The next morning I awoke in good spirits, despite feeling incredibly tired from my lack of sleep. I had fun with Matsuri yesterday, and now I had a solid course of getting her primed and ready to ask that girl out. It took only the course of yesterday to go from planning to get Matsuri to leave me alone to becoming friends with her. All in all my original plan was flawed from the start, I didn’t count on Matsuri being such an honest, nice, and likable person who just really didn’t know anything about people or personal space. After getting dressed and going through my daily motions (except using cold shower water instead of hot like I usually do) before grabbing my bag and heading out to school.

The trek to school itself was uneventful, I didn’t spot Matsuri on my way up the hill so I had to assume she was already inside. However I did meet up with Izuru, and we walked together the rest of the way to school. Everything was the same as yesterday, that is to say, everything was batshit insane, but I just had to accept that was what passed for normal here. I spotted a girl with long pink hair wearing what I could best describe as an attempt at looking ‘gangster’ getting into a rap battle with someone, that was interesting but really not my thing.

That ended up being nothing compared to the fact that as soon as we walked in we saw a girl who looked like she should be in elementary school rather than high school dart past us while cackling madly. Shortly behind her were some pissed looking ‘Oozaru police officers’ as I’d learned they were called. I didn’t have the slightest idea how these guys were legally allowed to call themselves police officers and imprison people in place of the actual law enforcement, but again, nothing is normal. Nothing!

When we arrived at my locker, I began to get out my books and decided now was the least awkward time to broach the question I needed to ask to my feminine friend. “So uhhh…” I put another book in my bag, “Izuru, you don’t hate Matsuri or anything right? Want the best for her and all that?” I glanced over at him, to see confusion on his face. He responded nonetheless.

“Uhh, well yeah I want her to be happy. Everyone deserves to be happy unless they’re like… A scumbag.” Izuru shifted on his feet, “Soo… Why do you ask?” I could tell he already sussed out that I was going to ask him for help with the Matsuri situation, but he had no idea what was coming next.

“So, Matsuri likes this girl a lot right? Well, the problem is she has no experience talking to girls and is afraid she’ll mess it up.” Izuru seemed skeptical, I could understand that, believing Matsuri would get nervous would be alien to people who hadn’t seen what I’d seen. “So… I wanted to help her learn to talk to girls… But we need a training dummy for her to practice on…”

“Nuh-uh. Nope, ain’t happening.” Izuru shook his head and waved his hands in front of him, “Listen I can live with the fact that I look feminine, but using that to make me a training dummy for Matsuri’s love quest? That’s so weird! Why don’t you just do it yourself?!”

“Eh? M-Me?” I looked around, this idea was the last thing on my mind. “C-Cause it’d be awkward?!”

“What about it being me makes it less awkward than if it’s you?!” Izuru pointed out, and I hated to admit that he was right. I rubbed my forehead, taking a deep breath and a heavy sigh. “Well, I guess I can do that… I would like your help with something else though.”

Izuru raised an eyebrow, and I continued. “If you’re not going to help here, would you be willing to look into the girl she has a crush on? Blonde, in a different class, apparently she’s a transfer student… I don’t have a lot of info but if you ask Matsuri’s friends they’re bound to know more.”

Izuru seemed like he wanted to decline, but then he sighed. “Alright, I can do that much. After all, your quest is noble and true.” That was one hell of a flowery way to put it, but I just accepted it. Izuru continued, “During lunch and after classes, then I’ll ask around, learn what I can. I may not be able to approach her friends directly during lunch but if I can single them out when they’re doing something else in that period I think I can get them to talk.”

“...Just don’t make it look weird.” I responded, finally my bag was set. “You got everything?” Izuru nodded, we had stopped at his locker earlier. “Alright, then I guess we should head to homeroom before something insane happens to us.”

We were able to duck and dodge through the utter pandemonium of the morning hours before school. That girl was still running circles around her pursuer and I spotted Marine talking with some people I didn’t recognize, she waved at us but didn’t approach, which I personally thought was a blessing. When we got far enough, I assumed we were in the clear. I stopped paying as much attention to my surroundings and instead started talking with Izuru.

However before much could be exchanged, we both heard a girl’s voice, “NE NE NE! YOU TWO!” A strange looking girl ran in front of us, she had long blonde hair and green eyes. Her outfit reminded me of the kind of thing you saw anytime Octoberfest was brought up on a tv show or the internet, very… German. She was incredibly cute, but I wasn’t really able to focus on that as she declared, “You two will join the Nene Husband club! I need more for my collection!”

Izuru and I shared a look, before I made the mistake of speaking up. “Uhh, no thanks I’m already in a club.” I had to at least try and be polite, this place seemed to have a lot of very… Out there people in it. Maybe she’d be receptive? I would soon find I was nothing but an ignorant fool relishing in my bliss of misunderstanding.

“NO, NO! JOIN MY CLUB!” She grabbed my arm and started trying to drag me, terrified I looked to Izuru, who grabbed my other arm and tried to keep me from going anywhere. “YOU’RE COMING TOO!”

“I’M NOT LETTIN’ HER TAKE YOU!” Izuru declares dramatically, while I personally was desperately trying to get free of this girl’s surprisingly iron grip. Izuru’s grip was equally strong, to his credit, and I felt myself at risk of losing an arm.

“Please! I’m already in a club! You can’t marry someone who doesn’t want it, that’s illegal! Can’t we just be friends?!” I literally knew absolutely nothing about this girl and she was already trying to get me to become part of what, her harem?! I, Ren, am no one’s side bitch!

That was when a new person joined the fray, a blue haired tall and curvaceous girl whose voice was gentle and kind, yet somehow also incredibly erotic. “Nene… You know you can’t force people to join your club, besides, you already have so many members. You keep trying to collect more hoping that one of them will eventually actually go out with you… Isn’t it time you try something else?” It was then that I noticed that this girl also smelled like liquor, not a lot but enough to make it notable.

That being said, it didn’t escape me how this girl just politely torched the one trying to kidnap me. Hell, I felt bad after that one. The girl named Nene dropped my arm and sighed, “Ne… I know…I’m sorry you two, I’ll leave you alone.” Now thoroughly defeated, she left, with the blue haired woman following not far behind.

