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Molly & Pyxxy do Crimes//Ep#1//Rated-X//When Molly met Pyxxy
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Molly & Pyxxy

 Do Crimes  

 

Sybil Lamb // 21.2.2.  // Episode one// RATED X                CLICK HERE FOR PART 2

The day after the last of the grey and yellow snow had melted so spring could start, this scrappy young androgeous kid with a green mohawk came into the waiting room of the art school health clinic where it was really easy to get an estrogen ‘script. She had her collar of her studded oversize leather jacket popped and shaved off eyebrows replaced with a pattern of little dots.  Some friend who went to art school had said an  old school SJW Trans guy doctor had recently gotten on their board and brought 5 trans guy nurses with him  and now they were just disseminating testosterone like a recruitment drive but also  giving estrogen  to whoever came in and answered 3 riddles correctly. She surveyed the room of the usual gender extrapolations with a look of attempted confidence. This wasn’t her first trip to the clinic! More like third.

After she checked in with the three T-guy nurses doing triage she turned around to the waiting room and was paralysed in her tracks. Out of nowhere this insanely hot fascination of a girl had taken her seat and the copy of  BULLETS AND GUNS magazine she’d left open to an article about a girl in a bikini using an RPG on that chair to indicate she was saving that seat.. She had a fuzzy hat with animal ears and giant pink sunglasses, white fun-fur coat with a bare midriff and a neon purple leopard miniskirt in just above freezing weather. A little pip squeak who you could pick up and run a block with ease. Young sun dappled pink flesh uncovered for the first spring day and completely joyfully ruined with over a dozen unskilled stick and poke tattoos. She had silver lipstick around her incredibly toothy grin. Pink hair girl  was totally smiling at noticing green mohawk girl notice her.

Green swallowed her heart back into its little nest of cigarettes and discount sugar filled  alcohol and canned meat and flipped her whole body into COOLNESS MODE as if she was like a transformer but one that was made of meat that turns into a humanoid to talk to girls. Like a terminator her brain loaded a bunch of prepared phrases for engaging this vision of perfection.  She almost said i noticed you noticing me notice you but she knew from experience that getting meta right out the gate would just kill it.


“Hey I like your eyebrows.” she said. Pink’s eyebrows were pink and carefully groomed to tiny points.
She smiled,”I like yours.” her voice was lilting and had a register inflexion like as if between telling a secret and trying not to giggle.

“Thanks,” said green. “They are not real. I just drew them there. The fact that they are dots and not a normal eyebrow, I suspect that might have tipped you off?”

Pink smiled so big she could have bit a man's hand off. “My name is Pyxxy! It’s spelt entirely with Xes and Ys.”
“Wow! Well,  Mx.
Xyxypyx,  you are Lit’rally fantastic to meet. I am Molly, Molly the Goat they call me!” she heartilly flourished herself pinwheeling  her left hand at herself.

“Pyxxy.” she sternly corrected. “Oh!  We’ve met before ! You sold me moly at the big Queer Art school solstice dance party.”

“I don't remember that. But I was in a k-hole from 10:30 onwards.”

“You are a student at MACHINE FOR LIVING INSTITUTE OF ARTS AND CULTURE ?”

I was for a third of a semester 5 years ago. But when I found out that art is actually work  it never panned out into a career so i still come here for the doctor and the food pantry free movies, free photocopies, the occasional lecture and if i need paint.”

“Oh cool, I come here for paint to but I never went here”
        “And toilet paper!”

“OOOO yes the great big rolls!!” Pyxxy mimed holding one of the giant 18 inch rolls of industrial toilet paper, her face lit up pink at her own imagination.


        In the rest of the waiting room all the gender incongruities could do was put a loud  french cartoon about 2 castaways mistaken for pirates and chased by keystone cops in a boat on the corner TV   to drown out the intense radiation emanations out of these 2 strange creatures discovering each other.

“No wait, I do remember you, how could I forget? Pink goggles, wearing a pink nightie over a rayon silver bodysuit, underwear on the outside of yer clothes. You were like a pink light fairy princess!  I’m amazed you remember me in tshirt n jeans and then I threw up in a speaker and  passed out..”

“A pyxxy. I am A pyxxy not a fairy. Pyxxyz are alien fairies.”

“You  are  fascinating !”, beamed Molly. She was crazy digging on this chic.

And then as suddenly as it began Molly was called to see the doctor. She turned to Pyx in genuine worry “Tell me you’ll be here when I get out ?! I must see you again .”

“Don't be a silly goose,” her voice burbled and giggled. She cocked her head sideways and double arched her pink eyebrows  “you can wait for me. I get shot right after you.”

“I am not a goose ma’am , I'm a goat.”  said Molly with a smooth sly voice, she winked and arched her bunch of dots eyebrows and slipped around a corner bumping disruptfully  through a gaggle of nurses.

* * *



Molly checking her winged eyeliner in the reflection of her eye in her own glasses from all the buzzzing fluorescent lights at the busy ice cream shop. It was a low rent frozen dessert chain ICECREAM PRINCE  with acne teen servers and a melting cone  in a crown for a mascot.

