I Didn’t Mean To
CHARACTERS:
CATHY: A tired woman that wants happiness within her relationship.
CONNIE: Is Cathy's consciousness and represents her sanity spiraling. (Connie would be represented by multiple actors if this was a full on play. They use she/they and he/they pronouns depending on the scenes. The actor would represent the current thing clouding/haunting Cathy's mind. For example, this Connie would look semi-similar, not the same actor, to Cathy’s husband and would appear as male.)
SETTING:
Cathy's House. Her house is full of furniture that doesn't match. It is late in the evening.
(A crash is heard off stage. A beat of silence. CATHY comes on stage walking backwards. She's mortified.)
CONNIE: You actually did it…
CATHY: W-who are you?
CONNIE: I'm your consciousness but you can just call me Connie, it's easier to remember.
CATHY: My…. that doesn't….. That can't be…
CONNIE: I wouldn't say that.. You're not really in a good state of mind.
(There's a beat of silence. CATHY’S in thought.)
CATHY: No….NO!NO!NO! You-You're messing with me!
(CATHY grabs a nearby fireplace poker.)
CATHY: You saw what I did! You're judging me!
(She aims it at CONNIE, CONNIE is unaffected.)
CONNIE: How can I judge you? I am a part of you.
CATHY: Stop with the lies! Everyone lies!
(She slams the fire poker down. She's sobbing.)
CONNIE: It seems you're not getting it…
(CATHY looks at him. She's agitated. Small beat.)
CATHY: No.. I understand…. You are an unlucky thief that robbed the wrong house at the wrong time!
CONNIE: What are you talking about?
CATHY: It's the only thing that explains why a stranger is in my house! You were robbing me and you saw what I did and panicked!
CONNIE: I told you what I am. My name is Connie. I'm your consciousness.
CATHY: There's no way you're my consciousness! That's not possible.
CONNIE: Well…. I'm here aren't I? Believe it or not… It doesn't affect me..
(They walk over to the side CATHY came from. Looking backstage as if they are looking at what CATHY did. CATHY is in thought.)
CONNIE: Wow… this is a mess..
CATHY: It had to be done.
CONNIE: Keep telling yourself that.
CATHY: Shut up…
CONNIE: Excuse me?
CATHY: Be quiet….. I know! You're an angel or.. Or a demon here to punish me…
CONNIE: So you're saying you're guilty and you did something wrong?
CATHY: No!
CONNIE: Then why would I be here to punish you….
CATHY: You're starting to annoy me.
CONNIE: Trust me, the feeling is mutual.
CATHY: Just leave me alone!
CONNIE: How do you suggest I do that?
CATHY: Just leave! Walk out of my house like nothing happened!
CONNIE: But something did happen.
CATHY: I'm trying to let you go! Act like nothing ever happened and leave!
CONNIE: I can't… I'm not an actual human being.
CATHY: Stop with this nonsense! This is your last warning! Go now before you make me mad!
CONNIE: Last chance? You sound crazy…
CATHY: Crazy…. Oh.. I'll show you crazy!
(CATHY charges at CONNIE. She hits him.)
CONNIE and CATHY: Ow!
(CATHY and CONNIE hold the side of their heads.)
CATHY: Why did that hurt me?
CONNIE: Like I said…. I'm your consciousness…. If you hurt me… you hurt yourself.
CATHY: You're my….. Why am I…… what is happening?
CONNIE: You're spiraling…
CATHY: I am not!
CONNIE: Whatever you say.
CATHY: —Why are you here?
CONNIE: To help
CATHY: Help? Help how? I'm just fine!
CONNIE: You're spiraling….
(Small Beat. CATHY is slightly weirded out by CONNIE.)
CATHY: I..I just had to make a big decision that's all.
CONNIE: A big decision… That's one way to word it.
CATHY: Whatever, you wouldnt understand…
CONNIE: I mean… I am a part of you.. So I understand a bit.
CATHY: Then you know why I did what I did.
CONNIE: No.. I don't.. I understand your feelings and anger, but your reasoning makes no sense to me.
CATHY: I'm making perfect sense! Everything I did was done on purpose, and was the only choice I had left!
CONNIE: Not true…
CATHY: I had no choice!
CONNIE: You had a choice Cathy!!!
CATHY: No.. I didn’t… you don't know..Who are you to tell me what I have the choice of?
CONNIE: I'm basically you on some level… I know your behaviors and morals… Iusually know why you do certain things…. But now I’m confused and you're spiraling!