I checked my arm to make sure it wasn’t pulled out of the socket, before looking at Izuru, “Thanks… I actually feel kinda bad for that girl now.” Poor girl was just incredibly lonely and overcompensating by making boys join her ‘husband club.’ Now that was a new level of cope…

Izuru nodded, “She’s been making guys join her club for awhile now. While she has a loyal club base, none of them are actually interested in dating her and just hang around because she’s cute and is entertaining to talk to. It’s kind of paradoxical, you’d think a whole swarm of teenage boys would want to be dating her, and yet she’s so nice and wholesome that nobody wants to be the one to risk compromising that.”

Huh.

Rubbing my wrist where she gripped me, I turned and we started back towards homeroom, this time thankfully without incident as we arrived within the safety of the classroom. Once we took our seats, I let out a sigh of release. I began taking out my books, “So… How exactly do you teach someone how to talk to a girl?”

Izuru shrugged, “I dunno. I get hit on by more guys than girls these days…” He shook his head, “Even then I have no idea how one girl would ask out another girl. Maybe look up some videos or articles on it?”

“Guess that is the best choice I have.” I resign myself to doing a bunch of research on how a girl can ask out another girl, and general advice for actually talking without sounding weird. If you had come to me a month ago and told me I’d be doing that, and all in service of getting a girl who asks way too personal questions to date some random girl I’d never met, I’d have laughed in your face and probably asked if you were drunk.

No going back now though, I reached into my pocket and slipped out my phone. Diligently, I started digging up all the best articles I could find, and rooting out the ones that I thought were giving shit advice. This occupied me until Matsuri entered the room, “KONBANWA-SHOI!” She yelled at the top of her lungs,, instead of flirting with the girls first she came over to me and wrapped her arms around my shoulders, giving me a very tight hug that caused me to damn near squeak with how tight it was. “Gah… Matsuri, too tight!” Mercifully, she released her grip, then she gave me a closed-eyes grin, before skipping her way over to the girls she usually talked to, Fubuki among them.

“Well she’s definitely taken a liking to you.” Izuru noted with a teasing tone, smirking as he watched my face heat up, “I thought the goal was to get her to date the girl she had a crush on, not get her to have a crush on you.”

Blushing a bright red, I shook my head, “Oh shut up! It’s not like that at all! We’re just friends, and I’m helping her get with the person she wants to get with! Just cause she’s really affectionate doesn’t mean she’s in love with me, I think I’d be able to tell if that was the case!”

Izuru laughed, “Relax, it’s just a joke. I didn’t expect you to get so defensive over that! Hmmm…” Rubbing his chin, he seemed to be thinking about something, before waving it off, “Eh, ignore me.” Then he took out his notebook and began jotting some things down, from here they looked like music notes. Huh…

Now that it seemed the smear campaign against me was done, I went back to my research. Matsuri soon came and sat behind me, thankfully she just texted me instead of attacking my back this time.

“What’re you looking at?”

“Articles full of stuff that I’ll use as teaching material for you. Izuru bailed on being a test dummy, but he’s going to help by gathering information on the girl you like and reporting it back to me. So instead, I’ll be training you and be the practice dummy.”

I heard Matsuri cough behind me, it seemed like she had snuck in a juice box or something and accidentally drank it down the wrong pipe. Innocent fumbling mistake, nothing more.

“Oh, okay! That works for me.”

Putting that behind us, Matsuri didn’t actually text me anything again for the rest of homeroom, which was a bit odd considering her but I certainly appreciated that I was able to focus on what Aruran had to say today. In his same usual cheery tone, he greeted us, “Ohayo! Right, some news… As I’m sure most of you are aware there will be a dance next week, overlooked by the headmaster himself. Food, drinks, music, what else do you need? Of course, the usual suspects will be running the show while the headmaster watches from behind the scenes…”

A dance huh? That worked perfectly! I added a note about it in my phone, where I kept all relevant documentation relating to ‘Project Matsuri.’ It was mostly an assortment of information I had extracted from the articles I’ve read so far, but also just some notes I made from observing Matsuri’s behavior and mannerisms.

-Cute

-Upfront but shuts down when faced with someone who reciprocates their jokes or flirting.

-Cute

-Loves manga

-Loves video games

-Cute

Yeah… That was accurate.

Homeroom soon ended and we were thrust into the monotony of classes once again. Matsuri eventually started texting me again, talking about Apex and if I wanted to play once school was over, along with other assorted random questions and comments. Honestly, it felt like Matsuri had trouble not talking to someone, I didn’t even find it particularly annoying. Yet it still interested me that she seemed unable to really sit still, she had to either be talking to someone or doing something. Odd.

Eventually it was time for lunch, everyone started filing out. Izuru began the mission I assigned him while I made my way to the cafeteria. Matsuri followed me this time around instead of going to her friends. I was about to ask her why, but then she spoke up, “So what exactly are we going to do for training…?” She seemed apprehensive, looking bashfully as we walked. “Am I g-gonna have to kiss you?”

“W-What?! N-No! Of course not!” I shake my head, “We’re just practicing your talking skills, nothing else!” The mere suggestion made my face burn bright red and my heart rate to skyrocket. “W-Why think that, anyway?” I had to ask, it was a big jump in logic.

“Well…” Matsuri stopped walking, pushing her fingers together as she looked down at the ground, “...I figured if you were going to teach me how to talk to girls, you might teach me… More than that.”

Eh? EH?! “W-W-What?! I-...” I shook my head, “Th-There’s some things that just can’t be taught by someone who you’re not in a romantic relationship with! Kissing is one of them! You gotta be on your own with that one!”

She looked a bit worried at that, but seemed to understand. Unimpeded, we finished the rest of our walk to the cafeteria. Once we got there, she started towards the table her friends frequented, but hesitated, looking back at me. “You can come join, if you want. We’re not against having new people join us!”

