exchange of salvage too heavy to keep carrying. And he wasn’t only a gleamer— he was the best on Gift-3. And that’s how he knew that it wasn’t a shield, or a sled or a bowl. It was a fingernail. It was the fingernail of something great, something gone. Something he thought he could maybe help bring back.
Days can be long, but these ones were short. Just hours after he’d gotten in touch with the Mandati Special Projects Division, an entire dig site was set up under shadow and cloak. Silent pulleys and noiseless windblasters. Featherlights and route rumblers. An entire division of secret researchers devoted to collecting and analyzing dust particles. Soon Besterinian and Bijul were posing with the local Resonant Orbit Note, the sort of photo op that can turn a civil servant into a career politician. The sort of photo op you don’t publish until you’re sure you’re right.
“I still think it’s a kind of shield,” said Bijul.
But as yet another transport from Big Garage landed, filled with those desperate to find the colossal body of a protector, Besterinian simply nodded. “Yeah. A kind of a shield.”
[MUSIC - “The Twilight Mirage” ends]
AUSTIN: Welcome to Friends at the Table, an actual play podcast focused on critical world-building, smart characterization, and fun interaction between good friends. I am your host, Austin Walker. Joining me today— Alicia Acampora.
ALI: Um, hi! My name is Ali, you can find me at ali_west on Twitter. You can find the show at friends_table, and uh if you’re like looking for fans of the show and stuff that they make, you can um follow hashtag, just friendsatthetable.
AUSTIN: Hashtag justfriendsatthetable (JACK: No no no no)
ALI: It’s just hashtag friendsatthetable [laughing]
AUSTIN: You can see where I was confused.
ALI: Yeah. I said that, I said it wrong. But I also realized that we’ve never said it, and maybe there’s people out there who are like, “I really want to see a picture of what Samot looks like” and guess what?
AUSTIN: So do a lot of other people, and they’ve drawn him! Uh, also—
ART: Unfortunately, he’s a dog now. That, that’s
[general laughter]
AUSTIN: You have a lot ot catch up on, honestly.
ART: Yeah, you’ve missed of—
AUSTIN: You missed a lot. Um, also joining us today, that’s the voice of Art Martinez-Tebbel.
ART: Hey! You can find me on Twitter at atebbel. And if we’re plugging show websites, go over to friendsatthetable.(Cache) (ALI: Ooh.)
AUSTIN: That’s another good website to plug. What’s over there?
ART: That’s our Patreon, where you can get some exclusive content like Bluff City, Live at the Table, Tips at the Table, Clapcast, and uh, some more probably, yeah.
AUSTIN: We released an hour and a half-long Clapcast. [ALI sighs] Clapcast is like, what we talk about before and after recording, and also sometimes while we’re recording? It’s an hour and a half long, you can get that for a dollar. It’s us talking about—
ART: Sometimes instead of recording. Sometimes we just say we’re gonna record and instead (AUSTIN: [sighs] God) we just do like an hour of nothing.
AUSTIN: We do an hour on Spencer’s Gifts.
ALI: I just wanna say really quickly that the first episode of the Clapcast was like, eight minutes long. (AUSTIN: Uh huh.) And then … there’s another one that’s an hour and a half.
AUSTIN: That’s an hour and a half.
ART: Someday people will be like, “Did you know that Clapcast started as an actual play thing? [AUSTIN snickers] And now it’s just three hours [KEITH and ALI laugh] a week of these idiots talking about nothing?”
AUSTIN: Talk about actually nothing. I’d love it, honestly. Frankly. Um, also joining us, uh uh Jack de Quidt.
JACK: Hi! I’m Jack. You can find me on Twitter at notquitereal or buy any of the music featured on the show at notquitereal.bandcamp.com.
AUSTIN: That’s another website.
[overlap]
JACK: I know, it’s just with websites all the way.
AUSTIN: Uh, third … all the websites.
AUSTIN: Finally, Keith Carberry also here. Also probably has a website.
KEITH: Uh, yeah, yeah. It’s great to be here, my name’s Keith, nice to, y’know, see you guys.
AUSTIN: Well, thanks for coming through.
ALI: Hey!
KEITH: No problem. And if you wanted to go to my websites, you can go to Youtube.com/runbutton or contentburger.biz. That’s the Patreon that I’m a part of apart from friendsatthetable.(Cache). That’s a great way to get, y’know, move videos than the regular Runbutton videos, if that’s what you’re into.
AUSTIN: What are y’all streamin’ these days? What’s your LP? What’s your Patreon-only stuff?
KEITH: The Patreon-only LP we’re doing ah, the first Yakuza game. Not the recent—
AUSTIN: Not Kiwami, not Kiwami.
KEITH: No, but PS2 Yakuza 1.
AUSTIN: Mark Hamil Yakuza. Michael Madsen.
KEITH: Mark Hamil Yakuza. Mike— Mark Hamil’s Yakuza.
[general laughter]
AUSTIN: Mark Hamil Presents: Yakuza. Mark Hamil’s in that game, to be clear. Ah, you can follow me on Twitter at twitter.com/austin_walker. And also we have a Facebook group. We have an official Facebook group that you can follow, or like we’re on Facebook, facebook.com/friendsatthetable I think? (ALI: Yes) There’s also a Fans at the Table that is also very good, and you should check those out as well.
Um. Okay. So. Let’s, let’s get on the same page real quick. Last time um, a man who runs a transport business named Alabaster Went got in touch with Grand Magnificent and said, “Yo, my niece is missing. In fact I think a lot of kids have gone missing, a lot of like, teenagers. And I think that it’s an NEH plot to brainwash them because I have evidence of them being with some Torch Units.” Which are those like, big robots. Y’all investigated that, tracked them to a place called Big Garage Tower— Coworking Tower #12. You kind of caught them inside a place that was making experimental audio technology and uh, found out that they were there to steal— this teenager named Orellia Ject was there with two Torch Units and a floating droning— to steal and install this piece of technology that would give the Torch Units the ability to speak. They could already communicate with uh, hand signals. With kind of sign language. But also to give them the ability to speak, which they previously didn’t have. It was news to you that they could communicate in any way at all, that they were sapient or sentient in this way at all, because previously the Torch Units you had encountered had all worked on routines and never been— never had self awareness.
In the process of being called cops by this teen, the alarms went off. Y’all pretended to be alarm sales, er alarm testers,(ALI: Inspectors) inspectors to avoid detection. Dealing with a cop named Every Avery. And having dealt with that and having installed this special voicebox into the the Torch Unit named Yam, you were welcomed to a place called the Ark and Ciel Amovement Park, which is a moving kind of sand crawler/land crawler-shaped giant amusement park that travels around Gift-3 that has been turned into a sort of commune. Kind of like an anarchist commune by a group of teens that is unofficially led by a 19-year old girl, woman named Vanya who kinda of explained the situation to you. And that basically like, “Hey, a lot of us have shitty home situations. Like, our parents have not been great. And we are trying our best to establish something that can be self-sustaining and can be separate from this place that we’re a part of.” There are about 300 kids there, I think I said a dozen, maybe two dozen Torch Units. I don’t remember if I gave a number on that. If I did, whatever I said before. Let’s just say it’s like a dozen or two dozen, y’know 15. [ALI laughs] 15 Torch Units. Um … ah … again, led by someone named Vanya de la Vega who kind of implored you to help them. Like, “Hey, what we really need is some way to protect ourselves. This machine has some sort of weird shield that could protect them, but they don’t have a power source for it. And they told you, “Hey, if you go to Big Garage, you can, you can get the power supply that we need, this kind of perpetual motion engine.” Big Garage meaning not just the city, but the actual Big Garage like airship that is the kind of hub of the Mandati HQ. Their actual governmental and industrial home.
Um, so I think we should just jump ahead a little, because last time we saw y’all, you were in a bungalow on the, on the amusement park still. But I think we come in, because, because— you know what, I should actually back up a second.
Today we are continuing our game of ah Scum and Villainy, which is by Stras Asmovic and John LeBoeuf-Little, which is a hack of Blades in the Dark by John Harper. My goals are: to convey the fictional world honestly, to bring the Mirage to life, to play to find out what happens. Um, and also to make everything technological and touchable and tactile. I don’t have that actual rule written down in front of me, but that’s me saying it by, by memory. And before we jump in all the way, I do want to go over one quick thing because I want to make sure that y’all keep in mind all of the abilities that you have. Not just in terms of like, stats on your sheet, but also in terms of the kind of abilities that slip through the cracks sometimes because it is easy to forget that you have all these cool teamwork things. I think this side probably used them a bit more than the other side in the first session? But I still want to go over them just so we’re all on the same page.
So. Um. Ah. Here are things I want to remind y’all of. At any point, you can spend two stress to push yourself? Which will give yourself a +1 die or raise the level of effect on a roll. So let’s say you’re gonna have limited effect, you can push yourself to have ah, standard effect instead. Or you can push yourself to get an extra die on that roll. You can also spend, an ally— you can spend one stress to assist somebody if you can explain how that works. Like, what you’re doing to do it? Then you can give them an extra die. So instead of them pushing themselves for two stress and, and getting one die, you can do it for one. Um. You can also at any point ask me for a devil’s bargain, which would give you an extra die on a roll. You can also take from the gambit points. Y’all have two gambit points.
Finally, a big big big one, the one that should come up a lot is that you can resist, um … things that happen. You can resist negative consequences by saying, “Hey, no— that doesn’t happen, instead this other thing happens. I’m gonna roll to resist it.” And the roll to resist it isn’t whether or not you get to resist it, it’s how much stress you take while resisting it. To some degree it’ll be like, “Okay, on this one you can totally resist the consequences” and on other rolls it might be like, “you get stabbed in the chest with a sword … okay, well maybe you don’t get stabbed all the way in the chest, maybe you get your arm cut instead.” So there’s gonna be degrees of resistance, but by and large there is a lot of room for kind of dodging ah, negative, negative outcomes? And it’s just— reminder to say, “Oh actually I want to resist that.” Um.
Ah, one more big one here that I want to say that today, starting today we’re going to start using a special rule that is an optional rule that’s in the back of the Scum and Villainy book called teamwork gambits. And that says [reading] If a teammate assists you, you may generate a gambit on desperate rolls as well. So if there’s a desperate roll— traditionally you only get gambits from risky rolls? But if someone assists you, you can get a gambit from a desperate roll also. And then finally, when someone leads a group action, if multiple sixes are rolled like, across the team, you gain two gambits instead of one. So. So that’s like, hey, teamwork. Use it. Use it all the time. (ALI laughs) This is a game about teamwork. This is a game about comin’ together. The Notion is all about co-operation. So like, be co-operative as much as possible. Um. Okay. So.
I think that we actually pick up in a safe house that is like, in the shadow of Big Garage Coworking Tower #12. So it’s like, very close to where y’all tracked Orellia and the two Torch Units previously. Um. It is kind of an apricot sky with like, kind of grey-white clouds outside of a giant window. Um. There are, like posters on the wall of local musical acts. This is like, in a— I think that Vanya just has a good relationship with whoever runs this building? And lets them use it basically as a safe house. I think it’s like a converted attic space, is probably what it is? So there’s like, some sort of entertainment center hooked up. We described this on the other side of the game, in another recording— that a lot of what would be TVs are just like, gas projectors in this world? And the gas gets like, shot with light. And so they can kind of, the gas is able to like, take different forms. And it’s almost like, holographic? But it’s always this very— like, if you walked through it, you would come through it and have a little bit of moisture on you. Because it’s all like, vaporized water basically. Um. So one of those is there and it’s probably playing something.
And it’s the four of you plus Yam, who was the Torch Unit who Gig, you installed the voice modulator thing into. And they are there with you because. Um. So Vanya said in the last session that she wasn’t going to send a teenager to break in to Big Garage and steal a thing called a perpetual motion engine. That’s dangerous! But the Torch Units as a group decided that they did want to see y’all in action and see if they could trust you, basically. Like, Yam obviously I think trusts Gig because of Gig working to install the voice box into them? But there’s this larger question of like, are you cops? Still. Y’know? Like, how will you deal with things, who will you help out. How violent are you … and like, how how how committed to nonviolence are you? When when will you step up, versus when you won’t. And so Yam has come along as almost like, um. One: as a cool robot who you can talk to. [laughs] And two: as an observer and a comrade for for this mission.
So I think it’s the five of you in this building. And I think Yam is standing completely still. And it’s almost— if you didn’t know, you’d think Yam was completely turned off because like, they don’t need to relax. They are built to stand. And just watching some sort of musical performance on the TV. On the gaseous projector TV. I want to say it’s probably like, some local punk band that is that same thing as what the posters are? I don’t have a name for this local punk band. Does anyone have a good name for this local punk band? Or like, I don’t know. Actually— Gig, what is music like on Gift-3? What is the … what do cool teens listen to? Since you are from Gumption’s Gambit originally.
KEITH: Uhhhh … I would say it’s sort of like, hmm. Honestly, it’s probably pretty noise-heavy, like actual punk. Like, lotsa noise.
AUSTIN: Right. So like, No Age? I don’t know if you know No Age. But like, you should look up No Age, they’re dope.
KEITH: I don’t know No Age.
AUSTIN: Or like, Times New Viking, which is one of my all-time faves. It’s like, noisy punk. Like actually, kind of … not aggressive, but like really blending the line between … more noise than pop.
KEITH: Yeah.
AUSTIN: Okay. Cool. So I think you see Yam— the only movement Yam has is that they’re like, bopping their head along to the music, but the rest of their body is completely still. The basic pitch that Vanya gave you before you came here was, “alright, the” … I’m gonna move y’all over on the screen here, that’s not what she said … let’s move you to Big Garage here.