“So i guess that cartoon melty ice cream prince is next in line for the desert world throne?” Continued Molly on her newest theory. Pyxxy was smiling and with rapt attention so it was totally working.”still I gotta admire that they actually tout that the ice cream melts here as a feature of what's otherwise kind of an abominable reproduction of a retro diner.”

“I’ve been on premarin for a year but when i found out this place opened I switched to injections and just started blockers.” said Pyx after the server dropped off their desserts.

“Wow a year! And you’re like younger than me?”

“I’m 24 and a half”

“Whoa I’m 26 an I have only been on injections for 3 months. Before that I did birth control all the time. I used to pull elaborate stunts to score birth control, I dont take andro blockers cuz I gotta do sex werk some times. I get with a guy for spending bux every few weeks since like at least 2 years, technically before your year you transitioned before I did and I've been wearing dresses since before I dropped out of art school.”

“Yeah yeah yeah I know how transition works silly. So are you like a goth or something  ?” Pyxxy said between glubs of a pink milkshake and a banana split where all the scoops were pink ice cream.
        “I am a goth punk; a punk who goths. “ said Molly “Not a goth who punks mind you! Certainly I have friends in both camps yet I feel the distinction is important to even grok where I’m coming from. Those are outdated terms of course but It's a helpful shorthand for discussing one's alliances. Now you, my dear,  I can tell with my powers of deduction that you are a country and western raver.”
        “I’m an alien witch, you dummy “ she snorted.
        “I am a goat myself. Molly the Goat is what they call me. It's because I have a tendency to butt things, interrupt people, headbutts, butt butts, I can actually  eat an aluminum can ,  but I’m self aware about it and I’m mindful.”

“I’m called Pyxxy Styks cuz… cuz” She trailed off. “I forget.

“Because you're an alien?” Molly was shoveling in a chocolate caramel syrup nut mountain.

“Well I’m half alien. My Mom is like gaelic or Iceland or something and my dad was an alien. I grew up in the sun moon temple. That is not a joke.

“Whoa the sun moon temple? Your mom partied in ufos with the moon?
        “My mom did ten thousand hits of acid while I was in her tummy. There's only like 30 member left and everyone went insane so it doesn't matter.  Everyone was supposed to be egoless and mindless and on drugs so none of it mattered.  My whole childhood there would make a great plot for a crazy mondo shocko scandalous novel but  I don't remember it. Pyxxy
Styx; Don’t  remember.

Molly’s first thought was that Pyxx was winning this round with that back story plus she had to swing things incase she’d accidentally said something dumb and pissed her off a little. . “I’m half Biker!”

“Oh that explains why you have spikes on yer leather jacket. Where's your bike?”

“Which one?!? I got like , I dunno, five? My mom was in the Hells when she was young. My dad works for the army. He does chemical analysis of the breakdown of plastic so I'm an army brat but I have no guns or spoils of war to show for it.”

“Your mom rides a motorbike?”

“Yep, a triumph. “Rode a motorbike” to be specific ”  As an alien witch do you ride a space broom? “

“Did she run drugs and break arms as the enforcer?

“As mom always says, a lady never tells. She did ride around toppless behaving like a hooligan, I got a lot of her badass DNA obviously.” Molly flexes and checks out her own little biceps. “Can you put alien curses on me?”

“ I said I dont wanna talk about it.”Pyxxy extra loudly slurrrps the last of her extra large pink milkshake while eyeing Molly, “But yes. Yes I can. So watch it.” she hunts around her dish with her spoon for  what's left of the strawberry banana split.

Molly checks herself cuz shes nervous to fuck this up, this girl is so hot weird n cool.

“Yer kind of a bad girl ain't you? “ says Pyx looking at her ice cream, her eyes check Molly for a sec and back to her ice cream. “All being a second generation hells angel  and selling drugs for the bikers''

“Well my other half is a chemical engineer and I don't know anything about chemical engineering, but yeh, yeh I’m kind of a master criminal.”

“And you steal paint.”

“Puh-leeease! You steal paint !! And you're an alien you probably abduct cows.”

“Well Be gay do crimes !” Cheersed Pyxxy raising a spoon and a milkshake in either hand.

“I hear people say that all the time but when people say it they are always armchair gay criminals who are unmotivated to put their grand ideas in to action. '' she clasped Pyxxy by the hand and looked seriously into her eyes. “Now miss Pyxxy Styx? Are you the type of girl who says what she means? Cuz I am. “

Pyxxy leaned in and whispered to her “it’s crime time,  homo” and she hopped up and ran out the door without paying.

Molly booked it after her. Some teenager behind the counter yelled HEY and ran out into the street but by then they’d caught up to each other and veered down a maze of alleys.

* * *

THEY ESCAPED 5 BLOCKS AWAY MAKING ONLY LEFT TURNS cuz most people chasing people assume most people running away from people at random will go right 80% of the time; this factoid is one of the top 10 things criminals need to know.
        Pyxxy scampered to a stop amongst some garbage and winded Molly caught up with her. Before she could speak or catch her breath Pyxxy was wrapped around her like a pink koala climbing a tree. Pyxxy’z mouth pried Molly’s mouth open. Her tongue hunted down Molly’s and dragged it kicking and screaming  back into her own mouth.

