Record of the Council of Lynd

CENSUS OF THOSE PRESENT

Present at the Council:

His Most Venerableness, the McQueen, Karsten Armstrong,

Then the Cardinal, numbering one,

His Eminence, Cardinal of North America, Isaiah Schroeder,

Then the Archbishop, numbering one,

His High Excellency, Archbishop of Minnesota, Timothy Boersma,

Then the Bishops, numbering two,

His Excellency, Bishop of Marshall, Zechariah Bergjord,

His Excellency, Bishop of Ghent, Daniel Van Keulen.

THE OPENING OF THE COUNCIL

Celebrated under His Most Venerableness, the McQueen, Karsten Armstrong, in observance of the traditions of those sent before us, on the thirtieth day of the month of January, 2019.

He said unto them: “May peace be with you.”

They answered: “And with your card decks.”

REGARDING SMATCH-IT

The venerable Council of Lynd, by the authority invested in them by the Most Venerable Majesterium, presided over by the McQueen, hath ordained and decreed that Smatch-it shall be considered the predecessor to the Band of Thieves, and that the origins of the Band of Thieves can be traced back to the authority structure found in Smatch-it, specifically, the Natural Order and the Original 4.

REGARDING THE THIRD VICAR OF THE MAJESTERIUM

The venerable Council of Lynd, by the authority invested in them by the Most Venerable Majesterium, presided over by the McQueen, hath ordained and decreed that Zechariah Bergjord, Bishop of Marshall, shall be the third vicar of the Majesterium, in order that the local councils may pass Canon Laws.

REGARDING THE ARTILLERIZATION OF DOUBLES

The venerable Council of Lynd, by the authority invested in them by the Most Venerable Majesterium, presided over by the McQueen, hath ordained and decreed, by a vote of 4 to 1, that doubles shall not be artillerized into the Canon Law.

REGARDING THE ORIGINS OF DOUBLES

The venerable Council of Lynd, by the authority invested in them by the Most Venerable Majesterium, presided over by the McQueen, hath ordained and decreed that the origins of doubles can be traced back to Isaiah Schroeder, Cardinal of North America.

REGARDING WOMEN IN THE PRIESTHOOD

The venerable Council of Lynd, by the authority invested in them by the Most Venerable Majesterium, presided over by the McQueen, hath ordained and decreed that women shall be allowed into the priesthood.

REGARDING EXCOMMUNICATION

The venerable Council of Lynd, by the authority invested in them by the Most Venerable Majesterium, presided over by the McQueen, hath ordained and decreed that “disbanding” shall be a Canon synonym for “excommunication”

REGARDING CANDIDACY OF BOXXY FOR THE MOST VENERATED SAINT

The venerable Council of Lynd, by the authority invested in them by the Most Venerable Majesterium, presided over by the McQueen, hath ordained and decreed, by a vote of 3 to 2, that Boxxy shall not be the Most Venerated Saint of the Band of Thieves.

REGARDING ARTILLERIZATION OF SLEEPY BEAR AND MR. CHUBBIES

The venerable Council of Lynd, by the authority invested in them by the Most Venerable Majesterium, presided over by the McQueen, hath ordained and decreed that Sleepy Bear and Mr. Chubbies shall be artillerized as the patron Saints of sleep.

REGARDING LENTN’T AND ST. SCHNUCKLES’ DAY

The venerable Council of Lynd, by the authority invested in them by the Most Venerable Majesterium, presided over by the McQueen, hath ordained and decreed that Lentn’t shall be celebrated from the eleventh day of February until the eighteenth day of February, with St. Schnuckles’ Day being celebrated on the last day of Lentn’t.

REGARDING THE ARTILLERIZATION OF SVEN AND ‘BASTION

The venerable Council of Lynd, by the authority invested in them by the Most Venerable Majesterium, presided over by the McQueen, hath ordained and decreed Sven and ‘Bastion shall be artillerized as the patron Saints of good boys.

THE CLOSING OF THE COUNCIL

All members of the Council then did the formal exit procedure, circling and repeating “May peace be with you, and with your card decks” three times, thus ending the Council of Lynd.