Two things. One: you’ll see there’s a map of the planet, a very loose rough map at the bottom. That way you can see here’s where Big Garage is, here’s where Seiche is, here’s where the Ark is. Don’t worry about that thing called Polyphony. You don’t need know what that is! I’m sure it’s fine! Uh. There’s this big picture in front of you of the basic outline of Big Garage. It’s this gigantic ship, it’s like a giant airship that has engines on the bottom and the back. It floats high in the air, and it only ever comes down to reach by conventional means, by connecting to one of these towers. One of the the co-operative towers where it transmits data and also transports information through these giant tubes that run up and connect to it. And also fuel and stuff like that for some of the stuff in there. It’s going to be coming down and connecting within the next like, three days. So you have three days to prep for this. And then it’s time to get on board and find and locate one of these perpetual motion engines.
And so. Obviously we’ve been kind of playing fast and loose with the structure. But I think we’re in what you would traditionally consider the legwork period right now. And so out the window you can see Big Garage hovering and kind of flying in circles above as it as it, y’know, prepares in the next few days to come down and hook up with this tower.
Um. So what are y’all up to? What are you gonna do with this time, and what is of concern?
JACK: Real quick question. Are we resetting stress and resetting load and things?
AUSTIN: Load yes. Stress requires down time. You have not had down time.
JACK: Ohmygod.
[ALI makes a nervous noise]
KEITH: Oh, what’s my stress at? I forgot.
AUSTIN: I don’t know.
KEITH: Let’s see … stress …
AUSTIN: You have zero stress.
KEITH: Oh, none! That’s cool.
AUSTIN: Gig has zero stress. Let’s go over that! Gig! How much stress do you have?
KEITH (as Gig): I’m feelin’ really good.
AUSTIN: Uh huh. So you have none. How much you do have, Fourteen?
JACK: [sings out] I’ve got four.
AUSTIN: Okay! [KEITH laughs] Tender Sky, how ‘bout you?
ALI: I have one?
AUSTIN: Okay, and Grand Magnificent?
ART: Where? Is this?
AUSTIN: It’s on your sheet.
ART: I’m looking at my sheet.
KEITH: It’s like the fifth row. It’s under your Vice.
JACK: If you click the thing where it says “ship mode”—
ART: Oh. Okay, zero.
JACK: And then click it again.
AUSTIN: Yeah yeah. You got it.
ART: Zero is my amount of stress.
AUSTIN: Alright. So Fourteen, you have been stressed pretty bad. But everybody else is in pretty good shape. I should note for people listening at home, when you hit nine stress, that’s when you receive a point of Trauma. But also remember that you can just not take stress and instead let the thing happen that happens. Instead of resisting. So … (JACK: Yeah. That’s true.) Or instead of pushing yourself.
KEITH: Yeah. Remember: just give up.
AUSTIN: Just give up. [ALI laughs] Sometimes things go bad.
JACK: Ah, my other question about load real fast is, if I remember right from when we played Blades in the Dark, we don’t choose a loadout. We just choose how much we’re carrying (AUSTIN: Yes, correct) and then in the moment, we go, “I have actually have … this!”
AUSTIN: Yes. 100%.
JACK: So long as we have enough points.
ART: That’s so cool. What a great system.
AUSTIN: So you pick three load, five load, or six load. You don’t have decide yet, you’re not on the mission yet. You’ll decide that as you decide what kind of method to to to do this mission with. Um. So yeah, that’s basically where y’all are at. Any other questions about the setup, or information or or anything else? (ALI: Hmm.)
ART: Is it bad that I don’t have any ideas?
[ALI laughs]
AUSTIN: No, ‘cause this isn’t a game about planning, right? I would say the ideas you should have are like, how can I get a little bit more information? I think, I think Vanya tells you that … you know, the way these missions work is that there should always be one point of obvious entry? One sort of obvious plan? And I think the obvious one is like, you go in with that tube. It’s a transport plan, (JACK: Yeah) we put y’all in crates or whatever. And like, put you in the transport tube somehow, and get you onboard that way? But there are lots of other possibilities here, depending on what y’all think of, what you research and figure out.
ALI: I do love crates.
AUSTIN: Crates are cool.
JACK: [laughs] Crates are … yeah, I mean I— they’re kind of cramped, is the thing. They’re a little cramped. And also they’re going to be going up a tube, right?
AUSTIN: Yeah, I bet they’re not even crates really. I bet you they’re something else. I actually think that they’re something rubbery? Or something that has like a gooey sauce around them? (JACK: Alright, not crates.) To keep them from breaking as they go through at high speed through this super tube? (ALI: Mmm.) D’you know what I mean? You don’t want like a— you don’t really want there to be a crate just bouncing around inside of a giant metal vacuum tube. That’s how you get crates broke.
JACK (as Fourteen):: Right. Could we … Gig.
KEITH (as Gig): Yeah.
JACK (as Fourteen):: How … You know these folks, right? Loosely? You know this group.
KEITH (as Gig): Sure.
AUSTIN: You definitely know the Gumption’s Gambit part of it, which is the minority part but is still a substantial—like, the Mandati are descended from people from Gumption’s Gambit from 800 years ago. I have look at a timeline again, but hundreds of years ago. So there’s some overlap there. But you definitely know the Gumption’s Gambit side of this.
KEITH (as Gig): Uhhh, yeah. I mean, I’m familiar with the vibe at least.
JACK (as Fourteen):: Is it the sort of vibe where we could … So you didn’t see this, but earlier Tender and I pretended to be alarm inspectors. And it went really well, didn’t it?
KEITH (as Gig): Oh. This is literally the first I’m hearing about this.
ALI (as Tender): Yeah.
JACK (as Fourteen):: It was great. It was fantastic.
ALI (as Tender): Grand was there too. [laughs]
KEITH (as Gig): Is that a job? Is alarm inspector a job?
JACK (as Fourteen):: Well, I think we made it sound enough like one.
KEITH (as Gig): You— you made your own job.
JACK (as Fourteen):: Yeah. More or less. Do you think that sort of thing will fly here?
KEITH (as Gig): Uhh no. These people can test their own alarms.
AUSTIN: That’s the right answer! [ART laughs]
ALI (as Tender): This seems like kind of a smash and grab?
ART (as Grand Magnificent): Is everyone 100% sure that there aren’t crate inspectors?
AUSTIN: Um, I think at that point, Yam says … ahhh, I’m trying to think of how Yam would be able to communicate this. Yam would say— like, stops bobbing their head and turns and looks at you when you say “crate inspector” and says,
AUSTIN (as Yam): [tinny voice] Big Garage is known to have 7,000 crate inspectors over the last 22 years.
JACK (as Fourteen):: Okay!
ALI (as Tender): The odds are in our favor.
JACK (as Fourteen):: So the thing is, I don’t know if that’s a big number or a small number as far as crate inspectors are concerned.
ART (as Grand Magnificent): It feels like a really high turnover. I mean 350 crate inspectors a year.
KEITH (as Gig): Or there’s a lot of crates.
ART (as Grand Magnificent): Right. There’s a lot of crates and all of these people have worked forever.
KEITH (as Gig): I think it’s probably a lot of crates.
JACK (as Fourteen):: Okay, raise your hand if you’re prepared to go in a crate.
AUSTIN: Immediately Yam’s hand just jumps all the way up. [ALI laughs] Still bobbing their head to the music.
ALI (as Tender): My hand goes up.
KEITH (as Gig): I’m prepared to go in a crate, I just don’t think that coming out of a crate and saying, “we’re just doing our job!” [ALI laughs]
JACK (as Fourteen):: No no. This is why you need— I can see why you’d say that. Yeah, exactly. I’m a crate inspector, I’m not going in one of those fluid crates.
ALI (as Tender): Ahh!
JACK (as Fourteen):: So what happens is, I go in. And I say, “I’ve got some crates.”
[ALI and ART laugh]
KEITH (as Gig): Oh, so this is like a Trojan horse. You’re doing a Trojan horse?
JACK (as Fourteen):: Yeah. If there was just a person walking in front of the Trojan horse going, “Anybody want a horse?” Also I don’t think we know what the Trojan horse is.
AUSTIN: No. Probably not. [ALI laughs]
ART: I don’t know, that’s such a good thing to …
AUSTIN: To pass through time and history. Yeah.
KEITH: That’s great. Out of character, right? Trojan horse wasn’t a thing, no one knows about Trojan horses. [ALI laughs] They wouldn’t see it and go, “Hmm maybe this is a Trojan horse” because it never happened.
ART: Yeah. At that point we should just get a big horse.
AUSTIN: I just want to— out of character also— remind y’all that you’re in a big city. You can do lots of investigation, how you can find out more about Big Garage.
KEITH (as Gig): Honestly, I’m way into being inside a crate. I just don’t think that ahh … [laughing] I don’t think that “let’s go to a place and lie about our job” is gonna work every time.
ALI (as Tender): Only Fourteen is lying, and they’ll have the job and the crates. [laughs]
ART (as Grand Magnificent): What if we chatted up a crate inspector? What if we find an existing crate—
KEITH (as Gig): When we pop out—
AUSTIN: I have a question. How does Fourteen get up there? [pause] I love this, I just— we don’t have a ton of time today, and so as much as I want to do this bit for the next hour—
JACK: Yeah. Alright. I’m gonna try and investigate something. And what I’m gonna try and investigate is, when this thing comes down to refuel, there must be some way for people to board it, right? There must be some— ‘cause if they’re shipping goods on, is there not like an envoy from the city below that joins sometimes? Or is there some weird trade agreement that needs to take place? Or—
AUSTIN So how are you researching, what are you doing? Again, you got a couple days, you’re in this— so Big Sprawl— hmm. Big Garage as a city is like, a sprawling low-height city. The bulk of the buildings— think about Los Angeles here, which is like, yes there are some skyscrapers, there are tall buildings here and there. In Big Garage, there are these giant towers, there are 20 or something. But the bulk of it is kind of low. It’s on some hilly terrain here or there. But there aren’t giant skyscrapers everywhere. So. That’s the picture of the city of Big Garage. But it’s filled with libraries, it’s filled with businesses, it’s filled with a billion other things. D’you know what I mean? So how are you researching what your question is here? What’s the scene, where does Fourteen Fifteen go? Does anybody go with them?
JACK: Ah, anybody is more than welcome to come. And what I am going to go for is as …
ART: Grand would like to come.
ALI: I’d like to come.
Jack: Excellent! I’d like to go for … Um. You know when you go to the airport, you see like, front desks for airlines that you can’t and will never be able to afford?
AUSTIN: Yes, all the time.
JACK: Where it’s like, if you went to this desk and gave someone $40,000, they’d put you on a very small nice plane somewhere? Is there one of those in Big Garage? Is there a passenger thing or a transport thing like, staffed by a bored attendant?
AUSTIN: Yeah. You know where it is because it’s where you originally landed The World Without End at the whatever the Big Garage civilian transport space is. (JACK: Oh yeah.) And it’s where you met Alabaster Went, who remember runs a transport service. He runs a shipping service. (JACK: [laughing] My god.) And so you know that place pretty well. It’s like, the the Gift-3 Miracle Airport. Or something like that. You can totally go– where do you in that place? Like, I imagine that– so that’s a place that’s filled with drones, it’s filled with things automatically moving all over the place constantly. There are lots of like, small city hoppers that move around a bunch of different places? That go around Big Garage? And then there’s also ones that go to and from Seiche, which is the other settlement on Gift-3? And then also to a couple of more rural areas.
So you’re looking at a map, a a very loose abstract map of the planet here. Imagine that anywhere that is red are what we call the Crash Yards, which are these like giant collections of scrap and crashed machines and things that were pulled out of the imaginations of people on this planet and made metal and real. Or plastic and real. Everywhere that’s kind of tan is is rural, or kind of like, dusty steppes or plains. And throughout those there are little fishing villages and towns and things like that. Here and there, there are kind of automated … um … not spaceports, but kind of like airfields and stuff like that. And so you have a lot of ships going to and from those places to collect and deposit new scrap. And so yeah, you’re in the Miracle Spaceport, which is where your big ship came down. And I imagine you see posters for– inquiring for, “Visit Big Garage! Everyone on Gift-3 should see where the magic happens at least once in your life!”
JACK: Is it like, in neon?
AUSTIN: Yeah yeah. You know what? It’s probably not in neon. I actually think that it’s in matte orange poster board with like, hard black llnes. Y’know? Like, black glossy lines on this orange matte background. It’s not glowing. It’s very much more 1970s advertisements than 1980s advertisements.
And so, yeah, I think there’s totally a counter that’s the type of person who would book travel to Big Garage, the floating airship. And I’m gonna say is … ah … who is that? Okay, yeah. That is a very well-groomed Black dude with a goatee who’s bald. Who’s wearing the same orange color as the poster board is? The same orange color? Except a little bit more saturated. A little more flush? And then a brown vest on top of that with a slightly brighter orange tie. And then the same brown, as his pants. And he’s like, at a reception desk there. He has a nametag that says “Donnell.”
JACK (as Fourteen): Hi there.
AUSTIN (as Donnell): How you doin’? My name is Donnell, I’d love to serve you today.
JACK (as Fourteen): Thanks so much, Donnell. My name is … uh. My name is Lucy. Lucy Helps. And these are my friends. [pause]
AUSTIN (as Donnell): Pleasure to met you all. First time on Gift-3?
[overlap]
ALI (as Tender): Uh, yeah.
JACK (as Fourteen): Uh. Yeah. Yeah yeah yeah.