They kissed hard, breathing hard through their nostrils while their tongues sparred.
Molly threw Pyxxy up to sit on a recycling trash can and pressed into her little purple mini skirt and lime green frilly panties. Which we covered in little kitten heads, as she had just now discovered. Pyx wrapped strong pink stripey sock legs around her, climbing on to Molly in every way.

Molly was fascinated by her own hands in the act of cupping Pyxxy’z amazingly perfect round little breasts. (Molly’s tits were tiny and conical premarin be damned). She handle Pyxxy’z small strong body like a rare artifact, like an indiana jones  cursed pink gemstone lust idol that would lead her to treasure.
        “Wow OMG . We have  totally gotta do crime again sometime.” Pyxxy’z always trembling voice warbled.

Molly cupped Pyxxy’s whole rib cage in her hands and breathed in the essence of her sweet soft round boobs under her bleach rotted orange crop top, green kitty panties brushing against the mound of the fly of Mollys extra tight skinny black jeans. Before Molly could even think  her mouth couldn't not blurt out, “OK, let's do another crime right now.”

“A robbery!” Screeched Pyxxy and Molly looked in her eyes but they both writhed from the urgent thob raging in both  in their laps.

“Whoa now, let's not go off HALF COCKED and get ourselves arrested.” said Molly, now distracted from  Pyxxy’z torso by some scheme already unstoppably in her head. “Lets see how much stuff we can steal in one night.”

* * *

Moments later Molly was at a corner store buying a single can of sardines really slowly. The cashier was like the boy version of her. Some poor schmuck who instead of having a sex change and chasing after kicks and gay sex had gone and had a lil 3 year old kid wih punk hair who was hanging out in the store like one of those stores with a cat. Except this store also had a cat. And this guy had to work there watching a little black and white tv for 12 hour days. She already felt like a shitty  liar.

“Dollar fifteen  cents” the hard working young man said.

“Hey wait I also have two 2 liters of beer in my pants pockets.” Moll said, pulling them out and thunking them on the counter. But I can't pay for them.``

“What the hell?” said the guy.
        “I put ‘em in my pants by accident cuz I was thinking of getting them...I’m sorry for the confusion. How bout we both take one and forget the whole thing.

A flash went off as the 3 year old stuck a polaroid in her face.

Get the fuck out of my store If i see you in here again I will break your arms with this bat. You dont fuck with local family buisinesses you morons. Go Shoplift at SHOPPERAMA up the street.

A surprised Pink haired girl in the background screamed and dropped a 2liter on the floor where it smashed and splashed everywhere. The guy vaulted the counter almost fast enough to grab her.

Seconds later they were a block away running and not giggling while the guy didn't chase them cuz he couldn't even leave the 3 year old and they didn't even get anything. “ I ever see you freaks again I'm gonna cave your pretty little faces in.

5 blocks away they didnt feel like humping and making out. Molly had a rising panic that she’d fucked up everything.

“What the fuck was that Molly ?? That guy almost assaulted me!  That actually almost worked and then you go act mega crazy!”

“No It wasn’t good, I got a bad feeling.. It was just some poor guy.”
        “NO WHAT THE HELL, that guy was threatening us!!! You practically turned us in. Would your biker family not beat you and piss on you for such an offense?”

“No c’mon… that was lit’rally taking beer from a baby. There was a lit’rall baby there. I don't wanna prey upon the weak. I dont gotta do that.”

“Well that's kind of lit’rally what crime is, Moll. There is no cosmic fairness enforced anywhere y’know.”  Pyx felt like she was about to make Moll cry and softened her tone, and grabbed her by both arms of her leather jacket, pushing her face in to nuzzle Molly’s neck and pull the collar up around her. “Stop anthropomorphising them! You can either take whatever they got that you don't got and make things fair, or you can fantasise about being friends with them. You can't do both.”

“No no no.. be assured I know with every fiber of my being that the world owes me a living. And that I owe myself the right to covet the finer things. But Pyxxy, I have a vision of crime, Of me doing righteous amazing ingeniously orchestrated crime. Long overdue crimes that make the world a better place. Crimes that everyone you’ve ever known will cheer for.”

“OMG you’re the nefarious doctor-no-beer”

“I actually have beer stashed under my car. All the beer you can drink. But enough of these trifles, we are master criminals,  not two bit thugs!”

“We are 8-bit kleptos!”

“We’ve already run a dozen blocks, let's walk a few more and hit the SHOPPERAMA. Your big fluffy jacket looks like a getting coat to me”

“A getting coat ?”

“A coat for getting things? ‘For-Getting’ is so very your brand.”

“Ok, On brand.” Pyx Conceded. “What's our master plan ?”

* * *

There wasn't a plan. They snaked through shopperama doing each aisle in opposite directions pretending not to know each other. While Pyxxy first went through the cash and made a big deal of looking at every lighter to decide which one of them  to buy. Molly cleaned out the whole meat sticks and beef jerky section.