CATHY: How dare you!?
CONNIE: How dare I? How dare you do this to him!? Wake up Cathy!
CATHY: I'm not spiraling! This is the clearest my mind has ever been!
CONNIE: Clearly it is not.
CONNIE: You had no right.
CATHY: HE LIED TO ME!
CONNIE: You had no right!
CATHY: He had it coming!!! After all these years…..
(She grabs some old towels in the room and tries to clean herself off.)
CATHY: He broke my heart, I had to do this.
CONNIE: You didn't have to do anything.
CATHY: I had to! He hurt me so badly… that… that I couldn't see anything but red!
CONNIE: He hurt you, but you still wanted to be with him?
CATHY: I loved him!
CONNIE: Was that love?
CATHY: Yes.. no.. no it wasn't…. It's all his fault!
CONNIE: Is it all his fault?
CATHY: YES! I loved him, and.. And he never truly loved me back!
CONNIE: He never loved you, that's what you think?
CATHY: He never did… someone that loves you… wouldn't hurt you..
CONNIE: But did he hurt you? I honestly think you didn't give him the chance to prove himself innocent.
CATHY: He wasn't innocent! I could see it in his eyes. All the lies he told me…. I could see them!
CONNIE: Lies or not… He's gone now….
CATHY: I never have to deal with him again.
(Small beat.)
CONNIE: I still can't believe you actually did it.
CATHY: Me either…
(She chuckles.)
CATHY: Oh but I got him.
CONNIE: What is wrong with you!?
CATHY: Nothing’s wrong with me!
CONNIE: Do you hear yourself!?
CATHY: I didn't do anything wrong! He deserved it!
CONNIE: Did he deserve it?
CATHY: Yes!!! He lied!!!
CONNIE: Did he deserve it?
CATHY: Yes!!
CONNIE: But did you have proof?
CATHY: I- I didn't need physical evidence to know what was happening!!!
CONNIE: Do you think your actions were justified without evidence that he lied to you?
CATHY: Yes!
CONNIE: So that's it… the guilty have been brought to justice.
CATHY: Yeah… something like that…
CONNIE: And what do you plan to do now?
CATHY: Now?
CONNIE: Yeah now… You can't just act like nothing happened for the rest of your life.
CATHY: Oh my god you're right!
CONNIE: I know I am. I'm Connie, your consciousness.
CATHY: I need to get out of town. I need to pack, oh god.
CONNIE: That's not what I meant.
CATHY: Get out of my way.
(CATHY pushes past CONNIE. They are blocking an old suitcase.)
CONNIE: You won't get away with it.
(CATHY stops.)
CATHY: How do you know I won’t.
CONNIE: Well on average there's about a 40 percent chance that someone will get away with it. But that's factoring in that they planned it and knew what they were doing. So your percentage is lower.
CATHY: Well…. That doesn't mean it's impossible!
(CATHY starts packing the suitcase sporadically.)
CONNIE: No, but you're his partner. You will be missing… you're definitely the first suspect. You won't get away with it.
CATHY: Look, I'm tired of your smart percentage talk. Can you just be quiet!
(Small beat. CONNIE wonders if he should talk.)
CONNIE: What if he was really innocent?
(Small Beat. Will she respond?)
CONNIE: He didn't deserve this.
(Small beat. Why isn't she responding?)
CONNIE: How could you have done this….
(Small beat. Is she ignoring them?)
CONNIE: You said if you truly love someone…. You would never harm them-
CATHY: Shut Up, shut up, shut up!
(Small beat. There it is.)
CONNIE: Are you afraid to come to terms with what you've done?
CATHY: I'm not afraid!!! I did it, didn't I?! I was the girl people said that wouldn't hurt a fly, and I did it!
CONNIE: Say it…. What did you do?
CATHY: I won't.
CONNIE: Say it!
CATHY: No!
CONNIE: Cathy! Say it!!!
CATHY: I’ll say it! I'll say what I did! I just couldn't take it anymore….
(It finally hits her. She finally takes in what she has done. Her movements slow.)
CATHY: I- I killed- I killed my husband. Connie, I killed- ...Connie?
(CONNIE is gone. CATHY melts to the ground. She is truly alone. She rocks back and forth on the floor holding her knees close.)
CATHY: Oh my god what did I do…. I didn't mean too… No….. I'm sorry……. I'm so sorry.
(Sirens can be heard. It's over. CATHY lets out a sad pitiful laugh. Sirens continue. A car pulls up outside. The lights fade. Blackout.)