AUSTIN (as Donnell): Well, welcome! There’s a lot here to see. There’s a lot of sights, and the food is delicious! I can give you some recommendations later, if you’re interested.
JACK (as Fourteen): That would be great.
ALI (as Tender): Oh yeah, do you have a pamphlet?
AUSTIN (as Donnell): That’s exactly what I have!
AUSTIN: And like, slides over an e-ink pamphlet thing that is a touchable– it is like pamphlet sized, but it’s only one slide of paper. It’s actually smaller than that, it’s like a bookmark basically. But you can navigate it with your hand, and different bits of the transparent e-ink page change and show you stuff. And you just click on “food”. He says like,
AUSTIN (as Donnell): Just touch on “food” and it’ll show you some good stuff. [ALI laughs] And then hit “Donnell’s favorites” and that’ll show you all my favorites around town.
ART (as Grand Magnificent): Oh wow.
JACK (as Fourteen): Those look great.
ART (as Grand Magnificent): Does that change based on who’s at the counter?
AUSTIN (as Donnell): No, I made these ones. These have my special touch on them.
ART (as Grand Magnificent): Oh alright. That’s pretty cool.
AUSTIN (as Donnell): It gets boring here at the counter sometimes. So, you know. Everyone likes to tinker on Gift-3, you know what they say.
ART (as Grand Magnificent): Yeah.
JACK (as Fourteen): Yeah. Um. I’m looking to get passage onto Big Garage. I’m importing some goods and (AUSTIN as Donnell: Ooo) we’ve already got the paperwork, but there was kind of like a snag, and and they want me to sign a document onboard the ship.
AUSTIN (as Donnell): Uhh, I see.
JACK (as Fourteen): So I kinda have to be there in person, like I don’t know it’s gonna work. Like, collect the goods? And then sign the paperwork?
AUSTIN (as Donnell): Theyyy should have taken care of that one for you on their side. (JACK as Fourteen: I know!) We can bring up visitors to Gift-3, er sorry to Big Garage as a sort of a guest? Tourist?
KEITH: Walking tour? Yeah.
AUSTIN (as Donnell): Yeah, sort of a walking tour. But that is booked up solid for the next six months. You go to Big Garage to work, you go through official means normally. If you want to go up there to kinda do the tour, you gotta sign up wayyy in advance. I’m sorry to tell you that. I know y’all musta had your hearts on that.
JACK (as Fourteen): It would just be me going. It’s it’s it’s just the one.
AUSTIN (as Donnell): I get it. It’s just not a … [sighs] I mean, I could–
ALI (as Tender): We also wouldn’t be on the tour, right? Like, the tour guide can only have 10 people.
AUSTIN (as Donnell): Whoa– okay, but I can’t send you up there. That’s not on the tour. That’s not what my desk does, you have to go through official Big Garage headquarters. I wish I worked there! They make way more than me.
JACK (as Fourteen): They don’t make nice pamphlets, though.
AUSTIN (as Donnell): That’s probably true.
ART (as Grand Magnificent): Is there a waitlist?
AUSTIN (as Donnell): [doubtfully] There is. It’s very long.
[overlapping]
ART (as Grand Magnificent): How how long?
JACK (as Fourteen): How long are we talking?
AUSTIN (as Donnell): Well, six months long. If someone cancels, the next person gets notified, and if they want to move forward, they can move forward.
ART (as Grand Magnificent): So like, more people than a conceivable number of accidents could happen to.
JACK (as Fourteen): No no! You didn’t mean that. You didn’t mean that.
AUSTIN (as Donnell): That’s a strange metric to live your life by. [ALI laughs]
JACK (as Donnell): He’s a real funny guy. He’s a real funny guy!
AUSTIN (as Donnell): Oh, is he a comedian? Is he a–
JACK (as Fourteen): Something like that.
AUSTIN (as Donnell): Wait a second! You’re Gig Kep-hart!
AUSTIN: And he looks at you.
ART (as Grand Magnificent): I am not!
JACK (as Fourteen): Yes! Yes! Yes! [KEITH and ALI laugh] It’s just spectacular, isn’t it? I always get a little embarrassed for him when someone noticed him like that. [choking sounds from someone] Do you know his work? [ALI still laughing]
AUSTIN (as Donnell): I’m a big fan!
ART (as Grand Magnificent): Ooo– [ALI has not stopped laughing]
JACK (as Fourteen): Mmm, do you hear that, Gig?
ALI: [laughing] Tender is patting Grand on the shoulder. Just like, “please please.”
JACK (as Fourteen): Did you hear that, Gig? That’s just incredible.
ALI (as Tender): He’s a big fan.
AUSTIN (as Donnell): I watched those early videos when you all first made it to Quire. I saw you in them all the time.
ART (as Grand Magnificent): It’s always nice to meet a fan?
JACK (as Fourteen): That’s what he always says.
AUSTIN: Gig, are you here?
KEITH: No. I was the only one that said that I wasn’t going.
AUSTIN: Good.
KEITH: Well, I didn’t say either way, so … [ALI is trying to stifle giggles]
AUSTIN: Okay. We’re good.
ART (as Grand Magnificent): I’m … ah. I don’t know.
AUSTIN: To be clear, he just watched those videos and went like, “Oh I guess that one’s Gig” and then just hasn’t really … [ALI still giggling] Mm, he probably listens to them as podcasts at this point, y’know?
KEITH: If I was there, though, I would say to Grand– I would say, “Gig, why don’t you show him something?”
[AUSTIN and ALI laugh]
AUSTIN (as Donnell): Why don’t you take out your eye? And show me the?
JACK (as Fourteen): Can I let you in on a secret?
AUSTIN: And he leans forward conspiratorially. “Sure.”
JACK: So I’m his manager. And you know earlier? When I was talking about the stuff in the boxes? I couldn’t be specific, ‘cause I didn’t know that we were among like, friends here. But Gig’s gonna be speaking on Big Garage. And uh, he’s got his passage all booked up. You know those fancy people, they get it all done months in advance. Months, months in advance. But there’s just been a wrinkle, and I can’t get his equipment … his eye’s been playing up so we got some spares.
AUSTIN (as Donnell): Right. Right right right.
JACK (as Fourteen): And like, getting that stuff–
ART (as Grand Magnificent): Yup, can’t get enough gross eye robots. That’s me. Gig Kep-hart. [giggles]
JACK (as Fourteen): And obviously– that’s what he always says! Obviously Gig could unpack them himself, but he’s not really that kind of a person.
ART (as Grand Magnificent): No, I really hate doing any kind of work. [KEITH laughs]
JACK (as Fourteen): Any kind of work. [ALI is now also laughing] That’s what he always says.
KEITH: Ohhh. You guys suck.
AUSTIN: Oh ho ho. Well, this guy– this guy says, Donnell says,
AUSTIN (as Donnell): Oh jeez, well …
AUSTIN: I think you’re just trying to get him to do something he doesn’t want, right? Like, this is not a thing– this would get him into trouble if he did this. If he got caught. So I think this is– you tell me. What are you rolling here? What do you think that you’re rolling here … Fourteen. [ART sighs] And is anyone assisting? It sounds like Grand’s assisting here (ART: Yup) by pretending to be Gig.
JACK: Is this Sway?
AUSTIN: Yes, I think this is Sway. [reading] Sway someone with charm, logic, disguise, or bluffing; change attitudes or behavior with manipulation or seduction. Yes. I think this is Sway.
KEITH: Honestly, Grand might be interfering. [AUSTIN, ART, and ALI laugh]
ART (as Grand Magnificent): You should get a picture with me. Be sure to tag it #GigKep-heartshisfans.
AUSTIN: Great. Good. Ahhh, Grand if you’re assisting, do you want to take one stress so that Fourteen can get an extra die on this?
ART: Sure. It sure is stressful pretending to be Gig.
AUSTIN: [laughing] Uh, so yeah, I think this is Sway. Based on what you’re saying, I think that’s right … I think that’s … risky standard. The risk here is is largely about who else is watching.
JACK: And I get one bonus die?
AUSTIN: You get one bonus die. Unless you’re also pushing yourself or using a gambit.
JACK: Nooo, I think that–
AUSTIN: You have two gambits. I’m gonna put that in this page here now.
JACK: Yeah. I mean, what do folks think about using a gambit? It might be better to save for a roll on which all our stats are worse?
ALI: Uhhh yeah.
ART: What is your Sway?
JACK: Ahh, one pip.
AUSTIN: So it would be 2d6.
JACK: Plus one.
AUSTIN: True. Wait no. Only 2d6, not plus one. There’s no plus.
JACK: Oh. Yeah. I see. Oh-kay.
AUSTIN: So it’s a four, which is a limited success. On a four, there is a complication. The complication in this case is Heat. I’m gonna increase your heat by two. [ALI hisses through her teeth]
JACK: Where is that marked?
AUSTIN: Uh here. I just slid you back over to this this page here. Where … wait. Someone erased the Heat, there was one Heat here previously. Ah–
[overlapping]
ALI: Are you suuure?
KEITH: I don’t think we have access to the Heat.
AUSTIN: What, I just slid you back over to the Heat page. Y’all don’t see the Heat up top?
JACK: Oh yeah yeah yeah.
ALI: Well, we see it, but we wouldn’t delete it.
KEITH: No, but I mean we can’t touch it.
AUSTIN: By someone, I mean me. I mean I’m the one who deleted it. [ALI chuckles]
KEITH: Oh okay.
AUSTIN: So. Uh. That’s that’s– ‘cause someone got one on a previous one. So now y’all are at three Heat, which is not the end of the world. ‘Cause remember– just to explain how Heat works, Heat goes all the way up that way, there are … one two three four five six seven eight kind of dashes of Heat. And then you go up to Wanted by one. And then there are four sets of Wanted boxes. So there’s a lot happening.
JACK: Oh, we could really s– we’d have to really screw this up.
ALI: Oh, okay.
AUSTIN: Uh huh. And that’s only for Gift-3. That’s not for the whole Quire system. I might make it so that certain planets share some degree of Heat. That way you’re not– but also, fuck it. If you wanna bounce from planet to planet to avoid the fucking cops, I’m down for that.
So yeah. So I think what happens is, Donnell says like,
AUSTIN (as Donnell): I mean, I guess it is Gig Kep-hart. Kind of a big deal. Um. Alright lemme just–
ART (as Grand Magnificent): I’m not that big a deal. My fan base is getting older and older. [KEITH laughs]
AUSTIN (as Donnell): Are you callin’ me old?
AUSTIN: And gives you a little smirk. Like, a cute little smirk.
ART (as Grand Magnificent): [laughs] You know analytics. [AUSTIN laughs]
ALI: [laughing] Jesus christ.
AUSTIN: And does like, takes out his ID badge and unclips it from his shirt and like slides it– wait, he’s not giving you his ID badge! [ALI laughs] And like, slides it through a scanner and then reclips it. And then like typetypetypetypetype typetype … I guess I could just [sound of AUSTIN’s keyboard as he types] And then says “Alright.” And there’s bbbrmmrbrbr as it prints out little boarding pass for you and slides it across. And says,
AUSTIN (as Donnell): Alright, this’ll get you aboard. You have three days to use it. It’ll just bump whoever the other person is on that day. I’ve given you priority seating, so just. You know. Don’t tell anyone about this. But if you ever come through Gift-3 again and you all want to do dinner, I could take you out and show you actually like, where my favorite spots are. That would that would be really g– a selfie will help also. A selfie would be a good exchange. But I’m just saying, if you want to do dinner when you’re back down from Big Garage, I could do that too.
JACK (as Fourteen): How do you feel about a selfie, Gig?
ART (as Grand Magnificent): Oh. I would. Hmm. Yeah, it’s great. I would love to do one. Please get me good side. The one with the real eye.
AUSTIN: [laughing] And he takes a selfie, and that is where the Heat comes from. Because he’s like, “You won’t believe who I just met! Gig Kep-hart!” [KEITH laughs] (ALI: Awww) It’s in front of the poster that says what the place is called. So that is where your Heat goes up.
Alright. So Fourteen, you can now enter Big Garage. (JACK: Nice!) Nice work. Gig, what were you up to during all this? Were you and Yam doing a thing?
KEITH: Yeah, we were off taking selfies at the same time in noticeably different places.
AUSTIN: Perfect. But really. Did y’all do any legwork, were you working on anything?
KEITH: Yeah, yeah. I think that we were trying to find … we want to figure out, “hey, where should we look?” Like, we don’t wanna– Big Garage is big, right? (AUSTIN: Yes, totally.) Like, we want to find– we want to get to where this is, and get out. (AUSTIN: Yes) Not fumbling around.
AUSTIN: So you want like, blueprints or like information on that sort of thing? Where do you go, what type of places do you look for that?
KEITH: Ummm. Internet forums–
AUSTIN: So you’re literally searching through data. You’re not going someplace.
ART: Internet forums?
KEITH: Yeah, yeah.
AUSTIN: Alright. So I think that ends up being– I mean, you tell me. Are you looking through public information, are you looking through– not private information. I think public information is probably Study? If you’re looking for actual government blueprints, that’s probably a Hack.
KEITH: Umm. I don’t want to get more Heat. (AUSTIN: Uh huh!) So I think I will Study.
AUSTIN: Alright. Again, you could go out of the apartment and go talk to people and stuff, which could maybe be something that is not as risky? Because there isn’t as much of a footprint maybe? Though I don’t know, the other side of this group–
KEITH: Yeah, last time people went out and talked, we got two Heat. So.