The very second after Pyx paid 99 cents for a lighter really slowly,  some store-detective looking guy with greasy fingers and shabby clothes was up in Pyx’z face.

“What's that behind your ear?! Huh ?”

It was a pink eyeliner shed pretended to absentmindedly put there after trying out every single one in the makeup aisle. She jumped away from his touch.
        Molly ran down the food aisle, toppled a dozen jars of hot dog relish on the floor breaking a few of them. Her feet still in motion she circled the isle and chased after Pyx already running down the street. The private dickless guy chased them a third of a block and bent over in near cardiac arrest. He tried to shout something like I’ll lock you idiots up” but he was too winded to speak.

Pyxxy screamed in laughter! Molly was jogging with a foot long chorizo sausage in each hand taking alternate bites, “justice has been served, HOT!” she yelled at the sky waving a chorizo at it.

Molly was on top of the world. Not only did they have more snacks than they could eat, but she had totally redeemed herself by saving Pyx from getting caught. She’d got the treasure and saved the princess.

“We have run like 20km today”warbled Pyx. ”Did  you not say you got a car?”

“TO THE MOLLY MOBILE!” Molly proclaimed through a mouthful of meat pointing her sausage east.

They pretty much flew the whole 3 km to Molly's place. Running and squawking and laughing with the power of youth, lust, winning, and pockets stuffed with uncountable treats.

* * *

Down an alley between a store that sells shelves and counters for stores and another place that's either out or business or under renovation, between a construction dumpster and a corner store dumpster is a small lot with oily dirt that grass won't grow in and several dozen engines motorcycles and vehicles that probably wouldn't start if they’d even had gas in them and that's where Molly took Pyxxy and their cornucopia of meat sticks and crushed-to-powder doritos.

Pyxxy came up for air  out of their strongly pepperoni flavoured make out. “I remembered, I remembered!”
        “What ?!?!” Molly breathed for the first time in 45 minutes. The makeout had been so powerful she had forgotten that she wasn't a nebula of lights in deep space.
        “I’m Pyxxy Styx cuz I’m a Pixie with a stick !” and she flourished her little prick out of the leg of her tiny frilly green panties. She had this one  piece of expensive looking lingerie contrasting the rest of her outfit that looked like carefully curated scores from the thrift store drop off box.

Molly finally, if a bit gently, took hold of her prick after having done everything but for the  length of both sides of some rare glam rock cassette tape.
        Pyx scrambled to grab Molly
        “Wow, y’anno I would never have guessed by looking at you that you were this huge !” said Pyxxy as she
wrangled Molly’s impressive truncheon from her  super tight pants.

“Can you believe there was a time when I hated my dink?” mused molly marvelling at her own erection. “It was 3 months ago when I first applied for HRT. Then they gave me a script and a shot the same day and we’ve been fine ever since.”

“You’re not that much taller than me” smiled Pyxxy cuddling and petting Molly's utter dong of a dink like it was a pet kitten. Facing each other sitting  on their knees with their legs between each other's legs. Pyxxy rose up on her knees to maneuver herself over Molly's lap. Her tiny body with matching little prick and tiny tuft of pink pubes pointing at Molly's face. Pyx leaned over her and  messed around with the sheets covering the windows of Molly’s 40 year old station wagon she lived in. There were definitely  people like right outside the car but on a short listen it seemed they were throwing stuff in the dumpsters. Pyx wondered how loud she should/could be.

“I just got a little prick cuz I’m Little.”

“I am in awe of how little you are, you are lit’rally cute as all fuck. I gotta tell you, I have been checked and tested and I want you to know. In fact you need to know that I, technically, medically, I am a large tiny person. I am not a tiny large person. You’re smirking at me but the distinction is important and I asked a doctor so we all good.”

“Yer big dink is an optical Illustion?” Pyxxy was straddling her, her palm sized round boobs sliping agains Mollys nips.

“According to how  biology works , If I was the size of a normal man then by scale my dink would have to be scaled up to like a foot and a half long.”

“You are not that long! That would kill me”

Pyxxy clambered her legs around and perched on Molly like a bird on a tree branch. Molly’s arm around her waist and then her other arm clutching her soft warm pink sun dappled back close, smushing her back into her chest. Sweet warm flesh all over. Even at this angle Molly’s dink poked up rigid between Pyxx’z legs sticking up and out further up than Pyx’z own.

Pyxx delightedly held both their dinks together in her tiny pink fingers, playing their heads together.
“This is a cool sex move i know called the double dink kiss.” she said matter of factly while making them kiss as if she’d been putting on a play with her stuffed animals that she’d horked a blop of spit on to and made kiss.