I contemplated it, Izuru was already going to be there. Having two of us there at the same time would probably be a bit of a waste of manpower. “Nah, I’m gonna take my lunch outside today, I’ll join you tomorrow though.” She accepted that and went to join her friends, while I went and got my food before heading out to eat.

On my way through the halls to take a seat out front, I was initially trying to just filter out the hallway chatter, however my ears must have detected they were talking about someone or something I knew about.

“...The guy?”

Eh? What guy? I shook my head. It’s probably nothing.

“Yeah… Just a day…”

Guy, just a day… Trying to piece this puzzle together made me stop in place, trying to more keenly listen to what I was hearing

“With her…?”

Her…? Who her?

“Shame…”

“Waste that he’s already friends with Menhera Matsuri…”

My blood ran cold, suddenly the whispers felt infinitely more hostile than they did before. I pushed on, reaching my destination and sitting down on one side of the steps with my tray set on the elevated concrete next to me. I was replaying their whispers in my mind, over and over like a broken record. That word lingered in my mind…

Menhera.

An ugly word, broadly referring to people who need mental health care or are receiving it. In some modern circles it was reclaimed as a sort of cultural movement for mental health care. Here, in a High School filled with insensitive teenagers…?

Well, it didn’t mean anything positive… Despite losing my appetite, I tried to at least eat some of my food so I didn’t feel extra hungry by the end of the day. However I could only manage a few bites. My mind was still stuck on the whispers, was she that notorious? Was that the reason why nobody talked to her other than her close friends? I sincerely hoped she didn’t know about this, she was already fragile. If she heard about how poorly the student body really saw her,

Maybe I’d be able to help her change that with my training? Not that she herself needed any changing… Just a bit of direction. I took my tray and dumped the food into a trashcan before heading back and leaving the tray at the cafeteria. The rumors seemed to have shifted away to something else for the moment, so at least the hushed malice was not directed at anyone related to me anymore.

Once I got back to the cafeteria, I saw that lunch was in full swing. Izuru seems to have singled out one of the girls, and was talking to her away from the pack, the woman looked rather… Mature for being a student, with short blonde hair and purple eyes. I didn’t question it, if she was one of Matsuri’s friends then it was all going according to plan.

Speaking of Matsuri… She spotted me not long after I came into the room and waved me over eagerly, the rest of her friends looking to see who it was curiously. That made me feel self-conscious, but I couldn’t exactly ignore them anymore, so I headed over. Matsuri patted the open seat next to her, so I took it. “Ohayo.” I wave to everyone.

Fubuki was a familiar face at least, and was the first to speak, “Aah, Ren. Good to see you.” Polite and friendly as always.

Next up was another short-haired blonde woman, this one with orange eyes that reminded me of Halloween. She was also beautiful, and wore a very skimpy outfit. I couldn’t see all of it since she was sitting opposite me, but the short black top reminded me of the outfit I saw that Nenechi girl wearing earlier, but even skimpier. She grinned at me, and I could have sworn her fangs were longer than average human canines. “Ohayo, Ren-kun. My name is Mel. A pleasure.”

Already Ren-kun? This girl was incredibly friendly and a bit intimidating. A confusing set of features. With those two out of the way, I looked to the final member of the group. Dressed in Lolita garb with a… Bandage over one of her eyes, pretending to be an eyepatch? This girl screamed ‘Chuuni.’

“Haachama-chama!” She greets me with an exuberant and uncontrolled energy that made me even more intimidated than Mel. “Great to meet you!” She seemed nice, although even if her words were benign, there was a look in her eye that told me to be wary of her.

With introduction out of the way, Matsuri throws her arm around me and questions, “I thought you were eating outside today? I’d given up on introducing you to them until tomorrow!” She… Wanted me to meet her friends? That was a bit much, it’s not like we had any sort of special relationship other than ‘teacher and student’ in one instance, I suppose.

“Eh, I wasn't actually that hungry.” I lied, I don’t think I could ever bring myself to tell Matsuri the things I heard. Sure, it was just a word, but considering how fragile she already was, I don’t think this would do anything but make her feel worse. “Decided I’d come back here and hang out until lunch ends, if I get hungry later I’ll just get some food on my way home.”

Everyone bought that, thank god. Matsuri’s arm was still around my shoulder, so I glanced at her. “You cozy like this, Matsuri?” The immediate response was her removing her arm and placing both her hands in her lap while looking down shyly. We all shared a laugh at her expense, not out of malice but out of friendship.

After a few minutes of pouting, Matsuri rebounded and proceeded to ask me yet another off the wall question, “So Lotus-kun, how do dicks work?” She asked me that while I was sipping on some juice, which caused it to catch in my throat and cause me to start coughing. The other girls started laughing at my misfortune while Matsuri seemed genuinely curious, I knew she was socially inept but still…

After coughing and sputtering for a second, face beet red from both the question and the choking, I shook my head and scolded her, “Matsuri! That’s not something you just ask someone in public like that-” I realized what she would add next, so I continued, “-Or in private either unless you know them really well! You can just look up porn or anatomy or something if you’re really that interested.”

Matsuri seemed disappointed, but I wasn’t going to tell her anything like that! I decided to change the subject for her, “So about what you were saying about Apex…” She and I began talking about balancing, characters (who’s broken, who’s our favorite, etc) among other related topics. Weirdly, we had almost completely forgotten about the others during this conversation. I knew they were there of course, but they didn’t… Say anything, at least not out loud. Instead they started texting each other and giggling, not a good sign, but not one I could confront without evidence they were talking about me or Matsuri.

We got so caught up talking that the bell rang indicating the end of lunch and I realized I’d completely forgotten to ask one of the other girls about Matsuri’s crush. Fuck. Oh well, we had plenty of time, and this kind of situation was part of why I had my comrade-in-arms to help me.

He texted me everything he extracted from that girl, Aki he said her name was, and I added the information to my notes. Sara Hosikawa, transfer from Nijisanji High, generally a nice, very upbeat and happy girl, is sort of aware of Matsuri’s existence, but mostly as just a loud and funny girl with no filter. Well, it was better than thinking negatively about her, of course I’ll never know how she really feels about Matsuri until I start sussing out more information, most likely I’ll need to talk to her on my own. It didn’t have to be complex, just a passing conversation, get to know what she’s like and everything. There was no information on the type of people she liked… God I hoped she liked girls too, if she didn’t this game would turn out rigged from the start.