AUSTIN: Yeah, that’s true. [ALI giggles]
KEITH: Um. I think probably the safe bet, I’m trying– I want to play it safe. Do any of the kids … maybe they have a relative that works there, maybe they had a “bring your kid to work” day?
AUSTIN: I can imagine there being a kid who’s been there before. Totally. I could imagine– we could actually just do a flashback if you want (KEITH: Okay) which I think is zero stress flashback.
Also that’s a big one, remember that y’all have flashbacks. You can spend stress or not even have to, to do a flashback any time during a mission to go back and be like, “Oh yeah, I know this because blah blah blah. Remember, I bought this gear to break through this door because because …” Spend two stress to have a flashback that’s ridiculous, that makes you prepared for this moment. So like, keep that in mind.
So in this case I think it’s a free one, because you’re still in legwork. And it makes sense that y’all had this conversation at the time. So. I want to say it’s maybe— it is it is, I’m gonna pull y’all back over to this one. Is this the one? No, this is the wrong one. It’s the co-op one, there we go.
So I think y’all in … still on the amovement park. I think maybe walking through … Jungle Land? Which is sort of like— again, four sections. There’s Rainbow Heaven, which is sort of like the center of the amusement park. There’s Speed Town, which is a racing-themed area where everyone has free-standing bumper cars all the time to get around? [KEITH laughs] Um. There’s Musicalia, where everything is designed constantly to harmonize with everything else nearby. And there’s Jungle Land. The kids fucking hate Musicalia, by the way. And there’s Jungle Land.
KEITH: Yeah, I bet it’s a lot like that Sonic level (AUSTIN: Oh yes) where all the music sounds really bad and dissonant. It’s supposed to sound good, but it just can’t.
AUSTIN: Yeah, it doesn’t work. Well, I think it’s actually the other thing, which is, they like noise rock. And this fucking amusement park is meant to be perfect, it’s meant to be exactly harmonious all the way. You’re not allowed to speak out. It’s a metaphor, man!
KEITH: I know. We moved away from the weird modular synths of yore into noise rock.
AUSTIN: [laughs] Right. Exactly. So Jungle Land used to be a big zoo. And they have like, let all the animals out at various places around this … uh continent, this planet, whatever. They’re like, “Oh yeah, this seems like the same place, this seems like the same basic type of environment. I guess these waterfowl should be near this lake.” Ah. And some of the animals have stayed behind. And they’ve converted the rest of it into like, a huge farm? So I think Vanya connects you with Keegan? Keegan Coldbreeze? Who is a 16-year old. And they are— like, very heavy tan from working the farm all the time?
KEITH: Like, tilling the fields?
AUSTIN: Yeah, tilling the fields. And y’all meet up at a slurpee place that is like, off one of the beaten paths. ‘Cause it’s still an amusement park, they just converted it into a farm? So like, you just go back to the main path, and there is just a place where you can get slurpees. So it’s the two of you plus Yam. And um. Yam signs to this kid as they approach, and Keegan says back,
AUSTIN (as Keegan): Alright, well if Yam vouches for you, I guess I’ll deal with you, Gig.
AUSTIN: And offers you a hand.
KEITH: Jesus, already? Okay. Alright. I shake the hand.
AUSTIN (as Keegan): You want blue raspberry? Or cherry? Or cola?
KEITH (as Gig): A swirl, please.
AUSTIN (as Keegan): A swirl? You want a swirl?
KEITH (as Gig): I want half blue raspberry and half cherry.
AUSTIN: And goes back there and makes you a both swirl. And also gets a swirl, by the way. (KEITH: Nice, nice.) And comes back and hands it over.
AUSTIN (as Keegan): Alright, so what do you—
[KEITH makes the noise of drinking noisily through a straw]
AUSTIN (as Keegan): Really? Like, immediately you’re slurping? Immediately.
KEITH (as Gig): It’s called a slurpee. It’s called that.
AUSTIN: “It is called a slurpee” says Yam. [laughs quietly] Yam offers you a fist bump.
KEITH: I bump it.
AUSTIN: Good. And ah, so so … Keegan is like,
AUSTIN (as Keegan): Alright. So it’s a big garage basically, is what I need to tell you. Is that what you want to know? You want to know how big it is?
KEITH (as Gig): Oh is that— yeah, how big it is. How big it is, and that’s it. All I wanted to know is if the Big Garage is big.
AUSTIN (as Keegan): It’s big. Good talk.
KEITH (as Gig): Okay. Okay. Thanks. [more slurping noises]
AUSTIN (as Yam): [tinnily] Huhaha! Huhaha!
KEITH (as Gig): Do you know where maybe this thing that we’re looking for is gonna be?
AUSTIN (as Keegan): What are you looking for?
KEITH (as Gig): That’s for you guys, by the way. The thing that we’re looking for is to help you.
AUSTIN (as Keegan): Okay. What is the thing you’re looking for?
KEITH (as Gig): The … uh … the, ah … [ART groans and ALI giggles] The. Perpetual … engine.
AUSTIN (as Keegan): Perpetual motion engine machine.
KEITH (as Gig): That’s it. The infinite power device.
AUSTIN: Can you read sign, Gig? Because I know Tender’s eye was able to.
KEITH: I don’t think that my eye can do anything special. I think it’s just a camera?
AUSTIN: Right. But like, does Gig know sign language? I guess the other question is, is this the same sign language.
KEITH: How common is sign language?
AUSTIN: I think there’s probably a bunch of different sign languages? Or there’s at least— the Divine Fleet had like, whatever the standard signing language was at the time? These kids have like a mix of NEH— er, not NEH, sorry. A mix of Mandati and Gumption’s Gambit kids. (KEITH: Uh huh.) And so I bet you they have a little bit of a twist on it? But. I mean, y’all speak the same spoken language so I’m betting that there’s some overlap there. So my question is, do you know— does Gig just know sign language from his time as like, being a video maker and being on the Fleet in general?
KEITH: I’m going to give the answer that I would give if you’re asking me if I know sign language, which is that I know a handful of words that I’ve learned over the years of just living. And I know how to spell some stuff. And that’s it.
AUSTIN: Okay. So I think that you see Yam sign because they think they’re being private with Keegan. And we the audience can tell, it’s subtitled—it’s just like, “Gig seems okay so far. I know that’s ridiculous. But he is trying to help us.” And Keegan is like, [sigh] “okay.” And says,
AUSTIN (as Keegan): I don’t know where [KEITH’s noisy slurp sound]
KEITH (as Gig): [laughs loudly] No, I’m kidding, I’m sorry I’m sorry.
AUSTIN (as Keegan): I don’t know where the engine. The specific thing you’re talking about is, but like alright. So. What you need to understand is, it’s really big in there.
AUSTIN: And Yam goes, [tinny laugh] “Hahaha! Hahaha!” And Keegan gives them a look, [KEITH laughs] like, “Are you fucking kidding me, you too?” And Keegan says,
AUSTIN (as Keegan): It’s big! Like it’s bigger than you think in there. It’s not scaled for you, it’s scaled for like … Like we landed we landed in this big dock and we got out, and we were tiny. It was like 40 feet big. It was a huge, huge hangar filled with ships and stuff— but also like, giant robots that were working on the ships. And that like— y’know, we got a tour, we saw the place where they build new communities. They just build them up there! They just build— like, “Oh yeah, here’s a new town” and then they just drop it. And they attach it to the city on the bottom. They just build them up there, and that’s how big it is! So like, I don’t know. How big is the thing you’re looking for?
KEITH (as Gig): I know that if I built a perpetual motion engine, I would make it … regular sized. Carryable. (AUSTIN: Uh huh.) If I were building it? I would make it really easy for me to carry.
AUSTIN: Unfortunately, you did not build it. And I think we then get a cut of Vanya showing you where it goes. And it is— do you remember that node that y’all installed at the very beginning of the Quire-side game? (JACK: [laughing] Oh noo!) It’s that size.
KEITH: That size?
AUSTIN: It’s gonna be a little bit smaller than that? It’s like a giant like, spinning battery thing that drops into— she shows you the the hole, the slot that it that it would fit into. And it’s big. It’s very big. You know. It’s like ah—
KEITH: It’s the size of a thing we needed a robot ox to pull.
AUSTIN: Yes, 100%. Exactly. And they’re like,
AUSTIN (as Keegan): Alright. So here’s what I know.
AUSTIN: And I think they’re gonna start explaining the blueprint view of Big Garage? Big Garage is basically a layer cake. There are a bunch of different layers. So there is a very bottom layer that is maintenance and storage. That is person-sized, right? Like, right above the hoverjets at the bottom of Big Garage, there is a maintenance and storage section, and like, people can move around there. The first floor— the actual floor above that— is mech sized. It’s 40 feet tall. And that is on one side of it, intake and diagnosis. Like, a ship comes in that’s broken. Or a building is lifted up there because it has some serious problems um, in terms of its fire system or whatever … electricity is all fucked up in there. They bring the whole building up there, and they do a diagnosis of it. Then on the other side, kinda the rear end of this big mech level, there is final check, final service, and then redeployment.? And they can kind of like, drop things back out. And above that, there’s another human-sized level. And they say,
AUSTIN (as Keegan): That’s where I used to go visit my mom. That’s where her apartment was. And it’s also where you go if you need to transport something, like if there’s something that you want to move between levels. Internal transportation and stuff like that is headquartered on that level. Then above that is another giant, kind of huge hangar, and that’s where I saw them building stuff from scratch. And so that’s like the main vehicle and construction space. And I think that’s the level where there’s also the— any sort of power or engines for the entire thing. I’m pretty sure that’s the level it’s on? I’m not 100%, but I saw a lot of signs that said “Power” and “Engines This Way.” But I don’t know if that went all the back. I don’t know for sure.
AUSTIN: They* sketch it out for you.
AUSTIN (as Keegan): This is basically where you’d go. Then above that is like, the cafeteria and a movie theater. And, y’know, if you need to go get your suit fixed or whatever.
KEITH (as Gig): A multiplex?
AUSTIN: Yeah yeah. A multiplex. You know what, I’m just gonna write down here, I’m gonna write “multiplex.” Boom. Multiplex.
AUSTIN (as Keegan): And then above that I don’t know.
KEITH (as Gig): Wow, it truly is a big garage.
AUSTIN (as Yam): [tinnily] Yahaha! Haha! [KEITH laughs]
AUSTIN (as Keegan): Yeah, above that I’m not sure. I think the very top is probably the bridge, basically? But … it could be sensors. I don’t know. And then I have no idea— I know there’s another level, because that’s how tall it was. There was another 40 feet above the multiplex. But like, I don’t know what was up there. So that’s basically that’s basically what I got for ya. Do you have any questions?
KEITH (as Gig): Um. Everybody that’s in there that’s an employee, do they get free snacks at the cafeteria? Or— like, are we gonna have to flash a badge to get some food if we stop by?
AUSTIN (as Keegan): You should be able to just go through and get some food, I guess. I don’t know. I think so? I think it’s kinda like here, where if you’re here, you’re working. And if you’re working, you gotta eat. So if you want a slurpee, you get a slurpee.
KEITH (as Gig): Right. Okay. I just don’t want it to be a security risk if anyone gets hungry.
AUSTIN (as Keegan): Right.
AUSTIN: Keegan is kind of staring into the distance. Kind of like, while talking about all that, they stopped listening to you basically. [KEITH laughs] And then comes back to you, and is like,
AUSTIN (as Keegan): Why … why Brighton, man?
KEITH (as Gig): Uhhh … he was nice. He was a nice guy. [ALI laughs]
AUSTIN (as Keegan): No, I don’t mean— that guy seems ni— was it like a romantic thing? ‘Cause that would make more sense than what it looked like, which was that you forgot that you were from the Divine Fleet. And you went from like, being a public servant to being a PR man.
KEITH (as Gig): Uhh no, we were just buddies. He gave me a pen, and then I gave him a pen—
AUSTIN (as Keegan): And then you spent like, a year working with him? I’m not judging. I want to be clear, I just don’t get it. I don’t get why you— there’s a lot … you built ice skates ice skating rinks for people who like, you never interacted with before. And like … you know what? Don’t even worry about it.
KEITH (as Gig): Okay.
AUSTIN: Yam is like … I think at this point Yam still doesn’t have a complete control over their like, voice box to the degree that— this is a very complex idea and they’re very comfortable with sign language. And like also, sign language is totally a fine way to communicate, especially since even if you don’t know it, Keegan can translate. And signs to Keegan. And Keegan says,
AUSTIN (as Keegan): Yam … Yam says that they’re not from here either, but sometimes you get new connections. And you should be okay with that. I get it, Yam, I get it. Like, y’all aren’t loyal to Earth. You’re here to help us. But I think it’s different. I don’t know. We needed a Gig Kep-hart. And we didn’t get one. If you want to know why people are pissed at you around here … anyway. Thanks for the talk and for going to get this thing for us.
KEITH (as Gig): Uhh yeah. Thanks.
AUSTIN: Yam puts a hand on your shoulder, Gig. And then like, stands up. And there’s a moment where you’re like, “Oh my god, this giant robot’s gonna push me all the way into the ground!” But like, manages to not do that.
KEITH: That’s good. I’m glad to not be pushed into the ground. [ALI laughs]
AUSTIN: You know, they’re robots built to kill things, and they’re still just trying to figure out how to just be like, not that sort of robot. (KEITH: Yeah hmm.)
So yeah, I think we jump from that back to the apartment. And we just get like, that flashback. And we just get Yam boppin’ their head to this noise punk rock. And you’re alone in the apartment with them, Gig.