Before long they passed out  in a tangle of mollys T-shirts smushed together on cigarette burn dotted understuffed vinyl seats smiling with the legs wrapped around each other’s dinks which stayed rock hard and nearly inside each other all the way to dawn and then more or less semi-hard till lunch when they finally got up.

~~~~

As the sun got closer to setting than having risen  they ate an endless pile  of snickers bars and pepperoni sticks that were just always at arms reach as they napped and cuddled on sweat-clammy sheets in the back of a car. They  jerked each other off twice and made out for another hour and ate a whole bag of doritos dust each.

Molly watches Pyxxy go into the house that her car is in the backyard of to where the toilet is. There’s a couple of 60 year old biker dudes drinkin beer ‘n fucking around on ebay. Like they were lit’rally drinking beer and fucking around on ebay on the back porch. Lloyd looks up briefly and nods at her.

“Nice skirt. Looks cold”, and resumed drinking a long series of small cans of weak beer.

 

“That one guy with all the tattoos is hot for a senior citizen.” says Pyxxy pulling her stripy pink socks up realy high and cuddling into her crop top sweater cuz Molly's car doesn't have heat.        

“Hey my car has heat y’know. It's not a wreck, it's an actual car.” But then when molly goes to start it she’s reminded that they ran down the battery with the radio for hours. Molly has to plug her car in. She had all the extension cords at the ready but she still had to get dressed, go outside, come back in and get undressed again.

        “I need to test the battery charger, do you like 20th century heavy metal?”

Without waiting for an answer she ca-chunks a cassette tape in the dashboard. Falsettos and noodly solos. The heater system cranks to life and blows cigarette ashes around and clears all the napkins off the dashboard.
        “Your housemates look like some biker’s grandpa”

“I'm pretty sure that's actually accurate. Floyd and Loyd were like the leaders back 26 years ago when my mom was like the Betty of those guys underlings. These days Floyd lives off selling biker memorabilia on ebay. Lloyd is not legally allowed to work cuz he's a felon. He robbed a fuckin bank in the hippy years”

“He is way hot for an old guy , I would let him rob me.”

“Do not hit on Lloyd! PLEASE do not hit on Lloyd. he Is basically my mom’s biker big brother. He’s borderline my legal-illegal uncle. He was at my first birthday party. Please, PLEASE DON’T FLIRT WITH HIM!  I got this personal rule about being too meta.. I am lit’rally begging you, Besides that what can he possibly give you that I can't,”

“Well he's got like 50 tattoos. He must have one for each year alive, Cuz that's actually a rule y’know.. And You; you  have none.“ She pretended to polish a garbled tattoo of a bow on her wrist.

        “Well You seem covered in crappy tattoos!?  You must be able to do tattoos?  give me a stick and poke!”

        “Hey! Crappy nothing! All my tats actually mean something” Moll couldn't tell how serious she was. “Stick and poke yourself!”

“I have almost 20 piercings !”
        “ Potato potato.” Pyx snorted.

“Jesus Kryst, I give up. Not only is he hot He has whatever kind of social assistance it is that  gives you unlimited cans of beer too! I know I can’t compete. Despair, just go to him. Leave me to drown my heartache in pepperoni”

“You are such a drama-llama jelly queen” giggles pyxx climbing into the front and head first into Molly's lap, she cuddles into Molly's crotch and wove her feet through the steering wheel.  Turning on the wipers making dry scraping sounds cuz there's no rain.

“You owe me a bank robbery now tho for me choosing you over an experienced bank robber.”

         “He did ten years for doing it!” Molly scoffs. “He got out  ten years ago so these days he wouldn't even J-walk!  He’ll be first to tell you he runs from trouble cuz he's too old to lose any more decades.
        “So it on you”
        “It's up to me”  Molly grasped her hand
        “It's up to us !” Pyxxy grasped their first 2 hands.
        “And I got a great idea for us tonight. You want a robbery? I’ll show you a robbery baby.” Now all 4 of their hands were holding one another.         

“The problem with robbing a bank in these days; theres cameras on everything, dollar bills got computer chips in em, the fuckin sidewalk is taping you for the cops. But I know where there's cash with no camera on it. 3rd party ATMS ! They’re ATMS administered by a restaurant or bar. Check for cameras, then bang. No one will even check the tapes till monday. We monitor an atm of a closed restaurant near where drunk people are. Lie in wait. Pick our target and pounce. We can make a gun by cutting guns out of BULLETS AND GUNS MAGAZINE and glue it to some cardboard. A fake gun and a drunk guy? Literal money printing machine”
        “Well I guess I picked the right criminal after all.”
        “Pyxxy, seriously for a second; I am so glad you picked me. I can't believe my luck to have found you. You are like all my dreams and fantasies summed up into one person and I'm afraid to pinch myself cuz I must be dreaming.”

Pyxxy jumped up and unleashed a flurry of pinches. “THIS AIN'T NO DREAM SUNSHINE! I'M REAL AND YOU’RE STUCK WITH ME!

 PINCH PINCH PINCH !!!



* * *

By the time Pyxxy is done peeing at the starbux, Molly had spray painted

                                                MxXyxy & theG04t <3

                                                               