Classes started again after that, the banality of the day suppressed by thinking more and more about how I was going to track down and talk with this… Hoshikawa girl. She couldn’t be that hard to spot, could she? I had a general idea of what she looked like, at least, even if it was incredibly vague. I wasn’t sure if it would be considered creepy to look up her social media like that, I’m sure a girl like her used at least one of those places right? I stayed away from them mostly, so I wouldn’t have the first idea of how to hunt down one of those profiles. Especially if she had some weird username.

Instead I just busied myself with classwork and once the class day was over, everyone got up and started leaving. Matsuri said she’d meet me at the club room, although the look of anxiety and anticipation written all over her face was impossible to not notice. I just felt a massive blob of anxiety, Izuru however seemed to be smiling as he and I walked to our lockers together.

“So, about that time huh? Gonna teach her to meet people and flirt with them without coming off weird? You’ve got your work cut out for you.” Izuru scratched his chin, “While you do that, I’ll start looking more into the girl we’re looking for so that maybe we can figure out what she likes out of a person. If she ends up being straight, well… That’s just gonna end badly for Matsuri.”

I was relieved that he still wanted to help despite not really having to, “I know… It’s been on my mind all day. It’s one thing if she’s bi or gay but we have no idea if she even likes girls at all!” If she doesn’t, I realize, I will need to find a way to break the news to Matsuri before she gets her heart broken. “I appreciate your help, Izuru. If you ever need me to pay you back in any way, just let me know.” I smile at him, and he smiles back.

“Don’t mention it, I’m sure I’ll think of something I want you to do sooner or later, just be ready for me to cash that blank check you wrote after this whole Matsuri business is done.” Izuru grinned, before heading off, “Well, my locker’s just up ahead, I’ll put my books away and then start sniffing around.” He waved at me, and I waved back before hastily putting my books away.

Afterward came a rather awkward walk towards Matsuri’s club room as I realized what I was going to have to do for her. Sure I could ask one of her friends to help, but… That would be even worse, not to mention that her friends apparently all have after school activities. I thought about Marine, but quickly disregarded her, she was waaayy too horny and forward, Matsuri would shut down basically the second Marine said anything at all.

No, this burden was mine and mine alone.

Soon the light of the room came into view, and I idled at the door for a moment as my nerves began to claw at me. This was just training, not anything extreme. She’s just going to be learning to talk and express her feelings long enough that she can ask a girl out. Nothing major at all. Finally, I pushed open the door and looked at the front, where I figured Matsuri would be.

She was sitting there, reading a manga silently, she seemed so enraptured in it that she didn’t hear me enter. ‘Hmm, an opportunity presents itself…’ What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t spook another friend while they were unaware? Creeping up to her, I reach the front of the desk without her noticing immediately and lean forward to see what she’s reading. I saw… A tall woman with a lion tail and ears, it looked like they were just getting in with the protagonist from a blizzard. Then… Oh.

My face turned beet red and my eyes widened. Of course I was planning to back away to save us both the embarrassment and pretend that I wasn’t there, but I should have known that fate was not on my side. At that moment, Matsuri looked up and squeaked, “E-Eh?! R-Ren?” She stands up in horror, however since I was already leaning over looking at her book, her move brought our faces dangerously close together. The shock and increased heart rate just grew as I suddenly found myself staring into Matsuri’s eyes, her face (for a second time in the past two days) a mere few inches from mine. We stared dumbly at each other for a solid few seconds before I finally gained enough faculty to turn around and cough, clearing my throat as I tried to get ahold of myself again.

Matsuri quickly closed the manga she was reading, then put it on one of her shelves, “A-Ah, u-uhhm, L-Lotus-kun… I didn’t hear you open the door.” As I turned back to her I could see she was still recovering, “S-So a-are you going to train me today?” I nodded a few times, trying to just move on from this incident as I pulled out my phone and started to read over the list.

“Right… We’re going to start with simple greetings. Okay, pretend like you’re trying to say hi to me.” I looked up from my phone at her as she seemed to be finally changing focus fully to the lessons.

“KONBANWA-SHOI!” She yells at the top of her lungs, causing me to shake my head. This was her idea of a normal greeting? This was going to take a lot longer than I initially feared…

So I spent the next while getting her to understand that a normal greeting is not shouting at people, a simple “Ohayo” would be fine, or whatever other greeting fits the time of day. Matsuri was… Kind of hard to get to actually fully understand, one minute she would be doing it just fine and the next she was right back to shouting, she told me that it just felt more exciting and interesting than a regular greeting. I told her that at least she should use a regular greeting for meeting with this girl.

“Okay, I think the next thing to work on is how you hold conversations. You have a tendency to interject when other people are speaking, which is rude in the wrong contexts. You don’t want to be doing that.” I clicked my tongue, realizing I’d need some sort of reinforcement for this. Finally, I spotted a ruler and picked it up, inspecting it. Wooden, nice and durable, seemed to be quality. Perfect.

“Okay, we’re just going to start talking and every time you interrupt me before I’m finished speaking, you get a smack on the wrist.” It was an old school punishment but clearly it worked, right? Had to teach people some way. Matsuri seemed apprehensive, rubbing her fist as if I’d already smacked it.

“Uhm, okay…” She nods, “That sounds like a good idea! That way I’ll remember the smacks every time I think of interrupting!” At least she got the general idea. “Sooo… What do we talk about then?”

I walked back in front of her, “What’s your favorite subject in school?” I started with the questioning, she seemed receptive to my question, “Oh history, totally! It’s so cool to hear about the wars and battles and stuff, especially the Sengoku Jidai!” I nodded, that was good taste right there. “Oh? Personally my favorite is the Edo-” Matsuri groaned, “Nooo, that’s so boring!”