Everybody else, y’all just come back with this this new information? You’re ready to? I think maybe we get the shot of— Gig, I think one of your followers on whatever the social media here is, is like, “Hey, someone just said they were you, and they are super not you!” on whatever Gift-3’s social-media network looks like. I think it’s a very photo-heavy planet when it comes to social media. On Gift-3 Instagram (KEITH: Oh it’s Instagram?) Instagram is the big one. ‘Cause it’s lots of like— you know what? It’s it’s actually less Instagram. It’s like a mix between Instagram and um … what the hell is the thing, what am I thinking of? What is the thing called where you just— photo-heavy but not your photos?
[overlapping]
KEITH: Snapchat?
ALI: Snapchat?
AUSTIN: It’s not Snapchat, no no no no. It’s not mobile. Or maybe they have a mobile app. Oh my god. It’s like a collection, you can make a collection of images that are like, inspiration—
ALI: Imagur?
JACK: Pinterest.
AUSTIN: Like Pinterest. Pinterest is what I was thinking of.
KEITH: Oh, is it a lot of like, progress shots a—
AUSTIN: Progress shots, but also inspiration shots of like, “Oh, I really want to build this new hoverboard or whatever.” And like, images of people hoverboarding. And like, planes and shit? Like, “I really like this design!” and then occasionally your own stuff mixed in there, basically. And you can kind of like, set it up for progress shots for —- like, you can set it up for basically … not just, sort of project-based … uh, I don’t need to fucking talk about what the Gift-3 social-media network is [ALI laughs], we can move on. But you get it. It’s Instagram meets Pinterest.
So yeah, I think you get the update that shows you just checked in.
ART: I probably have an app.
AUSTIN: They probably have an app. Anyway. So y’all are all back in this safehouse attic apartment, basically.
KEITH (as Gig): Yo, my Pinsta’s blowin’ up. [ALI giggles] What’s—
ART (as Grand Magnificent): Don’t worry about it.
ALI (as Tender): Fourteen is your manager, and I’m your makeup artist.
ART (as Grand Magnificent): And I’m you. It’s fine.
KEITH: I do want to say that I thought it would be really funny to hear uh, Art imitating Gig. But instead it was even funnier to hear Grand Mag doing a bad job. [AUSTIN laughs]
ART: I just, I wish we coulda done that more. I’m sure it’ll never come up again.
KEITH: Yeah, I’m sure you’ll never find a time to impersonate me.
ART: I’m— I’ve already changed the name on my character sheet.
[group laughter]
AUSTIN: Alright, so what’s up? What do you all do?
ALI: Can I say something really quickly at the top, out of character? (AUSTIN: Mhm.) That my mech literally— and I came up with this days ago— turns into a shipping crate. And I’m just putting it on the table. [laughs] (Art: Ohhh.) That might be an escalation?
AUSTIN: It doesn’t turn— it kind of like, surrounds itself with one, right? Like, it still is at the base this Angler model.
ALI: Oh yeah. Like, the the skeleton goes inside of it. But like, if you want it there, it could be.
AUSTIN: Mhm.
ART (as Grand Magnificent): Well, they have all these crate inspectors. So someone might find it. (ALI: Mm.)
AUSTIN: [tinnily] “I am worried about the crate inspectors,” says Yam. [ALI sighs]
KEITH (as Gig): Yeah. Me and Yam are worried about the crate inspectors.
AUSTIN (as Yam): They have an entire intake department. What if someone noticed that your crates are not actually crates for them?
JACK (as Fourteen): What if I. What if I go ahead, and I arrive and I show my card. And I say, “I’m expecting a delivery. It’s very important that I inspect this delivery.”
AUSTIN (as Yam): Why would they let you do that? You’re a guest, you’re going up as a guest. You’re going up as Gig Kep-hart’s manager. Gig Kep-hart is not scheduled to arrive.
JACK (as Fourteen): Well but. I was … part of the part of the lie we told— and I realize that doesn’t make it true— was that Gig’s got equipment in there that I need to get.
AUSTIN (as Yam): But he doesn’t. [KEITH laughs]
JACK (as Fourteen): No well, see—
AUSTIN (as Yam): They’ll look at the manifest, they will say, “Gig Kep-hart is not coming here, who are you?”
JACK (as Fourteen): Well …
KEITH (as Gig): Here’s an idea. Why don’t you get a job there? And then [ALI giggles]
JACK (as Fourteen): No. No no, hang on—
KEITH (as Gig): Why don’t you actually become a package inspector? And that way, we won’t have to lie about that you’re a package inspector?
JACK (as Fourteen): Okay, that’s weirdly close to both my last and current job. [AUSTIN laughs] But setting that aside … um alright. Okay. Gig’s stuff is not gonna be in the crate. So I go down these, and I’m like, “I need to go get the stuff.” And … and then I open up the crate containing Gig …
AUSTIN: This is a plan you can do. I just want to be clear, at some point you’re going to have to make an engagement roll. And during that I get to tell you how difficult it is. [ALI laughs] This thing is — out of character. You’re asking. This is an aircraft carrier. Do you know what I mean? Like, you’re visiting it under false pretences. And also you’re trying to get access to it’s … maybe you roll really well and all this is bad, like, it doesn’t matter and you manage to pull this off? But.
JACK (as Fourteen): Alright. Setting aside this plan, here’s what we know. You can all get up there inside the crates, and I can get up there inside the thing. What if we all just go up there, you all pop out of the crates, sneak to a rendezvous point, we rendezvous.
KEITH (as Gig): Now this is a thing. This is what I was trying to get at before. I don’t have a problem being in a crate, what I do have a problem with is the popping out of the crate. Is the difficult part of the plan, I think.
ALI (as Tender): It’s an aircraft carrier.
KEITH (as Gig): I think we should all get jobs— instead of being criminals, we would all just be bad at our jobs.
JACK (as Fourteen): Oh no. I only have one boarding pass, and we’re not getting jobs in Big Garage, Gig.
ART (as Grand Magnificent): Hey. Hi. I don’t wanna like, tell everyone how to do all of their jobs.
KEITH (as Gig): I have it, I figured it out. No. You go. Art, you go.
ALI (as Tender): He was a shipping guy for like a while.
AUSTIN: He was. That’s true.
ART (as Grand Magnificent): Yeah. I was a shipping guy for a while. And you know what, it really turns out that there’s always someone working somewhere on a big shipping project that would really just love someone to slip ‘em a fifty. (AUSTIN: Accurate.)
KEITH (as Gig): Bribes. Got it.
ART (as Grand Magnificent): Someone who has their wife’s birthday comin’ up, or y’know, they gotta … whatever.
AUSTIN: They would like a bribe. Right. I get it.
ART (as Grand Magnificent): They would like a bribe, as the saying goes.
JACK (as Fourteen): So but when do we?
KEITH (as Gig): [laughing] Hello, I would like a bribe. As the saying goes.
AUSTIN: They would like a bribe. It’s classic. Everyone in this universe remembers [ALI laughs] from 50,000 years ago. They’ve seen the movie, y’know?
KEITH: Yeah, it’s from the John Lemon hit, “I Would Like a Bribe.” [AUSTIN laughs]
ART: I mean, I know it’s not 50,000 years ago, but we all know “et tu, Brute.” And it’s probably the same amount of world impact, [group laughter] “I would like a bribe” as the assassination of Julius Caesar, emperor of Rome.
KEITH: I have an idea. I would like to combine Art’s idea of being ready to give a bribe with the idea … instead of us all hiding in a crate, and then Fourteen saying, “I’m Gig Kep-hart’s manager, I have to open a crate for Gig Kep-hart.” Instead of doing that, how ‘bout you guys are the crate and I’m Gig Kep-hart. And I’m saying, “I’m doing a special on Big Garage! I’m shooting a special on Big Garage!”
JACK: No. I don’t understand how that is— I’ve come all the way around on Grand Mag’s plan here. I don’t understand how that is less complicated than us slipping someone a fifty at like, a crucial moment.
KEITH (as Gig): Well, but then … so we can do the disguise plan, but if it comes to the fifty (JACK: No, I— ) then we can say “would you like a bribe?”
JACK (as Fourteen): I even know when the moment is, I even know exactly when the critical moment is. The critical moment is if one of their crate inspectors opens up the crate and you’re inside it? Then you just offer them—
KEITH (as Gig): Yeah, that’s what I’m saying.
ART (as Grand Magnificent): But it’s too late! By the time they open the crate, then you have to pay ‘em a lot. (KEITH as Gig: Oh, then they know how bad it is?) ‘Cause then they got you. (ALI as Tender: Ohhh.) Right? Giving someone a fifty like, “Hey, don’t look in so-and-so crate” is one thing. Them lookin’ at you in the fuckin’ crate, that’s when it’s, “Oh shit, this is a thousand.”
KEITH (as Gig): I think the documentary idea is pretty good.
ART (as Grand Magnificent): I don’t know, the person you’re gonna slip a fifty to is not the person who’s in charge of scheduling documentary filmmaking. That person has all the money they need. Unless you know something about their press person, y’know, they got some kids—
KEITH (as Gig): We’re not going through official channels. We can just say, we just say, “Oh I’m Gig, I’m not a criminal, I’m shooting a documentary, you just don’t know about it ‘cause you don’t get paid enough.“
ART (as Grand Magnificent): No. No. Someone on that ship is paid enough.
AUSTIN: We are on a boat! We are really badly on a boat!
JACK (as Fourteen): This is the proposal. Alright. Listen. This is the proposal. You all climb into some boxes. Some fluid boxes, I don’t— it’s part of why I’m not going in them. I transport the boxes to the big tube that goes up in the thing. And at that point, I slip a fifty to someone. Then I board the ship. We get in. We meet on the ship.
ART (as Grand Magnificent): Hey, can we go back to fluid boxes? I don’t [ALI laughs] I don’t remember that coming up before.
JACK (as Fourteen): I’m frightened of the boxes. I’m frightened of them. They’re kind of—
AUSTIN: I said it.
KEITH (as Gig): The boxes have goo so that they don’t crash in the tubes.
ART (as Grand Magnificent): Am I gonna swim?
AUSTIN: Maybe.
ALI (as Tender): Just wear a mask— it’ll be fine. It’ll literally be fine. They don’t let the stuff inside the boxes get wet.
KEITH (as Gig): Are we popping out on the ship, or are we popping out at the garage?
[AUSTIN groans loudly]
ALI (as Tender): In the— I’ll let you know. I’ll let you when. I’ll tap you on the shoulder. [JACK laughs]
KEITH (as Gig): Listen. I’ll do it. Here’s the— okay. Here’s what it is. I’m agreeing to whatever plan you think you have, but I’m really fuckin’ pissed off about it.
AUSTIN: Okay. Sounds good. Alright. So. Are we ready to do an engagement, or does anyone else have legwork to do for this?
ART: Are we gonna find out who to give the fifty to?
AUSTIN: That’s gonna be part of the engagement roll, I think. (ART: Alright.) Like, y’know. Yeah,you have a fifty you can give to somebody.
ART (as Grand Magnificent): But we’re not gonna like, do the mafia thing—
KEITH (as Gig): If this works, I’ll slip Fourteen a fifty. [ALI and Jack laugh]
AUSTIN: Wait, what’s the mafia thing?
ART (as Grand Magnificent): Where we like, go and make someone have a problem.
AUSTIN: That’s a different thing than you just proposed and that everyone agreed to.
[group laughter]
ART (as Grand Magnificent): [laughing] Sometimes you gotta make someone have a problem! It’s not often. But. Sometimes.
KEITH (as Gig): “Do you want a bribe or do you want a broken finger?”
ART (as Grand Magnificent): No, it’s like “do you want a bribe because— “
JACK: Who’s rolling?
AUSTIN: Well, we have to figure out what type of — no one’s rolling anything until we figure out what this actual engagement roll is.
ART (as Grand Magnificent): Alright, I’m discarding this plan. I hear you all that we are not that level of evil. I want to say, I’m not that level of evil! But I’ve worked with some people now. [giggles]
AUSTIN: [laughs] Uh huh. Okay. So … engagement time. I have to pull up the engagement rules again.
KEITH: I feel like we’re in a cave, and Fourteen is saying that the way out of the cave is to keep going into the cave. That’s what— I feel like that’s where we’re at.
ART: I hope Fourteen Fifty becomes a thing, because we said it at one point in here. [ALI giggles]
AUSTIN: Uh huh, good. Alright, [reading] there are six different engagement plans, each with a missing detail you need to provide. Those plans are: assault, infiltration, deception, mystic, social, and transport. Um. So. You’re gonna have to figure out which one of those this is. It could be any of the—- it’s not assault, it’s not mystic. It’s—it depends on how you—
ALI:It sounds like infiltration or transportation?
AUSTIN: Yeah, to me ...
ART: But it could be social if we wanna like, reeeeally fucking finesse the shit out of this.
AUSTIN: Yeah. I’ll say— yeah, it could be. Let’s actually just walk through this process. Once the players choose the plan and choose its detail, what you’re gonna end up doing is rolling a fortune roll? Which starts at 1d, and then that increases or decreases based on— [reading] Is this operation particularly bold or daring? Take +1d. Is it overly complex or contingent on many factors? Take -1. Does it expose a weakness or vulnerability? Take +1. Is in fact the target strongest against this approach? Take -1. Can any of your friends or contacts provide aid or insight? Take +1. Are enemies or rivals interfering? Take -1. Are there other elements that you might want to consider? Take +1 or it could be -1 based on stuff that you don’t know, or or y’know, additional elements.