          across 4 recycling trash cans with some orange spray paint she’d swiped from some construction guys down the street. Pyx has grabbed a tall hot water to share with tea bags from the pocket of her white wooly coat Molly had patiently talked her into ditching in a carefully selected and memorised out of the way bush so they could instead  wear disguises. She’d taken the coffee shop’s whole squeezy honey belly bear of honey and its little eyes were peeking out of her hoodie pocket.

“Aww, that's sweet!” Pyx beamed. They both wore black hoodies and black jeans. Molly in steel toes, Pyxy in neon pink sneakers cuz she only owned  pink shoes . “But it's gonna get scrambled when they put the recycle bins in a different order.”

“Damn Yer right.” Moll frowned. “ I second guessed myself. I dropped the evidence down a storm drain before remembering to number them.”

“It's the fluorescent orange that counts!” Pyx hugged her, hung around her neck.
        She sucked down a few mouthfuls of honey from the squeezy bear she hadn't offered to share so far.
We should try to do a crime that gets us money? Imagine  what if we was us right now, but with money ?
        “Oh but to get close to money we have to think like money” said Molly nasally, fiddling with her thick glasses like she was focussing binoculars, in her smart ass accent  through a knowing smirk.

“There's that anthropomorphism problem you have again” Pyxxy scolded.

Molly took her to a 3rd party ATM outside a closed Mexican grocery half a block from a liquor store. The plan is the only security was the two grocery stores cameras which they nudge crooked  with a broom.  They had spent hours creating fake guns from arts and crafts and they’d had to go shoplift mod podge 4 times cuz there never seemed enough of it. Their lumpy creations of glueing magazine ads for guns to pizza boxes.

Pyx laughed at Molly a bit for knowing a lot about and having lengthy opinions about  xacto knives for cryin’ out loud but hugged her tight and told her it's awesome that she's such a nerd and doesnt even try to hide it.

They started doing a circuit of walking around the perimeter of a circle of 4 blocks casing out the early evening traffic. Walk around the blocks surrounding the block with the atm grocery store on it waiting for someone to be going from the liquor store to the bank machine.

They decided for the 2rd time not to mug a guy cuz he had like 60 pounds on Molly. Really soon they decide most people have at least 60 pounds on Molly. However their increasing desperation to pull this off right for a change directly increases their faith in their paper-and-mod-podge guns.

        While pretending to wait at a bus stop Pyx sees a guy who's at most 175 pounds making the walk from the liquor to the grocery parking lot atm.  Looks like a skater dude pushing 30.  They kiss and pull on their kerchief masks and quietly sprint in opposite directions around the block. Molly walks up to dude first.

“Easy buddy! I don't wanna hurt ya but I gotta take your money from you. I’m taking a collection for the secret underground uprising. It's for a good cause. Not that I saw you punch in your pin code why don't you withdraw $500 for me. I dont wanna shoot you but I gotta get that money tonight. You understand.!”
        “WTF ? ARE YOU Fucking with me? “ he punches cancel and shoves his wallet deep in his inside jacket pocket.
        “Hey you fuckin pig we dont care about you! Log back into the ATM Now!” Skater dude whirled around to see some pink haired girl with a glock that was glaringly  about 150% bigger than it should be.

“OK Just give me that wallet now,” barks Molly brandishing a weird small machine gun.

“What is that,  a magazine less Thompson machine gun with a double barreled shotgun glued to it?” Asks the incredulous skater boy.

“Why yes! And the stock is from a 1906 longshoremans underwater rifle. Molly proudly begins and Skater exasperatedly puched her in the face..
        Pyxxy sees Molly snot blood and springs into action like a mouse trap and dumps a whole trash can on the guy. The guy threw the trash can off himself and it flew into Molly
gashing her open at the temple, she was squirting DNA evidence everywhere. With Molly still stunned, the guy punched her again and again.

Pyxxy was ball lighting on screaming fuck you fuck you and throwing garbage. Moll and skaters seemed to be leaving her out of their scrimmage.  She was determined to the bringer of doom, She wasnt sure about the specifics but  she thought she could at the least  contribute to the atmosphere and aesthetic. She would not have put it in tose words cuz those words sound pretty dumb and Pyxxy didnt think in words to often anyways.

Suddenly Molly the Goat activated. She hops in a circle and hop-kicks the guy backwards with both heavy black steel toe boots at once. HE went stumble flailing backwards and right through a full length window of the grocery into a stack of shopping baskets. Safety glass patters cheerfully on the cement. Horrible shrieking gargling alarms go off at maximum volume and must have disterbed everyone within a 3 block radius.

Molly & Pyxxy are 5 blocks away by the time dude stands up again.

* * *

“You see? That's why I waited til the guy was only 10 pounds bigger than me…” Grimaced Molly while Pyx dabbed at the blood with her own kerchief bandana.

“You threw that guy through a plate glass window. You were amazing” Cooed Pyxxy sweetly. Enjoying nursing Mollys battle damage. They were hiding out carefully quietly inside a cardboard dumpster.

“Dammit, it's that good crime thing again. Two days in a row I wanna be a badass, just walking around taking what I want. But at every turn I'm thwarted by people with a better handle on their ego than me.
        “I like your ego…” Pyx is kind of a bit much into watching mollys blood soak into her kerchief.