SMACK!I

“Owww!” She rubbed her wrist and pouted, “Right, sorry…”  We began again, and over the course of… However long, I lost track, we made…. A bit of progress. Matsuri’s wrist was so red I had switched to the other one to not actually injure it, yet she went from interrupting me basically every other sentence to only doing it every so often, which I could appreciate. I’m sure it’d take a lot longer to actually remember this, but she’s on the right foot now.

After a certain point though I began to get the feeling she was starting to interrupt me on purpose. I didn’t know why, but I considered that enough to move on to the next topic, at this point I was pacing back and forth to keep my brain from wandering off to some other topic. “Right, so now we’re onto flirting.” This was going to be a hard one, but maybe I could just have her talk to the wall or something. “When I say flirting, I don’t mean the kind of stuff you say to your friends. That kind of stuff will send this girl running for the hills, you can only say that with your friends because they know you don’t mean it. Got it?”

Matsuri nodded, but then pushed her fingers together and proceeded to ask, “Could you… Demonstrate? I-I don’t really know anything about ‘normal’ flirting, hearing you flirt would help me learn how I should be talking to a girl.” Her request stopped me in my tracks and made a blush run up my face and my ears to start hearing my heart beating.

“E-Eh? I-I mean, uhhh…” How did I not anticipate this would happen? I guess part of me filed this possibility away with something that would have happened if Izuru was here right now. However, ignorant fool that I was, I forgot to account for this after Izuru decided he would really rather not.  I took a deep breath and looked out the window at the afternoon sky, thinking of an excuse I could use to not. Yet, grasp as I might like, I couldn't find one. Sighing, I put on a brave face, though it was still very red.

“Fine!” I declared, “I will give it my best shot to try and help you.” I looked at her, and almost lost my composure. She was still pushing her fingers together, although now she had started looking down, and gained an anxious look on her face. The combination of things made it hard to not trip over myself, but I had to push on. “O-Okay…” I started to think back on the countless articles I read this morning, as well as some videos I had looked at long before this happened, when I was desperate and had yet to give up on dating.

“Just a preface, don’t do all of these one right after the other in real life. You’ll spot the opportunity to use any of these, hopefully.” Start with the opener… “Your shirt looks nice, I like it.” Simple, effective, can’t lead in too strong or else you’ll overwhelm or scare off anyone you’re trying to get with. I saw Matsuri’s anxious frown start turning into a small smile. Good, now for personality. “I noticed how much manga you have, you must be a very passionate girl. It’s impressive.” Her smile was now a lot more noticeable, though she was still looking down.

Now, appearance. I had to steel myself for this one, taking a deep breath, “A-And hey, your hairstyle is really cute.” I cleared my throat. I meant that, but I wouldn’t have said that if it wasn’t to educate her. “O-Okay, those’re some basics. We’re going to have to keep going over them, and then I’m going to start combining all our training. A full conversation from greeting to conversation to flirting. You’ll be flirting now, so try to remember what I demonstrated.” Matsuri seemed to have started blushing a brighter red after my flirting. Well, at the very least I could use reactions as proof that I wasn’t just bullshitting her, if she could apply these to that girl she’d have her in the palm of her hand!

So we began a conversation, I led in. “Ohayo, Matsuri.”

“Ohayo, Ren-kun!” Amazing! I smiled, forgetting the embarrassment I suffered before as I began our conversation. Gotta keep going, “How’s your day going, Matsuri?” I rested my hands on the desk, standing opposite of her. She perked up, returning to her more normal excited self, “Oh, pretty good! Lunch was actually decent today, and I was seriously looking forward to this all day, so I’m glad we’re finally here!” Awwh, that made me unconsciously start smiling a bit wider.

“Awesome, glad to hear it. Were you looking to play Apex later too?” I raised an eyebrow, just continuing the conversation as I would normally. She nodded quickly, “Yeah! I had a lot of fun playing last night so I’m looking forward to it, although maybe we should get our homework done first… Huh, a good idea from Matsuri? Not impossible, I suppose.

We continued talking about Apex for a while, which had seemed to become a common topic of conversation for us. I was fine with that, it was a decent game to play with friends. Then Matsuri went in with the first flirt, “Y-You know that shirt really looks good on you…” Her face started heating up visibly, mine got a bit of a dust up but I anticipated this so it didn’t throw me off. “Thank you, Festi-chan.” Then we continued our conversation, although it took a couple minutes for Matsuri’s motor to really kick back to normal speed.

Eventually we reached a point where I said, “Yeah sometimes my room gets really hot because of my computer.” Then Matsuri hit me with the right hook I wasn’t expecting, “Y-You look hot! A-And how far you’re willing to go for a friend is really cute.” Shit, a one-two?! I’ll admit, while I was expecting her to send out more flirts, I wasn’t expecting it to be a one-two combo that came out of nowhere.

My face was at a boiling point, any hotter and I’d start seeing steam coming out of my ears, but not out of anger like in the cartoons. “A-Ah,” Embarrassed, I looked away, “We-Well, thank you… I could never abandon a friend in need like that…” I took a step back and sat atop a desk, feet still on the ground to avoid tipping the desk.

Matsuri seemed to understand how well those blows connected, as she was back to being incredibly bashful as this time she straight up turned around to look at her manga. “Y-You’re welcome. I mean it, y’know…” Clearly she meant the second half, she wasn’t really that into guys, and she already had a crush.

“I think we can call the lessons here for today.” I said after clearing my throat, “School’s going to be closing soon and we need to be out of here before then, remember?” She nodded, although she looked like she had something else to say. I figured if it was important she’d say it eventually, so I started toward the door after grabbing my bag. Similarly, Matsuri grabbed her bag and hurried after me.

Once more heading outside the school and starting down the hill, she decided to speak once we reached the bottom. “So uh… Do you think I did good enough? When can I ask her out?”

I tapped my chin, “You did good but we still need to get a few more wrinkles ironed out, so to speak. Tomorrow’s Friday so I’ll try and give you as much practice as I can so you have something to think about over the weekend.”

“Wanna… Come to the mall with me tomorrow afternoon?” She asked softly, almost a whisper. Eh? Eh?! Wait, no, calm down, that was normal for friends! She was probably just saying it like that because she doesn’t usually get to have friends go out with her for anything.