So. Again, what we need is which plan and what is the detail? So I’ll read the three that you just said: deception, infiltration, and transport. [reading] Deception is lure, trick, or manipulate. And the detail you need to provide is the method of deception. Infiltration is trespass unseen, and the detail is the point of infiltration. Transport is carry cargo or people through danger, and the detail is the route and the means.
ART: That makes it sound like it’s transport, right?
ALI: I feel like we figured out the route and the means, right? (AUSTIN: Mhm.) The route is the box, the means is the bribe. (ART and KEITH: Yeah.)
AUSTIN: Yeah, and in fact it’s not infiltration because Fourteen Fifteen will be very seen. There is nothing about that is travel unseen. Right?
JACK: Yeah. I’m walking up to a desk and saying, “Hello, my name is —”
AUSTIN: Here’s my boarding pass.
JACK: Yeah.
AUSTIN: What was your name again? Lucy Helps?
JACK: [laughing] Yeah.
AUSTIN: Do you have fake— do you have documents to— I guess you have forged documents.
JACK: That’s right, I have uh uh an ID card that says “Helps” on it. [ALI laughs]
ART: That’s all it says. Helps.
KEITH: “This is a playing card, and it’s written in marker!” [ALI giggles]
JACK: It says “Helps Helps” because that’s the name of my managerial business.
AUSTIN: I see. Helps Helps. Gotcha. Great. Cool. Alright, so who is going to roll this?
KEITH: I don’t wanna touch this. [AUSTIN laughs] At all.
ALI: Fourteen …
ART: I’m willing to touch this. But Fourteen might be better.
KEITH: I think Jack should have to roll this.
AUSTIN: I think so too, because Fourteen’s the one who’s getting on this other fucking space plane. This other— and then is the one who’s going to. I think what we see at this point is like, the horizontal … like a pan shot following Fourteen Fifteen from the center of Big Garage town into like a hovertaxi to the space port into this private j— like, handing off the boarding pass, getting onto the ship, going up into the sky, boarding into Big Garage. Big Garage is huuuge! Again, it’s like 200 feet tall or whatever, something like that. And has giant huge garage doors that open and shut for the docking bays. And like, boarding into one of those. It’s all the pan shot, from the side. Getting off the ship, going and walking to where the tube is going to be set up to receive this stuff. Then we get to see what happens form their position.
So. Start with one die as a fortune roll. [reading] Then, is this operation particularly bold or daring. Or is it is it— maybe “and”, it could be both— is it overly complex and contingent on many factors.
KEITH: Yeah, it’s both.
JACK: No, it is.
AUSTIN: It’s definitely both.
JACK: [disappointedly] Ohhh.
AUSTIN: I mean, we’re not even talking about how you’re getting the crates there because I want to keep moving, but we could have a whole mini-game of like, “How did you get the crates into the tube on the other side?”
JACK: Okay, fair.
ALI: You just print a shipping label online.
AUSTIN: [exasperated] You don’t ‘cause you can’t just do that [ALI laughs] to an aircraft— to a military aircraft carrier! You can’t! You can send jeans there, but not like, a giant robot like you wanna do. [laughing] So I’m saying like, instead of doing that roll, I think it’s both “particularly bold and daring” and also “complex and contingent on many factors.” So no bonuses there.
“Does the plan expose a vulnerability of the target or hit them where they’re weakest? Take +1d. Is the target strongest against this approach, or do they have particular defenses or special preparations?” Yes! Take -1d. So that’s zero. “Can any of your friends or contacts provide aid or insight for this operation? Take +1d.”
KEITH: At the end of this, we’re not gonna be able to even roll a die. [ALI laughs]
AUSTIN: I think this is +1d ‘cause you’re bribing this person. I’m letting that happen because you have a +1 with the Mandati right now? You’re basically like—
KEITH: We’re stealing from our buds?
AUSTIN: Yeah. You have a +1 with them currently, and so I think the reason “you have contacts that can provide aid or insight” is the person who you’ve slipped the fifty too. Right? Maybe you have to slip two fifties, one for the ground level and one for the top level. Um. So that’s +1, you’re back up to 1. [reading] Are there any other elements you want to consider? Maybe a lower-tier target will give you +1d, maybe a higher-tier target will give you -1d.
KEITH: This is the highest tier target that we could possibly have.
AUSTIN: [reading] Maybe there’s a situation in the district that makes the operation more or less tricky. There is information you did not find during this legwork segment, this is definitely more difficult. You are back to zero d.
JACK: [laughing] I didn’t realize that what I’m gonna have to do here is mail a physical dice to roll20. [AUSTIN laughs] They just get one of mine.
AUSTIN: So you can now roll 2d6 and take the lowest one, because you don’t have anything left. Or you can start spending gambits and stress. I know Fourteen, you are maybe not in a place to spend stress?
JACK: I think this might be why— I’m beginning to suspect that Gig wants this roll to fail. Um.
KEITH: I don’t want the roll to fail, but I do— I feel like this is your plan, you’re puttin’ your neck on the line here, and I think that you should follow through.
JACK: [laughs] Okay.
ALI: I—
AUSTIN: What’s up Tender?
ALI: I was gonna say, I am either willing to roll, which is not gonna happen. But you can— you should take a gambit. You should take a gambit.
AUSTIN: You should take a gambit.
ART: You definitely should take a gambit.
KEITH: You should— can you take gambit and stress?
AUSTIN: You can only take one. Ah, you could. Yeah. You could take gambit and stress, which would get you up to two dice.
ALI: Is there like, an assist here? Or like stretch juice? [giggles]
AUSTIN: I don’t think— I guess so. I will let you— I’m a fan of the players, I’m a fan of the characters. I will let you assist, your robot does turn into a crate. [ALI laughs] I will let you take one stress to get another die.
KEITH: That would be— honestly, that would be a great decoy crate because if people get suspicious they can open the one with a robot in it and then go like—
AUSTIN: And go like, “Holy shit, there’s a robot.”
KEITH: I was gonna go like, “Oh that looks like something that would be delivered to here.” (AUSTIN: Mhm.) “That seems like a legitimate package.” The rest of them have fleshy human bodies.
AUSTIN: But again. So the result of this will determine the fiction of what happens, but also what your outcome is. A six is going to put you in a controlled position, a four or five is gonna put you in a risky position, a one to three is gonna put you in a desperate position. You know, theoretically you could et two sixes and end up in— you could just skip the first obstacle altogether. But. That seems—
KEITH: You’re right. We could roll two sixes.
ALI: I’ve taken the stress. I’m very nervous for Fourteen.
AUSTIN: Me too. So Fourteen are you also spending stress, or are you just spending a gambit?
JACK: I’m gonna spend stress and then try and take it easy during the rest of this mission while we try and steal a perpetual motion machine from the army.
ALI: Take the gambit instead of the stress!
AUSTIN: Take the gambit.
JACK: Oh I see, alright. We don’t get to do both.
KEITH: Waiwaiwait. We don’t get to do both?
AUSTIN: You could do both.
KEITH: Yeah, we can do both. Do both.
AUSTIN: So that would be three dice, ‘cause you’ll get one from the gambit, one from pushing yourself, and one from Tender. So 3d6.
JACK: Okay. Can you take a gambit off the list? I can’t find where the gambits are.
AUSTIN: Yeahyeahyeah. I got it.
JACK: Alright, I’m rolling 3d6 then. So I’m just like, standing in front of this tube.
AUSTIN: Uh huh. We’re gonna see what happens … That’s a five! (ALI: Mmm!) Five ain’t bad!
KEITH: I thought we took the lowest.
AUSTIN: No no no. You took the lowest when you were rolling zeo dice.
KEITH: Oh, okay. And now we have three, got it.
AUSTIN: So, mixed result. You’re in a risky position when the action starts. So, Fourteen. After we get that montage of you walking left to right across the screen in various places and boarding the spaceship and boarding this other, bigger space ship. I guess not a spaceship, like aircraft ships. And going through the … landing area and disembarking. And we see you walking through a door labeled like, “Tube Intake” or whatever. And we see like, a bunch of crates coming out of this gigantic metal tube that’s been attached to the bottom of the ship. And they’re all covered in a weird goo, they’re all covered in like a shaving gel? But like bouncy? They pop up when they bounce into a corner. And then the goo starts to like, become liquid and go through a drain. It’s very gross.
ART: Hey Austin— gross! [laughs]
AUSTIN: Ah, yeah. [JACK laughs] You see like, there’s a couple of people with ah … clipboards who are taking notes as they come in. And like, “Yup. Check. Check check check.” Um. And then your eyes go from the crates across the room of people. And there are hundreds and hundreds of these things, right? It’s a lot of stuff. Those are other tubes that are connected— er, like other branches of this tube that are running data through, and you see people like, checking the data. Quick thing, you see the picture of a big arm on one of them. That’s a thing that the audience gets to see.
And then your eyes linger on a familiar struct— a familiar not face, but a familiar figure certainly. Um. On the other side of the tube as the crates are coming up, there’s someone who’s in like a low crouch and who is rubbing his chin— except there isn’t really a chin there. It’s like … I think the way I described it was, what if there was a Companion Cube that could have its corners pulled apart and in the middle is a weird glowing sphere? That blinks whenever he speaks. It is a robotic figure who has like, tan metal plates with very visible servos and gears and wiring that’s kind of exposed. Very sharp taloned feet. Claws for hands. He used to have guns all over his body, but we are post-Miracle now. So there aren’t guns there. There are a bunch of weird gadgets and he definitely still has pistols on him. And he definitely has— he has like a weird pouch. Actually, he has like a bandolier with little half-dollar sized disks on it. And he has a— he probably has a long, like a baton stick. Like a walking stick. Almost like a giant Qtip, like American Gladiator batons but a little bit thinner. And it is Waltz Tango (Cache).
ALI: Our dear friend!
AUSTIN: And he sees you come in the room and like, stands up. Pushes himself up with his stick, tilts his head, and his head blinks a little bit. And he begins to cross the room toward you. And I think around that same time, in the background we see the crates with the remaining members of the Notion coming up. And Waltz comes over to you, Fourteen, and says like,
AUSTIN (as Waltz Tango (Cache)): God damn, I didn’t expect to see you here.
JACK (as Fourteen): I didn’t expect to see you here.
AUSTIN (as Waltz Tango (Cache)): What are ya doin’?
JACK (as Fourteen): Well … There’s multiple steps. [ALI laughs] There’s multiple steps evolving. [KEITH laughs]
AUSTIN (as Waltz Tango (Cache)): Uh huh.
JACK (as Fourteen): I mean, I can walk you— I can walk you through. It’s been a while.
AUSTIN (as Waltz Tango (Cache)): Uh huh.
JACK (as Fourteen): How long’s it been?
AUSTIN (as Waltz Tango (Cache)): ‘Bout a year. Seems pretty easy to remember that one. I’m working security. [KEITH and ALI laugh nervously]
JACK (as Fourteen): Great! Great!
AUSTIN (as Waltz Tango (Cache)): Special project.
JACK (as Fourteen): Great.
AUSTIN (as Waltz Tango (Cache)): Big deal.
JACK (as Fourteen): Fantastic. Fantastic. That’s— (KEITH: Love that. Love security.)
AUSTIN (as Waltz Tango (Cache)): [unhurriedly] If you’re here for somethin’ like what we used to do, turn around. I don’t know if you runnin’ with Castlerose anymore, but. Turn around.
AUSTIN: As he says that, behind him you see strange figures moving. That are like. They’re like big metal spiders? Like, they have giant torsos with big— what’s the back part of a spider called again? Like, there’s the thorax and the … what’s the one behind the th— is that it? Do spiders only have—
KEITH: I thought the thorax was the big part.
AUSTIN: Okay yes. So there’s a big head. There’s a there’s a— you’re right. There’s just thoraxes, they don’t have the third bit. Right? That insects do? Is that the thing?
KEITH: Ri— okay, so they have the— it’s the (AUSTIN: What’s the big bulbous part?) celphalothorax, the big bulbous part is the abdomen, it looks like? Yeah, it’s the abdomen.
AUSTIN: Okay, so they have gigantic abdomens that are ha— that are diagonally vertical? That are made of metal. And they have, like a big thorax. And then in the very front where their faces are— these are robots— they have um … what’s the thing I’m thinking of? People faces is what they have? They have humanoid faces with slits for — y’know, a ton of little slits for eyes and a single slit for where a mouth is? And they’re just like, swinging their heads around back and forth and investigating various crates in the room. And there are— in this huge garage— again, this this docking bay is filled with— this docking bay is huge all said, but even just this one little area has probably fifteen of these things.
ART: I hate this!
AUSTIN: That are like, investigating all the various crates that are coming up.
KEITH: Are those the crate inspectors? That we were maybe gonna be?
JACK (as Fourteen): Jesus, Waltz, what is that?
AUSTIN (as Waltz Tango (Cache)): Oh that’s— I think OCom brought those in. They’re called uh, ocelli. Ochelli? I— I never know how to pronounce them.
JACK (as Fourteen): I hate them!
AUSTIN: He was a little more Christian Slater before, so I gotta get back down heeere. Okay. I found him.
ART: A little more Jack Nicklson.
AUSTIN: Did you say, “I hate ‘em” Fourteen? (JACK: Yeah.)
AUSTIN (as Waltz Tango (Cache)): Yeah, I don’t work with OCom, I work with th Mandati. And uh, I’m not a fan of them either, frankly.
AUSTIN: Ah, they’re getting closer and closer to your crates.
JACK (as Fourteen): Alright, look. Here’s the thing. There are steps involved, [KEITH laughs] there are multiple steps involved. And … we worked together before. We worked together for the bosses we used to have. You know that me turning around isn’t an option here.
AUSTIN (as Waltz Tango (Cache)): It’s always an option.