“I second guess myself and I hesitate and I anticipate failure which positively manifests it.  I want to a fearsome cold villain for you Pyxxy I really do more than anything, ut I am actually not designed for it. In so many ways I am not made for this.”

Pyxxy squished her tight “Hey we met at a medical center for people who think they’re in the wrong body remember? Cuz I dont think you're a chicken.”
        “I didn't say i was a chicken!” Molly snits.

“You are a scary crazy motherfucker. I’ve seen you run up and go crazy and attack like 3 or 4 people, fuck up a dozen jars of relish and 4 trash cans. There's like 4 cop cars looking for us right now. You are a berserker and I’m glad you're on my side!”
        “Forever! Said Molly a bit too desperately but she gulped it down.
        “You’re not not a villain! You’re not an asshole. Most of humanity are much bigger assholes than you. I am like 4 times the asshole you are. It's actually pretty weird how little of an asshole you are cuz you are totally like a dirtbag supreme.
        “You just said ‘asshole’ like 5 times, you are so horny.” Molly smirked. She sat up and peeked out the lid of the dumpster; Tons of people walking around.

“Yes, yes I am! Now this whole crime spree thing was kinda fun and had some real hot parts but we had an adventure and it got pretty chaos wild. It’s probably time to go screw around in your car and  quit while we’re ahead.”

“No Pyxxy! Not now we can't. We’ve spent a whole day planning this and stuff and I’ll be damned If I walk away when the Money in that ATM Belongs to us!  

Five Blocks away they found a Fire Department with Some Fire guys hanging out in the garage watching TV. Pyxxy wandered skittishly up to the garage door with a bunch of Molly’s blood smeared across her face.
        “What the hell, lady you all right?” all the fire men rushed over to her.

“Have you seen my kitty ? You guys help find kittys ? Have you seen my kitty?”

Molly watched from a distance as the firemen pondered this cute blood splattered girl acting weird. She was so hot and so passable when not in full alien uniform. Molly felt the rush of conflict between the  pride of how hot a girl she’d netted and sickening  jealousy of every corruption of man who dared talk to her. She made eye contact with pyx showing her the axe and zippity disappeared into a bush.

“Hey what was that” said a guy but Pyxxy tugged her green panties out the top of her jeans.

 “Oh there's my Kitties! They’re on my panties!” The firemen were speechless.

“Well glad that's figured out!”  she said, shoving her undies back in her pants and whipping the blood off her face. Suddenly she code-switches into  convincing alterna girl mall-punk between partyings.  “Just Kidding y’all!  Another Wild night ! Any y’all smokey boys got a smoke?”

One guy gave her one and another lit it. She flirted with them a glaring bit unnecessarily longer. What was she even talking about? Complimenting the hoses and saying hoses over and over again. She wasn't even conversing with them. She was just straight up chewing through nonsense innuendo and trying out different ways she could hold their attention moving her body. Molly felt a slow boil freak out anger down in the ashtray of her chest. Pys was flaunting her passbleness, pushing her luck pushing boys buttons. She was so angry. Why was Pyx doing this when she doesn't need to? Just when Molly was starting to think she was gonna have to go cause a disturbance to get Pyx outta there she bounced out  skipped up to the pre arranged meet spot exhaling cigarette in a long thin stream from her little “O” lips

        Just as well that they’d killed a bunch of time cuz now the original grocery store had a sheet of plywood where the window had been and the glass had been mostly swept up. Molly & Pyxxy were both a bit let down by the lack of police tape or blood stains but they'd soon fix that.

Powered by the last of her adrenalyn and hell bent determination to make tonight work or else,  Molly axed the front panel off the ATM in 85 seconds of swinging. Pyx extracted a black box that definitely had 20$ bills in it and they were five blocks away in a seeming instant



Molly went out of her way to double back and return the blunted mangled  fire axe cuz
<nerd:voice;>“We can't steal from firemen”</nerd:voice;> and then  flagged down a cab outside a sports bar and told the driver “Just go to the end of the old town expressway.”

“That worked out in the end!” Molly cheered, finally relaxing for the first time in hours.

“The customer care part; now that was admittedly kinda bad.  However  I have renewed confidence now and think our in person donation collection scheme could still have merit?. We just need to do market analysis next time.”

Pyx was impressed by Molls ability to just talk in code like that. “Like we gotta do this in a rich neighborhood maybe?” she suggested.
        “You might think so but rich neighborhoods have way more security guys wait closer by. “Molly posited, “In fact that is like the whole reason there even is a police force.”
        “I'm not talking about one percenters. I mean like the top 10
percenters.”
        “Well I guess we could
case some spots out and do some recon maybe.” She Looked at Pyx expectantly  “I mean if you're into that.”
        Pyx grappled their lumpy heavy  trash bag out of her way and nestled in to Molly,  “I wanna plot and scheme with you Molly. You are a total psycho and also kind of a nerd and that's a recipe for criminal mastermind if I ever heard one.”
        “Heh yeah, Yeah! Told you I was a criminal mastermind. “
        “Wait did we just confess to crimes in front of the cab driver?”