“Yeah, sure.” I played it calmly, no need to make it awkward. “What do ya wanna do there?” I looked up at the sky, pondering. I haven’t been to a mall in years, I was honestly surprised they still existed, but I guess that just shows how out of touch I am. Some food court food would be good…

“I was thinking of getting some new clothes and maybe seeing a movie, maybe I could learn some things about flirting from a romance movie or something, or at least it’d make me more confident.”

Well, romance movies were usually awful and unrealistic but if I was there I could curate what we watched, so she might actually be able to take something away from whatever the movie was. New clothes, I read, helped people feel more confident if they really liked the outfit. “Good idea. I’ll be picking the movie though, alright?” She didn’t seem opposed to it, instead nodding excitedly.

“Okay! Talk to you on Discord!” Then she took off, and I went home. The day was done, but my work was not, as we didn’t escape without any today. Once I got home, I grabbed some leftovers from the fridge and heated them up, then took it and a drink up with me to my room.

Once there, I took some time to eat. I figured Matsuri would take a few minutes to call me, given that she might need to do something else first too. Sure enough, it took another ten minutes for her to start calling, and by then I was done eating.

“Hey!” Matsuri greeted. “Homework time?”

“Yeah, just let me get it out first.” I started setting out my homework and books, and then we began what looked like it could potentially become a routine if we continued this pattern and worked on our homework together. Asking questions every so often, flipping pages and switching subjects as we went.

When we were done, we put our homework away and then Matsuri immediately wanted to play Apex, so that’s what we did. During that, she questioned, “So are there any other training topics I need to think about?”

“Maybe look up some articles? Just see what you find, but send them to me before you read them so I can make sure they’re not feeding you bad intel.” Matsuri agreed to that, well, after swearing at the top of her lungs because she got downed. I couldn’t help but smirk at her anger, she took this game too seriously sometimes.

Eventually though we stopped, since it was getting late enough that we both needed to sleep. “I’m going to go take a shower and get ready for bed, you wanna talk for a bit longer after that or?” I asked, already up and gathering up some night clothes and putting my bag where it needed to be.

“Okay, I should go take a shower too!” Matsuri and I broke for our nightlies. I remember hearing a joke about showering at the same time as someone else, but I don’t remember what it was… Must not have been very important. It didn’t affect me at all, at least. I just went in and took a shower, brushed my teeth and got dressed before coming back out.

Matsuri came back not long after that, and I was about to go to bed a few minutes later when she stopped me. “H-Hey, I just wanted to say again that I really can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve been doing and are doing… It’s only been a couple days but we’re already such good friends, and that wouldn’t be the case if you were the kind of person who’d have ignored me like everyone else. So… Thank you.”

I smiled warmly, “Don’t worry about it, okay? The people who don’t try to get to know you might have their reasons, maybe they’re shy, maybe they don’t want to talk, you never know.” You had to give people some benefit of the doubt, “Still, I’m glad I didn’t.”

Matsuri sighed on the other side, it was a content sigh, the kind you make when you’re feeling happy. “Good night, Lotus-kun.” I bid her goodbye as well, and then we both hung up and I went to lay in bed.

Once I was in bed, naturally the first thing I did was look at my phone. Izuru had sent me a message while I was playing with Matsuri.

“I found some more info on that Hoshikawa girl.”

“Yeah?”

“She seems to have a pretty clean rap sheet, haven’t been able to learn anything about her dating habits, but I did learn that she usually eats lunch on the roof. If I were you, tomorrow I’d bring something to eat and go up there, suss her out.”

My temptation to make an overplayed joke aside, I texted back, “Thanks dude, I’ve said it before but I really do owe you.”

“No problem, like I said I’ll cash that check when all of this is done.”

With that I plugged in my phone to the charger and rolled over in bed, falling asleep.

The next morning I woke to my alarm, and proceeded to go through my daily routine. Brushing my teeth, changing into my school clothes, and this time putting together a quick bento. I set my alarm earlier today because I knew I was going to need to pull something together for my plan to work. When I had a serviceable combination of rice and leftover strips of pork all cooked and ready to go, I took it and headed out, storing the secured box in my bag.

The walk to and into the high school was just like the past two days. I couldn’t call it a ‘usual’ walk because we always see something weird, but today we didn’t get waylaid on our way to our lockers so I considered that a victory. Izuru let me know he’d be looking for yet more information while I was on the roof since we didn’t know if she’d be there today or if she would be receptive to my questions.

We started our way to homeroom and seemed to be in the clear, although we eventually ran into an obstacle. That was a tired guy in an orange polo shirt with a… Chicken on it? He was standing behind a table with a banner on it ‘Join KFP today!’ With some details about entry pay and benefits. I looked to Izuru, “...What is this?”

Izuru seemed unsurprised by this, “Kiara Fried Phoenix. Fast food eh… ‘Club?’ It used to be one of the cooking clubs but it got taken over by some girl and transformed into a club that spends the afternoon making fried chicken and then selling it to desperately hungry students who didn’t want to eat cafeteria food.”

I was both taken aback and not surprised at all, “Shouldn’t that be against the rules? Like… I feel like there should be some rule or law against running your club as a functioning business, let alone a fast food joint.”

Izuru shrugged, “Nobody’s questioned it, and it’s been here for a year or so now, so I guess it’s either not against the rules or the administration is just way too busy with other things to bother with a club that’s biggest crime was selling fried chicken. Sorry, fried phoenix. The food is pretty good, I’ll admit, but I’ve heard some… Worrying rumors about the club president, or ‘CEO.’”

“And that is…?” I looked at him, but he clammed up as he spotted an orange-haired girl in a skimpy fast food uniform march up to the desk and placing her hand on it.

“You! I need you to come to the break room with me, right now! It’s urgent.”

The employee looked a mixture of terrified, excited, and yet resigned. The two of them walked away, presumably to the ‘break room.’

