Neon lights lit up the city as I walked through the busy streets, my jacket pulled close to my body. Normally I’d just be sitting at home but after having been laid off from my job, I had nothing better to do. I knew I’d be able to find a new job, unemployment would keep me up, but I really liked that job… Being let go from it so suddenly sent me reeling and made me wonder what the real point of my life even was, if I could just be thrown out that easily…

All the work days had blended together, I just lived with it, accepting the simple ongoing tide of mediocrity. Yet now the mental fog was rolling over my mind, and I was left to wander with no clue as to where to go or what to look for. I stopped at a crosswalk, took out a cigarette and lit it, I had never been a big smoker… Hadn’t had one in ages, but now it was the only warmth I had on this night, even if it felt like the smoke was closing itself around my throat.

Was I cursed? Did my life have… Meaning? I took a drag as I walked across the sidewalk, the bustling streets and rumbling motors of cars being the only music to my ears. With my job gone, the usual ebb and flow of my daily life was gone, ripped out from under me, with no way for me to be ready for it.

I stepped onto the next sidewalk, and for a moment, a trick of the light maybe, I saw a flash of pink hair. A woman, no doubt… She seemed to be watching me? Yet she was gone the second I blinked, must just be my imagination. I remember when I wrote stories, I focused way too much on them but ultimately they gave me happiness. People liked them, and I liked writing them, yet as life got in the way more and more I realized they were giving me tunnel vision and I had to cut back. How long has it been now…?

I passed a hotel, and was reminded of home. I could go back and get some sleep, but the thoughts that buzzed around my brain were bugs that would only get louder if I stopped allowing myself to be distracted. I started feeling droplets of rain fall from above, I pulled the hood of my jacket up and kept walking. The river wasn’t too far from here, I could sit there and try to relax.

As I headed to my new destination, I received a text message. It was from a friend of mine from my old job, “Are you okay?”

My smile was bittersweet, at least one person still cared. “No, I’m not well.” Then I kept walking, would I ever feel ‘well’ again? Not today, not tomorrow… Not for a while now, I think. I finally reached the river and sat on a bench, the rain had made everyone else clear out, yet here I was. My cigarette wasn’t going to hold in this weather, so I tossed it. Borrowing sanity from those things was going to just kill me faster than this depression would.

I stood, slowly strolling to the edge as I stared down at the river. So serene and peaceful, I wondered if I had missed my chance to really live life. My old one was dead now, I was stuck in between the blinks now. Should I be gone by the time the world looks again?

These thoughts were interrupted as I heard a voice I recognized, soft and feminine yet deep and gruff at the same time. “Yo… It’s been a long time.” The woman stepped next to me, placing her hands on the railing as she stared out at the river.

“Calliope Mori… Haven’t seen you since that day.”

The day she traded mortality for the life of a reaper.

“I know… The underworld is a busy place.” She was wearing her street clothes, not her ‘reaper’ getup. I only saw the day she left. “Wanted to check on you, I heard what happened at your job. I know how much that place meant to you, didn’t want you doing anything stupid…” She sighed, leaving the unsaid hanging in the air. I knew what she was talking about.

Mori was never the kind of person to brazenly show her concern for people like that, it was strange. I remember when we were both younger, she was even rougher than she was now. Yet anytime she’d push me over and accidentally hurt me, she’d be the first one fussing over getting me to feel better. I had a crush on her back then, I interpreted her friendship and concern as something more. After she accepted that once in a literal lifetime offer, though, I knew it was never going to happen. I always remembered those days, how she told me she’d come and see me again some day, there would never be a ‘goodbye’ for us. I could hold onto my delusional fantasy so long as she never said those words. Yet, as time passed, it became more and more of a pipe dream. I realized she was destined for far more than I ever was.

“Been looking for you all night, you know.” Calliope continues, “You’ve been moving around a lot… Hard to keep track of. Do you want to… Talk about it, maybe?” She looked at me, when I reached for my pack of cigarettes, she snatched it, “...Don’t start that shit. It’ll kill you. You got a death wish or something?”

She’d know, wouldn’t she?

“It’s complicated.” I sighed shakily, the rain was picking up and it made it harder to hear my own thoughts, “Just… A lot of stuff on my mind, I’d been putting off so much and when I lost my job everything I’d done wrong in life came back to me. I don’t think there’s any coming back from this…”

“Don’t talk like that!” She responds in a sharp, yet gentle tone. Placing her hand on my shoulder, she continues, “Your life hasn’t even really started man… You’re on the first page of a long novel and you’ve already written enough to want to cash out? Listen, I know there’s more… Tell me.”

I didn’t want to open Pandora’s box, the lid was closed tight for a reason. “I don’t know if I can…” Yet I couldn’t stop myself from thinking back to the old days of school and of no cares in the world.

I was a social outcast, convinced myself that nobody wanted to be my friend so I never even tried. She was the one who broke through, said she wanted to be my friend and she wouldn’t leave me alone until I was. She never did, from that day forward. It took awhile, but she wore me down. Eventually, we were like old friends… She was the reason I was able to pursue a job in the first place, she showed me how I was just tricking myself about other people’s opinions on me.

Every time she smiled, laughed, hugged me, or did… Anything, it made my chest feel tight. I knew what I wanted but I didn’t have the willpower to try and grab it. Instead, she left to become a reaper while I stayed here and joined a regular company. I rode that ship until they sunk it and made me realize I’d been coasting into territory I didn’t want to be in. Now I was stranded.

Days and months vanished while I dedicated myself to working, unaware of how everything I wanted in life was becoming more unattainable with each passing day. Instead I allowed myself to believe I was doing the best thing for me, that my dreams were just silly child’s play. Now they were gone… My mind only showed me what I wanted to see until it was too late.

Calliope dropped the smokes into the river, before turning to me. “I still want to see what you’re hiding from me. You used to let me see your innermost thoughts all the time… Now you’re closed up like a lockbox, but… You’re not going to last long if you keep ignoring what you’ve wanted in life so long.” She lifted her hand, holding it out, a serious yet gentle look in her eyes, “Come with me. You can stay with me at the Underworld, we can find you a new job down there, and when you’re ready to show me what you’re hiding from me… I’ll be there. Come with me, and live again… Please.”

The offer shocked me, I’d never even entertained the idea of going down there, it was supposed to be dangerous for regular humans. Yet, with her… It was everything I could ever want. I reached my hand out, “Wanna see it again…?” I whispered, before clasping her hand, “...Fine. This time, you’ll get to look for yourself.”

Dark magic covered the two of us and we disappeared from the city, the smokes floating down the river, forgotten. Putting an end to my cursed night.