JACK (as Fourteen): No. It’s not. Not in this case. Not in this case. I’ve got people that I have to look after.
AUSTIN (as Waltz Tango (Cache)): Same.
JACK (as Fourteen): What does— I’m frightened of your spider-bots. I’m trying to stop your spider-bots from hurting the people that I care about.
AUSTIN (as Waltz Tango (Cache)): Who are in the crates. I see. (Jack as Fourteen: No, no!) Hey boys, we’re gonna have … lock the room down.
AUSTIN: And there’s a yellow alarm turns on, a yellow klax— there’s no sound, but there’s the flashing of yellow lights. Inside the crates you can tell that the lights just changed.
AUSTIN (as Waltz Tango (Cache)): Fourteen. Not today. We’ve got big things coming up today.
JACK (as Fourteen): Well, I’m sure you—
AUSTIN: A second after that, the knuckle of a giant robotic finger pops up from this tube. And then another one … and then like, half a palm? And it is the other side of Gumption’s old arm is being transported. They found it in the Crash Yards, and today is the day they’re transporting it. And so there’s extra security.
JACK Fucking hell, we picked a bad day here. [laughs] Alright. Ah … so here’s the thing. I’d like to ah, can I propose like, a no-stress flashback?
AUSTIN: What is the flashback?
JACK: I want to be able to talk to the other members of the Notion before they all climbed into crates.
AUSTIN: Uh huh. Sure, but what do you want to get from it, what do you want to say?
JACK (as Fourteen): When are we prepared to go loud?
AUSTIN: This is allowed. You can totally do this for no stress.
JACK: But I want to check with the group when we’re prepared to go loud.
AUSTIN: Yeahyeahyeah. No, I know. I’m saying that conversation is totally fine. Like, I think it’s probably as they’re climbing into crates on the 50th floor, 30th of this tower. And like the wind is blowing, and you’ve just paid off half of the people you’re paying off, and y’know. You’re asking, “when are we gonna go loud?”
ART (as Grand Magnificent): Ideally, never.
KEITH (as Gig): [laughs] Yeah.
AUSTIN: Cut back, spider-bot getting closer and closer to crates.
KEITH: Um. Is is (ART softly: I’m just sayin’) is being surrounded the best time to go loud? Is that the be— is … like, we are surrounded by the worst thing I’ve ever heard of.
AUSTIN: Right, but you can’t have that part of this conversation in the flashback.
KEITH: No no, I’m out of character. This is out of character. I’m saying, even if … us deciding when to go loud is like …. This is … I’ll go back.
KEITH (as Gig): Ideally never.
ALI (as Tender): Um. Like, a signal would be great? ‘Cause you would know.
JACK (as Fourteen): Do we want to decide on that now? What’s the thing that I should shout that means everyone busts out of their crates ready to go?
ART (as Grand Magnificent): I mean, it sorta doesn’t matter. You’re not gonna like, sneakily do it. Because you’re gonna say it, then everyone’s gonna bust outta the— it doesn’t really … what I’m saying is, it could be “Now!” it could be “Jump out of your crates!”
KEITH (as Gig): It could be “We’re going loud!”
JACK (as Fourteen): Okay. Let’s do it. [ALI laughs]
AUSTIN: Is that what Fourteen Fifteen says?
JACK: I— if possible, I’d like to give a signal and make a move. But I don’t know if that’s two moves.
AUSTIN: No, that’s fine. What are you doing? Just tell me tell me what Fourteen’s doing in this moment?
JACK: Mmm, I’m looking down my items. I want to attack Waltz nonlethally, like I want to punch him … with a melee weapon? (AUSTIN: Uh huh.) Um, do we have melee weapons on my list?
AUSTIN: Um, I think you probably don’t, but I think either of the things that are currently marked blaster pistol can totally be some sort of cool melee weapon.
JACK: Cool. Alright. I have a weapon—
AUSTIN: Also we need to decide load. What is everyone’s load, before we go further?
JACK: Oh yeah, great idea.
ALI: I’m heavy. I chose heavy.
AUSTIN: Okay, well you’re in a mech. So.
KEITH: I do have one quick question. I forget what do you lose by having a higher load?
AUSTIN: It makes it easier for you to be spotted. And it makes you slower. Which means in certain fictional circumstances where it’s like, “oh you need to be fast right now,” maybe your effect will be less.
KEITH: Okay, I’m just gonna stick with light.
ART: Grand always travels light. [ALI laughs]
AUSTIN: Okay. So two lights, a normal … neither of you brought your mechs? I mean, again, we can flashback and change it at any point. But Aria— I said Aria! Holy shit! (JACK: Oh my god) Holy shit!
ALI: I just tweeted about her, it’s okay.
AUSTIN: That’s what happened, I saw that tweet that you made. Tender’s mech is here, though. Right?
ALI: I don’t think she’s in it. I think she’s in the crate with everyone else.
AUSTIN: Oh, I was imagining three individual crates.
KEITH: Oh, that’s also what I was imagining.
ALI: Ohhh. I have to tap Gig in the shoulder.
AUSTIN: You don’t wanna be in the same crate that’s going through a tube at hyper fast speeds, right?
KEITH: Yeah. No, we want our own crates packed nice and tight with some styrofoam.
AUSTIN: Yeah.
ALI: Do we— that’s a good point.
AUSTIN: Yeah, that sound dangerous. So yeah. Yes or no on the mech? Outside of the mech? Two boxes. Two crates.
ALI: I mean, if it’s individual crates, then I’m probably inside of it? But then I would have to get out of it befo— well okay, I’m inside of it.
AUSTIN: I mean. Who knows. Right? Yeah.
ART: You could fight some spiders in the mech. We ain’t fightin’ no spiders.
AUSTIN: Y’all could also have brought your mechs! But that’s fine.
ART: Grand always travels light.
[overlapping]
AUSTIN: Okay, good. I’ve heard that. [ALI giggles]
ART: It’s weird that you still ask the question.
AUSTIN: Oh, there’s another one in there, which is the Yam is also in a separate—
JACK: Oh yeah! I mean, this is why I’m fairly happy with at least considering going loud, is we have a Torch Unit.
AUSTIN: Uh huh. That’s definitely gonna be a cool thing to show.
KEITH: I … I would like to— so. Here’s my— so, the flashback system, right? If you have a thing that is meaningfully changing stuff, that’s stress, right?
AUSTIN: That’s when stress starts coming in, correct.
KEITH: Okay. I would like to flashback to setting up a distraction.
AUSTIN: Okay. Totally good. What’s the distraction, what’s the set up?
KEITH: I have what’s called a detonator? (AUSTIN: Uh huh) I want to plant that in an auxiliary crate. I don’t want it to— I want it to set off a lot of like, smoke.
AUSTIN: Okay. Sure.
KEITH: I want it to be like, “ohhhh, there’s something happening to this crate.” And I want that to be the crate that gets their attention?
AUSTIN: Sure. Take one stress. That’s fair.
KEITH: And then I want to run away.
AUSTIN: Alright— so you want … Wait, is there signal, is there a “going loud” signal first?
KEITH: I had assumed that Fourteen was … no, I’m waiting ‘til Fourteen gives the signal.
AUSTIN: Alright. You’re gonna spend that stress, that’ll happen after Fourteen gives signal and does this melee attack that they’re talking about.
KEITH: Yeah. In my head, how I want it to play out is: Fourteen gives the signal. I want them to think that the signal is to set off this crate. (AUSTIN: Got it.) That’s— yeah.
AUSTIN: So Fourteen, what do you do?
JACK: Um. [pause] Ah … a baton appears in my hand?
AUSTIN: Uh huh. Like, an extendable baton? What’s it look like?
JACK: Ah, it’s essentially like a short— it’s a baton that has been concealed around me, that I can just teleport it into my hand. This is a weapon that can teleport if it’s close to like, a bracelet or a necklace that I’m wearing?
AUSTIN: Mm, I like that a lot. Cool.
JACK: I think this thing is called a Local. (AUSTIN: Nice.) I think that Fourteen is wearing a bracelet or a hair tie or something. And the weapon can teleport within two feet of this object. (AUSTIN: Gotcha.) So it just appears in my hand. I’m gonna say, “Waltz, we’ve got to catch up later,” and hit him with it.
AUSTIN: Alright. That sounds like a Scrap to me.
JACK: Yeah, I think so.
AUSTIN: No one’s helping you on this, probably.
JACK: I mean. No.
KEITH: Would would my distraction be an aid?
AUSTIN: Yeah! I think it would. It depends on the timing on it, for sure.
KEITH: I was imagining it all happening simultaneously.
JACK: As I as I .... ah, Waltz Tango (Cache) uses he/him pronouns, right?
AUSTIN: Correct.
JACK: As I hit him, I think I shout, “Let’s do it!”
AUSTIN: Okay, smoke goes off. Take +1 from the smoke um as an assist.
KEITH: Do I take a second stress for that?
AUSTIN: No, that’s just— um. No, I think that’s one. I’m a fan of y’all. I think that’s a cool synchronicity. So what is your Scrap, Fourteen?
JACK: Um, I have one pip.
AUSTIN: Okay. So it’s +1 from the assist. Um.
JACK: Risky?
AUSTIN: And y’all have a single thing here … right? You have a single crew thing. Yes, okay. So that’s two dice.
JACK: Risky standard …
AUSTIN: Risky standard. Risky, risky standard.
JACK: Plus one bonus dice.
AUSTIN: So so yes, correct. So it should be two dice total is where we wound up with.
JACK: Alright. Let’s do this.
AUSTIN: That’s a four. Four’s not too bad here.
JACK: No, that’s fine.
AUSTIN: What— so the baton goes to hit Waltz Tango (Cache). And in that moment he holds up his hand, and you see that he has one of those same disks, like in his bandolier. Again, they’re like— I’m gonna actually say they’re like a full dollar, like a full coin dollar size. I guess a half-dollar is bigger than that, right? People who remember what coin sizes are?
[overlapping]
KEITH: A half-dollar is bigger than a dollar.
ART: A half-dollar is bigger than a dollar.
AUSTIN: Yeah. So it’s about a half-dollar size then. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen one of these, Jack. What’s the biggest coin in England?
JACK: 50p piece.
AUSTIN: What’s that look like?
JACK: It’s a big hexagonal silver coin. (AUSTIN and ALI: Ooo.)
KEITH: It’s smaller— it’s smaller than a half-dollar, I believe.
AUSTIN: Okay, so imagine it’s bigger but it’s still hexagonal. This looks cool as hell! I like this! Um. As you swing in on him, he lifts his hand up. And you can see he has one of those in front of— remember he has like, an eating tube inside of his hand? (Jack: Mmm.) So he has one of those on top of the eating tube, and you can see it pressed in from the tube on the other side that activates it. And a bubble, like a translucent bubble appears in front of him. And it’s a small bubble at first? It’s like a really— someone blew bubblegum really well. Y’know what I mean? And it’s translucent red. And he blocks— it’s like an energy shield that he blocks the baton with? And he like, makes the bubble bigger, it’s almost like an airbag, pushes away from you? But then it pops the bubble. And then he like, flicks his hand. And another one of those shield disks slides in place into his hand so he has another one ready for the next attack.
But. I’m advance the clock that is his shield because you’ve taken one of his shield disks away. He has three left because he is Waltz fucking Tango (Cache).
And then it sounded like … ah ah Gig, you’re running? Where are you running?
KEITH (as Gig): I’m fucking outta here.
AUSTIN: Where are you going?
KEITH: I’m … going … to … the … lift. Do I have time to get Yam?
AUSTIN: I think at the same time, Yam gets out of their crate.
KEITH: Okay.
AUSTIN: I think— is everybody getting out of their crate when Fourteen says “It’s time to go!” or “Let’s do it!”
ALI: Um, I have like, an action planned, but …
AUSTIN: Okay, so let’s finish, let’s do — I think Yam like, hops out, is shocked at seeing people everywhere. Actually, you know what I would love, Gig, actually is some sort of distraction roll to see if this works. Um, I don’t know what that is, really. I think it’s a Rig, I think it’s how well did you Rig this device?
KEITH: Okay, that makes sense. I got two, I got two in Rig.
AUSTIN: Yeah. Actually I would love to see that. So go ahead and give me that. Risky standard.
KEITH: Risky. Standard. Bonus dice: none.
AUSTIN: Unless someone’s helping. Or unless you’re—
KEITH: Five.
AUSTIN: So it’s a five. So I think this is just a fortune roll, this isn’t a contested action roll so that risky and standard don’t even really mean anything. (KEITH: Okay.) So what I think is gonna happen is, I think that you and one other person have enough time get out of this room while people are distracted by the smoke. But like, after that people are gonna realize this is a decoy. And everybody (KEITH: Yup) oh wait, no, this room is locked down, I did establish that. But you have enough room to get into hiding or something. Like, you run to a lift and you hit the button, and the button doesn’t do anything. Waltz put this room in—
KEITH: Oh, they locked it down that fast? Okay.
AUSTIN: Yeah. He said, “Hey boys, lock it down” and then they did. But you’re able to— you and … we definitely get a shot of you and Yam hiding behind a bunch of crates or something? (KEITH: Yeah.) Yam says like,
AUSTIN (as Yam): I’m worried they’ll see me. They’ll see me, they’ll think NEH.
KEITH (as Gig): They’ll probably not think that. They probably won’t see— we’re hiding, we’re good at hiding.
AUSTIN (as Yam): Mmm.
AUSTIN: Alright. Tender.