“That. Let’s just say there’s some rumors about the president and at least one of the employees, that guy there. We’re not sure, I personally assume that if it was anything actually illegal the Oozaru police would get involved and shut the whole thing down in place of administration.” I was shocked at that. That was just creepy, I hoped if anything bad was happening that someone would blow the whistle on it eventually.

With that out of the way, we headed to class. Matsuri, when she arrived, greeted me the same as yesterday. A hug and a big grin, which made me feel fuzzy if I was being honest, it was just too wholesome. Honestly today was already looking good because she didn’t scream at the top of her lungs when walking into the room. I was optimistic that I’d find what I wanted to know today and maybe put any doubt that this would end badly to rest.

If things did go wrong, then I would need to break the news to Matsuri at an opportune time, so she didn’t make any mistakes like trying to invite the straight girl out on a date. Her reputation was already shoddy, if something like that happened and it actually got any attention it would be catastrophic, and the rumors would start spreading. If it got too bad, I shuddered to imagine how Matsuri would react when she found out.

When Matsuri came back and sat down, she asked me, “So are you planning to come eat lunch with us today? You didn’t eat at all yesterday! It was so weird, are you into some weird anti-food fetish?” What the fuck?

Well, guess you can’t get rid of all the bad habits. “No, I didn’t feel like it. I have something I need to take care of during lunch today though, I’m… Helping a teacher with something.”

Matsuri pouted, “Awwh. Next time you don’t show up I’m gonna go find you wherever you are and drag you back!” I believed that, actually. Regardless, I smiled at her and then went back to scanning yet more dating advice websites.

The classes went by pretty quickly, nothing out of the ordinary with Matsuri nor any of the classes. Once lunch hit, I immediately got up and started walking for the stairs. As I walked up the four flights to the roof access, I could feel my legs starting to complain to me. I really needed to work out more… I was on the way to being one of those people who dies from doing a bit of physical exertion. Once I got to the roof access, I caught my breath and then opened the door.

It had a fairly standard roof, actually, although I was sure there were some things hiding somewhere that were insane, or maybe they kept it all in the lower floors? I looked to the sky, basking in the temperate breeze and the not too hot sun. It was beautiful out today, no doubt. Then I spotted my target, sitting alone on a bench eating from a bento. Target acquired, I walked over and greeted from a distance to avoid spooking her, “Ohayo! Mind if I join you? I wanted to eat up here too today.” I tried my best to act like the most normal student in history.

The girl looked at me and gave a bright and happy smile, “Hey! Sure, come and sit! It’s beautiful out here today.” Well, she seemed friendly at least. Once I got over to her and sat down, I spoke up, “Ren, nice to meet you.” I put my bento next to me and looked at her, “I think I’ve seen you around before, are you… Sara?”

She nodded, “That’s me! Nice to meet you, Ren-kun!” Already Ren-kun? Man, she was really friendly. She continued, “What made you want to come sit up here? I’m glad to have someone with me for a change.”

“Weather was nice and I felt like making my own food today. I felt like trying a new routine out and seeing how I like it.” I watched as she took her bento box and opened it, and I was left in awe of the sight before my unworthy eyes. A nicely sized bento box revealed to hold fried tempura, rice with assorted seasonings I couldn’t identify (other than the obvious salt and pepper), teriyaki chicken that was beautifully sliced and ready to eat, among other things… It made mine feel sad. Damn, was I the one living like a shut-in this whole time?

I must have been staring, because Sara giggled while looking between me and her bento. “Want to try it? I made it myself, y’know.” Blinking a few times, I nodded slowly. I went to grab my chopsticks, yet she had other plans. Grabbing a piece of the chicken, she held it up, “Open up!”

Wooaahhh, isn’t that coming on a bit strong?! I guess if she was used to sharing it like that with her lady friends, it wouldn’t be something out of a corny romance anime to her.  Assuming that was the case, I shrugged and tried the food she held out, opening my mouth and letting her feed it to me. Once that was over, I was blown away! The chicken was perfectly made, I honestly couldn’t believe it. “Wow… This is amazing!” I exclaimed after swallowing.

Sara grinned, “Glad you like it!” Then she started eating hers, while I went and took mine out and sighed as I looked at how sad it was. I was about to dig in when Sara suddenly moved and placed above half of her chicken in my bento. Once again I was in shock, and once again she giggled, “I have a big box of food, no way I’d eat everything, so I’m happy to share!”

Damn, she was almost too friendly to a random boy she just met. I wasn’t going to turn down her generosity, but it certainly made me curious. As we ate, we began talking, just sharing general information and thoughts on stuff. What class we were in, what our favorite subject was and who our favorite teacher is. I kept thinking of ways to bring up romance but I never could find the opening. I had almost written today’s expedition as a failure on that front, but I didn’t account for one possibility. The one blindspot in my plan because I assumed it was completely impossible.

She brought it up instead.

“So I know you’ve only been here for a little while, but have you met anyone you’re interested in?” Sara seemed genuinely curious as she tilted her head looking at me, at this point both our bentos were empty and we were just talking. Still, the fact that she asked me that left me reeling. She waited patiently, and eventually I gathered myself.

“Ah, well, no I can’t say I really have.” Why did my mind go to Matsuri? I mean we shared a few awkward moments but… That was all it was, wasn’t it? “Haven’t been here that long and most of the people I meet here are insane, I think the only two friends I can say I have right now are my boy Izuru and Matsuri.”

“You can count me as a friend!” Sara gave me a sweet smile and I couldn’t help but feel a blush dance across my face, no wonder Matsuri was absolutely smitten with this girl. If I weren’t here on a mission, I might also have fallen into the same position as her. Yet I wouldn’t allow that to happen, I wasn’t into NTR at all, let alone doing it to a friend with their crush.

“Okay!” I nodded, “So… Do you know Matsuri?” Sara tapped her chin, she seemed to be sorting through her mental files to try and find a folder labeled ‘Matsuri.’ It took her a few moments but she seemed to finally find the file as she spoke.

“Oh, her! Hmm… I always thought she was kind of creepy, with how she gropes her friends and flirts with them out in the open like that.” Sara shudders, “No offense to her… I’m sure she's a great person, but it makes me not want to be around her. She’s just…” Sara leaned over and whispered, “Isn’t she a Menhera?”