        “Well shit now we did.”

At the stop light they bailed out of the cab without paying and ran through a dozen peoples back yards in a convoluted pattern that went north and then east and then south then east and finally north. No one was chasing them so it worked.

* * *

Soon they are back at Molly's car. There was a tape of just different covers of Let's Lynch the Landlord playing on repeat and there were 20 dollar bills everywhere. The girls ran the engine to maximum heat the car and sat around  in their undies and got ten pizzas delivered with garlic bread, spicy wings, loaded poutine, a caesar salad, veal parmigiana sandwiches, two 2 liters of cherry vanilla cola and a pecan pie.

Even Floyd and Lloyd who were 48 cans deep on the back porch were slurring wasted reminiscences into their personal large pizzas the girls had got them. Floyd wanted cheese  with nothing and Loyd, meat. All the curtains on Mollys Mercury were drawn flimsily tight and there's laughter and bumping around that the whole alley could absolutely hear.


        “Omg that pizza guy’s face OMG!!” Giggle Pyx again.
        “Pyxy I caught myself just now cuz I almost said I cant believe how wonderful you are…” said Molly gesturing with a slice of spinach bacon parmesan.

“How wonderful we are,” Pyx corrected briefly coming up for air from inhaling a triple cheese calzone.


        “But in fact I can very well believe how wonderful we are. We are not only amazing but we are long over due to be amazing! Our right to the opulence deserved by such living goddesses on earth as beautiful as ourselves has been denied us for too long. And I swear upon the infinite endless fascination of your unearthly  beauty, Mx Styx, that by all that by being gay and doing crime at the criminal mastermid level, we shall rise and surge forth to reclaim the thrones of goddesses and rebuild man in our image and stricken all who that…”


        And Pyx is like “
So are you gonna victory fuck me or what?”


        Molly is like “my good lady let me assure you that I can do nought else after tonight but serve upon your little pirate booty the most jolly of rogerings. In fact from dawn and forward this alley shall forever sing the ballad of Molly and Pyxxy, the longest loudest most brutal symphony of squeaking automobile suspension that ever…”  

'' Too slow!” Screams Pyx toppiling Molly in a tackle.

 “Somebuddys getting topped right now so bite it.”  Pyx shoves Molly into the foot wells. She  squirms around her body like a jelly fish until their legs are tied and knots and Pyx thrusts her lil dinky into her up to the hilt. Pyx has to attack Molly’s ass at a 90 degree angle so she can shove her whole lil dink in there.  

Molly screams, “Pyxxy, OMG!  I fucking love you!“

She couldn't have seen Pyxxy weep one tiny happy tear joy which squirted out of her at such force it went in the front seat somewhere.. She felt a thrill inside her self so wonderful, this wasnt just hot gay crime sex, this was something amazing important and filled so many uncertain emptiness inside her and she hadnt even taken her turn to get fucked yet.

 For hours They threw eachother all over the  folded down back seat which was covered in pizzas and they were covered in sex juices  and pizza suddenly everything was wonderful and just gonna get more better and they had eachother and together they where the most amazing thing that had ever happened...
Pyx was so delighted  that she came super hard.

“I fucking love you too Molly!”, she squealed out between her lil’ pink squirts.

They were  so loud that neighbours definitely heard a bunch of everything .

 Molly came hard just from feeling Pyxxy’z shuddering prick blasting in her  and before they let exhaustion defeat them they squirmed around so their sweaty breathless faces pressed together they breathed eachother hot breath lying completely spent with  $20 bills and mushrooms and hot peppers stuck to their bodies their eyes using up the last of their energy mentally envisioning happiness rays shooting at  each other. They  each let exhaustion claim them a comfort they hadn't known they’d been lacking but forever onwards now could not live without, each admiring  the other lost in the fantasy of every fantastic thing they would get away with together.

* & *

CLICK HERE FOR PART 2

Molly & Pyxxy Do Crimes Part 2
The Cum car train sexin’ chiken finger rave  

   VALENTINES DAY 2021

THAT'S THE END of the story of how Molly & Pyxxy Met !

But It is hardly the End of their Crime Spree!

IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF

MOLLY & PYXXY DO CRIMES

A 12 part web series for 2021

The girls are hell bent for robbery They do any and everything and run 5 blocks a few times  to get it right.  They'll attempt to  rob a new car dealership, a liquor store, even a little kid for their bike, and then go through not 1 but 2 chase scenes to get good enough at crime to finally get  recognition they covet as villains. Learning to become stick up kids is one thing but what will happen with their Lusty preoccupations as they Hang out and get to know each other better? They also throw a rave that's so high, it's squeaky.

Join my PATREON  to get the tip off on when the next big caper goes down !

Sybil lamb says: DO NOT ATTEMPT TO REPLICATE ANY OF THE CRAP MOLLY AND PYXXY DO!!!. M&P OBVS LIVE IN A TOTAL FANTASY LAND. IN REAL LIFE YOU’D GET CAUGHT IMMEDIATELY.

All crimes in this story are fake, any resemblance to real crimes is like a coincidence.

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She liked to consider herself just over the county line of gender presentation, flaunting that she’d got away with it,