ALI: Um, yeah. I’ve lost positioning in this room, but the idea I had was … I wanted to maybe make a net for the spider guys? So we just don’t have to deal with them.
AUSTIN: Alright, so you just bust out of your thing with your mech. Can you describe … what your situation looks like, I’ll say? [ALI laughs] ‘Cause this is the first time this side of the game is getting one of these Angler mechs in action.
ALI: Right, okay. So my mech is … I realize I have to say this now. It’s like, it’s a crate right now, but the crate looks like it has a bunch of cuts ot it? Um, because it’s just the pieces of armour that go around like, fold into the box and then unfold. And then refold around the skeleton.
AUSTIN: And it’s still the— like, the base model is still the same type of Angler. Ah, which is like fishing mechs that everybody else has. But it has this modif— this extra box on it that then re-armours it. And like, hides it in this weird crate shape?
ALI: Right, yeah. It’s not even like an extra box. It almost looks like all of the pieces that are supposed to be there are just like, kind of sharper?
AUSTIN: Oh, interesting.
ALI: Or not chiseled down enough, or like, missing in some parts. I think that it’s like, all— kind of like a matte. But like, a plain color?
AUSTIN: What color is the whole thing? Yeah.
ALI: Ahhh. I was gonna say white, but that’s boring. So I think it’s like, a really light mint color.
AUSTIN: Ooo, that’s cool.
ALI: Yeah. With some very— there’s like, some navy parts. Like on the end of the feet or the elbows or whatever. (AUSTIN: Mhm.) So it kind of transforms. The skeleton like, folds up into the box and then just kinda sprouts out. Yeah.
AUSTIN: Right, I love it. It’s like, almost a sitting position? Or a kneeling position? And then like, stands up (ALI: Right, yeah) and like, “Oh shit, that box is not a box at all, it is this mech!” What is this mech’s name?
ALI: It is the Clearcut.
AUSTIN: Awesome. Good. [ALI laughs] And so it shows up, and what are you doing with it? You’re making a netting?
ALI: Well, so—
AUSTIN: Or you’re not even— you’re just doing that. (ALI: Yeah.) Tender Sky is doing that. Cool
ALI: Yeah, I can do that. [laughs]
AUSTIN: Uh, how’s that work?
ALI: Oh my god, I forget! [laughing] I have to roll stuff.
AUSTIN: You’re good, just scroll down.
ALI: Is it here? Wait.
AUSTIN: Yeah, it’s Way of the—
ALI: Way of the Depths.
AUSTIN: Yeah, it’s Way of the Depths.
ALI: Ah, duhduhdudh [reading] you can push yourself to draw upon the yadda yadda yadda … when you push to activate this ability, you still get one of the normal benefits of pushing yourself— wait.
AUSTIN: So yeah, you’re pushing yourself to create [reading] a tool, structure, weapons, shapes, etc. So that’s what you’re doing, right? (ALI: Yes.) And then also you get the bonus die roll. Like, you don’t— it’s not just you push yourself to do this, you also get the plus or whatever.
ALI: Okay, I was looking at this to see what I actually roll …
AUSTIN: Ah, a two—- well, it depends on what you’re doing. What are you doing?
ALI: Oh. Uh, that sounds like— that’s an Attune, right?
AUSTIN: Yeah, I think so. It’s an Attune or a Scrap, I think. Like, Attune … Attune would be about like, making it? Right? Let’s look at Attune really quick because this is a good question. Um, the writing here does say— actually it says Skirmish because this is an old copy. [reading] When you push yourself to activate this ability, you still get one of the normal benefits from pushing yourself in addition to the special ability, although you may still need to make Rig or Scrap rolls to use the tools or weapons created by the power. (ALI: Ohh.) All items count as fine items.
So I feel like Attune … Attune would be like, if you were building a building. Right? Or like, Attune would just for making it really well. But I don’t think … I think you’re just making it. You know what I mean? Like you’re not—
ALI: Okay, yeah.
AUSTIN: So I think that this is probably Scrap (ALI: Okay) and not Attune. But you’re gonna get a +1 die for it. I’m gonna make a clock for these robots ‘cause there’s a bunch of them. And they’re scary.
ALI: I would just love to have them, y’know, kinda tucked away to a corner in a big bag.
AUSTIN: Uh huh! I mean, there are like, fifteen of them in this room. So you might be able to deal with like, a bunch of them. But probably not all of them with a single roll. It is a six-part clock.
ALI: [laughs] Well like, wait. Where’s the effect chart? Because I can try to make something big enough for all of them, right?
AUSTIN: You can. You can try to make something bigger. Yeah, totally. Magnitude and quality, it’s the one right there. So yeah, you could increase your stress to try to do more here. Right? Like, they are a large gang is what they are in scale. [ALI laughs nervously] And I think with a regular push, you’d be able to effect a small gang with this big net. Right? If you took a lot more stress, you could push that further. Like, if you took another two stress, you’d be able to increase the effect to a medium gang? Which they list as twelve people. Which I guess is— it’s about there?
ALI: They’re not people sized!
AUSTIN: No, they’re bigger than that. Which is actually bad for you.
ALI: Ohhhhhhhhkay.
AUSTIN: They’re bigger than your mech. And also, your mech we should be clear is like twelve feet tall. Right? Like, it is bigger than you, but we’re not talking about Gundam size here.
ALI: Right. I was thinking of Tender was like a six. And the mech is (AUSTIN: Yeah) only slightly bigger than her. (AUSTIN: Yeah) Okay, so this would be two stress to do this as big as I would like too?
AUSTIN: On top of the two that you’re already doing for it, to do it all.
ALI: [laughs nervously] Okay.
AUSTIN: Or again, you could just make (KEITH: That’s just four) you could just make additional ro— you could just have it be a running fight scene instead of trying to sweep it all up in a single move. Right? [ALI giggles] It’s up to you.
ALI: Fair.
KEITH: Listen, you’ve only got one stress, take four.
ALI: I have two stress. Can I— can it be three stress if I use one of my crystals? From my offerings?
AUSTIN: Yeah. Describe what those are.
ALI: Um. So yeah, I have this consumable thing which is like, so when I um … oh my god, II realize that I finally get to describe this. When I described her outfit and she had those really thick like, cuffs? What that does is. Like, they were made out of metal and they’re maybe two or three inches long? And what is, is— you know in Jurassic Park [laughs] when they have that shaving cream thing? And you twist it, and then there’s little vials in there? (AUSTIN: Uh huh.) So she twists the thing, and then there’s—- it pops out and it looks like a bunch of just ink cartridges almost? But like, kinda shiny and weird ‘cause it’s weird magic stuff. [laughs] And I think she like, pulls one of them out and like, squeezes it as she’s doing the thing. And it doesn’t crack or—
AUSTIN: Oh, interesting. Does it break? What’s it do?
ALI: I think it just loses the sheen that it has.
AUSTIN: Okay. Do you drop it or do you resheath it? What’s it do?
ALI: I think I put it back in, yeah.
AUSTIN: Where it is in the mech suit, is my question.
ALI: Well, I’m in the mech suit (AUSTIN: Okay.) And it’s on my wrist.
AUSTIN: Right, but no, your hands are like in— these are like mechs that you step into. You know what I mean? These are like, you move your arm to move the mech arm because your arm is in a sheath that is the arm. D’you what I mean?
ALI: Right.
AUSTIN: It’s more exosuit than it is— so like, is there a special slot in the mech suit where you can load them into?
ALI: Uh, yeah. Then I guess if it’s, if I have to lock into whatever the mech is, and the mech pulls it out? There’s probably a mechanism that’s like … yeah.
AUSTIN: Yeah. Is there like, a little tube. Like a little— not vault, but like a little vent opens up and this crystal pops out?
ALI: Yeah.
AUSTIN: LIke an R2D2-style thing?
ALI: Right, like a little hand.
AUSTIN: Alright. Cool. So yeah, I think that reduces your stress by one. So yeah, you can take three.
ALI: [sighs, then speaks in a high anxious voice] That’s still so many!
AUSTIN: It’s still a lot.
ALI: What am I gonna do if I like [giggles nervously]
AUSTIN: And now you have to hit this, uh you better hit this Scram— er, this ah Scrap. Now is anyone helping?
[pause]
ART: I can’t imagine how.
AUSTIN: Okay.
ALI: You don’t wanna like, can someone like … no one could. But you could like, herd them a little bit. I don’t know if that works.
AUSTIN: You could herd them a little bit. That could be fun.
JACK: Could …. [pause] yeah. Grand?
KEITH: I think Grand is the only one that can— I’m hiding—
AUSTIN: Wait!
[overlapping]
ART: Aw, I’m sorry to take away from your hiding.
AUSTIN: I feel like you said,”I’m the only one— Grand’s the only one who can help—”
KEITH: No, it’s just Grand’s the only one that can help. I’m hiding. [JACK laughs] Ahhh, Fourteen is in the middle of fighting (Cache).
AUSTIN: Yeah. Fourteen, if you go to help—
KEITH: Grand I think is just standing in a box.
ART (as Grand Magnificent): So to clarify, the reason you can’t help is because you’re busy hiding. [ALI laughs]
AUSTIN: Not, not helping.
KEITH (as Gig): Hold on. Hold on. I’m only hiding because I tried to leave to go— while … listen, I got a plan.
ART (as Grand Magnificent): You’re only hiding because your running failed.
KEITH (as Gig): [momentarily flummoxed] I … [ART and AUSTIN laugh] bu— well, yeah. But we— So this fight isn’t why we’re here, you guys.
[AUSTIN, ALI, and ART laugh]
AUSTIN: True enough. What are you do?
KEITH: Having this fight was not part of the plan.
AUSTIN: No. It was not. [pause] So, does anyone help? No? If not, it’s fine.
JACK: I’ll help, I’ll help.
ART (as Grand Magnificent): No, I’ll help. It’s just— I just want everyone to know that Gig is being ridiculous. [JACK laughs]
AUSTIN: Okay.
KEITH (as Gig): Alright, well when I … fucking jet outta here with the perpetual motion device …
ART (as Grand Magnificent): So your plan now is that you get out with the perpetual motion device, and the three of us die here? [AUSTIN laughs] Three of us are murdered by spiders?
AUSTIN: Death is very hard to get in Scum & Villainy.
KEITH (as Gig): I tr— I trust you to handle it. I trust my team.
AUSTIN: Alright. So go ahead and do— also I just checked, Ali. You get to resist, you get to not have either of those two increases. You get two from those crystals. So remove one more stress.
ALI: Oh. Oh cool.
AUSTIN: I just checked our chat to figure that out.
ALI: Yay, thank you. So roll d— 2d6 right now?
AUSTIN: It sounds like 2d6 unless someone’s helping. [laughs]
ART: I did, I helped. I took the stress.
ALI: Okay.
AUSTIN: What do you do? What does Grand Magnificent coming out of the crate look like? This gooey crate. How does he how does he help?
ART: I don’t know, he’s sooo grossed out by the goo.
AUSTIN: And then sees these giant spider creatures immediately.
ART: Yeah, I don’t know. What ah, what does this look like?
ALI: [laughs] Maybe you like, shake off the goo—
ART (as Grand Magnificent): I sure hope I shake off the goo. Shaking off the goo is the first thing—
ALI: And it like, splatters towards them? And they’re like, wahh! Like cats do?
ART: Yeah, maybe I’m like,just shaking goo at the floor in front of them, and just like “Oh my god, I just can’t believe …” [ALI laughs]
AUSTIN: Alright. They get distracted and turn toward you. Or they could, depending on this roll. So yeah, take an extra die from that. And make sure to mark one stress, Grand.
ALI: Okay.
ART: I’m up to two.
[simultaneously]
ALI: 3d6
AUSTIN: 3d6
AUSTIN: Risky standard.
[pause]
ALI: I just did that, I’m sorry.
AUSTIN: That’s risky great. That’s totally fine. Five is a five. And it’s a great effect on a risky roll … Um. So I think you’re gonna get almost all of them. So what’s it look like for when you swing this thing around? Like, describe making this weird net. What does that look like?
ALI: It just appears, right? I think that’s the weird thing, is that it like. It comes up like smoke from the floor almost? (AUSTIN: Mmm, cool.) And then it’s like, a fishing net but with really small holes.
AUSTIN: What do you— yeah, and where do you, do you like, attach it to the ceiling and like scoop them all— it’s a huge net (ALI: Yeah) which is why it’s so stressful.
ALI: Yeah, yeah I thi— [giggles] that is why it’s stressful! I think it just comes up from the floor and engulfs them. And then just attaches to the top. Like a weird Spiderman thing, almost.
AUSTIN: Okay. So here’s what we get. There are, I said fifteen of them? You get fourteen of the them. And we get a shot from Grand’s perspective of like, throwing this good everywhere? And they all turn to look at him? [MUSIC begins] And then we see fourteen of them, the rear fourteen, zipped up in this bag, in this net attached to the ceiling. And then one of them goes [long cat hiss] right in front of Grand Magnificent’s face. Grand Magnificent, what do you do?
ART (as Grand Magnificent): I shoot it with my fine side arm.
AUSTIN: Oh shit, you’re spending a gun thing! Holy shit! What’s— that’s a very Indiana Jones manoeuver, by the way. [JACK laughs] Alright, what is—
ART (as Grand Magnificent): I’m sorry, I don’t know who that is. I think you mean it’s a very Grand Magnificent manoeuver?
AUSTIN: Oh my fucking god. What is … what’s that gun look like?
ART: [pause] Y’know … [pause, big sigh] I’ve thought a lot about this weapon.
AUSTIN: [laughing] Oh my god.
[MUSIC - “The Twilight Mirage” ends]