My blood ran cold, I fought off any visible or audible reaction at first as I looked away and thought about a response. This was the worst possible outcome, she’d been completely won over by the rumors, not only that but she’d seen Matsuri’s usual behavior, and thought it was creepy. I can’t say I’d blame her for that either, which was the worst part of this whole thing.

I picked my words carefully, “I just met her this week so I can’t speak for everything about her, but… I thought the same thing at first. She’s a great person, even if she’s… Socially inept. Sometimes she’s annoying, sometimes she is creepy and way too forward with her questions, and yet…” I thought back to just how broken up about having a new genuine friend she was, and it made my heart ache. “...I don’t regret meeting her and becoming her friend, she makes the day brighter and her way of looking at things is so different that it helps bring you into balance if you’re losing your head.”

Sara cooed at my response, “Awwhhh… That’s so sweet. She’s lucky to have a friend like you, you’re… A very rare kind of person, I don’t know if I could tolerate some of the things she does.” I smiled slightly at the compliment, although my mind was still hung up on the things she said before.

She stood first after a few minutes, “Well I should be going back to homeroom, the bell will be ringing in a few and I wanna beat the crowds! I hope you come back here later, Ren-kun.” She grins at me, a small blush dancing across her cheeks “You’re the kind of company I could get used to having around all the time!” Then she hurried off.

The hell did that mean? I tried to think of any other meaning to that statement that wasn’t just ‘you’re cool to have around during lunch’ and it plagued me as I closed my bento box and took it with me back down the stairs. “What did she mean…?” I whispered, rubbing my chin as I reached the bottom floor and went to put my bento back in my bag which was sitting in class. It was only when I sat down and actually slipped it away that my mind dug up the imagery of her blushing face telling me she wanted to have me around a lot more.

Wait- No, there’s no way. We literally just met! Maybe in romance anime and comedies crushes developed that quickly, but not in real life! No way, no sir! Still, I placed my head atop my bag and just sat there like that for a few more minutes, until I felt someone tap my shoulder. When I looked up I noticed Izuru, eyebrows raised and face with concern written all over it. “Uhhh… Unless your bento poisoned you, I have to assume something bad’s happened with the plan?”

Finally, someone I could unload this info onto! I was lucky that the bell hadn’t rung yet, seemed like Sara liked some free time before class started. Not that I blamed her, at least this time it gave me time to relay what I found out to Izuru. He nodded along to my story. When I described her opinion of Matsuri, his face fell as he muttered, “Shit…” Yet I wasn’t done, and he now started to realize this was going into yet worse territory.

By the end of it his palm landed on his forehead as he leaned back in his chair in a look of despair. “Fuck… This is not good, do you have some fucked up anime protagonist powers or something?! She was crushing on you that fast? Dude, I wish I had that kind of game! You aren’t even trying to do that.”

“That’s not the point- Ugh, look, we don’t know if she’s actually got a crush. She could just be really friendly, which is totally in character for her. The Matsuri thing is bad, but it means I’m going to need to try to build her up and make more trips up there during lunch. It’s the only way I could salvage anything out of this.”

Izuru sighed, “Yeah. I’m worried though man, if she does get a crush on you that’s going to make things so much more complicated. Especially because from all indicators, if that is the case we can assume she’s straight. Everything we feared and an extra side helping of awful. That’s a haachama-tier lunch special right there if I’ve ever seen one. I’ll try and keep Matsuri busy so she doesn’t wonder where you go off to during lunch but… Try to resolve this without spending all your time up there if you can.”

That was easier said than done, but I was in agreement regardless. I nodded, “I’ll try. No harm in that…” My stomach was in knots and my chest was tight with anxiety, and I knew none of it was because of the bento. We didn’t get a chance to talk more as the bell rang basically immediately after, so we just got ready for the next class while I tried to push the thoughts to the back of my mind.

It didn’t work, instead the thoughts were just whispering to me while I tried to listen to the teachers. Everytime I looked at Matsuri I just started to feel awful, if she found out about any of what Sara said about her… I don’t think she’d recover for a long time. I had to try and get that girl to change her opinion while avoiding any potential of her having a crush on me. Easier said than done…

Once classes were over, I went through what had proven to become routine. Talk with Izuru as we walked to the lockers, this time we were both lamenting the situation I was now faced with and how he would continue to try and do his part. Then once we split up and I had put everything away (except a couple of Berserk manga that I had finally remembered to bring with me) and then headed to the club room.

It felt like literally every day something new was making each visit to the club more dreadful. Once I got there, I stored the two manga on a part of the shelf for later and we started going over some more techniques for her to use, although I couldn’t put my all into it with how scattered my mind’s attention was right now. Matsuri seemed to be picking up that something was bothering me, midway through the training she spoke up. “Ren-Sensei… Is something bothering you? You don’t seem very focused today… Are you feeling too horny or something?”

“What…? No, and I told you to stop calling me that!” I rapidly shook my head, “Just… Thinking about some personal stuff, that’s all. Things to do with my parents and all that, nothing you need to worry about.” That seemed like it was the best diversion I could give, although it just seemed to make Matsuri feel more concerned as she walked over to me and abruptly gave me a tight hug, head resting on my chest.

“Well… If you ever feel like talking about it, you can tell me! You’ve been amazing to me, helping me so much despite not having to and being such an amazing friend… We only met this week but I already wouldn’t replace you with anyone! So if you need anything, just let me know…” She stayed hugging me, and I couldn’t help but start stroking her short hair.

Damn it, Matsuri… Unbeknownst to her she just made me feel worse. There was absolutely no way I could let her down. “Thank you, I will. Now, let’s get back to training, huh…? I’ll try and pay more attention this time.” As she broke off and went back to her side of the desk, I couldn’t help but feel my resolve strengthen.

I couldn’t let her down, no matter what. Just hold on, Matsuri! I’m going to fix all of this, and you’ll never even know that it’s happening! I promise you!

…I hope I can, at least.